MOMania

By Jesse's Girl

October 15, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

I am so lucky to have a flexible schedule….blessed actually. And when Mr Jesse is not traveling and home…we tag team it. Its never really been too much of an issue. There was one time when he had to go out of the country last minute and I had a trip I had to take as well. There were no sitters available for a 3 day tour of duty. So…the kids got plane tickets with Delta miles and came with me. I have a couple of friends who do not have an option when their kids get sick. So they stay with me if possible.

By Joyce

October 15, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

We are also very blessed in this issue. I’m usually the one to stay home, since many of my responsibilities at our business can be done from home via the computer’s remote access.

By RJ

October 15, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

It’s always been me. My husband leaves the house so early that when the kids wake up, I have to deal with it. Now that I’ve changed careers, I have a much more flexible schedule which allows me to take off as needed.

By Numbers Guy

October 15, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

While she wasn’t working outside the house, this choice was easy. Now that she is, it’s a tad more cloudy. From a job perspective, mine produces the most income, but hers offers no paid vacation/sick days. What’s always settled the matter for us, is that when he’s sick, he’s happy enough to see Dad, but he WANTS Mom. ‘Nuff said.

By new mom

October 15, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

I am the sick caregiver of our little one, but I stay at home with her, so that’s not even an issue. (I know, you’re thinking, why did she bother telling us that?) :)

However, when I worked in an office, before kids, I constantly saw my female co-workers miss work due to a sick child. I can’t think of one time I witnessed a male coworker miss work for their sick child though…but like numbers guy said, when kids are sick, they typically want their mommies. Just a fact….

By Stacey

October 15, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Nine time out of ten, I get the sick days. It is really hard for my husband to miss a full day without notice (impossible certain times of the month). If he gets sick at school and has to be picked up, my husband will usually go and get him then go back to work when I get home. Fortunately, it’s been a while since he has had to miss more than one day but if he does, my husband will usually take the second day.

We alternate taking off for school holidays. School was out yesterday and the day before and we each took one day. Fortunately, my job is very flexible with time off as long as you have the PTO available and give adequate notice (when possible). I like my job and the company I work for anyway but even if I didn’t, the flexibility is enough of a benefit to make think twice about leaving.

By I do everything

October 15, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

I stay home with sick kids. I do everything. Hubby is too tired from working all day to help out.

However, I have a full time job too and my work is exhausting. He thinks because he makes more money I should be the one to take care of the kids, but I still have to work a full time job out side the home. So, 8 hours outside the home, 16 inside. I shuttle them to all the activities, he’s too tired. He gets 8 hours work a day, 16 hours off when he gets home. He doesn’t lift a freaking finger.

I’m about ready to divorce his lazy butt. But I’d still be in the same position, I would just lose all his income, and who suffers? The kids.

By MomsRule

October 15, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

I am normally the sick child caregiver but hubby will step up if I have something going on at work that is “more important” than what he has going on that day.

New Mom, I had a male boss years ago that took sick time regulary to take his kid to the doc, dentist, stay home because kid was sick, etc.

I always found it strange as his wife was a SAHM. I guess he figured he’d earned it.

By Mo's Mom

October 15, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

I’m a single parent so there’s no one else to take care of my son if he ever gets sick.

Damn deadbeat dad…

By Jeff

October 15, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Well, T’s mom lives a mile away and will be our ‘daycare’ as long as she is around.

Of course, T is also a teacher in a school that is BARELY a quarter mile from our house.

That said, I work closest to the doctors we use.

So it will probably be: routine sickness: T’s mom/ MAYBE T. Emergency sickness: T’s mom/I meet them at the doc. Hospitalization: I live at the hospital as long as the kid does, going to work during the day and letting T’s mom handle routine stays while calling me with any emergency stuff. (I can literally get to the hospital about 3 min after getting in my car here.)

By I do everything, too

October 15, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Hey, I could have written “I do everything’s” comments - only I am the dad and I do everything, and I earn more money, too. My wife is too tired to do anything once she gets home from work,though she does cook - I do the dishes, all the laundry, play with the kids before bedtime, take them to most of their activitiew, and stay with them when they are sick (which, fortunately, is not that often). She is good with them re: homework, but would rather play with the dogs or walk the dogs. I get no nookie either, except when she is in the mood!

The poster is correct, however, if we divorce it is the kids who will suffer -

By My Two Cents

October 15, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

More than 25 years ago my now deceased husband stayed home with me to take care of our sick child. Our son was going to have to be hospitalized if his fever did not drop. My husband’s boss informed him when he returned to work that “it was the wife’s responsibility” to take care of a sick child. My husband quickly told him that his sick child would have his attention any day and that came before any job. Amazingly, that was the last complaint we heard from his boss!

By I do everything

October 15, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

Hey I do everything too Maybe we should get together and help each other out. I’ll take all the kids and chores three days, you get the other three days, and on sunday we can lay around and watch football!!!!

Maybe we can get our spouses together too. They can sit around a stare at each other, because they are too tired to do anything else.

By B

October 15, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

Interesting topic for me. My husband is on the road 90% of the time so it is almost always me who stays home. I have rarely had to do that since my kids are older and can stay by themselves since I am about 10 minutes away but last spring my 13 yo had a high fever and vomiting. No question….I stayed home but I am very lucky in having a type of job that I can be out of the office for a day with my laptop and still get work done. I still am required to take a sick day but that is OK with me; our sick leave is for whomever is sick in the family. When my husband has been between jobs or when he “wonders of wonders” is actually home, he stayed although nobody was happy. As others have said, when sick, kids want the mommy to be there.

By Sugar

October 15, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

My kids are old enough to stay home alone if they are sick.

But, if they are throwing up, I’ll stay home with them.

By Stacey

October 15, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

For those of you who leave your kids home alone when sick, at what age did you start doing that? The same question applies for school holidays. I ask because this is something my husband and I have pondered. Our son is only 7 so we know it’s much too soon now but we aren’t sure when. I know it depends on the kids (maturity, dependability, etc).

By lakerat

October 15, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

I’m too busy having sex with “I do everything“‘s husband.

He’s not tired because of his job….he’s tired because of me.

By My3Kids

October 15, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

I could have written I do everything’s post also.

When I was not working, of course it was me who stayed home. I am the one who makes the least in the house, however, I am the one with benefits. Luckily almost every boss I have ever had have always been great with me if needing to stay home because of the sick kids. My sitter will allow them to come to her house if the kids want to so I can work. I might as well be a single mom with the support I get at home and she knows that so she helps a lot with the girls.

Growing up, when my parents both worked…it was up to my sister and me for which parent stayed home. If it was something mild, I would pick my dad and if it was something really bad it was my mom. My sister always picked my mom. The only times we weren’t able to pick a parent was if my mom had started a new job and then it was our dad who stayed home. I was serverly sick when I was younger and my dad was their everyday until I was starting to feel better. But he had enough time in his job, he could have taken 2 years off of work, still have vacation and sick leave, and still have a job (with lots of work to catch up on) when he retired.

By uhh

October 15, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

Jeff - you need to put off having kids until you and T can raise them yourselves. Her mom has done her stint raising children and it’s not fair for you to breed and dump the child in grandma’s lap. I can’t stand couples that do that!!!

By Sugar

October 15, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Uhh Exactly why does that upset you that some stranger uses Grandma for babysitting. Maybe grandma WANTS her grandchildren.

When I was a single parent, my Mom jumped at the chance to keep my oldest anytime she could. She would actually go to the day care and get the kid to spend time with her.

Some grandparents want to be with their grandkids. Why does that bother you?

Are you a dumped on grandma?

By Kathy

October 15, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

I am in newmom’s boat…..I am home with Little E full time so I am here “in sickness and in health”. Once I go back to work, that will all change. My husband works for Gwinnett County Public Schools and I will return there to teach in 2010 when Little E starts Kindergarten so we will have the same sick leave benefits. My hubby will have more than me (obviously) so he will probably get to stay home with her when she is sick. His job is pretty flexible (he is not a teacher, he works out of the main office) so it will be easier for him to take off than it will be for me.

Jeff….you are so blessed to have future Grandma nearby. One of our grandmas works and the other lives in Athens, so we can’t rely on them for help. If she is happy to help let her! It is a huge blessing for children to spend time with their grandparents….sick or not.

BTW….I posted last week on the cold medicine topic that Little E is hardly ever sick. I should never have said that!!! We were at the doc this morning….ear AND sinus infection!!! Oh and now my husband is whining that he is sick…..time for Mommy to have that Momcation!

By gpkbsin

October 15, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

I’m very lucky in this matter. My husband and I both stay home to take care of our son when he is sick. One of us goes in the basement when we have to be on conference call.

I’m very lucky with my boss and colleagues. Nobody bothers me when i’m working from home because they know that my son is sick. My boss doesn’t have kids and he is still more considerate than my ex-boss who has kids.

Both of us are working when we are home so its a long day for us because we want to put in our obligatory 8 hrs in the 12-14 hr span :)

By That's OK Smart Ace, or is it LAME

October 15, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

I hear that when Lakerat is not with “I do everything”s husband she is with your wife!

By Jeff

October 15, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

uhh:

Actually, this is a case of “I’ll probably be having to bat her away with a stick on most occassions, so I may as well use it to my advantage when possible”

reason for this is simple: Our child will more than likely be the first grandchild on either side of the family, but my parents live in North GA and work. Her’s live a mile away from us in the Albany area and her mom DOESN’T work.

TRUST me, there are too many things I COMPLETELY disagree with this woman about when it comes to raising kids for me to even THINK about ‘dumping the child in the grandparents lap’. (She is like many of you and sees the world through extremely rose tinted PC glasses. I know all too well how dark this world can ACTUALLY be, and I am not ABOUT to let my child face it unprepared. For example: She BARELY believes in spanking, as ‘it teaches them to be violent’ - the same thing many of you were saying last week. I say it teaches them to obey orders and that violence is a legitimate tool to be used to achieve certain very specific goals. As I pointed out last week, her view will result in a kid that cannot defend himself. My view will result in a kid that will be able to handle ANYTHING life throws at him.)

By motherjanegoose

October 15, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

My kids are older but when they were small, I almost always was the stay at home mom, when the kids were sick.

If it was an extended period, he would take his turn. He made much more than me then and I understood that.

Now, my husband is home with our daughter probably 25 weekends per year when I travel for work. So many folks have told me…”how can you leave them home without you?” Hello, she is sixteen and very competent. she can cook, clean and do laundry plus stay on top of her Dad to do his share too! What is the difference of Dads who are out 3 - 4 days each week and my being gone say 75 days in an entire year? I never have understood.

My husband has been great with our kids but I do handle : cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry. He does the dishes, yardwork , chauffuer for them and the trash. Children should not be home under the age of 12 UNLESS there is a close neighbor whom they can call…if they are sick, they are scared and there is no sense in worrying them when they do not feel well. I have taken in neighbor’s kids, when I am home and let them lay on my couch and drink Gatorade, so their Mom could get her things done. My neighbors have done many things for me in return. I really appreciate all of the wonderful neighbors as my kids have not had grandparents who would take them in for a day much less a week. My Mom kept my son when he was 2 and she complained the entire time…she was 48…younger than me and we were moving from Texas to Atlanta. She said she was too old to watch her grandchildren so she never again kept mine or my sisters. They never knew their grandma. It was a shame.

By lakerat

October 15, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

I see the troll “lakerat” is at it again - sorry about that “I do everything”.

Regarding grandma taking care of the kids when sick, I tried that several times when my kids were little - only problem was the grandparents were too busy taking care of my sister’s kids (who, at the time, were 7 - 11 years older than ours), and we only lived about 4 miles away. Then, when the older grandkids had their own transportation as they grew older, the grandparents were too busy taking care of my other sister’s kids, who are the same age as mine!

And, now, grandma wonders why I do not call often and why my kids do not visit often!

By Sugar

October 15, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

I don’t know about everyone else on this blog, but I’m just about sick and tired of all these little catty remarks that keep popping up. I thought the AJC could do a better job screening these posts. Isn’t there anyone mediating this blog? Some of these comments should not even show up. I’m about sick of this crap.

By motherjanegoose

October 15, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

sugar…you are correct. These posts are ruining it for everyone. Someone posted as me a few weeks ago. I was thinking that your e-mail had to match your name but I guess not. Disgusting comments make this no fun at all.

By CP

October 15, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

I 2nd (or 3rd??) any motion to remove the troll posts. No one’s posted as me yet (probably will soon enough) but it’s asinine to wade through the idiocy posted too often.

Anyway, on topic… I stay at home always. SAHM, that’s me. One day I will get to go back to work. I was hoping to last year before I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, potential bosses don’t like to hear that you’re going to need maternity leave that quickly so I’ve been without a job for a while now.

Luckily, whenever I can go back in the workforce, we’ll be able to split the time. He’s been at his job for a long time now (more than a decade) & they’re very understanding about family emergencies like sick kids. I’m sure I’ll still take off more of the time though.

Actually I lost my last job because of this issue. I was a single mom at the time with (only) 3 children. The kids kept getting sick that year & although my family lived around me at the time, no one could help out with the kids. They had their own lives too.

I was working full time but I kept having to miss days because the kids were sick. It was pink eye, colds with fever, etc… then my youngest at the time was hospitalized for severe dehydration after a stomach flu. My mom did take some time off work to help me out with that incident. Then my same little girl broke her leg (courtesy of her older sister picking her up & then dropping her.) I had to have surgery that year too. With all the time I had to take off for doctor’s visits, it was too much. I didn’t get fired but I knew I had only one more day to lose before that would happen so I put my notice in. The first day after my notice was done, my youngest got pink eye again so I definitely would have been fired.

I’m so thankful I don’t have to be in that situation again, but I can definitely sympathize with single parents that go through it.

By Becky

October 15, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

uhh, what’s wrong with grandparents watching the kids? I’m 46 & as some on here know, my nephew has twins that are 6 & me & my husband have taken on the role of grandparents & we keep them every weekend & have since they were a month old..During the summer, we never plan a vacation without including them..Believe it or not, some grandparents enjoy being just that..Most people that I know that have grandchildren will tell the parents that they can’t always keep them & it’s no big deal..So, I’m not sure what makes you feel the way that you do, I just know that I hope you don’t treat your (if you have any) grandchildren like they are not wanted by you..

By I am a Troll Get Off My Bridge!!!!

October 15, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

You cannot kill us, we don’t die, we multiply…..Ha Ha.

You honestly think with todays market in the crapper that the AJC can afford to pay people to moderate this blog….you people really are stupid.

By Kathy

October 15, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

I am with Sugar and motherjanegoose!! Theresa, what can be done about the imposters? I am always so frustrated about the rude comments…..especially the ones by the lakerat imposter. I know he is not that rude and offensive.

By CP

October 15, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

Hey, I’ll be the moderator!

But seriously, is there no way to just keep the ones to don’t have anything to contribute off of here. I don’t care about someone posting that has a different (even obnoxious) viewpoint, but the ones who just spout off? It’s really annoying.

By I am a Troll Get Off My Bridge!!!!

October 15, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Oh boohoo the mean person is making fun of me….boohoo.

You whine like a mule.

Suck it up and grow some guts….please bunch of babies.

By Theresa

October 15, 2008 7:50 PM | Link to this

Hey guys — I hear you and I’ll check into the best way to handle the imposters.

By DB

October 16, 2008 7:16 AM | Link to this

Jeff, your MIL may be not to your taste — but always remember, she DID manage to raise your wife into a woman that you love. She must have done something right along the way.

By mike v

October 16, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

I do most everything, not all and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are also kind a caught on both sides of the spectrum; our kids are 30,14 & 11 (not a typo). Which one stays/stayed home? We juggled our schedules and came to an agreement. I hope to be a granparent soon to offer any help to my 30 year old.

By Night Worker

October 16, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

I work from midnight to 8:30 am. My wife is able to get the kids off to school in the morning, then I am soon home to be with them during the day when sick or needing a doctor visit. This schedule works best for us. She makes more money than I do but the kids always have a parent available for their needs.

By Angelica Watts

October 16, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

My husband and I both work but since he is a full-time teacher I am the one to pick-up our kids or take them to the doctor’s. He does not have sick/vacation leave on his job, yet, so any days miss is money docked from his pay. Basically, we try and work together and my husband will pick up our kids especially since he gets off at 2:30-3:00 every day. He is more flexible in the afternoon. It’s all a compromise and both have to be willing to sacrifice.

By Sally French (a Brit)

October 17, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Wow, how enlightening is this! It’s 22.05 (ie evening) in the UK but only early afternoon on yr site; and some VERY put-upon people have time to gripe online! I’m not casting the first stone, just noting the irony. (It’s often said over here that Americans don’t ‘do’ irony, but that can’t be right…?) I strayed onto this blog from my Troy Anthony Davis search. The world is a strange place, Little Britain no less so than Atlanta. Sorry, CP, if this wasn’t quite to the point.

I blame it on the Parents.

Please raise yr eyes from yr point-scoring and pray for Officer McPhail’s family, as well as for Troy Anthony Davis.

By Grandma's sick

December 18, 2008 5:40 PM | Link to this

I love watching my Grand Daughter. I have had her since she was 6 weeks old. I don’t mind taking her when she’s sick generally, but right now she has the stomach flu. Both ends and I think it’s too late for me, I feel crappy now.

I don’t want to be rude to my sweet first time momma, but at what point do I draw the line and say “Nope, she needs her Mom today and I need my health”. I feel like she should know better… maybe thats wrong but it seems rude to take a baby that sick to anyone knowing they are contagious. I’m not sure how to handle this one. Momey is tight for this young couple like everyone else, but I NEVER left my kids with anyone when they were sick like this and I was a single mom.

What to do?