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DEL.ICIO.USDoes getting married help teen pregnancy?
Does making ‘an honest woman’ out of a pregnant teen help the situation? Is it best for everyone or no one?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Since Gov. Sarah Palin announced that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant and planning to marry the 18-year-old father, I have been thinking a lot about whether getting married helps or hurts teens in this situation. (Jamie Lynn Spears is another recent example. She was only 16. The wedding was on, but now it appears to be off.)
It does “make an honest woman” of the girl and makes the baby legally legitimate, but does it set them up to fail?
A recent story from the Chicago Tribune examined the issue of pregnant teens getting married.The story points out that the number of pregnant teens choosing to marry has dropped dramatically over the years. Here’s the link to the full story. Here are some stats from the story:
Bonnie Miller Rubin and John Keilman of the Chicago Tribune report:
“It wasn’t long ago, however, that shotgun marriages were considered the norm, a way for a boy to make an ‘honest woman’ out of a girl who got caught having premarital sex. In the first half of the 1960s, almost 70 percent of white pregnant teens ages 15-19 tied the knot — compared to 19 percent by the early 1990s.”
“For black teens, the rate fell from 36 percent to less than 7 percent, according to the Center for Law and Social Policy in Washington, D.C.”
“But a confluence of trends, including contraception and increased career opportunities, has turned forced matrimony into a relic of another era — and certainly not the route to domestic bliss.”
“The combination of unplanned pregnancy and youth raises the risk for divorce, said Stephanie Coontz, a historian at Evergreen State University.”
Divorce360, a web site devoted purely to divorce, examined in a recent entry whether Bristol Palin’s marriage can work. Here’s the link and here are some excerpts of what it reported:
” ‘First marriages by women under age 18 are the most likely group to divorce,’ said Brette Sember, a retired attorney, author of ‘The Divorce Organizer and Planner.’ ‘The divorce rates are quite high for this group. Recent studies have shown that the brains of teens and those in their early 20s are not fully mature, so to expect someone to make a lifelong commitment and be able to stick to it at this age is just not realistic.’ ”
“According to a 2001 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are more likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25. The study used statistics from 1995.”
So what do you think? Should teens who find themselves in a “family way” get married?
Are the mother and baby better off staying with her parents and getting their help with the baby? Are she and baby better off marrying and moving in with the baby’s father?
What have you experienced personally or seen through friends or daughters or sons?
Permalink | Comments (184) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Comments
By JATL
September 9, 2008 7:53 AM | Link to this
I think marriage just makes a big problem even bigger. This isn’t 1960. Young women today -even teen mothers -have more options than ever before for education, careers, etc. I guess a few last, but for the most part these marriages are just going to fall apart in a few months to a few years. If the two kids weren’t planning to get married before a baby arrived on the scene, then getting married just because a baby is coming is a recipe for disaster!
By momtoAlex&Max
September 9, 2008 8:08 AM | Link to this
LOL, Theresa, I am just loving the use of the old fashioned phrases: “make an honest woman out of her”..”find herself in a family way”..LOL, such a reminder that people wouldn’t eve say the word pregnant in “mixed company”.
I guess all I can say in such a situation is that marriage and kids are hard under the best of circumstances, and I can’t imagine such a thing succeeding when you pair up a couple of teenagers. Palin’s daughter aside (since we KNOW she’s gonna get lots of financial help), most teenagers have to get low paying jobs (little money = stress in the marriage), they will have little resources (more stress), they are not mature enough to handle marriage’s little struggles and need for compromise, and let’s face it: very, very few people marry their high school sweetheart. Yeah, I know that there are success stories out there, but they are not the norm.
IMHO, getting married at that age is a recipie for disaster.
By Renee
September 9, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this
When two teens marry after the girl gets pregnant, how does this “make an honest woman” of the girl? She got knocked up while single - it’s way to late to be an “honest woman.”
Marriage is hard enough. When two immoral teens (premarital sex without protection is not only immoral but incredibly stupid) marry - how are they supposed to be smart enough to figure out how to work through hard times? Marriage in this situation is doomed to fail.
By another viewpoint
September 9, 2008 8:21 AM | Link to this
What ever happened to relinguishing the baby for adoption to a married couple who wants a child, and has the maturity and financial wherewithall to provide a stable home?
By My3Kids
September 9, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this
When my sister became pregnant as a teen, she wanted to get married and so did the father. However, my parents and my sister didn’t know about the loop hole that used to exist about being able to get married while pregnant without parental permission. The 2 did eventually marry after my sister turned 18, 2 years later. My sister’s pregnancy was not an accident; it was on purpose to prevent my family from moving out of state. Don’t ask…16 years later I still don’t get it. LOL! They were married for over 12 years. I believe they were married 14 years.
Of course they had their ups and downs, however living under my parents’ roof for the first year and half prevented some of the money problems. My ex BIL made good money, even in high school, so my sister never had to work. She did occasionally to give her more to do.
The biggest problem marrying young is people grow up differently and many times they out grow each other.
Forcing people to marry because of a pregnancy is not the answer either. Forcing the couple apart doesn’t help either (I have seen that before). I think let the teens do what they want but at the same time if they want to get married because of the pregnancy , make them wait for a little while and let them know a pregnancy is not the end of things but you may have to rework your plans.
By Gina
September 9, 2008 8:32 AM | Link to this
In the case of Bristol Palin, it would be politically correct for her to marry (since abstinence only education was so successful). She is a “baby mama”…. Did Fox News put that in the captions? Their marriage and any other teen marriage is doomed! **And it’s very ghetto that Sarah’s baby and Bristol’s baby will be in the same age range. Trashy!
By My3Kids
September 9, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this
@another viewpoint:
This still happens. However, the parents have to agree to place the child up for adoption.
@Renee: Are they still considered immoral if the protection failed?
By Stan
September 9, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this
I think one thing that is not being conisdered, which makes this case a bit unique, is that these kids are from Alaska. Things are a little different there than in the lower 48. A lot of things are more old fashioned there. More often people that live in Alaska do what they have to do vs what they want to do. In a lot of ways I think things are simplier though of course much harder than here in Georgia.
My $.02 anyway.
By georgia peach
September 9, 2008 8:39 AM | Link to this
whatever happened to “birth controll” in this day and age “no one” should be having unprotected sex. Using protection not only protects against unwanted pregnancies, but it could also save lives against diseases like aid’s and other “std’s”. what is this about making the female an honest woman, what about the guy?
By 8==D
September 9, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this
Here’s the thing. They were supposedly already talking about getting married before they found out she was pregnant…..or so they say….so what if they have to tie the knot a little earlier than originally intendended……As for statistics that say teenage marriages are more likely to end in divorce who cares…..if they make a mistake…..it is their mistake to make…..we have no right to judge them for being in love.
And all you religious right idiots can go pound sand because your logic is flawed.
By Appalled
September 9, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this
I agree with JATL, MomTo.., & GA Peach. PLUS: I feel as soon as a teenage girl finds out she’s pregnant, she NEEDS to have an abortion. It’s only a fetus anyway & even if she gave it up for adoption, she’d miss all that school & there’s no guarantee it would get a good home anyway
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this
Absolutely not. To force a shotgun wedding in 2008 on a couple of teenagers, any underage teens, is to make a mockery of what should be a sacred institution.
SUnderage sex that leads to underage pregnancy and force fed into an shotgun wedding in this day and age leads to one thing: a bitter divorce before the baby can walk.
The purpose of marriage is to hold the family together. To marry when there is basis on which to support yourself, let alone a spouse and child: no education, no job, no $$$ is a formula for failure.
Besides what difference would it be to the baby if it’s parents never married or if they na=married and divorced as quickly as so many of these do these days?
By Jason
September 9, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this
A pregnant teen should only get married if her hypocrite mother is running for public office on a “Christian values” platform. I mean, otherwise, what’s the point? The girl’s already going to hell for having premarital sex, right?
By Sarah
September 9, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this
I find it …for lack or a better word, horrible politics that a seventeen year old girl that is not running for public office has been vetted more than the guy who is actually running for President, Obama. Her past has been made public fodder, that’s just not right. Gina, since you’re an obvious Obama fanatic, how many of his supporters are Baby Mama’s, as you so eloquently put it. At least she chose to keep the baby. Gina I serioulsy doubt she’ll expect a handout, foodstamps or welfare to help support her child. I can smell the fear in the Obama camp now, and yes…I thank Fox News for bringing the real Obama to the table and not some fluffed up junk like MSNBC News who had to demote their two anchors for prematurely ejaculating on themselves each time The Chosen One was on air. Gina, if you want to see trashy, go look int he mirror. I bet you’ll be looking dead in the eyes of 250+ pounds of trash in your own image.
By creative
September 9, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this
I know this was another era, but my mother & father were married at 17 and 20 years old, respectively. They endured rough and tough times, but they worked through things and raised 3 happy and successful children. They made mistakes and started off their marriage with challenges, but they made it their life’s work to make it all work. I am grateful for their loyalty and devotion, and they have now been married almost 50 years.
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this
If you don’t plan on spending the rest of your lives together it doesn’t make sense to marry.
Every have-to, shotgun underage pregnancy related marriage I’ve been privvy to in the last 20 years, and I do mean every single one of them, has ended in divorce.
By Mom to three
September 9, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this
Married with a baby during the teenage years is certainly a difficult thing. And no one is ever surprised when these teenage marriages fail. However, “the disaster” has already happened. Both teens have grown up far too fast and are bringing a new life into the world — married or not.
If the new parents agree to it, I don’t see the problem with marriage. It lets them at least try to make a go of being a family. True, they probably won’t celebrate their 50th anniversary. But they will have a chance to celebrate some of their baby’s milestones together. The father will be around to really bond with his child, and the mother won’t have to go through this alone. That has to be a silver lining for the baby and the young parents.
It’s the difference between having the father around as a visitor (or not at all) from the very beginning and at least giving him the chance to be a dad to his child. Even if they get divorced, the dad will have a foundation for a relationship with his child.
A teenage pregnancy means life is going to be more difficult, and I don’t think young parents should be “forced” to marry. But I don’t think marriage between teen parents is pointless either — even if they end up divorcing a few years later. I just don’t see how it hurts the baby to have both parents around for as long as possible.
Of course, teen parents (married or not) will still need help and support from their families — the more, the better.
But the CDC report says it’s not just teen marriages that are more likely to fail. The risk of divorcing within 10 years is high if you before the age of 25. Is it fair to say that two 24-year-old college (or grad school) graduates shouldn’t get married and have children because they have a higher risk of getting divorced within 10 years?
By Mystery Poster
September 9, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this
My parents married in the early 1960s because my mom was pregnant with me.
I got to endure the guilt of watching them be unhappy for 25 years.
Let’s think about the best interest of the child, not “saving face” for Palin.
By Conservative in DeKalb
September 9, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
Sarah at 8:58 said
“I find it …for lack or a better word, horrible politics that a seventeen year old girl that is not running for public office has been vetted more than the guy who is actually running for President, Obama”
Excuse me. But if that lady is going to run as an arch conservative who wants abstinence only education, and no contraceptives provided to teens, then this is very important.
And PLEASE remember, it was John McCain’s camp and Sarah Palin herself who knew this would come up and shine a spotlight on her kid at this fragile time. You think that is a good mother? Putting her career ahead of her children’s mental care? Sorry… but this Christian is not impressed with this woman. Sorry.
By B4Real
September 9, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this
At 17, I thought that I too was in love with my soul mate. About 3 years later I met my real soulmate and we’ve been together for 19 years. We didn’t marry until we were in our late 20’s because it just made sense. Why get married so young? And there is no making an honest woman out of this teenager. Nor does getting married make him an honest man. Personally, I feel that it’s the child that suffers. Why not give him/her up for adoption to a family with the financial means and maturity to raise this child. Teenage marriage is a disaster waiting to happen.
By Sarah
September 9, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this
Conservative in DeKalb, you claim to be a true conservative and you’ll vote Obama? Surely you can do better than that? And you were schooled where, Clayton County?
By HB
September 9, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this
I feel young teens should NOT marry and frankly it should be illegal under age 18, parental permission or not. They simply are not mature enough to make that decision and their parents should not make that lifetime commitment for them. If they need parental permission, then they are not old enough to marry. If they aren’t old enough to vote or join the military, they aren’t old enough to decide to marry. Period. A pregnant 17-year-old may contemplate marriage, but she should have to wait until age 18 to walk down the aisle.
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Choice ! If a teen wants to keep the baby without marrying the baby daddy, that’s ok as long as taxpayers don’t have to pay for the future support of the mother and baby
By gg
September 9, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this
Sarah, you are a racist fool. Everyone who disagrees with “shotgun” marriages are not in the “Obama camp”. Gina was simply stating that what is going on is hypocritical and things are different for folks with money and power. I certainly hope you are not my neighbor whose name is Sarah. Scarey.
By lovin life
September 9, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
YEAH Sarah I was up all night and can’t make my brain work right to make full thoughts, so for the rest of the day I just say Ditto Sarah!!!!
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
Choice! If she wants to keep the baby without marrying the baby daddy, it is OK as long as she is not raising the child at taxpayer expense
By Conservative in DeKalb
September 9, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
Wow. Sarah… did I even mention Obama? No. I just mentioned the obvious hypocrisy. Although you obviously have issues with an African American in power.
And being “conservative” does not always mean being an evangelical. In fact I was a McCain supporter until he picked this vapid lady to stand by his side… “Vapid.” Look it up in a dictionary. If you own one… I can’t keep up with what books you people are banning these days.
By Rusty
September 9, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
BREAKING NEWS!! AJC Atlanta..”Former Miss Alaska and Smyrna resident Marylin Blackburn supports Obama!” I can see the magazine covers now..’The women who beat Sarah Palin at something and why Barrack loves them.’
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
According to People Magazine (9/22 issue), Sarah and Todd Palin eloped on Aug 29, 1988. Track Palin was born in April, 1989. Could Bristol be following in her mother’s footsteps?
By Right on the Right
September 9, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
I’m with Sarah. Most of these comments have Liberal Agenda written all over them - it’s okay for us to US to do what we want, but if a Republican displays the same behavior it’s hypocritical. The agenda is to divide and conquer - not unite.
The Liberal Agenda is a about Change … to their way of thinking. The Democratic Party, the one that claims to be the most compassionate and understanding of average Americans, is often the most vile and hatred if you don’t agree with THEM.
Sarah Palin and her family is more REAL than your precious Hillary, and that’s what has you Liberals upset. Demoralizing a teenager is the Liberal way, especially when her mother is the next Vice President.
By LM
September 9, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Where to begin….
If two children make the choice to have sex, protected or unprotected, they then have the right to make the choice if they feel the need to marry. My opinion is of no consequences and I don’t feel I should stand in judgement. There but for the grace of God go I, ya know?
Teenagers by their very nature don’t always listen to what parents say and do. How many times have I led by example and then still had to ask my daughter to do things, ie.. wipe the counter, pick up your clothes, clean up after yourself. I have that dicussion daily, I have the sex talk not daily but still very regulary. I hope and pray she hears me, but don’t believe she will always listen. Judging Palin by what her daughter has done makes little sense to me. I think the kids should be left out of the politics, husbands and wives however are fair game as far as I am concerned. This is a person who shares the canidates views, goals and ambitions. I want to know what kind of person my canidate is out of the spotlight and in real life, the spouse can give a prety good idea who the canidate really is.
By Lori
September 9, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this
I am the eldest child of a hasty wedding. Yes, they married because of me. My parents were both barely twenty and still in school when their fooling around lead to pregnancy. They made it work and had a loving marriage for nearly thirty years until my father died. But I remember those first few years were pretty rocky. I think the best opinions would be theirs. They taught us: 1-Don’t fool around before marriage. 2-Use portection. 3-If you get pregnant, whether you choose to adopt, keep, or abort we’ll support you. 4- Don’t marry until you’re sure He’s right for you. Both my sister and I had year-long engagements because of this. And both of us have been married 10+ years now. No early babies either.
By Roger Predactor
September 9, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
I have two friend that got pregnant and married when they were 15 and 16. They are still happily married 15 years later.
By Sally
September 9, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this
No, no, no, no, and no. It will be hard enough to raise a child at 17/18. Focus on raising that baby, getting an education and growing up. YOu don’t need to add the stress of a marriage on top of all that you are faced with.
By beentheredonethat
September 9, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
I was an unwed pregnant teen (thankfully already out of high school). My mother encouraged me to marry my boyfriend, but we didn’t. I think it was the right choice. We are still together (married now for almost 8 years), but I don’t know if we would be if we had married when I became pregnant. It was VERY early in our relationship, and we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs since then. I always thought it was better to have him be a part of our childs life and if we ended up getting married, great, but if not, then our child wouldn’t have to live through a divorce.
By larry
September 9, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
@sarah “Gina, if you want to see trashy, go look int he mirror. I bet you’ll be looking dead in the eyes of 250+ pounds of trash in your own image.”
HA!
Good job at arguing the point and not making this personal. It is people like you who are ruining this country. Small minded and when losing, turn to personal attacks.
Congrats. You are about to get the country you deserve. The bad news is we are all going down with you.
By Stacey
September 9, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
While I think that (ideally) people should not have kids before marriage, I don’t believe that people (especially teens) should get married just because they are pregnant. IMO, people take both marriage and parenthood too lightly these days.
By Roy
September 9, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Sarah… Seriously get some help for your anger issues. No one should behave in polite society as you are behaving. It is unseemly and makes you look angry and foolish. Others may agree with your sentiment, but personal attacks make you look crazy and not smart.
By Diane
September 9, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
What a stupid question. As in most situations, it depends upon the people. As a rule, no, two mistakes don’t make things right. But sometimes it works. Bottom line is, this whole blog is so people can cast judgement about Palin’s daughter marrying the dad of her baby. Nunya business!
By JeremiahWright
September 9, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
Appalled,
I’m guessing you’re being sarcastic, or joking, or whatever about a girl NEEDING an abortion. If you’re not joking, then you’re a feel. No one needs an abortion. Thousands of couples in this country are desperate to adopt.
By JeremiahWright
September 9, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Appalled,
I’m guessing you’re being sarcastic, or joking, or whatever about a girl NEEDING an abortion. If you’re not joking, then you’re a fool. No one needs an abortion. Thousands of couples in this country are desperate to adopt.
By Best of Both Worlds
September 9, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this
I didn’t even DATE till I was in my 30’s, I was too into working on a career first. I’m glad I waited. I have a great husband & the career I’ve always wanted. When I was in high school, a lot of the other girls were quite shallow & had no interests or ambitions other than “getting a guy”.I’m actually thankful for these girls; they showed me how I would NOT want my life to end up
By Jesse's Girl
September 9, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this
As with abortion and adoption…..this too is a very personal choice. If 2 teens find themselves in this situation, then its up to them as to what road to take. Parents should guide and advice, but in the end…allow them to choose.I believe that forcing or even strongly suggesting that they marry is a recipe for certain doom. Having a baby at any age requires stability and a modecum of peace. I do not believe that marriage guarantees those things.
As I have said a number of times….teens will ultimately make up their own minds about having sex. IF a baby is the result of that choice…. it is our duty as parents to assist in the way THEY see fit. Forcing their already unsure hand produces nothing but more stress.
By Gina
September 9, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Slutty Sarah…. Me and my Obama supporting friends are black, educated professionals (not baby mama’s). The Obama camp & his supporters have nothing to fear. The Palins are glorified white trash and so are you! No, I am nowhere close to 250lbs. I am 115 lbs in my 30s (and that’s without dieting). When I look in the mirror I say “Wow, I look amazing.” Do you weigh 115, hell no… more like 200lbs. You’re probably a lifelong member of Jenny Craig. Now go back to your trailer park!
By Glen
September 9, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
Although they are very young, I believe Bristol and Levi will suceed as a couple. I wish them nothing but the best.
By Still Appalled
September 9, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
No, Jeremiah, I am not being sarcastic, nor am I a “feel”. (Ever notice that folks with backward ways of ‘thinking’? are illiterate as well??) The world is already cluttered up with too much unwanted trash & 17 is way too young to go through the whole parent thing. And not that many people are willing to adopt. Most want “their own”, which is purely ego & not because they truly want a child. Anyone who is so insistant on having “their own” just wants to show the world they can get a sex partner. Sad…
By OhTheDrama
September 9, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
Go “Conservative in Dekalb” and “gg”. “Sarah” was spewing the same closeminded bunk on the blog earlier this week about Sarah Palin. For some reason she feels she can’t support Sarah Palin without defending every aspect of her life. And likewise, if someone else has anything negative to say about a Republican candidate, then that person “must be” in the Obama camp.
What a fool!!!!
By Gina
September 9, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
Sarah…. Seek counseling in a hurry(inpatient mental health facility preferred), I think you need someone to talk to (and meds). I can tell you don’t have friends. Who could stand to be around you for 5 minutes?
By andthensome
September 9, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
You know this is the politically correct thing to do. And 30 years later, when she looks back on it, maybe she can avoid the questions about unfaithfulness that led to her divorce, like John McCain did in his CNN Revealed interview. He lied about being separated when he met his current wife, and he lied about filing applying for a marriage license, before his divorce was final. They had the paper right there. And his only response was, “That was 30 years ago, blah, blah, blah.” But the clincher was when Cindy looked the interviewer in the eye and said, “He wanted a good wife and mother …” implying that his first wife wasn’t one. That woman waited faithfully 5 1/2 years for him to be released from a POW camp, and he gets out and can’t keep it in his pants. That’s how he rewarded her? These people are cut from the same cloth. Even when the light show them to be imperfect, they will never own up to it!
By Jesse's Girl
September 9, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Wow…whats next children? Yo momma so fat she….? You’re both behaving like midddle school girls fighting in the bathroom.
By Happy in LaLa land
September 9, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this
Ohhh, like, I totally agree with Glen. I also believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny & that everyone is wonderful & we should all leave our doors unlocked all night because no one would ever dream of harming another human being. Love & peace, man
By Perfection
September 9, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Please Gina - no one is interested in your fanasty-land of personal statistics. Go ahead and dream a little - you’ll wake up when your babies start crying!
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this
WOW Sarah, is your last name Palin?
IMO, I too agree that no one should get married because of pregnancy. Marriage is hard enough without that kind of drama from day one. Having been married for 7+ years and with two children and having survived some serious marital issues without being pregnant, I just don’t think that this is the answer. I also agree that this is a political issue and had she not been chosen for the VP position, that girl would probably be a single mom. I also agree that this is an important issue because as I said last week when we discussed Palin and her motherhood, this situation speaks volumes about her ability to take care of home and country.
And BTW, yes she will be living off the taxpayers money in the VP House or at least that VP money that her parents will send each month to keep the two highschool dropouts a float.
That’s if we all fall for the okey doke.
So Sarah (Palin) Go Obiden ‘08
By Captain Midnight
September 9, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
Gina, you forgot to mention the mandatory “I drive a ,and I make $ a year. So typical.
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
Why are the conservative viewpoints caustic and resort to personal attacks??
How about staying on the ISSUE of this blog.
By pleeeze
September 9, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
Sarah & Gina: You both are too far out there. First off, each couple is different, the divorce rate is high regardless of age. It’s a personal decision on abortion, adoption and marriage. BTW my uncle is 6 months older than I and it was because my dad is the oldest of 13 children and we are far from trashy. I am an independent and there are good things/bad things on both sides of the ticket. I would like to know why it’s okay to go after Palin for what her 17 year old daughter did but not okay to bring up Obama’s father and his beliefs or the church he attended for 20 plus years. Hipocracy on both sides.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Speaking as someone who tried to have a baby for 8 years, I would personally strongly encourage adoption. We looked into it ourselves, and although it wasn’t the right solution for us, we have many friends who both adopted children and who were adopted children. Those we know, both adopting parents and adopted children are some of the most grateful and appreciative people we have ever met.
And speaking for someone who finally got pregnant, I can not imagine how any girl or woman could consider abortion—I knew that baby so well while she was growing in me, that when she was born, it was like meeting a long lost friend. However, in this country, women have CHOICE, whether I agree with it or not. That choice also includes raising the baby unmarried, marrying the father, or choosing adoption. Everyone has to find their own path and make the best decision for themselves and their families, and I try not to judge them.
And please—let’s stop with the name-calling and stick with the issue presented. Unfortunately, controversial topics tend to bring out the whackos (on both sides) and invade our mild-mannered little blog…
Have a great day, everyone! :)
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this
Conservative can’t talk about the issues, if you haven’t learned that look at Palins speeches. The same lines are repeated day after day after day after day……. They only know spewwing politics, “if I tear you down enough then I bring myself up and feel better about being uppity while everyone around me is suffering.”
By pleeeze
September 9, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
be careful K & K’s mom, uppity is a racial cutdown, or so they say.
By Zach's Mom
September 9, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
The origional question mentioned the girl living with her parents. What if the parents don’t want that. Why shouldn’t she go live with HIS parents? Their daughter made an adult decision and needs to live with in. People get married for a lot of different reasons. Having a baby is not “playing house” If you want to have it and keep it, grow up, get married, get a job, an apartment and make more responsible choices thank you made in the beginning.
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Pleeze…. what are you talking about? Eveyone has roasted Obama for months about the pastor he sat under and what about his father? He’s dead, let the man rest in peace. You people only want to read one side of the story that you like… But now Palin’s pastor in play and NO ONE wants to touch it. So yes her politics and her kind of of governing have A LOT to do with who we are supposed to vote for.
I am an independent but I can see both sides clearly, and I have begun to support OBiden because the Republicans can’t dish what they put out, and I’m tired of that kind os politics, so it is time for * REAL CHANGE*.
By Katie
September 9, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Teens having sex is normal. What’s abnormal is the way Americans look at it. Look in history, it is very common for young women (13, 14, 15) to be married and have children. Look at other cultures—India, Mexico, Middle East, women in those places often marry very young. Americans have warped minds about sex. It’s as natural as breathing—get over it.
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
I agree that people hsouldn’t have children before they are married.
However, it’s an even bigger mistake to marry only because an underage girl gets pregnant because a marriage that is doomed to fail is early is no real marriage at all.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
K&K’s Mom, you had better be careful using that “U-word”…I’m sure you don’t want to appear insensitive, right?
By pleeeze
September 9, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
K & K’s mom: I must have missed the roasting you claim Obama got for the pastor…a couple of days or weeks and it was swept under the rug. I’ll say it again…..pleeze
By Dan
September 9, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
K&K are you seriously trying to equate Obama himself choosing that crackpot as a mentor which clearly shows at the very least poor judgement and Palins daughter getting pregnant, which shows poor judgement by a family member. Take a break from drinking the cool-aid and look at some issues
By Perfection
September 9, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
K&K’s Mom is more than likely aka Gina - guess the babies woke up!
By Denise
September 9, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this
Some folks are blaming the spotlight on Bristol Palin on “liberals” (as if that’s a dirty word or an invalid stance) when in fact her mother is discussing this openly and as she sees fit. I don’t give a flip about Bristol’s being pregnant; I do find that her mother’s “abstinence only” teaching has failed in her own household and, if anything, Sarah Palin needs to see the errors of her thinking on this matter. Had she been more open to other sex education, MAYBE her daughter would not be pregnant. Ultimately the choice was Bristol’s.
As far as the “baby mama” comments, if you recall, Michelle Obama was called “Obama’s baby mama”. If calling Bristol - an unwed pregnant teen - a “baby mama” is offensive, why wasn’t it so when folks were calling a MARRIED, GROWN WOMAN a “baby mama”? It’s shenanigans and just feeds into the “us” vs. “them” mentality we have in our country and it’s disgusting.
As for pregnant teens getting married because of the pregnancy, I do not think it is a wise decision for MOST. Yes, some have successful relationships; my grandparents got pregnant and married but were married almost 62 years before Granny died. However, some don’t and I think it’s unfair to force children to marry for appearance sake. Children are not mature enough to take care of themselves, much less a baby, and will need a lot of parental assistance and guidance. People should get married when they are ready to assume all the responsibilities of marriage and I don’t think teenagers are in a position to do so.
By Modern Mom
September 9, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this
IMO - it depends on the teens’ viewS of marriage and (ESPECIALLY!) whether or not they have had good role models from their own parents.
I can only say this because my mom was pregnant when she married my father. BUT they made their marriage work - mainly because they went into marriage knowing it was going to be hard and they were going to have to struggle to make it work.
52 years later and they are still going strong, more in love now than ever!
I sound old saying this, but “youngsters” these days have no appreciation for the work that goes into anything - life, work, marriage, careers… Such an “instant gratification” generation!!!
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
I am one of “those people” and I am not sensitive about it. I don’t care if you call me uppity. Damn right I am uppity, I am a college educated with a graduate degree women,who has a beautiful home with a two car garage, a white picket fence and 2.5 children. My mother and father, although divorced, worked hard to give me the best that they could by sending me to good schools, they grew me up in the church and the suburbs of Atlanta and not the run down innercity of Chicago so that I could one day be called uppity.
So please STOP putting us all in the same box. I think that is what Gina @10:19 AM was trying to say. Everyone wants to put all black people in the same box like we think the same and do the same things and act the same. The point Gina was trying to make is that we are all different just like white people are all different. Just because the Palin family is trashy and glad to be “f**n rednecks” doesn’t mean that all white people are trashy and rednecks.
For those of us that want REAL CHANGE we need to start with our way of thinking about those that are not like us.
By The South is a Cesspool
September 9, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this
This is a very complicated issue. On the one hand, I do believe that Palin’s daughter’s pregnancy is a private matter to the extent that she isn’t a Hollywood celebrity nor is she running for public office. She didn’t seek the spotlight — her mother did. That said, Conservative in DeKalb@9:09 AM had it right. If you’re running on an ultra conservative platform where you believe abstinence is the only thing that ought to be taught, you oppose abortion, even cases of rape and incest, I don’t think it’s out of line to question that line of thinking. While I think SOME in the media take pleasure at Bristol’s expense, Gov. Palin did parade her and the teen father during the convention making her daughter’s plight in context to her arch-conservative views more of an issue.
(and let’s not kid ourselves, FOX News Channel would have done the same thing conservatives claim the left media has done to Palin if the shoe were on the other foot. If Obama had a teen-age daughter who was pregnant, do you folks honestly think we wouldn’t be hearing chatter about the destruction of the black family, low morals, bad character and questions about how can you expect to be the representative family of America when you have amoral children.)
As for the teen marriages, some of the earlier postings said don’t compound one mistake with another. There are several options/alternatives including adoption.
By Steve
September 9, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
Has anyone else seen Father of the Bride 2 and find it funny that Palin’s child and grandchild will be about the same age?
It’s not trashy, it’s just funny.
Steve Martin did it, Palin can too! hahahaha
By Yolanda
September 9, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
I did not read anything about “responsibility” or “consequences for actions” — if they don’t marry, and the baby is not given up for adoption, who ends up with the care and well being of the baby? As I see it, it will be the ‘mother’ and the ‘father’ may or may not be at all involved. Both of them should know, and be made an example to other teens, that there is always a consequence to any action - good or bad.
By Black Girl
September 9, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this
It should come as no surprise that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican. In that era, almost all black Americans were Republicans. Why? From its founding in 1854 as the anti-slavery party until today, the Republican Party has championed freedom and civil rights for blacks. And as one pundit so succinctly stated, the Democrat Party is as it always has been, the party of the four S’s: Slavery, Secession, Segregation and now Socialism.
It was the Democrats who fought to keep blacks in slavery and passed the discriminatory Black Codes and Jim Crow laws. The Democrats started the Ku Klux Klan to lynch and terrorize blacks. The Democrats fought to prevent the passage of every civil rights law beginning with the civil rights laws of the 1860’s, and continuing with the civil rights laws of the 1950’s and 1960’s.
During the civil rights era of the 1960’s, Dr. King was fighting the Democrats who stood in the school house doors, turned skin-burning fire hoses on blacks and let loose vicious dogs. It was Republican President Dwight Eisenhower who pushed to pass the Civil Rights Act of 1957 and sent troops to Arkansas to desegregate schools. President Eisenhower also appointed Chief Justice Earl Warren to the U.S. Supreme Court which resulted in the 1954 Brown vs. Board of Education decision ending school segregation. Much is made of Democrat President Harry Truman’s issuing an Executive Order in 1948 to desegregate the military. Not mentioned is the fact that it was President Eisenhower who actually took action to effectively end segregation in the military.
Democrat President John F. Kennedy is lauded as a proponent of civil rights. However, Kennedy voted against the 1957 Civil rights Act while he was a senator, as did Democrat Senator Al Gore, Sr. And after he became president, John F. Kennedy was opposed to the 1963 March on Washington by Dr. King that was organized by A. Phillip Randolph who was a black Republican. President Kennedy, through his brother Attorney General Robert Kennedy, had Dr. King wiretapped and investigated by the FBI on suspicion of being a Communist in order to undermine Dr. King.
In March of 1968, while referring to Dr. King’s leaving Memphis, Tennessee after riots broke out where a teenager was killed, Democrat Senator Robert Byrd, a former member of the Ku Klux Klan, called Dr. King a “trouble-maker” who starts trouble, but runs like a coward after trouble is ignited. A few weeks later, Dr. King returned to Memphis and was assassinated on April 4, 1968.
Given the circumstances of that era, it is understandable why Dr. King was a Republican. It was the Republicans who fought to free blacks from slavery and amended the Constitution to grant blacks freedom (13th Amendment), citizenship (14th Amendment) and the right to vote (15th Amendment). Republicans passed the civil rights laws of the 1860’s, including the Civil Rights Act of 1866 and the Reconstruction Act of 1867 that was designed to establish a new government system in the Democrat-controlled South, one that was fair to blacks. Republicans also started the NAACP and affirmative action with Republican President Richard Nixon‘s 1969 Philadelphia Plan (crafted by black Republican Art Fletcher) that set the nation‘s first goals and timetables. Although affirmative action now has been turned by the Democrats into an unfair quota system, affirmative action was begun by Nixon to counter the harm caused to blacks when Democrat President Woodrow Wilson in 1912 kicked all of the blacks out of federal government jobs.
Few black Americans know that it was Republicans who founded the Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Unknown also is the fact that Republican Senator Everett Dirksen from Illinois was key to the passage of civil rights legislation in 1957, 1960, 1964 and 1965. Not mentioned in recent media stories about extension of the 1965 Voting Rights Act is the fact that Dirksen wrote the language for the bill. Dirksen also crafted the language for the Civil Rights Act of 1968 which prohibited discrimination in housing. President Lyndon Johnson could not have achieved passage of civil rights legislation without the support of Republicans.
Critics of Republican Senator Barry Goldwater who ran for president against Democrat President Lyndon Johnson in 1964, ignore the fact that Goldwater wanted to force the Democrats in the South to stop passing discriminatory laws and thus end the need to continuously enact federal civil rights legislation.
Those who wrongly criticize Goldwater, also ignore the fact that President Johnson, in his 4,500 State of the Union Address delivered on January 4, 1965, mentioned scores of topics for federal action, but only thirty five words were devoted to civil rights. He did not mention one word about voting rights. Then in 1967, showing his anger with Dr. King’s protest against the Viet Nam War, President Johnson referred to Dr. King as “that N**** preacher.”
Contrary to the false assertions by Democrats, the racist “Dixiecrats” did not all migrate to the Republican Party. “Dixiecrats” declared that they would rather vote for a “yellow dog” than vote for a Republican because the Republican Party was known as the party for blacks. Today, some of those “Dixiecrats” continue their political careers as Democrats, including Democrat Senator Robert Byrd who is well known for having been a “Keagle” in the Ku Klux Klan.
Another former “Dixiecrat” is Democrat Senator Ernest Hollings who put up the Confederate flag over the state capitol when he was the governor of South Carolina. There was no public outcry when Democrat Senator Christopher Dodd praised Senator Byrd as someone who would have been “a great senator for any moment,” including the Civil War. Democrats denounced Senator Trent Lott for his remarks about Senator Strom Thurmond. Senator Thurmond was never in the Ku Klux Klan and defended blacks against lynching and the discriminatory poll taxes imposed on blacks by Democrats. If Senator Byrd and Senator Thurmond were alive during the Civil War, and Byrd had his way, Thurmond would have been lynched.
The thirty-year odyssey of the South switching to the Republican Party began in the 1970’s with President Richard Nixon’s “Southern Strategy” which was an effort on the Part of Nixon to get Christians in the South to stop voting for Democrats who did not share their values and were still discriminating against their fellow Christians who happened to be black. Georgia did not switch until 2002, and some Southern states, including Louisiana, are still controlled by Democrats.
Today, Democrats, in pursuit of their socialist agenda, are fighting to keep blacks poor, angry and voting for Democrats. Examples of how egregiously Democrats act to keep blacks in poverty are numerous.
After wrongly convincing black Americans that a minimum wage increase was a good thing, the Democrats on August 3rd kept their promise and killed the minimum wage bill passed by House Republicans on July 29th. The blockage of the minimum wage bill was the second time in as many years that Democrats stuck a legislative finger in the eye of black Americans. Senate Democrats on April 1, 2004 blocked passage of a bill to renew the 1996 welfare reform law that was pushed by Republicans and vetoed twice by President Bill Clinton before he finally signed it. Since the welfare reform law expired in September 2002, Congress had passed six extensions, and the latest expired on June 30, 2004. Opposed by the Democrats are school choice opportunity scholarships that would help black children get out of failing schools and Social Security reform, even though blacks on average lose $10,000 in the current system because of a shorter life expectancy than whites (72.2 years for blacks vs. 77.5 years for whites).
Democrats have been running our inner-cities for the past 30-40 years, and blacks are still complaining about the same problems. Over $7 trillion dollars have been spent on poverty programs since President Lyndon Johnson’s War on Poverty with little, if any, impact on poverty. Diabolically, every election cycle, Democrats blame Republicans for the deplorable conditions in the inner-cities, then incite blacks to cast a protest vote against Republicans.
In order to break the Democrats’ stranglehold on the black vote and free black Americans from the Democrat Party’s economic plantation, we must shed the light of truth on the Democrats. We must demonstrate that the Democrat Party policies of socialism and dependency on government handouts offer the pathway to poverty, while Republican Party principles of hard work, personal responsibility, getting a good education and ownership of homes and small businesses offer the pathway to prosperity.
By Jesse's Girl
September 9, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this
First you write…
“Just because the Palin family is trashy and glad to be f-ing rednecks, doesn’t mean all white people are trashy and rednecks”
Then you write…
“For those of us that want rreal change we need to start with our way of thinking about those that are not like us”
Um….I’m just gonna leave it at that.
By JJ
September 9, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
newmom Very well said, your 10:58 post. (We may have to bump you up to priority status for the cruise).
And Glen your 10:22 post sums it all up for me. I agree 100% with your statment. It was very nice to see such a nice comment, amoung all this nastiness here today.
Can we please take the politics out of our Mom blog and answer the question posed? Ya’ll go fight politics over at Jim Wooten’s blog.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
K&K’s Mom, I appreciate what you said, and I agree that many paint other racial groups with the same brush.
In defense of us old boring white folks, I say truthfully that I would bet most of us are scared of saying the wrong word, phrase, etc. not ever really knowing what will be considered insensitive, or will label us as racist. Especially when you’re not one—you dread getting that accusation. And that happens more often then you may realize.
I would like to pose a question, not to start a racial or sexist fight, but hopefully to get some truthful answers. On the night of Obama’s speech when it was obvious he was the nominee, the local news interviewed large groups of black folks (african-americans if you prefer) and the prevailing theme was ‘we will vote for him because he’s black’. Now I know there are lots of highly intelligent black folks out there like yourself—surely someone’s race is not the deciding factor in your vote. There are so many issues that are more important, imho. On that same note, I did not support Hillary because she didn’t share the same views I do, even though she’s a woman. And had McCain chosen a man, I would have still supported them.
I guess my overriding question is: Why should race or gender be a deciding factor in an election? Aren’t we more than the color of our skin or our sex?
By Lex Luthor
September 9, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this
You should never get married over a unexpected child unless the plans were already in the works. A single parent home is always better than a home with parents who hate each other.
By Jesse's Girl
September 9, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this
Dang Black Girl…..I hope you are a speech writer! Nicely done.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this
Thanks JJ! I will be looking for the cruise ticket in the mail…
Although I did just open a can of political worms at 12:16. Maybe I don’t get to go after all. :(
By anne
September 9, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this
“Black Girl” (aka Rush Limbaugh)
Nice try at rewriting history. Hopefully there are enough educated folks out there to know just how outrageously you’ve twisted the past to meet your own political agenda.
Sad. Very sad.
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
New Mom I agree that’s exactly what I mean when I say that we need to start change by looking at people for who they are and what they stand for.Regardless of if they are male or female, black, white, rich, poor, middle class or upper class, uppity or elitest. Find out what the stand for and if your beliefs honestly match up with them then let that be your basis for support.
At somepoint we have to realize that we are being hoodwinked and bamboozled by the media. They only show us what they want us to see and we have to take the time out of our busy lives to make the correct decision for our country as a whole and not just ourselves.I make my voting decision on who will leave this country in a better place for all children not just my children. Because my grandchildren may not be the president in 2040 but your children might, so I want to make sure I have done my part to leave this country in a better palce than I found it.
And Jesse’s girl, I didn’t say that they were “f*n rednecks”, the future son-in-law did and as far as being trashy I took what other people have said about them as an example. Maybe I should have said it this way “if some people think that the Palin family are trash and proud to be “f*n rednecks” doesn’t mean we think that all white people are that way. (is that better :))
By Lee
September 9, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this
Any life guard will tell you that a drowning person will often cling to any rescuer, and drag him with them to their mutual death.
So it is with teen marriage. The girl’s life is ruined, so she clings to the guy who made her pregnant in order to make his life miserable, too.
Society wins since it takes the boy seducer off the street, and other girls then can remain chaste.
Sometimes, before abortion was made legal, teen boys would kill themselves because of the dishonor to their family and the ruining of their dreams.
At least, that’s the conservative’s way. Death before dishonor.
By JJ
September 9, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this
K&KsMom Thank you!!! Someone else besides me believes the media controls us. They report WHAT they want us to know. That is EXACTLY why I don’t watch news programs.
It is up to US to do the research. And there are plenty of tools out there to help us make an informed decision, NOT the media!!!!
By new mom
September 9, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this
K&K’s Mom, thanks for your response. I don’t think that everyone gives as much thought to the issues, unfortunately, and would prefer to vote for the person who looks the most like them.
And I agree about wanting to leave our country in a better place than I found it. We have vastly different perspectives on how that’s accomplished, but like JJ said, that’s another subject for another blog. :)
By Jake
September 9, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this
Abortion and adoption are probably the best options, but just because more of these marriages end in divorce than overall marriages is no reason not to get married. This still provides the baby with two natural parents even if one of them winds up being non-custodial. If there is little or no stigma in becoming pregnant before marriage why should there be stigma associated with divorce?
By tuck
September 9, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this
I was raised and taught to marry because you are pregnant, that is known as a SHOT GUN WEDDING. I didn’t know they do this any more……
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this
Black Girl
Thirty-six of the 2,380 Republican delegates are black, according to the nonpartisan Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies.
That number marks a 78 percent decline from 2004, the lowest representation in 40 years and a huge deficit when compared to the 1,079 delegates at last week’s Democratic National Convention, according to the think tank report.
By JJ
September 9, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this
To all the regulars on this blog, let me ask this question……
What would YOU do if your teenage daughter became pregnant?
What would YOU do if your teenaged boy got a teenaged girl pregnant?
Until we have walked in their shoes, we really cannot judge the Palins…….
By Ms. Jackson
September 9, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
Palin is white trash!!!! Her daughter is white trash!!!! The soon to be son-in-law is a high school drop out!!!!Check it out Republicans——it is a true fact. You would never have seen Chelsea or Caroline pregnant at age 17. It is time to get the good olde white racist boys out of office!!!! Go Obama!!!!
By AmazonRed
September 9, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this
Getting married because you are “with child” is not a wise idea no matter what age. But hopefully, once you reach your 20s/30s you are chosing mates you are compatable with anyway.
Does getting married help teen pregnancy. No. Parenting is hard enough without being a newlywed.
Getting married simply helps “statistics.” You feel better having a child born “in wedlock,” especially if you are Christian.
By Ick
September 9, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
No, there shouldn’t be marriage. They should live together as if they are married, if they want, but that’s it.
They should only marry without the pressure of an upcoming birth. If they still want to marry after the baby’s born, then great. Start the process.
By So-So Concerned
September 9, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
SARAH! Shame on you. The subject is “does getting married help teen pregnancy”? It has nothing to do with voting, your race, where you reside or where you were educated. Learn how to stay with the subject or just shut-up.
By K&K's Mom
September 9, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this
Okay what is taking everyone so long to ROAST Ms. Jackson?
I’m just going to have to say it Ms. Jackson, please stop the drama… Obama would not be pleased with this kind of supporter. I mean really :{
By JJ
September 9, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
K&KsMom, we have learned NOT to feed the trolls…..
Just ignore them, and they will go away……..
By 8==D
September 9, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this
You know if more teenage girls would just give BJ’s we wouldn’t have a pregnancy problem.
By Becky
September 9, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this
JJ, I would still love them & support them..Part of the problem with kids having unprotected sex, is that we as a society are afraid to talk to our children about sex..We would rather think that our teenagers wouldn’t have sex, than to have other people know that they are taking birth control pills..In answer to the topic today, NO they shouldn’t get married juat because she is pregnant..If she has the love & support of her parents, her & the baby will do fine..As someone else said, in a couple of years, if they still want to get married, go for it..
By I'm a Troll get off my Bridge!!!!
September 9, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this
Some trolls actually live here and enjoy sticking it to the goody-two-shoes stay at home moms and single whiny moms that frequent this retarded blog.
By cara
September 9, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
They’ve already made one mistake in getting pregnant. There is no sense in compunding the situation by getting married. As a parent, I wouldn’t push it just because of the pregnancy.
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
Just imagine the outcry if Obama’s daughter were pregnant and they displayed the baby daddy proudly at the Democratic convention.
By Slotl
September 9, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this
Just imagine the outcry if Obama’s daughter were pregnant and they displayed the baby daddy proudly at the Democratic convention.
By John
September 9, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this
Teens that are in love shouldn’t be get married, much less because of pregnacy.
By My3Kids
September 9, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this
JJ, I would still love them and supportive them the best I can. I’m not saying I would support them with money and taking care of the child. However, I would make sure they are safe, happy, and have a roof over their head and let them know I love them.
By Becky
September 9, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this
Didn’t any one of you as a teenager do something that you knew your parent’s had told you not to do?
By SAG
September 9, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
Unless you’re personally asked to help take care of a child born to someone else, it’s none of your business if they marry or not. I seriously doubt that anyone on thsi blog has their own house in such perfect order you’re entitled to sit in judgement of anyone. I am sure your spouses would say you have better things to do like clean the house, excercise (lose weight) and take care of your family and not worrying about a girl who will never ask any of you for a thin dime or a moment of your time to parent her child. You all are acting like a Dr. Phil with hair and a vagina. And we all know what a bag of hotair that joke of a man is.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this
JJ, I’ll try to answer your questions, even as unfathomable as they seem right now with our baby girl…
I think the first thing I would do would be to assure her that we love her unconditionally, and so does God. In order for her to survive her immediate future, she’ll need that reassurance.
I would then discuss her options, and try to get a feel for what she wants to do. (I would also make it clear that I would not pay for an abortion…I can’t imagining her killing her baby) I think I would also want to have a talk with the baby’s father and h is parents, because she didn’t get pregnant by herself.
I would also take her to visit a pregnancy center that promotes adooption, and let her talk to families who have adopted. If I could steer her toward the adoption route, I would. I think if she realized that she could be allowing her problem to become a blessing in another family’s life, she might find comfort in that.
If I were the boy’s mother…well I would feel the same way regarding adoption. Whether my child is the boy or girl, my beliefs don’t change. I would like to be involved, by talking to the girl’s parents and offering support where I could.
Most of all, I hope that I would remind myself that although they made some very grown-up choices, they are still kids who are developing and need the unconditional love of their parents…even though they are teenagers.
Oh, forgot to mention—I wouldn’t encourage the idea of marriage, unless they are 18 and have finished high school. Even then, it would be so hard on them to start off without any higher education and a baby to raise…If it’s meant to be, they can marry after college ;) And med school…
By Kathy
September 9, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this
Please….if you are not a regular and don’t have anything nice to say, don’t comment! I get so frustrated with the people who come on to this blog and make comments like the ones made by 8==D, Gina, Sarah and Larry. Go be rude someplace else.
JJ…..when is the vacation? I think ALL the regulars may be joining you! LOL
motherjanegoose….where are you today?
By Concerned & Undecided
September 9, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this
To All, especially Pleeze 10:57, Gina, and Sarah (Palin?):
Ok, first off I am Undecided, though I will admit to leaning towards the Democratic or Independant Party at this point. Why do these blogs always bring out the worst in people? It seems noone can express their opinion withput being put down by someone else. Wasn’t our country built on the blood of those who felt we should have free speech?
Having said this, Sarah, Please calm down. Gina is entitled to her opinion, just as you are to yours. Intimating that she is “uneducated” because of a possibe link to Clayton County schools is over the top. What have the students of Clayton County done to you to deserve your censure? Shouldn’t you direct such negative comments to the BOE of CCPS, not the poor students who attend school in the system? That is very uncouth of you.
Gina, obviously Sarah (Palin?) here is deliberately misunderstanding what your point is. I don’t believe that you were trying to say that the situation of VP hopeful Palin’s family was a stab at the Republican Party. I understood it to be a point that Palin is showing a bit of hypocrisy in the way she raises her own family vs the way she wants to dictate to the rest of the U.S. I hold EVERY parent responsible for the actions of their underage child. If teen pregnancy were a crime, Sarin Palin would be in jail or Bristol in juvie hall. Your family should take precedence over EVERYTHING and if you choose to take a job that keeps you from paying close attention to your children and their activities, then you are GUILTY of wrongdoing in my book. Just because she has money to help her teenage daughter does not mean that it is OK what has occurred. I think Palin’s actions are selfish in that she has so many children that so young and need her personal guidance, yet she’d prefer to be Superwoman and have it all, obviously to the detriment of her family. How canyone actualy want someone like this making decisions for them?
Pleeze, you obsolutely cannot blame a child for their parent’s decisions or how they were raised; you can only blame the parent. There was nothing Obama could do to change his father; Sarah palin could have done EVERYTHING to change the way her daughter’s life has turned out. You can only hold Obama accountable for what his children do, as that is a reflection of him. His father is not a reflection of him.
By Mike D
September 9, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this
I don’t think they should get married. I think every teenager should should have as many babies out of wed lock as possible. This ensures that we’ll have more interesting news in the future. To start with think of all of the welfare stories followed by the crime sprees, and over crowded jails. We’ll be able to have many exciting blogs just by encouraging more teen pregnancies.
By MomsRule
September 9, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this
JJ, I agree, we cannot/should not judge the Palins due to their daughters pregnancy.
If one of my boys gets a girl pregnant, I (and my husband) will provide as much love, support and guidance as possible.
We have discussed this possibility many times over the years. It is certainly not the path we choose for our boys and we try to educate them but…
We would not encourage them to get married. But, if that is the path they choose after many long heart to heart conversations then we will continue to support them and provide guidance.
And, we would not encourage giving the baby up for adoption either. My husband and I would step up to raise the child before we’d let it go outside our family.
Not that we have any issues with adoption. We don’t. Adoption is wonderful.
We just feel its not right for our family. We would have a very difficult time knowing that our grandbaby was out there somewhere and was not a part of our lives. As Mom and Dad, we believe it is our obligation to take care of our own if you will.
By JJ
September 9, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
Thank you to those who answered my question.
I myself would have absolutely no idea what I would do. I always try to think of what I would do in certain situations, but until you are in that situation, you really can’t say what you would do.
Honestly, if my daughter came home tonight and told me she was pregnant, I think I would faint.
Then, once they picked me up off the floor, I would find out who the father is, and go talk to him and his parents. I would hope we could all sit down and try to figure out a solution. I don’t believe in abortion as a form of birth control, so I know I would not steer them that way.
But, what works for me, may not work for you. My situation may be totally different.
However, I have preached the “Responsibility Drill” over and over to my daughter, since she was about 10 years old.
I know I will get blasted for this, but you regulars know how in tune I am with her, but as far as I know she is not even sexually active. And I am thankful for that!!! Maybe she heard my words after all…….
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this
It’s not wise to go into something especially marriage when you are set up for failure. It makes for a mockery when a couple marries knowing they have no intention of spending the rest of their lives together. That’s not to say that years down the road when the teens in question have become adults, when they’ve assumed responsiblity for supporting themselves that perhaps they can think about getting married.
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this
Are underage teens who have a shotgun marriage, a baby and very soon thereafter a shotgun divorce and less likely to end up on welfare?
By david c
September 9, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this
I think this issue is between, the mother, the father of the child and their parents. I don’t think it is anyone else’s business if they get married or not. If this was you, would you want everyone else in the world in your private business?
By Mike D
September 9, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this
As long as they are of legal age, I wouldn’t mind knocking up a few teenagers.
By DadMania
September 9, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this
This situation strikes close to home. My brother became an unmarried father at 18 and I became one at 31.
Becoming father’s was a joy for both of us but the worst mistake we could have made would have been to get married.
So in my opinion and based on our experiences it is foolish for anyone that becomes parents to wed just for the sake of the children.
Our kids are better off now than if we had been married, fought, divorced, and split apart. At least they know that we love them and this is the only life they know.
By Those Were The Days
September 9, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this
To all those who’d give your kids “unconditional love” no matter what they did: Folks, you’re only rewarding bad behaviour. When I was a kid, I was brought up with NO love, unconditional or otherwise. I had to toe the line or else. You best believe I never got into serious trouble or did anything that ruined my life. Kids today are so smothered with “love” they think they can get away with anything. And guess what? They CAN
By Stacey
September 9, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this
new mom…I had actually vowed not to get involved with any of the political conversation on here because the become nasty so quickly. I will answer your question because you are a regular poster and I believe that you mean it as a sincere question.
I am a 38 year old black woman who plans to vote for Obama. A lot of people will assume that it is either because he is black or that since I’m black, I think I am “supposed” to be a democrat. (I am not saying that’s what you believe). The truth is, I vote republican more than 1/2 the time but I agree with Obama’s platform more than McCain’s. I think that those who are voting for Obama because he’s black are just as bad as those voting against him because of it. As far as those who argue that he isn’t qualified, IMO he is as just as qualified as McCain.
That said, I would be very proud to have a black man as POTUS during my lifetime. To be honest, it is not something I thought I would ever see and the pride I feel at even the possibility literally brings me to tears. I don’t expect everyone to agree with nor understand; just sharing my POV.
By Shocked
September 9, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this
I would just like to say that I am shocked to see so many people openly insulting christianity as a religion. I think before you criticize on what you hear you should educate yourself. Maybe read the bible and what we actually believe. You only make yourself look very ignorant when you talk about things that you obviously know nothing about!!
By AmazonRed
September 9, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this
Didn’t any one of you as a teenager do something that you knew your parent’s had told you not to do?
And hopefully the lesson learned was that your parents knew what they were talking about! LOL
As for me personally, I rarely defied my parents as a teen. Making them proud was important to me and they never gave me bullcrud excuses as to “why” I couldn’t do something like “because I said so.” LOL
By MomsRule
September 9, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this
Those Were The Days, sad very sad.
By Reality Check
September 9, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this
If this were a young black girl it wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow. Isn’t being young, black and with kids an urban right of passage? Ms. Jackson, how many baby mamas are in your ghetto filled family. More Obama supporters are unwed and with multiple kids and multiple sperm donors than McCains. FYI: Out of the eight metro county area, the students of Clayton County were dead last in SAT scores, and it is no surprise.
By jo
September 9, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this
I know 2 married stable couples who would love to adopt. That’s the answer!
By cgg
September 9, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this
Didn’t Barack Obama have a baby mama? Yes he did. His mother was pregnant with him when she was 18, unmarried and pregnant by a black man.(She is white)Hmmmmmm…….makes you wonder what all the fuss is about..Obama lovers…there ya go!!
By cgg
September 9, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this
You can have Palin with a unwed daughter fixing to have a child be your vice president or you can have Obama whose mother was unwed as a white women, 18 years old in 1961 and knocked up by a black man for president. looks like everybody is going to h e double l
By My3Kids
September 9, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this
@Those Were The Days:
Just because you show love to a child does not mean they will walk all over you or that you are rewarding bad behaviour.
Growing up my parents made sure I was loved. I was spoiled with love. However, I would not walk all over my parents or disrespect them on purpose. I wanted my parents to be proud of me so I did everything I could do to make them proud. Yeah, I didn’t always listen but what kid does?
Everyone needs love. I beleive I am a better person because my parents loved me.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
Hi Stacey!
Thank you for your reply. You’re right, I did mean it sincerely…not to start some ugly war of words, but to hopefully find out where people are coming from.
I can’t say I understand your feelings completely (re: pride of seeing a black man running for POTUS) because I’m not black…and I won’t pretend to know how you feel. I myself felt something bordering on ‘oh cool!’ when I learned that Palin just gave birth 4 mths ago, and I had done the same thing 11 mths ago. But if I happened to disagree with her on the issues, it would have ended at that.
If you believe that Obama is the best choice for this country based on the issues, then I respect that. I certainly am not here to talk anyone out of their opinions…I mean, do people ever change their minds based on what they read on blogs? I would hope not, honestly!
I think what bothers me is that I read headlines like “if Obama doesn’t win, it proves America is a racist country”. I of course can’t speak for others, but I know I dig deeper into the issues and vote for who I agree with most…and I don’t like the insuation that I’m racist because I won’t be voting for him. If he had different views on taxes, foreign policy, etc., there would be an Obama sign in our yard! :)
And again, thank you for your thoughtful reply…That’s what I like about this blog, typically we can disagree on certain things but do so in a respectful way. :)
By cgg
September 9, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Obama is Black and White. Half and Half. Oreo. Get it. He is part of both. That does not make him a BLACK man. He is an OREO.
By new mom
September 9, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this
Those were the days, either you are seriously yanking our collective chains, of you have the saddest childhood I have ever heard of (outside of a serial killer’s memoirs)
By cgg
September 9, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this
Gina,Gina,Gina….so you are voting or Obama which you call trashy. Your words not mine. He was born to a white mother that was 18 and got married because she was pregnant. Also that doesn’t make him completly black now does it??
By Those were the days
September 9, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this
Nope, I’m telling it like it actually was. Apparently, I didn’t “need” love. I’m happily married & have a great job & plenty of wonderful friends so I’d guess I turned out ok.
By LM
September 9, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this
JJ I have been talking to my 16 y/o daughter about sex, drugs, smoking, drinking since she was 6. I hope and pray I was heard.
She is a junior this year, and if she came home tonight and said she was pregnant. I start yelling, be furious and ry my eyes out. After talking with her and seeing where her head was, what her decissions might be, then if that be the case I take her to the clinic and she would have an abortion.
As for a son getting someone pregnant, I hope the other parents would be understanding and suportive.
It would tear me up to take her to the clinic and I truly pray it never becomes a situation I have to deal with, the guilt and pain would be terrible. But at this time, I could/would not see any other way. I don’t think abortion is alway the answer, but feel it is her choice and I as her parent would be a part of her making very difficult adult decissions.
By lovelyliz
September 9, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this
By Shocked
I would just like to say that I am shocked to see so many people openly insulting christianity as a religion.
Not openly insulting chrisitanity, just call those who support marraige by doing it themselves over and over and over again. Like my cousin who is a Sunday school teacher and works in marriage counseling at his church despite the fact that by age 40 he was on wife number 4.
To knowingly create future divorcées is a bigger moral failure than to not marry at all.
By Laura
September 9, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this
If the teens get pregnant and decide to keep the baby and get married, that’s their decision and hopefully the families and friends will support them (emotionally, that is.) I know plenty of “adults” who get married for lesser reasons. Some of them will make it and some won’t. Of course parents want to protect their kids, but by that time it’s too late. They’ve made the choice to become adults- let them grow up. I think we’re the only “civilized” society that wants to remain children until well into our twenties and in some cases our thirties and beyond.
Of course it’s going to be difficult- it should be. Bailing teens out of every hard situation is only going to make it harder for them to make the tough decisions later. Aborting the kid will be even more difficult, for the mother that is. The guy can walk away free and clear. The girl has to deal with the physical, emotional and mental repercussions. Funny how that never comes up while the pro-abortion movement furiously argues about the right for “choice.” The choice was made when they had sex. If you’re not ready to handle the potential consequences (emotionl/mental/physical) of having sex (even without pregnancy), don’t have it. Learn some self-control. It’s that simple. I agree it’s not easy, but it’s fairly simple.
Re: the Sarah Palin serial drama: Both sides are hypocritical and all have done their share of finger pointing. The media is the one making money off of this, so of course they’ll keep it in the news. I just wish they’d get off the poor kid and focus on the nominees. They’re the ones supposedly going to be running this country (even though it’s really the party and not the noms who call the shots, no matter what they say.)
Also, anne @ 12:37 PM- why don’t you take the time to actually refute what you feel is wrong with black girl’s post instead of just saying it’s wrong and leaving it at that? That kind of hit and run statement doesn’t do any good and indicates that you have no clue what you’re talking about.
By Hurt
September 9, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this
Hey, “Shocked”, maybe those of us who are decent, God-worshipping people of religions other than Christianity are sick & tired of being demonized.
By red
September 9, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this
Bold:“Recent studies have shown that the brains of teens and those in their early 20s are not fully mature, so to expect someone to make a lifelong commitment and be able to stick to it at this age is just not realistic.’” And having a baby is not a lifelong commitment????? Come on people, a baby is a person, who will be a lifelong commitment to SOMEBODY!!!
By NotaAtlantafan
September 9, 2008 5:20 PM | Link to this
Not going to answer that question, but lets try this. Teens use your head and don’t get pregnant! Then we would not have the question.
By red
September 9, 2008 5:21 PM | Link to this
yes, Renee said it exactly correct. Unmarried persons having sex outside of marriage is immoral, no matter if the “protection” failed or not. The only REAL protection is abstinence. I believe the pregnant teen should be allowed/encouraged to experience the consequences of her actions. I have told my daughter that I personally will not be buying maternity clothes, baby supplies, etc. if she decided to be immoral and get pregnant. She will be on her own. Actually, I have told her that she’d better have a great relationship with the boy and his parents, ‘cause that is exactly where she will be living. ‘Cause I’d drive her a** straight over there, and put her out at the door. She and he and the parents can all experience the consequences of their actions!!!
By Mike
September 9, 2008 5:27 PM | Link to this
Marriage is really the only option for the little sinners. As a good Republican, I know that women are too stupid and immoral to make their own decisions during difficult pregnancies, and the only recourse is to create a strong, loving family dedicated to Jesus and the flag.
By catlady
September 9, 2008 5:31 PM | Link to this
I would suggest you all read “Promises I can Keep”, a book about why lower class women have babies before/instead of marriage.
By DB
September 9, 2008 5:32 PM | Link to this
I have a 17 year old daughter, so this whole story has been of particular interest to me. I’ve just read through all these responses, and frankly, I’m just amazed. Everyone has an opinion, but NO ONE KNOWS how the principals of this little drama feel. We sure are making a lot of assumptions and judgements based on NO information, other than the bare facts that have been put out — she’s pregnant, they plan to marry. Personally, I think Levi Johnston was the bravest man in America, to agree to come to the convention, knowing the public scrutiny that he would be exposed to.
We don’t know anything about their relationship. I hope, for both their sakes and the sake of their child, it’s a successful marriage — it has a chance, if the whole dang world would just stop chiming in with their two cents!!
Shotgun weddings were accepted back in the times when divorce was NOT, so there was some expectation that the marriage would survive, no matter what. Of course, that’s no longer the case now, when “commitment” is considered a quaint concept, and personal happiness is the ultimate goal. I honestly don’t know how I’d react if my daughter brought me news like this — I’d like to think I’d be supportive, but underneath, I suspect there would be a lot of heartbroken anger and disappointment.
By DB
September 9, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this
One more thought, though: I wonder if it WOULD decrease the incidence of teenage pregnancy if kids thought that they would HAVE to marry their sex partner if they got knocked up, an divorce was an extremely difficult option? Would it make them more choosey in their sex partners? Dunno…
By s.d.
September 9, 2008 5:38 PM | Link to this
No, pregnant teens should not get married. They should be forced to put the baby up for adoption. America needs to stop paying teens for breeding. If we are going to pretend to be so moral and be against gays marrying then shouldn’t some morals about not having sex before marriage come back into play? Shouldn’t we treat it like its a bad thing? They teens weren’t responsible enough not to get pregnant…how will they be responsible enough to take care of a kid??? Give it to someone who will take care of it. If there weren’t so many benefits to getting knocked up then kids probably wouldn’t do it.
By Starry
September 9, 2008 5:39 PM | Link to this
I think getting married because you are pregnant & attempting to please the public is wrong. 17 & 18 years old is young and we are talking about young teenagers who are still trying to find out who they really are and what they want to accomplish in the future. Responsibility & acknowledging you are a parent are 2 different things. Committing to parenthood & being a responsible parent is the same thing. Are these teens really ready for marriage or will the successful grandmother raise the child and let the young adults continue to goof-off.
By catlady
September 9, 2008 5:44 PM | Link to this
If I had gotten pregnant before I got married, my folks would have said, “Welcome to the adult world. Good luck. What are YOU going to do?” They would have been sad that I decided to put my goals (and theirs for me) at risk, but they would have expected me to get a job and move out immediately. My folks were good people, but they expected that “you made your bed so you can lie in it.”
By catlady
September 9, 2008 6:05 PM | Link to this
The benefit to getting married might be that then the young man would be FORCED to man up, at least for awhile, instead of sticking the young woman with it all. It might discourage them from flying from “bee, to bee, to bee” spreading their pollen with little reprecussion.
By Capricorn13
September 9, 2008 6:16 PM | Link to this
Having been an educational secretary for 32 years in the Counseling Office of a local high school, I can tell you I have seen my share of crying, shocked unwed mothers. There is always the alternative of adoption and in Mi we have a ruling that if you feel you cannot take care of the baby, it can be dropped off at the local hospital, police station, or church. No questions asked. The baby then is taken care of and placed with someone who really wants it. No 17 & 18 year old should get married because Mommy feels it is the best thing to do. Levi wrote that he is Fu…. Redneck who loves to spend time with his buddies and never wants children. Now what kind of a father is he going to be to a surprise pregnancy when he forced into an unwanted marriage. These two teeners are children, not qualified to raise a baby. And then there are his parents who resent and rightfully so him be pararded around Washington like a trophy or one of the wild animals that the Dude or Barracuda shot. Let them make up their own minds. Unless Mommy wants to raise two babies nearly the same age, the baby should be put up for adoption. And these two children should be able to be teenagers doing teenagers things, not changing diapers and walking a colicky baby all night long. Let them grow up first, then if when older they want to get married, so be it. But, I bet you each find someone else.
By motherjanegoose
September 9, 2008 6:34 PM | Link to this
Kathy….I was working today and wanted to see what everyone else has to say.
This is a VERY tricky topic.
I have a 16 year old who I KNOW at this moment is not sexually active. She is pretty strong on not going down that road and I hope she can stick to her convictions!
We have a good relationship and I have had all the talks with her.
She has had our new puppy this summer and tells me how much work it is to have a puppy. This is a great prelude to Motherhood…puppies can be left in the crate and we do not need a car seat, stroller, diaper bag and bottles. I have let her assume most of the responsibility and this has been a REAL eye opener.
My gut tells me that adoption is the best choice BUT who thinks the media would keep that quiet ( for the Palins)…I dunno!
I feel sad that anyone has to derail their life for a few moments of pleasure and suffer such dire consequences but that is what happens when you partake in adult activities.
Of course, I do vaguely remember the teen age hormones, as I will be 50 next week…LOL!
When I get to heaven, I plan to ask God why in the world so many teenagers get pregnant and stable couples cannot have children. This seems so unfair.
I met a lady whose sister could not stay pregnant and she carried her sister’s fertilized embryo for her but then lost it. She cried when she told me. The sister’s husband will not let her adopt and there you have it. Such pain!
By gail varble
September 9, 2008 6:40 PM | Link to this
No! They should not marry nor move in with the father! It is better for her and the baby to remain at home, get help, FINISH HER EDUCATION AND GET A JOB! I have situations in my families of the same and it is very unstable for the child to live in an “unyoked” home!
By gail varble
September 9, 2008 6:41 PM | Link to this
No! They should not marry nor move in with the father! It is better for her and the baby to remain at home, get help, FINISH HER EDUCATION AND GET A JOB! I have situations in my families of the same and it is very unstable for the child to live in an “unyoked” home!
By MaggiesDad
September 9, 2008 6:45 PM | Link to this
What a loaded question, WOW, there are so many varibles in any situation related to teen pregnancy its impossible to comment here. Its not a yes or no question…age, maturity, family support system in place, goals of both young people, well being of the child and attitudes of the parents are all significant questions to be discussed before any decision is made. Then you need to know what are the statistics for couples who have married in the past because of pregnancy…much too much to be a simple comment on a Blog…
By meaningless
September 9, 2008 7:11 PM | Link to this
I realize that my comment will be very popular sense I don’t agree with most of you. I teach in a poor rural area of Georgia. As the studies tell us the number of teens getting married have decreased. The rate of teen pregnancy hasn’t decreased so much at least not in my neck of the woods. Teen pregnancy has become so common place in my community. All of my students tell me that Mary gets pregnant to hold on to John. In not one case in many years of teaching in my community has Mary been able to keep John by getting pregnant. With all of this said the expectation of our culture is not for John to marry Mary. Like most of the people posting on this blog these young couples are discouraged from marrying making this situation less serious. Teen pregnancy without marriage is the norm and supported by our society. How can we reduce teen pregnancy if we don’t have consequences. No partner needed, no job, no insurance. You don’t even have to pay for daycare. Just require the guy to pay child support. Marriage would make both parents more accountable for their actions. Isn’ this what God intended. Parents that both take responsibility for their children. In our modern day society we expect monetary support from these teen dads and nothing else. The teen mothers provide care only if the grandparents don’t do it for her. Marriage is tough during the first few years for any couple no matter the circumstances. Wouldn’t it be better to allow the child to be raised by the people who made him? Maybe the expectation of marriage would discourage more teens from getting pregnant. If they knew that marriage was a consequence then maybe they wouldn’t seek out casual sexual partners.
By Reece
September 9, 2008 7:20 PM | Link to this
I find it …for lack or a better word, horrible politics that a seventeen year old girl that is not running for public office has been vetted more than the guy who is actually running for President, Obama. Her past has been made public fodder, that’s just not right. Gina, since you’re an obvious Obama fanatic, how many of his supporters are Baby Mama’s, as you so eloquently put it. At least she chose to keep the baby. Gina I serioulsy doubt she’ll expect a handout, foodstamps or welfare to help support her child. I can smell the fear in the Obama camp now, and yes…I thank Fox News for bringing the real Obama to the table and not some fluffed up junk like MSNBC News who had to demote their two anchors for prematurely ejaculating on themselves each time The Chosen One was on air. Gina, if you want to see trashy, go look int he mirror. I bet you’ll be looking dead in the eyes of 250+ pounds of trash in your own image.
—My word Sarah…after that tyrade of insults how can you call anyone trashy?
By Concerned & Undecided
September 9, 2008 8:16 PM | Link to this
Reality Check 3:57,
The fact most likely is that if one of Obama’s children were pregnant, or was becoming a parent as a teenager right now, the fact would have HURT his campaign. Your racist comments are appalling and you should be ashamed of yourself. Perhaps the reason that there are more children born out of wedlock in the Black community than the White one is not because Blacks are sleeping around more, but because Whites have families and partners that will encourage and pay for them to have abortions and hush-hush adoptions. Black people end up keeping their children because short of killing themselves to rid themselves of the children, they cannot do so safely. And since you want to stereotype so much, which race is out there KILLING their entire families because they’re doped out of their heads, facing financial difficulty, got caught cheating their jobs or spouses??? WHITE PEOPLE!!!! Not saying Blacks haven’t done it, but it’s not like Blacks have the patent on being unwed mothers, teenage or otherwise, either. The White mentality is to Kill and Destroy; Blacks are more pro-life than Whites are. If Obama wants to support abortion, that’s OK. If he ends up your President, someone you or I know may need to see the abortion executioner one day.
By Jesse's Girl
September 10, 2008 6:29 AM | Link to this
I really don’t think the option to have an abortion will ever be legislated away. Voters are way too passionate about this on both sides to have some eager politician commit career suicide by legislating this. So, while its all well and good to speculate about a candidate’s moral stance on abortion….it doesn’t matter in the long run. Its always going to be an option for those who choose it.
By FCM
September 10, 2008 7:09 AM | Link to this
No they should not marry—at least right away. Marriage has its own issues. Having a baby has its own issues too. Putting both together is just asking for a disaster. Yes, many people can pull it off. Most can’t.
That does not mean the teen parents should go running around like they are still footloose, fancy free, teens either. They need to grow up and fast. They need to figure out how to support the child—-physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and economicly….not have the tax payers support them.
Or the could put the child up for adoption.
By FCM
September 10, 2008 7:11 AM | Link to this
Theresa can we do a column on splitting the holidays? My ex is back wanting to see ‘his kids’ even though he has had nothing to do with them for years.
By Theresa
September 10, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
FCM — that is an excellent one!! we can do but maybe a little closer to the holidays. I am putting it in the file!!
By JJ
September 10, 2008 8:17 AM | Link to this
Mother In case I forget next week, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! The big 5-0 huh? I’ll be with you next summer.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Are you doing anything special?
FCM Great topic idea!!!
By Most of you people are LAME!!!!
September 10, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
God you people suck.
By JJ
September 10, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
Lame Glad to see your post. Thank you SO much for dropping by…..
How have you been?
By etkp
September 10, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
I am so sorry but been there done that. I was married at 18 because of pregnancy. It did not work out. We were divorced a year and a half later. I was willing to be a grow up and he wanted to have fun. I agree with teenagers being too young.
By Just a Mom
September 10, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
What bothers me most about out of wedlock pregnancies is the cyclical nature of the problem from one generation to another. You’d think someone would teach or learn a lesson somewhere along the line!
Sarah Palin herself eloped on August 29, 1988, and had Track, a big, healthy boy just 34 weeks later on April 20, 2009. (Normal gestation is 38-40 weeks.)
Now there’s a big difference between a 22 year old who has finished college (six colleges, actually!) and a 17 year old high schooler, but its the same recklessness with your body and your future.
Sarah has worked hard and seems to have done a good job balancing family and a fantastic career, but her story is uncommon. Unplanned pregnancies - whether they result in marriage or not - cut short promising futures for far too many young women.
I sincerely hope Mrs. Palin’s perceived success in ‘having it all’ will not serve as inspiration for the many women who hope to ‘Catch their Man’ with a baby.
By Just a Mom
September 10, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this
Wow - just caught a typo in my last post. Track Palin was born April 20, 1989, not 2009!!!!
By Most of you people are LAME!!!!
September 10, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this
@JJ
I am well hope things are well with you.
Where is “todays” topic? This one is old and moldy.
By JJ
September 10, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this
Lame We made the front page today. Check out the middle of the left side of the front page…….
It has to do with pets…….
By new mom
September 10, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
Hi Lame!
Today’s isn’t showing up on ajc’s homepage—you haev to click on ‘momania’, it will show you today’s topic. it’s fresh and delicious…and perhaps Lame can give me some baby vs. cat advice…
By ELLE
September 10, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this
I really feel sorry for this young lady.
Marriage is NOT the answer!
I watched a YOUTUBE where someother young man, believes he is the father.
Whether that is true/false does not matter…
What matters is why a young teen living at home with both parents is PREGNANT.
There was a breakdown of some sort in that house.
I can help but to wonder if this young girl is looking for attention… love…
I wish I could just speak with her.
I am happy for the life… I am sad for the circumstances.
Just my opinion!
By andthensome
September 10, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
Just a mom is right. Out-of-wedlock pregnancies is definitely cyclical. Sarah Palin was pregnant when she married her husband. It’s documented. Just look it up. ‘nuff said.
By SAG
September 10, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this
Does having a kid at any point of your marriage really help your marriage? No. If it did then why do about half of all couples end up in a divorce. People change after they marry. The woman you married that was once exciting and fun becomes a mom and loses a lot of interest in the things you once found exciting about her. And she gains weight and looks different that the woman you married. If she is a stay at home mom then her exposure to the outside world is limited and you get to hear what all the kids did today. Exciting! The man you once thought was sexy is now annoying to the point of making you want to scream. His little habits that were once cute now get on your last nerve. The body you once thought was manly is now equiped with man boobs and tufts of hair coming out of places you never knew had hair. Many couples have kids out of family and social pressure and let’s face it, boredom. Is it even natural for people to couple and try to maintain a marriage. Is there really a seven year itch? Early men and women stayed together much less than seven years as a couple. Men and women coupled after a child was born and the woman usually carried the child, carried literally, in her arms or on her back, for about four years and once the child became self-sufficient, the man left the woman and he forged on his own and the woman and child were left to do the same. Perhaps marriage is not natural.
By Those Were The Days
September 10, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
So she’s looking for love & attention, hmmm? Then let her get a dog instead of bringing yet another baby into the world. No one NEEDS love, it’s a luxury. Let her suck it up like I did. At least she has a family that cares. Maybe if she didn’t, she’d grow up to be a more independent & capable person instead of a spoiled, coddled princess who needs a “safety net” to survive. it sure worked for ME!
By becky
September 10, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this
Really people….is it any of your business until it happens in your home. None of us really know how we would respond to any situation until it hits us….so grow up and deal - teenagers are going to have sex. Babies are going to be born our of wedlock. Marriages are going to succeed and marriages are going to fail. Just let everybody make the decisions that feel right to them at the time they are going thru whatever and pray that you and your family will never have to make those decisions.
By Suprise Suprise
September 10, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Wow. It will be interesting to see how this blog changes when it’s out in the next couple of days that Bristol’s baby’s father is actually an intelligent African American boy. I received the video of him talking via email today.
By GetaRealLife
September 10, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this
Many of you women that post on here day after day should be excercising to remove some of your lard butts. I can tell form your posting that most of you are obese. To the black women blasting an unwed mother, how many of you are born to a woman who was not married. I don’t kow but a handful of black women who marry their sperm donors. Black women never marry before getting pregnat, it’s not your culture. Face it, Obama is ia meltdown and he is losing groud at such a rapid spped, no one expected this fast of a meltdown. Democrats were craz nominating the muslim. But, you’re Democrats, you’re stupid by nature.
By susie
September 10, 2008 5:41 PM | Link to this
Forcing a marriage on this couple is NOT the answer.
Family emotional support is the answer..marriage can come later.
Every family has trails….this is none of our business.
By susieQ
September 10, 2008 5:50 PM | Link to this
Forcing marriage on these two kids is NOT the answer. Emotional support is what this young girl needs at this time.
All families have trails…
This is none of our business.
By ms. hoo
September 10, 2008 6:34 PM | Link to this
Levi said he never wants children. Now what kind of a father and husband is he going to be? Also, depending on what state you are in, the father’s name may or may not be included on the birth certificate depending on marital status (ie the term “common law” marriage) Those of you who think just because a female has a baby without being married means she is going on welfare, the man is legally responsible for financial support no matter what; that’s what child support recovery is for, and they work with welfare. Kids shouldn’t have to suffer because of irresponsible “sperm donors.” to FCM: see a lawyer, set up something legally, make sure he pays all his back child support first and FIND OUT HOW YOUR KIDS FEEL ABOUT IT.
By No Nonsense
September 11, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
The last thing that little sleaze needs is “emotional support”. She needs a good swift kick. Has our society slid downhill so much that this kind of degenerate behavior is rewarded? And what do you suppose should be done to polite, well-behaved kids that make good grades & help their parents around the house? Maybe they should be horse-whipped???
By Shari
September 11, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this
Fact: Bristol Palin had a choice to have her baby and to get married. I will not put my value judgement on her choices. FACT: My daugthers deserve the same choices! And nobody should judge them for the choices they make. VOTE FOR CHOICE PEOPLE!
By underland fn
September 24, 2008 8:18 PM | Link to this
well i think it’s wrong that they got pregnant.but i have somthing to say that im sure none of you have thought of, why are teens biologically alowed to get pregnant anyway? i mean im guessing that teens were supposed to get preg. anyway,this society is just to advance. i know that some of you arent christian,but god desighned teen women to get pregnant,so im guessing he wants them to. its just that people cant get over the age factor.they still want to treat teens like babies.wich i think is wrong,we just need a little trust in teenagers to do the right thing. adam and eve were most likely teens,otherwise in gods words man and women. just thought id give this whole pregnancy debate somthing new. thats all.and btw i am 14.and i do think that teens are stupid for getting pregnant. and if they wanted adults to trust them they wouldnt do things like,drink,and smoke. and no im not pregnant myself.
By underland fn
September 24, 2008 8:18 PM | Link to this
well i think it’s wrong that they got pregnant.but i have somthing to say that im sure none of you have thought of, why are teens biologically alowed to get pregnant anyway? i mean im guessing that teens were supposed to get preg. anyway,this society is just to advance. i know that some of you arent christian,but god desighned teen women to get pregnant,so im guessing he wants them to. its just that people cant get over the age factor.they still want to treat teens like babies.wich i think is wrong,we just need a little trust in teenagers to do the right thing. adam and eve were most likely teens,otherwise in gods words man and women. just thought id give this whole pregnancy debate somthing new. thats all.and btw i am 14.and i do think that teens are stupid for getting pregnant. and if they wanted adults to trust them they wouldnt do things like,drink,and smoke. and no im not pregnant myself.
By underland fn
September 24, 2008 8:18 PM | Link to this
well i think it’s wrong that they got pregnant.but i have somthing to say that im sure none of you have thought of, why are teens biologically alowed to get pregnant anyway? i mean im guessing that teens were supposed to get preg. anyway,this society is just to advance. i know that some of you arent christian,but god desighned teen women to get pregnant,so im guessing he wants them to. its just that people cant get over the age factor.they still want to treat teens like babies.wich i think is wrong,we just need a little trust in teenagers to do the right thing. adam and eve were most likely teens,otherwise in gods words man and women. just thought id give this whole pregnancy debate somthing new. thats all.and btw i am 14.and i do think that teens are stupid for getting pregnant. and if they wanted adults to trust them they wouldnt do things like,drink,and smoke. and no im not pregnant myself.
By mommy2be
October 2, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
I would just like to add that some teens’ circumstances are different than others! I am 17, pregnant and recently married the babys father who is 21! But I would also like to add that I have been with this same person since Feb of 2006. We are very stable and abortion is absolutly out of the question. Baby’s have a beating heart, therefore aborting them is MURDER! Im not saying that im not wrong for having premarital sex but its not like just slept with some guy i just met either!
By areli c.
November 13, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this
i am a 18 year old mother and i got pregnat at 17 and married w my babys father at 17 also. the marriage only lasted 5 months, now where getting a divorce..i think there should be a law where they should prevent girls to get married till a certain age.One things for sure i dont regret having my baby girl, people make mistakes n we learn from them.Nobody in this world has the right to judge nobody but GOD.But i certanly do agree that pregnat teens should not get married.