Home > Health > MOMania > Archives > 2008 > November
November 2008
Steppin’ back in time to lose weight
Confident, yet unprepared, I stumbled into my first step aerobics class in 14 years.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In four years of working out at our gym, I have rarely made it there early enough to attend classes. But a few weeks ago, in an effort to avoid germy children in the childcare area, I got there super early. (I figured fewer children, fewer chances of my baby getting sick.)
The woman dropping off her child in front of me said she was headed to a class. I was surprised that I might actually be on time for one and asked what class it was. They said, “Step.” I said with confidence, “I used to do step in college. I can do that.”
For any woman that grew up in the ’70s and ’80s, headbands, leotards and Olivia Newton John were all de rigueur. We were the aerobics generation.
In elementary school I would listen to my mother’s workout record (long before Jane Fonda’s aerobic video tapes), and prance around the room to Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are,” the cool-down song. In middle school, I actually took a PE class where we designed an aerobics routine to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”!
In college, the new aerobics trend was step. If you went to the University of Georgia in the early ’90s then you probably saw me in the step class at the O’Malley’s fitness club/bar. (They played the same music for the bar as the gym.) I was the one hiding in the back half-assing my way through the routine.
So with all this experience under my belt I sauntered on into that aerobics class.
I picked a spot in the back, per my normal pattern. I felt like I could keep up stamina-wise and thought I would be sort of familiar with the basic steps. However, I tend to be one kicking the left leg out while everyone else is kicking the right. It doesn’t really affect the workout, but you do look stupid.
Step aerobics started out how I remembered.
Step up, step down. Grapevine left. Grapevine right.
I got it. I’m doing it.
To reinforce my aerobics flashback, the instructor was playing all songs from the ’80s and ’90s. It made me wonder: Can you ONLY do step aerobics to songs from that time period?
We had Salt-n-Pepa “Push it,” and a little “Rock the Casbah.” I think there was some Human League and New Order in there too.
I kept up fine through her warm up but then she started doing stuff I had never seen before. Apparently, there have been some developments in the 14 years I’ve been out of the game!
L step — no clue.
Around the world — also no clue.
Something, something straddle. What? Huh?
Luckily the instructor forgot a big chunk of the routine part way through so she just kept repeating the middle section. It was my only hope Obi-Wan.
So the new — well new to me — innovation in step aerobics is that you work your way around the ENTIRE step. So half the time the class is facing backwards — which doesn’t really work for me for two reasons. A. They’re looking at me doing the routine wrong. B. I can’t watch what the teacher is doing if I’m turned around.
So I just decided to face forward no matter what the rest of the class was doing. I was literally looking front while all 24 other people were turned around facing me.
When I got especially clueless I just sort of danced in the back and sung along picturing myself at O’Malley’s at night.
The good news is I don’t embarrass easily, and I figured as long as I kept moving I was still getting a workout
Two ladies came over to me during the class to let me know this was the advanced class and there was an easier class on Monday.
I told them I didn’t care if I was off. I had enough stamina just not the coordination.
The teacher came up to me afterward and said I did a good job keeping up and to come back. She apologized for forgetting sections of the routine. I told her that was my favorite part!
How do you stay in shape during the winter? Do you do aerobics? How do you normally fare in the class? Can you keep up with all the new moves? Is it like you remember from ’80s? What is your favorite class to take at the gym?
You can email Theresa at tgiarrusso@yahoo.com. Ideas are welcome!
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The race is on … to finish all your Christmas tasks!
Did you get ahead before Thanksgiving or are you in with the pack?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So we are now officially in the Christmas season — although I’ve been working on it for the last month.
I have a lot of early-bird friends who started making me nervous back at Halloween when they declared their Christmas cards had already come in. And when my mother told me that my sister-in-law was completely done with all her shopping by EARLY November, I decided I needed to get into gear!
As of Thanksgiving, I have my cards in hand ready to address. (Although my printer is on the fritz so I’m trying to decide whether to hand address or buy a new printer — neither sounds fun!) I have all the presents for the big kids (minus one or two stocking stuffers). I have all my husband’s presents and presents for my godson already sent. I am working online on photo presents for the grandparents.
So I need to work on the baby (Does anyone have a gently used Little Tikes outdoor playhouse they want to sell me for cheap?), presents for my niece and nephew, presents for the teachers and bus driver and finish the present for the grandparents. Still a lot of work to do!
My goal is to have most of the work done so I can enjoy the season — baking, making ornaments, watching movies and playing games with the kids.
How do you stand? What is your goal to finish? Do you feel pressure when your friends are finishing up?
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Is traveling for Thanksgiving too hard for a family?
Is such a short trip worth the effort?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m hearing from several families that traveling on Thanksgiving seems like a lot of effort for very little time spent with the family they are visiting.
One friend’s husband has to work all Wednesday so they couldn’t leave until late Wednesday night or Thursday morning and then he needed to be back at work by Friday.
Another husband described how his kids had swim practice late Wednesday night and they were leaving at 3 a.m. to make lunch with their family in Florida.
Is the amount of time on a Thanksgiving break enough to allow a family to travel? Is it too much effort for such a short time?
Generally the Christmas break for kids is longer, but do families not want to travel at Christmas because they like to be at their own house Christmas morning?
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Teaching kids to be thankful
It’s tough lesson to teach, but this is a year for families to be truly grateful for what they have.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s a tough trick for parents to teach their kids to be thankful for all that they have — especially when they’ve always had everything they’ve needed.
My kids have never missed a meal. They’ve never gone to school on a cold day without a coat and never had to shove their feet into shoes that were too small.
While we don’t buy them everything they want, they have certainly never lacked the essentials. It’s important to us that they know how lucky and blessed they are and how fluid that situation is.
We talk about it often with them at home. We tell them each and every day that they are lucky to have warm food, warm clothes and a warm house. We tell them we are grateful to have jobs, and we want to make wise financial decisions to protect our family. When they go to bed, we thank God for their warm PJs, warm beds and our healthy family.
We want them to understand, without trying to scare them, that especially in this economy, things can change quickly. We want them to appreciate all that we have and also learn to be frugal in such uncertain times.
Sometimes it seems like we’re getting through to them.
Our 5-year-old son recently raised his hand in children’s church to pray for a close relative who is ill. He also wanted to call the relative because he said his heart was sad for him.
However, in that same week, we found the after-effects of an artistic explosion on his walls and door — doodling and writing everywhere.
So he apparently understands to be thankful for his health and to be sympathetic to others, but doesn’t understand to respect his belongings.
Our 7-year-old daughter is very empathetic. Her teacher even noticed that she is easily brought to tears when the class talks about animals or people that are hurt in some way.
However on the other hand, she routinely turns her nose up at meals and wastes food that other children, hungry children, would love to have.
I’m not completely sure how to decide when their behavior is appropriate for their age or when they are being unappreciative of what they have.
I think living in the suburbs makes it harder for children to comprehend those without because they don’t physically see them. When we lived in New York City, you couldn’t leave your apartment without seeing homeless people. You knew they had slept out in the cold that night. You knew they hadn’t eaten a square dinner or breakfast. You also knew they had no place to go to the bathroom. It absolutely made you appreciate all you had and also made you want to help. It heightened your awareness of the needs of others.
I was telling my girlfriend last week that I am searching for good service projects for our family to do together. She reminded me that even small things can make a big impression on the children. She said her Girl Scout troop write “notes of gratitude” throughout the year. The notes are to thank people, other than their parents and grandparents, for helping the children. The troop wrote notes to the maintenance workers, lunchroom ladies and office workers at their schools — people whose services are often overlooked.
Whether through big projects or small, my hope for this holiday season (and beyond) is to further my children’s appreciation and understanding of how blessed our family is and to help them understand it is their responsibility to share their blessings with others.
Are your kids grateful for what your family has? Do they comprehend that others have less? What age do you think they begin to understand these concepts? How do you reinforce those concepts?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas are always welcome.
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Who REALLY is the sexiest man alive?
Who are your latest married crushes? Who are the sexiest celebrity dads?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hey ladies, I have given you some very serious, weighty health stories to read about in my favorite little box, but since it’s Fun Friday I thought we could talk about the sexiest man alive!
People magazine released its list this week of the sexiest men alive and Hugh Jackman was No. 1.
Now Entertainment Weekly argues it should have been Jon Hamm of “Mad Men.”
What do you think? Who are your married crushes these days? Who are the sexiest celebrity dads?
Permalink | Comments (149) | Post your comment | Categories: General Frustrations of Motherhood
What to do when your child wants to live with the other parent?
The court gave you custody but now your child wants to live with the other parent. What do you do?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I got a note from a mom who seems distressed. I think this situation must be happening to her, and she needs some advice. (I’m thinking I should have run this sooner.)
She wrote: “Have you ever had to fight your ex for custody of your kids? What happens when your child WANTS to go live with the other parent? Do you let them come back if it doesn’t work out?”
Folks what do you do? Do you let them go? How old do they need to be to actually get to weigh in on their living situation? Are they just going to resent you and dislike you more if you don’t let them go? Do you let them come back? What if they don’t want to come back?
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Do you warn your kids about unusual ways to get high?
Or is that just giving them ideas? What about prescription and over-the-counter drugs that are easy to get and easy to overlook?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I received a note from a mom recently who is concerned about talking to her kids about drugs. It seems like she’s pretty comfortable with the whole “Don’t smoke pot or do crack,” but she is wondering if you warn them about more unusual ways to get high? Would that help prepare them for the situation or just give them ideas?
Here’s part of what she wrote:
“I was watching that show, ‘The Dr.’s’ (I love that show!), yesterday, and they were talking about new ways teenagers are being stupid — specifically dealing with drugs. They talked about something that I’d never heard of before: salvia. You smoke it and it’s supposed to be a quick high, just a few minutes, and it’s legal. I couldn’t imagine why since anything that’s hallucinogenic only needs a minute (or less) to get you into some life-changing trouble like a car crash….”
“The show also talked about other things that teens were doing like soaking a tampon in vodka and then inserting it to get the alcohol straight into the bloodstream quicker (or putting it in other places for guys.) And they had a girl there in the audience who had videoed herself snorting vodka up her nose.”
Along these same lines, I have been corresponding with a group about raising awareness of over-the-counter cough medicine abuse. It is a very easy for drug for teens (and kids) to get their hands on and something parents could easily overlook as a threat. Here are some stats on cough syrup abuse from the Consumer Healthcare Products Association:
“According to a recent survey from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, one in 10 teens has reported abusing OTC cough medicines to get high - and even worse, one in four say that they know someone who has. As back-to-school pressures begin to mount (73% of teens say that coping with school stress is the main reason they turn to drugs), this issue is of utmost importance.”
“Cough medicine abuse is no accident. Teens who abuse these medicines are intentionally taking excessive amounts — sometimes up to 50 times the recommended dose—to get high from the active ingredient, dextromethorphan (DXM). When taken at these high levels, and when mixed with alcohol and other drugs, the effects can be incredibly dangerous.”
“Despite the prevalence of this type of abuse among teens, most parents are unaware that this type of abuse is even possible. While studies show that kids who learn about the risks of drugs at home are up to 50 percent less likely to abuse them, a recent survey of parents shows that only 21 percent have talked to their teens about cough medicine abuse.”
“For this reason, five mothers from across the country have spent the past year using the internet (the same forum that teens are using to promote this type of abuse) to educate parents about the dangers of cough medicine abuse. Through their web site, www.fivemoms.com, The Five Moms: Stopping Cough Medicine Abuse campaign has reached more than 23 million parents, using online channels including personal blogs, a tell-a-friend messaging system and a “viral” video to address this disconnect and encourage parents to talk to their teens.”
Are you talking to your kids about drugs at all? Are you talking to them about over-the-counter or prescription drug abuse? Are you talking with them about crazy drugs they may have never even thought of? How do approach each of these categories for discussion and at what age? (I’ve talked to my 7-year-old about not doing drugs in general, but I think the vodka up the nose will wait for a later discussion.)
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How NOT to host a holiday
I planned and planned but an ancient oven, an act of God and an angry husband ruined my holiday!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There are literally hundreds of publications and TV shows ready to tell you how to create the perfect Thanksgiving, but very few willing to reveal how they’ve screwed up their own in the past.
Since I have no shame, I will share with you how last year’s joyful Thanksgiving with my husband’s family and my parents turned into an ugly battle over whether to serve undercooked turkey to freezing guests waiting on a screened porch.
The holiday started out lovely. We had convinced Michael’s dad, stepmother, sister, brother and brother’s girlfriend to be with us for Thanksgiving. We were thrilled to have the whole family together and wanted everything to be perfect.
I searched books and online sites for weeks looking for just the right recipes. I recorded and watched hours of the Food Network determined to have a juicy, flavorful turkey.
All of the food was started on time, and we seemed to be humming along. My mother-in-law and I were working well as a team and having fun in the kitchen.
Around 11 a.m. we decided the temperature outside was crisp but not too cold, and we would eat our Thanksgiving meal on the screened porch around 2 p.m. We thought it would give it a very Fall feel, plus the kitchen and dining room were hot from the double ovens.
So we carried out six extra chairs, and set two large tables on the porch with cloths, all the fine china, silver and crystal. I even had a buffet table set up for drink service and for the food to come.
Inside the house, I had a probe thermometer in the turkey linked to an outside monitor that would beep when the turkey hit the correct (SAFE) temperature. We could watch as the internal temperature of the bird ticked higher and higher.
At first it seemed like the turkey was cooking too fast so we cut the heat slightly in my 25-year-old oven. Then as we were getting closer to serving, the internal temperature on the turkey wasn’t rising quickly enough. We had almost all the other dishes ready to go and were on time to serve, but the turkey was still a good 20 degrees below temperature. I cranked the heat on the oven.
Around this time, we also became aware that over the last few hours the temperature outside had oddly dropped about 10 to 15 degrees. When I went outside it felt good to me because I was so hot from working in the kitchen. My mother said tables are set. It’s too hard to move everything. Just keep it out there. So we did.
The clock kept ticking. Ten minutes late. Twenty minutes late. Thirty minutes late. I was feeling the pressure, and my husband was getting ugly. “Just serve it,” he demanded. “The temperature of the turkey doesn’t matter. It’s been in there long enough.”
I refused. I just kept picturing all 11 guests in the emergency room because I poisoned them with undercooked poultry. I wasn’t doing it.
He continued to harass me. Just serve it, he said along with a few other choice words. Had my husband just said, “I’m embarrassed that my Dad and family are waiting and that dinner is late. Is there something we can start on?” I would have said, “Yes , let’s have the pasta as an appetizer instead of with the meal.” (They’re Italian, they have pasta at Thanksgiving.) However, since he was just yelling at me about the turkey, I was just fighting back on that issue.
By the time we served, it was about an hour after our planned dinnertime, and it was downright freezing on the porch. We ended up having to wear coats. I was so angry at my husband for being so ugly to me that I couldn’t’ enjoy the food that we had spent hours preparing.
Meanwhile, my dad sat there in a ski jacket clutching his own arms chattering BRRRR.BRRRR, which wasn’t really helping matters.
I continued to fight my husband into the night. I was really mad at being treated so poorly when I had worked so hard on the meal, plus I knew he was just plain wrong about the temperature of the turkey. He continued to also be angry. I ended up printing out the USDA guidelines for the safe temperature of cooked poultry, as well as the effects of food poisoning and shoving it at him before stomping off to bed.
I think my husband apologized days later — maybe I just want to believe he did. We did have a discussion about better communications and helping to solve the problem instead of just yelling at each other.
Looking ahead to this year’s holiday, Michael’s family is braving a return visit. My mother-in-law and I are going through our plan before they even leave their state.
I am buying an oven thermometer to calibrate my old ovens’ temperatures and will start the turkey way earlier than I think is necessary.
And I don’t care if it’s 70 degrees outside, we will be serving in the dining room this year no matter what!
Have you ever messed up a holiday meal or celebration? (Remember you have anonymity.) What happened? Where did it all go wrong? Did you do better the next year?
You can email Theresa with ideas at ajcmomania@gmail.com.
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Would you want to give birth at home?
Recently a growing number of women have been opting for home births despite opposition from medical associations.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The New York Times reports, oddly in their Home and Garden section, that there is an increasing number of women choosing to give birth at home because they feel more comfortable in their homes instead of the hospital. Here’s the link for the full story.
Julie Scelfo writes: “Home births have been around as long as humans, but since the 1950s, the overwhelming majority of American women have chosen to give birth in hospitals, which the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists identifies as one of the safest places for the unpredictable and sometimes dangerous process of childbirth. (The group has officially opposed home births since 1975, and this year the American Medical Association adopted a similar position.)”
“Recently, though, midwives and childbirth educators say, a growing number of women have been opting instead for the more intimate and familiar surroundings of home — even in New York City, where homes are typically cramped warrens of a few hundred square feet and neighbors often live close enough to hear every sneeze and footstep.”
“Births in New York’s hospitals, where pediatricians are able to check babies immediately for potentially dangerous conditions, it should be noted, still vastly outnumber those in its homes — in 2006 home births accounted for only one-half of 1 percent of the city’s 125,506 reported births.”
“But local midwives say they have been swamped with calls and requests in recent months, in some cases increasing their workload from two, three or four deliveries a month to as many as 10. (New York health department statistics for this year will not be available until 2010.) Several certified nurse midwives who have home-birth-only practices said they had gotten so many more requests in recent months that they have begun referring pregnant women to midwives in Rockland County, Long Island and New Jersey.”
To each her own, but I don’t think I would personally want to give birth at home. I am by nature a chicken so I would worry that if the baby needed medical help, we wouldn’t have it on hand. My first daughter needed lung intervention, and I’m not sure that would have been available at home. We also all know it’s awfully messy. Plus, if you’re at home the other kids start asking you for stuff. I don’t think my two oldest would have respected “I just gave birth!” It was good to be out of pocket while I recovered some.
I will say that I do fully support the use of midwives and laboring at home as long as you feel comfortable. I labored at home entirely with my third (mainly because I didn’t realize it was the real thing), and it does help you choose a natural birth if that’s what you want. Believe me I would have taken drugs had I been in a hospital setting with that last one.
I was in the bathtub, walking around, hanging onto furniture, screaming. (Scaring the heck out of the dog. Luckily the children were at their Mimi’s already.) When we got to the hospital it was just 23 minutes— and it only took that long because they told me not to push.
What do you think: Would you want to give birth at home? Can you see the attraction for some women? Would your worry about your safety or the baby’s safety? What about laboring at home but birthing at a hospital? What about certified nurse midwives?
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What to do if your kids aren’t making friends?
How do you help your kids if they’re having a hard time making friends? Does it worry you if they don’t have friends? Is it a phase? How do you help them find little buddies?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I recently heard from a mom who is worried that her 4-year-old daughter isn’t making friends at school. The teacher told her she was concerned that the child wasn’t finding friends in the class. The teacher last year told her the same thing — at the end of the school year. A little late to be telling her.
Her daughter recently made some friends at an after-school activity with kids in another class. Should her daughter switch classes, should she just invite those girls over for play dates, should she pull her from the school? Her preschool director suggested the teacher do a project where the kids had to pair up to help her find a friend in the class.
My oldest daughter had a lot of buddies in preschool but preferred to play alone in kindergarten and first grade. This year she seems to be back hanging with buddies. I’m not quite sure what went on there. Maybe it was just a transition to a new school. Maybe she was searching for kids she had more in common with — didn’t want to play with just anybody who came along. She really hit it off last year with a little girl on her bus, and they seem to continue to get along and have stuff in common.
How do you help your child if they’re not making friends? When do you get involved, and when do you leave it for them to work out? Do you believe in social engineering to help find them friends? When is it a worry, a phase or just how your child wants to be?
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Do you take your kids hunting?
Is it a popular family activity among Atlanta families? What about outside the city? What animals do you usually hunt? How young did you start with your kids?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am wondering if families around Atlanta are still taking their kids to hunt or if that’s more of a North Georgia, South Georgia thing now?
When I grew up in Gwinnett County thirty-some odd years ago, hunting and fishing were definitely popular activities even for the suburbanites. Our family did some fishing in lakes around here and crabbing in South Georgia, but never any hunting.
When we lived in rural Pennsylvania for two years, I was really exposed to the hunting culture. It was definitely the thing to do with your family, and kids learned to shoot a very young age. Hunting was so popular for families that the kids were actually given a school holiday on the first day of deer season. I believe this was because the Pennsylvania deer season is pretty short.
I called the Georgia Department of Natural Resources to find out how many kids were hunting in Georgia. Jennifer N. Barnes, their senior PR specialist, said they didn’t have hard stats on the number of kids hunting, but she did send over the hunting regulations for Georgia kids, info on the different season and info on hunter education. Here’s what she sent:
“Here are the regulations: -Youth under the age of 16 are not required to complete a hunter education course, but they also are not allowed to hunt unless they are under direct adult (18+) supervision (meaning within sight or hearing of a licensed adult). The exception: hunters between 12 and 15 are legally allowed to hunt unsupervised after successfully completing a hunter education course. Hunter education link.
-As far as licenses go, all resident hunters 16 or older must possess a hunting license unless they are hunting on land owned by them or their immediate family.
Deer season/other game species: -Georgia has around 1 million deer. The start of firearms season was Sat., Oct. 18, and it is definitely a tradition and often a family-centered activity here. Other hunting that gets youth involved is squirrel hunting, dove hunting and often times turkey hunting.
-Squirrel season starts in Aug. (Aug. 15 - Feb. 28 for this season) and is a more active hunting experience. Squirrels are the second most pursued small game species in Georgia, behind doves. (Georgia has two species of squirrels — gray and fox.)
-Dove season, especially opening day, also is a family affair for many in Georgia. The day usually gets kicked off with a cookout and the hunting begins at noon on opening day (season begins in September. This year it began Sept. 6). The division also holds various opening day dove hunting events throughout the state, including one here in Walton Co.
-Wildlife Management Areas are located throughout the state and provide residents with a variety of outdoor recreational opportunities, including camping, hiking, fishing and hunting. These are conservation lands that are owned or partially owned/managed by the state. The closest to metro Atlanta are: Allen Creek WMA in Hall Co.; Dawson Forest WMA in Dawson Co.; McGrawFord WMA in Cherokee Co.; Walton Public Dove Field in Walton Co.
-Outdoor Adventure Days, which just occurred in September. These events often draw in metro area children and parents, and involves air rifle shooting practice, fishing practice, wildlife shows, etc.
Division Programs -One program that has been around in Georgia since 2003 is the National Archery in the Schools Program (NASP). See this link for more info. The program is more of a physical education class & doesn’t necessarily teach hunting safety, but if children are interested the opportunity to learn about hunting is there.
New program: Hunter Education Skills Challenge. The program encourages continued hunter education through activities and competitions. All youth who participate must have successfully complete a hunter ed course.”
So are you taking your children hunting? How young do you start? How do you educate them about the weapons and safety? What is your favorite game to hunt? What’s the easiest game to start on with kids? Are the kids ever sad about killing the animals or if it’s something you’ve grown up with it’s not sad? Have you ever given a lifetime hunting license as a baby present?
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Are you having to cut out day care, private school?
Daycare centers across the country are seeing children pulled out as their parents can’t afford to pay for it. How is the economy affecting your day care and school choices?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am wondering how the economy is affecting your child care and other school choices. The Associated Press reports that parents having to pull kids from daycare centers because they can’t afford the care.
Here’s part of the AP story: “The nation’s economic troubles play out one family at a time at the New Horizons Learning Center in this struggling city two hours northwest of Chicago.”
“Some parents have been laid off and must pull their children out of the day care center until they can find a job. Others’ employment hours have been cut, so they reduce their kids’ attendance to a few days a week.”
“Financial strains prompt one mother to pay with a postdated check. Another chooses to work in the middle of the night — after putting her kids to bed — because of the extra dollar per hour that shift brings. And the stress shows on the faces of the children who can’t understand why their friends, without explanation, stop coming.”
” ‘They act out more, cry a lot more,’ said Diane Kesterton, director of New Horizons, where a 38-child enrollment has been halved to 19 in just three months. ‘They don’t know what’s happening, they’re confused.’ “
“Parents nationwide are telling day care providers they must scale back or abandon their services. Instead, they keep kids at home with grandparents or upend their work-life balance because gas and food prices have become prohibitive and average child care costs outpace rent and mortgage payments — even for those drawing salaries.”
Have your child care arrangements been affected by the economy? Have you switched to a relative for care? Has your child’s behavior been affected if he has had leave his normal routine and friends?
I’m also wondering if the economy is affecting other school choices for parents? Have you had to pull your kids from private school? Are you worried about for paying for private school next year? Are extracurricular classes off the table?
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I need an organization intervention!
I’m cluttered by nature and struggling to keep my family of five organized.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hello, my name is Theresa and I am umm … organizationally challenged. I have always been a cluttered person, but now that I’m keeping track of five people’s lives, things are getting out of hand.
I’m pretty sure my problems stem from saving too many things — especially school work, school notes and financial documents — and then putting them in temporary storage instead of where they belong. (At least that’s my husband’s diagnosis.)
I routinely spend a lot of my time searching for stuff. The babysitter knows it’s going to take me while to figure out where I squirreled away the check book, and my poor mother is still waiting to get back the flashlight she loaned me because I couldn’t find my own.
I had a particularly bad week last week losing three major items in a matter of days. My keys, my driver’s license and the kitchen telephone have all been MIA lately.
In my defense, that phone was lost over a weekend so I think my husband was equally responsible. We’ve also lost the back to our upstairs phone but that’s because I sometimes take the battery out so the baby can “call” people without dialing 911. (The kitchen phone was found about a week later, but now my son has lost the back off my cell phone.)
Two Fridays ago while loading bags into my car at my mother’s house, I sat my rather large ring of keys down and couldn’t find them. We searched for more than an hour — completely unloading my bags and going through each one. Finally, I had to call my husband to bring over the extra set of keys. I was embarrassed, and he was not happy. (I did find my keys the next day. They had fallen down a hole at the base of the minivan’s seat into the stow-n-go storage. Not an obvious location.)
On Tuesday, I realized my driver’s license was missing right before I went to vote. I’m pretty sure the baby has absconded with it. I saw her taking things out of my wallet earlier in the week, and I thought I had recovered them all. I guess not. I spent an hour looking for it and finally voted on an expired license. But hey, at least I found that one!
My husband sternly lectured me that these things do not happen to normal people, and I needed to make changes in my life. (I told him he needed to stick it up his …)
I will cop to the fact that as an individual I am a messy person. I hate to hang clothes. I don’t put things in the same place every time, and I tend to get easily distracted from picking up. My dorm room was always a disaster.
However, in my defense, I do have at least three other people working against me as I try to keep track of everything for this family.
My three little darlings move piles around on my desk. They knock things off my desk. They take my cell phone and my wallet from the bin they’re supposed to be in. They wander around the house with library books and leave shoes on the back porch, by the swing set and every once in a while in the shoe tree where they belong. It’s very frustrating to struggle with my own with organizational issues, as well as theirs.
Much like an alcoholic visiting AA, I do feel better getting this problem out in the open. I am committed to trying harder to be better organized. I will try to put things where they belong and not just where I happen to be. I will try to write down the dates for things in my planner and not keep duplicate reminders. I will try to purge unnecessary files and paperwork from our lives! I will try to find a higher location to store my purse. And I will try to make the children work on Michael’s desk and not mine!
Are you organizationally challenged? How do you keep your family organized — especially the school notes, school work, activities and bills? What is your filing system? Where do they keep their backpacks, shoes, jackets, library books, etc … Where you do you hide your purse? How do you protect the piles on your desk?
You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com
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Testosterone patch or natural ways to boost sex drive?
U.S. News and World Report offers five ways to naturally increase your sex drive, but do they work? Do women need chemicals to help them achieve sexual satisfaction?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I forgot that it was supposed to be Fun Friday when I moved Factual Thursday’s entry to Friday when I had some real news to publish on pregnancy discrimination. So I am quickly writing up a Fun Friday entry for those who don’t want to discuss the environmental impact of diapers. (You can still discuss the diaper entry. I spent time writing that!)
U.S. News and World Report tells us that a new woman’s testosterone patch has been tested, and it appears to increase the number of a woman’s satisfying sexual encounters.
Deborah Kotz reports: “Those on a 300-microgram dose of the patch, called Intrinsa, had gratifying sex an average of 2.1 times in four weeks, compared with 1.2 times for those on a lower dose and 0.7 time for those on a placebo.
However, for those extra satisfying encounters, you could also gain hair where you don’t want it and a possible increase of breast cancer.
So Kotz offers five natural ways to increase your sex drive. Check them out and tell us what you think.
Have you tried any of these? Did they work? Would you use a testosterone patch?
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Are cloth diapers really more green than disposable ones?
A new study from the British government shows cloth diapers to be worse for the environment overall and now the government is trying to hush up the study.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There’s a big flap over nappies (translation-diapers) in Britain these days. Apparently the British government spent the £50,000 to determine whether cloth diapers or plastic disposable diapers are worse for the environment. And then, according to news reports, it didn’t like what it found.
The Times online reports: “The report found that using washable nappies, hailed by councils throughout Britain as a key way of saving the planet, have a higher carbon footprint than their disposable equivalents unless parents adopt an extreme approach to laundering them.”
“To reduce the impact of cloth nappies on climate change parents would have to hang wet nappies out to dry all year round, keep them for years for use on younger children, and make sure the water in their washing machines does not exceed 60C.”
“The conclusions will upset proponents of real nappies who have claimed they can help save the planet.” “Restricted Whitehall documents, seen by The Sunday Times, show that the government is so concerned by the ‘negative laundry options’ outlined in the report, it has told its media managers not to give its conclusions any publicity.”
“The report found that while disposable nappies used over 2½ years would have a global warming , impact of 550kg of CO2 reusable nappies produced 570kg of CO2 on average. But if parents used tumble dryers and washed the reusable nappies at 90C, the impact could spiral to . 993kg of CO2 A Defra spokesman said the government was shelving plans for future research on nappies.”
Patti Ghezzi, the AJC’s former Get Schooled blogger and now mommy, wrote in the AJC earlier this summer how she had decided to stop using her cloth diapers during the water shortage because she felt like using the water during the drought was worse than putting the disposable ones in a landfill at that point in time.
Of course there are other options according to this Earth friendly Web site — a hybrid diaper that has a cloth outer liner and a flushable inner liner. However, no mention on the cost per diaper for convenience as well as being environmentally sound.
What do think of the British findings about nappies? Does it change how you feel about which is the greener choice? What did you use with your children and why? What do you think about the new hybrid diaper?
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Pregnancy discrimination complaints jump, especially for women of color
Were you discriminated against while you were pregnant? Do you think women try to keep their pregnancies hidden as long as possible to protect their careers?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Thirty years after the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) was enacted on Oct. 31, 1978, a new study finds that discrimination complaints have increased greatly and are affecting women of color at a much higher rate than white women.
A new study released by the National Partnership for Women and Families found that in 2007, working women in the United States filed 65 percent more complaints of pregnancy discrimination with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) than they filed in 1992.
The press release states: “The new study finds that race and ethnicity appear to be playing a significant role in the rise of pregnancy discrimination complaints. During the discrete period from FY1996 to FY2005, claims filed by women of color jumped 76 percent, while claims overall increased by 25 percent. During that time, complaints filed by Black women increased by 45 percent, by Hispanic women by 135 percent, by Asian/Pacific Islander women by 90 percent, and by American Indian/Alaska Native women by 109 percent. More than half the claims filed with the EEOC during that period (53 percent) were filed in service, retail trade and the financial services, insurance and real estate industries - where some seven in 10 women work.”
“ ‘It is truly sobering that, 30 years after our nation outlawed discrimination on the basis of pregnancy, so many women are forced to file complaints with the EEOC,’ said National Partnership for Women & Families President Debra L. Ness. ‘We are especially concerned that so many women of color face pregnancy discrimination, and that employers in industries dominated by women workers are not obeying the law. Negative stereotypes about women, particularly pregnant women, clearly persist. We must strengthen enforcement of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act to make real the promise of equal opportunity in this country.’ ”
“The new study finds that, from FY1996 to FY2005, 38 states recorded an increase in pregnancy discrimination charges filed with the EEOC. Thirteen states (Arkansas, Iowa, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Texas, Vermont and Washington) and Puerto Rico saw increases of more than 50 percent in claims during this period.”
“ ‘The increase in complaints about pregnancy discrimination far outpaced the increase in women in the workforce during this time period,’ said National Partnership General Counsel Jocelyn Frye, who authored the report. ‘Because many women who face pregnancy discrimination are reluctant to file charges with the EEOC, the problem may be even more widespread than these figures suggest.’ ”
I asked the Partnership for Women & Families why they thought minorities were showing larger increases. Here’s the answer from General Counsel Frye.
“There is not a definitive answer to why minority groups are affected more by pregnancy discrimination, as there could be a number of factors in play. First, it could be related to negative stereotypes and attitudes about women of color — where the combination of gender bias and race or ethnic bias risk subjecting women of color to greater hostility or discrimination. Second, we have certainly speculated that it could also be related to the types of jobs women of color hold — many are disproportionately working in lower wage jobs with less opportunity for advancement. Third, it also could indicate greater awareness of discrimination. An increase in claims could reflect increased knowledge of the law and protections against pregnancy discrimination.”
Frye continued: “While we do not have enough information to come up with a definitive answer, the data at a minimum provides a compelling reason to look further and determine whether there are targeted enforcement efforts — for example, aimed at jobs where claims are highest, or where women of color work the most — that are effective in reducing the rate of pregnancy discrimination complaints.”
What do you think: Are you surprised by these numbers? Have you or your friends ever been discriminated against because you were pregnant? Did you file a complaint? Did you know you could file a complaint? Did you worry that good assignments or promotions would be kept from you when your employer found out you were pregnant? Did you try to keep your pregnancy under wraps for as long as possible?
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Are grandparents the next best thing to mom and dad?
A new study shows that grandparent caregivers cut kids’ injury risk in half.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A new study published in “Pediatrics” magazine has found: “When grandparents act as caregivers for children of working parents, the risk of childhood injury is reduced by about half.” Here’s the link to the study.
This U.S. study “challenges the widespread belief that children are more likely to suffer an injury while being cared for by grandparents.”
“Compared to organized day care or care by the mother or other relatives, having a grandmother take care of the children was associated with a decreased risk of injury, said Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health researchers.”
“ ‘Recent growth in the number of grandparents providing child care has some observers concerned they don’t adhere to modern safety practices. To the contrary, this research tells us not only is there no evidence to support this assumption, but families that choose grandparents to care for their children experience fewer child injuries,’ study author Dr. David Bishai, a professor in Bloomberg’s department of population, family and reproductive health, said in a news release.”
A couple of thoughts on this: I trust my parents, especially my mother, beyond anyone to care for my children. When we recently went to New York I didn’t worry about their care at all. (I worried about my baby missing me.) Not only does my mother keep them well fed, clean, and in bed on time, she is also very good at actively playing with all them (sewing with Rose, making monsters with Walsh, and taking care of baby dolls with the baby.) If my mother had been retired when we first had kids and was willing to keep our kids, I might have gone back to work.
However, with that said we did have to encourage her to buy a new crib seven years ago when the first grandbabies came because she still had her crib from when we were babies and the rails on it were too far apart. She didn’t think it was a big deal, but we finally convinced her it was. Also we’ve had a discussion about calling Poison Control. A few years back when Walsh got a hold of some medicine and drank some of it, I immediately called Poison Control and they told me I had an hour to get it out of his system. My mom said she would have watched him for a while and then decided whether she needed to take him in. Well at that point it would have been too late. Now granted, they didn’t have Poison Control when we were little and also he probably would never have gotten the medicine at my mom’s house. I told her when we went to New York if any of the children swallowed anything to call Poison Control immediately.
Did you notice the one line from the article though that says grandparents even do a better job than the mothers at keeping the children safe? I’m not sure what to make of that statement. Is it because statistically they are spending less time with the kids so there are more chances for injury on the parent’s watch?
What do you think: Do you trust your parents above everyone else to care for your children? Who do you trust more — the day care workers or your parents? Do they fight with you about old-fashion safety rules?
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Is the lesson of taking your kids to vote worth the effort?
I have been planning all along to take my kids to vote with me and now the long lines are scaring me to death!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve packed the Play-Doh, the coloring books and crayons, Mad Libs and most importantly the ring lollipops — I’m ready to go vote with my kids. I think.
I have been planning all along to take all three children (7, 5, and 19 months) to vote with me, but I’ve been getting more and more panicked by the anticipated record turn out!
I think it’s extremely important for them to see and understand how our government works. We’ve talked about the election and the candidates ad nauseam. They all went to vote with me in primary. My husband even went and taught my daughter’s class about the Electoral College.
I’ve always taken my kids to vote with me in the past but there’s never really been a bad line before. I’ve got photos of my two oldest sitting in the double stroller playing with Play-Doh waiting to vote in 2004.
I keep trying to tell myself that my line won’t be bad because:
The early voting will have reduced the crowd.
More polling places means the crowds will be more spread out.
My plan is to go after the morning rush and before the lunch crowd — when only retirees can vote.
But everyone I talk to thinks I’m wrong. They all think it’s going to be at least two hours to vote, and I’m not sure I’m up to the challenge. (I’ve come down with a sore throat and cold, which is not helping!)
Heck, we spent close to two hours at the pediatrician’s office yesterday and that was terrible. Sitting in a small room with three children touching germy things was miserable and I think the voting line will feel similar, except they’ll be annoying other people as well.
Other possible plans:
Take the kids with me to vote but call my husband to come get them if the line gets too ridiculous or if things are going poorly. (My husband works the late shift on election night so he’ll be home in the morning.)
Wait in line and then call my husband to bring me the kids when I get close. I’m not sure if the other voters or the people running the place would have a problem with that. (I feel like I’m working too hard on this, but it is a historic election.)
Here are some sites and articles I found on taking your kids to vote:
How to get the most out of taking your kids to the voting booth
Take Your Kids 2 Vote — A site devoted to“make democracy a family affair.” Sadly only 454 people have pledged to take their kids to vote.
What do you think: Is the lesson of how voting works and patriotism worth standing in line with small children? How long are you willing to wait with kids? At what age do you think the experience sticks? Is this particular election more important to take your to than others? What are you doing with your kids if you’re not taking them to vote (public schools are out for the day)? How do you plan to keep them busy if you do take them?
Here’s my update on what ended up happening today: As I mentioned in the blog earlier, I came down with a cold yesterday and woke up feeling terrible. I had to take my 7-year-old to an orthodontist appointment at 8:15 a.m. before I could go vote. I had pretty much decided to leave the 19-month at home with my husband since she truly would not get anything out of voting. My 5-year-old son had opted out the night before telling me “he’d watch it on TV” and I should look at the camera so he could see me vote. I think getting up early to go to the orthodontist and knowing she had the option to stay home swayed my 7-year-old. She told me she’d rather stay home and play. Since I felt so terrible (sore throat and achy all over) I decided not to fight the crowd. (They did watch and help me vote in the primary so they did have some clue about the process.) I ended up waiting about an hour and 15 minutes alone with a book. (The only complication was I couldn’t find and still can’t find my current driver’s license. I’m pretty sure the baby has absconded with it and put it in one of her many purses. I finally found my expired license and they let me vote with that.) I am planning on the kids watching some of the election coverage tonight. I’m sad they weren’t as excited about voting as I was.
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Searching for a church community
A tearful decision to switch churches helped us find a sense of belonging that we didn’t have at the church my family has attended for 40 years.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My family has attended the same church in Decatur for almost 40 years. My parents were married there in the 1960s. My brother and I were baptized there. I was married there and baptized all three of my children at the church. Families at that church have known me longer than my husband.
So you can understand why it was painful to decide: Should we stay at the church I’ve known my entire life or switch to a closer church that would make our family life much easier?
We struggled all last year with this decision. Although we loved the church and the people there, it is a 30-minute drive away and had a relatively new schedule that made attending Sunday school and services tough. We had to get up by 7:30 a.m. to make 9 a.m. Sunday school. The next service available was at 11:30 a.m., which was more than an hour wait after Sunday school.
Our interim solution was for my parents to take the kids to Sunday school, and then we would pick them after. We’d kill an hour eating donuts and playing on the church’s playground and then attend services. The kids would be hyped up from the sugar in the donuts so it was a tough hour and fifteen minutes to get through church. Door-to-door our whole church experience lasted about four and a half hours, which left us exhausted for the rest of the day and feeling more angry than spiritual.
Outside of Sunday services, we never attended events there. We just weren’t willing to drive 30 minutes into town on a Friday night for a Lenten fish fry or on a Saturday for a festival.
After many tearful conversations, we finally made the decision to switch.
And what we’ve discovered is that even though we don’t have a 40-year history at the new church, we have found a much greater sense of community and belonging.
These are the families with whom our children attended preschool and now attend elementary school. These are the families we see at the grocery store and at the parks. Our kids love seeing their friends in the church pews and so do we.
And because we enjoy seeing our friends and because the church is only five minutes away, we have found that we are spending a lot more time there. The kids went to Vacation Bible School during the summer, and I was able to help out teaching. We had a fantastic time at the church’s fall festival dinner and dance. The kids had pizza and played games with their friends, and we dined and visited with all the parents. We also seem to drop in at the church more often just to visit.
On top of being located closer to home, the school of religion schedule is much easier for us. The church offers religion classes on a week night, which makes choosing a weekend service very flexible.
To further reinforce our feeling that we had made the right decision to switch, we found the new church had a need we could fill. The church wanted to start a children’s liturgy of the word program. I had helped with the program at our old church for four years and was happy to set it up at the new church. It’s felt great to be useful to the new church and also has been a fantastic way to meet lots of new families.
Of course, we are sad about not attending church with my parents anymore, and I’m not sure how we’re going to handle the holiday services. We want to celebrate with my parents, but we would miss terribly our new parish family. Maybe we can convince my parents to switch as well — at least for Christmas Eve.
Have you ever switched churches? Why did you decide to leave? How much do you think proximity matters in finding community in a church? You can email Theresa with comments or ideas at ajcmomania@gmail.com
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