MOMania

By DB

February 26, 2009 7:53 AM | Link to this

Elementary school is the time where these organizational skills are taught. And, happily, it’s the best time for a child to really feel the consequences of not being organized without it having detrimental effects on a GPA — IF parents will allow them to feel it! The best thing I ever did for my son was to not continually remind him about a book report in 2nd grade. He put it off, put it off, put it off, and finally, the night before it was due, announced, 10 minutes before bedtime, that “He had to do a book report!”. Over the previous two weeks, I had reminded him twice, and he had shrugged it off. So I shrugged off his announcement and said, “Oh, that’s too bad, honey, because it’s bedtime now, and you don’t have time.” He was indignant and then panicked when he realized he was going to school empty-handed the next day. “What am I going to tell my teacher?! It’s all your fault!” To which I laughed and replied, “No, the teacher didn’t assign ME a book report, dear. And I guess you’ll just have to tell her the truth — you didn’t do it.” The humiliation of that zero was a powerful impetus, and a lasting cure for terminal procrastination. I never had to remind him about a homework assignment ever again - which was very nice, when they hit middle school!

I NEVER packed their backpacks for them — that was their job. I did make sure, however, that they had time to do it, and we had routines that helped, i.e., backpacks had to be packed and ready to go by the back door before bathtime. By middle school, you should be down to knowing what the assignments are because of what your kids tell you over supper, as part of “how was your day?”, and by high school, I had NO idea what their homework was, except in a general way. I only quizzed them for tests if they asked me to in middle and high school. If they needed homework help, I’d nudge them in the right direction, but I NEVER did their homework for them (much to my daughter’s chagrin, who confided that a friend of her’s mother did her math for her because it was “too hard” and took up “too much time.”) Because school is 10 miles away, there was no “running the homework over” if they forgot it. If they forgot it, too bad. (However, in high school, I will confess to emailing assignments that were done, but for some reason or other, the email didn’t go through the night before.)

It always amused me in high school when parents would moan and groan and fret over tests — and would literally phrase it such as “WE have a math test tomorrow …” Taking ownership of the child’s problems and responsibilities doesn’t do the child any favors — and deprives the child of the feeling of competence that comes with being able to deal with life’s little challenges.

By Meme

February 26, 2009 7:55 AM | Link to this

As a teacher for over 35 years, I can tell you that some parents do all their kids homework.

By ...and some

February 26, 2009 8:09 AM | Link to this

… parents keep doing their kids homework even after they get to UGA - but I won’t mention names!

By JJ

February 26, 2009 8:14 AM | Link to this

Unfortunately, the last several topics don’t concern me anymore. These topics are for people with younger kids.

Have fun!!! And be nice.

JJ out!

By DL

February 26, 2009 8:21 AM | Link to this

Doing homework for my kids? No — I tell them I have already passed “6th” grade…..

Quizzing? If they ask, I will, if I don’t have to make up the questions…

Taking something forgotten to school? I give one free pass per school year……it’s usually used up by the 1st month of school…..

They have learned to pace themselves on projects, papers, and reports….consequences are the best teachers!!

By motherjanegoose

February 26, 2009 8:22 AM | Link to this

DB…great points that I agree with completely!

Meme …yep we all know it to be true. I know a someone whose mother wrote a college paper for him ( he is 21) and she was mad the HE got a B. Can you believe it?

Parents MUST check their child’s bookbag the first few years of school for notes and such from the teacher. We hear it all the time: ” I did not know a thing about_. ” Yet, there is a crumpled note that has been rolling around in the bookbag for weeks.

When my daughter was in 4th grade, her teacher told all the parents at open house, ” If your child leaves his/her homework home and you run it up to the school for them, they will automatically get ten points taken off of their grade ( on this paper) and each time after, another ten points. Your child will not learn to be responsible if you bale ( sp?)them out. ” My husband said to me, “whew…she sounds like you!”

I rarely helped my kids with their homework once they hit 3rd grade and I never organized their things. I am a good organizer but this is not passed on by genetics…they have to learn how to do it themselves. I know how to ride a bike but my children had to fall off a bike a few times before they got the hang of it.

I will call out questions to help with test or quiz studying but this is not very often. My husband cannot,as he falls asleep while they are studying.

My daughter has a dear friend in high school whose mother is very involved with her homework. The daughter gets quite upset when the mom is ( not often) away on a business or personal trip. I fear for this child when she goes to college in 18 months.

As most readers know, I travel a good bit and this girl would fall apart if she lived here. My daughter is very independent and sets her own alarm clock, even though her father or I am here.

This is another topic…high schoolers need to start getting themselves out of bed! My son had to set an alarm to wake his roommate up at college until I asked him to stop.

PROJECTS….THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY….you can really tell which elementary schoolers did their own projects and which ones were done by the parents….yikes!

Once a teacher told me that a First Grader turned in an assignment in the neatest cursive handwriting. When she saw the Mother she said, “Did you teach _ to write in cursive, because we have not learned it yet and his cursive is so much neater than his printing.” LOL…WHO did the homework?

By Theresa

February 26, 2009 8:31 AM | Link to this

Heehee — his cursive is neater than his printing — heehee!

By ebaby

February 26, 2009 8:53 AM | Link to this

Great topic. Theresa, you definitely help me think about stuff that I will be facing in a few years.

My parents never helped me with homework. I would go to my older siblings for help if I needed it. I still remember going through stressful moments when I had left something at home. So being on my own in this respect really had an impact on me and has made me always be prepared for meetings, etc.

I hope I remember this when my kids reach the age. I dont think I would ever DO their homework, but I see myself checking their test/quiz calendars, etc. to make sure they are prepared.

By JJ

February 26, 2009 9:09 AM | Link to this

Ok, I have to comment.

I personally feel homework is NOT necessary and the kids get WAY too much of it, especially in elementary school. I don’t think they should be graded on homework.

I feel school work should be done at school. The only reason there should be homework, is if something was not finished in class.

But to give these kids 2 hours of home work every night is, in my opinion, too much for a small child.

Yes they have to learn, but there are other ways to learn, then sitting at the dining room table for 2 hours every night.

By FCM

February 26, 2009 9:34 AM | Link to this

How much help with homework or organizing do you give? In general. I do not do more than check the daily homework. If they have questions, I will walk them through the steps to help them see how to do it. Projects are another story.Do you check over their work? Absolutely. Also when Thursday Junk Mail (Flyers) and Bills (Grades) come home we go over the questions missed in the graded work. They use marker to change the answer and we discuss why this answer or that is was the best. Do you quiz them for tests? Depends on the test. I have a natural born speller—-not sure how as I cannot spell—so when we run the list on Tuesday if they get them right we don’t do it again. If they have some challenges in the list we work on those. Similar with Math. We Read the assigned work on Tuesday night and talk about what might be asked on the test in Reading. If there are flash cards or something we run through those daily on the drive to and from school.” Do you pack up their backpacks for them and make sure their library books get turned in on time? Absolutely not! Getting their stuff to school is their problem. I unpack and repack on Thrusday only…and then only the part that pertains to me (ie the Junk Mail Folder). They are responsible for snacks, agenda, homework, & books. I will watch them put signed papers (early release notes) in their packs. One teacher annoyed me saying that I should look for the agenda as the kid didn’t bring it for days. I told her that the child could look for it and I would see the child did look for it but that it was not my Agenda. It was in the floorboard of the car under the child’s seat.Do you run their homework to the school if they’ve forgotten it? NO!!!!!! In fact the school greatly discourages this.

What age do you stop helping them? Each grade level brings its own (packing)responsibilities. Kindergarten was folder and snack. 1st grade folder, snack, and Agenda. 2nd grade was folder, snack, Agenda, & homework. 3rd is the previous plus books. and Does it differ child to child? Somewhat. The basics are the same but since one child needs quizzing more on spelling than the other than yes, I do quiz one more, etc.

A word on Projects. MJG I agree with you that some projects look like the parent did them. As my children progess through the year, I get more hands off on them. However, when I do a BIG project at work I seldom have to go it alone. There is a PM, a BA who writes/checks the requirements, a Dev person who creates the project, a QA who tests it. Well at home, I am PM. I oversee the whole project. I make sure it meets the requirements of the the BA (grade’s academic person), and that it is done correctly before giving to the client (the teacher). I may advise/guide and help tweak the project. I help organize the project too. There is NOTHING wrong with that as that IS what will happen in the ‘real world.’ I think parents who do this are helping the children BETTER than parents who make them go it alone.

When do you let them sink or swim on their own with assignments and organization? From day one. You teach them the skills, you show them how, but you make sure they realize it is up to them to get that backpack to school with the papers in it. You do not run assignments to work, nag them, force them, etc.

caveat: both my children are grade school age.

By DB

February 26, 2009 10:09 AM | Link to this

@FCM, one wry comment here: You compare helping your child on a project with being the PM. Can I make the observation that, if you routinely take on the role of the PM, then your child is never management material? :-) (d&r)

@JJ - I know many parents who feel the way you do, but unfortunately, schools are called on to be increasingly in loco parentis that many schools end up doing more parenting and social engineering and less academics — thus the homework. I agree, though — two hours of homework for an elementary school child is way too much. As a senior, my daughter has about 3 hours a night with her full load of AP classes, more or less depending on research papers — she cherishes those rare nights when she only has to practice music.

By Michelle

February 26, 2009 10:12 AM | Link to this

What a great topic!

I think the degree to which you help your child with home should depend on the age of the child! My little guy is in Kidnergarten. I will go through his backpack each night to look for homework. I make sure he gets it done (not do it for him) and that he put it back in his backpack. If he forgets to turn it in, I remind him the next day! Many days we will work on extra stuff (sight word flash cards, spelling, storytelling) because he misses a lot of education time because of poor “choices” during school. At times it can be VERY frustrating trying to allow him to do the homework at his pace, but it does eventually get done. And no, if he forgets his homework at home, that’s where it stays! My husband and I both work and cannot go back to the house to pick it up and take it to the school.

Now…the high school kids, they are pretty much on their own. If they choose not to do homework, too bad. If they choose not to turn it in, too bad…not my problem. And if/when they fail, it’s their problem to deal with. If they have to repeat the grade, too bad! If they request help, I will most definitely explain the problem, questions, etc. I will even type a paper for them once they have provided a hard copy. Or, I will proof a typed copy for grammer, etc. and have them retype the corrections. Will I bail them out because they procrastinated…no way!

Another example, my kindergartner had to do a project on Mount Rushmore. It could be done on the computer, drawn, 3-D, etc. I found a cool website that had a 3-D cut out. I printed it out and put one together to see what it looked and to see the ease of assembly. I realized the way it was it was too little for uncoordinated fingers to work with. So, I made the pieces larger and printed them on card stock paper. Then he did the cut out of his project and put it together! He was so proud! I did make a few “fact” sheets for him with visual cues to help him remember what they were (I don’t even know if that was required, that was just for my benefit and working with him to know some of the facts). It is OBVIOUS that he did not do that part! LOL!

When the teens have a project, I will give them input if/when asked, but will not do it for them. If they forget it at home, they get the points taken off.

I am in agreement that the sooner they can take responsibility for their learning and consequences, the better off they will be in the long run! These are the kinds of kids that go to college and do well and don’t lose their scholarships in the first semester!

By FCM

February 26, 2009 10:42 AM | Link to this

@ DB — you would be correct if I never give up the PM role or delegate some of the activities back down…in Kindergarten, First, and the 1st projects of 2nd & 3rd I did the PM. Now I do the VP role. :o)

I have no issue with the kids getting homework…Spelling words, reading assingments, or math pages. I do think that 2 hours a day for elementary is a bit much. Is that a reality? Our school has 30 minutes to an hour through 3rd grade….not sure about 4th & 5th.

By Stacey

February 26, 2009 10:44 AM | Link to this

My son does his homework in ASP so the only thing he has to do at home is read. I check his folder (most) nights because I have to sign his behavior report and reading log (verifying that he read aloud at least 15 minutes). He doesn’t really take tests yet but when he starts, I will quiz him if he needs and/or wants me to. I would just read over my notes a few times and I got it but my sister needed to be quizzed. We had a house full of kids growing up so whoever finished homework first usually called out the questions for her to answer. I honestly can’t tell yet what my son’s style is (he’s in second grade).

As far as projects are concerned, I confess that I have been guilty of doing a project for him. In kindergarten he had to do a project with fall scenes. We cut pictures out of old magazines and newspapers and I very carefully arranged them on construction paper and color coordinated poster board. In the meantime, my son went outside (on his own) and gathered colorful leaves, pinecones, acorns, etc for me to use. I thanked him for his initiative but told him “we” were already finished. He decided to glue the leaves to a piece of construction paper and turn in the acorns and pinecones anyway. My project was returned the next day and his was hung up in the hallway outside of the classroom. His teacher joked with me later on that she was impressed with his scrapbooking skills and hoped that one day she would have time for him to teach her! :o)

By Meme

February 26, 2009 11:40 AM | Link to this

JJ, one of the reasons that I rarely give homework is not just because some parents do it for them but because kids have so many after school activities. All I ask is that they read for 15 - 30 minutes every day after school.

By Joyce

February 26, 2009 12:57 PM | Link to this

The parents’ job is to provide the opportunity to complete schoolwork in a timely manner. I’ve given my son a routine that we follow each afternoon, and a “home” for his bookbag when he’s finished with his work. This set-up seems to work for us. We’ve had a related problem this week, though. On Tuesday I picked him up early for a dentist appt and he forgot to put his homework folder in his bag, so no homework got done. Yesterday afternoon, he “forgot” his homework folder, so again, no homework got done. Today he has a math test, and I told him that doing the math homework the last 2 nights would probably have been good practice. Oh, well. As someone else said earlier, at least there’s no GPA yet in 1st grade, so it’s better he learn now.

By catlady

February 26, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

I guess I was pretty hands-off. My part was to say, “Got any homework tonight?” and “Anything you need to practice?” IF they asked me, I would quiz or clarify. If there was a big project, the rule was to make a list of supplies needed in advance and we would get them on our regular shopping day. I NEVEr went to the store at the last minute, and I never concerned myself with checking their backpacks. This resulted, once, in my older daughter missing an activity because she did not get me to sign a permission slip—she left it at school. I taught at the same school she was in, but she knew better than to bring it to me that morning after she got back to school.My children knew I would explain anything they were having trouble with, IF THEY TOLD ME.

I recommend parents disengage themselves from the homework/backpack checking. Be involved AFTER the fact, if the child did NOT take care of their business. I have seen too many parents make their kid handicapped and then wonder how to “get out of it.”

By catlady

February 26, 2009 1:25 PM | Link to this

The question to ask yourself: Do I have to remind my child to watch their favorite TV show? If the answer is no, then you don’t need to be checking the backpack. They will remember what is important. Your job is to help them see what is truly important. You don’t do that by showing them it is important to you, but that it is important to THEM. Think long-range goal, not short range (like grades in elementary school).

By va. lady

February 26, 2009 2:07 PM | Link to this

I make sure that the kids sit down and do their homework. I help when asked. If I notice that the homework contains a lot of errors, I do not correct them. Obviously, the child did not understand the teacher’s instruction. Further, I tell the teachers that I will not correct homework. As for help with projects, I buy the needed supplies but stay away from the execution. From time to time, I will help type a paper. My second son has a diagnosed language processing condition — he does better when he dictates aloud. As for homework left at home, I am from the “So sad, too bad” group. My child’s responsibility is to pack up his binder with everything needed for school. If he suffers consequences at school for items left at home, so much the better. My oldest is now a college freshman. He understands that the fate of his academic career rests in his hands. If he doesn’t perform well, he will enter the armed forces next fall.

By Cammi317

February 26, 2009 2:13 PM | Link to this

I make sure my daughter sits down and does her homework and I check over it. I place a mark next to the items that are wrong. If she missed a few of many questions or problems, I make her redo those problems alone because she obviously understood the process and got sloppy. If I see she is totally not understanding an assignment, I will take the time to explain what is being asked of her and then let her redo the work. It is NOT only the teachers job to ensure that our children understand their assignments. In fact, I believe that it is my job first and last.

By Teacher, Too

February 26, 2009 2:22 PM | Link to this

Wow! It’s so refreshing to see that there are actually parents who will allow their children to learn from mistakes. I see far too many students who “forget” assignments and want to call home to have their parent bring said assignments to school.

I put in my syllabus that work turned in after the beginning of class is late. Period. If the student left it in his/her locker, oh well, it’s still late. The work should have been placed in the correct binder and it wouldn’t have been left in the locker.

I would not have dared to call either of my parents to bring my work to school. In fact, it never even crossed my mind; the answer would have been a resounding “no” anyway.

By b

February 26, 2009 2:27 PM | Link to this

Boy, everyone here must have some really perfect, really intelligent kids. I have a child with several learning disabilities and even with a homework hour at school, there is still homework to do at night. Since learning for him is best in an oral manner, we do a lot of “quizzing” out loud from vocabulary words to getting ready for tests. Finally now in eighth grade I rarely have to sit with him while he is doing math or work for literature or writing. His spring research paper hasn’t even had to really come home yet; just a little typing but the paper was a struggle in sixth and seventh grade. Organization is a problem although we have everything color coded to help remember and after three years, he usually remembers everything. We are too far from school and I work so if it was forgotten he got a demerit. If he is left totally on his own, there is no chance for me to redirect and help him focus. High school is approaching and I know that we will continue to have a very active role in homework. There is too much and it is too easy to get lost in the overwhelming amounts of assignments.

Before everyone says I am a helicopter mom, my oldest did not require all of this help and by the time high school rolled around I didn’t even know what was assigned unless it was mentioned.

You need to understand what your child needs and do everything you can to help them succeed. Of course, I never actually do the work, except some typing, (and you would know that by some of his grades) but actual, hands on support is necessary.

By JJ

February 26, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

BThat does not make you a helicopter parent. That makes you a “hands on” parent and a good one at that. Keep up the good work.

I helped my daughter with homework, when asked, until high school. Then she was on her own. I put the responsiblity on her, and she seems to be doing a wonderful job.

We found that “flash” cards worked great. She would get index cards, and write questions on one side, and the answers on the other.

When it came time for me to help her, I would go through the cards, ask her the questions. Then all the right answers were in one pile, the wrong answers in another. Then we would go through all the wrong answers, with the same method, until she got every one correct. Then we went through them again, just to be sure.

Sometimes she still asks me to help her with something very difficult, especially when she is studying for a test.

But usually, I don’t even see the homework, since she completes it before I get home.

By Theresa

February 26, 2009 4:15 PM | Link to this

B- I think kids definitely have different needs and different amounts of help. I think Walsh is going to be far more organized than Rose. His room is always neater and he is a better cleaner. I think she’s disorganized like me and that’s something she will struggle more with than him. And that’s the balance I’m trying to find for them — when to help without being an enabler. You want to assist them but not let them be irresponsible or dependent. So that’s what I’m working on figuring out now.

By Atl mom

February 26, 2009 5:24 PM | Link to this

It is funny that there has to be one extreme or another.I personally think that some of these totally “hands off” parents are disenaged and will later wonder why they don’t know their kids.

I view homework as an opportunity to spend time with my child and have intelligent dialogue.

I think I help my 5th grader with her homework because I ask about what she is studying and what she thinks about it. I ask her to show me what she is doing. We review what she missed on school work and why. We talk about what I was taught and how it is different. I show her how to use the computer the correct way. I talk with her about good study habits in our hectic lives. (We have a non-traditional house where time is split equally between divorced parents) I believe this is showing my daughter that school is important and that I care about her future.

You don’t have to DO the homework for your kids but you should help them learn how to manage their time - which includes down time, family time, activities and school.

If you just leave your kid totally alone while you do your own thing in another room….don’t start whining when your kid doesn’t turn to you with future problems.

By FCM

February 26, 2009 5:40 PM | Link to this

catlady—-I agree, I have a child that insist that I sit and look at every paper brought home the minute we walk through the door. This child finds it very important that I see what is going on (not the child with the Agenda lost under the seat).

The other child could careless if I see the information, but I do ask for the Agends, because the daily behavior marker is in it. :o) What I do is make the TV dependent on the behavior report—-failed to get signed by the teacher and get it to me? No TV. Now I do not really ‘ask’ for it. I just wait until the child asks for TV. :o)

By catlady

February 26, 2009 6:05 PM | Link to this

Our county has a rule that elementary kids can have no more than 20 minutes total (all subjects) per night. The teachers have to carefully co-ordinate their assignments.

I think it is great that parents want to discuss what their child is doing. I just think your child would be better served doing it over dinner instead of sitting at the table with you hanging around.

One of the coolest things ever was when my elder daughter was a senior and we were encouraged to read some assigned books together and discuss them. As I recall, we had to keep a journal. I learned a lot. Thank you, Patty McWhorter, et al, for that valuable experience.

Atl mom: I am not sure if your comment was directed toward me but it turned out for me that my children and I are very close. Maybe abnormally so. We enjoy each other. But we recognize that we each have our own responsibilities. I cannot ever remember looking over my child’s homework and marking the incorrect answers, for example, to be redone. I would look at a specific problem if asked, and if there was a misunderstanding I would clarify with other examples.

When I see kids bring in projects obviously their parents have done, I just grind my teeth. The best way to find out for sure is to have the child explain the project to you—how they did it, what they learned. Very enlightening.

Just like “presents” your kids make you, the projects they really do have so much more worth, no matter how unprofessional they look.

By DB

February 26, 2009 6:06 PM | Link to this

@B - I don’t think you’re a helicopter parent at all, you are just dealing with the realities of your child’s world. Topics such as today’s don’t apply equally to the wide spectrum of kids and their needs. Everyone tosses in their two cents, but really, we can only comment on our own experience as parents — and everyone’s is going to be different.

By fk

February 26, 2009 6:56 PM | Link to this

When my son was in the 2nd grade, the students were to do a simple project on the USS Constitution. The project was supposed to be done by the children with little to no adult participation. Well, you would not believe some of the replicas that walked in the door. It was too funny. Definitely not the work of 6-7 year olds. Same went for the pinewood derby cars with cub scouts. Oh, and just wait until the 8th grade science fair. Uh, no parent involvement…yeah, right.

I did help my son with his homework, but only after he seriously attempted it by himself. We’d check it over together, only so he could learn to check his own work. As he got older, I’d check it only if he asked, but I did look over the project assignments to see that he was understood the requirements. These last few months, he had me proofing his college entry essays. Where has the time gone?

Time management was the issue in our house. My son always moved at the same pace, whether he got up early, on time, or was running late. It got better as he got older and was involved in sports. I did set time limits for school assignments. He was not allowed to stay up and cram the work the night before a project or report was due. While in elementary school, the at-home due date was always a few days earlier than the teacher’s. Did it pay off? No. He is a procrastinator.

By SHARON

February 26, 2009 7:40 PM | Link to this

I always did my own homework when I was a kid. My parents didn’t even know what the assignment was. I’m a lawyer with 3 kids now, and frankly, I think the teachers expect me to help them with their homework. Not just look over it - but actually DO the homework with them like it’s my assignment too! I just don’t want to. I just don’t. I’m tired. I don’t like homework, and I don’t think it’s necessary to think up projects that require an adult to complete it. I have friends that love to do it, but I don’t love it. Like I said, I’m tired at night!

Homework should be a practice of what the kids learned at school. It should not require parental assistance.

By firstborn40

February 27, 2009 6:47 AM | Link to this

i had my daughter at 40 and she is a third grader who has been an all “a” student since pre-k…i’ve helped her on her homework, and i remind her that homework is a reflection of what you’ve already learned…this year i guess peer pressure rears its head and she was giving me a hard time about homework…i had to deprogram her in reference to what i wanted her to do and what the teacher asked her to do…sometimes i asked her to look her spelling words up in the dictionary even if the teacher didn’t ask her to…she scores high in testing and she is going to saturday school “because its not going to hurt her” (lol, thats what i tell her) right now in prep for the crct, which she has to pass this year, she passed it last year with higher scores than needed…she enjoys math and i involve her in any activity that is sponsored by colleges and the school system for her experience in learning and meeting other kids…projects are funny because teachers can’t fully expect for an elementary student under the fifth grade to turn in an “a” project without a parent’s help, and it is nearly impossible for the project to be completed without the parent’s help. the concept of the project is my daughter’s, i help make it come true, she does the work, i help with the wording on captions and intricate stuff, but ultimately her stamp is on the project…we just completed a project that she felt she didn’t do enough work on…but her teacher thought it was excellent…she has a full life, band and chorus, and at the local boys and girls club she plays soccer, runs track, and she is a cheer leader…other things she does is girl scouting and any other activity that is going on in our community or sponsored by the school…we have another project coming up on the branches of government, so we are thinking of a creative way to present it…my greatest accomplishment of the day is getting her up, fed, snack fixed, any extra items having her to check to see if she has pencils, if they need sharpening and enough paper, talking to her on the way to school and watching her walk into the school door, flashing back to her being a baby and the times i thought what she would be like at this age, i get nostalgic and peaceful…i breathe a sigh of relief knowing that i was on time for the most important appointment of the day!…happy parenting!

By rh

February 27, 2009 7:22 AM | Link to this

I help both my 8th grader and 5th grader with their homework. What i am finding out is that the teachers send home worksheets from a book that do not really match with the books they use in class everday. This causes a problem for me and i am sure some other parents because it was a long time ago when i was in the 5th grade. some of the math i just dont remember and i have had college math, and accounting. if my 5th grader did not take good notes in class i have to figure out what he has to do sometimes this takes a minute. he packs his on bag every morning and is pretty good about showing us his tuesday folder that will have any notes and grades for particular assingments. My 8th grader needs some help sometimes and they are begining to use the computer to do powerpoint assignments that they have to email to their teacher. For the most part if she needs help she will ask for it and i try not to give her any help until i see that she has really tried and just doesnt understand.

By DaBiggONE

February 27, 2009 7:47 AM | Link to this

Please don’t underestimate the importance of INDEPENDENCE! My 6-year is responsible for all of her school work herself. Other kids turn in projects where the parents obviously have input. My daughter does it ALL herself. I’ve got a 15-year old & a 13-year old that are totally responsible for their OWN success in school. They know the reality of consequence from a very young age!

By Karen Johnson

February 27, 2009 10:16 AM | Link to this

I have two children in elementary school (1st and 4th grade) and I think homework is a great time to find out about their study habits and understand areas where they may need a bit of help. I do not do any of their homework for them but I do think that they are encouraged by my presence to take more care and time to do a good job. I definitely study with them every night and feel that although I am a mom that works outside the home, I have a very good grasp on their school day and areas where they may need a bit more encouragement. I’m lucky as they are both very good students and for the most part its a pleasure to work with them.

By DB

February 27, 2009 2:37 PM | Link to this

@firstborn40: “Teachers can’t fully expect for an elementary student under the fifth grade to turn in an “a” project without a parent’s help, and it is nearly impossible for the project to be completed without the parent’s help.”

I would disagree strongly with this sentiment. Every single teacher my child ever had knew what had been done with parental involvement and which ones were done by the kids. In 3rd grade, my son had an “Indian” project to do. He chose to do a Iroquois war mask. We shopped for feathers and the clay, but he took it from there. It wasn’t museum-quality, by any means - you could sorta see a nose on the mask — but it was enthusiastic and well-colored :-) The day he took it to school, one child (accompanied by BOTH parents, mind you) brought in an entire adobe Indian village made of clay over a wood frame, with little tiny ladders and a few figures wearing tiny clothing. When asked how he built it, the child shrugged and said, “Oh, Mom did all that — but she let me paint this part, here — see?!” The entire room burst out laughing, and the mom turned bright red.

(And yes, my son got an “A” for his mask!)

By GRS

March 4, 2009 10:49 AM | Link to this

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