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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
What to do when grandparents show a preference?
One of our readers wants to know how to handle a grandparent who favors one set of grandchildren?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Michelle posted a question last week about how to handle grandparents when they show a preference to one set of grandchildren over another. Here’s what she wrote:
“My husband comes from a broken home. His dad is remarried. The woman he married is less stepmom and more ‘dad’s wife’ since they married when my husband and his brothers were adults. She has two kids from her first marriage and my father-in-law was a better dad to them than he was to his own kids.”
“Anyway, now that there are grandkids involved they show preference for the bio grandkids of the stepmom. This really angers me, especially since my parents are dead and my husband’s parents are the only grandparents. Does anyone else have to deal with an evil stepparent who favors her own kids and grandkids over the natural grandkids? How do they handle it?”
I think this happens a lot and not just with stepgrandparents. I have heard of the grandparents favoring non-adopted grandkids and even choosing between their own blood relatives.
It is one thing when the children are small and don’t notice the slight, but it’s another as they grow and start to become aware what is going on. We had a friend who recently had this happen and the elementary-school age granddaughter totally noticed. She asked her mom why the grandmother had taken the other grandchild shopping and not her.
Do you grin and bear it, say something to the grandparents or just explain to the child as they get older “that’s just how grandma is?” Do you try to get equal treatment or just accept it for what it is?
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