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Sunday, November 23, 2008
Teaching kids to be thankful
It’s tough lesson to teach, but this is a year for families to be truly grateful for what they have.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s a tough trick for parents to teach their kids to be thankful for all that they have — especially when they’ve always had everything they’ve needed.
My kids have never missed a meal. They’ve never gone to school on a cold day without a coat and never had to shove their feet into shoes that were too small.
While we don’t buy them everything they want, they have certainly never lacked the essentials. It’s important to us that they know how lucky and blessed they are and how fluid that situation is.
We talk about it often with them at home. We tell them each and every day that they are lucky to have warm food, warm clothes and a warm house. We tell them we are grateful to have jobs, and we want to make wise financial decisions to protect our family. When they go to bed, we thank God for their warm PJs, warm beds and our healthy family.
We want them to understand, without trying to scare them, that especially in this economy, things can change quickly. We want them to appreciate all that we have and also learn to be frugal in such uncertain times.
Sometimes it seems like we’re getting through to them.
Our 5-year-old son recently raised his hand in children’s church to pray for a close relative who is ill. He also wanted to call the relative because he said his heart was sad for him.
However, in that same week, we found the after-effects of an artistic explosion on his walls and door — doodling and writing everywhere.
So he apparently understands to be thankful for his health and to be sympathetic to others, but doesn’t understand to respect his belongings.
Our 7-year-old daughter is very empathetic. Her teacher even noticed that she is easily brought to tears when the class talks about animals or people that are hurt in some way.
However on the other hand, she routinely turns her nose up at meals and wastes food that other children, hungry children, would love to have.
I’m not completely sure how to decide when their behavior is appropriate for their age or when they are being unappreciative of what they have.
I think living in the suburbs makes it harder for children to comprehend those without because they don’t physically see them. When we lived in New York City, you couldn’t leave your apartment without seeing homeless people. You knew they had slept out in the cold that night. You knew they hadn’t eaten a square dinner or breakfast. You also knew they had no place to go to the bathroom. It absolutely made you appreciate all you had and also made you want to help. It heightened your awareness of the needs of others.
I was telling my girlfriend last week that I am searching for good service projects for our family to do together. She reminded me that even small things can make a big impression on the children. She said her Girl Scout troop write “notes of gratitude” throughout the year. The notes are to thank people, other than their parents and grandparents, for helping the children. The troop wrote notes to the maintenance workers, lunchroom ladies and office workers at their schools — people whose services are often overlooked.
Whether through big projects or small, my hope for this holiday season (and beyond) is to further my children’s appreciation and understanding of how blessed our family is and to help them understand it is their responsibility to share their blessings with others.
Are your kids grateful for what your family has? Do they comprehend that others have less? What age do you think they begin to understand these concepts? How do you reinforce those concepts?
You can email Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas are always welcome.
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