MOMania

By Numbers Guy

December 10, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

The boy goes to private school, and there are about 5 teachers between the classroom teacher and the specials. We’ll be covering them all, but this is a pretty good group of parents, and so there will be some cooperation and group gifting. No bus driver, as we drive him there.

I don’t believe we’ve ever had a babysitter, since we have a ton of family on the area. Now, family gifts, that gets pricey.

By Deeola

December 10, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Yes, i see nothing wrong with showing your appreciation

By lakerat

December 10, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Why do you feel the need to buy them something to show you appreciate them? Just tell them that you appreciate them, or better yet why not have your kids make cards saying thank you…..why you feel the need to spend money on people who are already getting paid to teach your kids is beyond me.

By Katie

December 10, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

My daughter is in a special needs preschool. She has an a teacher, 2 teacher’s aides, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, a bus driver, an aide for the bus, and there is the bus coordinator. In my mind, I think these people ALL deserve gifts because what they do helps my daughter an our family. Without their hard word and dedication, my daughter would not be thriving as much as she is. Most of the time these people deal with a lot of stress.

Money may be tight for us, but I have saved up enough to atleast get them something for Christmas. I just want to let these wonderful people know they are appreciated.

By lakerat

December 10, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

I’m so much better than teachers.

By SouthFultonMom

December 10, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Lakerat do you have kids? Teaching is the most unappreciated job in America. Go into any classroom today and you will discover teachers spending their own money to teach your child. This is an unfair expectation and I certainly don’t mind letting them know that I appreciate it. Of course I am speaking from experience. I taught many years before deciding to leave the classroom.

I give every teacher a small gift, this includes specials (the most unappreciated teachers in a building!) And yes, I taught fine arts!

You can put together some really nice things shopping at discount stores. I’ve done dollar store gifts. One year I bought $1 mugs and filled them with hot chocolate packets, chocolate candy and peppermint. As a teacher I appreciated every gift that I was ever given. It was truly the thought that counted!

My favorite gifts were ornaments. I have every ornament I’ve ever been given from a student as far back as 1995. Love ‘em!

By The "lakerat" imposter...

December 10, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

…is having a manic/depressive day - one vent is somehat, though not totally, civil, then he reverts to his usual self!

Signed - the “original” lakerat!

By MILF Hunter

December 10, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Teachers are great MILFS….if you do something wrong they make you do it all over again.

By FCM

December 10, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

My mother taught for a number of years, she liked the ornaments…she hated the scented bath stuff. The family liked the baked goods!

I will probably bake something for the homeroom teachers and a few other key school developers in my children’s lives.

If I contribute to the class gift, I will not send in something extra. I usually just contribute to the end of year gift.

Sunday school teachers do make my list…they often rotate and the church even encourages you NOT to send cards to congregants.

Babysitters are DIFFERENT…I always got a ‘bonus’ when I sat throughout the holidays (not to mention higher rates applied during Christmas and New Years). I would pay $8/hour right now and $20 bonus for a sitter on Saturday night or New Years.

By FCM

December 10, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

My mother taught for a number of years, she liked the ornaments…she hated the scented bath stuff. The family liked the baked goods!

I will probably bake something for the homeroom teachers and a few other key school developers in my children’s lives.

If I contribute to the class gift, I will not send in something extra. I usually just contribute to the end of year gift.

Sunday school teachers do make my list…they often rotate and the church even encourages you NOT to send cards to congregants.

Babysitters are DIFFERENT…I always got a ‘bonus’ when I sat throughout the holidays (not to mention higher rates applied during Christmas and New Years). I would pay $8/hour right now and $20 bonus for a sitter on Saturday night or New Years.

Oh and I do not do less for a Para-Pro…they often work HARDER than the teacher

By The "Real" lakerat

December 10, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

I agree with myself if you as a teacher feel underappreciated than maybe you should have chosen a different career. You are already compensated for your time with what we call a salary. If you don’t like it or if you feel underappreciated, you can always quit.

By Numbers Guy

December 10, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Let me get this straight. You propose to hand your child - the most important thing in your life - off to someone for 6-7 hours a day, knowing they likely make less than the guy who hauls off your garbage, and then ignore them at Christmas time.

Wow.

By Joyce

December 10, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

I don’t have to worry about sitters, as I belong to a babysitting co-op. As far as teachers go, we’re doing baked goods for classroom teacher, ESOL teacher and the specials at school as well as the religion teacher at church.

Wow! I need to get going on another batch of Candy Cane bark!

By SmartAce

December 10, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

This topic is not as fun as the one yesterday was…LOL.

I have the utmost respect for teachers and my wife and I plan to get a little something for each of the two Pre-K teachers as well as the my son’s daycare teachers.

It takes a lot of patience to deal with kids today. Teachers deserve every bit of our respect.

By hackalert

December 10, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

How much less should a para-pro or an assistant get?

you dont question whether it should be less or not, you only question by how much less it should be.

get them gifts, dont get them gifts, but dont treat the paras and the assistants like second class citizens because of of a lesser education. oh wait, your a snob, I forgot. your gift giving is not going to impress anyone, oh and good job injecting that your kid is gifted, smooth!, obnoxious, but smooth… please tell me the AJC does not pay this pretensious (sp) hack for this garbage!

By new mom

December 10, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

So far, we only have our two gymboree teachers, and I have a little something for each of them. That might sound silly, but our 14 mth old has really bonded with both—and both ladies really care about her. And are probably quite underpaid! ;)

I also plan to do something for our church nursery staff, but I’m not sure what yet. There are so many great volunteers there, I can’t get something for all of them. I might bake a big batch of cookies…hmmm, what could I put them in that wouldn’t be a waste…how bout a diaper pail? ;) Any suggestions?

As a former elementary teacher, I can tell you that I had enough smelly lotions to stock a store! The best gifts I received were: gift certificates for a mani/pedi, a box of dry erase markers, and most cherished of all—hand written notes of appreciation from children and parents.

The nicest thing I ever received was a letter a parent wrote to my principal about me. She gave me a copy and sent it to the school board too. That will stay in my ‘I need some encouragement today’ folder. (btw, every teacher I know has one of those…) Even though I don’t teach anymore, I still occasionally go through that folder when I’ve had a rough day.

By SouthFultonMom

December 10, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

real lakerat you should learn how to read.

I taught many years before deciding to leave the classroom.

By Mr. Nice Guy

December 10, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

My mother was a teacher - when I was a kid we never gave our teachers gifts…. I never gave my kids teachers gifts either.

It doesn’t mean anything; materialism doesn’t mean anything. Send them a card or tell them in person you appreciate them. Do not associate spending/materialism during an economic downturn as a true way to show appreciation.

Or, just keep on blowing money…

By The "Real" lakerat

December 10, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

SouthFultonMom -

Apparently you are the one that doesn’t know how to read. What a wasted education you must have provided. I said if you felt underappreciated, which you actually said that you did, than you probably should have chosen a different career.

I also see that you are no longer teaching. I guess feeling underappreciated made you quit. good for you for growing a brain.

By SouthFultonMom

December 10, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Lake RatActually I quit to be a full time mom. But, oh, how do you argue with idiots! Whatever response you give won’t be read by me!

By SouthFulton Mom - please

December 10, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

don’t feed the “lakerat” troll also, today, known as the “real” lakerat. When he is off his medication he comes in trying to be rude, hoping that people respond.

Today, as pointed out earlier, he is manic/ depressive, and also schizphrenic - going by MILF and SmartAce! Just leave his lunacy on these pages!

For whatever reason he has a real dislike for the original lakerat and tries to hurt her - oh well, whatever blows his skirt up!

By b

December 10, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

I contributed to a group gift in elementary school but once we hit middle school, it was only if my child really wanted to do something for a teacher. For those that do something for every teacher and parapro; what are you going to do in middle school and high school when your child may have 6 or 8 teachers! Occasionally my daughter wanted to do something for a special high school teacher-one that had gone above and beyond, and I would usually get a gift certificate. I also expected her to write a note to express her thanks. My younger is in middle school and usually asks for that one teacher who has really made a difference. We also give something to his tutor along with a note from him expressing his thanks. It needs to mean something to both the student and the teacher, not just a “duty” gift.

By Dawn of a New Day

December 10, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

I don’t get this at all. Both of my parents are retired teachers. They never received gifts from parents for doing their job. Looks like a kiss up tactic to me. Aren’t things monetarily hard enough? Everybody is cutting back on spending and now there is “concern” about which TEACHER not to buy for? Will your children be treated differently if you don’t buy for that teacher? Give me a break!

By Elaine

December 10, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

I am a former teacher and the gifts that meant the most were ones I could tell were from the students.

While a gift from the parent is nice and certainly appreciated, it means a whole lot to receive something from the child. And by “something” I mean a note or a handmade card or something small that the child select him/herself.

Really, it’s the notes that mean the most.

Theresa, if you’re wondering, a home-baked cookie attached to a note of appreciation from you would be really touching to any teacher.

By LM

December 10, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Elaine

It is nice to hear that. My daughter had a teacher in who made us feel special. He took an interest in what was going on in her life and also at home. When there was an issue in 1st grade he stepped in and got her ready for second grade. In third grade he sat her down and explained to her home work was her job not mine (to this day I never check her homework). When she moved on to middle school she wrote him a note expressing her appreciation for all he had done for her. We ran into him a couple of years ago, he said he read that note in a teacher meeting and it brought tears to teachers eyes.

He will always be the reason for my daughters success in school. To this day I owe him a debt of gratitude I can never pay.

By motherjanegoose

December 10, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Re: home baked gifts…read the related blog by Jeanne Gesser ( sp?) last week on the left top…the answer is NO!

Lots of them end up in the trash.

In the for what it’s worth department…

I have ALWAYS given gifts…even take them to the HS office as my kids do not want to bring them in for obvious reasons.

This year, it will be 7 plus 2 Sunday School teachers , as I only have one living at home.

Usually spend between $7 and $10 per person. I am ALL for CLASS gift cards…if everyone chipped in $3 you could have a $50 gift card for a restaurant for the teacher.

It is SO much easier when someone organizes this but then again you have to find an organizer….I did it for years and got stiffed until I signed only the names of those who actually contributed ( this was mentioned when the idea was started) and not the names of those who said they would get me the money but never would.

I know that will make some of you mad but until you have been stiffed many times you will not understand that some people get life and some float along on good wishes and no follow up. Like the ones who attend all parties but never host one at their house…hello?

Movie tickets are GREAT…even if you only give ONE…it is a treat for the teacher,

Dawn of the New Day… if your parents never received any presents then this tells a lot about them. I do not know a single teachers who has never received a present…were they that bad?

I have ornaments on my tree from 1983- 1998 all given to me by students.
I also have a framed watercolor that was given as a class gift…I look at it every day.

I taught at private schools both in Texas and in Atlanta. These folks were already shelling out monthly tuition yet they still were classy enough to give small,medium and large gifts. Is it all about the gifts themselves…NO…it is all about the parents appreciating you enough to want to give you a gift.

Gifts are certainly NOT mandatory but a kind and supportive gesture. No different from giving your mail carrier or paper person something.

I do not know my paper person but I always give our mail carrier (Wayne) a restaurant gift card. He is very careful with my mail and goes above and beyond!

When we lived in Texas, we knew where our mail carrier lived and I would bring him fresh steaks from the butcher. To me, it is a matter of showing appreciation to those who are part of your daily life and who you depend on.

Babysitters who are appreciated should be tipped. There is a lot of competition out there and if your children are busy bodies and the babysitter takes extra good care of your precious children then he/she should be rewarded…otherwise they may decide to take up babysitting for the parents who do tip and you will be staying home….LOL!

Just my opinion! KInd of like me tipping the bellman at the hotel to keep an eye on my luggage…I want to be sure it is there when I need it…children are more precious than luggage for sure!

newmom, as usual, had some great ideas..

By Becky

December 10, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Yes teachers get paid for teaching your child, but sometimes just a small token of appreciation doesn’t hurt..

When I was in the 4th grade, my Mother helped me make a wreath for my art teacher..I wanted to give it to this teacher because she was a wonderful teacher & person..I saw her probably 10-12 years later & she told me that she to that day hung that wreath on her door every year…

So, I think it should be up to each person to give or not to give…

I get paid for doing my job, but it’s still nice each year when 2 weeks before Christmas, I get a bonus check as a Christmas present..

By motherjanegoose

December 10, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

Imagine it…after that LONG post I did forget to mention that kind notes to the teacher and principal are absolutely the best!

My son LOVED his third grade teacher and we invited her to his high school graduation party, as we knew where she was teaching. When I introduced her to our family and friends ( at the party) , she cried, I cried and my son had tears in his eyes. I have tears in my eyes now…she was a wonderful teacher a real gem!

By Misty

December 10, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Some of you are getting too worked up about this gift thing. If you have kids and they are in school or daycare it’s polite to remember them at Christmas time. It’s not required that you spend a lot. Homemade goodies and the like are perfectly ok. Some candy, with a note saying that you appreciate what the teacher has done for your child is probably even better. It’s not about who spends the most money…it’s about thanking someone who teaches/cares for your kid during the day. We are in hard economic times, but it doesn’t cost anything to send a note of appreciation. A tip: a big ole batch of cookies goes a long way…everyone at the school, the church and the daycare will be getting a little something from us this year!

By Keisha

December 10, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

The question was Who should you leave off the gift list. Well, that’s a tough one because all the teachers are important. If I had to give to just one it would have to be the classroom teacher. They’re the one thats there with the kids the whole day.

By momto3

December 10, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Usually we give something to everyone with ranking of importance (so to speak), nice gift to teachers, smaller gifts to parapro’s, baked goods to library and office staff and specials. But this year for the first time ever and after a big pay cut, I am only participating in two group gifts, $10.00 each (I used to spend hundreds!). We have run up some credit card debt and I have a strict budget for my three children. I would not want anyone to go into debt to give me anything. Now another off topic dilemna - how to tell close friends with whom we have exchanged children’s gifts for years that this is a good year to stop. I don’t want to go into debt, but these are dear friends, maybe it is better to spend the money and not worry about it. It’s about $200.00 and their feelings are worth more than this…. but I can’t help wondering when this will stop! Theresa, maybe this could be another topic - when and how to stop gift exchanges without hurting feelings.

By new mom

December 10, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Momto3, regarding your dilemma about the gift exchanges, I would try having some honest conversations with your friends. My first thought is that if you are struggling to pay for all these gifts, chances are, so are your friends (kinda like the ‘if one person has a question, chances are that others have the same question but are too scared to ask’)

Anyway, I try to use the “truth with love” approach. Tell them you value your friendship, and that you want to do something more meaningful than buy each other gifts. How about planning a picnic at a local park together, have the friends over for dinner, offer to babysit and give your friends the night out…There are lots of cheaper and more meaningful ways to express your friendship.

And I would be surprised if a true friend would be offended and have their feelings hurt if you are honest with them. But then again, that’s just me. ;)

Good luck!

By SmartAce

December 10, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

@SouthFulton Mom - please

Again I do not know who you are or where you are getting these ridiculous accusations from but you are dead wrong about me posting under any other name but my own.

I am SmartAce. I have pretty much always been SmartAce except when I went by LAME. I assure you if I am going to light somebody up like a Christmas tree….I’m going to do it as myself. Not hiding behind someone else’s name.

Please stop accusing me. Thanks.

By Kathy

December 10, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

My daughter has two preschool teachers and we are contributing to the class gift ($5). I will not be buying additional gifts. Money is tight and we have lots of family to buy for. I will also write each one a nice note.

When I was teaching I NEVER EVER cared about getting a gift. (When I babysat as a teen I NEVER EVER got a “bonus” and I was with one family for 12 years through HS and college). I taught in low income schools where the parents could hardly afford to buy for their own families. My favorite gifts were the sweet notes I would get from parents thanking me for my hard work and wishing me a Merry Christmas. Those meant more than a mug of candy. I saved every note and never the mugs). I will have to say that my favorite gift ever was a box of candy canes from a little boy named Julio. When I unwrapped them, he told me they were to hang on my Christmas tree. He told me that my tree would look like his, because his family hung candy canes on their tree. I hung them every year for about 5 years. I cried every time one would melt or fall and break. I will never forget him.

One year the teacher next door to me got a picture of Jesus that lit up and another teacher got used hair barrettes as gifts (the child said that the barrettes would look “bootiful” in my friend’s hair). Each child was so proud and excited to give the teacher something that they had chosen. I guess it is not the gift, but the thought behind it.

I have a friend that worked in a GCPS school in a wealthy area and she said the gifts to teachers were outrageous and over the top (whole spa weekend packages, $500 gift cards to stores, diamond jewelry…..RIDICULOUS….certainly not small tokens of appreciation).

I can guarantee that teachers would rather have a nice note from you thanking them for loving their children or a drawing your child does for them. It is so much more meaningful.

Sorry for the long post : )

By karin

December 10, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

We give to all teachers and staff. We even give to the janitor.

By Mr. Nice Guy

December 10, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Just another example of the B******* of Christmas. Celebrate the birth of Christ, the ultimate non-materialist, by spending yourself into oblivion. Give the bus driver a gift??? Please…

Stop the excessive shopping… Stop the gift giving to people who will not remember you in 6 months. Save your money for the economy is going down.

By FCM

December 10, 2008 5:14 PM | Link to this

You should treat the para-pro EQUAL to the teacher…he/she often does MORE work than the teacher does….I think treating one less is just pathetic.

Now, MJG you know I listen to you…and some folks might toss the baked goods in the trash….However, most of the teachers end up asking me where I got it so they can get more…then flip when they realize I stayed up half the night making it (or got up early as I have been known to deliver still warm from the oven)….the fact that I took my time to do it (knowing that I am single Mom working Full Time) usually means alot to the school. (A tin of chocolates not so much).

Sometimes I will do a large tray of stuff and put it in the office so the whole school can share, with a special package to the Homeroom teacher.

I better go make my list and determine when I am going to bake…probably Sunday (which means teachers will get their stuff early).

Now here is the thing for me. My upbringing says I should do something for one child’s teacher even though I think she should be barred from being near children…..it just makes me sick to know I will give up my time for this and it will very likely be under appreciated this year.

By new mom

December 10, 2008 5:17 PM | Link to this

OK, what about this idea? Spend a Saturday with your kids, baking Christmas cookies. Even if you don’t decorate them, you will be spending time baking together. I would also bet that dad would enjoy participating too, if you can convince him to put on an apron ;)

Then, while the cookies are in the oven, have each child write a personal note to each of their teachers. They can color a picture for them too, whatever they want. Also—you, as the parent, write the teachers a note too, letting them know how much we, as parents, value the time and love they give our child.

Then when the cookies are done and cooled, put 3-4 in a bag and attach both your note and your child’s. It’s a win/win/win. Your child gets time spent with you. You get to spend time with them. They learn the art of writing thank you notes, you get the reminder that it’s important to thank those who you appreciate, your child’s teacher(s) get that warm fuzzy feeling, your bank account didn’t take a huge hit, plus you might just have a cookie or two leftover for you and your child to nibble on. :)

I’m going to remember this one…possibly do it this year for our gymboree teachers. Our baby girl is quite a help in the kitchen, she loves to close things…dishwasher, fridge, cabinets…whatever I’m trying to use!

By motherjanegoose

December 10, 2008 5:24 PM | Link to this

Kathy …you are right on…since I have never taught in a poor area I have not been in the situation where children or parents DO NOT have anything to give.

I do not think that is what the focus is today but maybe.

I do know those who drive elegant cars, wear expensive clothes , live in posh neighborhoods that do not have ( as my parents used to day) a pot to pee in…they are maxed out on credit and one paycheck away from the poorhouse.

I have never expected a gift but if it is given, then it is certainly appreciated and I also agree that over the top presents are ridiculous.

I remember once I got a $75 gift card to the Buckhead Life Group of restaurants… My husband was ALL excited. I laughed and told him that this would be costing us money as we would have to pay to park and tip the valet plus the menu items were not cheap…that was an experience.

I am all for $5 Chik Fil A or Subway card….HAHA!

By old teacher

December 10, 2008 5:38 PM | Link to this

MJG, the more you add the less I care for you. You come accross as arrogant and obnoxious. You and jesses girl should go on a road trip, maybe the alaskan highway? and yes, we know that you are at least one of the lakerats.

By motherjanegoose

December 10, 2008 7:01 PM | Link to this

Hey Jesse’s Girl,I am pretty sure you are not lakerat and I know I am not so what is up with old teacher?

Hope this means he/she is retired because I am wondering about the perception skills as demonstrated….LOL.

old teacher ( glad you could join us)…everyone has their own opinion and I respect yours…just glad you are not paying my bills as those are the opinions I really care about.

FYI…if Theresa wants me to bow out and close the door behind me…she will let me know…I have heard from her a few times via e-mail and not once has it been ugly. I will take my cue from her as she IS the one who is really in charge.

I have already been to Alaska and actually had clients who paid me to come…imagine it!

If you are offended that I know folks who live from pay check to pay check and act like all is well…you probably know them too…they live right in our neighborhoods.

I came up with nothing but a hard work ethic and believe in only spending what you can earn, driving a car you can afford and living in a house where you can make the mortgage…not indulging because everyone else is doing it. Just the facts….

Finally…please know that I completely agree that gifts and tips are optional.

Some can do it and some cannot…this is understood. I do know that when I take care of the service personnel ( when I travel) they will take care of me…this is not something I made up myself…hello?

Anyone who works out in the public knows that a tip can go a long way in expediting good service.

Did I know this when I started my business…NO…did I watch and learn from others…YES.

By the way, I left a gift with each school I worked with this month and donate over $100.00 worth of free products at each of over 24 staff development venues I am hired to speak at per year..

I practice what I preach.

By DB

December 10, 2008 11:00 PM | Link to this

Once you take care of the main teacher(s), why not just take a tray or a couple of plates of Christmas cookies to the school for the teacher’s break room, and put a note on it — “Happy holidays from the _ family! Thank you for all you do!” Otherwise, you fall into the trap of trying to gift everyone who has ever spoken to your child!

By nurse&mother

December 10, 2008 11:01 PM | Link to this

I’m with you New Mom. We have a tradition in our house that we bake peppermint bark (among other things) for teachers, friends, hairdresser etc. Most folks love it. And even if they didn’t, it’s the thought that counts. My children love this tradition. I wouldn’t trade this family time for anything.

Momto3- I have a best friend whose children have everything. For years I would try to find a nice gift that her children didn’t already have. Finally, we decided that we would do something fun like go to the aquarium, museum, lunch, movie, skating or whatever. It is much more fun for all and less expensive. I think your friends will probably be relieved. If they didn’t understand, then they are probably not your true friends. Trust me, it is the best thing we ever did.

By motherjanegoose

December 11, 2008 6:19 AM | Link to this

Morning all… I am apologizing to anyone who thinks I am arrogant and obnoxious…I checked in with someone on this blog who knows me in person and she laughed and said it is not true….not to worry.

I based my opinion on the ..teachers do not eat homemade gifts… from my own experience in the school and also read several entries on the blog by Jeanne Besser as those teachers ( whom I do not know) sang the same song. Check it out.

Perhaps we need a few more teachers to give their opinion…since this topic is about gifts for teachers and we need to know what they would think, as they are the ones who will take in the food gifts.

I just realized that someone whom I have known for years will not eat ANY food prepared by others as she is very picky. Their family does not attend cookouts and potlucks ( with others) for this reason. I was surprised but that is her right.

Last…I certainly realize I do not know everything …no one could. I am passionate about what I do know and perhaps that comes across too strongly.

Have a nice day and I am sorry if I offended anyone…

By momto3

December 11, 2008 6:44 AM | Link to this

MJG,

I am new to this blog, I really appreciate your comments, don’t worry, you aren’t offensive at all to me. I also agree about the homemade food. In our old school district only store bought food could be brought in for parties and I loved it. I’ll never forget the sweet, seemingly perfect mom whose home I visited to find many cats wandering the kitchen counters even sleeping on the counters. I would not assume all families have the same ground rules for sanitary kitchens! Plus many people have dietary needs that may be personal to them. Now I have been known to do a fruit basket for teachers I know are eating healthy…

I have been room mom close to 20 time (three kids up into their teens) and once I get to know the teachers, they really do not want a candle or mug or candy or cookies. They just have too many of these things and hate for parents to waste their money.

Thanks for the advice about ending the gift exchanges, I love the idea of doing something together instead!

By motherjanegoose

December 11, 2008 7:45 AM | Link to this

momto3

Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate it somuch and laughed at the cat story as I remembered that my retired friend told me she had gone to someone’s house for a little get together and saw cats walking all over the kitchen counter…she did not want to eat….yuck,

I only have dogs and they cannot get on the counter but have been known to snuggle up in bed. In fact, there is one sleepy schnauzer hiding in the blankets right now!

Now, if we can just find out if Jesse’s Girl is trying to be one of the lakerats…it would answer a few things…hahaha…if you are out there…please read the 5:38 post from old teacher and then my reply last night. Readers…maybe you can check it out and clarify?

I knew I could count on someone to add some insight…the cat thing is a great reason to be cautious about homemade food!

Also, I called my neighbor on Tuesday and told her that I was not buying her a thing…we were going to invite their family over for dinner,,,dinner during the Christmas break. She works long days and is often too tired to cook…so I think DOING things is a wonderful idea!!!

By Cara

December 11, 2008 7:50 AM | Link to this

I was a teacher for 35 years. Each year I received many wonderful gifts from my students.My home and Christmas tree still display many of the wonderful gifts I received over the years. I must admit, most teachers do not eat the home-baked goodies. My favorite gift- a gift certificate for McDonalds or any restaurant. As a mother of 4, I listened carefully to my children and let them decide who they wanted to gift. Sometimes I was surprised! When money was tight, I would use my sewing skills to whip up a lap quilt, a Christmas pillow or a frilly angel. If money is not too tight, remember the paras, custodians, cafeteria workers. Those are the people who really make a school run smoothly, and are often very under appreciated.

By motherjanegoose

December 11, 2008 8:14 AM | Link to this

Thanks again to Cara re: home baked goodies and her response to my post this morning.

Each of us has an opinion but we need to check in with the actual recipients to learn the scoop and Cara has added some great suggestions.

Today’s topic…first, I am thinking this does not relate to me as I am sliding toward 50.

But…yes, it does, as my clients all work with the 2-7 year old range and perhaps I will too be out of work if there are fewer babies coming in the next year or so… wonder if the diaper folks are charting this…I am serious. How about all these new schools in Gwinnett County and additions that have been built…hmmm

Get busy folks …we need babies….HAHAHA!

If anyone is counting on a SS check when they retire….we will need more children to enter the workforce, so they will be paying for the old folks…LOL.

By Jennifer

December 11, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

All this arguing is crazy. Just give what you want to give to who you want to give it. Never give out of obligation. I am a teacher. I don’t expect gifts, but yes I do give gifts, nice ones to the workers at my childrens daycare. I choose to do that because I want to, not because I feel as if I have to.

PS. My husband is a teacher too and he loves coffee mugs.

By ccs

December 11, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

I worked in an elementary school for several years. I wasn’t a teacher, but a faculty member. I was amazed at some of the expensive gifts that some teachers received! I did receive baked goods as gifts and I have to admit that I did throw some in the trash. Most teachers have enough scented body wash and lotion, but I think that gift cards are always appreciated. If you are on a tight budget, take some of the suggestions here and give the teachers a small token of appreciation. A small gift with a note of appreciation is enough. It truly is the thought that counts. On the topic of teachers and para (aides): I’ve meet MANY paras, especially in Kindergarten classes, who work just as hard as the teachers! And trust me, they get paid MUCH LESS!

By jgrim

December 11, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

I would assume that I have been crossed out of one of my student’s gift list (if he gives any at all) merely because I asked him to write a paper for an assignment because he will miss our christmas concert. Darn…I sure will miss that scented lotion.

By Teach

December 11, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

As a teacher, the best “gift” is simply a thank you, either through a personalized card or note. Those are the things I save and when I am having one of “those days” I can look back on for encouragement and inspiration. No need to spend any money if you want to let a teacher know that she/he is appreicated!

By Lynn

December 11, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

As a HS teacher, I hate to say it but I would throw away homemade food. Sorry, but I don’t know what kind of conditions it came from. But I would NEVER do that in front of the child. My boys and I plan to make personalized bookmarks with my scrapbook supplies. Another idea could be (for ES or MS) buy a book for the classroom.

By Davona

December 11, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

Leaeve teachers off the gift list? NO WAY! Anyone who contributes to the growth and development of my child deserves a gift that represents my appreciation.

By motherjanegoose

December 11, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

It is really me and I thank those of you teachers who took time to add your opinion about home baked goodies. Those on this blog may in fact be the best cooks on the block ( I say this with respect) but ( in my experience) most teachers do not want to eat something that they have no idea where it was created or by whom.

When I was still teaching and we cooked at school, we used to put things in the teacher’s room that were left over with signs: THIS HAS BEEN CREATED AND TOUCHED BY CHILDREN OR THIS HAS ONLY BEEN TOUCHED BY THEIR TEACHERS.

I am hoping that most of you can figure out which food was NOT eaten…hint: kids like to pick their noses….

By HB

December 11, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

As I recall from last year’s similar discussion on the school blog, most teacher’s mentioned how often they replenish supplies for their classrooms out of their own pockets and said their favorite gifts were boxes of tissues, hand sanitizer, etc, accompanied by a handmade card from the child.

By retired teacher

December 11, 2008 5:21 PM | Link to this

When I retired from teaching I had dozens of Christmas mugs. Mug family enjoys using them every year. I loved to receive ornaments, candles, and homemade items from students. When I began teaching in the 1970’s I ate homemade baked goods without a second thought. Before I retired I became very careful about which baked goods I ‘enjoyed’. The middle school students of today are not always to be trusted. LOL I also encouraged my students to do an act of kindness for someone in their community or contribute to a charity in my name. I loved reading the notes when the students explained what they had done for others, at my suggestion.

By Becca

December 11, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this

This year my child moved into middle school. Other parents are telling me, “You’re done!” with all the gifting for teachers (he now has seven as opposed to one). Obviously I am not as close to them as to his elementary school teachers and the little “cute” gifts that flew in elementary school (in addition to contributing to a class gift) seem silly now. He’s afraid it wouldn’t be cool to give gifts. What do you folks with middle schoolers do??

By Becca

December 11, 2008 5:54 PM | Link to this

One year we contributed to the class gift for my daughter (still in elementary) and also wanted a small gift for the teacher and the parapro and the specials teachers. We ended up getting relatively inexpensive but nice picture frames at Target. She then wrote a note to or about each teacher and put them in the frames. It didn’t cost much, was personal, and they could take the note and do what they wanted afterward, using the frame for a picture if they chose. I think it went over well…everyone said that it was a nice gift to get, at least!

By motherjanegoose

December 11, 2008 6:44 PM | Link to this

becca…I still gift in HS….yes,there are 7 teachers….gift cards to Chik Fil A, Borders, Movies or Starbucks are enjoyed by all! $5 or $10 is really just fine.

By Behind Enemy Lines

December 12, 2008 1:46 AM | Link to this

Judging from a number of the responses here, it Sounds like we’re on a reasonable track for our first year of middle school & a gaggle of teachers.

Homeroom teacher (who also has our son for 2 hours of instruction per day) gets a bigger gift than the others - gift card from a nearby spa for service of her choice. All the everyday teachers get sort of a middle tier gift card, the 1/2 times a week specials get Starbucks giftcards.

Props to the person who reminded about bus drivers up the thread, that had slipped my mind until you called it to my attention.

By ccs

December 12, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

To HB: you are so right about teachers buying classroom supplies with their own money. I think buying classroom supplies is an excellent idea.

By Lulline

December 12, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Getting other parents to chip in for a class gift is easier on the wallet as the money can be divided equally. In my opinion anyone who has contact with my child during school hours deserves some kind of acknowledgement and although i’m no Rockerfeller I do try my best to show my appreciation. For my bus driver, a good thermal mug along with some coffee or hot cocoa and for my teachers & paras I would pay for their lunch for 1 week since they eat in the school cafe; that equals to less than $10.00 for 1wk. You can make your own gift certificate that says what the teacher is entiled to and then deposit the money in their lunch account the next time you are at the school. Just keep in mind that teachers are underpaid & underappreciated and this is the one time we get outside of “teacher appreciation week” to show it!

By MOT

December 13, 2008 5:26 PM | Link to this

We have been working on this dilemma for 29 years now. We are down to the last two of ten kids that spanned 20 years. I am the first to sing a teacher praise, but I find the holidays a very stressful time to do a mandatory routine gift list and with 7 kids always in school at once very pricey.

First, let me say, there are some places that so over spoil the teachers and staff. Seriously. Which is good, but at least once amonth we are being called on to donate goodies or breakfast foods or lunch foods for special recognitions etc for the different things the PTA wants to do for the teachers. Plus we donate to the group gifts which in this area are pretty dang nice, gift cards for more than $100.00!!! So, our teachers are not hurting.

I have made it a point to not give just to give. If I feel someone has truly blessed our lives, they get an immediate thank you note. At Christmas I also write “Gratitude Letter” that thank that person for the impact on our lives and give very specific reasons that peoplelove to read about themselves. At Valentines Iwill give a letter that tells the story of the Love Bucket I came across years ago in a magazine and it thanks the teachers for helping to keep my children’s love bucket filled.

When I have felt moved to give more it is usually baked goods or a casserole to keep in the freezer for really hard bad days.

All our kids teachers have known we loved them, appreciated them because from day one we made them aware that they were part of our team or village that was helping raise that child and we always thanked them for supplementing and complimenting our efforts that we told and showed through out the year.

Sometimes it feels like parents use Christmas as the ONE time to show that gratitude especially if they don’t do much any other time.

As for who to leave out? Money wise—-all unless you contribute to a group gift, only give genuine letters of gratitude and if you feel guility for not giving something then a baked good.

Who to leave out as far as expressing appreciation? NO one that is part of that child’s village. But make the expression year round not all at Christmas.

By Mrs. G

December 13, 2008 6:55 PM | Link to this

I teach middle school. I receive a lot of food items but I usually share them with the class, not because I am wary of their origins, but because I don’t eat sweets. When I share the goodies, I tell the students, “Thank you for thanking me!”, and we are all happy and well-thanked.

The very best gifts are words of kindness and support. Those are fully appreciated any time, though—-not just at Christmas. Seriously! Teachers are bashed in the press so often. I work so hard to do the best for my students, and it is great to get an “atta girl” every once in awhile.

I teach in a public school, but my students know that I am a Christian and I celebrate Christmas. Some of my fondest gift memories are from students who were Hindi, Muslim, and Jewish, who wanted to honor me with a small token for the holiday.

By the way, it still seems to be cool to give a gift or a note of thanks to a 6th grade teacher. I don’t know about the other grades!

I have received enough candles, mugs, and scented personal products to last me a lifetime, and quite honestly, I donate those to thrift stores.

By Martha

December 13, 2008 7:18 PM | Link to this

I am a teacher and mother. When my children were in school, we gave nice gifts to their teachers because my children wanted to do that for them. BUT, as a teacher, I always tell my own students to save their money and spend it on their own family, friends or donate it to a good cause. If they really insist, I make them promise to spend less than a dollar and tell them that I collect tacky magnets. (I really do!)

I do usually give my students gifts, though. Maybe a pizza party, a breakfast for all of us, etc.

By Meme

December 13, 2008 11:40 PM | Link to this

I am a teacher. I have had some of my middle school kids crying to me because one or both of their parent lost their jobs and they are now on free lunch. Please, there is nothing that we really need. Don’t stress over this.

By motherjanegoose

December 14, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

wow…so many of you came up with good ideas! I am also delighted that you decided to join us. I really loved the pay for the teacher’s lunch idea…never thought of it.

I absolutely agree that if money is really tight then no one should feel obligated to do anything but write a letter or a note.

MOT ,my hat is off to you and you should join the blog more often as you have the longest span of experience and know things that younger mothers may need to know! Thanks!

By Jenny

December 22, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

I was a music teacher in Fulton County before I had kids. It was always a little amusing to me how I would get maybe 3-4 gifts at Christmastime, and the other teachers would literally be pulling carts out to the parking lot with all their loot.

Here’s what I always tell people:

Instead of a gift, write a note. Maybe have your child write it. Maybe include a picture of your child.

If you really like the teacher, write a really good note and CC it to the principal.

Much cheaper and more meaningful than another mug.

Jenny