MOMania

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 7:47 AM | Link to this

Theresa…this will be an interesting topic . I am so riled about the mean spirited comment (directed towards me) late yesterday of cut the cord ( re: my son at —-) that I will offer this one comment and a question too. I hope cut the cord has something positive to bring to the table instead of railing on me where there is no business to rail. COMMENT: Sleep deprivation WAS a big issue for me when I was nursing each of my children and teaching school I cannot imagine it for Sarah. There are nights now when I wake up worried about my children or my clients and I am not VICE PRESIDENT!

QUESTION: Also, I am interested in where the daughter will live once she marries and has her baby. Could you be in Washington DC with a 17 year old daughter who just had a baby in Alaska with her husband…or will they all hang out at the White House? Will Levi just pack it up and move along? Would you want that for your son? I have been to Alaska and it is FAR away from DC…hahaha!

I am intrigued with Sarah and feel she can shake things up a bit for the good of our country. She seems like a smart cookie but can she pull it off with everything else going on in her life? I cannot begin to imagine the issues she will be facing but wish her lots of luck.

See…I did not mention —-….

By jct

September 3, 2008 7:58 AM | Link to this

Hmmm… I thought this may be an interesting topic when this question was submitted on yesterday.

My only problem with this type of question is no asks this questions about fathers. No one is asking how Obama and McCain balance their high powered job with family responsibilities.

It seems quite obivious to me that she is doing both well. Otherwise why would she get the nomination?

I say well because she seems to be holding a marriage, children and work together. Small children or not. She is getting it done like many other women. She has made a choice and it is working for her and her family.

Her daughter’s pregnancy has nothing to do with how she was raised, per se. I am quite empathic because as a step parent to a teenager who is trying his best not to reflect the values and live the lessons that he was taught. There are times when I am sure people think that we did not raise him properly.

By dittohead

September 3, 2008 7:58 AM | Link to this

By dittohead

September 3, 2008 7:58 AM | Link to this

By dittohead

September 3, 2008 7:59 AM | Link to this

By JJ

September 3, 2008 8:01 AM | Link to this

This should be interesting, but I hope it does NOT turn into SAHM vs. working moms.

Some of us didn’t have a choice.

Mother Who riled you up yesterday? I must have missed something……

Today will be a better day.

By JJ

September 3, 2008 8:11 AM | Link to this

jct Have you EVER heard of a man complaining of balancing career and family? NO!!! Because they aren’t expected to do it. It’s just the way of the world. Men work, women work AND balance the family and career.

I saw a sign at my Doctor’s office that made me laugh. There was a construction site in the cartoon with a sign that said “men working”. Two women were sitting there, and one said to the other, “Women always work, men have to put up signs when they work”.

I lauged so hard. I got a copy of it and put it in my office.

By Jeff

September 3, 2008 8:12 AM | Link to this

The thing you gotta remember about the Vice Presidency is that it truly is a throw-away job. No REAL responsibilities other than advising the President and being the tie-breaking vote in the Senate.

In fact, though there have been some influential VPs in our history, it really wasn’t until Cheney when you saw that post morph into something more than figurehead. And since I doubt McCain wants Palin to be the next Cheney, the job will probably revert to being a figurehead who works behind the scenes doing the things the President can’t be seen doing.

So, the way I see it, she actually has a HARDER job being Governor of the State of Alaska than she will as being Vice President of the United States of America.

By FCM

September 3, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

I am so glad you brought this up.

Any single MOM who can tell you how important a DAD is in the life of a child.

How will Obama’s 6 & 9 year daughters do while DAD is President? How many Dad’s N’ Donuts is he going to make? How many school plays will be superceded? How come no one cares about that?

To say that Palani cannot be a VP because she is a MOM is BS!!!!!! She has a husband, Todd can step up to the plate and be the ‘primary’ care giver for 4-16 years. She will be no more absent than Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, or JFK (all had youngish children raised in the White House)….

HOW SEXIST to say her Mommy job and her VP job would compete.

By Theresa

September 3, 2008 8:24 AM | Link to this

Hey JCT — You know I did have a question at the end saying would we be asking this of a male candidate with an infant - but I must have cut the question out last night when I was editing at midnight — bad decision —- So I add to the questions:

Would we ask the question about a male candidate with a small infant or special needs baby?

I think most often the kids are at least a little bit older when the parents run. A friend was saying there were some women senators who had small babies— she couldn’t remember if they got pregnant as senators or when they were running — but I think usually the kids aren’t infants —

By deidre_NC

September 3, 2008 8:24 AM | Link to this

i think any mother who works outside the home has a rough row to hoe. it seems to me that women who have a husband and a highpowered job (meaning more money and more help with home stuff) would have it lots easier than mothers with regular or low income jobs..especially if they are single and not much help from the father. it is all so relative. but no matter what your income or marital status-it is hard to raise children and have a full time job. someone else has to help-theres where the higher income and or a helpful husband comes in handy. ……..thisd column couold be very helpful if we stay on topic-MOTHERS and working-not fathers-not stay at home moms..

By JATL

September 3, 2008 8:25 AM | Link to this

Yes, the question is loaded, but the one reason I do think it is fair to ask is because while already governor she chose to have a baby and a special needs baby at that. I’m not saying she shouldn’t have had the baby -just that at age 44 with 4 kids, why get pregnant at all when you’re in such a demanding position? On top of that, she does have a special needs child, and if she were truly going to be able to haul the kid everywhere in the world AND take up plenty of valuable time with him it may be different, but as VICE PRESIDENT of the United States she’s going to be incredibly busy. People think the VP doesn’t do much, but they lead the Senate, and they are the face of our nation all over the world because the President can’t be everywhere. They have many many 14-18 hour days. Even if Trig is with her during her travels, I don’t see her getting to spend lots of quality time with him. I would say the same thing if she were an ER surgeon or a corporate attorney. I believe that having children is a choice we make, and certain sacrifices have to be made when we do it. YES, women can have great careers and be moms too, but when that child or children are babies and toddlers, at least one parent needs to scale back a bit. While it’s a tender trap, so to speak, it is usually the mother who does this for a variety of reasons. Taking an even more demanding job isn’t the way to go.

For dittohead -I don’t think women with children under age 5 should be sent to Iraq. Call me old-fashioned, but we need to get a little more real in our society. This isn’t a perfect world, and the children we bring into it deserve a little more time and attention than a lot of them are getting. I’m a little tired of the status quo seeming to be that it’s fine to just have kids and then think about the consequences and what needs to happen in order to be a good parent AFTER the fact instead of before.

By Theresa

September 3, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

Mother Jane —- I didn’t see that one either —- Don’t you worry one more second about what somebody said to you on this blog — You know what your relationship is with your son and you know it’s fine and healthy — People like to just be mean and believe me I know!!! Just ignore it — don’t waste one more ounce of energy on it — They would love to know you’ve been festering about what they’ve said — Don’t give them the satisfaction!!

By Jeff

September 3, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this

Men work, women work AND balance the family and career.

Could a more sexist comment POSSIBLY be made?

The FACT of the matter is that men have to work JUST as hard as women at balancing family and career, and WE don’t complain about this every day. Instead, we suck it up and take it like men.

By Theresa

September 3, 2008 8:29 AM | Link to this

Mother jane — let me further add that you add too much good thinking to our blog to back out just because somebody is being a jerk —

By Cheri

September 3, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

I don’t think it’s possible for one person to successfully perform at a high powered job and raise small children. One parent has to have flexibility and availability.

I think Palin as VP will work if her hubby really does act as the primary care giver.

You don’t hear the same question about Obama or other men because their wives are usally the primary caregivers. Michelle Obama already said her first job would be Mom in Chief.

Military moms and single moms have a really hard time and they do what they have to do. But that is a different discussion because they don’t have a choice. If they had a choice, how many of them would deploy and leave small children or work 2 jobs? Not many would. So to put them in the discussion would be to compare apples and oranges.

By Noodle-o

September 3, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Isnt this what you feminists always wanted? The high paying job with all the prestige and power that comes with it? Oh, I forgot, that’s for women who abort their children. I find it interesting that the left-liberal-socialist women never have the family responsibility question come up but when there is a strong conservative woman involved, then all the home and hearth questions arise. Just demonstrates the intellectually vacant arguements of the left

By Noodle-o

September 3, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Isnt this what you feminists always wanted? The high paying job with all the prestige and power that comes with it? Oh, I forgot, that’s for women who abort their children. I find it interesting that the left-liberal-socialist women never have the family responsibility question come up but when there is a strong conservative woman involved, then all the home and hearth questions arise. Just demonstrates the intellectually vacant arguements of the left

By JJ

September 3, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Mother My dad used to tell me “Don’t let the turkeys get you down”.

By Most of you people are LAME!!!!

September 3, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

@JJ

After your last comment at 8:11 AM I can see why you are single….

By high-powered mom

September 3, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Of course women can do it all! Lots of women do it every day. Our female predecessors worked hard to break the glass ceiling, and I feel compelled to keep moving up and do my part. I love my job and I love my kids, and I can do it because I have a great husband who supports me. Some women don’t have that, but I think they should demand it. Also, I think it is important to note that the higher you get up the ladder in your the career, the more flexibility you have, generally speaking. I’m high enough now that I can be in the office on my schedule without affecting my performance and can be where I need to be for my kids. When moms drop out of the job market for years and years, they pretty much have to start lower on the totem pole, which means less freedom.

By Lee

September 3, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

What’s the problem? She’s a Republican, for gosh sake! Sarah Palin will simply come to Georgia and hire one of those nice Mammy women like Scarlett O’Hara had in “Gone with the Wind,” and everything will be fine. Especially since the Mammy will be underpaid, with no Social Security or grumpy old stuff like that.

Problem solved.

By nurse&mother

September 3, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

Motherjanegoose- please read my post on yesterday’s blog.

This is a very tough question. What is the difference in Sarah Palin and any mom (working outside the home or not) who has so much on her plate (PTA, school projects, community projects, church projects etc)?

I have a dear friend who has four children and has a terrible habit of putting so much on her plate that she has difficulty getting everything done. When you go over to her house, it is pure chaos! The kids run up to you and beg for attention. Wonderful woman-would give you the shirt off her back!

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

THANKS NURSE AND MOTHER! I know we do not always agree but I cannot stand rudeness without validity. Yes, I have been rude, when there was a perfectly good reason…that’s another topic…

cut the cord see 6:59 a.m. post TODAY ( sorry) riled me up and I have posted my reply. Topic: Budgeting leads to entrepreneurial kids, I offered a 25 cent insect project…tongue in cheek and some shared fun insect stories…which I enjoyed. Some kindly offered to help. I was falsely accused as another poster ( by cut the cord) too!

It is more challenging to offer a thought provoking opinion than to rail against other posters.

Thanks to each of you who have helped me to step outside of my box and look at the flip side of the coin. Have a super day!

By mariasofritaconchitalonsonotmyrealnameitsajoke

September 3, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE.

it is NOT a sexist comment. i have yet to meet a man that is as detailed in parenting as a woman. when we decided that turning the world upside down was better because we were tired of being “at home” notice that that is when the family begin a high speed descent into hell. no wonder many so many women are packing it in and throwing the superwoman cape in the trash. you have to have a SUPERIOR support system to do the dual role thing or something gives. it’s not sexist, it’s common sense. something has to give and it’s usually family. THAT is why nobody asks that question of obama or mccain. they have a support system - they have a WIFE. wives don’t have wives, they have husbands. husbands are great - but they don’t do the details. they don’t always notice when johnny is not doing the homework or lucy is moody because she was not invited to the party. mommy won’t always notice either when she’s only there a few hours a day. let’s be real.

By workingmom

September 3, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

Come on ladies, we aren’t men. Men don’t have to worry about it because they have women that do. I don’t disagree with her ability to be vice-president, just her timing. I could barely hold my job, manage my household and give my 4 month old everything I thought he needed. Imagine the busy campaign schedule. Obviously she’s not leaving him with the hubby. And, you can’t have your kids running around the Senate floor.

By Sarah

September 3, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Some women cannot just sit at home and raise kids and have their entire lives be predicated on being a caregiver to kids and having dinner done when hubby walks through the door. Sarah Palin is one of these women. Would we ask a brilliant minded man to do the same? No, the same would never be expected of him. It’s 2008 and it’s time to think out of the box. What about Obama, his wife works and he has two small kids at the ages where their dad should play a daily interactive role in their lives. With his wife working full time can we not ask the same of Obama. Where will he ever find the time to be a full time dad and do all he claims he is going to do as President. This is such a media slanted question, a sexist and stupid question people should be ashamed to even ask it. Srah Palin has some people scared, they have no real vested interest in her parenting abilities. Their fear of her popularity goes far beyond a genuine concern for her kids.

By nurse&mother

September 3, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

I read the link. I think that some people (women and men) can pull this off. I think it takes a very organized person, but it can be done. I am not that effecient to pull this off, but if she can than all the power to her.

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Lee—- I am thinking there was someone else up North who got in trouble for having hired help ( without paying Social Security) that was a from a different ethnicity than the help you are referring too…

Was it a Democrat…oh my gosh? If it was also a Republican, I stand corrected. Maybe someone remembers?

I hope you are not dwelling in a house here in the metro that was built by illegals..shame on you! Perhaps they were underpaid too and you got a bargain on your house?

By My3Kids

September 3, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

I agree with the previous poster that stated being the Gov. of Alaska will be a harder job than being VP of the USA. Some women can do it all and it does not make them supermom. I really beleive that Palin will do fine being VP and taking care of her family.

I am a working mom. I have been a SAHM. I do miss being a SAHM some days, but I was going stir crazy being at home. I love to work. I love and miss my kids though. Financially I have to work, well I could probably work part-time and be ok however I also work for the insurance and benefits. That reason alone I have to work.

I am a mom to a 14, 6, and 18 month old. My 6 year old is probably one if the easiest kids in the world. She is gifted, self-efficient, funny, and loves going the extra mile to help anyone. My 18 month old is like every 18 month old, stubborn and thinks she can do it herself but she is a Momma’s girl and is attached to me every waking moment. This is not because I work, she was like this from the the first moment I held her when she was born and I was a SAHM when she was born and was for the first 9 months. If those two were my only kids I probably would have no second thoughts about trying to do it all. However, they are not and I do have second thoughts. She is my handful. A few weeks ago I thought she was finally getting with the program. This week I feel like she has regressed 3 years. She is my special needs daughter and every day is a battle. Maybe I want work to avoid the battles, I don’t know.

Every situation is different. It is still to early for the Palins’ to determine what extent the baby’s Down Syndrome will play in his life. There are many Down Syndrome children in this world that basically have the look that these sweet children have and are a little slower than most in their age group. There are also many who are unable to function in the real world. Time will only tell.

By jct

September 3, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

@JJ

Yes JJ, I have heard men make the comment. I have a male friend who just recently changed professions so he did not have to travel so much so he could spend more time with his children. He philosphy was they are only 8 once. I have another male friend who won’t move out of his home town because even though he and his wife divorced he wants to be at the PTA, games, teacher/parent meetings, etc. Maybe you should expand your male friend base. Many of the men I know are discussing balance.

Palin has a supporter spouse. Not sure what he does but I am sure his job is more flexible.

Maybe we ought to look at our work place rules to see if more flexibility can be added such as real flex time and real split shifts. This way as long as the work is done that nothing else matters.

By Pretty sure Mr. Palin will be a SAH Dad

September 3, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

I have a feeling Mr. Palin won’t have much of a career — other than the important one of helping with the children — during the years his wife serves as Vice President. His current job is commercial fisher and pro snomobile racer — not a lot of job opps like that in DC.

So, are we okay with Gov. Palin for VP if her husband becomes Mr. Mom? Or do we still have a problem with a strong female who has built a high-powered career on her own merits (not her husband’s)?

By Cheri

September 3, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

I could barely hold my job, manage my household and give my 4 month old everything I thought he needed. Imagine the busy campaign schedule. Obviously she’s not leaving him with the hubby. And, you can’t have your kids running around the Senate floor.

See this is realistic talk to me. No one can really run a household, raise children, do self-care and have a high powered job without a support system.

For men, the support system is usualy the wife.

But what do you do when both people have high powered jobs? Someone needs to step back.

Women with regular jobs are already stretched to the max.

There is a happy medium between staying at home and being VP of the United States with an infant.

By SouthFultonMom

September 3, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

I find it interesting that so many feel this question is sexist. As a mother of two, I find it extremely difficult to work and fully be there for my children. I am quite sleep deprived, but I am also blessed to have a wonderful husband to help. With that being said, I still feel a huge responsibility to be there for my kids. I teach for a living. It’s demanding. I’ve chosen not to go into administration until my kids are older because it would be even more demanding. IMHO, it’s unthinkable for a woman to have an infant, special needs or not, and consider taking on this position. It is self-serving and hurts the children. Yes, dads are important. Yes, dads should be there too. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, can take the place of a mother. And trust me, her kids will remember her decision to place job over them. It’s not honorable. It’s selfish! Don’t have kids if you can’t be responsible.

Her 17 year old daughter is just another reason why she should be home with her kids. So what if she’s getting married. She’s a kid!!!! It’s disgusting how people are applauding her. What have we come to?

By Becky

September 3, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Everyone needs a support system, so if she has this from her husband, who’s to say that she can’t do the job..LAME, regardless of why JJ is a single Mom, what does that have to do with JJ”s daughter having an usless Dad? I don’t care if all of the singles Mom’s are the biggest b**tches’ in the world, does that give the Dad’s the right to not see or do for their children??

By Ebaby

September 3, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Where she is at right now, it is much easier to pull-off than, let’s say, a secretary. If the Governor (or boss) wants to breast feed her child at a meeting, then she can. If the the secretary wants to do it, I bet there will be reprimands.

Secondly, I think as long as ONE parent is devoted than the other can have the luxury of dedicating extra effort to the job. Perhaps her husband has picked up her slack?

Thirdly, my view of what my role as a parent and as an employee would not allow me to do both jobs correctly. My dreams of becoming upper managemet have been put on the back burner so that I can guarantee that when I get home in the afternoon I am 100% home and not answering the cell phone to talk to someone from work about work. I only see this becoming more the case as my child gets older and need help with homework, dance classes, girl scouts, sports, etc.

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

JJ…I loved the 8:11 comment and shared it with my husband too! LAME….strong women are always working ( unless we are getting a mani/pedi….hahaha) …that is just the way it is.

By Ebaby

September 3, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

As a further comment, I have embraced my new role as mother and am enjoying it greatly. I never thought I would like it and think that is why I was making big plans for my career. Now, my career in the work force doesnt seem as important as my career as a mom.

By My3Kids

September 3, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

I see no problem with Mr. Palin being a SAHD. I think more Dad’s should play this role. What is wrong with a strong female building a career on his own merits? With my career, I can not use my husband’s merits, we are in 2 different fields. I work with finances and do IT work and my husband is a contractor. Why would I use his merits?

By jct

September 3, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Southfultonmom

When your children become teenagers and do things that are against your values/teaching/upbringing you will look at Palin differently.

She probably did everything that she was supposed to but her daughter made a choice that had absolutely nothing to do with how she was probably raised.

I understand that her daughter’s marriage is none of my business but WHY the HECK does she want to get married at 17? That is the more crazy part. Be engaged. Co-parent. Why of why get married? But agian, I know this is not my business.

To the person attaching JJ’s singlehood. Stop. It’s mean and unwarranted. We can disagree without being nasty.

By Numbers Guy

September 3, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Can she do it? Of course she can. Can she do it effectively? That depends on how organized she is, but it’s a lot tougher than just getting both jobs marginally completed. Can she do it if her husband is committed, and able to take over a lot of the caregiver roles? Easily.

To mariasofritawhateverthe ll, who’s never met a man who can parent as effectively in the details as a woman - keep looking. I know several couples where this is the exact situation. I’m related to folks who operate that way very well indeed.

By Homeschool Mom

September 3, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

I think that when women CHOOSE to have a baby they should plan on staying at home with it. I can’t understand why people have them and then dump them at daycare/babysitter and spend so little time with them. Why have them in the first place if you are more important to yourself than they are.

By Smart Ace

September 3, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

My wife and I both work and care for our 4 year old daughter and 1 year old son equally. She has a little more flexibility because she gets to work from home four days a week but the kids still go to school during the day.

It can be done if you try.

By JJ

September 3, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

There are some very strong women in this world, and I believe Gov. Palin is one of them.

I have been raising a child on my own, and I work a full time job. At times I have had to choose between my kid and my job, and I hated it. But, you do what you have to do to succeed. By that I mean you have to succeed in balancing. And women are naturally better balancers than men…..we can balance a baby on our hip, talk on the phone, and cook dinner, all at the same time.

I feel women are strong and we are becoming stronger each and every day. We are making more money, and we are holding higher positions than ever before. The glass ceiling may still be there, but we are working to shatter it.

Look at all the successful women in this country and see how they are balancing their lives. Sarah Palin isn’t the only one.

I look forward to hearing her speak tonight, and learning more about this woman who may very well be our next VP.

By Rhonda Scott

September 3, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Can you say “father”? As a ‘high-powered’ female executive and mother of two, I can honestly say it is not near as difficult as one might think to be a working mommy. Ask my kids. Good parenting is much more important. My husband and I both accept the responsibility for nuturing our children.
Would anyone ever ask a ‘high-powered’ male executive if he can be a business man and a father??

I won’t say that we don’t have our challenges, but the sacrifices WE have made are worth it.

My daughter is a well-rounded and gifted student athlete (4.0 GPA, Principles honors list, president of the Beta Club and will graduate 1 year early with honors). My son likewise is an honors student despite a learning disability. I rarely miss an event (both participate in travel soccer) and cook 4-5 meals on Sunday, so they can help themselves if we are not home. Oh yea, we even eat at the table TOGETHER on most nights.

Would I trade being a working mom? Not for anything!

By Theresa

September 3, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Guys seriously read the link — it really explains a lot of how she is currently managing her work as governor and how she is taking care of the baby —- it is really fascinating stuff —

By Smart Ace

September 3, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

@Homeschool Mom

Come talk to me when your kid is a social outcast because he/she/it doesn’t have the social skills to interact with people in real life.

But you keep homeschooling your kids because book smarts are way more important than common sense right?

By AmazonRed

September 3, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Look, reality is this…NO ONE can have it all, man or woman. When you focus on one thing, something else will suffer. Period. It’s your choice.

I’m very sure Sarah Palin has a great family and she does the best she can, but a pregnant 17 year old is preventable.

My parents have been married for 31 years. Having 3 kids in the first 5 years of their marriage meant someone had to stay home. That was my mother. She was there EVERYday. Looking back, she wishes she had done more with a career, but it wasn’t worth expense of her family.

All 3 of her daughters got out of high school virgins. We didn’t need to rebel or defy, we had parents who were there installing healthy self esteem (and I grew up in Los Angeles which is no easy place to raise a well adjusted kid). There was no way I was having sex in high school. NO WAY. My virginity was important to me and I wasn’t looking to fill any void that my workaholic absent parents left. That void didn’t exist!

On the flip side, while my mom was at home, my dad was bringing home the bacon. While he had a great career and made a lot of money initally, he missed a lot of dance recitals and bonding moments.

You can have a lot, but you can not have it all without sacrificing somethign else. we are a happy, well adjusted family, and that’s just reality.

By My3Kids

September 3, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Theresa I have read the link. It really is fascinating. I envy her for being able to pull it off.

By lovin life

September 3, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Homeschool mom It is called a father!!! My hubby is a great man. I am a sahm but have no doubt that if before kids or even if it posed itself now, my hubby would be a great sahd!!!

By Jesse's Girl

September 3, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

I have a reasonably high powered position in my industry. I have people that work for me in 3 cities. There are times when I travel and as a family….we make due. Just like everyone else. However…I am wired to balance my two worlds. I do it well; and while there are certainly times that something slips or slides through the cracks….you could never tear me away from either one.

Each mom is different…each dad is different. I know some fathers who are hard-wired for work and thats it. They do not balance well…due to a one track mind, as men often have to have…but they provide very well. I also know fathers who are geared more toward staying home and assuming those many, many duties. Furthermore….there are dozens of men out there who balance just as well as their wives.

This is the true question here….how well can one expect to balance all that life throws at them? The answer is very simple…..we do our best. Women are typically more adept at it than men. But I think thats really because no one expects it out of their men. I do….I expect it and I get it. I also balance well for the benefit of my husband…of my family. But I understand thats its a talent(if you will) that not everyone has.

Sarah Palin is the poster mom for balance. Kudos to Mr Palin too….she couldn’t do it nearly as well without a strong, stable man and father in her life. They have achieved balance. And in the end, if you have balance…your chances of sanity and happiness increase exponentially.

By Captain Obvious

September 3, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

I read the article Theresa linked above and I can’t help but feel that her 4 month old’s mental retardation might have been caused by her stressful job…..I’m just saying….

By Emily

September 3, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

I think Palin would do a great job, but I would like to see the campaign make it very clear that her husband is going to be the primary care giver to the children for the next four years. If he is going to somehow try to keep working then I think it is just too much to juggle. However, if he is willing to be the primary parent (and basically take over the 1950s traditional role of mother while she takes the role of father) then I am fine with it.

By DB

September 3, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Would we be having this conversation if Bristol Palin wasn’t pregnant? If Palin’s kids were all picture-book perfect 4.0 students who were president of the Students Against Drunk Driving and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, were star football, basketball or soccer players, and taught Sunday School, would this come up?

As Vice President, Palin will have a superb support system — household staff to take care of One Observatory Circle (the kids won’t be running around the White House too much, the VP’s office is in the Executive Office Building next door), drivers and Secret Service — a lot of the details that run-of-the-mill SAHM’s have to deal with will disappear. Of course, she’ll trade them in for a different set of problems, like a media and public who will scrutinize her every move. I suspect that, once everyone gets over the novelty of the kids, etc., the media will calm down and she can get on with the business at hand. For now, though, she has to grit her teeth without grinding them, and keep smiling.

Yes, she can do it. I’m not sure I could do it, but I suspect she is made of sterner stuff :-)

JCT, I am completely with you — “when you have a 17 year old daughter, THEN you can talk.” You raise ‘em, you love ‘em, you drag ‘em to church, you talk to ‘em, you go to PTA meetings, you’re room mother, etc., etc. But in the end, they are living, breathing, thinking individuals who sometimes make mistakes. As a parent, you pray their mistakes won’t be the permanent variety — but then again, we don’t always get what we want.

My heart goes out to Bristol — it’s hard enough to be in this position, without the ENTIRE FREAKIN’ WORLD second-guessing not only your actions, but those of your beloved mother. I can’t imagine the guilt and worry that Bristol must be feeling now, worried about how her actions have affected her entire family. That’s a lot to dump on a young woman.

By AmazonRed

September 3, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

But nothing, and I do mean nothing, can take the place of a mother. And trust me, her kids will remember her decision to place job over them. It’s not honorable. It’s selfish! Don’t have kids if you can’t be responsible.

AMEN SouthFultonMom! Speaking as my mother’s kid, I totally agree. I would have respected and admired her no matter if she chose career or family, but there would be some resentment if she was always at the office. Your kids know you love them, but there are some that just want you around more. Period. And nothing can replace that until you actually are.

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Two comments; ONE I say this all the time about my competition in the educational arena ….when committees are thinking about hiring me… SOME FOLKS LOOK GOOD ON PAPER AND SOME CAN GET THE JOB DONE ( me).

We need to ask ourselves this about every single candidate on the ticket…who looks good and who will get the job done?

TWO Homeschool…please do not go the the Doctor, Dentist, Grocery Store, Dry Cleaners, Library, Nail Salon, Chik Fil A, Mall, Car Dealership…I could go on, as there are women there working to help you ….who DO have children at home.

This is America…we have a right to choose. I concede that you are not sending your child to school and tying up any teacher’s time.

My husband stayed home with our son ( when he was a baby)…who is attending —- LOL and did a fine job with him.

Look in the mirror and say this 5 times…SOME WOMEN DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE ABOUT GOING INTO THE WORK FORCE AND WHO AM I TO CRITICIZE THEM WHEN THEY DOING THE BEST THEY CAN?

Even when you choose to have a child …life can hand you a rotten apple and you have to work…

This reminds me of when our preacher preaches how everyone should be in church on Sunday morning and then heads out to eat lunch right after church…does he think the restaurant folks are getting to work after church at 12:30 to whip up the menu…hahaha!

Thank the Lord there are nurses at the hospitals and even WOMEN firefighters ( oh my goodness) who will be able to help us out before noon on Sunday!

AMEN!

By SAR

September 3, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Can the average woman do what she proposes to do? Probably not. She is not the average woman. If the highlight of your day is to discover what a teaspoon of peanut butter does to the cookies you bake, then I doubt the jog of what’s expected of the VP is something you can handle. Don’t judge her by your ruler. Some women were born to raise the bar and excel beyond expectations. Palin just raised the bar. Homeschool Mom, don’t compare yourself to Palin. The comparison equals that of comparing a taxi driver to the pilot of the space shuttle. Go bake some cookies and do the laundry, such lofty goals!

By My3Kids

September 3, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Down Syndrome caused by a stressful job????? Are you for real?

I know everyone is entitled to an opinion, but Down Syndrome is caused by a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome. Truth being Gov. Palin’s age probably played more a role of the baby being born with Down’s than her career.

By AmazonRed

September 3, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

She probably did everything that she was supposed to but her daughter made a choice that had absolutely nothing to do with how she was probably raised.

I think that’s hogwash and a cop out. Parenting is not a crap shot. You do what you think it best but if you find out it’s not working, it’s up to YOU to change it. The problem is, you often just can’t walk away from career or whatever is keeping you from saving your kid from making bad choices.

Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s the parent with a keen eye that can help head their kids off at the pass.

By Jesse's Girl

September 3, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Amazon Red….how the hell is a 17 year old pregnant girl in a PREVENTABLE situation? Now….granted, if you are talking about how condoms should have been the prevention or common sense…then I agree with you. Although, I challenge you to find any 17 year old with a fully intact capacity for common sense. But if you are intimating that being a good, involved parent is the recipe for keeping pregnancy at arm’s length….you’re a damn fool. I don’t care how sweet your parenting is….how involved and available you are…if your angel wants to get busy with someone, they will. In the end, its all about choice and personal responsibility. YOu can’t follow them around all of the time. But maybe you do…

By Church is the devil

September 3, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

Nothing is more wastefull in this world than worry and praying……except maybe doing the tomahawk chop…..but I digress.

By AmazonRed

September 3, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Amazon Red….how the hell is a 17 year old pregnant girl in a PREVENTABLE situation?

Wow…are you serious?

Scary.

By Kate

September 3, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Can mothers balance high-powered jobs and kids? YES..we do it everyday. And we will keep on doing it..we take the good with the bad. Just because you have a job outside the home does not mean you quit being a mom or deprive your kids of something. Its all about the quality of time spent with the kids not quantity.

By Captain Obvious

September 3, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Oh you are so right My3Kids….a chromosomal disorder couldn’t possibly be caused by stress…….stress only causes people to have strokes and heart attacks…..but couldn’t possibly lead to some form of genetic disorder in an unborn fetus…..how stupid of me…

By JJ

September 3, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

HomeschoolMom So you think that ALL Women who CHOOSE to have a baby should quit work and stay home? Can you imagine what our country/world would be like if we all stayed home? I don’t even want to think about that.

We as women have worked VERY hard to achieve what we have and what we have contributed to society. Equal Rights I believe is what women fought for and are still fighting for. Then you make a 1950’s Leave it to Beaver comment and tell us Moms that we need to stay home.

That is SO 1950…

And yes, I was attacking her comments. As a single mom (not by choice) I HAVE to work. And I didn’t dump my kid at some daycare for someone else to raise.

That kind of comment just p** me off!

By OhTheDrama

September 3, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Can most of the women on this board agree that duties at home are NOT split 50/50. Generally, it is the mother that provides the greater amount of nurturing to the children. In families, with SAHD’s, the mothers still have a natural pull to nurture their children every chance they get. Oftentimes, the mothers feel regret and guilt for the compromise they have made toward work. I know, because that’s how I feel.

The fact is there is such thing as “having it all”. You can not give all of you day to your children AND all of you day to your job, and when the job is being VP of the US, how is it possible to be there for your kids a satisfactory amount of the time.

Sometimes I think people are confusing what they would like to be able to do, with what can actually happen.

I have no doubt that Sara Palin would not short change her responsibilities as VP. But I know good and well that her family, in it’s current state, is going to suffer dramatically if she gets this job.

Now, just looking at Michelle and Barack Obama, it is clear that Michelle is the greater nurturer in that relationship and Barack offers additional nurturing and structure. But how is a stepdad going to offer the kind of guidance needed by a 17 year old new mother. My thought is it won’t turn out so good.

By CONSERVATIVE VOTER

September 3, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Conservative Republicans last year with regards to Hillary being president: I think women are better suited to be at home than men. After all their better communicators they are the nurturing component in the family. Part of the deterioration of our society is the fact that after the women’s-lib movement, women are now working more and more outside the homes going after higher paying positions. I think it’s elitist that Clinton would say that being a stay-at-home mom is somehow not desirable…in fact to the contrary I think women who stay at home and raise their children properly are the backbone of what makes our society functional.

Reporter to conservative Republican today: Do you think it’s a good idea for any parent to take on the job of V-P of the United States when he or she has 5 children at home and an infant less than a year old…as well as a teenager who’s about to have a child herself?

Conservative Republican today: Why, that’s sexist?

By Funny Man

September 3, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Seriously the only reason McCain chose a woman to be the VP is to protect himself from assassination. He dies….she takes over as Commander in Chief……

Perhaps Obama should have chosen a Mexican as his running mate….

By Jesse's Girl

September 3, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Wow Amazon…thanks for doing everyone a favor and actually reading what was written. You’re awesome.

By parentof4

September 3, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Ok I can so relate to Ms. Palin. Which is why, being out of that mindset, I can say she should not be VP. My youngest son was born in April, by August I started Law School. I worked full-time and went to school part-time. I only had 3 kids by then. When I was done with law-school my child was 4 years old. All the informative time I lost. While doing it I said, well when I am home I am with them. It is only 4 years….4 years in a childs lifetime, is alot. We only have 18 years to spend with our children. Her husband seems to be working full time plus having other hobbies on the side. Who I ask you are parenting these children? No you can not controll your teenagers, but it has been proven when a parent is in the child’s life they are less likely to say UMMM get pregnant. I mean mom and daughter were pregnant at the same time, if you belive their timeframe.

Still, the children are being short changed. I know this by living it. I saw her story and immediately went through my life, to make sure I made the right changes NOT to stay in that rat race. Not to compromise my children again. I firmly believe if I cannot be a caregiver over my house, then I cannot be a caregiver over others. Family is first. My teenager being pregnant (or getting someone pregnant since it is a boy) would make me seriously rethink my parenting for the others behind.

By Sugar

September 3, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

FunnyMan He chose Palin in order to begin the process to drill in Alaska. DUH.

By GeoffDawg

September 3, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Not trying to offend anyone here. Just offering a comment - The question of fairness to the job was raised for working mothers - my response is to ask “what about fairness to the co-workers?” Pregnant women in the workforce are treated almost like a sacred cow (no pun intended) these days and are given carte blanche to miss as much work as necessary to deal with the pregnancy. This is on top of the 6 to 12 weeks of maternity leave that they receive. I have no issues with women prioritizing their families and children over their work life. I think that’s a wonderful calling. However, those left in the office are expected to pick up the slack on take on extra workload to cover for the missing manpower. I admire strong family values in people in general but at the same time, your children are not “my” family. Why should I have to work extra hard and disrupt my work/life balance to accomodate your family plans? I don’t see any easy answer but the truth is that the coworkers often are called upon to subsidize your family planning.

By Becky

September 3, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Homeschool Mom, I think that a lot of women do plan on being a SAHM, then reality sets in..Some can balance a busy career & home life just fine, so why do people always want to be ugly to people that choose to do this..

I heard a guy this morning on the radio that is a SAHD to SEVEN children..Do you think that’s an easy job?

Jesse’s Girl, I loved your 10:20 post..You said it all..

By AmazonRed

September 3, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl, when you change your tone and take out the profanity and all caps in your initall response, maybe I’d take you seriously. You don’t have to like or agree with my opinion, however, if you are going to respond to me, please do it with some class and respect if you want that in return. You can save your flippant and condesending remarks for someoene who will tolerate your pettiness. I don’t.

Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. Please check out www.stayteen.org for more info.

I like this blog, Theresa you do a good job. But one common thread I see as I lurk regularly is that the mom’s on this blog are very defensive about anything that challenges some of the choices they’ve made. We all have a right to our opinions and there is no clear right or wrong answer on these work vs. family type issues. I’d just ask that some of you calm down and respond rationally when you read something different from your own personal experiences. Thanks.

By Sarah Can Be VP

September 3, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Hmmm…lot’s of Obamamania on here today. Palin can’t do it but Michelle Obama can? Get a clue Ohthe Drama. How partisan can you get. What has Michelle Obama ever done on her own merits? Other than be unpatriotic and mean? Has she been elected Mayor or Governor? The only thing I know of her is that she graduated from a couple of toney schools and then quit a high paying job? Excuse me, that sounds rather stupid to me. Did she leave just so she could say she left a 250K plus job? Yawn…I am not impressed. Parentof4…law school and you say alot and not a lot? Again, law school? Yeah…right.

By motherjanegoose

September 3, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

For the record, I remember being told that my great grandmother in 1909 was pregnant with my grandmother before she got married to my great grandfather…

I am pretty positive that she had a stay at home mom…but I never had a chance to meet her.

Is teen age pregnancy a new topic…I think not.

I pray this does not happen to my daughter but the only way I can guarantee it is if I am with her all the time and that will NOT be happening…

There is a Bible verse that says something like:

He who is without sin cast the first stone…

My stones are all where they were yesterday….in the back yard and I am NOT touching them.

By Annie

September 3, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

You know, you can raise your kids to the best of your ability, instil in them right & wrong, but at the end of the day those kids will go out and make their own choices and decisions. Which is exactly what happened with Gov Palin’s daughter.

So we’re going to play judge & jury now?

Women for years have been clamoring for equality and now that we’re facing a female VP, who wouldn’t have been chosen if she couldn’t do the job, you’re berating her for abandoning her family.

Make up your minds people!

By lwa

September 3, 2008 11:33 AM |