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December 2008
Is your New Year’s Eve party family-friendly?
Can you ring in the new year with your kids or is that an adults-only holiday?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our family has been invited to a family-friendly New Year’s Eve party. The invitation said no need to get a babysitter. All ages are welcome. They are planning dancing and singing in one room, a poker room for the dads in another area and a game room for the kids. They’re asking families to BYOB and to bring an appetizer to share. I think they’re planning to go pretty late, but I’m thinking I’m bringing my kiddies home around 10 p.m. But I do think it’s nice to have some place to celebrate with other families.
The story talks about family parties at aquariums, water parks, winter lodges and indoor carnivals, among many other locations.
Is your New Year’s Eve an adult-only holiday or can kids join the celebration? What are your plans with your kids? How late will you stay out with them? How old should they be to stay up until midnight? Do you worry about drunks on the road when you’re driving home?
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What to tell kids when a pet needs to be put to sleep?
My mother’s dog had to be put to sleep yesterday, and I had to tell the kids. How would you explain putting animals down to children?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We had a heated discussion yesterday about revealing plot points in the new movie “Marley and Me.” (I don’t think anyone was trying to blow a big secret. I think their point was it may not be appropriate for small children.) I have not read the book and have not seen the movie but I am assuming something bad happens to the cute dog.
Well, coincidentally, my mother’s dog, who she has had for 17 years, has been ill and had to put down yesterday. The dog was in kidney failure and wasn’t eating or using the bathroom. The dog has been blind for a while and has had other conditions the vet has been watching.
It was heartbreaking for my mother. She cried most of the day. (I was sad and crying too but not nearly as much as my poor mom.)
I wanted to let the kids know what was happening to the dog. I’m not a big fan of deceiving kids. I believe in giving them appropriate details. I wanted to give them a chance to say good-bye if they wanted to. I also didn’t want them looking for the dog a week from now saying, “Where in the world is Mimi’s dog?”
So I told them that Mimi’s dog was very ill and had to be taken to the vet. The vet was going to give the dog a shot to put her to sleep and then she would die. I told them the vet couldn’t make her feel better and she was suffering. I told them that doctors never did that to people so not to worry.
My 5-year-old understood what I told him and moved on. My 7-year-old daughter was very sad. She cried for a while. She said she didn’t want to say good-bye to the dog. I think she didn’t want to think about it anymore.
My brother hasn’t told his kids yet. I’m not sure what he’s planning to say.
Have you ever had to tell kids that their pet or a friend’s pet was going to be put to sleep? What words did you use? How much description did you give? Or do you prefer the old “the dog ran away” approach? How much transparency should you have with your children when bad or upsetting things happen?
Check out more information about pets on AJCPets
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Best and Worst Pop Culture in a Mom’s World 2008
One mom’s list of the top TV shows, movies, video games and books of 2008.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Tolerable” is often the highest praise parents can offer the children’s TV shows, movies, books or video games that they are forced to endure. So when parents find shows or games that the whole family can enjoy, we want to share!
Here’s my list of some of the best and worst TV shows, movies video games and books for kids in 2008. They aren’t necessarily new for this year, but they are things that my family discovered or enjoyed in the past 12 months. Please add your own favorites so other parents can have more options, especially with school out for the next week.
Best TV for elementary school students
Best baby/toddler TV
“Clifford” - My baby loves dogs, and the stories are always enjoyable and sweet.
Worst TV for kids
“Total Drama Island” -Just because it’s on Cartoon Network doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for kids! The show is actually a relatively clever parody of reality TV, but it’s full of mature themes and sexual innuendo
“Pokemon” (or any of the rip-offs like Naruto or Bakugan) - These shows are simply unwatchable. The stories make no sense. The animation is terrible. The voice talent is embarrassingly bad. The music is annoying. Worst of all, the whole industry is simply one big infomercial for cheap toys.
Best shows for moms
“The New Adventures of Old Christine” — If you want to make yourself feel better, just watch this show. Christine drives her child to school in her pajamas, thinks her gynecologist is hitting on her while examining her and is convinced a virus is actually hot flashes. Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ character is self-deprecating and honest in a way few TV women are.
“How I Met Your Mother” -This show is not really about being a mom, but it relaxes me for 30 minutes and reminds me of what my life was like pre-kids.
Best Movies
“Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” - I stayed behind with the baby for this one and now I’m sad I didn’t get to see it. Michael and the kids agreed it was hysterical. World-class comedians make this series funnier than most cartoons
“Kung Fu Panda” - Fun and funny, I am excited to see it on DVD again. Some of the fight scenes may be too intense for small children.
“High School Musical 3: Senior Year” - Michael and his friend took the oldest girls to see this, and Michael declared: “It wasn’t half as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
Worst Movie
“Speed Racer.” — Michael took the kids to see this one, too. Even though he loved the cartoon as a kid, he could barely sit through this version.
Video games
The Best
If you have to bring a video game system into the house, choose the Wii. It offers games you can play as a family and has some that involve exercise. Here are some we like:
Wii Sports - Golf and bowling are my favorites. We feel like the president having a bowling alley in our basement.
The Worst
Gears of War 2 - Don’t let this XBox 360 game in the house. Shooting your opponent is bad enough, but do you really need to saw him in half?
Mortal Kombat VS DC Universe - My 5-year-old would love to fight as Batman or Superman, but he doesn’t need to see a Japanese warrior rip the spine out of the Flash or knock Wonder Woman’s head off.
Best children’s books
“What the World Eats,” by Faith D’Alusisio - This eye-opening book examines what 25 families from around the world eat in one week. It has a photograph of each family and the food they live on for seven days. The disparity between nations is shocking. It also features lots of charts and graphs exploring mortality, literacy and obesity rates, plus the number of McDonald’s world-wide, among other things.
Magic Tree House series by Mary Pope Osborne - If you have a reader who is trying to ramp up into chapter books, this is an excellent series to get them going. They follow the adventures of a time-traveling brother and sister. The author weaves in history, science, geography and tall tales. I get sad when my daughter jumps ahead in the book without me!
“The Ultimate Interactive Atlas of Space,” from Scholastic. — My son chooses to read this book every night. The book is a fascinating study of all things space with lots for kids to move and touch. We don’t get bored and neither does he.
Please share your list of the Best and Worst Pop Culture in a Mom’s World!
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Family fun ideas for the holiday break
Super cute snowmen treats, winter indoor games and New Years Eve noisemakers are just a few of the fun things I have found for you to do with your kids!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’re feeling crafty at our house, and I want our family to spend part of the kids’ Christmas break making some cute art projects and cooking together. I’ve searched around for links to creative crafts, games and recipes and wanted to share with you what I have found.
This link takes you to bunches of kid-friendly baking ideas — not necessarily themed.
What will you be doing with your kids during their break from school? Share with us your favorite games, crafts and recipes.
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Is the Elf on the Shelf more trouble than he’s worth?
I know moms going to great extremes with their elves. Can’t they just sit there?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I know a lot of families who are really into the concept of the Elf on the Shelf. (Some of their elves are knock-offs but they serve the same purpose.)
But to me they seem to be a lot of trouble.
Some of the families have the elves pretend to do things. Sometimes they do good things — like clean up the house or do laundry. So the mom is up late setting up some scene where it looks like an elf is doing all the housework. (Some of you had a problem with Santa getting credit for buying all the gifts, now we’re going to give the elf credit for the housework.)
Other families I know have mischievous elves who are doing “bad” things around the house. They create messes — pull out clothes, turn over furniture.
One of my friends had the elf leave a mess of cereal on the counter like he was trying to make the kids breakfast. So the mom had to make a mess, clean the mess and then really make breakfast. I’m just not on board.
That same friend has a neighbor who has the elf that does the housework. My friend’s daughter was upset that their elf wasn’t also doing housework. She wondered if they were too bad for the elf to help. So this poor mother schlepped to the donut store early one morning and left donuts for the kids from the elf. She also left a note from the elf saying he just didn’t like housework. It wasn’t anything the kids had done wrong.
Really, do I need that kind of hassle?
I’m all for the elf sitting quietly observing and reporting back to Santa Claus. The elf and I don’t need to have any contact. He’s just an observer in the house, not a participant.
What does your elf do in your house? Is he worth the trouble?
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A baby prison break!
How do stop babies from climbing out of their cribs? When is it time for a toddler bed, and when do you tent them in?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s a noise that a mother doesn’t easily forget — the “thud” of her child climbing up and then falling out of his crib.
My now 5-year-old son figured out how to escape around 12 months old. I didn’t expect it because our oldest child had never even attempted a prison break.
The thud of him falling was so loud it woke me up in our bedroom down the hall. I startled awake and knew immediately he had fallen. He figured out how to get up and over the top rail but had no plans for the other side. So he just dropped to the ground.
I have been watching our 21-month-old baby experimenting in her crib for the last few weeks and knew her first escape would come soon.
She had been pushing her arms down as hard as she could on the top rail trying to lift herself over. Then she would wrap her toes around the curved spindles of the crib trying to climb out. When she couldn’t get any traction there, she moved on to an impressive karate-style sideways kick to swing her leg up and over the rail.
None of her earlier moves actually secured her escape last Wednesday night. It was a new plan that I hadn’t seen before. I know the move now because she demonstrated it after her successful break out. She does the sideway kick but hooks her toes on the top of the thin metal pole that the front of the crib raises up and down on. Then using that leg for leverage, she pulls herself up and over.
Her “thud” didn’t sound the same as my son’s. She sounded more like a gymnast landing a vault — a loud but solid hit and definitely all foot, no head. (I’m pretty sure my son landed on his head.)
Once she hit the ground, she was on the move immediately. She opened her own bedroom door, (Didn’t really know she could do that either — more ways we are in trouble!) and came running down the hall to our room screeching. She wanted to with us and was so proud of herself that she had escaped.
Normally a great sleeper, Lilina had been having a tough week. She had been taking medicine to help clear out her lungs, and it was wiring her. Usually Lilina goes right to sleep. I rock her a few minutes, kiss her good night, tell her I love her and lay her in her crib and she’s out. All week she had been crying and eventually coming into our bed where I could listen to her breathing and comfort her.
I had been sick all week too, and by that Wednesday night I needed her to stay in her crib so we both could get a good night’s sleep. My husband and I had both rocked her over and over again that night. She would fall asleep but then wake as soon as we put in her the crib. After literally hours of trying to get her to sleep I finally left her crying in her crib and went to lie down in my own bed. That was when I heard the “thud” and her joyful cries coming down the hall.
I ended up sleeping with her on the floor of her bedroom that night.
So what do you do when your child can escape the crib? It’s too dangerous just to let them climb out at will. Do you go ahead and put them into a toddler bed or do you try to contain them in their crib with a little invention known as the crib tent?
My son was way too young to put in a toddler bed, plus Rose was still in it when he started his prison breaks. So I had not choice but to try out the crib tent.
For the uninitiated, the crib tent (the brand I use is Cozy Crib Tent II) is mesh fabric that completely surrounds the inside of the crib even going under the mattress. It vaults up like a tent. It hooks all around the crib on the outside to keep it secure and then zips in the raised portion. The tent never seemed to bother him and kept him in his crib for almost two more years.
I feel like Lilina is also too small to roam her room at night. But I was worried she wouldn’t accept being tented in knowing she could escape.
I bought a tent the next day. And she was not happy about it that night. She screamed and cried. It was a terrible night, and I finally ended up sleeping with her on the floor again.
She did sleep in the tent for nap the next day without much fight. However, she came down with a fever after the nap. I’m still trying to decide if she had an independent moment or just didn’t feel well.
For the last few nights she’s been getting back to her normal pattern of sleeping even under the tent. And I’m definitely sleeping more soundly knowing that once again she’s safe.
Did you have jailbreaks from your crib? How young were they? Did you move them toddler beds or try the tent? Is it mean to tent them in? What are other options for parents with escaping toddlers?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com
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Moms share your favorite holiday recipes
Got a cake to die for or an appetizer that’s easy and divine. The moms of Atlanta want to know those recipes, so cough ’em up!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve had bunches of requests for a day to share recipes, so here it is!
However, before we get started I need to tell you that the AJC is super picky about the recipes they generally run. They have to be tested, and they have to include all their nutrition information. So I might get into trouble since these are clearly rogue recipes. I cannot vouch for them in anyway. The AJC is not responsible for how well they turn out. Please use common sense when evaluating these recipes!
So without further ado, here are two recipes to get us started.
New Mom posted her triple chocolate cake recipe a few days ago and JJ has already adjusted it slightly and reposted. In case you missed it, here is JJ’s version of New Mom’s recipe:
1 box devils food cake mix
1 small box chocolate instant pudding
1 12 oz bag chocolate chips
1-3/4 C milk
2 eggs
Mix all ingredients together. Add the chocolate chips last, easier to stir (I stirred by hand).
Pour the mixture into a Bundt cake pan, bake at 350-degrees.
I ended up baking it 65 minutes. New Mom said to cook for 55minutes to an hour, but I ended up putting it back in for 10 minutes.
Also, her recipe did not add any vegetable oil. I ALWAYS thought you had to have oil in ALL cake recipes. I added about 1 tablespoon after it was all mixed up and in the pan. That may be why it took longer to cook.
If you serve it warm, the choc chips will be mushy. I prefer mine in the fridge for a couple of hours for the chips to harden up.
I have a super easy one to throw out too. MOMania’s fill-in host Keith told me this one yesterday on the phone. It came from her mom-friend Andi. It’s a great recipe for school parties, cookie swaps or last-minute presents.
1 bag of square pretzels
2 bags of red and white peppermint-flavored Hershey’s Kisses (I can’t find these on the Hershey’s site but Keith witnessed them with her own eyes so I guess they are being sold. But I think any small piece of chocolate would do.)
1 bag of red and green M&M’s
Cover the bottom of a brownie-type baking pan with a single layer of pretzels. Put one Kiss on top of each pretzel. Heat in a 250-degree oven until the Kiss gets mushy. You don’t want it to melt through the pretzel. You just want it to get soft. Pull them out of the oven and press one M&M on top of each Kiss. The Kiss should press down flat onto the pretzel. Let cool and it will all harden together. Keith said they were very tasty!
So, here’s your chance. Tell us your favorite, your fastest, your easiest, your get-you-out-of-a-pinch, your best recipes!
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Would you rather give up the Internet or sex?
A new survey says almost 50 percent of woman would take the Web over the bed. How about you?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The study asked more than 2,000 adults what they would rather give up for a period of two weeks, the Internet or sex.
The Daily News reports: “The survey also found:
58 percent of adults would give up watching TV for two weeks rather than have to give up Internet access for only one week
65 percent of adults said they cannot live without Internet access.”
Would you rather have: the Internet or sex? What could you give up easily for two weeks? What could you never give up for two weeks?
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Will your Ex be there Christmas morning?
Madonna and Guy Ritchie have decided to spend Christmas together for the kids. Could you be that graceful? Would it get ugly?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How do you handle the holidays with your ex? Do you ever try to spend it together under one roof? What about the running the kids back and forth?
Where does Santa leave the stuff? Does the ex get to see the kids open presents Christmas morning? Could the ex stay in a guest bedroom to be in the house when the kids get up? Do you swap off year-to-year so each gets a chance to see them find their presents?
How do you and your ex handle the holidays? Would it be worth it to the kids to really be gracious and include the ex Christmas morning?
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Saving faith in Santa Claus
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS COLUMN IS NOT FOR KIDS! IT REVEALS SOME IMPORTANT CHRISTMAS DETAILS YOU MAY NOT WANT YOUR KIDS TO KNOW!
It takes a lot of commitment from parents to maintain the illusion that a fat man in a red suit circles the globe with a team of flying reindeer to deliver presents to children all over the world in just one night.
It’s not an easy story to sell, especially as your kids get older. But is it worth going the extra mile to keep your children believing just a little longer?
My mother sure thought so. She was hard-core about keeping Santa alive for us. She did the normal stuff like eat all the cookies and drink the milk, take us to see Santa and talk about him coming a lot.
But her finest, most committed move, came when my brother was about 8 and starting to doubt. She stamped big work boots in the soot in the fireplace and tracked ash footprints all over her family room carpet to prove that Santa Claus had come.
It worked, and my brother believed until the fifth grade when a very mean nun told him outright in Sunday School that there was NO Santa Claus.
My mom remembers he came home sat in her lap and just cried his eyes out.
He asked her “If there’s not a Santa Claus does that mean there’s not an Easter Bunny and not a Tooth Fairy.” His whole little world just crashed in that one day.
My brother’s daughter is 7 and has been questioning this flying reindeer and fat man story for the last few years. My brother and sister-in-law are crafty about convincing her to believe.
When my niece was doubting the flying reindeer my sister-in-law looked up stories and evidence of them online and showed her. This seemed to reassure her.
Last year my sister-in-law “found” a jingle bell left behind by Santa’s sleigh as further evidence that he exists. My niece has the bell by the mantle ready for Santa to “pick up.”
However, my niece has put her foot down about that Elf on the Shelf story. She said she’ll believe in Santa Claus, but she’s not buying that the elf comes to life and reports back to Santa. My sister-in-law had to give in on that one. She said OK, you’re right but please don’t tell your brother. He’s going to bed so nicely.
The NORAD site that tracks Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve has helped in our both our houses. My 7-year-old daughter was having some doubts last year but showing her that radar site cinched the deal for a little bit longer.
And just this week, I received an e-mail from a company called Santa Speaking. The company provides live calls from Santa Claus. They pitch it as a way to avoid going to the mall Santa who probably doesn’t know if your child has been naughty or nice. (You provide “safe” amounts of info to the company beforehand so the call is personalized.) But I think parents might want to use this more when their kids are starting to doubt.
Despite many parents’ best efforts to preserve their child’s innocent belief in Santa, there is always at least one big mouth in a class trying to blow the lid off the cover-up.
My husband was just that kid in a kindergarten class in Augusta in 1975.
Michael says his mother told him when he was 4 there was no Santa Claus. They were in a store and he pointed to something he liked. She said it was too much and he said that was OK because it wasn’t like birthdays where parents had to pay. Santa Claus would buy it for him. He claims his mother looked him in the eye and told him right there at 4 years old there was NO Santa Claus.
From that point out he saw it as his duty to shed light on this terrible scam. He says in kindergarten he was a muckraker working to expose this racket that made poor kids feel bad about themselves.
He would tell children: “Do you think Santa Claus didn’t like the poor kids as much as the rich and that’s why they got fewer presents? No, your parents just couldn’t afford to buy as much.”
As a first-grade teacher, my sister in law deals with kids like my husband all the time. She has the greatest reply to children who ask her if parents are actually Santa Claus.
She tells them “When children do not believe, Santa Claus does not come. Parents have to give presents to those who don’t believe. But if children do believe, then Santa Claus comes.”
For parents who are wondering if preserving their children’s faith in Santa is worth the effort, I offer this comparison.
My brother, who didn’t find out until the fifth grade, absolutely adores Christmas and is joyful from Halloween until after New Year. He loves the holiday and makes it extremely special for his children.
My husband on the other hand who found out at age 4 pretty much hates Christmas and is Grinch-like the entire season. His mom ruined it for him so he’s still trying to ruin it for others.
How much effort do you make to preserve your child’s faith in Santa Claus? When did you find out and how? How and when did your kids find out? Do you think a belief in Santa Claus adds to the Christmas spirit?
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Will the recession delay your baby plans?
Economic downturns generally trigger declines in fertility. Has the bad economy made you think twice about adding to your family?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jessica Guynn writes: “As the financial crisis reverberates through Wall Street, Washington and beyond, it is taking a personal toll on couples who are making the painful decision to postpone starting — or growing — their families. Once hopeful about their ability to provide for children, prospective parents are now filled with gnawing doubts as jobs vanish, retirement savings dwindle and housing prices fall — even as the cost of having and raising a child rises…”
“Baby booms and busts are reliable, if lagging, economic indicators, intertwined with the rise and fall of the nation’s fortunes. For three-quarters of a century, economic downturns have triggered declines in the U.S. fertility rate, which, at about two children per woman, is the highest among rich nations. The fertility rate hit its post-World War II low of 1.7 in 1976, after the oil shortage and a severe recession.”
“With the country in a recession since December 2007, accompanied by a stock market plunge and growing numbers of people losing their jobs and homes, 8 in 10 Americans say they are anxious about the economy, a recent survey by the American Psychological Assn. showed.”
Demographers say it’s too early to tell how the anxiety will affect the birthrate but they’ll know in about nine months.
The article says that fertility specialists are already seeing a decline in clients willing to pay large sums of money to get pregnant.
Has the economy affected your plans to get pregnant? Will you put off a second or a third child until the economy is more stable? Have you put off in-vitro or adoption due to high costs? How has the economy affected your family planning?
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Which teachers can you leave OFF your gift list?
My list for teachers’ gifts is getting a little out of hand, but who do you cut out?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I feel like it’s very important to let teachers know you appreciate how hard they are working with your child so I do like to give teachers good Christmas presents. However, as my list is growing longer and longer, I am wondering who I can leave off.
Obviously I’m going to do the main classroom teachers and for my kindergartner his para-pro (Actually a secondary question is this: If you contribute to a class fund for a present, do you still give an individual gift?) And I always do the bus driver. (You’re trusting this person with you’re child’s life!)
But what about the specials teachers (art, music, PE)? What about the gifted teachers that my daughter sees every day for an hour? There are three of them. What about the school nurse who cleaned up my daughter’s throw up last year? What about the school secretary who deals with my crazy questions so patiently?
Do you gift the school of religion teachers at your church or synagogue? Do you do the assistant teacher too?
Where does it all end? How much do you spend on each person? How much less should a para-pro or an assistant get? (Another side note here: And what about my babysitters? I pay them well and often give a little extra if everyone is asleep and the house isn’t a wreck. Do I need to give them a present too?)
My sister-in-law who is a teacher offered a good suggestion. She said maybe hit some of the periphery teachers during teacher appreciation week later in the year. Most parents would probably be feeling less of a financial pinch then.
So tell me your plan. Who are you gifting and how much? What’s your cut off? And what about those babysitters?
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Whose Wii is it really?
Report shows that 66 percent of parents are gamers. Are you?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A study from The Pew Internet and American Life Project shows that 53 percent of all American adults age 18 and older play some form of video game on some kind of device.
Ars Technica, a technology web site, reports:
“Across all demographic groups, around 20 percent of respondents play games at least once a day. That is, until you look at seniors, where 36 percent of respondents game at least once a day.”
“Parents have an excuse to buy games and systems, and they take advantage of it: parents are 19 percent more likely to play games on a console, and 10 percent more likely to game on a desktop or laptop computer. Younger parents are also more likely to make gaming a family affair, as 40 percent of parents aged 40 or younger play games with their kids.”
My family totally falls into these statistics. We are under 40 and we definitely play video games with our kids. I took time out from making that turkey on Thanksgiving to learn about Leggo Batman (I’m not really sure it is OK to kill a Lego man — pretty sure that’s still violence.) Also later that weekend, got my butt kicked by husband at a Wii trivia game show. However, I did quite well on the golf target practice game.
I don’t play it often but my husband is on frequently with my son and our 7-year-old has certain games she really enjoys. Michael rented a Disney singing game for her over Thanksgiving that she loved.
What about you: Is that Wii or X-Box really for you or for your kids? Who plays on it more? Do you play it with your kids? Where do you fall into these stats?
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‘Tis the season for children singing and dancing on stage
Will they actually sing the songs? Will their costumes stay on? What extras will they add to the performance?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Whether they’re dressed like pilgrims, shepherds, little angels or sheep, it’s always a thrill, and in our case sometimes worrisome, to see your children take to the stage.
Our 7-year-old Rose has always been a solid performer. When she was very little she might not sing all the words or do all the hand motions but she was always on task. As a second-grader, she is top-notch — recently portraying Europe and the Volga River in a class geography production.
Our 5-year-old son, however, is a wild card. You absolutely never know what kind of performance you’re going to get out of him. Grandparents show up just to partake in the spectacle known as Walsh.
Last year, as you may recall, he was demoted in the preschool Christmas performance from wise man to shepherd because he refused to practice. During the show, he stood on the end of an aisle allowing him to wander. He walked back a few steps to examine lit candles. He tried to scoot next to his “girlfriend.” He continued to sing and do the hand motions throughout all of his extra-curricular activities.
Several parents who saw him in preschool shows attend our elementary school and were excited to see what he would bring to the kindergarten stage.
They got their chance a few weeks ago when we attended his kindergarten production of “Turkey Tunes and Thankful Thoughts.” Our daughter sang in this production two years before, but with Walsh we knew it would be a different show.
He could do all the songs and hand motions at home, but the question was: What else would he do while on stage?
He marched in cute as a button in his pilgrim outfit. I’m always amazed what teachers can make from some white garbage bags (aprons for the lady pilgrims) and some construction paper — hats, little arm cuffs, large white square collars.
He started out adorable, but much like Janet Jackson, he had a few costume malfunctions. As he sung and swung his arms enthusiastically to the music, he kept whacking his hat off of his head, and his little white cuffs repeatedly slipped off his tiny wrists.
His best little buddy in the class helped him several times by retrieving his hat in between songs and placing it back on his head. But in his best Tony-award-winning, large-arm-motion performance he knocked it off over and over again. Finally, his little buddy gave up.
I guess they we’re being kind placing Walsh next to his best friend in the class, however, he hugged him, chatted with him and made eyes at him in between each song.
If we learned nothing else in preschool, we learned don’t ever put Walsh on a corner during a performance. He needs to be blocked in between other children so he can’t wander the stage area. This year, he was on the front row on the corner, on the cafeteria floor and not a riser. His position was perfect for exploring.
He turned around to examine his fellow pilgrims and Indians. He sidled over to a mom that he knew, a friend of mine thank goodness, who was on the front row. In all his excitement, he kept getting right in this poor mother’s face between songs telling her what was coming up next. She was very kind about it.
In one part of the show that had a rap beat to it, he started “popping and locking.” I have no idea where he learned this but he was actually pretty good at it. He really looked like a little robot.
I don’t think Walsh was trying to be bad. I just think he gets excited about performing. It will be a sad day when he actually stands up there and only does what they tell him to do.
How do your kids do in performances? Are they too shy to sing along? Do they hide in the back? Or are they right up front singing loud and clear? Do they ever get distracted from the task at hand?
And we would love to see your little darlings in action. Please submit photos from your child’s school or church holiday play.
You can reach Theresa Walsh Giarrusso at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas are always welcome!
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How many presents per child?
How many gifts should kids get during the holidays? How does divorce affect your present number?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I received a note from a divorced mother of two (6 and 2) who was perturbed at another divorced mother for suggesting that she was giving her children too few presents for Christmas. Here’s some of her note:
“I’m in the process of getting to know another divorce mom (name S) and our conversation turned towards Christmas shopping and gifts for our sons. She has one son, age 6 who attends my 6 y.o.’s school. … When she asked about my shopping, I announced very proudly that I had my shopping budget down to $125 as I was only giving gifts to children this year; that I did not have a lot of money out of my budget. BTW I already announced to my 6 y.o. that I would only be able to give one gift this year because we are on a tight budget.”
“S was a bit shocked that my shopping budget was low and asked how many gifts was I going to give to my boys. I responded one gift to each of them and one to two nephews and one niece. She went on a monologue about her shopping for her son. He will get about six gifts from her, about six gifts from Santa, and then her parents had already purchased a Wii game and the Nintendo DS for him. She said she started shopping back in August and that she always makes a big deal about Christmas.”
“So I responded that my boys have always received plenty of gifts from me and family members and that I’ve never wanted to overwhelm them at Christmas. … ”
“I would like to know from a neutral standpoint how many gifts are too many gifts to give to one child? In my humble opinion I really think 4 or 5 gifts from mom and Santa should be sufficient considering your child is going to receive gifts from grandparents on both sides, aunts/uncles, and other relatives and friends. I do not in the least bit feel inadequate about my low budget, however I think it may come off that way because I’m refuting/discussing the number of gifts from a budgetary perspective. Nor do I feel jealous or envy that her child is blessed. I have a doctorate in education and can attest to different ways to raise and praise your child. And, I have not gone into the discussion about the meaning of Christmas or the tirades of consumerism because I don’t know S’s religion. .. Another mom friend of mine told me she gave her two kids 3 gifts each because the 3 wise men gave baby Jesus a gift.”
OK guys, what do you think? How many presents are appropriate to give a child? How does divorce affect your total — guilt giving, competing with the other side, or knowing the other side will give a lot so you don’t have to? How do the totals expected from grandparents and other relatives affect your total and Santa’s total?
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Could college abroad actually save you money?
Pull out your kilts, the Scottish schools are calling, along with many others. Get a top flight education for less than top private American universities. But can American helicopter parents let go?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The New York Times reports there’s been an increase in American students choosing to do all their college studies abroad. Besides getting an excellent education (sometimes when they couldn’t get into Harvard they can get into a top European school), it also often costs less than a top private university in the States. Here’s the full story.
Times writer Tamar Lewin reports: “For American students, a university like St. Andrews offers international experience and prestige, at a cost well below the tuition at a top private university in the United States. But it provides a narrower, more specialized course of studies, less individual attention from professors — and not much of an alumni network to smooth entry into the workplace when graduates return to the United States. For overseas universities, international students help diversify campuses in locations as remote as coastal Fife, home of St. Andrews. …”
“Just as important, foreigners are cash cows. While students from Scotland and England and across the European Union pay little or no tuition at St. Andrews, Americans pay about what they would as out-of-state students at leading American public universities. …”
“Expatriate education is expanding. This fall, at the National Association for College Admissions Counseling conference in Seattle, where admissions officers from American universities mingle with the counselors who help shape high school students’ college choices, there were representatives from the University of Waikato in New Zealand, Seoul National University in South Korea, Jacobs University Bremen in Germany, the University of Limerick in Ireland, as well as dozens more from Canada and Britain. …”
The story points out the Scottish schools specialize earlier so students don’t have to take classes in subjects they don’t like or aren’t good in. However, students don’t have close relationships with their professors and often receive little feedback on their work.
While it may be less expensive than a top-flight private university, there is a big adjustment to being that far away from your family as well as adjusting to the rigors of college. Also you can drink at a younger age — that could be good or bad.
I studied only a summer abroad as a junior in college and do remember being homesick and missing terribly my then boyfriend (now husband).
What do you think: Would studying abroad be a solid choice for your student? Would they do well being that far away? Would it increase their chances of a better education at a more affordable rate? Could American helicopter parents let go enough to let them go? Would you feel safe with them in Europe?
Permalink | Comments (42) | Post your comment | Categories: Education
Would you test your child’s genes for athletic ability?
Would little Johnny make a better runner or weight lifter? A company claims its gene test can tell you.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The New York Times reports that a company out of Boulder, Colo., will now test your child’s DNA for a specific gene that it says can help predict your child’s natural athletic abilities. Here’s the full story.
Times writer Juliet Macur reports: “In health-conscious, sports-oriented Boulder, Atlas Sports Genetics is playing into the obsessions of parents by offering a $149 test that aims to predict a child’s natural athletic strengths. The process is simple. Swab inside the child’s cheek and along the gums to collect DNA and return it to a lab for analysis of ACTN3, one gene among more than 20,000 in the human genome.”
“The test’s goal is to determine whether a person would be best at speed and power sports like sprinting or football, or endurance sports like distance running, or a combination of the two. A 2003 study discovered the link between ACTN3 and those athletic abilities.”
“In this era of genetic testing, DNA is being analyzed to determine predispositions to disease, but experts raise serious questions about marketing it as a first step in finding a child’s sports niche, which some parents consider the road to a college scholarship or a career as a professional athlete.”
“Atlas executives acknowledge that their test has limitations but say that it could provide guidelines for placing youngsters in sports. The company is focused on testing children from infancy to about 8 years old because physical tests to gauge future sports performance at that age are, at best, unreliable. …”
“Dr. Stephen M. Roth, director of the functional genomics laboratory at the University of Maryland’s School of Public Health who has studied ACTN3, said he thought the test would become popular. But he had reservations.”
“ ‘The idea that it will be one or two genes that are contributing to the Michael Phelpses or the Usain Bolts of the world I think is shortsighted because it’s much more complex than that,’ he said, adding that athletic performance has been found to be affected by at least 200 genes.”
I try to not pass judgment on stuff until you guys get a chance to comment, but this story really bothers me.
I am a huge believer in letting kids try to a bunch of different things and see what they like and where they excel. I am not a big fan of the predestined to do anything. Who knows where the world will lead you and where you will develop a talent? Who knows who or what will influence the person your child becomes? I can’t imagine, even if they developed a 100-percent accurate test, telling a child at a young age “Your genes say you’ll be good at X so you’re doing that.”
The article gives an example of a Spanish long jumper who didn’t have the gene variant that should have indicated his success yet, he is an Olympic athlete. The article goes on to say that environment, training, nutrition and luck also contributes to an athlete’s successful performance.
What do you think? Would you or your husband be interested in having your children’s genes tested for athletic abilities? (The price isn’t that high, and the test isn’t painful.) What would you do with the results of the test? Would you only allow them to do the sports the gene test indicated success in?
Permalink | Comments (40) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
