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Thursday, September 11, 2008
Must you divorce if your husband strays?
Do you want to know if he cheats? Does the knowledge force you into getting a divorce to maintain your dignity? Are you better off not knowing or ‘ignoring’ it?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The classic movie “The Women,” from 1939, examines whether a woman should just “ignore” that her husband has cheated on her because if she acknowledges it then out of pride she MUST divorce him.
The movie has been remade (starring Meg Ryan and Annette Bening among many others) and opens this Friday in theaters. (I have no idea how the remake will be, but the original is fantastic and has an amazing cast. You can see the original on TCM at 8 p.m., Monday, Sept. 15.)
I was talking about the movie with my friend the other day and she said her mother always told her if he cheated just once to ignore it. Her mother said the woman has more to lose by divorcing the man than by living with one infidelity. The caveat to this rule is you must never let HIM know that is the rule. Of course if he habitually cheats, you must divorce him, said her mother.
The other tidbit my friend added was that according to one famous radio “doctor,” if he only cheats once the husband should NOT tell his wife because that just relieves his own guilt and puts his wife into this terrible predicament of having to decide what to do the with the new knowledge.
What do you think? Would you want to know if your husband cheated once? (Does it matter if it’s a showgirl in Vegas or someone you both know?) Would you definitely divorce if you knew? Does it put the wife in a weaker position if she doesn’t divorce? Would the husband be grateful or now just think he could fool around with no repercussions?
While working on this topic I ran across these links. I thought they were appropriately fun for today:
How to tell if your guy is cheating
8 Ways to Affair Proof Your Marriage
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