Home > Holiday Blog > Archives > 2007 > December > 07 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USShould you tell the truth about Santa?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
‘Tis the season of that jolly old elf from the North Pole.
You know who I’m talking about. Chris Cringle. Father Christmas. St. Nick. Santa Claus. He who’s making a list, and checking it twice…
But as a parent, I’m not so sure that my children’s Christmas experience should be defined so heavily - if at all - by Santa and whether they landed on his “naughty” or “nice” list.
As a kid, I long suspected that my parents were pulling my leg about our Christmas Eve visitor. We didn’t have a chimney for him to climb down, and his taste in cookies, oddly, resembled that of my dad’s.
When they let me off the hook at age 10, they were a little disappointed that I wasn’t surprised.
I was a bit put off that they wanted so much for me to buy into their deceit, and that they’d been carrying on the charade for so long.
OK, maybe I was a bit too analytical for your average 10-year-old, but you get the gist. Now, my oldest child, at 4-years-old, is becoming more aware of what Christmas is, and he can’t help but have Santa shoved down his throat.
As much as I want him to enjoy being a kid during this season, I want it to be for the right reasons.
And it should be because he’s expecting gifts from a pudgy elf legend to reward his good deeds.
My son should learn to be “good for goodness sake” without it being an afterthought to the promise of Santa’s benevolence.
OK. It’ll be difficult to explain to a 4-year-old that Santa is only a legend to personify that spirit of Christmas. But telling him the flat-out truth is the only thing I know to do.
Of course, my wife thinks I’m being too serious, and hints that I was somehow traumatized in my childhood.
But more than anything, I just hate lying to my children.
Should I just tell my son where Christmas gifts come from, or perpetuate a hoax I believe is unhealthy and could end badly for him?
Permalink | Comments (48) | Categories: holiday
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Aurora
December 7, 2007 7:28 AM | Link to this
Every year, this topic gets tossed around. Should I continue to “lie” about Santa. Well, you lie about God and Jesus to your children don’t you? You raise them to believe there are two magical men in the sky looking down on earth? Which is worse, the lie of Santa or the lie of Jesus?
Just something to ponder….
By Bill
December 7, 2007 7:45 AM | Link to this
Why, Its cynical enough in this world. Why not let a child enjoy the excitement and anticipation of this time of year. Lets get rid of Kwanza, Hannukah, and all celebration of things we might not understand or follow. I think you need to excuse yourself when your child gets up on Christmas morning with excitement and joy. After all you know the truth. Its not like they are not going to experience this type of joy when they get older. Life gets easier right?
By Shell
December 7, 2007 7:55 AM | Link to this
Well, first you should try to get the legend right before you disavow it. He’s Kris Kringle, not Chris Cringle. Second, lighten up. Telling your children about Santa Claus isn’t “lying” to ‘em. You sound like a friend of mine who also was “too analytical” for his age when he was a child. Just because you decided to be a realist early doesn’t mean your children should have to too. Let them believe in fairies, magic rabbits, and jolly old elves, let them believe in magic and mystery and fables - in benevolence for its own sake - while they’re young enough for it to brighten their lives. The world will disillusion them soon enough without you egging it on even faster. Third, amongst all this, don’t push the “He’s watching you! You better be good!” part of Santa’s legend too hard. Kids have enough problems being ballhawked every day by their parents and teachers without adding an eye in the sky to it.
Now, go have a Merry Christmas with your little ones, and this time enjoy the light in their eyes when they see what Santa, out of the goodness of his heart, brought them for Christmas.
By JJ
December 7, 2007 8:12 AM | Link to this
I still believe!!!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!
By Observer
December 7, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this
I vividly remember approaching my father and asking him if Santa was real. He told me that Santa was indeed very real and lives in the hearts and minds of everyone who chooses to believe in him.
I didn’t realize the depth of his wisdom at the time but as an adult, I absolutely believe in the “spirit of the Christmas season” and in that vein, yes, I believe in Santa.
By Poor Kid
December 7, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this
As a kid growing up in extreme poverty, I often wondered why Santa brought so many toys to the mean kids at school who didn’t deserve them. These mean rich kids were so spoiled rotten, they got everything they wanted all year-round, and they made life miserable for the poor kids and the minorities by picking on them constantly. I usually got socks and underwear, plus one inexpensive toy for Christmas. I always wondered what I’d done that made me so bad that I deserved so little from Santa, yet those mean rich kids who made their classmates cry had gotten tons of stuff from Santa - even though they already had more than they could possibly need! How could Santa possibly be so stupid that he’d think those kids had been good all year? Or even good for a day?
Now I’m off to donate tons of toys to Toys for Tots so some other kid out there doesn’t grow up feeling unworthy just because he was born poor.
By LydiasDad
December 7, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this
What a Grinch. You’re about to tell a 4 year old there’s no Santa? Why not let the kid be a kid for a while? Too many parents these force kids to grow up too fast. Let the kid believe in Santa. My daughter’s about to turn 4, and it’s a fantastic time. I’m guessing some of you are probably ok with parents taking their kids to the Folson Festival in San Fran, where homosexual activities (yep, actual sex) was happening all around them. Hey, it’s time for a 5 year old to learn about homos right? Get a grip on yourselves people, and at least ACT like a good parent.
By Lisa
December 7, 2007 8:44 AM | Link to this
I plan on doing what my parents did with me.
I always knew we were “pretending” about Santa. Just like when I pretended when I played with my dolls or my dad pretended to help me look for bears in our backyard. Was my dad lying to me when he pretended about the bears? No. He was encouraging my imagination.
My parents were honest with me, but kept the magic of season alive by keeping our focus on Jesus, but enjoying the fun of Santa.
As a young child I would ask my dad, “What kind of cookies do you think Santa would like?” Basically, asking him what did he want for a treat that night. It was all in fun.
By LydiasDad
December 7, 2007 8:47 AM | Link to this
Marcus Garner, you moron, how could Santa “be unhealthy and a hoax that could endy badly for him?”
More liberal stupidity.
By dville woodman
December 7, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this
When my kid comes home from school, and says that your kid told her there was no Santa I’ll just tell her, that some people are so bad that Santa turns his back on them so they start to doubt that he even exists. I’ll advise her to shun your kid and tell everyone at school, that Santa doesn’t even come to your house anymore because you are a pedophile.
By FCM
December 7, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this
1—God and Jesus are not fictional. You can choose to believe or not but to continue to be little others over it is assinine.
2- Yes, Virginia there really is a Santa Claus! Why on earth take that from a child. My Dad told us when we stopped believing the tree came down and presents went away…after all we already knew the day was to celebrate a birth. Besides Kris Kringle gives candy to children on the night of Dec 6….Did your kids have candy in their shoes this morning?
3-Unfortunately my young child knows what ‘gay’ is (men marrying men Mom!) I did not tell them. They learned it at school from some friends who were ‘enlightened’…unfortuneatley I am sure that will happen with Santa too.
By Nick
December 7, 2007 9:02 AM | Link to this
The innocense is what people admire most about children. Why take this aspect away at age 4?
By Greg
December 7, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this
Their were many SUNS of god. He, if, he existed was Not! special in any way.
By WTF?
December 7, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this
Well, you lie about God and Jesus to your children don’t you? You raise them to believe there are two magical men in the sky looking down on earth? Just because that’s your OPINION, doesn’t make it true! Do you have any proof? Just something to ponder…..
By Camille
December 7, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this
Not this again. There was just a discussion (debate) on this a few days ago. There must not be much left to discuss in this holiday blog.
By WTF?
December 7, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this
I say tell them when they ask. If they haven’t asked, then wait until they do.
I must admit though, I have an issue with some old, fat, white guy taking credit for my hard work……….not cool! Thank God my child figured it out at 4, and I told her the truth…….Santa represnets the spirit of giving, but you can just call me “Mama Claus”!!
By Anne
December 7, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this
Your child is only 4!!! Why would you want to do that now? Observer’s dad had it right as did Lisa’s parents! Let them believe in the magic of the season. Our children have to grow up way too fast in this day and age! Greg and WTF…hope you have a very Merry Christmas and God bless!
By FCM
December 7, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this
@ JJ—-Merry Christmas! I still believe in Santa too!
Maybe we need “Miracle on Peachtree Street”?
By CP
December 7, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this
I have 3 young children (son-7, daughters 5 & 3,) and they all believe in Santa. I’ve never encouraged them in their belief because I don’t want to take away the true meaning of Christmas: the celebration of the birth of Christ.
They’ve all asked me at one time or another if Santa is real. At first (never really believing in him myself since I saw my parents leaving presents under the tree and later claiming they were from “him”) I didn’t know what to do: tell the truth and disappoint them or only postpone the inevitable bad news. Eventually I came up with a compromise and this is what I tell them when they ask if Santa is real.
“I don’t know if he is or not. I’ve never seen him myself but that doesn’t mean someone isn’t real just because Mommy has never seen them. Some people say he really exists and some people say he doesn’t. I’m not sure, but you can believe in him if you want to.” This, to me, tells the truth and allows them to keep believing as long as they want.
One thing I do not do is to label presents “from Santa” to them. I don’t mind them thinking he’s real, but I don’t want to be part of encouraging them in it.
By ljh
December 7, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this
Santa Claus may not be real as we know it, but St. Nicholas was. Look it up. It was that spirit of giving that became the Santa legend.
By WTF?
December 7, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this
Exactly………Santa represents the spirit of giving!
Anne, Merry Christmas and God bless you too!!
By JJ
December 7, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this
If your kids see you put presents under the tree, or purchase something they see, you can tell them that Santa is a very busy man this time of year, and sometimes he needs Mom and Dad’s help. He has to stop at everyone’s house, so sometimes we have to assist Santa……
By FCM
December 7, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this
My eldest came home last year saying kids at school said Santa wasn’t real/they didn’t beleive. I told them (both children) some people do not believe in much of anything…and we decided there is something sad about that.
Later my mother overheard the kids talking at her house. The eldest said “I don’t know if he is real or not. I do think that if we don’t believe, and it is mom, and she finds out, that there won’t be anything under the tree…so we better just believe.” They have no idea how close to the truth they are….Santa always brings the ‘big’ stuff (and usually one or 2 items at all) that Mom refuses to buy them becuase we don’t ‘need’ it as oppose ‘want’ it. If they don’t want to believe then maybe I will believe they don’t need a Wii or some other thing.
By Ashley
December 7, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this
Kids grow up so quickly anyway. I don’t see any harm in encouraging them to believe in something mystical and magical at least until they 5 or 6.
By David
December 7, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this
I was once a super-realist like you. The magic for me ended on my twelth Christmas morning when in my stocking I found a packaged shaving razor…I needed to shave that early in life. Then I married a wonderful woman who worked on my realistic side and helped me to see that we all need something magical in our lives.
So you don’t perpetuate Santa. I don’t. But I don’t dismiss the importance of Santa, either. When my son asks about Santa, I don’t lie to him, but instead tell him that Santa is real as long as you believe in him and that we should focus on the spirit of Christmas, which is to give of ourselves to others and to help those in need.
I certainly don’t equate Santa to God and Jesus, as someone has posted. Santa and the spirit of Christmas is when humanity finds the good in itself and reaches out to those in need. God and Jesus is heaven reaching out to humanity in need.
So find your Christmas spirit and teach your child to focus on others. Let your child see this in you as an example. Let your child help you pick out a toy to give to Toys for Tots or the Empty Stocking Fund. That has really made an impression on my son. And it balances the “I wants” with giving back.
By healtheland
December 7, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this
Tell your kids to believe in the truth: Jesus Christ, and also the Father and the Holy Spirit. You can also tell them that Jesus Christ was not born on December 25th or anywhere near that time while you are at it. There is no excuse for Christians to be in the business of telling lies, to their kids or anyone else. There is also no excuse for supporting capitalist greed and excess by participating in this Christmasn madness. Have not people read the New Testament and seen what Jesus Christ and His apostles said about greed and materialism? Santa Claus does not personify Christmas. Santa Claus is an idol to the false gods of capitalism, materialism, misbehavior, and legalism. Yes, I said legalism. This “naughty or nice” nonsense about Santa having a list to reward good kids with gifts and punishes bad kids (the original Santa Claus myth was not so benign, but rather good kids received good things from “Santa” but bad kids received evil things!) has nothing to do with Jesus Christ, but rather teaches the opposite. Santa Claus is just another thing that blinds the eyes of people into thinking that they can somehow “earn” salvation, blessings, or other good things by “being good” instead of teaching people that we need God’s unearned, undeserved grace that Jesus Christ’s death on the cross made available to us.
If lying is a sin, then why does all the western world lie to their children about Jesus Christ being born in the dead of winter (when the Bible clearly tells us that the shepherds were out in their sheep) and about the existence of Santa Claus? That is not of God, people, but rather of Satan. Stop telling your kids lies and start giving them the truth that is in Christ Jesus.
http://healtheland.wordpress.com
By CJP
December 7, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this
I overheard my 9 YO son & 7 YO daughter talking on the porch last week. They were debating whether or not there is a Santa. My super-smart son said, “I don’t know if he is real or not but this is not the right time of year to ask Mom about it”! Brilliant…
By He's in your Heart
December 7, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this
I agree with several of the comments.
My daughter, who is 8, is starting to question the big guy in the red suit. I tell her, “He is always in your heart.” And I remind her of the reason for the season!
Let them imagine and dream for a few more years.
By LydiasDad
December 7, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this
Healtheland,
In case no one’s ever told you (and I find THAT hard to believe), you’re a hateful religious nutjob (and I’m a Christian). I hope you don’t have kids.
By msteven
December 7, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this
Yeah go right ahead and rush your kids to be grown. Take away the Best years and memories of their lives. Then when they grow up feeling lost like the idiot that in Nebraska that killed all of those innocent people because he was miserable and unhappy since he was a little boy. No one wanted him. Perhaps if he was loved and had a fond childhood he wouldnt have grown up to be so violent like so many others..just a thought. I stopped believing in Santa at about 7 but to this day I STILL hang a huge light up Head of guess who? SANTA CLAUS! I am 51 and counting and their are no kids in my home and I have the fondest memories of Christmas and Santa and lots of toys. And I love my Life.
By Mike
December 7, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this
The Bell still rings for me!!!!
By JJ
December 7, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this
Msteven AMEN!!!
By bill t
December 7, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
You mean Santa’s not real?
By healtheland
December 7, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this
LydiasDad:
If you were indeed a Christian, you would know that the New Testament calls us to be “religious nutjobs.” James 4:4 “know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.”
Luke 14:26-27 “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”
Fascinating that people think that they can call themselves Christians without taking the Bible seriously. And also, fascinating that a person can call himself a Christian while being a false accuser. What evidence do you have that I hate anybody or that I am a bad parent? None. You just threw that charge at me because you personally disagree with me. Which, of course, makes you a bigot.
Let me tell you the truth: the overwhelming majority of the population of the world does not celebrate Christmas. Why? Because only 2.2 billion of the 6 billion people on this planet are Christian. It is your own cultural chauvinism that makes you believe that a person is harming his child by refusing to lie to them about Santa Claus.
Second, even among Christians, this Christmas as we know it is relatively recent. It is well known that many of the “traditions” developed over many centuries. It is also known that the commercial excess associated with the holiday is less than two hundred years old, the result of advertising campaigns. Several of the “Christmas songs” and “Christmas poems” were written by people paid by manufacturers and stores for their advertisement campaign. The current popular image of Santa Claus was basically created by Coca - Cola (the actual Saint Nicolas was a bishop in what is now Turkey who was known for giving his wealth to the poor).
But LydiasDad, if your notion of being a Christian is being one that pays absolutely no attention to how Jesus Christ told you how to live, then that is your business. I bear no ill will for you because of your personal decision. Unlike you, who obviously bears ill will towards me for telling you so.
By greg
December 7, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this
don’t worry about…most 4 year olds will just google santa when they want to know…
By FCM
December 7, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this
I take umbridge with Coke giving us the ‘current Santa’
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; (Twas the Night Before Christmas Clement Clarke Moore)
Now if you want to say that he was dressed in ‘red’ because of Coke you might have some leverage. However prior WWII Santa was often depicted (even by Coke) in GREEN. What happened? Ask ‘Lucky Strike’—-the US Military needed the green dye for the war effort…so even good ol’ Lucky Strike changed its logo to RED an ink that was in less demand. And when they did it the whole nation went nuts and cigarette happy.
So take your postulizing and get and education further than the Bible….”For who so ever believeth in me shall not parish” (That doesn’t say if you believe in me but stop believing in Santa).
By I second that
December 7, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this
@Healtheland I co sign your post. We as Chrisitians should be careful who and what we follow. Christmas is not of God. No where in the Bible have I read that Jesus was born on December 25. No where have I read that Christmas is to be celebrated. Christ was born to save our sins and everyday we should thank God for His Son Jesus Christ.
By Aurora
December 7, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this
You fundamental christians just kill me……
If Christmas is not of God they why are you celebrating?
I don’t understand why you continue to believe in God who never existed. Jesus may have walked the earth as a MORTAL, but he did not die and come back to life 3 days later. That’s just nonsense. No human can do that. He died well over 2,000 years ago, and I hardly doubt he is coming back anytime soon.
And you choose to believe this, but not in St. Nick?
Wow…..
By FCM
December 7, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this
@ Aurora—one thing you said was true “no human could do that’—-THAT’S THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S THE MIRACLE. THAT’S THE PROOF! Jesus did more than just rise again, he went into the tabernacle and opened the holiest of all holies that ALL would know Him and be able to relate directly to God. Sheesh even Satan knew scripture (both to quote and the truth of it).
@ healtheland—As to not allowing your kids to believe Santa and quoting scripture—-the two are not mutually exclusive…do your kids get to believe in Barney?
By QC
December 7, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this
www.blackthen.com
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL
By cdawg
December 7, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this
Even though Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th, it doesn’t negate the fact there wouldn’t be a Christmas holiday, but for the celebration of his birth.
As for Santa, I would like to know what the harm is from allowing a child to believe in a character that is profoundly good. I believe those that ruin the illusion for their kids, do so because they don’t want to compete with some guy in a red suit, which makes them petty indeed.
By Red
December 7, 2007 5:30 PM | Link to this
Wait a minute…let me get this straight….THERE IS NO SANTA??????? SO WHO HAVE I BEEN PAYING MY TITHES TO ALL THIS TIME?????
By daw
December 7, 2007 5:48 PM | Link to this
Question was not on religion,put down that BIBLE answer about Santa.Yes let your kids be kids they grow up fast enough.
By daw
December 7, 2007 5:48 PM | Link to this
Question was not on religion,put down that BIBLE answer about Santa.Yes let your kids be kids they grow up fast enough.
By RWE
December 7, 2007 7:26 PM | Link to this
First, Christmas is out of control. It is, after all, a religious Christian holiday. God and Jesus Christ are spiritual concepts, requiring knowledge and faith to accept them. Most people believe in a force greater than humankind. Thus, Christians believe in Christ. So be it.
Now, as for Santa Claus, I prefer the origin based on the St. Nicholas - a wealthy Greek who loved children, and anonymously gave to the poor and needy. Thus, the birth of this tradition. Some say Santa is based on the Magi who brought gifts to the baby Jesus. Whatever you believe, the fantasy is fun for children and does no harm. Haven’t you ever read a fairy tale to your child? Santa is about joyful expectation and surprise. At some point, he’ll discover it’s not real.
I say Christmas is out of control because of the emphasis on extravagant giving, not only to children, but also to adults. It’s been commercialized. Retailers have taken over and duped everyone into shopping ‘til they drop. Santa is blown way out of proportion. Nativity scenes are practically nonexistent.
Growing up in a 1940s Christian home, the focus was on celebrating the birth of Jesus. We also visited Santa. We received fruit, nuts, and candy in our stockings, and happily found clothing and toys under the tree. our tree was decorated with popcorn, strung by us (the kids), and paper chains, also made by us with construction paper. We sang Christmas carols, drank apple cider, ate cookies, and had great family time. Adults exchanged token gifts. I maintained these traditions with my children and added the Advent wreath to our religious observance four weeks before Christmas Day. My family also had us take gifts to children and families who were less fortunate… Another tradition I maintained with my children via my church and Toys for Tots.
Today, my children do similarly with my grandchildren. So, Marcus, it’s all about how you view Santa and Christmas. May you and your family have a merry one! — RWE
By pirk
December 7, 2007 8:12 PM | Link to this
* Ahm * All you people who speak like YOU know the truth and ONLY you. We have no proof that Jesus came back, BUT we have no proof he didn’t. Lets all quit acting superior and judgmental.
I wish I knew for sure. I guess thats why they call it faith. But quit acting rude and superior. That will never win over anyone. One thing we should not believe in is anything that is based on fear.
As for Santa. Chill out! If they ask seriously, then tell them what you think is best. They are your kids after all.
Merry Christmas everyone.
rob
By SCY
December 10, 2007 6:34 AM | Link to this
For all those bitter atheists and Santa Apologists on this blog:
Look up the word “lie” in the dictionary…to knowingly deceive. If someone believes in God and shares that faith with their children that isn’t a lie and just because you believe there is no God doesn’t make it true either (impassioned bitterness and desire to decry others for their beliefs is not proof in support of atheism) but of course you are all knowing and everyone with a different viewpoint is somehow beneath your superior intellect right? What bigots!
By Santa
December 10, 2007 6:56 AM | Link to this
It was a great day when I told my son that I was Santa, as was my father, and that he too could be Santa. It was a condition of the heart, that once you understood giving to others, it outweighs all. That year he went with me to the office, and we picked two angles from the angle tree, one girl, and one boy about his age. He read the wants and needs on the cards, and we went on a shopping trip. Time has passed and my little boy has become a young man, he plays college football 800 miles away now, but he let me know he recruted the assistance of 2 team mates. they have collected money from the other players, and are being Santa too some others less blessed. Yes, Santa is real, I’m one. Where’s yours? If he’s lost, find him. Its not too late. Merry Christmas, and May God Bless.