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Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bah-humbug to vacation with kids
Please offer tips for making vacations with young children more relaxing
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’re off to the beach this week with our three kids, and I’m just going to say what every mother knows: Taking a vacation isn’t actually that much fun for the mom — it’s just more work.
You’re basically moving your entire base of operation and your workload to a less organized, less spacious place that doesn’t have child locks on the cabinets. Plus now you’ve got sharks, sunburn and sand in the underpants complicating matters.
Call me the Vacation Grinch but between relocating all the “necessary” items and the vigilance it takes to keep small children safe in the ocean and pool, it’s just not that relaxing for me or my husband.
I’m sure packing for the beach will get easier as our kids get older, but at this point, the Romans invaded Gaul with less equipment than I’m taking for our youngest. You need the Pack ’N’ Play, the stroller, the bed rail, the diapers, the swim diapers, the plastic pants to put over the swim diapers, the chair to eat in, the toys, etc… You get the idea.
And once you finally get there, the packing isn’t over. To spend any decent amount of time on the beach, you need a cooler with ice, drinks and snacks. Plus the beach bag with five pairs of goggles, three different floats and multitudes of sand toys for digging giant holes. And if you’re feeling ambitious, you can always lug down the shade tent that takes three people to put up.
I could deal with all the prep work if once you got on the beach you got to shut your eyes and feel the breeze. But unless you’re slack or your partner agrees to be in charge, there’s no rest for the weary.
Once settled on the beach, you spend half your time chasing the kids around with white sticky hands trying to re-apply sunscreen. There’s no dozing off or reading a magazine. You have to remain eagle-eyed and often actually be in the water — not just leisurely drifting with the waves but protecting children from getting creamed by the waves. Even playing in the sand takes extra care as 1-year-olds often eat it.
Coming in from the beach only creates more work for mom. You’ve got to get them into dry clothes before they leave water or sand stains on someone else’s furniture that your rental deposit probably won’t cover.
Earlier this summer when I went to the beach with the kids and my side of the family (Michael had to work), I was literally giving six baths a day —- one for each child when they came in for lunch and one when they came back in before bed. Bending over a tub six times a day trying to get sand out of children’s hair is no vacation!
So what’s a parent to do to have a more relaxing time at the beach? We have a few ideas:
You could shirk your duty and simply not be very helpful to your spouse. We’ve both tried this on various trips but it generally just leads to fights.
You could go to an all-inclusive resort or take a cruise that offers babysitters. Besides being a little pricey, I’m afraid my kids will fall overboard.
You could try the “It Takes a Village” approach to vacationing. We tried this year to set up a vacation with three other families. Everybody would rent a condo so each family had their own space, but you would share making meals and each couple would get one or two nights off while the other families watched the kids. We thought it was a great plan but no one would commit.
The one caveat to this plan is you only want to invite families that increase your parent-to-child ratio. We have a lovely family that we all get along with but they have four kids. They actually hurt our parent-to-child ratio. Michael says they’re out.
- Your other option is to vacation with extended family —- grandparents, cousins, brothers or in-laws. This option does afford some relaxation, but the trade off is you have to play nice and sometimes compromise.
We will be spending this trip with Michael’s family in Hilton Head. We rarely get to see them so we are excited to be with his dad, stepmother and sister. We are hoping they will let us slip away to occasionally walk on the beach alone or maybe to go to a matinee of the new Batman movie while the baby takes a nap. (We haven’t told them this yet.)
I know I can’t get out of all the packing or the six baths a day, but I would love a few moments to actually relax on vacation.
Am I just being grumpy or am I right on target? Log onto ajc.com/momania to share your tips for making vacations with young children more relaxing.
