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February 2009
Is Rihanna’s reconciliation a bad example for our teen girls?
People.com is reporting Rihanna has gotten back together with Chris Brown. What is it teaching our teenage daughters?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
According to news reports Rihanna has gotten back together with Chris Brown. According to other sites he has entered an anger management program and has showered her with diamonds to hopefully woo her back. It appears to be working - they are reportedly staying at a home on Miami Beach’s Star Island. Here is our wrap-up on the story.
Despite a report to the contrary, the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office has not ruled out pressing charges against Chris Brown for his alleged violent incident with Rihanna, NBC’s “Access Hollywood” is reporting.
“The case is still under investigation,” a spokesperson said. “Absolutely nothing has changed. The LAPD still has an ongoing investigation and the case hasn’t been handed to the DA’s office yet.”
In the meantime, the New York Daily News is reporting that Chris Brown started anger management classes in Glendale, Calif. this week:
“According to a source, Brown opted for anger management at the behest of his spin doctor, Michael Sitrick. ‘Chris doesn’t actually have to go by law,’ our insider tells us, “but he believes it will make him look better to the public, and he wants to try to get in a few classes before March 5,” his court date.”
The New York Daily News is also reporting that Brown is not wasting any time to win Rihanna back:
“Brown seems to think a few well-placed birthday gifts can salve his ex’s wounds. He has already sent the ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’ singer a diamond bracelet and necklace, an insider tells us, as well as an iPod Touch. Plus, Brown’s mom, Joyce, who is said to adore Rihanna, sent over a bouquet of flowers.”
So how is this drama relevant to your family?
Well, Entertainment Weekly threw out a statistic in a recent article that 1 in 5 teens reports abuse in their romantic relationships.
In the same story EW quoted public-health activist Barbara Glickstein as saying, ”There’s a lot of victim bashing on the blogs. When one in five teens report abuse in their romantic relationship, the message has to be strong. Every person, female and male, has the right to live free of violence.”
Has your daughter ever told you they were mentally or physically abused in a relationship? Would they even recognize it? (I know one friend in particular who took years to understand that her boyfriend was mentally abusive.)
If it is proven that Chris Brown did hurt Rihanna (because it is still alleged — we don’t know exactly what happened) is she setting a bad example for young women getting back together with him? Is it sending the wrong message?
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How much homework help do you give?
How much help with homework and organizing do you give?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I found Rose’s spelling homework folder in the family room the other day. It was probably the third time all year that she had accidentally left her homework at home. The first time I ran the homework to school so she would have it to turn in. I think I took it in the second time too. The third time I let it sit there. I figure she has to learn to repack her homework into her backpack.
I do say to her in the afternoon “Ok it’s time to start homework.” And will check it over just to make sure she got it all done. I also ask her if she has any other assignments that are out of the ordinary.
I generally make sure Walsh has his books and folder in his backpack to return to school, and I’ll remind him to turn them in. He’s pretty good about remembering to give his teacher permission slips and his homework.
How much help with homework or organizing do you give? Do you check over their work? Do you quiz them for tests? Do you pack up their backpacks for them and make sure their library books get turned in on time? Do you run their homework to the school if they’ve forgotten it?
What age do you stop helping them? Does it differ child to child?
When do you let them sink or swim on their own with assignments and organization?
Permalink | Comments (36) | Post your comment | Categories: Education
Octomom and grandma are fighting about the kids; have you fought with your mom?
The Octuplet mom and grandma are duking it out on the Internet and TV. Have you disagreed with your mother about how to rear your children? Which areas did you differ?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Despite best intentions, mothers and their grown daughters are not always going to agree about the best ways to rear children — no two parents are ever the same, especially when generations separate them.
However, the disagreements are not usually done publicly.
Nadya Suleman, the California woman who gave birth to octuplets last month, heatedly argued with her mother in a debate videotaped last week by the web site www.radaronline.com.
The web site posted part of the discussion, which was aired by NBC’s “Today” show on Tuesday. Here’s the full story from Access Atlanta.
“When you already have six beautiful children…..how could you do this?” Nadya Suleman’s mom, Angela Suleman, asks her daughter during the exchange.
Her daughter cuts in the middle of her sentence to say: “You need to learn to let go.” She at one point tells her mother she is “inflexible” and needs to “stop stagnating and being fixated.”
Angela Suleman stresses to her daughter that the embryos were “frozen and you didn’t have to do anything.”
Nadya Suleman responds:“The only thing you can do with embryos is you can use them or destroy them.”
“You want to know how the destroy them?” Nadya Suleman continues. “They allow the cells to live and then they kill them.”
She goes on to add: “I wouldn’t have destroyed those embryos.”
Her mother expresses concern about Nadya’s ability to care for so many children - they total 14. She tells her daughter she could have given them up for adoption.
But Nadya rejects that idea: “I couldn’t even fathom the idea of my own children out in the world … and not know them,” she says.
Of the newborns, the grandmother adds, she felt “sorry for them.”
Nadya replies that there is no reason to feel sorry for the babies, who are “healthy and thriving.”
Have you disagreed with your mother about rearing your kids? What did you disagree about? How was it resolved?
Permalink | Comments (44) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Private school for one, private school for all?
Is it wrong to only send one child to a more expensive, higher achieving school if he is the one who would really benefit?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve been having a discussion with several friends about whether you have to send all your kids to private school if you send one child.
I don’t really have a dog in this fight. I just think it’s an interesting ethical dilemma for parents.
So the basic premise of our discussion is: You have one child who is very bright or maybe even “gifted” who is not being challenged at his school. And you would like to send that child to a private school setting where you feel like he would be more challenged. Do you then have to spend the same amount (often like $18,000) for each sibling to go to the same school?
What if the siblings are doing fine in school? You feel like they are being challenged and are getting along fine socially. Is it wrong to spend more money on one child’s education than the other children? Is it wrong to acknowledge that one child is smarter than the others and needs a different (better) school. (Eventually, that does all shake out. Siblings are divided at colleges based on achievement and also finance.)
On the flip side if you had a child with special needs, I don’t think a parent would think twice about sending that child to a special school that may be more expensive than the school their other children attend. Should above-average intelligence kids be seen like special needs?
How would you explain to the other siblings why one child is going to a special school?
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Would you cross-nurse? Should kids with nits be sent home?
Would you nurse someone else’s baby? Should schools send kids with lice eggs in their hair home? Where do you fall on these dilemmas?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The baby was sick for a week and then I was sick for a week so I missed talking with you guys about some crazy stories! I want to play catch up today and hit two that really jumped out at me.
Up first, the story about Salma Hayek breastfeeding a stranger’s child when visiting Sierra Leone has spawned a lot of discussion about cross-nursing.
Jennifer Bunn, an RN took a closer look at the issue of cross-nursing and wet nurses in a recent article in “News Health Guru.” “Salma has stated that she breastfed a stranger’s baby for two reasons: because the baby was starving, and to raise awareness among African men that breastfeeding is normal and healthy, and need not interfere with a woman’s sexuality.”
Bunn reports that cross-nursing is becoming more popular because it helps mothers share breastfeeding duties.
However, some are concerned about passing diseases in breast milk. Mothers who can’t nurse can get breast milk from milk banks, and the milk is purified before it is sent to other moms.
Bunn reports that “Nadya Suleman’s octuplets are receiving feedings of donated breast milk, and this has not been viewed as strange, likely because there is no visible woman at the end of the milk supply.”
What do you think: Would you share nursing duties with another mother? Would you use milk from a milk bank? Should wet nurses return?
And now onto lice!
The Associated Press reports: “With the backing of some major health organizations, a majority of schools across the country are allowing youngsters to stay in class if they have nits — that is, lice eggs — but no crawling lice in their hair.”
“It’s a change recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Association of School Nurses, and it has been welcomed by many educators and parents, who worried that students were missing too much school, moms and dads were missing work and children were being made to feel ashamed.”
” ‘Nits don’t spread. They don’t jump from one person to another,’ said Amy Garcia, executive director of the National Association of School Nurses. ‘So to withhold a child from school due to nits really interrupts the educational process.’ ”
“About 60% of schools now allow children with nits to stay in class, Garcia said.”
“The pediatrics academy also says that kids who are found to have crawling head lice should be allowed to stay in school for the rest of the day but discouraged from close head contact with others. But not many school districts have gone that far.”
What do you think: Do you think your kid should be allowed to stay in class if they only have nits? Would you want your child in class with a kid with nits? What about full-blown crawling lice?
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How do you help calm kids rattled by severe weather?
One storm down, many more months to go…
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Theresa is beginning to feel better. She will be back on the blog next week! Keith Still is filling in today.
For the first time in 2009 - and a little earlier in the year than usual - severe weather ripped through north Georgia, spawning thunderstorms and tornadoes, downing trees, and scaring the britches off of my children.
Over the years, we have tried to stress to our girls that their personal safety is the only thing they should worry about in emergency situations like tornadoes or a fire. We just want them to get to their safe spot - whether that is out of a burning house or in the basement away from all windows and doors.
If a tornado warning is issued for any part of metro Atlanta, however, the first thing they do is start packing their belongings. The entire family has packed less for a two-week vacation than our kids have packed for a potential tornado emergency. Whenever they start bringing down bags of stuffed animals, I remind them that “stuff” can be replaced and tell them we’re not taking all of that into the basement. If the threat isn’t imminent, I try to distract them with a game. If the weather turns severe overnight, we break out the sleeping bags and let them “camp” where it’s safe.
My kids didn’t pack anything on Wednesday evening, mainly because they didn’t hear any warnings until the storm cell was almost upon us. I noticed the wind picking up, turned on the TV and saw we were in the immediate path. I told the girls to go on to the basement. They had enough time to grab our new puppy. The power went off as we descended the stairwell, and the unexpected darkness frightened them. My five-year-old cried the entire time, shaking with panic that the house was going to be destroyed, that Daddy wasn’t home and that all of her stuffed animals could be gone in an instant.
Throughout our short 10-15 minute basement exile, I could tell how nervous even the older kids were. I spoke calmly, reminded them they’re exactly where they should be in a situation like this and told them that we would all be fine.
Within minutes, the sky was clearing, and we went back upstairs. We were fortunate. The wind blew a couple of small limbs down in our yard, and we lost power for about half an hour.
With the first storm of the year behind them, my kids just wanted the power to stay off long enough for us to dine by candlelight. (Even though the lights were back on by supper, we still lit the eight candles they had put on the dinner table.) Now, we just have to get through March, April, May, June….
How well do your children handle severe storms? What do you do to help them cope? How do you make them appreciate that their safety is really the only important thing in emergency situations? Do you practice emergency escape drills or tornado drills to better prepare your family for the real thing?
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Have you talked to your child about teen sex…ting?
Are underaged kids who send explicit photos or texts to peers technically guilty of child pornography?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Theresa is still out sick. Keith Still is filling in today and tomorrow.
Over the weekend, the AJC’s Phil Kloer and Helena Oliviero authored an article that discussed how online threats to teens come more often from their peers than predatory strangers. “Sexting” is a cute word for one of those threats, where kids text sexually-explicit messages and photos to each other.
As disconcerting as it is to imagine our kids engaging in racy or raunchy sex talk by cell phone, about one in five have done some form of sexting. About 20 percent of teens have also sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves over their mobiles. The technological advance of the camera phone, the built-in distance of a text message and the ubiquitous nature of cell phones may make it easier (or more comfortable) for teens to explore sex topics earlier or in more advanced ways than their parents did.
In reality, teens have been searching for new and exciting ways to explore the verboten issue of sex since the first adolescents rolled their eyes at their parents. I understand teens think about sex, and I’m sure I would be disturbed by some of the thoughts they’re thinking. What’s even more disturbing is the potential danger presented by their method of sharing those thoughts.
As adults, we understand that nothing posted online is truly “private”. You email someone, comment on a blog or post a photo on Facebook, and it’s out there. You can take the photo down or delete the email, but you can never completely erase that image or message from cyberspace. We have all heard stories or know first-hand how those things can come back to haunt people in their personal and public lives.
Not only might teens be unaware their sex texts and indecent photos could be seen by countless people without their consent, but kids who send and receive those photos could technically be charged with possessing or distributing child pornography under some state laws. Whether or not you agree that this is truly child porn, these teens could still be looking at a felony charge. If caught, prosecuted and convicted, “sexters” could end up in prison, on a sex offender registry and possibly unable to live near a church, day care or their own bus stop.
Have you talked to your texting teens about the dangers of sex messaging? Are you more concerned about possible legal ramifications of these electronic communications or the fact that your kids are saying what they’re saying/sending what they’re sending in the first place? Are your children concerned about their online/electronic privacy? Would you check your child’s phone for evidence of sexting?
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Is home school a good option for middle school?
Many people home school for many different reasons. I’m on the fence as my oldest daughter finishes 5th grade.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
After a week of caring for her sick family, Theresa has fallen ill with the flu herself. Keith Still will be blogging for her today, Thursday and Friday. Feel better soon Theresa!
As my eldest daughter approaches the end of her elementary school years, I am seriously contemplating something I never thought I would consider - homeschooling.
We chose to move to our neighborhood eight years ago in part because we liked the schools our children would attend here. I have always loved our public school. Honestly, my children have never had a bad - or even mediocre - instructor. In fact, my eleven year old has adored all of her teachers, and she has formed a tight group of good friends over the years. My friends with older children all agree that our middle school is top drawer as well.
I do not think I am a glutton for punishment, and there are several things I would like to finally get around to doing next year when my youngest also heads off to school.
So WHY can’t I stop thinking about homeschooling? Academically, my daughter has always been grade levels ahead of her age. Every year, we work with the teachers to find ways to enrich the regular class curriculum to keep her interested and moving forward.
In the back of my head, I guess I have been wondering for a while if the school and/or we are challenging her enough. Is she just skating through? Is that okay in the elementary years? What about in middle school? Are the social lessons learned in school as important (or more) as academics at this age?
I have to admit that I was inclined to explore private school options first. That would, I hoped, give her access to a more challenging program of study without removing her from the social structure schools provide. Then I looked at tuition for private middle schools (and high schools) nearby. I considered my younger daughters, who show signs of following in their older sister’s footsteps. I quickly totted up private tuition for three; considered the economy and our family budget at this time; and sat down before I fainted.
That’s when homeschooling entered the picture. It was a fleeting thought at first, but it’s now beginning to grow on me. I like the idea of choosing a curriculum that fits my daughter’s individual needs — one that would allow her to progress as fast as she would like and explore additional subjects. I know we would have to work hard to keep up her friendships with the girls in her “group” from elementary school, and I’m certain we would need to find some extracurricular activities to give her other social outlets as well.
I am nowhere near a final decision on the matter, so I’m not sure where she will be when 6th grade rolls around. Pulling her from school seems like such a huge step. I wonder if the middle school years are the right time - or the absolute worst time - to try homeschooling? What are the social ramifications? Do kids, especially girls, benefit from missing out on much of that middle school “mean girl” syndrome - or are they better at the end for having successfully navigated it?
What if we get to a point in a few years where she wants or needs to return to a formal school setting? From what I’ve read, re-enrolling in public school isn’t that difficult; but is it difficult for a homeschooled child to be admitted into a private school?
Have any of you tried home school? Was the transition from one type of school to another a difficult one for your student? Is there a good (or better) time in a child’s academic career to explore the home school option? Did you get to a point where the curriculum was beyond the scope of either your background or your means at home and you placed your child back in school? Any advice - pros and cons - that you want to share on the idea of home school - especially the older grades?
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Vomiting, diarrhea hit our baby hard for whole week
Two trips to the doctor and two trips to the ER, and she finally seems a little bit better.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It was supposed to be a week filled with heart-shaped confections, dress-up parties at school and a jumping party with our little buddies during the weekend. Instead we spent the entire week nursing a very unhappy, very sick baby with severe vomiting and diarrhea.
Everything was fine with our 23-month-old angel early in the week. She seemed perfectly healthy and playful Monday. We went to Toddlersize at the YMCA and followed her big sister to Girl Scouts, playing on the playground during the meeting.
The nightmare started, not surprisingly, in the middle of the night. The 5-year-old had wandered into our bed around 3:30 a.m. A few minutes later, the baby started crying.
Michael brought her into our bed to comfort her. Around 4 a.m., I awoke to the terrible sound of the baby gagging. She had never vomited before.
I quickly got my hand under her mouth and caught the first of the vomit. I yelled for Michael to get Walsh out of bed while I rushed the baby to the bathroom.
Michael tucked Walsh back into his bed and then thought to ask him, “You didn’t get any throw-up on your pajamas did you Buddy?”
“No,” Walsh answered calmly.
“Good,” said Dad, about to walk away.
“I did get a bunch on my head though,” Walsh clarified.
Michael bathed Walsh in one bathroom while I bathed the baby in another. I redressed her and tried to settle her back down. We put as many sheets, pillowcases and pajamas into the washer as we could, and tried to get some more rest.
But the vomiting continued. I called the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta Nurse line to see if I should let her have water. I didn’t want her to get dehydrated but I felt like the water was making her throw up. After two more baths and five more vomiting fits, I finally got a call back from nurse. I told her the baby was throwing up bile. She said to take her immediately to the emergency room.
My dad came at 5:30 a.m. to drive me and the baby the hospital. Michael had to get the other kids ready for school, and I didn’t want to be in the front seat if she was throwing up in the back. She threw up two more times the short distance to Emory Eastside.
The ER staff took us immediately. They gave her a drug used for cancer patients to stop the vomiting and nausea. They made sure she could keep down fluid and sent us home.
By noon the diarrhea started. My oldest daughter had the Rotavirus, so I have dealt with massive amount of diarrhea before. I don’t minding cleaning or changing it, but the worst part is their little bottoms get so torn up from the acidic poop even if you change them immediately and use lots of thick creams. Baby Lilina would yell at me “I’m fine. I’m fine” when I would check her diaper trying to ward off the changing. And then when I had to change her she’d yell “Nooo. Go away! Go away!” Fairly heartbreaking to hear.
I consulted with the doctor’s office two times that day. I slept on her floor that night (and every night after) so I would hear her throw up or poop and change her immediately. She had 9 diaper changes from midnight to 8 a.m. Needless to say we headed to the pediatrician’s first thing in the morning.
The deal with diarrhea is now doctors have decided it’s better for them to run it out of their system, even though their little bottoms are on fire. So they don’t want to give the babies Imodium but our doctor did prescribe a cholesterol medicine with a side effect to coagulate poop so her diapers would be less runny. He also gave me a prescription yeast cream.
She hates the cholesterol medicine, which is a gritty powder that you mix with water. I’ve had to feed it to her with a teaspoon dropper with her fighting me the entire time. It’s only 2 fl. Oz. but that makes a lot of teaspoons.
By Wednesday afternoon things were not looking good and I started finding back-ups for all my commitments. I found another mom to fill in for me at Walsh’s party and sent out the last-minute list for what we still needed to do. I wrote to Rose’s room mom and told her I couldn’t help with her party. I sent out a note searching for someone to lead children’s church on Sunday and eventually even had to cancel the jump party for my other kids. I was alerted by a close girlfriend “even if the big kids aren’t sick, we’re still afraid of your whole family.”
By Friday her bottom looked like it was about to be an open wound and the poop had not abated. We headed back to the doctor. He was concerned that it was lasting so long and was also worried about her bottom. He put her on a sulfur antibiotic, which would help heal her bottom as well as treat a bacterial infection like E. coli or Salmonella. He also told us to use anti-biotic cream twice a day on her bottom.
Saturday her bottom looked better and poop seemed to be slowing some. She was eating and drinking water, but she was very lethargic. She didn’t want to play at all and was very limp in my arms. I called the pediatrician. He said it sounded like since I was just giving her water she needed electrolytes. (The severe condition of this is water intoxication, which totally freaked me out.) I got her to eat two bananas and some sports drinks. It perked her up a little bit but not much. We were scared to let her go to sleep not knowing so we headed to the pediatric ER at Emory Eastside. Again, they saw her right away. He thought was a little dehydrated and needed the electrolytes. He also prescribed an antibiotic cream with steroids in it to help heal her bottom.
Throughout this entire week, all I keep thinking about is how blessed we are to live in a country that has medicine to help babies through these types of trauma. All over the world in less developed nations, babies would often die from what we experienced this week. I am grateful that my baby girl will feel better soon.
Have you ever had to deal with the Rotavirus, stomach virus or other type of bacterial infection that causes severe diarrhea and vomiting? What are your best tips to help moms through these tough times?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com
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Who is too young for ‘Twilight’ series?
Pop culture tends to trickle down, but how young is too young for the popular vampire love series?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Editor’s Note: I’m giving away one plot point that seems like it would be an obvious one but might not be to some people.
My babysitters are all reading the “Twilight” vampire love book series, and now my friend’s fifth grader is begging to read it too.
The friend previewed the book to see if it would be OK. She said there was some kissing and some building sexual tension. She felt like it was still appropriate for her daughter. (Her daughter is an amazing reader who is always searching for new books. They have a hard time finding books that are long enough and age appropriate.)
She said the one item that bothered her the most in the book, which she did discuss with her daughter, was that the character thought she was so in love she wanted to give up her humanity to be with the vampire boy.
Now my friend has to preview the other books in the series.
What ages are you letting read the “Twilight” series? What if anything did you find offensive for younger readers? Is there more intense violence, sexual or ethical content in the later books? Is it less appropriate than many of the Judy Blume books we were reading in fifth grade and middle school? (The period book, the masturbation book, the guy watching his neighbor book.) Is the trickle-down effect of pop culture a problem?
There are other pop culture vampires on the scene. Check out this gallery of other blood suckers.
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Strep, stomach viruses — what’s going around your neighborhood?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hey Guys — My baby is very sick so I’m going to keep this super short. We had to take her to the ER yesterday morning with severe vomiting. By the afternoon we were into the severe diarrhea phase. We had a terrible night. I slept on her floor to listen for vomiting and pooping. We had 10 diaper changes from midnight to 8 a.m. We got up and immediately went to the pediatrician. She’s dehydrated despite constant effort to get her to drink. We’re trying out two new medicines along with the anti-vomiting drug.
I’m hearing from a lot of friends that tons of kids are sick at school. I’m hearing about high fevers with no other symptoms that last a week. I’m hearing about lots of strep. I’m also hearing about a lot of stomach viruses.
What are you seeing at your school and preschool? What have your kids had recently and how long did it last?
I’m hoping she’ll be much better by tomorrow morning. If not, the pediatrician said she may have to go to the hospital. Let’s pray the new meds work!!
I’ll try to check back in but I’m not sure how we’ll be! Plus, we’ve got early release today!
Permalink | Comments (25) | Post your comment | Categories: Health
What do wives really want for Valentine’s Day?
One of our regulars thinks her husband could use a little help on his ideas. Could your husband?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
One of our regular contributors thinks her husband needs a shot in the arm (or a kick in the head) of creativity for Valentine’s Day. She’s hopes we can offer him some brilliant ideas to please his lovely bride!
Here are some ideas that I would enjoy any time of year. They range in price from free to a little more expensive:
Cut flowers from the DeKalb Farmer’s Market - In past years they’ve had a dozen roses for around $12.
A book for me picked out by my husband. Nothing pleases me more than when he returns from the used book store or library with books chosen just for me.
One piece of rich chocolate cake that I do not have to share. (Clearly eaten after the kids go to bed!)
Taking the children out of the house so I can be alone in the house.
The husband booking the babysitter. Husbands come up with great ideas for places to go to eat but then you’re left having to track down a babysitter. One of my friend’s husbands hired the babysitter one time and we both thought that was the nicest thing ever!
Brunch and a walk in a park or a walk around a botanical garden.
A visit to the High Museum (without kids).
Dancing lessons - like the rumba or swing. Several lessons where you could actually look good together.
So now it’s your turn. Share your best Valentine’s Day ideas so this poor husband will have a thoughtful gift for his wife!
Permalink | Comments (56) | Post your comment | Categories: Battles between Mom and Dad
Losing school nurses would hurt learning in the classrooms
As Georgia legislators consider whether to cut funding for our school nurses, I want them to understand the volume and variety of illnesses our school nurses face and how much good they do each day.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
325.
That is the average number of kids our school nurse sees in a week.
That would also be the average number of times teachers would be interrupted from their lessons to care for sick children (possibly incorrectly) if the Georgia legislature votes to eliminate funding for our school nurse and others like her across the state.
Our school nurse is a registered nurse and has been at our school for 21 years. She is absolutely essential to running it! Every time I’m in the front office, which is often, I am amazed at the volume and variety of illnesses with which she is dealing.
She told me she sees students with Diabetes, seizure disorders, ADHD, food allergies which require Epipens, Ectodermal Dysplasia (an inability to perspire), GERD, heart problems, rickets, sickle cell anemia, IBS, kidney problems, false eyes, 135 cases of asthma that often require treatment with a nebulizer or inhaler, Juvenile Arthritis, cancer and hemophilia. And of course there are your every day head lice, hygiene, broken bones, random vomiting and fevers.
I’m pretty sure most of our state legislators would have no idea how cool down a child who couldn’t perspire or help a hemophiliac child who has cut himself on the playground. And I don’t think our teachers, clinic staff or parents who have no medical training should be asked to deal with these types of medical issues either. If the state insists on untrained or minimally trained personnel caring for students’ medical needs, eventually it will get sued or worse a child could die.
A friend of mine received an email from our school nurse recently. It said I think your daughter may have a kidney infection. She wrote based on where her back and stomach are hurting, the way she is walking and the fact that it hurts when she urinates, I think she has a kidney infection.
My friend took her daughter to the doctor immediately and guess what? She did have a kidney infection.
This same little girl was having repeated stomach aches at school. Our nurse felt like it was anxiety over doing well. The nurse reassured the child and worked with her mother to help her relax her and keep her at school. The stomach aches have subsided.
Our nurse says that sometimes when kids visit her they may not be medically ill but they’re coming to her for a reason. They need something - reassurance, support, sometimes just a hug. She notes when kids come in frequently and involves administrators or counselors if she thinks there’s something more at play.
Another mom I know was having a terrible time figuring out her daughter’s severe asthma and allergy issues. Her daughter had missed 20 days of school in kindergarten. My friend was unsure when her daughter was OK to send to school. The pediatrician and his pamphlets just kept saying if she didn’t have a fever she was good to go. But my friend wasn’t so sure. Her daughter was exhausted and felt terrible often. Our school nurse offered to review the child’s symptoms with the mom in the morning to help her evaluate whether she should attend school that day. Consulting with the school nurse helped my friend feel more confident about sending her child and also helped her become a better judge of her daughter’s condition. This year, her daughter has only missed one day.
I’ve been lucky so far. The worst thing I’ve been called in for was my oldest daughter throwing up repeatedly. When I got to the school, the nurse had cleaned her up and re-dressed her in the school’s emergency sweats. Our nurse took one look at me, my brand new baby and 4-year-old and knew some counseling was needed.
She gave me the full run-down on how to keep from contaminating my nursing baby with Rose’s nasty stomach virus. She also gave me advice on how long to wait to feed Rose, how to keep her hydrated and how to know if I needed to call the doctor. Finally, she sent me home with some latex gloves since she knew I couldn’t stop at a drug store with a child vomiting every few minutes.
I was grateful for all the advice and especially for the gloves. They did prevent me passing the virus to my other children - which every mother knows is a miracle!
I feel safe sending my child to school because I know our school nurse is there. I know if there is a problem it will be handled correctly until I can get my child to our pediatrician.
A friend points out that the school districts or even parents could pay to keep the school nurses if the state does away with their funding, and we may very well have to do that.
I know that our country and our state are in economic straits but I think this is NOT the right cut to make. I would implore Georgia legislators to search for fat elsewhere in the state budget before they cut an essential part of our schools. They should know that learning would absolutely be affected by losing our school nurses!
You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas and comments are welcome.
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Do you give your kids Valentine’s Day presents?
Is the holiday only for lovers or does parent and grandparent love count too? What do you normally give your kids? How much do you spend on the holiday?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I recently asked my husband, “Did your parents give you and your brother presents for Valentine’s Day?”
He nearly flipped out. “Are you kidding? They gave us food and clothing and shelter. No they didn’t give us present on a made-up holiday!”
My parents on the other hand always gave us sweet little presents every Valentine’s Day. The presents were never extravagant - mostly chocolates or stuffed animals. My mom always had them packaged very festively and waiting for us at the breakfast table. It always started our day off so nicely!
I guess that’s why I always pick up little items for my kids. I got the baby a Valentine’s Day Mrs. Potato Head and a little stuffed doggy with pink ears. I got Walsh eyeballs you can eat and a heart-shaped tin of candy decorated like a basketball. I found Rosie some High School Musical candy, some little dolls that look like Cupid and a fancy writing pen with feathers on the top. (I may have another item for Walsh in my bag but I’m not remembering it.)
I think it’s nice to give the kids little presents just to say I love you! (Before I get yelled at let me add that I tell my kids EVERY single day that I love them. This is just extra fun stuff.)
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your kids or is it just for lovers? How do you celebrate with your kids?
See as others metro Atlantans share and show their love.
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Inline Promo Box
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
DAD VENT
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How old and what are the rules for Spring Break trip with friends?
Are your teens taking a Spring Break trip unsupervised? What are your rules for the trip?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I got a note from one of our regulars who is already getting harangued by her high-school senior (now 18) daughter to take a Spring Break trip this year.
I’m not sure if I was allowed to identify her, so I won’t, but here is what she emailed me:
“I would like to see if you could do a blog on parents letting their high-school-aged kids (mostly seniors) go on spring break with their friends.”
“My daughter turned 18, and is planning a trip to PCB with her friends for Spring Break. I’m OK with it, as I think it is a ‘rite of passage.’ But I would like to hear from other parents who have done this or are considering it.”
“Spring Break is right around the corner.”
I recently saw on Facebook some Spring Break pictures of a friend of a friend from the late 1980s. These were the cool kids in high school (not a crowd I hung with), and I was pretty surprised by the photos. They apparently took some kind of cruise and everyone clearly had alcohol in their hands in almost every photo. (Michael said they could drink underage on the open ocean?? Is that still true?) The bikinis were teeny-tiny and the girls looked drunk. (And that is a bad combination!)
We all know that I am officially a Nervous Nellie but I don’t think there is any way any of my kids are going on high school Spring Break trips just with their friends. There are just way too many things that can go wrong.
When they’re in college and out from under my roof, I probably won’t have a say - they could leave the campus any time without my knowledge. But in high school, no way! (No judgments on the mom who wrote in — I’m just a chicken!)
Plus that Natalee Holloway story just haunts me!
So what do you think: Do you let your teens go alone on Spring Break with their friends? What age do they get to go? How far away do they get to go? Would a cruise scare you more or less than just a beach trip? (They can’t get drunk and drive but they can fall overboard.)
Permalink | Comments (74) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Teens more likely harassed by other teens, not strangers, online
A new study says strangers aren’t the biggest danger to teens online - other teen are!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A new study says that adults preying on children via the Internet is not nearly as widespread as teens hitting on their fellow teens.
It can take many forms — from flirting to sexual solicitation to outright harassment — but chances are if you have a teen, it’s coming from her (usually her) classmates and people roughly her own age.
Another interesting conclusion from the report, which is based on more than 400 studies and surveys: Having a Facebook or Myspace account doesn’t put teens in more danger of going off with a predator.
AJC reporter Helena Oliviero is doing a story on this and would really like to talk to a parent and teen about what they encounter online. We will make sure the parent is comfortable with what we’re writing about the teen, we promise. But it will help make the story much stronger to use a real person or two in it.
If you want to talk about it, no obligation, call Helena at 404-526-7738.
So what do you make of all this? Have we been too quick to fear Facebook? Has your teen been harassed by other teens online - through IMs, emails or on Web sites? Would they talk to you about it if they were? What can you do to stop or prevent the harassment?
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How safe are your kids crossing to get to school or to the bus?
Do crossing guards help? How else can we protect children while crossing?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A 7-year-old boy was struck by an SUV and killed Monday morning as he walked in a crosswalk to school. There was a crossing guard with a stop sign in the crosswalk, DeKalb police said. (Here’s the full story from our AJC staff writers.)
The police spokeswoman said that other vehicles had stopped for the crossing guard while the child tried to walk across South Deshon Road, south of Stone Mountain, “but for reasons unknown the SUV driver did not stop.”
The woman driving the SUV will be charged with vehicular homicide and other offenses, said the police spokeswoman.
My kids ride a bus to school, but I am super paranoid about them crossing the street each morning and afternoon to get to the bus. Just the other day a car sped up in our neighborhood to pass the bus before it put out its little stop sign. My husband thinks it’s unnecessary, but I always stand at the bus stop and watch for cars while they cross.
We don’t have all the details on the accident so we don’t know what was going on in the SUV at the time of the accident, but I know it is very hard to see when I am backing in my minivan. Just the other day I was leaving a friend’s house and I knew there were children running around. I rolled down my window and yelled to the mothers outside “Are there any children behind me? Please check!” One of my greatest fears is hitting a child because they are so low down that you CANNOT see them.
Children also have to be taught how to cross safely. Our bus drivers do a pretty good job of reinforcing the skill of looking both ways before they cross.
What do you think: Is your child safe crossing to get to school? Do you cross with them - even just to the bus? Do you feel the need to stand at the bus stop with them even if it’s close to your house? Do you think crossing guards are effective or is there a better way to help protect kids while they are crossing?
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Kids offered more multiplayer games online, but are they safe?
‘FusionFall’ is the latest Massively Multiplayer Online game, but what should you know before your kids play online games with others?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The next time your child logs on to Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel to play a few games, he may not be playing alone.
There is a new push to create “online playgrounds” where kids play together online - just like adults have done for years. The games are called Massively Multiplayer Online games or MMO’s for short, and whether parents like it or not that is the direction many commercial online sites for kids are heading.
Adults have played community computer games like “World of Warcraft” and console multiplayer games like “Halo” for years. But children are not as well prepared to communicate online, and they might not know how to protect themselves as adults do. So the challenge for these sites is to create community game that is fun, but also keeps kids safe.
Disney offers several MMOs. You may have seen your children decorating Penguin igloos on “Club Penguin” or creating Pixies in “Pixie Hollow.” Nickelodeon offers “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Launched officially Jan. 14 by Cartoon Network, “FusionFall” is the latest MMO added by a major Web site for kids. It is aimed at children 8 to 12, although my 5-year-old wants to play.
I knew my husband had set my son up to play this “FusionFall” a few weeks ago but I didn’t realize he was playing with other people. I walked by one afternoon and saw Id’s from other players with chat windows popping up on his screen. I freaked out and told him he couldn’t play the game anymore until I investigated it more. (Michael says he knew it was an MMO but wasn’t worried about it.)
Earlier this week, I talked with Chris Waldron, the executive producer of FusionFall, about online gaming and what Cartoon Network is doing to protect kids in this virtual world.
A longtime gamer but also a dad to a 4-year-old son, Waldron understood my concerns and did a good job allaying many of my fears.
Waldron explained they have built in layers of protection to the play. Parents will set up a master account where they control the settings for their kids. Kids who are playing for free (there are about eight hours of game play on the free level at this point) can ONLY use pre-scripted chat from a menu forming basic questions or giving praise. That means the children can only choose from a small selection of conversation starters, such as “This mission is hard.” or “Let’s get another buddy.”
Parents can choose to pay a monthly fee of $5.95, which will allow their child to access more parts of the game and also access to chat live without using scripts.
An account marked to chat live cannot chat with a non-live chat person.
Waldron says all of the game play and interaction is being constantly monitored by filtering computers and live people. Cartoon Network has hired a company in England whose only job is to monitor and look for potential threats to the kids.
The computer filters for curse words and searches for phrases that could be an adult trying to “groom” a child. If anything is questionable it alerts live employees to intervene. Live employees are also monitoring independently of the computer.
Waldron says so far they’ve only had false alarms with the phrase “What are you wearing?” The online characters can wear different crazy masks, shoes and costumes, and the players are asking their friends about their uniforms, but the computer thinks it could be an adult coming on to them.
I asked Waldron why game makers feel kids should even be playing together online.
Waldron explains it’s like going to Six Flags or a movie theater. You can have fun by yourself, but it’s more fun as a shared experience with everyone else.
“It’s to make the game world feel like more than just a game. It’s a virtual world for you as a kids to show off your accomplishments,” says Waldron. The kids collect clothes and characters, and the best players show up (just their online name) on a leaderboard.
Waldron also pointed out that the game is designed to be played in 30-minute sessions. The game begins to reduce targets and make it less fun for the kids if they stay on longer.
Waldron says they built the game hoping families would play together. Mom or Dad can log on from work or business trips and play a quick session with their kids.
I guess MMOs are not inherently bad, but I think they require a lot more investigating before allowing a child under 16 or 17 to play. Picking a MMO for your child to play is like picking a restaurant for sushi, you have to choose very carefully!
Since my son has started playing this game, I have been holding him in my lap reading him what pre-scripted things people are saying (He can read but it pops up fast and in small print.), and helping him figure out what he’s doing. It’s something he’s really excited to share with me, and he’s working on reading faster. I’ll let him play in short bursts, but I don’t think we’ll be paying the extra monthly fee.
What do you think: With these types of protective measures in place is it safe for kids to play online with other people? Would you let your child play this game or the Disney games like it?
Here are Web sites to help you evaluate and understand Massively Multiplayer Online video games.
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas and comments are welcome.
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Resources to help you evaluate MMO video games
Some sites and stats that can help you as a parent evaluate Massively Multiplayer Online video games.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Here are some sites to help you explore the content and safety of these new Massively Multiplayer online video games:
“Avatar: The Last Airbender” safety rules.
Also some online gaming stats to think about as reported for the AJC by Bill Hendrick recently:
34 percent of American children and teens who use the Internet visited a virtual world at least once a month in 2008. That’s expected to rise to 42 percent in 2009.
71 percent of digital kids feel their virtual worlds are very important to them.
13 percent of adults say their children are spending less time with real friends and more with virtual ones
75 percent of youngsters said in a survey that they use the Internet to participate in communities tied to social causes.
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