Home > Health > MOMania > Archives > 2009 > January
January 2009
Should moms be limited to the number of implanted embryos?
The birth of octuplets to a mother of 6 children has created an ethical debate around the nation.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Should women be limited to the number of embryos they are allowed to implant in their bodies? Should the fact that they have other children affect fertility treatments they are allowed to receive?
An ethical debate has erupted about the recent birth of octuplets in California as more information about the mother has been discovered. Multiple news agencies are reporting that the woman had six children already and had eight embryos implanted.
The Associated Press reported:
“ Large multiple births ‘are presented on TV shows as a ‘Brady Bunch’ moment. They’re not,’ fumed Arthur Caplan, bioethics chairman at the University of Pennsylvania. He noted the serious and sometimes lethal complications and crushing medical costs that often come with high-multiple births.”
“But Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg, who has fertility clinics in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and New York, countered: ‘Who am I to say that six is the limit? There are people who like to have big families.’ ”
” ‘If she went to a fertility clinic, there’s wide consensus from every single ethicist and fertility specialist that this was irresponsible and unethical to implant that many embryos,’ said M. Sara Rosenthal, bioethicist at the University of Kentucky’s College of Medicine. ‘This is an outrageous situation that should not happen.’ “
“Doctors say that giving birth to extreme multiples comes with tremendous risks for both the mother and the babies. Risks for the children include bleeding in the brain, intestinal problems, developmental delays and lifelong learning disabilities.”
“In certain European countries, particularly Italy and Germany, the limit on the number of embryos allowed to be implanted at once is three, said Robert George, professor at Princeton University and member of the U.S. President’s Council on Bioethics. George advocated following those countries’ examples so that similar situations don’t arise and put the lives of mother and fetuses at risk.”
What do you think: Should a medical association or the government somehow set a limit to the number of embryos a mother can have implanted? Should the number of children a woman already has affect the type and intensity of fertility treatment she is allowed to receive?
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Searching for Sasha and Malia look-alikes for advertising
Does this trend cross a line?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Multiple news agencies are reporting that Madison Avenue is on a mad hunt to find Sasha and Malia Obama look-alikes for ad campaigns.
Here’s one version of the story from New York Magazine.
The CNN story pointed out that this phenomenon didn’t really happen with the Bush twins or Chelsea Clinton.
Is this flattering to the girls or does it cross a line? Does it infringe of the privacy of the Obama girls? Is there anything the President and First Lady could do about it? Why do you think this trend didn’t happen with other First Children?
Permalink | Comments (31) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
How’s your family’s consumer confidence?
Are you spending money to get us out of this recession or squirreling it away to protect your family in case you get fired?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How’s your family’s consumer confidence?
The latest Consumer Confidence Index says it’s not so good.
The Associated Press reports: “The Conference Board said Tuesday its Consumer Confidence Index edged down to 37.7 this month, a record low, from a revised 38.6 in December. It stood at about 87 just a year ago.”
“Americans are battered by headlines about massive job cuts, including thousands at Home Depot, Corning, General Motors and Caterpillar in just the past two days, and are still watching the values of their homes and retirement funds dwindle.”
” ‘Virtually, there is no confidence out there,’ said Bernard Baumohl, chief global economist at The Economic Outlook Group LLC. ‘Household anxiety has reached a point that we can count them out to get us out of the recession.’ ”
“Economists believe Americans will remain in a financial funk until they start seeing fundamental improvements in the economy, including a turnaround in the housing and job markets. And two other reports Tuesday suggested that’s unlikely to come soon.”
While the government would love to see you spending to help get the economy going again, Suze Orman wants you to save what my husband believes is an unrealistic amount of money. I saw the financial expert on CNN over the weekend and she is suggesting that families save between 8 to 12 months of income as an emergency fund. (You generally hear around three months income for an emergency fund, which seems far more plausible.) Orman says when people lose their jobs in this economy it’s taking between 8 to 12 months to find new ones, hence her number.
I’ve got mom friends going in both directions. I’ve got one friend who is letting her housekeeper go and another making the most of lower prices buying up high-quality items on the cheap.
I’m personally torn. I would love to be updating our 25-year-old kitchen, and we have some extra money saved. However, if my husband lost his job we would need that money as part of our emergency fund. On the other hand, if my husband lost his job and we had to move for another job I don’t think we could sell the house with the kitchen as is. But then there’s the problem of house values. They’ve already dropped so much we would lose money on our initial investment and on adding the kitchen. What a giant mess! I need to call Clark Howard!
So what’s your plan? Are you cutting back on everything — charity, college funds or just dinners out? Are you taking advantage of deals on travel, appliances, clothes? (Disney Cruises is offering some amazing deals!) Are you spending or saving at this point? Could you come up with Suze Orman’s 8 to 12 months of emergency fund? Is that a crazy amount for people to save or realistic for this economy?
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Can your kids walk and talk on a cell phone?
A new study shows kids 43 percent more likely to get hit by a car or have close call while talking on their cell phones.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A new study in the latest issue of Pediatrics reports that tweens (age 8 to 12) are far more likely to get hit by a car when crossing a road while talking on their cell phones.
MSNBC reports: “A third of the 20 million 8- to 12-year-olds in the United States already have a cell phone, with more than half of ‘tweens’ expected to be carrying them by the end of next year, according to market researchers. The research from the University of Alabama researchers highlights how important it is for parents to teach kids about cell phone safety while they’re out walking around.”
“In the study, which was published in latest issue of Pediatrics, researchers watched as 77 pre-teens individually navigated a virtual reality street crossing. The children were first allowed to familiarize themselves with the street scene before actually starting the test. Then they were asked to run through the simulation 12 times, six while on the phone, six while undistracted….”
“The researchers found that children speaking on a cell were 43 percent more likely to be hit or to have a close call in the simulated street crossings than kids who weren’t on the phone. They also kept track of how many times a child would look left and right before stepping into the street and found that number fell by 20 percent when a phone conversation was going on.”
What about your child? Have you ever discussed crossing streets while talking on their cell phones? (I’m sure parents talk about not driving and talking with older kids but I’m not sure they would be discussing walking.) Have you ever watched them cross a street and talk? How did they do?
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Moms VS coaches
There’s a whole lot of coaches yelling at our kids, but is it appropriate?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As far as I was concerned there was a little too much yelling going on for a 5-year-old instructional basketball league.
We chose the league for my son because we wanted him to be introduced to the fundamentals of basketball. Instead, I got my introduction to “tough” coaches.
To an adult his comments wouldn’t be considered mean, but I’m not sure they’re necessary or appropriate for children.
“You run like a girl,” he yelled at multiple children over and over again at the first practice.
This may have been considered appropriate when this guy began coaching 20 years ago, but at least a fourth of the kids in the class are girls. And, one of the very best players is a girl. What in the world must this little girl think of his insult?
I knew my husband liked the coach’s approach, so I complained a little and decided to keep an eye on things.
A few weeks later, I took Walsh to practice without Michael. He had been up late the night before, and he was being whiny on the way to the gym. He refused to go onto the floor and started crying. Eventually, he said he didn’t want to because the coach called him names.
I said, well what names has he called you?
“Grandma and cowboy.” (These didn’t strike me as terribly insulting names, but I’m not a 5-year-old.)
The coach yelled over in a fairly ugly tone, “Well, is he going to play?”
I said “I hope so.” I got brave and added “He doesn’t want you to call him names.”
The coach replied, “Well, he’s a baby, and if he’s going to cry in my gym, he should just go home.”
I felt that he went over the line trying to embarrass and demean my 5-year-old.
I don’t have a problem with a coach exhorting kids to move faster or to play harder, but why the embarrassing names? Why the attitude? I think that there is this perception that little boys need to be made tough, so yelling at them isn’t bad. But at what point does it stop strengthening them and actually begin to break down their self-esteem?
Coaches are essentially teachers dressed in sweats. We wouldn’t tolerate our elementary school teachers saying things like “You’re working that math problem like a girl!” or “What kind of reading is that, Wild Man?” So why do big and tall guys get away with it?
Most men, including my husband, would probably say I’m just oversensitive. I didn’t play sports. However, the coach who doubled as the newspaper sponsor used to yell at me about bad writing and not selling enough ads. In fact, most of the coaches in my school seemed to channel Bobby Knight, even though their players weren’t competing for many championships back then.
My husband, who played sports and grew up on military bases where everybody is always screaming, doesn’t have an issue with the coach’s behavior. After the first basketball practice, Michael was reminiscing nostalgically about some particularly maniacal youth coaches who terrified him, and taught him a lot. “These kids need to be yelled at like that more often,” he said.
I don’t want to raise a wimp, but why do we let adults who happen to wear whistles around their necks treat our children badly? And, why is there a double standard? Just a couple of years ago, Michael asked me to pull Rose out of a ballet class because he didn’t like the way the teacher treated the girls. Then why does he allow, even encourage, our boy to be treated worse.
To be fair, I have to point out that the next week, after Walsh got a good night’s sleep and apologized for crying the week before, the coach took the time to learn his name and spent most of practice encouraging him.
I think I can live with this one coach and this one season, but I’m worried that this is the start of a decade of practices led by coaches who don’t share my world view and can actually hurt my son’s self-esteem.
Next fall, Michael wants Walsh to play tackle football. The most popular league near us is unbelievably intense, even for 6-year-olds. I’ve seen the practices, and they’re nothing like the gentle encouragement and teamwork lessons young kids get in soccer. But Michael says that is exactly the point. Michael thinks we need to teach kids to be more competitive, something he thinks many youth soccer programs don’t do. (I don’t think demeaning children necessarily accomplishes this goal.)
I know that in real life, kids will have to learn to compete against other kids in sports, the arts, academics and eventually for jobs. But, do we have to force them to start that cutthroat competition so soon? And, do we have to break them down to get them to compete well?
Are women too sensitive to coaches yelling at our kids? Does that mean we’re wrong or just that the men have been desensitized to it from being yelled at for years? Do girls in sports get yelled at as much? Why or why not? What is appropriate yelling in a sports setting? How much and at what age are you willing to put up with?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas and comments are very welcome!
Permalink | Comments (94) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
How do your meals differ from your mother’s?
Definitely less biscuits and a wider variety of fruits and veggies are being served at my house.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I grew up in Georgia, and we had biscuits at just about every meal, every single day! I would eat several at dinner and loved them. It is a miracle I didn’t get heavy as a child.
Along with biscuits, my mother always served a meat, one vegetable and a starch - sometimes white rice, sometimes mashed potatoes. I focused a lot on the starches. By the time I left for college I joked I could be a grainatarian.
As I’m making dinner for my kids, I think a lot about how my menus differ pretty dramatically from my mother’s. I’m not sure if that is simply because times are changing (people just don’t eat that many starches any more) or if it’s because my husband grew up with an Asian mother who cooked less Southern and more international menus.
I try lots of new meals each week and rarely make the same thing twice. I do not have a regular rotation of meals. I’ll buy for four or five meats with meals in mind but then choose in the morning what I’m going with for that night. My mom rotated between about 10 meals.
I cook a lot of Asian-type meals in the wok, and they love noodles from any culture.
I do repeat BBQ baby back ribs, BBQ chicken and pizza. We make breakfast for dinner and they are big fans of pork.
We eat a ton of fresh fruit, and they love broccoli, beans, sweet potatoes, sugar snap and snow peas. My mom served corn or beans almost every night. She would sometimes serve broccoli, sweet potatoes and salad.
However, due to my own weakness for sweets and my love for baking, my kids probably eat too many cookies and cakes (although often they are homemade). My mom rarely baked but on the plus side we didn’t eat that much sugar.
We rarely have bread with dinner. (My kids may be missing out due to my weakness for biscuits.)
And I never have ice tea in the house (a staple in my home growing up) because I am too lazy to brew it.
How do your meals differ from your mother’s meals? Why do they differ? Do you think you serve healthier meals or worse meals?
Need some fine tuning? Check out these mother/daughter duos who really cook!
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Should schools be teaching financial literacy? Should parents?
How well do you understand the financial markets and your personal finances? How are you sharing the knowledge with your children?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As our leaders try to figure out how to get our failing economy back on track, maybe one question we should be asking is how financially literate is our society and how are we teaching our children these necessary skills?
Think about how, at least in part, our current crisis developed: People were buying houses they could not afford and agreeing to loans they couldn’t pay back. The kindest explanation is they didn’t understand how loans, compound interest, adjustable mortgages and such worked. (At the worst, they didn’t care.)
At the same time you had Bernie Madoff bilking investors, who you would think had some financial knowledge, out of billions of dollars.
Would a greater understanding by the average family of financial fundamentals helped prevent this meltdown?
Dubner writes: “The good news is that economics is being taught much more in high school now than it was 20 or 30 years ago. (While ‘economics’ is of course not the same as ‘personal finance’ or ‘financial literacy,’ let’s for the time being pretend that most economics courses give students a rudimentary understanding of personal finance.) According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress (‘The Nation’s Report Card’), 9 of 10 high-school students said they were exposed to some economics education, up from 1 in 4 in 1982. According to the National Council on Economic Education, 17 states now require students to take an econ course to graduate, up from 13 states in 1998.
“So how’s it working? Not very well. According to the latest annual survey by the JumpStart Coalition for Personal Financial Literacy, ‘high school seniors correctly answered only 48.3 percent of the questions,’ down from 52.4 percent a year earlier.”
Dubner says that not surprisingly families with less education, women, African-Americans and Hispanics have very low levels of financial literary.
And that is the argument why financial literacy cannot just be taught at home. If the parents don’t have money or have never applied for a mortgage or credit card (or have used them poorly) then how can they teach the next generation?
Dubner interviewed Annamaria Lusardi, a professor of economics at Dartmouth “who knows and cares more about financial literacy than anyone else you’re likely to encounter” and asks her, among other things, if she were president for a day, what financial topics would she like taught in high school?
Here is her quick list (You can read more details in the story.):
Basics of how markets work.
Time value of money and the working of interest compounding.
The concept of risk and the working of risk diversification and insurance.
Basic accounting: Assets, liabilities, and market prices versus book prices.
Rights and responsibilities of consumers and institutions.
How much do your children understand about the economy and personal finance? How are your kids learning about macro and microeconomics? What and how are you teaching them about personal finance?
Is your school currently teaching economics and/or personal finance? (It seems like at our local high school the business department is taking on some of that - not just typing.)
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Mustaches are in! Should your husband grow one?
The goatee is passe. The 'stache is back. Does it thrill you or ill you?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The New York Times Fashion and Style section reports that the mustache is back!
In the world of journalism three sightings makes it a trend. So here are the three examples on which the Times is basing this conclusion:
1. “…Brad Pitt, who grew one just before the filming of Quentin Tarantino’s new World War II film, ‘Inglourious Basterds,’ and flaunted it for the paparazzi over the holidays. Emanuel Millar, the head of the film’s hair department, said he was surprised when Mr. Pitt showed up to shoot avec mustache and insisted on keeping it despite the fact that it was not true to the period.
2. “.. the ‘Milk’ Mustache — that is, the one worn by the scene-stealing James Franco, playing Sean Penn’s long-suffering and dreamy boyfriend in ‘Milk.’ While Mr. Penn’s performance is the most talked-about aspect of the film, Mr. Franco’s mustache has elicited plenty of admiration on its own.”
3. “Jason Giambi, the Yankees first baseman whose summer comeback coincided with his sprouting a particularly fine-looking mustache, prompting many to recall the 1972 World Series, when a handlebar-wearing Rollie Fingers and the Oakland A’s took on the clean-shaven Cincinnati Reds in ‘the Hairs vs. the Squares.’ ”
I will admit I am not that into the mustache. I can think of two men who are super hot with mustaches — Tom Selleck and Tom Berenger (from “The Big Chill”).
Are you a fan of the mustache? Please tell us why - without being too graphic. Who are your favorite stars with mustaches? Do you want your husband/boyfriend to grown one? When was the last time he had one?
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Are you worried about peanut butter recalls?
We eat a ton of peanut butter products so now I’ve really got to think about what I’m putting in their lunch bags and giving them for snacks.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Chinese milk recall was not that scary to me. A peanut butter recall - now you’ve got my attention.
We are one peanut butter-eating family! We’ve got multiple brands of jarred peanut butter in our cabinet and refrigerator (at this point jars aren’t being recalled), plus about a dozen products that have peanut butter in them.
According to a story from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
“The Food and Drug Administration on Saturday advised consumers to avoid eating any product containing peanut butter or peanut paste until it can determine how many products have been contaminated.”
“The FDA said it was not including jars of peanut butter sold in grocery stores, only products that were made with peanut butter, such as crackers.”
“ ‘We are urging people not to eat products that have peanut butter until we have better information and they can make an informed choice,’ said Dr. Stephen Sundlof, director of the FDA Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.”
“Already more than 450 people have been poisioned, and five people have died, as the result on of a Salmonella outbreak. A sixth death may be linked to the outbreak.”
As of Monday, Kellogg Co. had confirmed one single package of its Austin Quality Foods Toasty Crackers with Peanut Butter had salmonella.
And The Associated Press also reported on Monday: “Midwestern grocer and retailer Meijer Inc. said it was recalling two types of crackers and two varieties of ice cream because of the possibility of salmonella contamination: Meijer brand Cheese and Peanut Butter and Toasty Peanut Butter sandwich crackers, and Peanut Butter and Jelly and Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.”
“Golden Valley, Minn.-based General Mills said in a news release Monday afternoon that it was recalling two flavors of snack bars: LARABAR Peanut Butter Cookie snack bars and JamFrakas Peanut Butter Blisscrisp snack bars. The company said the recall affected 15,000 cases and no illnesses have been reported. General Mills said the recall did not affect any other products it makes.”
We sold Girl Scout Cookies this weekend, and I had several questions about the safety of the peanut butter cookies. I sent a note to our troop leader to find out what to tell our customers.
So what’s in your cabinets? Are you pulling peanut butter products from your kids’ lunch bags? Will you throw the products out or wait and see if they end up on a list? Does pulling peanut butter affect the day-to-day feeding of your child?
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Top stress for new First Lady: Hoping the kids don’t mess up the White House
Even well-behaved children have accidents at home, but usually it’s not in a room decorated by Abigail Adams. I offer some advice mother-to-mother to help Michelle protect the most historic home in America.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
If I were becoming the First Lady of the United States, like Michelle Obama, what would be the scariest part of the new gig?
Surely having to dance at 10 official balls in front of millions of people would be frightening. It would also be a little overwhelming to entertain and host kings, queens and heads of state from all over the world. Not to mention supporting your husband while he deals with wars and an economic meltdown.
But even with all that, I think the most stressful part would be having to let your small children live in the most historic home in America.
Last year we visited the White House for a 45-minute tour and in that short time with limited access, my kids almost did some damage. A White House staffer had to tell my 7-year-old, “Miss, can you please not sit in the John Adams chair.” In Rose’s defense, the chair was not roped off and we were waiting in a long line, but the story illustrates the potential pitfalls of having small children in a home with irreplaceable antiques around every corner.
Back at home, I can testify to the damage that my children did to our new house in just one year, and I can’t even imagine having to constantly worry about a child dumping grape juice on Dolley Madison’s rug or Jackie Kennedy’s curtains.
While I am certain the Obama girls are extremely well-behaved at 7 and 10 and will stay mostly in the residence; they are still children, and accidents do happen.
If 7-year-old Sasha is anything like my 7-year-old daughter, that South Lawn and those famous rose bushes will be under constant attack. Put the gardeners on alert - Little girls like to dig for no reason and also have a penchant for pulling petals from flowers. I fear the White House rose garden will suffer the same fate as my camellias, plucked bald.
I also can envision the girls thinking the bowling alley would make a great place to practice tap dancing and God forbid one of the girls or their buddies can’t make it to the bathroom while swimming in the White House pool. An accident is embarrassing enough at a neighborhood pool, but can you imagine having to alert the White House staff that the presidential pool needs to shut down and shocked!
At 10, Malia may also be playing with make-up. A little misplaced cream blush and lipstick could certainly create an unintended, yet colorful mess for the White House staff.
And we all know how wrong spend-the-night-parties can go. Silly string, pizza stains, and kids who eat too much junk food. I remember being embarrassed to tell my mother that one of the guests at my fifth-grade birthday party vomited purple icing onto her carpet. It’s got to be even tougher to tell your mother that your friend messed up Lady Bird Johnson’s favorite room.
Other than just apologizing constantly to the staff for any messes and praying that nothing of real value is damaged permanently, I’d like to offer the new First Lady a couple of ideas.
Before that fancy interior designer who is redoing the residence for the family picks out something non-washable and light in color for the girls’ bedspreads, I’d like to mention that Target has some very cute hot pink or bright green with polka dots comforter sets on sale for $39. Also some cute throw rugs, polka dot bath mats and towels that would be no stress if the nail polish happened to topple over. They clean up easily in the washer, believe me, we’ve done it.
I’d also like to point out that Lowe’s and Pottery Barn for Teens has these very adorable vinyl stick-on/take-off wall decors that would make it very easy, quick and non-damaging to decorate the girls’ walls. I’m planning to use the multi-sized polka dots from Pottery Barn in our kids’ redecorated bathroom.
I also would assign the kids a room solely for messy art/science projects. Paper mache, molding clay, water colors, permanent markers, test tubes and scissors should be kept far away from any of the historic furnishings.
I think the First Lady should try to relax, but also tell the White House housekeeping staff to stock up on the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It will get out almost any stain — especially on walls.
And just remember Sasha and Malia, whatever you do: Don’t sit in the John Adams chair!
Would you be worried if you had to live in the White House with your small children? Which part would stress you out the most? What would your tactics be to keep the house safe but comfortable for the children? What is your mom-to-mom advice for our new First Lady?
You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. We welcome your ideas and comments!
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How do you decorate a boy/girl bathroom?
How do you decorate a bathroom shared by both boys and girls? What are good themes that kids can grow with and doesn’t alienate one particular sex? Also, who has tips on getting down wallpaper?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve been in our “new” house over a year so now it’s time to deal with the children’s bathroom. The previous owner just had one child - a girl - and had the bathroom decorated in a floral wallpaper with pink ribbons cascading through the flowers. If we had all girls the wallpaper would be fine. I would add a little extra glue under a few of the edges that are coming down and we’d be set.
However, we have a 5-year-old little boy sharing that bathroom with his sisters so I think we need a bathroom theme a little more neutral.
So I want to know how have you decorated your children’s bathroom? What are some good boy/girl themes? What are some good themes that grow with the children?
Also any advice on taking down wallpaper and making sure the paint looks good over it? You know we are not handy, but to save some money I’m planning on doing it myself this weekend!
My mother says the scorer that you use to punch holes into the wallpaper so the chemicals can reach the glue punched holes into her drywall, and she had to re-mud the entire bathroom! Did she just push in too hard with this tool or is it really a bad thing? The guy at Lowe’s told me to use one. What has your experience been? Also should I use my steamer first on the wallpaper or use it with the chemical remover?
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Should pediatricians diagnose rudeness? Is Vicks OK under noses? Are vaccines NOT the cause of autism?
It’s Health News Round Up Wednesday where you’ll find the answers to these and other compelling questions.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There are too many good stories out there to choose just one today, so I’m giving you a HEALTH NEWS ROUND UP WEDNESDAY!
Should pediatricians diagnose rudeness?
A pediatrician, Dr. Perri Klass, writes in The New York Times that sometimes her patients are quite rude - the children, not the parents. She writes it off to parents as demanding but basically she thinks a lot of them just haven’t been taught good manners. Should a doctor tell you if your child is rude? Should she couch it as your child needs to work on his “social skills?” Is developing the skill to get along well with others just as important as motor skills and other developmental issues?
New book comes out strongly that vaccines are NOT causing autism
“Dr. Offit, a pediatrician, is a mild, funny and somewhat rumpled 57-year-old. The chief of infectious diseases at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, he is also the co-inventor of a vaccine against rotavirus, a diarrheal disease that kills 60,000 children a year in poor countries.”
“Dr. Offit’s book, published in September by Columbia University Press, has been widely endorsed by pediatricians, autism researchers, vaccine companies and medical journalists who say it sums up, in layman’s language, the scientific evidence for vaccines and forcefully argues that vulnerable parents are being manipulated by doctors promoting false cures and lawyers filing class-action suits.”
“ ‘Opponents of vaccines have taken the autism story hostage,’ Dr. Offit said. ‘They don’t speak for all parents of autistic kids, they use fringe scientists and celebrities, they’ve set up cottage industries of false hope, and they’re hurting kids. Parents pay out of their pockets for dangerous treatments, they take out second mortgages to buy hyperbaric oxygen chambers. It’s just unconscionable.’ ”
See what Dr. Offit says about the cause of autism and let us know what you think.
Spirituality linked to kids’ happiness.
Apparently, it’s fairly well known that having a spiritual life leads to teens and adults being happy, but a new study now finds the same link in children.
FoxNews.com reports: “Specifically, the study shows that children who feel that their lives have meaning and value and who develop deep, quality relationships — both measures of spirituality, the researchers claim — are happier.”
“Personal aspects of spirituality (meaning and value in one’s own life) and communal aspects (quality and depth of inter-personal relationships) were both strong predictors of children’s happiness, said study leader Mark Holder from the University of British Columbia in Canada and his colleagues Ben Coleman and Judi Wallace.”
“However, religious practices were found to have little effect on children’s happiness, Holder said.”
What do you think: If kids are more spiritual are they happier?
Vicks VapoRub should not be used under noses
I’ve gotten a couple of emails about this story, so I just wanted to point it out to parents. It’s a video from Fox News explaining why parents should NOT put Vicks VapoRub on a child under 2 and definitely not under a child’s nose. The pediatrician interviewed in the story says it actually increases the mucous instead of reducing it when placed under the nose. According to the interview, the packaging tells parents not to use Vicks on a child under 2 and says specifically to rub on the chest. Here’s the footage from FoxNews.com.
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Do you have family plans for the inauguration?
How important is witnessing the inauguration to your family? Will your family perform community service in honor of MLK the day before the inauguration?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am wondering how families will observe the inauguration this year, and will it differ from past years?
Will you keep your kids home from school to witness the inauguration? Will you DVR it for them? Do you think the schools should stop lessons to watch the inauguration on TV? Is it an important enough event to pre-empt their regularly scheduled classes?
Our kids were only 3 and 1 during the last inauguration so I’m sure the kids and I watched it together. I’m also sure they had no clue as to what it meant. Our family did follow the election closely, and no matter who wins I think an inauguration is something the kids should witness. I don’t think I will keep them home from school, but I do hope their school will show it and discuss it. I do plan to DVR the ceremonies so they can watch it in case the school doesn’t show it.
Our babysitter is taking a class trip to Washington to witness the inauguration in person. She and many of her AP history classmates will be driving up on Jan. 17 and returning on Jan. 21. I am very excited for her to see this history firsthand.
I’m also wondering if families will be performing any service projects on the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday - the day before inauguration. Service on MLK Day has long been a tradition, but President-elect Barack Obama has also been encouraging it. I found several Web sites with ideas for service projects.
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service
USAservice.org — Find a service event or host an event This site features a PSA from President-elect Obama promoting service. The new ad says: “America’s greatness was not crafted in skyscrapers alone. But on the ground by those who could see what needed to be done. Volunteers who in service stepped forward onto the dust of the moon, a levee in the heartland, the marble steps of a dream. You may ask yourself: ‘Where’s my moon, my levee, my dream?’ Well, it’s here, with you. Step forward. Help renew America at USAService.org.”
Tell us how you family will spend MLK Day? Will you honor President-elect Obama’s request to do service? How will you observe the inauguration with your children?
Check out the Get Schooled blog for more on the inauguration.
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Making children more useful
There’s a world of household chores children can and should be doing, but for some reason mine are not! Are yours?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In episode 4 of this season’s “Mad Men,” super sexy 1960s ad exec Don Draper relaxed on his couch while instructing his grade-school daughter on how to mix him the perfect cocktail.
My husband and I watched the scene with our mouths agape considering the possibilities. While we’re not looking to create the world’s smallest bartenders, my husband and I would like to see our kids become a bit more useful around the house.
It’s absolutely our own fault for not expecting and demanding more help from them. I think the main problem — for many families, not just ours— is that it’s often easier and faster to do the task yourself than to teach them to do it right.
Walsh’s teacher sent home a checklist of 28 age-appropriate chores that 5- and 6-year old kids can and should be doing around the house. This sheet has much higher expectations than I do.
Here are some of the things on the list that my 5-and 7-year olds are doing: Bathing themselves, washing their own hair, dialing the phone (Walsh has tried to place several phone orders after seeing commercials. Thankfully, he doesn’t know our credit card numbers.), putting away toys and cleaning rooms (only when asked and supervised with a lot of yelling), pouring own drinks (often spilling), and paying for small items (although, Walsh often pockets the change).
Here are some of things on the list they aren’t doing: Making beds (currently not well or with regularity), dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing the sink, toilet and bath tub, hanging and folding clothes (my 7-year-old has just started), preparing their own snacks for school, being responsible for their own minor injuries, and polishing silver (who polishes silver?).
My husband and his brother tell stories about their mythic housecleaning responsibilities at very young ages. By 5, they were supposedly vacuuming the house, cleaning toilets, scrubbing bathtubs, washing clothes and putting them away, helping iron their Dad’s uniform and shining his boots. I can’t check the veracity of these claims because my mother-in-law is dead, but both men are still excellent cleaners. However, I have heard that she used to “encourage” them by hitting them with whatever they were using improperly, from dustpans, to brooms to vacuum cleaners.
God did give us one good worker - the baby. I’m not sure if she just hears us yelling at the others all the time to clean up or it’s just innate, but this 22-month old baby will pick up a whole room quickly and well.
“Lilina pick up your trains and put them in the box.”
“Okay” she replies and does it immediately.
“Lilina, pick up the magnets and put them on the refrigerator.”
“Okay.” Done.
Meanwhile, the other two are still trying to figure out excuses or ways out of the chore. “But Mom, I’m hungry (or sick, or tired, or need to go to the bathroom).”
Cleaning up the basement is an exercise in patience that even Mother Teresa would have failed. Sometimes, I’ll come down after 20 minutes of “work” and they have been playing with toys like it was Christmas morning. Often they rediscover some beloved action figure or doll that has been buried under the mess for days. “There that is. I love that.” Cleaning is forgotten.
I have to give my son credit. He will work for the proper bribe. Promise something good, and he will get the job done. But thus far, much like her mother, Rose is a lost cause. No amount of threats, bribes, pleas or even a screaming father will get her to move quickly on chores. It generally ends with my husband doing her portion of the work and dismissing her while shaking his head. He says if he could ask his late mother one question, it would be, “How do I get this one to clean?”
We are trying to make our kids more responsible around the house - such as requiring them clear the table, scrape their dishes, feed the dog, and put away their clothes. One night my husband decided it was time they learned how to empty all the bathroom trash cans into one big bag and take it downstairs.
Walsh had been in time-out on the steps when Rose came down and said “Dad says you can get out early but you have to help me with some chores.”
Walsh declared he’d rather sit there. Dad yelled down for him to get up and help.
The first step was to find the garbage bags. Accomplishing this took several trips up and down the stairs for more information as to where the bags were located (under the sink, as they have been forever).
Rose yelled up the stairs: “I need specifics!”
Once the garbage bags were acquired, Walsh tried to pinch his nose while dumping the garbage from the small cans into the big bag. I heard both children squeal as they dropped nasty bathroom garbage on my carpet upstairs.
I watched from my desk as my 5-year-old dragged the bursting bag down our carpeted stairs, through the hallway and into the kitchen.
I thought he would just leave it by the door for Dad to take outside, but he got really gung ho and tried to take it all the way out to the big bin in the driveway. When I heard the garage door go up, I jumped up from my desk and chased after him. He had already dragged that thin plastic bag down concrete steps. Thankfully it hadn’t been punctured and we didn’t have a garbage juice to clean up.
I think our eyes have been opened to the possibilities and importance of our children doing more family chores. We’re going to stick with it - at least until Walsh explodes a garbage bag on my carpet.
How much do your kids help around the house? At what age is what chore appropriate? What do you think of the list of chores for 5- and 6-year olds? How do you teach a good work ethic?
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Should 20-somethings still be on their parents’ health insurance?
The Governor of New York says ‘Yes,' and has proposed a new bill that would help protect this large demographic of uninsured young adults.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Gov. David Paterson of New York has proposed that dependents ages 19 to 29 should be allowed to stay on their parents’ health insurance policies. Currently, employers do not have to cover kids if they are older than 18 or 22 if they are in college.
Young adults in this age bracket often don’t have insurance because they are either searching for jobs, work in jobs that don’t offer insurance, or don’t think they need it.
“According to the governor’s office, 31 percent of New York’s uninsured are ages 19 to 29. Many of them lose coverage once they graduate from college and remain uninsured until they are able to find a job that offers health insurance. But as the job market worsens, the state anticipates that the issue will become more pressing, with more and more young people unemployed and uninsured.”
The state expects that if approved about 10 percent or 80,000 young people would use it. The cost for the extra insurance would fall to the family, not the company or the state.
What do you think: Do your 20-something kids have health insurance? Would you want to leave them on your health insurance policy if that was an option? Would you be willing to pay the premium for them or would you want them to kick in? Would this encourage young adults not to take responsibility themselves?
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Are the parents to blame when 6-year-old son steals their car?
The boy missed the school but was determined to get to school. His parents were arrested and the children have been taken from their custody.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A 6-year-old boy from Virginia took his parents’ car and tried to drive to school after he missed the school bus. He made it about six miles before hitting an embankment and utility pole.
The Associated Press reports: The boy, whose name wasn’t released, missed the bus, took the keys to his family’s 2005 Ford Taurus and drove nearly six miles toward school while his mother was asleep, police said.”
“He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.”
“The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.”
“His parents, Jacqulyn Deana Waltman, 26, and David Eugene Dodson, 40, are each charged with child endangerment, Wilkins said. Waltman is being held without bond. Dodson was released on a $5,000 bond.”
“The boy and his 4-year-old brother were placed in protective custody.”
What do you think: Is it the parents’ fault the boy stole their car? Should the parents have been arrested? Should the children have been taken away?
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Is Snow Mountain worth the money?
We need your first-hand reviews! Has your family been to Stone Mountain’s new snow attraction? Is it worth the money? Would you go back?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My 5-year-old son is perpetually hoping for snow. And now we have a manmade hill of snow less than five miles from our house. But is Stone Mountain’s new Snow Mountain worth $25 a person for a two-hour session? Here is the pricing and calendar.
My parents drove over to check out the snow last week. (My dad is obsessed with snow and skiing.) They said the hill seemed very icy, and there was a long line to go down the hill. They weren’t sure how many runs you could make in the two-hour time period. However, they talked to families who were on the slope, and they said they were having a great time.
When I was little my parents would take us up to Sky Valley to ski, and as we got older we went for day trips to Cataloochee. I was thinking about taking my 7-and 5-year-olds up for a day this year. The Cataloochee Web site says a weekend day lift ticket is $51 for an adult and $41 for a child 5 to 12. And then to rent equipment is $22 for an adult and $18 for a kid. So for the math impaired, a whole day of playing in the snow in North Carolina would cost $73 for an adult and $59 for a child.
We need to hear from parents that have tried Snow Mountain. What did you think of the experience? What did your kids think? It two hours too short or just about the amount of time a kid is willing to stick with it? What is the youngest age that can down the hill alone? (My parents thought it looked too fast for our 7- and 5-year-olds to go down alone.) Could one parent take two kids down in the double tube?
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How long do you wait to see your pediatrician?
How long are you willing to wait to see the pediatrician of your choice? Do you have to make an appointment for a sick child? Can you always get in the day your child needs to be seen?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I waited about three hours yesterday to see the pediatrician. (Walsh and Lilina were both sick.)
I waited about that same amount of time last week when I took in Rose. Sadly, this is a fairly common amount of time to wait at my pediatrician’s office.
My pediatrician doesn’t make appointments to see the sick. He just says to bring them on in. So you know your child will always get help, but it’s a first-come, first-serve line. And there is always a line. (I’ve tried getting there before they open the office. You get a room when they open, but then you wait an hour for him to come in.)
I love my pediatrician. I trust my pediatrician. (He is literally my pediatrician from when I was a child.) But I’m just not sure I can bear to spend that much time waiting to see him anymore. I was ready to explode after killing three hours in a car and parking lot with two small children. (His staff lets me wait in my car or out front because they know I am a crazy germaphobe. They call me on my cell phone when it’s time to go back.)
His nurses are also great on the phone. They listen and give very good advice. Also he will call you after-hours if you really need him, and he’s always very nice about it.
I am very sentimental about this doctor, and I know he takes wonderful care of my children, but I can’t bear to wait another three hours to see him!
How long is a reasonable amount of time to wait to see a pediatrician? Does your pediatrician’s office make sick appointments? Do you always get in the day you need to see him/her? Will they let you wait in your car? How do you handle the waiting-room germs?
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Rainy morning presents perfect time for family Wii tourney
We spent some lazy time with sick kids playing in the basement during Christmas break. What did you do?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It was a cold rainy morning. There was no hope to play outside.
We sat at the breakfast table trying to decide what we could do for some family fun that day. My 7-and 5-year olds voted unanimously for a Wii tournament in the basement. The baby abstained.
While I changed the baby’s diaper, the rest of the family set up for the tournament — which meant they hunted down Wii controllers under a mass of toys. (We are still missing one.)
I came downstairs to find a makeshift ESPN studio. Rose and Walsh had built microphones from their new Tinkertoy set, and they began broadcasting a play-by-play of the tourney.
“Mom is trying to figure out how to connect the Wii controller to her wrist,” Rose reported. “Dad is having to help Mom.” “Mom is not quite sure which Mii is her on the screen. Here’s a hint Mom - you’re the girl.” They were even snarky like Dan Patrick and the gang.
Michael and I were up first with a little tennis. I had never played that particular game on the Wii. I’m pretty terrible on a real tennis court and proved equally bad on a virtual one. I didn’t know which court view on the split screen was mine. I also didn’t know which button I had to hit to return the ball. And I kept jerking my arm at a funny angle trying to serve. I don’t think I hit a single ball back in the lines.
In my defense, the baby was kicking a small soccer ball at me while I was playing the Wii tennis. So I was actually involved in two games at once. Quite frankly, I did better at the baby soccer.
Next up was family bowling. Even mothers who lack coordination can succeed at this game - although I needed a quickie class in how to release the ball. I was doing a full-on windmill. Michael told me to make that motion just a tiny bit smaller.
Despite being pretty adept at most games, Walsh was tanking on the bowling. He kept putting a spin on the ball and sending if off into the gutter every single time. He was getting angry. Even though the games are virtual, his unsportsmanlike conduct was real.
When I was a kid, if you didn’t like how a board game was going, you could always just pick it up and let all the pieces slide off. (I’m not saying I ever did that. I’m just saying it was an option.) Well, Walsh found the equivalent on the Wii. He knew which button on the controller to hit to reset it and kept trying to clear the whole game. It was a two-step process and Michael caught him each time before he managed to clear it.
When it wasn’t my turn to bowl, I played with the baby. We fed her new Bitty Baby and diapered her bunny. There’s nothing cuter than a floppy-eared baby bunny in diapers.
Lilina was fairly happy pursing her own agenda in the basement, but every now and again she would wander over and grab the Wii controller. She would swing it around in front of the TV like she was one of the big kids.
By the end of bowling I was injured. I was jerking my wrist funny releasing the bowling ball.
Cow racing, find the Miis, pool, table tennis, a tank game, and a laser version of the granddaddy of all video games, Pong, followed in quick succession.
The Miis are cute representations of people. You make a Mii of yourself when get the Wii and then you play most games as yourself. We have a Mii for everyone, including the baby.
You can also import Miis that other people have made. So we have Barack Obama, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and I regret to admit, Jesus. Walsh loves to play as Jesus. That’s blasphemous enough, but then he taunts people when he wins by saying “Praise me!” I told Michael to delete Jesus from the system immediately!
After nearly two hours, the Wii Tourney devolved into a wrestling match. Walsh attacked Dad and then Rose piled on. It was a lovely lazy morning spent in our pjs bowling, cow racing and stinking at tennis.
How did your family spend the Christmas break? Were you lazy or active? Did you go to museums, malls or jumpy places? You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com.
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