MOMania

By deidre_NC

July 21, 2008 6:10 AM | Link to this

i nursed my kids for longer than most..wont say how long cause i dont want to hear any c*ap about it lol..i heard all i wanted to when i was doing it. i hated when time came to stop-and my last one who is now 16..that was rough. i had a year and a half when it semed like all my older family members were dying. my dad-all grandparents..i was lucky to have my grandparents so long…they all lived into their 80’s…but i had to stop nursing her kind of fast cause i just could not go thru one more funeral with a nursing baby. she was a little over 2…about 3 nights after her last nursing i was rocking her while some friends played their guitars and stuff…and she started fumbling for my breast…i said something like ‘you are a big girl now remember, you dont do that anymore’ she looked up at me and said…i just wanna ook (look) at it mommy’…omg that was so sweet and i cried. it is sad to stop especially when you know its your last time. there is something so inherantly sweet and satisfying in nursing your child. i still miss that feeling sometimes. nothing like it. i always felt sorry for men cause they didnt have that..a true gift from god to be able to nurse your baby. good luck theresa…

By JJ

July 21, 2008 8:01 AM | Link to this

As much as I believe in breast feeding, I also believe that 18 months is just a bit too long to have a child suckling at your breast, especially when they are old enough to hold a bottle by themselves.
I only nursed for 6 weeks, then we did the formula route. I started solid foods with her when her back teeth started coming in, around 18 months. She used a “sippy” cup until she was two and a half.

But every mom is different. And I appreciate that.

By chocoholic

July 21, 2008 8:04 AM | Link to this

This post made my tear up. I nursed my little girl until she was a year old and weaning her was not that big of a deal because I plan to have more children. I can only imagine how hard it is when it is your “baby”, your youngest and last child. I don’t even want to think about that yet!

By FCM

July 21, 2008 8:07 AM | Link to this

I didn’t nurse. Mine were bottle babies…Although I held them for each feeding even when they held their own bottles.

It is true this phase of her life is coming to a close. However, think of all the really great things that will be opening up.

Fortunately there is more to this Mom Gig then feeding children!

By Jesse's Girl

July 21, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

I tried to nurse our first…she was very fussy about it and wasn’t being nurished enough I thought. The doc confirmed it and suggested I supplement…then she took off like kudzu! I simply didn’t like the thought of becoming sexually active again and breast feeding at the same time…yuck. So the last two were bottle babies. I pumped until I was given the OK to be intimate again and then they went to formula.

I totally get the sadness you feel about all the “last baby” stuff. I have been dealing with it with The Boy for quite a while. He’s the last one…my last baby. We still cuddle and I still lay with him until he falls asleep. He still suckles even! Its super sweet to see him hold his special blanket and make that little noise….makes me cry nearly every night! This August is so bitter sweet for me as a mommy. My first baby begins middle school and my last baby begins kingergarten. I love seeing them grow and become self sufficient. But as a mommy….becoming simply “mom” is doing a number on my heart…

By new mom

July 21, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Our daughter and I had a rough start to nursing—it took a while for my milk to fully come in, so I too had to supplement. That scared me, because I had read all of the stories about nipple confusion and didn’t want to ruin our chances of breastfeeding. However, after a week and a couple more weigh-ins with the lactation consultant, we were breastfeeding exclusively. We had our good days and bad. I didn’t like when people asked me how long I would breastfeed her, because a) It wasn’t their business, and b) I didn’t know myself! On the bad days, I would tell myself “I will breastfeed today. Not sure about tomorrow, but I will today”. That kept me from looking at the long stretch before me and getting discouraged and quitting.
At somewhere between 6 and 7 months, our baby decided to start playing games while breastfeeding. (We had introduced solids at around 5 months) Feeding became an hour long struggle for both of us—me trying to feed her, her trying to get up and look around. I was worried about her nutrition and gave her bottles, and she would gulp them down like she hadn’t eaten in days. From everything I read, it didn’t fit the description of a nursing strike or any other common issues. I told our pediatrician, and his response was ‘it sounds like she has decided to start weaning herself.’
I didn’t realize how much I would miss it until it was gone. We still cuddle a lot, but selfishly I miss a lot of the closeness. However, now I can easily kiss her and stroke her hair when she takes her bottle—it was a hard reach when she was breastfeeding! I have also noticed how much more my husband can be a part of the feedings, instead of just being a bystander.
She’s now 10 + months and just thriving, apparently doesn’t miss the breast one bit. I miss it, but I am happy that she’s healthy and happy. Not sure if we will be blessed with another at my age (36) so that’s part of my mixed emotions.

gee I wrote a novel, what a surprise! sorry….

By CP

July 21, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Every mom & child is different, just as our methods are. I do breastfeed my youngest as I nursed my older 3 as well, but I do it more for the better nutruition she gets than the “cuddle” factor. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy holding my baby and feeling her little peachfuzz of hair, seeing her big, blue eyes as she looks up at me while she’s nursing. She is soooo cute & melts my heart, just like my other babies-no-more did. But I don’t like nursing her just before she goes to sleep. She’s 4 months old (almost 5) and she eats every 3-3 1/2 hrs.: up for 1-1 1/2 hrs. (eating soon after getting up) & then sleep for 2. Not a strict schedule but it works for us & then I get to spend more time with her awake & happy since she’s full.

I had problems with my son (my first) & had to supplement with formula for about 1 month before I was able to get my supply up with a pump. I never had any other problems with my other children & they’re all healthy & happy.

This baby is my last since I had my hysterectomy. I have to admit that I’m able to enjoy the time with her a little more since I know there won’t be another baby I can enjoy like this - since she’s the 4th, that’s not such a bad thing though! :) I’ll miss nursing her but I plan on giving her the same time I gave the other 3: up to the 1st birthday & then will start to wean. I didn’t ever get that far with the others since they stopped on their own. My son quit at 10 mon., oldest daughter the week before her b-day, 2nd oldest daugh. at 10 mon. also. They just kept wanting to hop out of my lap & play. Even in the evening they didn’t want to. I do think my oldest daughter would have gone longer had I not been pregnant with #3 at the time. I’ve heard the mother being pregnant changes the taste of the milk & I’d believe it by the look on her face sometimes. lol

My favorite parts of breastfeeding has been that we hardly ever go to the doctor’s and I lose all the baby weight. Win-win.

By nurse&mother

July 21, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Theresa- I completely understand where you are coming from. I soooo loved breastfeeding my two. My daughter weaned herself when she was 10 months old (probably because I was taking antibiotics for acne). My son was completely weaned about one week shy of 18 months. I was sad, but I kept telling myself that my son was a bonus and to be thankful that I got to have my second child that I always wanted. That kept my sadness away.

FYI, my pediatrician recommended nursing until 2 years. I knew that my husband would never go for that. We started the weaning process at 13 months. I just gradually weaned.

Oh those were the days. Off to work 12 hours today. Wish I could stay and “hang out” on the blog, but need grocery money. LOL.

By Stacey

July 21, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

My son never took to breastfeeding and I felt like such a failure. He was a preemie and pumped and froze the milk for him to be fed through the feeding tube. I went to the hospital everyday and tried simulating nursing while he was being fed through the tube but he didn’t catch on. The lactation consultant said that it’s not really unusual for preemies not to take to nursing. I continued to pump and feed him by bottle but my milk dried up after a couple of months.

I know it’s not the same, but my “weening moment” came the first time he didn’t cry when left at daycare. I had to return to work when my son was 4 months old. A relative kept him at my home for the first 6 weeks that I worked but then I had to put him in daycare. He cried the first couple of weeks when I dropped him off (his teacher said he always stopped as soon as I was out of sight). By the third week he would leap for his teacher as soon as we walked through the door and grin & wave bye-bye to me. The first time it happened I sat in the parking lot a cried before I left. I called my husband wanting a shoulder to cry on but he truly didn’t get it. He told me I should be happy that he (the baby) liked his teacher and was happy at the daycare. I was glad the he was happy there but I still felt a little rejected.

By ARL

July 21, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

All of my friends breast feed and I think its fine. But when I asked them “don’t your husbands want them back???” they all responded that they saw their bodies as ‘utilitarian” and couldn’t care less about that. Also, I have seen my friends after years of breast feeding and they have to pick their breasts up off the floor to get a bra on.

For these reasons, it would not be a good choice for me. We can still have cuddle time with a bottle.

By CP

July 21, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

ARL - I hate to break it to you but nursing doesn’t cause sagging breasts. Some causes of that are age, smoking, & pregnancy. [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21599854/] [http://www.bodyandfitness.com/Information/Womenhealth/breast.htm] are a few articles but you can definitely find a bunch to the same effect.

As far as breastfeeding & sex goes, your friends probably see their breastfeeding breasts as utilitarian for a reason - because they are. And any leaks can be prevented beforehand by nursing or pumping.

Whether you chose to nurse or not is a personal decision but don’t make it on nonexistent reasons.

By Julie

July 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

CP-who told you that big lie that breast don’t sag after breatfeeding?

By First Time Mom

July 21, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

FIrst off…pregnancy make your boobs sag not breast feeding. I don’t think it helps, though! I had a 9 week preemie so I pumped and froze the first 4 weeks of his life when he was in the hospital. When he came home he took to the boob just fine. Husband was not overly supportive of nursing as he thought of the jugs as his but I made a conscious effort to still keep them available to him…he only tasted milk once and surprisingly wasn’t grossed out!

At the six month mark I just couldn’t fill his bottles with milk from pumping at work anymore so I started to supplement with formula and just nurse at night and in the morning. One night he didn’t sleep through and was very cranky so the night before was the last time we nursed. He was 8 months old. I got a little sad but I was glad that I didn’t make a big to do over it being the last time. And I hope to have more and nurse for longer with them.
I think 18 months is the perfect amount of time…good for you for making it this long!!

What a great true Momania topic! I normally lurk but this and cloth diapers are two of my most favorite topics in the world!

By CP

July 21, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Julie - Just because something has been passed on like an old wives’ tale doesn’t mean it’s true. Read the research for yourself.

By new mom

July 21, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

I think the sagging issue comes from pregnancy—and when you breastfeed, you kinda prolong the ‘life’ of your breasts. When I was breastfeeding, my breasts were really big, just as they were while I was pregnant (well, big for me, probably not for other people!) They deflated once the weaning was over, but I think that would have happened once I gave birth if had I not breastfed at all. But I’m no scientist! ;)

I just noticed the actual questions on this blog topic. It wasn’t hard at all for us to wean our baby from breast to bottle, but we are finding it VERY difficult to get her to take a sippy cup. (Apparently she should start that transition in a couple of months). We may have made a mistake by letting her “drink” water from our real cups months ago, when she was so interested in them. Now she always wants a sip of our water, but if I put it in a sippy, she laughs, bangs it around and throws it. If I try to gently show her the nozzle, she will bite it, cry, then throw the cup. Do you moms have any advice on how to help get the sippy cup to work?

I don’t know if the plastic vaulve thing that keeps it from pouring out is part of the problem. I’ve tried it without it, but then water just pours all over her. And I’ve tried putting formula in the cup too, but that seems to make no difference. Now if we take the lid off of the cup, she will try to drink from it—by lowering her head down and sticking her tongue down inside the cup. Not terribly effective….

By Leah

July 21, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

I will admit that this whole concept is so foreign and bizarre to me. I never breast-fed because I have always been on medication and just couldn’t, but, I can’t imagine feeling sad about having a child wean herself. Like I said, I never did it, but, isn’t 18 months a bit old? Can’t she talk and ask for something to drink? That is a bit creepy to me.

By Jesse's Girl

July 21, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Actually….my OB-GYN from Piedmont Hospital informed me of the exact opposite. Breast feeding does in fact contribute to saggy breasts. Your ducts are constently being filled and strecthed and then emptied. The skin of your breasts is made so that it’s elasticity is very conducive to allowing the strectching to take place. Absolutely breast feeding makes your girls sag! Especially if you were on the bigger side before hand. But it just goes with the territory….

By CP

July 21, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

I’m still considering becoming a nurse-midwife after I can get back to school so everything related to pregnancy, childbirth, & women’s health is fascinating to me.

I found a site that was informative regarding myths & misconceptions about breastfeeding. http://www.state.nj.us/health/fhs/wic/breastfeedingmyth.shtml

I do wish more people were aware of what their bodies were capable of & made for. I don’t consider myself one of “those” breastfeeding mothers who put down or think mothers that formula-feed are doing nothing short of abusing their children. But I do think a lot of women don’t realize the benefits (documented thousands of times over no less) that come with nursing your child. That said, breastfeeding doesn’t mean you’re a perfect mother & formula-feeding doesn’t mean you’re terrible, or vice-versa.

Leah -I have to say that the emotional aspect of breastfeeding is only understandable if you’ve been there yourself. But for whatever you were on medication for to prevent you from breastfeeding, I hope you are doing okay now.

By Julie

July 21, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

CP-I AM the research!LOL

By C

July 21, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Are we still propogating this foolishness about mother’s passing antibodies to their children through breast milk? Doesn’t work that way, but, of course, the Le Leche’s will tell you it does.

By Theresa

July 21, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

C — I have to respectfully disagree — mothers absolutely pass antibodies to their children through breast milk —- there is one misconception on this though that my friend and I just investigated — The antibodies don’t last a life time though — just as long as the mommy is nursing —-so i do think that is left a little bit vague — they are protected while you are nursing —

By Jesse's Girl

July 21, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Ok…wow…very relevant. I just returned from a peds appt with the kids. Now, I know that the mothers who choose to breast feed are very passionate about their choice…as are bottle moms. But this did strike me as WAY TOO DERN OLD to be doing this. This mom had 3 children all 6 and under. The 6-9 month old was still nursing….ok, fine. But so was the 4 year old!!! And she’s just a-whippin’ it out right there in front of my son; who began asking very pionted questions. He said “Mom, what is she doing?” I quietly explained that she was breast feeding…a certain way mommies work. Then he says” But mom, thats not a baby”. This child was the my son’s size and he’s 5. Ya know….I’m all for moms doing it their own way and all. But if your kid can wipe their won butt…he shouldn’t be latched onto your chest. It was slightly disturbing and more than a little off-putting. And I would be just as weirded out if the kid had a paci or bottle stuck in his mouth.

By Stacey

July 21, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

JG…I’ve also seen women breastfeeding 3 and 4 year olds but luckily my son was never with me to witness it. A couple of years ago we in the doctor’s office and my son saw a picture in a magazine of a mother nursing a newborn and was totally disgusted. When my husband told him that is how I used to feed him, (son) said “I know my Moommy did not do anything that nasty to me!” I can only imagine what he would have said had he been in your doctor’s office today!

By new mom

July 21, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

Hey JG—Rick Springfield is on Oprah (rerun) but he’s singing your song! And he just finished ‘you better love somebody’, which I sing to my daughter as ‘you better love your mommy!’ :)

By Allison

July 21, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

I have to say that after having a baby and breastfeeding him I have a totally different perspective on the whole breastfeeding thing. Before I became a mother I will admit that I thought it was so weird if anyone breastfed their children longer than around a year. I’d say that’s about the amount of time that it’s culturally acceptable to nurse a child in the US. But knowing what I know now, I’m hoping to nurse my next child for as long as he/she needs and wants to. The health and emotional benefits to the child are much more important to me than what society tells me is the right length of time to breastfeed my child.

My son self-weened at 9 months old and I was devastated. My husband and I went away and I had pumped a good amount to leave with his Grandmas to give him while we were gone but of course it wasn’t enough to sustain him the whole week. So he got formula once the breast milk was gone from the pumped supply. When I got back and tried to nurse him, he looked up at me as if to say “what is that and why in the world are you putting it in my mouth?!” I was blue, as Theresa describes, realizing that nursing was over for us. I pumped for a while and gave him breast milk for a couple more months, but it just wasn’t the same. And pumping is a pain!

By new mom

July 21, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

I have to agree with you fine ladies…4-5 years old and still breastfeeding? I certainly don’t want to be judgemental, but that would not be me. I think it would be weird to HAVE those memories as a child—don’t we all remember something about being 4-5 years old? I remember several things, but thankfully I don’t remember something like that. Sorry, but ewwwwww.

By FCM

July 21, 2008 5:13 PM | Link to this

I am not going to get into this battle to far. Like JG said we all feel passionate about our choices. However, I had tons of pressure on me to nurse….I was in the Peds crying and the doctor said “all effects of the milk itself are short term. The long term ones come from building the bond, loving the child, holding them, making them feel safe, etc”…At 9 yo my oldest will still come curl up on my lap, stick her face in my neck and just want to be rocked….Just love the babies, and don’t guilt or stress how they get the nutrients they need, just get them to them.

By Jill

July 21, 2008 5:19 PM | Link to this

A 4 year old nursing is just plain NASTY. Sorry…..

By fk

July 21, 2008 7:10 PM | Link to this

I have only one child, now 17. I breastfed him for about 5 mos. And, all that while, I supplemented one feeding per day with a formula bottle. I did not pump…too much of a hassle for me, my opinion, my choice. Yes, that time spent nursing was, indeed, special time for us. However, I did not feel sad moving on. I so enjoyed watching his daily progress. Yes, I miss the baby stuff, but I never wanted to stay put in time…until now. And, it’s not that I want to stay put, I just want to slow down so time does not pass so quickly. We have been visiting colleges.

By deidre_NC

July 21, 2008 8:00 PM | Link to this

lol..this is why i didnt say how long i breastfed any of my kids..peopel get so upset…i never4 could figure out why. its just such a personal choice. i have more issues with a mother just ‘whipping it out’ in front of everyone. there is a way to do it that isnt so obnoxious. but whether you do breastfeed or not and how long is just personal

By nurse&mother

July 22, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Deidre_NC- With my last child I discovered something called a “hooter hider”. I loved it!!! I could nurse him anywhere and many folks never even knew what I was doing. Oh I miss those days so much.

By new mom

July 22, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Did anyone else suddenly have new hair growth/new bangs when they stopped breastfeeding? I had started noticing lots of new baby hair along my hairline, but didn’t connect it until my stylist said “I see your new baby hair—did you stop breastfeeding your baby?” I was shocked that she knew that, and she said other ladies had the same thing happen.

I hate it—they are full-on bangs, and I haven’t had bangs since middle school. :( Oh well!!

By Reebee

July 30, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Am so glad to see this topic addressed with such energy - it is full of more emotions than many realize. I have five kids. The first four all weaned themselves at exactly 14 mo. The last went on until 18 mo. and I was so glad. He was a much more affectionate guy also; don’t know if the two are connected (my longer availability and his emotional confidence). Now I have baby # 6 on the way, and I am determined to safeguard my precious time with this baby and give her all the time with me she needs - up to about 2 years. :) But if she is like the others, she will know the right time and give me the signals she’s ready. I, too, appreciate being able to stay out of the doctor’s office as a result of breastfeeding - that may be why some doctor’s don’t promote the benefits as much as they could!

By Allison

August 11, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

I nursed my first baby until she was 23 months. My plan was to wean her at 12 months - but she had to have her tear ducts probed (minor surgery) - so I didn’t think that was the right time to try weaning. Next thing I know, she is 15 months, then 18 months, etc. I had a hard time getting her to transition to a sippy cup (finally discovered that Nuby sippy cups worked best since they were soft and were similar to breasts). from 18 months to 23 months I just nursed her at bedtime. During that time I thought I was ready to be done - and had read that when either you or your child is tired of it, it is time to stop. So I worked on weaning her. Even though I was ready to have my body back, it was a bit sad and bittersweet to be done with it and to have to tell her “no” when she looked at me and pleaded “nurse?” :( The AAP recommend you breastfeed for a year - and the World Health Organization recommend you do it for 2 years. I certainly believe that breastfeeding my daughther for 23 months is the reason she never got sick or had to go to the doctor other than well visits until she was 4. I now have another daughter who is 3 months old, and breastfeeding her. I will probably try to wean her around a year - but am willing to do it longer. So what if breastfeeding causes your breast to sag - the benefits definitely outweigh any cons. And also wanted to comment that breastfeeding doesn’t prevent you from having a sex life contrary to what others believe and/or have posted on this site. My husband, after seeing how beneficial breastfeeding has been for our children, strongly supports it, and isn’t “grossed out” by the seeing my body do what it was created to do. I am thankful that he isn’t one of these guys who thinks breasts were created just for men to enjoy.

By Linda

August 11, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Wow, don’t know how I managed to miss this blog — breastfeeding is very near and dear to my heart. Seeing the reactions of some I just had to share that I DID nurse my daughter for 4 1/2 years…not out in public of course. Having grown up in Europe, where it is not uncommon for mothers to nurse even longer than that, I didn’t see it as being gross or odd. Of course I heard commments like “What are you doing still nursing that rusty old child”, but I let those comments go in one ear and right back out the other. I guess the final turning point in the weaning process (and mind you we were only nursing at bedtime towards the end as my milk was on its’ last leg as it was due to the decrease of her nursing) happened when my husband and his brother took our two girls and his two girls (nieces)to Florida for Spring Break and I couldn’t go because I had just started a new job. When they came back after a week, I was completely dry and I told her the milk was all gone. At any rate, I think the length of time a mother spends nursing is and should be entirely up the them, but I would like to add that breastfed babies tend to be healthier, smarter, and more well-rounded. I do not ever regret the time I invested into nursing my little one who is now 7 1/2, and I would do it all again if I had the chance. Yes, we still snuggle a lot and I enjoy every minute of it because I know it won’t be long and she will be on her way off to college just like her older sister who will be 18 next month. Additionally, about the husband issue — my husband supported my decision to nurse extendedly and I don’t see (and he will agree with this one) where my breasts look any different than they did prior to my nursing or the pregnancy. I felt I missed out with my first one, whom I bottlefed — she and I do not share the same bond as I share with my little one.

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