ajc.com 2008 Holiday Guide

One of Henry Leeds' New Year's resolutions for 2007 — along with his target income, goals for his business, being a better husband and keeping his word — was running the Atlanta Half-Marathon on Thanksgiving Day with his grandson.

"I knew it was going to be a push," says Leeds, 67, a Dunwoody business coach and consultant. "I hadn't done one in six years. But I made a resolution to do it and two 10Ks, and I did them all. But if I hadn't put the half-marathon on the list, there were times I would not have done it. Toward the end, I felt I wasn't in as good a shape as I was for previous ones. But I did it anyway."

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, Leeds is a double anomaly. First, he is one of a shrinking group of Americans who regularly make them. Second, he is one of an even smaller group who write down their resolutions and approach them systematically.

In 2004, a survey found that only 49 percent of the respondents made New Year's resolutions, but 79 percent had no systematic approach to achieving them. A year later, another survey found that the resolution pool had dropped to 45 percent – compared to an estimated high of 88 percent – and that only eight percent of Americans achieve their New Year's resolutions.

"Resolutions have been so overdone that when people make them they don't have any commitment," says Tommy Newberry of Vinings. Newberry is a life coach and author of several motivational books, including The New York Times bestseller "The 4:8 Principle." "It's almost sort of a fun, celebratory ritual, but most are gone before the hangover wears off."

"Since I was a little kid, I thought resolutions were silly," says Mike Kendall, a Dunwoody entrepreneur who quit smoking a few years ago without a resolution. "If I want to do something with my life, why should I wait for a new year?"

Indeed, resolutions have become a quaint custom, rather like singing "Auld Lang Syne." They have been replaced by goals and business plans, by accountability and sweet spots.

"I think resolutions are a very useful thing for people to do," says Dr. Caroline Dott, a Sandy Springs psychotherapist and motivational speaker who specializes in working with those at midlife. "But many people don't do it, or if they do, they don't write it down and by March it's gone out the window. That's the missing piece. You have to have a plan that's reasonable, logical and doable, and carry it out."

Leeds backs up his list with specific, measurable goals that take him step by step from one end of the year to the other. It was just such a plan — and unwavering commitment — that enabled him to eliminate in 18 months debt that his accountant said would take five years.

"I used to make resolutions when I was in college and early in my marriage," says Paul Hanna, a commercial real estate broker from Dunwoody. "But I found the effect of not fulfilling the resolutions was negative, and I wound up feeling worse about myself. That's when I quit."

Cindy Hunsinger, an executive coach from Alpharetta, calls self-criticism, "the saboteur. It's that little voice that chews away at you and you tend to get afraid: 'Who are you to accomplish that?' All kinds of negatives come up. Unless you have someone helping you work through that, it's very difficult."

"The normal 18-year-old has been told 180,000 to 190,000 times what not to do," says Jack Llewellyn, the sports psychology consultant who has worked with the Atlanta Braves for 16 years. "What we learn is to try not to fail . . . You have to push that emotional package to [succeed]."

Llewellyn has needed abundant doses of the kind of medicine he once prescribed for John Smoltz and NASCAR driver Tony Stewart. In a period of four months, he had a serious automobile accident, got divorced, lost his home to foreclosure and was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

"I realized in a heartbeat that when I got MS I had one of two choices," he says. "Either hang it up and go away or understand that things happen for a reason, and structure my life so I can accomplish things."

One of the first things he did was make a list of his assets and liabilities, and identify those who would make him accountable. "It's not someone who's going to whine with you," he says. "It needs to be somebody who's going to challenge you, say what you don't want to hear and hold you to task."

One of those people was Braves manager Bobby Cox.

"The most incredible, caring, compassionate person I've ever met," Llewellyn says. "He hasn't excused me from doing my job, and it would be easy to do that. But I always felt accountable to him, and I have no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't had him I wouldn't be in the shape I'm in."

Llewellyn now gives 30-35 talks a year to MS patients and has written a book, "The Speed of Recovery" to follow up on his first, "Winning Sure Beats Losing."

Experts also agree that nothing is more important to goal-setting than internal motivation.

"Internal motivation is paramount to everything else," says Newberry. "It will determine how long you're committed. If you really want it, you're not going to give up by the end of January. That's why the prerequisite is selecting goals in your 'sweet spot.' Those are goals you were uniquely suited to reach. It makes you want to get up early and stay up late. My personal belief is that those overarching desires are from God."

"It's that excited, creative, passionate, juicy little place inside of us that gets really excited about something and wants to go for it," says Dott. "That dimension helps people carry through their goals and resolutions because they are 'in-spirited' — inspired — to fulfill that part of themselves as people. The older we get, the more living in spirit becomes important because it gets into the arena of 'What kind of legacy do I want to leave?'"

Ultimately, says Hunsinger, the question is "What do you want your family, friends and co-workers to say about you when you're gone?"