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DEL.ICIO.USOver-invited at Thanksgiving
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I understand how important Thanksgiving is to most people. No other holiday is more in keeping with America’s well-deserved reputation for being the most generous, hospitable country in the world.
That’s why I’m applying for temporary Canadian citizenship this Thursday.
Oh, c’mon! Anything’s got to be better than last Thanksgiving, when I wound up a fugitive in my own home. Trussed and stuffed into a “Butterballs Gone Bad” version of witness protection, my only hope was to lie low and keep completely quiet. One slip-up — a ringing telephone accidentally answered, a “Michael Bolton Sings Mambo” CD played slightly too loud — and my goose would be cooked. I’d suddenly find myself sitting beside obnoxious Uncle Elmo at some friend’s Thanksgiving table, quietly pushing the turkey around on my plate and plotting to drown myself in the gravy boat. Again.
Thanksgiving is duller than all-white meat on an all-white plate. The entire day revolves around a meal that takes about nine hours to prepare and less than 20 minutes to demolish. The menu is so unvarying that serving pumpkin pie without whipped cream qualifies for a CNN news alert. The conversation is almost entirely about eating; then, right after dessert, it abruptly shifts to how nobody’s ever eating anything again. But heaven forbid I not be there. And there. And there …
Since moving to Georgia in the 1990s, I’ve been barraged with Thanksgiving invitations. I suspect some well-meaning types are truly perplexed that I’m happily single and determined to show me the error of my ways by welcoming me into the bosom of their loving families for the day. I also suspect they haven’t spent as much “quality time” with Uncle Elmo as I have. Then too, food isn’t a big deal to me (I subsist mostly on peanut butter, potato chips and champagne, not necessarily in that order). So perhaps I represent an irresistible challenge.
For a long time, I reluctantly rotated my presence to a different house for Thanksgiving dinner each year. Maybe I’d stop by a second one for dessert. It wasn’t the ideal solution, but it worked well enough. Until that fateful Thanksgiving a few years back, when I realized that I’d been politely browbeaten into R.S.V.P.-ing “yes” to a 1 p.m. meal. And a 4 p.m. one. And not one, but two different ones, at 7 p.m.
When the whole misguided, yam-packed day finally ended — some 11 hours, four fully dressed turkeys and one Honeybaked Ham later — I vowed that as God was my witness, I’d never be so unhungry again. I was a successful, mature woman, and if I wanted to stay home all day in my jammies and watch a “Love Boat” marathon on cable, I could. All I had to do was state my case: boldly. Eloquently. Unapologetically.
How about you? If you’re single, how do you spend Thanksgiving? And how would you like to spend Thanksgiving?
Permalink | Comments (27) | Categories: Thanksgiving
Comments
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By Mara
November 16, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this
It’s nice being single at Thanksgiving, then you aren’t expected to cook or host at your house. Instead you get to go party by party and have a great excuse to leave - getting to the next house!
By Mara
November 16, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this
It’s nice being single at Thanksgiving, then you aren’t expected to cook or host at your house. Instead you get to go party by party and have a great excuse to leave - getting to the next house!
By Weather Man
November 16, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
I LIKE TURTLES!!
By Weather Man
November 16, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
I LIKE TURTLES!!
By Weather Man
November 16, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
I LIKE TURTLES!!
By John in Tampa, FLA
November 16, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
Hmmmmmmmm, Thanksgiving in Atlanta or Thanksgiving in Amsterdam. Decisions, decisions.
By better things to do...
November 16, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this
Please allow me to comment even tho I’m not single. We have no children and no family locally. In the past people invited us but we always felt like outsiders and it was very awkward, but now we’re happily on our own at the holidays. To me, mandatory family get-togethers are for gluttony and misery and the spirit of the occasion gets lost. If I want to go for a walk and watch reruns of whatever, I can. If I don’t want to eat turkey, no problem. On the other hand, if I have a remote desire to see friends that weekend, forget about it b/c they’re all inundated with family the entire holiday season. Come to think of it, maybe our forefathers who first celebrated Thanksgiving weren’t so happy with the family get-together either. You know, I’ve heard it’s all a plot by retailers to jump-start holiday season sales.
By Becky
November 16, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this
John in Tampa, hope you have fun in Amsterdam. I know if I had that choice, that’s where I would be..
By John in Tampa, FLA
November 16, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this
Thanks Becky:
I was also there June, 06 and March, 07.
By far my most favorite city.
By Becky
November 16, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this
I was there about 8 years ago & I loved it also…
By Just me
November 16, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this
They have the best smoke there too and it’s legal :>)If everyone would just light one up on t-day, i’m sure they’d be in a much better spirit.
By John in Tampa, FLA
November 16, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this
Becky:
I learned one lesson in March, don’t speed on the A10 Ring.
Georgous city. We take train from airport to central station and walk to our hotel.
It is SO easy to travel in Europe.
By Dana
November 16, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this
I’m single, but I always go to my parents’ or my sister and brother-in-law’s house for Thanksgiving. I guess our family is just weird - we actually enjoy spending Thanksgiving together. As far as not being expected to host, I wouldn’t mind if the whole family came to my place…it would save me the hassle of travelling!
By Hunter
November 16, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this
Traveling through Europe is lovely. This year my family is going to spend Christmas in Rome, so that we can attend Mass in Vatican City. As for Thanksgiving, we of course will be having a family dinner at home, complete with all of the traditional foods. Our house staff spends the day preparing the meal, and we actually allow them to invite their own families, should they choose, to have the holiday meal at our home. It is something nice that we do for them during this time of year.
By jmd
November 16, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this
Dang Hunter, I at least give my staff the day off.
By Hunter
November 16, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this
jmd, but then who cooks the food? short of hiring an outside catering service (who still has to work on the holiday), there would be no one to cook — which is why about seven or eight years ago my husband and I started inviting our staff’s family over for the evening. it’s actually quite a load of fun.
By Thankful
November 16, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
Scrooge-Jill, just because you have decided to poo-poo the holiday and not visit family or friends, it doesn’t give you the right to bring the rest of us down into your personal he!!. Jeez, I hope you have fun in your jammies getting drunk and eating PBJ’s. It really is what you deserve.
Me? I’m hosting the entire family and am very excited about it. And no, we don’t talk about food either. We actually have LIVES that we enjoy sharing with one another. AND we enoy one another’s company.
Enjoy Canada! Maybe you’ll find a few others JUST as miserable as yourself there.
Sheesh. What a killjoy.
By This is for 11/17
November 16, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
Wait a minute - I just realized we’re all responding to a topic dated Saturday 11/17. Not that it makes any difference, I’m just saying.
By John in Tampa, FLA
November 16, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this
Sometimes the comebacks are so obvious there is no need to.
By what2do
November 16, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this
You know, i’m single and I really feel that this thanksgiving is going to me more of a hassel than its worth. My mom wants me at her house, my dad wants me at his and lets not even get started aboout what the grandparents want. So yeah, too complicated. I mean really, how fair is it to make someone choose whom they will spend thanksgiving with. Ok…i feel a little better now.
By jmd
November 16, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this
Hunter - I can out cook all my staff. It’s the one time of the year that I do it all myself. I eat the healthy meals they prepare throughout the year and I go all out on unhealthy for that special day.
By Get real
November 16, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this
Hunter: “Who cooks the food?” ummmmmmmmmmm YOU ?!?!? Lazy. Spoiled. Definite entitlement issues.
By nancy
November 16, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this
This year, I am driving to Texas with my boyfriend and dog to spend the day with my favorite (albeit only) aunt and uncle. I told her all I want for Thanksgiving dinner is tamales and Mexican beer. All the typical family togetherness makes me want to poke my eyes out.
By nancy
November 16, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this
This year, I am driving to Texas with my boyfriend and dog to spend the day with my favorite (albeit only) aunt and uncle. I told her all I want for Thanksgiving dinner is tamales and Mexican beer. All the typical family togetherness makes me want to poke my eyes out.
By Mr. Hunter
November 16, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this
Dahling, please get off the Internet and tell the maid to tell the pool boy that we’ll need a bit more chlorine in the water. Seems our little Angel had another accident in the heated pool. Silly child.
Oh, and please have your personal assistant contact my personal assistant so we can confirm our Thanksgiving dinner plans. I believe we should really be on the same page here. I told you I didn’t want the “help” eating with us this year as it’s my year to host the after dinner fox hunt with the lodge boys. I want to bring them to dinner this year.
One more teensy thing: could you have Paolo check the sailing yacht at Lanier? Someone mentioned that it seemed to be landlocked.
Thanks Pookie!
By Brian
November 19, 2007 8:14 AM | Link to this
LADIES:
WE ALL HATE YOUR THANKSGIVING SWEATERS. THEY LOOK AWFUL, BUT WE DO ENJOY MAKING FUN OF YOU FOR WEARING THEM. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND BURN THEM!
By Griffin Girl
November 19, 2007 8:18 AM | Link to this
I’m not single, but my Mom is, having recently lost my Dad after 43 years of marriage. In the old days we had huge Thanksgiving celebrations at our farmhouse, extending our already gigantic boarding-house style dinner table with folding tables to accommodate friends and family. This year, it will be a quiet holiday- just four of us, my husband, daughter and me at our house with Mom. This is a transition into a new era to be sure- four of us this year where we had more than 20 last year. Although it’s easier to prepare a small dinner, I’ll miss all of the hubbub of fixing the big meal to the sound of the Macy’s parade and setting the big table with linens we only see once a year, then, after helping with the clean-up, all of us kids being dismissed to play football or ride bikes outside. It’s a tradition, and I think there’s something to be said for the comfort that tradition brings. Now, we’ll have to start new traditions and I’m sure they will become just as precious as the old ones.