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DEL.ICIO.USTeaching kids to be thankful
It’s tough lesson to teach, but this is a year for families to be truly grateful for what they have.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s a tough trick for parents to teach their kids to be thankful for all that they have — especially when they’ve always had everything they’ve needed.
My kids have never missed a meal. They’ve never gone to school on a cold day without a coat and never had to shove their feet into shoes that were too small.
While we don’t buy them everything they want, they have certainly never lacked the essentials. It’s important to us that they know how lucky and blessed they are and how fluid that situation is.
We talk about it often with them at home. We tell them each and every day that they are lucky to have warm food, warm clothes and a warm house. We tell them we are grateful to have jobs, and we want to make wise financial decisions to protect our family. When they go to bed, we thank God for their warm PJs, warm beds and our healthy family.
We want them to understand, without trying to scare them, that especially in this economy, things can change quickly. We want them to appreciate all that we have and also learn to be frugal in such uncertain times.
Sometimes it seems like we’re getting through to them.
Our 5-year-old son recently raised his hand in children’s church to pray for a close relative who is ill. He also wanted to call the relative because he said his heart was sad for him.
However, in that same week, we found the after-effects of an artistic explosion on his walls and door — doodling and writing everywhere.
So he apparently understands to be thankful for his health and to be sympathetic to others, but doesn’t understand to respect his belongings.
Our 7-year-old daughter is very empathetic. Her teacher even noticed that she is easily brought to tears when the class talks about animals or people that are hurt in some way.
However on the other hand, she routinely turns her nose up at meals and wastes food that other children, hungry children, would love to have.
I’m not completely sure how to decide when their behavior is appropriate for their age or when they are being unappreciative of what they have.
I think living in the suburbs makes it harder for children to comprehend those without because they don’t physically see them. When we lived in New York City, you couldn’t leave your apartment without seeing homeless people. You knew they had slept out in the cold that night. You knew they hadn’t eaten a square dinner or breakfast. You also knew they had no place to go to the bathroom. It absolutely made you appreciate all you had and also made you want to help. It heightened your awareness of the needs of others.
I was telling my girlfriend last week that I am searching for good service projects for our family to do together. She reminded me that even small things can make a big impression on the children. She said her Girl Scout troop write “notes of gratitude” throughout the year. The notes are to thank people, other than their parents and grandparents, for helping the children. The troop wrote notes to the maintenance workers, lunchroom ladies and office workers at their schools — people whose services are often overlooked.
Whether through big projects or small, my hope for this holiday season (and beyond) is to further my children’s appreciation and understanding of how blessed our family is and to help them understand it is their responsibility to share their blessings with others.
Are your kids grateful for what your family has? Do they comprehend that others have less? What age do you think they begin to understand these concepts? How do you reinforce those concepts?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas are always welcome.
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By JJ
November 24, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
I’ll take the lead here as first poster.
Morning all!!!
My daughter and I are very thankful for what we have. We don’t have as much as others, but we have more than some. She knows what it takes for us to keep our nose just above the water line.
Although she goes to school with ALOT of rich kids, she seems to appreciate what we have, and what we have worked so hard for. She knows I struggle, and she helps out when she can. By that I mean, for example, she forgoes a brand new pair of the hottest boots, until WE can both save the money. Big ticket items require effort on her part, now that she has a job, possibly two jobs, (A friend of ours owns a small business and hires my daughter during the holidays and summers).
She knows that we cannot afford designer this and that. But she knows she has food on the table, a warm bed to sleep in, new clothes, and a warm, loving family.
She also knows she has to work hard for the things she wants.
I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, my warm loving, supportive family, my wonderful friends, my home, my health and the fact that in these economic times, I have a little money in the bank and I have a job.
By lakerat
November 24, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this
I’m thankful that my life is better than all of yours.
By motherjanegoose
November 24, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this
Theresa…this is great topic! sorry for this LONG post! I am off this week!
This may be redundant for me but I will say that children will observe their parents and how thankful they are. In our family, we have established that we are blessed as we have always had food in our pantry, warm beds at night, a chance for education, books to read and those who love us….even our little dog is loved. My daughter treats her like a child and told her last night, that on Thursday ( before we pray over our dinner) we all say something we are thankful for…she’d better get ready…we laughed!
Many children in the metro area are so spoiled that they do not know how much they have. These are the ones who drive new BMW’s in high school, have the latest cell phones, their own credit cards, and IPODS . One I know about whose parents allow him over $1000 spending money per month while he is at college…even though everything is paid for. HELLO…I do not allow myself $1000 per month to buy whatever I wish for myself and I have my own business.
YES, service projects are so important! You are on the right track to establish a spirit of giving while the children are small.
I was out of town when a group dropped off bags in our neighborhood that would be picked up on Halloween. My daughter had the bag filled and at the front door when I got home ( she is 16) I asked about it, as I passed it on the way upstairs… this is nothing new to her…we have always shared our blessings.
Lest anyone acts like I have NO idea what it is like not to have money… we were married 26 years ago and made $20,000 between the 2 of us. We rented a ratty trailer that came furnished with nasty furniture I would not want to sit on now. It had it’s own pets…roaches…yes!
We have come a LONG way and realize that God has blessed us…we ate dinner at restaurants all weekend and would have NEVER been able to do that 20 years ago. My daughter has 2 new winter coats…that we bought on sale….one from Costco.
We took a huge hit about 3 years ago but we have regrouped and now that I have been somewhat successful with my business…we are back on our feet. We do not look at our 401 K balances yet ( LOL) as we may be working forever…hahaha!
Years ago, we went to San Diego and I took our kids to Tiajuana ( sp?) to see the children who were sitting there and thrilled for a nickel to be dropped in their cup.
Not everyone had what we have in America and the chance to work and get what you want. No one makes people stay in the areas that are depressed…anyone COULD move from one state to another ( yes it takes guts and can be a challenge)…remember those who came to America from Europe in the early 1900’s as 14 year olds with $10 in their pocket and survived…I am not saying I would want my child to do this but there are opportunities here that other countries do not have…. girls going to school…something we take for granted!
I have recently been to smaller towns and those children do not have near what our kids expect…we are spoiled in metro Atlanta!
My friends in North Dakota asked if I had a BIG garden each summer…NO, we can get fresh produce at most grocery stores here without even thinking about it…do we worry about finding the types of food we want for our dinner on Thursday?
We have always made a practice of dropping change into the Salvation Army bucket EACH time we passed…even just a dime…our kids knew this when they were small…they can learn things early.
Even adults are not thankful for everything…have you ever been in a hurry and had to pull over for a fire truck…we should be thankful that our house is not burning down and that we have the firefighters who will come to help us if we need them…I for one do not say to myself…thank-you firefighters…perhaps I should!
I KNOW I am not thankful when a police officer is right behind me…maybe I should remember that our roads and neighborhoods are safer because of them patrolling!
Hug your kids and enjoy your family…I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving
By Paula
November 24, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
Get a life, lakerat. I guess your name says it all.
I try to instill in my children manners and sensibility. And I definitely try to make them understand that when they don’t get the newest toy or whatever it is, right away, that they should be thankful for what the DO have. As bad as it may sound, I think that it is a good idea for children to see those who don’t have much, so that maybe they will be more appreciative of what they have. Motherjanegoose, I think it was good for your children to see what living without is like. I, too, have been to Tiajuana. What a sad place.
I think that there are many times where we as adults seem to forget that we should be thankful too. After all, where do our children learn most of their life lessons and habits from (besides school)? Us as parents, that’s where.
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!
By KEITH
November 24, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this
MY CHILDREN AND MY WHOLE FAMILY ARE JUST THANKFUL WE DONT HAVE ANY OF THEM KNEEGROWS IN OUR NAYBORHOOD
By new mom
November 24, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
Well, if my family reads this, they will certainly know who I am by this post :)
This has been bothering me, make that burdening me, that our daughter grow up thankful, thoughtful, and compassionate to others. And these days, it’s harder to teach that, you have to show it in your daily lives.
We love our family—but our daughter is the only grandchild on each side, and everyone loves to spoil her. They all do it out of love…Her first birthday in September gave way to a deluge of gifts, more than our modest house will hold. That overabundance of gifts, along with the fear of it happening all over again for Christmas, was too much for my husband and me to bear (especially now, knowing how many children are in need, and fewer people financially able to give)
This thanksgiving (which started yesterday for one side) we gave out letters, offering another option for this Christmas. We suggested them give her something small, like a book, and whatever else they want to buy her, donate it to either toys for tots or Clark’s Christmas kids in our daughter’s name. We also suggested that they take a picture of the gift, and write a note to our daughter explaining why they did this, and letting her know why it’s important to give to those in need, that some child will be blessed because of her. We’re going to keep these letters, put them in a book for her, and each year show her how her family gives to others. Trust me, our daughter doesn’t go without, but hopefully this will help remind her how blessed she is, and how important it is to give back. ‘But not for the grace of God, go I’. I can’t say it went over well, it’s quite a foreign concept these days. I just don’t want her to grow up associating Christmas with tearing through tons of gifts in twenty minutes, not appreciating what she has. I hope that these letters (if anyone chooses to do this) will last longer than a room full of toys she’ll loose interest in and outgrow quickly.
I enjoy reading others’ ideas of service projects, we are looking forward to involving her in some of the things we do.
By JJ
November 24, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
newMom Suggest your relatives buy Double E series Savings bonds for college for the little one. They can be put in her name.
My Mom used to do that for each of her grandchildren. I have a bunch at home, waiting to be cashed to use for my daughter’s college tuition.
A $100 savings bond only costs $50, and they take 7 years to mature. I understand, and I may be wrong, that if they are used strictly for college, you do not pay in the “interest” when the mature to face value.
By new mom
November 24, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this
Hi JJ! Thanks for the suggestion. We’ve got a college acct set up for her, and some have contributed to it over the last 14 mths (in addition to our monthly auto-deposit). I do like that idea, but I guess I was just hoping this Christmas I could help my family get into the habit of giving other kids toys, in addition to our daughter.
You know, it’s hard to balance what everyone whats to do with what will be best for her in the long run, ie college, savings, charitible giving, etc. We’ve got a separate savings acct for her too, which we’ll use to teach her how to deposit her own money into and (hopefully!) watch it grow. Teaching her about finances and economics is very important to us too! :)
By motherjanegoose
November 24, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this
Paula…this is most likely not the real lakerat but an imposter…he comes in with comments every once in a while just to stir things up.
I even had those who tried to pose as me. These folks have nothing real to contribute …it is too bad. Perhaps we will hear from the real lakerat sometime this week. Too bad Keith had to join us and show his ignorance …..
JJ…that is a great idea.
Paula…my husband’s side of the family all live in small bungalows ( the norm for the area) and our children used to ask when they were little… “why is their house so small?” I would change to it…we are blessed that our house is big and that we have room. We have a picture of the bungalow that my husband’s grandmother raised 9 children in…whew! We took it this summer when we went in for my mother in law’s funeral.
By new mom
November 24, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
I’d like to clarify my last post—our main purpose in our ‘donate toys on behalf of our daughter’ suggestion is to teach our daughter, over the years, to be thoughtful of others and that, even though she’s our precious sweetheart and we all love her, it’s “not all about her”, and she’s not the center of the universe.
If any of our family finds themselves enjoying the donating, or developing a habit of this, that’s great too. But we’re trying not to come across like we’re telling them what to do, or that we don’t think they donate enough. We actually weighed this decision and knew it might risk ruffling some feathers, but have tried to do this in the sweetest way we can. :)
By KEITH
November 24, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
MOTHERJANEGOOSE:YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME HOW YOU KNOW IF IM IGNORANCE OR KNOT
By deidre_NC
November 24, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
we always take at least one ornament off the giving trees set up everywhere. even when we are broke we make sure to do this as there are always others worse off than we are. there will only be 1 gift for each of the little kids-4 of them-this year..my kids are getting nothing. only the grands. but the tree ornament will be taken and a gift gotten-when the kids were young i would let them pick one of their gender and pick out the gift. ive noticed lately that someone writes on the ornament what the kid wants-when it is a pair of shoes or a winter coat it just kills me. at least we all have that. and a home. i think maybe some of these kids are foster kids, not sure. anyway-thats what we do..also-put food in food gathering boexes and toys for tots. i can sit here and bemoan my circumstances..but i am sitting here-in my home-warm-playing on my computer-not so bad huh?
By motherjanegoose
November 24, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
Keith surely you jest……I do not k now you but your grammar and spelling speak for themselves.
I just had this talk with my daughter yesterday about subjective and objective opinions. I was subjective in mentioning your ignorance after your first post but objective after this recent post…can anyone explain this any better to Keith? The handwriting is on the wall or should we say in his post…LOL.
By parentof4
November 24, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
I can tell that my children are thankful, but not by me reminding them to be thankful or with holding anything. Yes they throw out more food than they should. Yes 2 have created wonderful art projects on my walls (sarcastic here).
However, I have observed that when my children saw us take in foster kids, because their parents could not take care of them. They seemed grateful for have us as parents. When I saw my 5 year question why the lady was ringing a bell outside of Kroger and I told her it was the Salvation Army trying to raise money to help others. She immediately gave a penny that she found to the lady on her own. (yes at first I was like, that was just a penny but I remarked at the act not the amount). Or when I told my kids we would support a child in a group home this Christmas and buy him a gift (after explaining why we were doing it) my youngest child said why don’t we just buy him. (His way of suggesting adoption).
I realized the only way I can teach my child about be thankful, without just making them see people who have less than us. Is by helping others and showing kindness to others. Not only are my children thankful for what they have, but they in turn help others.
They still do not know how to appreciate their gifts…but that will come with age. Or the fact that I do not replace what was broken.
By motherjanegoose
November 24, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
I am about to get sad here…is no one else thankful or is everyone to busy to be thankful…this is a big problem. On the flip side…I came up with a great idea.
Years ago, when mine were in elementary we had what I called WORD WEDNESDAY. Each of us had to come to the dinner table with a new word…I had someone else tell me they did this at their house to broaden the children’s vocabularies. It was a toot when they were running around looking up words after school on Wednesday and sharing obscure thing we had no idea about!
How about THANKFUL THURSDAY….every Thursday each person in the family tells something they are thankful for….maybe schools would like to do it too. Off to buy my groceries!
By KEITH
November 24, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this
MOTHERJANEGOOSE:WHUT?MAN I BET YOUR A HARD WOMEN TO LIVE WITH IM THANKFUL NOT JUST CAUSE THERE AINT NO KNEEGROWS IN MY NAYBORHOOD BUT GLAD YOU AINT MY WIFE
By new mom
November 24, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this
MJG, that’s a great idea, both the Word Wednesday and Thankful Thursday. We all have so much to be thankful for!
I am choosing to think that everyone is way too busy working, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. to write today. :D Let’s try to look on the bright side!
And good luck at the grocery store…I was sneaky and volunteered for dishes that I could buy the ingredients in advance, so I got my grocery shopping done last week. ;)
By Kool-Aid House
November 24, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
I not even going to read all of these just yet because I can’t get past the first post of the morning…JJ, I feel everything in that post. My daughter and I do not have a lot either, but we know what it’s like to keep our noses just slightly above the water line. You got me teary eyed this morning. Anyway, I am thankful that after 2.5 years of divorce I’m still in my home, she’s happy, bills are basically paid on time and I have food in the fridge. That materialistic BS is just that BS. For my survival, and probably for some of you, keep your overhead down and things can be easier. I don’t even have cable.
Anyway, I have always taught my daughter the importance of being “thankful” for all she has and all that others have done for her. An art that I don’t understand why some parents no longer enforce is the art of the “thank you” card. My child is now 14 and she still writes out her “thank you” cards. Thank you JJ for letting your post truly touch me. I so understand!
By JJ
November 24, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this
We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with my Mom, brother, and nieces. After the blessing is said, we take turns going around the table, telling what we are thankful for.
Motherjane I am thankful for my wonderful family.
I am thankful I am gainfully employed in these stressful economic times.
I am thankful my daughter is also gainfully employed.
I am thankful for my health.
I am thankful my child is going to college next fall, and I am able to contribute financially to her higher education.
I am so thankful for my wonderful family. The love and support I receive from (and give) them is truly a blessing.
I am thankful that my 17 year old daughter still likes to be around me, and actually listens to me once in awhile (humor).
I am thankful I live in a free country. I am thankful to ALL the men and women who have gone before me to allow me to live free.
I am thankful each and every day I get out of bed that I am able to take care of myself and mine.
AND I let the people in my life KNOW that I am thankful they are IN my life. I show it every day.
By Kool-Aid House
November 24, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this
I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to open my eyes this morning.
I’m thankful that although my child just turn 14 and can be a “snot”, she’s my pure d joy.
I’m thankful that I have friends and family that love me.
I’m thankful that I attend a church that I absolutely love and volunteering is not a chore, but a love from my heart.
I’m thankful to live in AMERICA!
By Penguinmom
November 24, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
I think that parents saying thank you and modeling thankfulness is one of the key things.
Theresa, I thought your examples were interesting. Ever since I was a child, I’ve thought the ‘wasting food when others are hungry’ thing was bogus. (yes, I’m a picky eater.) It’s not like that food would actually go to the needy person.
If you want to model the concept of giving up food for the needy, have your oldest child skip one meal and donate the money that would have been spent to a food pantry. Or, grab a paper grocery bag and give your daughter $20 to spend at Kroger filling the bag with food for the needy.
I would never have connected drawing on the walls with being ungrateful. I guess in a really broad sense it is, but for a young child, I don’t think that connection is there.
To me, young children should learn giving to others (we do Operation Shoebox and fill bags with food for the food pantries) and they should learn to express thankfulness and to think of others.
I think a true spirit of thankfulness requires some amount of maturity to understand how easily circumstances can change and how tenuous our grasp on our things is.
By Janice
November 24, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
Oh PLEASE! Last year I ws shopping with my 16-year old daughter & I had a FIT when she gave a dollar to a homeless bum. I’ve tried to instill in her that she should be thankful we brought her up to be a responsible human being who doesn’t have an entitlement complex & feels the world owes her a living
By Kool-Aid House
November 24, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
???? What are you saying Janice. Her sense of entitlement seems to be squelched by her extending a hand to help the homeless man. A dollar is a dollar. If she felt the world truly owes her she wouldn’t have felt the need to be empathetic toward another.
By Penguinmom
November 24, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
NewMom, I’ve been considering doing something similar with my husband’s extended family. His aunts and uncles and cousins all give my kids presents. My kids really, really don’t need the extra stuff. I’d so love for the relatives to purchase toys for my children and then drop it in the Toys for Tots box, or give it to Angel tree or whatever donation thing they can find. It would mean so much more in the long run.
My mom’s side of the family has a really wonderful Christmas (in July) tradition. We stopped exchanging presents years ago. Instead we pass the hat and donate the amount we would have spent on presents. Then one family group takes the money and finds ways to donate it throughout the year. When we get back together the next year, they give us a report of who was helped by the money. It is so neat to hear about the different lives our family has touched.
Another thought to cut back on the ‘stuff’ your child receives, Request a membership to the zoo or to the High. These are non-profit organizations so your membership helps keep them open and it provides wonderful memories ALL year instead of just on Christmas day.
By JJ
November 24, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
kool-aide Wow, I had no idea my post would make such in impact. Thank you for the kind words. ;)
Motherjane You have GOT to quit feeding these trolls girlfriend! You came very close to allowing the imposter and original Lakerat run you off. Don’t!!! We, at least I, value your opinion and experience.
By Becky
November 24, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this
I won’t post a long post, I’ll just say that I’m in agreement with JJ & others on a lot of the things that they are thankful for.
I will add that I’m thankful for my 2 “grandchildredn”..
I’m thankful that my car is paid for..
I’m thankful that I go to a wonderful church with wonderful people.
I’m also thankful for the great people on the MOMania blog that I consider to be friends even if we’ve never met..
I hope that all have a safe, wonderful, happy Thanksgiving..
By Tiffany
November 24, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
This comment is directed at JANICE. Instead of pitching a fit that your daughter offered a dollar to a homeless man, you should be counting your blessings! It appears that your teen daughter is a compassionate and caring individual. You should be proud of her instead of critical. My kids have always been taught that it is our duty to help others in need. I think that YOU need to stop being so judgemental of others who are less fortunate than you are!
By Becky
November 24, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this
Oops, guess I didn’t really answer the topic.
I always teach my 2 that we should help others out & that there are a lot of kids that don’t have all of the things that they have..
Since they are 6, they are still learning & do really good at times..
Janice, I’m sorry that you feel that way..I have a sister that is the same way & she’s a lonely, bitter person..I know from growing up with very little that there are a lot of people out there that have nothing compared to what I have…
By JJ
November 24, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
A number of years back, I was approached by a woman who claimed to be homeless, and could I spare a few dollars. I fell for it, and handed her $4.00. I then watched her go and had that $4.00 to a man standing around the corner and then she went and tried to “hustle” another “victim”.
THAT was the LAST time I ever handed money to a “begger”. I will contribute to charity, but I will never again hand a “homeless” person money.
I wonder if that was what Janice was pitching a fit about???
By Becky
November 24, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
JJ, you are probably right about that..I only give to Shriners & the firemen that collect..I give to the Shriners because I (ex husband) where all of the money that’s donated goes to..I have had family that’s been helped from them..
By Becky
November 24, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this
oops, should read because I know where the money goes too..
By FCM
November 24, 2008 5:34 PM | Link to this
I children know from experience what is like to be told “we don’t have money for that” The know that I pray over the bills—yes I really do this. They know from having me laid off for a time what is like to wonder—although they never did without the necessities. Now they see more thought in the process of what we are buying, and are less likely to ask for ‘everything’.
Like most posters (and the lead blogger) said, it comes from what they learn at home. We HAVE to teach this to them. Giving into a child’s every whim is not healthy.
My children are very excited about a can food drive…I started to feel my pockets (and humanity) scream….I want to go into hording mode. However I recall what I always tell people “It can always get worse.” (Don’t ask how, as Grandma used to say “Don’t invite trouble.”)
Yesterday during the sermon it suddenly hit me….I have lots of loose change…the kids will get to earn some of that and go buy the can goods to help others….I am going to buy a ton of rice and beans (it may be cheap and boring but it can also keep a belly from crying in hunger).
Theresa another thing to do is hand them money for the collection plate. Even if you write a check to the church to tithe…make sure your children see you put money ($1 works) in the plate…or tell them to put the money (again $1) you give them in the plate…that alones shows them to think outside themselves. (Writing the check is good but children seldom see it in action).
By FCM
November 24, 2008 5:36 PM | Link to this
I children know from experience what is like to be told “we don’t have money for that” The know that I pray over the bills—yes I really do this. They know from having me laid off for a time what is like to wonder—although they never did without the necessities. Now they see more thought in the process of what we are buying, and are less likely to ask for ‘everything’.
Like most posters (and the lead blogger) said, it comes from what they learn at home. We HAVE to teach this to them. Giving into a child’s every whim is not healthy.
My children are very excited about a can food drive…I started to feel my pockets (and humanity) scream….I want to go into hording mode. However I recall what I always tell people “It can always get worse.” (Don’t ask how, as Grandma used to say “Don’t invite trouble.”)
Yesterday during the sermon it suddenly hit me….I have lots of loose change…the kids will get to earn some of that and go buy the can goods to help others….I am going to buy a ton of rice and beans (it may be cheap and boring but it can also keep a belly from crying in hunger).
Theresa another thing to do is hand them money for the collection plate. Even if you write a check to the church to tithe…make sure your children see you put money ($1 works) in the plate…or tell them to put the money (again $1) you give them in the plate…that alones shows them to think outside themselves. (Writing the check is good but children seldom see it in action).
OH and doing the Good Will bag is good for teaching the little people too.
I am looking for the bell ringers for the salvation army.
By FCM
November 24, 2008 5:36 PM | Link to this
I children know from experience what is like to be told “we don’t have money for that” The know that I pray over the bills—yes I really do this. They know from having me laid off for a time what is like to wonder—although they never did without the necessities. Now they see more thought in the process of what we are buying, and are less likely to ask for ‘everything’.
Like most posters (and the lead blogger) said, it comes from what they learn at home. We HAVE to teach this to them. Giving into a child’s every whim is not healthy.
My children are very excited about a can food drive…I started to feel my pockets (and humanity) scream….I want to go into hording mode. However I recall what I always tell people “It can always get worse.” (Don’t ask how, as Grandma used to say “Don’t invite trouble.”)
Yesterday during the sermon it suddenly hit me….I have lots of loose change…the kids will get to earn some of that and go buy the can goods to help others….I am going to buy a ton of rice and beans (it may be cheap and boring but it can also keep a belly from crying in hunger).
Theresa another thing to do is hand them money for the collection plate. Even if you write a check to the church to tithe…make sure your children see you put money ($1 works) in the plate…or tell them to put the money (again $1) you give them in the plate…that alones shows them to think outside themselves. (Writing the check is good but children seldom see it in action).
OH and doing the Good Will bag is good for teaching the little people too.
I am looking for the bell ringers for the salvation army.
By nurse&mother
November 24, 2008 6:55 PM | Link to this
JJ is right. I saw a program on those that hang out on exit ramps etc. The program uncovered the fact that these folks are making hundreds of dollars a day! If anyone is legitimate, they will go to the nearest homeless shelter. Every city has one (or more). Even my small town has a few. I will direct those to the nearest shelter. Then you don’t have to worry about being scammed, and you can feel good about yourself. If you want to do more for the homeless, then make a donation to the shelter. Or better yet, volunteer your time at Thanksgiving or Christmas serving lunch. My mom dropped my sister and I off one year at Thanksgiving. It was an eye opener. It made up feel thankful.
One thing I used to do is give a homeless person a burger and fries. If he is truly hungry, he will eat it.
One last note- my husband had a homeless person vandalize his commercial building that is under construction. The man littered the place with a specific brand of cigarettes (that is not your average brand). He also broke beer bottles and scattered them around (my husband got cut cleaning it all up). To top it all off the man crapped all around the building. My husband was furious. He happened to see the man a short time later smoking the same brand of cigarettes that he found. He confronted the man who only initially denied it, but later fessed up to it. My husband told him he better get the &*%# off his property and furthermore off that exit or he would call the law. Needless to say, he got the heck out of dodge.
I’m sure that there are a few homless people who are legit, but most of them know where to legitimately go if they are seeking help and a hand up (not a handout!)
By FCM
November 25, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this
Sorry about the triple post…
By pj
November 25, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
My daughter has a sensitive heart and seems to want to give to others, as she can. We have faced tough times, but she is still spoiled with material things. She has friends who are much richer thean she is, but she also knows a few who have less. Her immediate reaction may be a selfish one, if she cannot get what she wants. Fortunately she always seems to come around and realize that she has much more than she needs. She’s 13, so of course she’d like to get all the “cool” stuff her rich friends get, but for the most part her desires are not unreasonable. I am grateful for my daughter, the love and joy she has brought to my life. We have many, many blessings, so in general, I have a heart filled with gratitude. My daughter recently pointed out to me that we never give to the Salvation Army bell ringers (don’t know why). But she has seen me make up the difference for someone ahead of us in the grocery store, or give to the beggars at the off ramp. Perhaps, after reading this I’ll need to reverse that order. All in all, I think my daughter (who still writes thank you notes) is very thankful when she takes a moment to think.
By Ayn Rand was Right
November 27, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
We start and end everyday with two things we are thankful for that day. Today I am thankful for the family that has come before me. Because of them, I have a strong foundation. I am also thankful for the family still with me. Because of them, I have people with whom to share my blessings.
My 5 year old is thankful for Mommy and Daddy and that PaPa (my dad that passed this year) is in his heart to share his thankfulness.
Happy Thanksgiving!
By catlady
November 28, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Rather than give your daughter money to buy food to give away, let her EARN the money and then buy the food with it.
Bu,t even better, children should be donating their TIME and ENERGY to doing things for the less fortunate (picking up sticks from an elderly neighbors yard or sweeping their patio, for example). No pay, just the glow of a job done for someone who cannot do it themselves.
Hearing their parents casually expressing thankfulness for things wouldn’t hurt (I am so thankful to have this dryer for our clothes, etc)