Q: I have a new co-worker who keeps whistling loudly near my desk. I asked him to tone down the whistling, but he wouldn't stop. Then I asked my supervisor to address the issue, but she completely blew me off. Although I have gone to the company president and submitted a formal complaint to human resources, the loud whistling has continued.
As a result of this irritating behavior, I am taking medication for severe migraine headaches. My nerves are on edge every day, and I am completely stressed out. What do I do next? Get an attorney and file harassment charges?
A: This relatively minor annoyance obviously has escalated into a serious power struggle. And the whistling guy seems determined not to let you win. If his goal is to upset you, you're delivering exactly the reaction he wants.
Odds are that Mr. Whistler is thoroughly enjoying your anger and irritation. So the winning strategy in this game is to stop complaining, ignore his whistling and just smile pleasantly when you see him. If necessary, distract yourself with a radio or iPod.
To provoke a response, your tuneful colleague may escalate the volume temporarily. But if you maintain your self-control, the whistling eventually will decrease. And if you stop working yourself up into an emotional frenzy, your headaches are likely to disappear.
Realistically, the only thing you can control in this situation is your reaction. You have given this co-worker way too much power to affect your life, so you need to take that power back.
Q: I would like your opinion of "canned" employment interviews in which the interviewer reads from a list of prepared questions. I think that interviewers should come up with their own questions or, at least, not make it obvious that they are reading from a list. I recently had an interview like this, with no follow-up questions or comments. Although I answered the questions, I found it to be insulting and uncomfortable.
A: Robotically plodding through a list of canned questions produces an ineffective interview that makes a poor impression on the applicant. However, developing a set of basic job-related questions to ask each applicant is a recommended interviewing technique.
The difference is that the basic questions should be only a starting point. After each one, follow-up questions need to be asked, based on the applicant's answer. Specific questions also should be drawn from each person's resume.
The reason for using some standard questions is that an interview is essentially a "test," and applying the same test to each candidate promotes fairness and consistency. But at the same time, the interviewer needs to gather as much information as possible about each applicant.
Your detached, mechanical questioner was probably just an inexperienced manager following the dictates of a well-intentioned but overly structured human resources department. And though it may have been annoying, you undoubtedly will encounter much worse interviewers than this one.
- Marie G. McIntyre is an Atlanta-based workplace coach. Her weekly column is syndicated by Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service. Send questions at www.yourofficecoach.com.