Home > Holiday Blog > Archives > 2008 > December > 19 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USDating’s gift giving rules
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The holiday season can make a significant impact on a new relationship. It can either push you to the next stage, knock you back a step, or bring out the oh so lovely confusion stage. Sometimes this is brought about because of the gift giving process.
One gift (good or bad) can totally change the game. If you are in a new relationship, one of you (ok, the woman!) may look at the gift to decipher some deep meaning. This is when the gift can
In the first year of a relationship, I don’t think it’s important to go all out or spend a lot of money. This is the ideal time to put some thought into something they would cherish. What are gift ideas for relationships that are less than 1 month old? 3 months? 1 year?
This hilarious commercial shows how one bad gift can put a guy in the doghouse. Guys have you ever given a gift that upset your girlfriend or wife? What was it? Ladies, did you ever give something to your man that didn’t go over so well?
Is it a good idea to impose a spending limit on Christmas presents? What’s an acceptable amount to spend on your first Christmas together? What are some gifts that you have given or received when you just started dating someone?
What if you just met someone that you are really into. Do you play it safe and just squeeze in some QT with them? Do you wait for them to bring up the gift exchange?
Guys, you are so tough to buy for, what are some items you secretly wish the women in your life would get for you?
Ladies, do you have a grown up Christmas wish list? What do you hope to see under the tree?
Happy Friday!
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Comments
By EJ the Diva DJ
December 19, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
I remember a few years ago I had been dating this attorney for a couple of months. I really like him so I gave him some designer cologne that came with a free bag, a denim jacket, cuff links, and socks. He gave me an ugly gift from Bath & Body works that cost about $25. It looks like something he gave all the women in the office. I was so mad. He made triple the amount of money I made and gave a cheap gift. I never really got over it although we dated off and on another two years after that. Now I have another boyfriend and we set a limit of $150 and tell each other what we want for Christmas. Last year we were only together about four months before Christmas and agreed to spend about $100. This just goes to show that just because someone makes nice money doesn’t mean they will give you a nice gift. The attorney was just a bad gift giver.
By scootanddan
December 19, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
My husband bought me a garden tiller for Christmas one year.I was so surprised because he got me the really nice one.Had the prettiest garden ever since plus it is so easy to use he will til the garden for me:)
By C tha 1
December 19, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Why do some women like to profess the size of a Christmas gift doesn’t matter when in their mind it secretly does!? Also on another note, every woman who has asked me what type of gift I wanted (and I don’t want much) has never gotten me what I requested. Instead they got me what they thought I should have. Ladies what’s up with that?
By Derrick
December 19, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this
Lol, @ the commercial… wow.. For me it is something that you learn along the way… Lets be real,, I still don’t know how to shop for women.. Its not something that we are taught,, and to be honest don’t want to learn… I went out last weekend with girl x-mas shopping,,, all day, i repeat, alllll day, and then she went back to the store we just left because she was comparing prices.. I was like just buy it and if u find something better or cheaper, just return the first item at a later date… I mean all day, really all day to shop… I will never voulnteer again.. I know what I want before I go to the store, in and out… but nooo I have to be the human calculator and find out what 30% off 135.00 purchase adds up too… Thanks I feel better
By Lee
December 19, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
I’m not dating right now, but when I last did, I was seriously put off by gifts that showed the guy paid no attention to who I was. I have 1000s of books, and he gave me elementary books on a subject I already owned advanced books on. Then he gave me cheap birthstone earrings although I have very nice ones that I had worn on dates with him. He threw my gift into the floor of his truck, half-unwrapped. So I guess we both bombed. It’s not about the money, for me. It’s about appropriateness.
By Lee
December 19, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
I’m not dating right now, but when I last did, I was seriously put off by gifts that showed the guy paid no attention to who I was. I have 1000s of books, and he gave me elementary books on a subject I already owned advanced books on. Then he gave me cheap birthstone earrings although I have very nice ones that I had worn on dates with him. He threw my gift into the floor of his truck, half-unwrapped. So I guess we both bombed. It’s not about the money, for me. It’s about appropriateness.
By Derrick
December 19, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
@ C tha 1,, Why they don’t get you what u wanted,, because they trying to change you. Trying to get you to conform to the system.. They figure you can’t turn down a x-mas gift,, you have to look xcited about getting an itchy sweater thats ugly, a sweater with the price tag was accidently left on… Most women get it now and they know they better ask for what they want. Or they may end up with a great vacuum, double bag!! Lol… but I always buy a back-up gift just incase she buys more than what I asked for which is 99% of the time…
By abc
December 19, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
In general, if I want something, I get it myself. I’m not hard to figure out as far as what gift to get, though. People don’t try, seems to me.
I tend to spend way too much money on gifts for other people, but I tend to follow a rule of simply get them what I know they’d like. If she wants power tools, that’s fine; diamonds, just as fine.
Folks hassle over presents too much. It’s supposed to be fun!
By myOpinion
December 19, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
If you are just starting out on a relationship then it is kind of hard to purchase a gift that you think he/she will like. In this case, I like the idea of setting a maximum $ amount for gifts. However if you have been in a relationship for awhile, all you have to do is listen to that person throughout the year on things they would like to have. If they do not have it by Christmas, then you purchase those items. Once you have been in a relationship for a while money is not as big of a subject. One year you might give the more expensive gift while the next special occasion you might receive the more expensive gift.
By Miss P
December 19, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
@C tha 1 - I think a lot of times women overanalyze things when guys say what they want. So they get what they think you mean or should have. For example, I’ve heard you never buy a so shoes or a watch. Shoes mean they’ll walk away from you and a watch means you’ll run out of time. So if your so asks for shoes or a watch, of course you’ll want to get them something else. My so and I didn’t set a limit, but we said exactly what we wanted and agreed to exchange gifts.
By Frost
December 19, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
Lee thats why u still on ur own,and miserable!
By C tha 1
December 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Lee my lady has already shown me the clothes she got me for X-Mas, and she always says “This is all you are getting for X-Mas because I’m broke and its a recession and this was on sale”. Two weeks later she comes back with a new set of shirts and pants with the same exact line.
I bought her an iTouch because I remember her saying she wanted an iPod about six months ago. It cost me about $250.00 w/ tax included, but that’s ALL she’s getting, its a recession and I’m broke. I don’t treat gift giving as a competition. Call me cheap.
By the worst gift giver
December 19, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
Gave my girlfriend a purse at our first Christmas. It had 32 pockets, a caculator, organizer, hell I think it had a slide rule. She hated it because apparently women think a purse should be appealing to the eye as well as incredibly useful.
Gave her a pearl ring. The pearl fell out and rolled away to some unknown place on the second day.
Gave her a dress. It was too small. Apparently, it was also, “not my style”.
Gave her a painting. It reminded her of something sad.
I finally gave up and asked her what she wanted. Then I took her with me to make sure I got it right.
By you're crazy
December 19, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
Miss P,
This is why men think you are all out of your minds:
“Shoes mean they’ll walk away from you and a watch means you’ll run out of time. So if your so asks for shoes or a watch, of course you’ll want to get them something else.”
Seriously, women are insane.
By baddabing
December 19, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
I’m a little older and just started dating again. Bought a bracelet I thought my date of 2 months would appreciate, had second thoughts about the message it would send and decided to give it to my 24yr old daughter(a sound backup plan). It’s always a dilema when playing this cat and mouse game. Actually the game mouse trap might be totally appropriate.