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DEL.ICIO.US5-year-old’s universe expands
How are the first few week's of school going for your kids? How do help them make adjustments to big steps like starting preschool, elementary, middle and high school?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For the last five years, my son’s life has been pretty insular. We frequented the same places, saw the same friends and had the same rhythm to our days.
But two weeks ago my little fellow began a mighty big adventure — he started kindergarten. His universe expanded rapidly with new people, new places and all new experiences.
I have been fascinated each afternoon to hear Walsh’s impressions of his bold new world, and I wanted to share some observations from his first few weeks of school:
He was most excited about was choosing his own lunch at school. Apparently, it hasn’t been any fun just having a dictator named “Mommy” make lunch. He said he mostly wanted to choose broccoli.
He doesn’t always know the names of the other children in his class, but he knows on which letter of the alphabet rug they sit. They use green, yellow and red as their discipline system. If your token is on green, you’re being good. If it’s on red, you’re breaking rules. This system seemed to affect him tremendously. On the second day, he was very concerned about the boy on Y who had to move his token to yellow.
I was stunned. This was all I needed to do the last five years to discipline him — move a token from green to yellow?
“Do you like the boys in your class?” I asked one day. “Yes,” he replied. “One guy.” I then asked, “Do you like any of girls?” He smiled really big and said, “All of them!” (Of course, my little Dobie Gillis!)
By Wednesday on the first week, he was ready to stay home just like he used to in preschool. He got up, got dressed, ate, but then settled in on the couch for a little TV time. I said, “Buddy you’ve got to go to school.” He said, “What?” He was shocked he had to go another day. I said, “Dude, it’s called hump day.” It seems sad that a 5-year-old already has to learn about hump day.
I went to have lunch with him that day because he seemed so distraught about having to go there again. I surprised him outside his classroom door. The door was closed but I could hear him exclaim loudly “My Mom’s out there. My Mom is here!” He hugged me and held my hand as we walked down the hall to the lunchroom. Then he showed me all his new lunchroom skills — how to choose his milk, his tray, his silverware, his food and how to give the lunch room lady his card to pay. He did a good job, but the hamburger was too hot for him to pick up.
I couldn’t believe how hungry he was. He eats scrambled eggs, fruit and toast for breakfast each morning. His class has a snack around 10:30 a.m., and he eats a PB&J, soy beans and more fruit. When I went to have lunch with him, he ate almost an entire hamburger, gobbled up a bowl of English peas like they were chocolate chips, ate almost an entire bag of baby carrots, drank strawberry milk (He never drinks milk.) and then had a popsicle. And when he got home from school two hours later, he was hungry again.
- When I left the class on Wednesday his teacher said he was doing great. All greens. But things started to change by Thursday. He had it with school and following directions. He got off the bus Thursday and said “I’m sorry, Mom.” I said what for? He said, “I got a yellow.” He was almost in tears.
On the up side, he put his hand in his little shorts pocket and pulled out two pennies. He said, “Look, I found two pennies in the classroom. I thought we could use them since we’re on a budget.”
While I appreciated his concern for our family finances, I told him he needed to take them back and put them where he found them. He didn’t like that idea at all!
- He did return the money, but things went down hill from there. Around 2 p.m., I got a call from a mommy friend who had been to the lunch that day. She said “I just thought you should know, Walsh was in the cafeteria crying.” I was heading to the library with the baby so we swung by the school to see if he was OK.
I wasn’t going to bust into the classroom or bother his teacher. I just wanted to know that he wasn’t still crying. Luckily his para-pro walked through the office. I asked what was going on. She said he was having a hard day! He didn’t want to share the cash register and started crying when his teacher said he had to. So then he got sent to time out. I made her peek to make sure he wasn’t still crying but she said he was happily playing.
His teacher called after school to tell me about the incident. She was very loving and said the first of school was always a huge adjustment for all the kids and things would get easier. So far, he’s only greens during the second week. (Let’s hope he keeps it up.)
- My intrepid reporter on the scene, my 7-year-old daughter Rose, tells me that poor Walsh falls asleep on the bus every afternoon coming home. She enjoys waking him up when it’s time to get off the bus. He wanders down the steps dazed and hungry from his big adventures at school.
Comments
By Pam
August 25, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this
Thanks for this topic. My child has started kindergarten too. It’s been an adjustment for me as well. My child was great the first four days of school and then on the first Friday of school said “I don’t want to go to school anymore!” Wow, where did that come from?
By Baby off
August 25, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this
Great narrative Theresa!
My baby is a late-year birth- OCT, so although she’ll soon be 5, she could only enter Pre-k IV…
My daughter simply loooooves school!
… wakes up on Sat & Sun upset that school is closed!
… even after falling down and scraping her shoulder when a classmate hugged her too tightly while saying ‘goodbye’… Boy! Was that hilarious!!
It’s great to see your little ones blossom… isn’t it?
By Baby's gone too...
August 25, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this
Great narrative Theresa!
My baby is a late-year birth- OCT, so although she’ll soon be 5, she could only enter Pre-k IV…
My daughter simply loooooves school!
… wakes up on Sat & Sun upset that school is closed!
… even after falling down and scraping her shoulder when a classmate hugged her too tightly while saying ‘goodbye’… Boy! Was that hilarious!!
It’s great to see your little ones blossom… isn’t it?
By Baby's gone too...
August 25, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this
Great narrative Theresa!
My baby is a late-year birth- OCT, so although she’ll soon be 5, she could only enter Pre-k IV…
My daughter simply loooooves school!
… wakes up on Sat & Sun upset that school is closed!
… even after falling down and scraping her shoulder when a classmate hugged her too tightly while saying ‘goodbye’… Boy! Was that hilarious!!
It’s great to see your little ones blossom… isn’t it?
By gigi
August 25, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this
what a lucky kid! first, he has a good mom; second, he has choices. a far cry from my kindergarten days when your only choice was to do what you were told or be sent to the office.
By Baby's gone too...
August 25, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Great narrative Theresa!
My baby is a late-year birth- OCT, so although she’ll soon be 5, she could only enter Pre-k IV…
My daughter simply loooooves school!
… wakes up on Sat & Sun upset that school is closed!
… even after falling down and scraping her shoulder when a classmate hugged her too tightly while saying ‘goodbye’… Boy! Was that hilarious!!
It’s great to see your little ones blossom… isn’t it?
By PHR
August 25, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
It was a hard adjustment last year when my son started Kindergarten. He got in trouble a few times because he wouldn’t walk against the wall when the class was in the hallway. He couldn’t understand why he had to walk right next to the wall when he usually walks down the middle of a hall. He also got lost the 1st day of school in the afternoon and didn’t make it to his after care program. My husband and I were terrified, but he just rode the loop and they dropped him off back at the elementary school.
This year at the beginning of 1st grade things have gone very smoothly (knock on wood). He knows the ropes this year.
Good Luck Walsh and Theresa! He will have a great time once he gets into the rhythm.
By JJ
August 25, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Good Morning and Happy Monday to all..
Theresa Can we do a topic on kids who are going to college for the first time? I would LOVE to see what some folks do, as I will be there next fall (Fingers crossed)…..
By Lauren
August 25, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
“I got a call from a mommy friend who had been to the lunch that day. She said “I just thought you should know, Walsh was in the cafeteria crying.” I was heading to the library with the baby so we swung by the school to see if he was OK.”
Of course he was OK! Good grief, let the kid be a kid and have a meltdown or 2 or 10.
How is he going to learn independence if Mommy is rushing to the rescue in the first week of K?
By Brown-Eyed Girl!
August 25, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
Great topic! My son started kindergarten two weeks ago also. Because Kenny never went to pre-school or daycare, I was a little nervous about how he would do with this big new world. I took him to school along with my 22 month old, Kyle. Kenny sat down with the rest of the kids and Kyle thought he was supposed to sit, too. I had a hard time convincing him that he could not stay at school with his big brother. Anyway, Kenny gave me a look a couple of times that made me think this was going to go really bad really quick. I decided my best course of action was to try and sneak out. As I back towards the door keeping the baby quiet, I thought this would make my great escape. But then, Kenny heard the door open. He look at me and I was about to panic. He then raised his hand and said, “Bye, Mommy”. Yall, I almost broke down! My baby is becoming a big boy now! He is having a few challenges, but nothing out of the ordinary. His teacher says he gets better and better each day. This morning when I dropped him off, he ran in the class and told his teacher, “wait for me” as the other kids began singing their morning songs. My heart still aches a little because he doesn’t need me as much as he used to. But its okay, he makes me proud every day!
By grandma d
August 25, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
Amen, Lauren! Can we say “overprotective”?
By Numbers Guy
August 25, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this
He’s going from 1st to 2nd, so not as much of a shift. However, at his school, the day lengthens by 25 minutes between those two grades. We’ve been a little bitter about that.
I told him that he was now pretty much on as full a day as school was ever going to be (true), until he got to college, when all bets would be off, and he might even go to school at night, like Daddy sometimes did. Oddly, he found that prospect exciting!
By catlady
August 25, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
Teresa, from a long-time kindergarten teacher: don’t “drop by to see if he is okay”. I assure you, they will call you if there is a problem that they need your help on!
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this
I loved your poignant ( sp?) column. As you may recall, I taught Kinder for years before my current job of storytelling in Pre-K and Kinder and training early childhood teachers ( my name is not just a screen name). catlady is right…you need to limit the dropping in.
What school is Walsh in…perhaps I could squeeze in a drop in for his peers.
JJ…yes we can share a few tips for college kids and if Teresa takes this on, I will be glad to offer mine.
A story from a Kinder teacher in MN ( 2 wks ago) This happened last year at their school and remember that they start after Labor Day and it is cooler up there plus some schools have half day Kinder programs.
The first grade teacher announced that it was time to pack up and get ready for lunch. One little boy walked over and grabbed his jacket and book bag…then was waiting at the door.
“What are you doing….” asked the teacher. “I am ready to go home…” smiled the little boy. “Oh, we are in first grade now and we stay all day …we eat at school…”
“who the he%% signed me up for this…” replied the little boy…who was not smiling!
Aren’t they precious? Our neighbor’s 7 year old eats dinner with us every Monday and it is so cute how he fills us in on everything at school…quite entertaining. My daughter has watched him for years.
By gem
August 25, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this
Easy you guys, she did say she didn’t burst into the classroom to find out what was wrong. I don’t think he even knew she was there. I’m sure she did it for her own peace of mind.
By DB
August 25, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this
Kindergarten … my, that was a while ago! Now I have a college sophomore and a high school senior. If you think time has flown by to get to kindergarten, just blink — the next thing you know, you’ll be standing at H.S. graduation listening to “Pomp & Circumstance” and wondering where the time went …
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
Oh wow…I did not mean that to be ugly for me to drop in.
I meant a visit for story time…which is what I do with children ages 2-7. I apologize if it sounded wrong. One thing to always remember…just say this in your head:
If every parent would be doing what I am doing ( dropping in to check on my child) would that be o.k.? The teacher does need to gain the childrens confidence and if parents are lurking in the hallways, that can be a problem.
This applies to eating lunch too…it is WONDERFUL to eat lunch once per week or maybe once per month but try to limit it to special dates.
This is why some teachers do not allow parent volunteers…they try to run the classroom and then the teacher cannot do her/his job.
Again, sorry if I mis spoke about the dropping in..I was really trying to offer something sincere.
By JustMe
August 25, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this
The fourth day of school and you can’t refrain from going there because someone told you they saw him crying? OHMYGAWSH! I hope you have an ample supply of underwear for the kid, because he undoubtedly hasn’t even learned to wipe his own behind yet, as overprotective as you obviously are. He’s a resiliant kid, he’ll cry and he’ll get over it, and life will go on. CUT THE CORD!
By VP
August 25, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
My daughter began Kindergarten this year and it has been a hilly situation. Her teacher is a veteran for 19 years, and she really has them under control. The biggest adjustment was her having less talk time than normal. She talks very much and now she can only talk during recess. Anyway, she is learning to be more focused and pay attention. Thanks for sharing your experience. I agree, that you don’t need to go there when your son is crying…he will be okay.
By JJ
August 25, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this
It seems like just yesterday I would go over to the Elementary School and surprise my daughter for lunch. I loved sitting with her and her classmates.
The look of sheer joy on those little faces when Mom or Dad comes for lunch is just priceless.
I think if I showed up at the high school for lunch, she would turn and run the other way.
By Gwinnett Mom
August 25, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this
I remember packing a lunch for my daughter’s first day and showing her the tupperware full of canteloupe and telling her, “Now don’t throw this away. Bring it home and we will wash it for the next day.” Well when she came home her lunch box was empty. I asked her why she didn’t bring home the tupperware. She looked very distraught and said “But Mommy the teacher said to throw everything away!” Her teacher was a first year teacher and I sent her an email with that story. Children at that age are VERY literal!
By Theresa
August 25, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this
JJ — we can totally do heading off to college —- I think they may have just started — will check on that —- look for it soon (probably this week)
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
That new teacher was NUTS!
I always told mine NOT to throw anything away except the trash. Keep all the food in there that you do not eat. Some children did not like something that was sent to school and would not remember to tell Mom when they got home.
I do not like wasting. If they brought home a bag of pretzels that was untouched…then perhaps their Mom might ask about them about it and not send them again or send something else!
If the lunch box is empty…you may assume that they ate everything!
Oh well…new teachers have the energy and us old horses have the know how!
JJ you are right,,,,my husband teases with my daughter that he is coming to HS to eat with her. We rarely even get to UGA to eat with our son!
By parentof4
August 25, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
Ok I used to eat lunch with my kids everyday. Well it really was for my youngest son who was allergic to green and made red his favorite color. Me coming allowed him to stay at least on Yellow. :)
As for the crying, I let the teacher tell me. This way my child can see that I talk to his teacher and she will report everything, the good and the bad.
My youngest and daughter started Kindergarten this year. The less talking thing is killing her. But other than that, she is enjoying actually learning.
Funny story: It was lunch time and the teacher told the class to get ready to go. My older brother (a long time ago of course) did not understand she was saying get ready to go to lunch and recess. He grabbed his bag and proceeded to get my older sister. He told her lets go and walk home the day was over. Well my sister knowing better told him no. He decided since his teacher said “they could go” he would leave anyway. He walked all the way home, boy was he upset when my Mom and I brought him back to school. You indeed need to watch what you say to little kids.
By JJ
August 25, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
Mother I can only imagine the look on your son’s face as you walk into the UGA cafeteria and announce “Mommy’s here to eat lunch with you”…..the mental image I have…….
By Nicole
August 25, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this
Thank you! My daughter started kindergarten and I can relate to everything. My daughter also said that she has a new best friend, but she keeps forgetting her name. LOL.
Her school uses the color system as well, expect they have 4 levels, Purple, Green, Yellow and Red. My daughter managed to stay on Purple everyday, except the day their teacher was out and the para placed her on Yellow. My daugther was so upset with herself. The color system really works, but it should never be misused.
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
Boy…I must not be up to speed as it appears I am being grossly misinterpreted today! Good thing no one is paying me for my opinion…I would be out of a job.
Eating with our son at UGA has and will never happen. I guess I should have said ATHENS.
We ate in once in the cafeteria, (2005 with other parents) at the meeting for new students. Our son has his own apartment and does not eat in the cafeteria. We sometimes call him to ask if we can drive out and take him out to dinner. We did do this on his birthday….imagine it. He loves to eat sushi and is thrilled when we pay. Between me traveling for work and him working 24 hours per week plus a full time student….we do not see much of him.
I have not eaten with him at school since he was in 4th grade.
Hope you did not die laughing over the mental image JJ, as I do enjoy reading your posts…twas not the way you saw it!
By JJ
August 25, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this
Mother I knew what you were trying to say. I just got a little tickled about the image…..
By Stacey
August 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this
Because my son was in daycare, starting Kindergarten wasn’t that big of an adjustment for him. The main thing that he had to get used to was the fact that he was going to a new “school” with new people since he attended the same center from 6 mths-PreK. Still, thankfully the transition was nearly seamless. Like Walsh, he was fascinated by the punishment system. His K had range of green, yellow, blue, purple & red and he always questioned his teacher as to what specifically would cause you to go to drop a level. He never got below yellow and both times it was for talking during storytime. He’s in 2nd grade now and they only have green, yellow and red. I also heard every day which kids in his class had to move their clip and why.
My son’s school strongly discourages parents dropping in to check in or have lunch because they (understandably) feel that it is too big of a disruption of an already hectic 1st few weeks of school, especially for Kindergarteners. They allow parents to walk the kids to class only on the first day then after that, they have to drop them off in the at the designated point. There are plenty of teachers their to direct them if they get lost. You are allowed to have lunch with them on their birthday and they have “Muffins with Mom” and “Doughnuts with Dad” once a year. By the 3rd day of K my son had adjusted to his new school and felt really proud that he was a big boy. This year I took his supplies to open house and he wouldn’t allow me to walk him to class because he said that’s for little kids.
By ayoungmom
August 25, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this
My daughter started kindergarten today as well. Fortunately, she is at the same school that she attended for pre-K. So there are lots of familiar people and routines. I am so proud of her, though and I can’t wait ti get home to hear all about her day.
By Ya'll Are Lucky
August 25, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this
All I can get out of my kindergarten granddaughter when I asked how her first day/week of school went, was “I don’t know” and “Nothing.” Just like her mother 16 years ago! For all I know, all anyone does in kindergarten is sit around and stare at each other all day!
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this
We teachers have always joked about those kids who reply to the “what did you do in school today” with “NOTHING”. What a fabulous job,….getting paid to watch the little angels as they sit perfectly quiet on the carpet all day long and do nothing.
FYI…if you have a talkative child that has been reared in talkative environment …they usually give you the run down.. They also burst into the classroom and tell us what is going on at your house…whether you want it told or not…hahaha! Oh the stories….
By JJ
August 25, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this
It is definately true, you blink, and suddenly they are a senior in high school. Where did the time go?
I was telling my daughter the other day, I don’t know what I’m going to do without her in the mornings when she goes off to college next year. I have driven her to school almost every year. Middle school was the only time I didn’t drive her. I had to be at work about an hour before school started.
It’s going to be so quiet in my house next fall……..
By My3Kids
August 25, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this
I have 4 more years for my youngest to start Kindergarten. What makes that so miserable is the fact that I know it will be here in just a matter of time. Each year goes by faster and faster.
I can still remember my oldest starting Kindergarten in 2000. She was so nervous, but after the first day she loved it. She used to throw away my containers because she didn’t want to loose them. It seems like yesterday but at the same time it feels like an eternity. LOL
My middle baby started last year. Due to a bus shortage and railroad construction on the all important intersection to come home, she was 2 hours late getting home. It never bothered her. She did get placed on yellow that day. She forgot to raise her hand on the first day of school to call out an answer. She was horrified. She cried all through dinner telling her father and I about it. She was only placed on yellow 3 times last year. One for forgetting to raise her hand, once for walking to fast in the hall (she was hungry) and the funniest thing for being placed on yellow was she got caught helping a girl on a test. I am not condoning cheating but the look on her face was priceless. I remember picking her up that day from ASP and asking her how her day was. She looks at me as I was helping her into the car and says “did you know you are not allowed to help others on a test when they are struggling?” I said “yes, that is considered cheating.” She proceeded to tell me that she did not know that until today and she thought it was unfair to be placed on yellow for it. She told me that she knew she could not give the girl the answer but was showing her how to work out a math problem. It took all I could do not to bust out laughing. I told her that she would need to discuss her yellow with her father. Her teacher called me that evening also laughing about the entire incident and explaining that she had to place my daughter on yellow because she did receive a warning for helping. I understood and wasn’t upset. I would have done the same thing in her teachers place.
My daughter has not allowed me to come to school to visit for lunch yet. My oldest wanted me there about once a week, but I tried to make it once a month. I wonder what my youngest will be like by the time she is 5. She is a lot like her middle sister.
By anne
August 25, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this
I think this red, green and yellow system of punishing children is downright creepy. It’s humiliating for the children and “teaches” nothing but blind obedience to the “rules.”
After moving to Atlanta and observing teachers use this method at our local school we made the decision to enroll our children in private school.
No wonder the poor little fellow is so exhausted on the bus ride home every day!!!
By michelle
August 25, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
My son started Kindergarten last week and he’s enjoying it. He went to pre-K at the same school last year. The teachers are wonderful and range from brand new to very experienced. Thankfully, we have the one who is widely regarded as the best; she was a teacher of the year last year.
The only issue is the amount of homework the kids have in Kindergarten.
How I wish kids could be kids again and not little minions of the State, forced to learn by rote instead of learning how to think creatively and cogently.
By michelle
August 25, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this
And Anne, how would you have kids learn discipline?
Jesus!
Part of the reason children go to school is to learn how to function in society and part of functioning in normal society is learning to follow the rules!
By My3Kids
August 25, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Anne, can you please explain your comment: It’s humiliating for the children and “teaches” nothing but blind obedience to the “rules.”?
I can understand how you would see the color system as being humiliating; however getting into trouble is humiliating. A least to most children getting into trouble is humiliating. I truly don’t understand how this system teaches nothing but blind obedience to the rules.
I will be the first to admit that my children are not perfect, but you better believe once they enter that school building they better be some of the most behaved children. My oldest is a handful but that has a lot to due with her disabilities, but she has never once been in trouble in school except for the minor things of talking and not sitting in her chair (mostly an effect of her ADHD). And those items are typical things most children get into trouble for.
By Numbers Guy
August 25, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this
I’m waiting to hear anne’s alternative method for maintaining classroom discipline and teaching that you have to follow rules to get things done, myself. Gotta have some system…
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this
My 16 year old came home to report a BIG fight in the Collins Hill cafeteria today.
Perhaps if those girls went to elementary school here and learned the color system for discipline, no one would have gotten hurt.
Anne…you have got to be kidding. Maybe you should sub in Kinder and perhaps invent your own innovative way for discipline. FYI…if you want to know how schools are doing go to the Great Schools web page: greatschools.net
By momtoAlex&Max
August 25, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this
Anne, how would you enforce discipline to 15 to 20 kindergartners? Please enlighten us, tell us how your private school deals with it.
By FCM
August 25, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this
I got a call from a mommy friend who had been to the lunch that day. She said “I just thought you should know, Walsh was in the cafeteria crying.” I was heading to the library with the baby so we swung by the school to see if he was OK.
Exactly why you do not call a parent on every little thing you see. Sure Walsh will have some adjustments. Yes, the teacher will talk to you. However you cannot make everything all right for him every time….even though you want too and it hurts your heart when you cannot. Give him room to grow Mom.
signed:
Been there and know it’s hard.
By HB
August 25, 2008 5:44 PM | Link to this
Parents really eat lunch with their kids on a regular basis? I had heard of parents with offices near their kids’ daycare doing that (which I think is a good thing), but not kindergarten or older other than on special days — parent lunch day, maybe a birthday if that was the norm at the school, etc. Honestly, I’d be even more worried about going after a kid said he didn’t want to go to school. Seems like checking in at lunchtime would 1) remind him of and validate his concerns about going after he’s been fine for hours and/or 2) send a message that if he acts unhappy about being there in the morning, Mommy will come have lunch with him. I’d be a little concerned about ruining his rep among other kids too. I’d worry that showing up for lunch the first week, especially without knowing if other parents would be there too, would make him look like a baby to the other kids. If there are no signs of serious problems, I say leave the kid alone — he’ll be fine.
By catlady
August 25, 2008 5:47 PM | Link to this
On the “what they tell about home” theme: I have heard about pot smoking parents, and daddies who took up with a “prostitute”…..oh, the stories!
I always used to tell my students’ parents I won’t believe all he tells me about your home life if you won’t believe all he tells you about school.
Funny story: a kindergartener came home and was showing mama what they had learned: “One plus one, the son of a btch is two, two plus one, the son of a btch is three” etc. The mother, alarmed and indignant, went to school to DEMAND that the teacher be fired. She confronted the teacher with what her son had said. The teacher looked perplexed, smiled, then quoted herself correctly, “One plus one, the sum of which is two. Two plus one, the sum of which is three.”
I am telling you this, Teresa, because at some point one of your children is going to come home with a story that will make you furious, until you find out what the facts really are.
And please, for your son’s sake, don’t continue taking on and on about his crying, etc. He will start to believe, from your attitude and anxiety (even if you don’t say anything directly in front of him) that starting to school is a terrible, scary thing. Be breezy and a self-assured adult, recognizing that he is competent to speak up for himself.
In a couple of weeks, ask his teacher when you might come eat with him, or when you might volunteer to read the class a story or help with an art or cooking project. I am pretty sure she will want you to wait a bit, until the class is actually “hers.” Once they have that established, an occasional visit will be welcomed. Your son will be happy to “show you around”. Leave the baby with a sitter, however, and be fully invested in the moment with him.
Just my opinion, as an experienced mother (32 years)and teacher (35 years).
By catlady
August 25, 2008 6:00 PM | Link to this
One other piece of (unsolicited) advice: don’t call or go by the school because when he left in the morning he was feeling sick. Send a note with him to give his teacher a heads up. If he needs your constant checking on him, he is too sick to be at school. Don’t worry—they will call you if he is sick and needs to go home. No teacher in her right mind keeps a sick kid at school, making herself and other kids sick, NCLB or not!
By motherjanegoose
August 25, 2008 7:05 PM | Link to this
Good points everyone, since my last post! I LOVED catlady’s story…it is priceless.
When our son was in Kindergarten, he came home with a note from his teacher saying he had had a bad day. His opinion was very aloof and my husband jumped all over it say he would call the teacher. I refused to let him as I knew there should be some explanation.
Always remember this…you DO NOT want to pi$$ off the teacher in September, as she will be pi$$ed off all year long. You need an ally in the teacher and sometimes this takes a little bit of thinking outside the box and not only about your own child! I promise you that 95% of Kinder teachers LOVE your child and want what is best…they also know more about 18 children in one room that you will ever know…it is an art and a science…sometimes a migraine and and upset stomach too! Night all!
By WannaBeMommy
September 16, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
Hi Moms out there! I’m a mom-in-the-works (we are trying), and we haven’t really gotten a final number on just HOW much raising a child will cost. We both work in good jobs, and have been saving, but my hubby and I have no idea what to expect.
I know “it’s cheaper by the dozen”, but I almost panic when I see how expensive baby, much less toddler, and (good Lord!) teenage goods are!
Just HOW much does a kid these days cost?