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Sunday, September 7, 2008
And then there was one
It’s an odd phenomenon to go from caring for three children to only one during the school day. Do you miss your pack when they go off to school? Does it ever feel the same with a subsequent child as it did with your first?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My 17-month-old daughter wanders the house calling for her older brother and sister. As hard as she searches, she’s not going to find them — at least not between the hours of 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. during the week.
They are both at the elementary school just a few miles away, and I feel just as lost as she does without them.
I had my two oldest children very close together (25 months apart) so I’ve rarely been without at least two children to care for at home.
We’ve gotten used to moving as a pack, and we’re pretty good at it too. Like a semi-well-oiled machine, we get into the car as a group. We go to the gym as a group. Sadly, we often even go to the bathroom as group. (You know you’ve shoved all your kids into the handicapped stall in the public restroom. What else are you going to do with that stroller?)
It’s an odd feeling to only load one child into the minivan or to only take one child with me to the grocery store. When I show up places with just Lilina, people are surprised. They expect to see me carrying the baby with the two other little ducks trailing behind.
When I’m out with the just the baby, I feel like a platoon leader who has gone out for a jog with no soldiers behind her. I turn around expecting to find other children but they’re not there.
It’s definitely easier to get our chores done, and it is nice to be “alone” in the house when the baby takes her nap. But it’s an odd sensation to go from caring for three to only one during the day.
For some bizarre reason when Lilina and I are out alone, I always feel the need to explain that she’s not my only one. I guess I don’t want other mothers summing me up as a novice.
During the week, Lilina gets up early with the rest of the kids (Let me rephrase that: The poor baby gets woken up by the rest of the kids). But I don’t think she would have it any other way. She misses them so much during the day that I think, although harder on us, she needs to eat breakfast with her brother and sister and see them off to school
When we come back into the quiet house, we just kind of look at each other like “Well what should we do now?”
We try to stay busy and stick to somewhat of a schedule. We try to workout at least four mornings a week. (She doesn’t work out so much as let me push her in the stroller.) We go to the farmer’s market together. We smell the herbs and talk to the other mommies and babies. We take the dog to be groomed and have meetings at the church.
I plan to sign her up for a music class like I used to do with Rose and hope at some point we can meet mommy friends for lunch like I used to when I just had one. The only problem is these days most of my friends have to pick up their kids from preschool at 12:30 p.m. so their play time is limited. I’m back to having all day.
We play with trains on her bedroom floor. She shoves books at me and demands “Read!” We go out back to swing. There’s far less chance of her getting knocked in the teeth by an un-observant, erratic swinger, but it’s also far less entertaining with only me singing and digging in the sand.
She plays with the gate under the arbor and explores the garden. We eat lunch, she naps, I work and we wait. Wait for the rest of our family to come home.
She’s always up just in time to greet them. I’m usually changing her diaper from her nap when we hear the bus steaming up the hill. Lilina and I run out to the stop. She squeals and laughs when she sees Rose and Walsh climb down out of the bus. Her best friends are home! And we are a crazy, boisterous pack again.
You can reach Theresa by email at ajcmomania@gmail.com. Topics for columns or blogs are welcome!
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