Home > Health > MOMania > Archives > 2008 > October > 26 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USHow much work does it take to get this stay-at-home mom Manhattan-ready?
It took several weeks, multiple experts and a charge card to get me prepped for the Big City and restore me to my pre-child state (sort of).
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How much work does it take to get a stay-at-home mom ready for a big event in New York City? I whole heck of a lot — at least in my case.
My husband was being honored by his company with an award and a fancy dinner in New York City. It meant a free three-day trip to Manhattan, but it also meant I had to make myself presentable to people beyond children and other mothers. (The president of his company and the board of directors were among the guests at the dinner.)
Before I had kids, it wouldn’t have taken much work to get ready for this type of event, but after seven years of not going into an office and only hanging out with children my standards have dropped — along with my breasts.
The Ann Taylor Loft jean skirt that I live in may be fine for taking my daughter to Girl Scouts or helping out in kindergarten, but it doesn’t fly in the Big Apple. Other obstacles included needing a bra that didn’t flip open for nursing, color on graying hair and make up that wasn’t purchased along with diapers at my local Publix. Shopping would be necessary! (Luckily, there was a cash prize with my husband’s award so I wasn’t taking food from the babies to clean myself up.)
My first stop was Nordstrom for some guidance on what type of outfit would be appropriate and how to hide my flaws. The saleswoman helped me choose a dress (in fact lots of saleswomen weighed in on the decision), and even went up to lingerie to bring me down some “shapewear” to try on under the dress.
Ladies, let me tell you about “shapewear.” It is essentially a girdle that doesn’t hurt. There’s none of the painful bones that you might remember from your wedding corset. (The only time I have ever worn anything like that.) The new stuff is like a tight bathing suit that just smoothes everything out. I wasn’t sure if I needed the Spanx with the built-in bra or with hosiery so I didn’t buy it that day.
When I was finally ready to pick out the shapewear, I didn’t want to drive back to Nordstrom or all the way into town to Intimacy, but I knew I needed help figuring out how to make everything look right under my dress. So on my hair stylist’s recommendation I went to Necessities by Sherrie in Snellville for some help.
After a little analysis, Sherrie told me my current strapless bra fit but wasn’t pushing me up and that’s what the dress needed. She also told me the straps on the dress should be tightened to hold it up correctly.
She fit me in a pushup strapless bra and some high-waisted shapewear underwear that flattens your stomach and pulls in your waist (It was a different brand than Spanx.). I had clean lines in the dress and filled out the top. She also managed to fit me in a new everyday bra before the baby freaked out and climbed out of the stroller.
Finally, I was on to hair and make up. Stephanie the owner of Salon John Francis in Lawrenceville had diagnosed my hair problem the last time I was in. She told me a bunch of hair had fallen out after the baby was born, and it was growing in and sticking out. She had cut the back shorter to let the top catch up. So this visit she shaped me up and tinted my gray a lovely shade of brown with a touch of copper.
While getting my hair done, I told Stephanie I needed help picking new cosmetics. I was wearing my make up the same way I did in high school. Plus, I haven’t bought make up from any place other than a grocery store in probably six years. This might be OK when you’re young, but not when you’re starting to show some wrinkles.
Another hairdresser overheard me and advised me to go to Douglas cosmetics at The Avenue Webb Ginn in Snellville. Many of the women there are aestheticians and can help you figure out which brands and colors are best for you. I went out there and Betty got me set up with all the right make up. New face cream, eye cream, foundation that actually matches my skin tone, powder, concealer, blush and eye shadow.
I came home and told my girlfriend Margaret that I was ready for New York. Ever wise, Margaret explained that I didn’t do this all just for New York. The trip just gave me a deadline. I needed to do all this stuff to feel pulled together after having my last baby. I think she was right.
Epilogue: We had a fantastic trip last week. My parents were very generous to keep all three children. I felt great walking around the city and very elegant on my husband’s big night. Back at home, I’m excited about feeling a little more presentable every day, not just for special occasions.
You can reach Theresa at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Ideas are welcome!
Permalink | Comments (41) | Post your comment | Categories: General Frustrations of Motherhood
Comments
By lovin life
October 27, 2008 7:53 AM | Link to this
Theresa post pictures please! We want to see the big transformation! Also sounds like we visit a lot of the same places! I love sherrie! She is a great person, and really good at what she does!
By Sugar
October 27, 2008 8:03 AM | Link to this
Good Lord, you spent aLOT on getting ready to go.
Too much time, stress and money for a three day trip.
By patiently waiting
October 27, 2008 8:14 AM | Link to this
Theresa, I’m so proud of you! Not only have you went away with your girlfriend, you also were allowed an adults only vaca in New York with the husband! Now, since you are back in the swing of things, what’s next?
By the way, I don’t think you spent alot on getting ready. Special times and events cost a little more than everyday dressing does. If you hadn’t taken the time to look fabulous, I would have been concerned.
By Theresa
October 27, 2008 8:22 AM | Link to this
Hey Sugar — We also had this weekend my husband’s 20th high school reunion. So the same dress, make up, under garments all went to that event as well. So they did double duty in one week and also the dress is timeless enough that it can work for other events later.
By CP
October 27, 2008 8:24 AM | Link to this
Glad you had a good time. I can’t relate to it personally as there isn’t enough money for shopping, hair, makeup, or anything extra. Maybe someday.
By lisa
October 27, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this
Good for you!
It took me until my children were 5 & 6 before I got out of Momme mode.
I have not lost all the weight, but I look good working with my new shape.
Hair and makeup can do wonders for the psyche!
By motherjanegoose
October 27, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this
Good for you Theresa. When in Rome do as the Romans do…you cannot go to NYC in jeans and sweatpants.
I am just back from 2 meetings in North Dakota and had folks telling me how cute my clothes are. This is hilarious to me because I am NOT the fashion queen and my daughter continues to remind me of this.
I shop at Ross, Marshalls and TJ Maxx. I am way too thrifty to spend all that money but maybe I will treat myself before I turn 50.
My splurge is my mani/pedi….that is it.
The folks in North Dakota do NOT have the places to shop at that we do ( nor the restaurants)…just like those in NYC are more out the impress than those who live in metro Atlanta.
I am so happy to be home…it was snowing there yesterday and I was freezing.
Off to PUMPKIN TIME with the Kindergarteners
I too would love to see your pictures…glad you had fun!
By Amy
October 27, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this
Good for you! I can TOTALLY relate to your shapewear challenges. Don’t you just love Sherrie? She’s awesome! She introduced me to Slimpressions. I LOVE them! Shapers for arm flab. Brilliant!
By Jesse's Girl
October 27, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
Girl…..I bet I pay the bonuses of the Spanx employees. LOVE THEM!!! So glad you had a blast. Jesse’s 20 year is coming up too….believe me…Phipps is gonna get some money from me!
By jct
October 27, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this
Theresa, I am glad that you had a wonderful time in NYC. Putting yourself back together after allowing the jean/sweat pants look can be challenge.
My 20 year reunion is in three weeks. I am working on getting myself back on track. Started wearing makeup on last week everyday again. Not a lot but enough to give me little boost. Mineral powder foundation is my new friend. Easy to put on and it stays in place.
Backing to lurking. I am swamped under this week at work.
By Shopper
October 27, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this
I buy things I don’t need,
with money I don’t have,
to impress people I don’t know…….
By Jesse's Girl
October 27, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Oh shut up…
By FCM
October 27, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
Way to go Michael!
Theresa—I agree that everyone needs to get out of Mommy mode. After my divorce I sort of went to Martyr Mode…I thought spending anything on me (other than basics) was completely wrong.
Fortunately I have learned better. I know have Lisa Gibbon’s Sheer makeup sent to my house every 3 months (quality stuff and not an extra errand). I shop for some high end quality clothes that I can use for work, PTA, a date (if I ever get one), and so forth. I still have my jeans and sweatshirts, but they are just for home (except last night when I went to a Trunk or Treat as a tired Mom).
By Seriously?
October 27, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
The economy is tanking, we are losing our retirement accounts, the stock market is crashing, people are losing their jobs and homes right and left, and you go and spend hundreds to impress people you haven’t seen in 20 years, and probably won’t ever see again. You still have a high school mentality.
PATHETIC!!!!
By Jesse's Girl
October 27, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this
Ya know what you horrid little creature????? In the face of all the nastiness you just described…its even more important to do things that keep life exciting and interesting. Just because someone has the money…and by the way… the money she used was from an award that Michael won…doesn’t mean they don’t care about the issues at hand! I for one…refuse to live my life in a way that mirrors everyone else’s hardships. I do not live my life out of guilt and neither should anyone else. I do not have one ounce of guilt when I buy myself something nice. No one should. Everyone’s “nice” is relative anyway. If you…Serioulsy…wish to live your days guilt ridden over Joe The Plumber’s woes….have at it. But do not sit in judgement of someone who simply had a perfectly lovely weekend with her husband. You come off as nothing more than a jealous have-not.
By Theresa
October 27, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
Seriously — You didn’t real well. I spent hundreds to feel good and look presentable to the president and board of directors of my husband’s company. I also met most of the people he works with on a daily basis in the New York office. You need to be presentable for that. The high school reunion was my husband’s so I didnt know any of the people. That was just getting more bang for my buck. Also as stated in the column, my husband won a large cash prize wtih his award so the hundreds didn’t come out of regular money and were a small portion of the prize. Also the make up will last for probably six months and the undergarments a year if not longer and the clothes infinity. So definitely not for one night — the point was to feel more pulled together in general even at home -but you had to read the whole thing to get that point.
By Don't Let Yourself Go
October 27, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
Ok, maybe I’m being shallow by asking this, but why did you let yourself go in the first place? I am a mother of three boys, ages 3, 2 and 8 weeks and I look and feel fabulous while nursing, dropping one off at karate, and the other at soccer. Not to mention, I work a full time job. How about taking care of yourself as well, if not for your spouse how about for you???
By Theresa
October 27, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
I will try to post photos — My technical advisor has already gone to work so I’ll have to work on that tonight but I think I’ll need help from the ajc people too — let me work on it.
By Annoyed
October 27, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Theresa,
You do not owe an explanation to these crazies. You are comfortable with spending some cash to be dolled up for a special occasion. If they do not like it, so what? They’ll live! SMH
Good for you for ensuring that you looked great and for having a wonderful time.
By new mom
October 27, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
I think it’s great that Theresa took the opportunity to go to NY and get ‘prettied up’. There is nothing shallow about wanting to look nice, especially when meeting a spouse’s coworkers and bosses. Every spouse is a reflection of the other.
I have personally tried not to let myself fall into the ‘mommy-look’ this past year. I don’t think it’s shallow to want to look presentable whenever you go anywhere; in fact, I have challenged myself to have my hair fixed, makeup on, and no sweats whenever I go beyond our driveway. I don’t always look “fabulous”, but I try to look put together. I’m doing that for several reasons—1) I don’t want our daughter to grow up embarrassed of her slobby mommy, 2) I represent our family whenever I go anywhere, and 3) I believe that our outer appearance reflects how we feel about ourselves on the inside, and I want to be a positive force in our family and in our community.
I suppose there are those out there who think everyone should be in mourning that our economy is in the pooper, we should all wear black, never smile, etc. I refuse to do that—I believe that we need to be positive about our future and not wallow in today’s woes. Let’s learn from it and move on toward tommorow…and work hard to make tomorrow better than today.
By Wow - you sure went to a lot of trouble!
October 27, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Glad you think it was worth it!
By lovin life
October 27, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
Theresa Can’t wait to see the pics! Don’t let these people get you down! I am proud of you girl! You go! I have a little mad money and I think that you have inspired me! I even put in an extra 20 min on the old treadmill after reading you this morning. I got my hair colored 2 weeks ago. (mr. T. did not even say anything about the cost, that is how I know I really needed to get it done!!!) I am proud of you, and am sure that you looked great and felt great!
By Becky
October 27, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
Why is it that people always want to dis Theresa for what she does? If you don’t like reading what she has to say, go somewhere else..As others said, there is nothing wrong with what she did..As for her spending money (bonus money), as long as her kids aren’t doing without, get over it.. I would have done the same thing if it were my husband..
Theresa, glad that you had a great time..I’m sure that every penny was well spent..New York is a wonderful place..On a sisters only trip there about 4 years ago, most of the people that we met were much nicer than a lot of people that I know here (& some on this blog)..
By new mom
October 27, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
Amen Becky…
Lovin life—I’m the same way about getting my hair colored. I tried to save money when our baby was born by coloring it myself, what a nightmare. My gray just showed up even more, since my hair grows so fast. Now I splurge on highlights every few months, because my gray does’t show up nearly as much with them, and I can go longer without dealing with it!
BTW did you ever get your pedipeds? We finally did, but had trouble finding the solid colors we wanted in our size. Had to have NBP transfer the black pair, then ordered the brown pair online. Ended up being just as much, I always google for coupon codes for online shopping and found one for free shipping. :)
By Active Duty Mom
October 27, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this
Teresa:
Next time you’re in NYC and need to get it together for a night out, save up a little extra $$ and book a half-day appointment at Elizabeth Arden flagship salon on 5th Ave. The 1/2 day package covers facial or massage, manicure, pedicure, makeup application and shampoo/blowdry for $311 out the door with gratuity. I treated my sister-in-law for her birthday/Christmas and she LOVED it!
By Bankrupt
October 27, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this
$311? Good God.
Then you go home and take a shower the next day and wash all $311 off. Not to mention the time wasted sitting in that chair for 1/2 a day.
By Stacey
October 27, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this
Good for you Theresa! I don’t care if you got all dolled up to go weed the flower bed, if you can afford, do it! I’m not a girly, girl so the hair and makeup thing doesn’t appeal to me, but I would LOVE to be able to do the bra fitting and shopping spree for myself. I’m not able to even think about it now so until I can, I will live vicariously through you! :-)
By Jesse's Girl
October 27, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
Ladies…you do not have to go to Phipps or Nordstrom for a fitting. Victoria’s Secret does it too! They’ll do everything the higher end places do and its cheaper. Also…if you want to get really dolled up, just got o the mall and get a makeover at your fave counter! Its full-face and free if you buy just one peice they use on you! It can be the lip liner if you wish! There are less-pricier ways to treat ourselves!
By PHJ
October 27, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this
Theresa, you might point out to these “doom and gloom” people that you are helping the economy with your shopping. It doesn’t really make any difference where the money came from, it was yours.
By Kat
October 27, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this
new mom: Get over yourself. I want to be a positive force in our family and in our community. Are you practicing for your acceptance speech for Miss America?
By $$$keepstheeconomygoing
October 27, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
Even if it wasn’t bonus money, it was her family’s money and she can spend it how she d* well pleases. Money and people spending it is what keeps the economy going. Do you think people who have the money to spend should sit home and not spend their money because some other people are having financial trouble? If they did, even more people would be hurting financially because no money would be flowing through the economy.
By jct
October 27, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this
Wow, is it a full moon? Some people just need to back away from the keyboard. This subject is just not that. I am sure that we can all agree that sometimes you need to take care of yourself.
Off topic - Jeff has wound up the folks in the Get Schooled blog. Very entertaining read.
By new mom
October 27, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
No, Kat, it’s actually from my Mrs. America speech.
So sorry that my positive outlook offends you…I hope you have a GREAT day!! :)
By Sally
October 28, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
This is America, spend your cash on what ever you and your family want. I would do the same thing if we had a cash bonus!
By Katie
October 28, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
I go to Salon John Francis too!!
Glad you had a great trip.
By Sophy
October 28, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
Don’t Let Yourself Go: Sure, you can look fabulous with a 3, 2 & 8 week old while having a full time job….it’s called DAYCARE and gives you lots of time for exercise & shopping. Try doing that working full time at home with little or no help. You’re not shallow, just self righteous…
By Kat
October 28, 2008 7:48 PM | Link to this
new mom: It’s not a “positive” outlook - it’s your holier than thou attitude. And, my days are always great. Thanks!
By motherjanegoose
October 29, 2008 6:20 AM | Link to this
Kat….have you been reading long? I do not think NewMom tries to be holier than thou…what is that all about?
By Kat
October 29, 2008 7:28 AM | Link to this
MJG: If newmom were saving the whales or going green, then she might be a positive force in her community. It’s the wording of what she said - yeesh! Full of idiots. This is what she had said: 3) I believe that our outer appearance reflects how we feel about ourselves on the inside, and I want to be a positive force in our family and in our community.
By motherjanegoose
October 29, 2008 8:07 AM | Link to this
O.K….well when I am standing in front of 300 SLPs at at state convention, you can be sure I will try to look good. If I show up in sweats and a ponytail, they will not take me seriously.
Theresa ( while she probably spent more that I would have) was just trying to look appropriate for the group she was joining .
I think newmom has made some valid comments along the way and probably is a positive force in her family and community.
Just my opinion. I am not about flash on the outside but a professional image is important if you want folks to take your seriously.
By new mom
October 29, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
MJG—thanks for defending me! I was actually coming on here this morning to apologize for coming across ‘holier than thou’, that is certainly not how I intended.
As far as the “get over yourself” comment, that’s exactly what I try to do everyday. There are so many people who go through their lives completely centered on themselves, they barely notice that there are other people out there in the world. And that is the key to unhappiness—being centered around yourself. I see it everyday when I’m out with our daughter, people who are too ‘busy’ to even notice that there are other humans around them. I try to smile at everyone I see, but usually people are too busy on their cells to notice. As a society, we have forgotten what it means to be polite to others, friends and strangers, and that’s what I’m trying to fight. And teach our daughter to respect others, be kind, smile, and know that it’s NOT all about her.
Perhaps my comment that I want to be a positive force in the community wasn’t well worded, but I really do try to positively affect every encounter I have with real people. After waiting hours to vote yesterday, I smiled and spoke to every poll worker—you wouldn’t believe how shocked they were to have someone be nice. Isn’t that sad?
Will my smiles and kind words change their lives? Not hardly. But will it help EACH of us to have a human connection? I think so.
And I also think that portraying self-confidence in my appearance helps me to be able to connect with people, as MJG said, people take you more seriously when you don’t look like a slob. :)