MOMania

By JJ

July 16, 2008 8:11 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone.

First of all, Jeff Yes that was me you busted in the Get Schooled Blog yesterday. I got a bit fired up when someone posted the words “Saintly Single Moms”, so of course I had to chime in….thanks for not blowing my cover.

Anyway, back on topic, my daughter is a bit over weight and I am too. We could both stand to loose 10-15 lbs. She’s a somewhat active, but not as much as I would like, and that’s partly my fault. I am tired when I get home, and the thought of doing any kind of exercise just doesn’t thrill me.

However, we have two dogs, and I try to walk them at least 1 mile almost every day. It generally depends on how hot it is when I get home. If the temp is under 90, we go for a quick stroll, about 1.5 miles. But on the weekends, I get out early, 7:30 and we walk at least 3 miles. My daughter doesn’t join us, it’s too early for her. But, she will walk about 2 - 3 miles every night, when it gets dark and cooler. Our neighborhood has plenty of street lights and I know she is safe. She usually walks with a friend, and sometimes she takes one of the dogs with her. We have several work-out DVD’s and she does those on the weekends.

She has been overweight most of her life. I believe its genetic, (her father and his family are “thick”) as we eat very healthy, I don’t keep junk food in the house. When I grocery shop, 75% of my groceries are fresh fruits and veggies. I keep a fruit bowl on the dining room table, and we always have a salad with dinner. Dinner consists of usually meat, fresh veggies, and a salad. I don’t fry any food, mostly use my stove-top grill pan, or the George Foreman Grill (I have two).

During school, she packs a lunch, usually a sandwich, and a piece of fruit. We have yogurt and cereal in the mornings. Not super sweet cereal, something like raisin brand, etc……

By Nutritionist

July 16, 2008 8:30 AM | Link to this

Not super sweet cereal, something like raisin brand, etc

Read the label. Most raisin brand has as much sugar as frosted flakes or fruit loops.

By JJ

July 16, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this

Thanks Nutritionist.

By John

July 16, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

There’s nothing wrong with telling your child you want to be healthy and part of being healthy is keeping your weight and the amount of body fat you have down. Obesity is becoming the smoking of the 2000’s.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

T and I will probably differ on this. She has been overweight her entire life, and her stepmom (from her accounts) was dang near abusive about it.

I, however, really didn’t hit ‘overweight’ until college and the years since. Probably wouldn’t have then, but didn’t realize the need to exercise until it was too late, as I had never needed to before.

Part of my plan to spend my new free time that the new job gives me is to begin a fairly intensive workout program though - mostly on the Wii Fit, but I’ve got some other ideas as well.

If my kids comment on it, I aint gonna hide anything from them.

If my kids are overweight, yeah, I’ll start by actively getting them more active, and if they are such dunderheads that I need to overtly say something at some point, I will.

Better to have a CORRECT self-image than a distorted - from either form of intentions - one.

By ha

July 16, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Jeff - the wii fit is better than nothing, but i would hardly call the exercises on there ‘intensive’. if youre serious about losing weight youre going to need more cardio than digital hoola hooping for 5 minutes.

By JJ

July 16, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

When talking to my daughter about her weight, I have NEVER told her she was fat. I think that’s a horrible thing to say to a teen aged girl. Or to anyone for that matter.

I know I’m overweight, but I sure don’t need anyone to point it out to me…..

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Kids these days are generally more lazy and unmotivated than they once were. I blame this on parents who buy them video games and let them sit in front of the computer. We have never dealt with weight issues….I could certainly stand to tone up, but I do love my curves! It helps that I don’t eat meat. Our children see me make healthy choices with food and it really has an affect. Our kids cheer and play soccer…so they are no strangers to sweating! Thats another problem….kids don’t sweat enough! However…if we did encounter weight issues with our children…it would be handled with care. Most especially for my daughters. I am very passionate about healthy body image in our home. “Skinny” is not a word we use…nor is “diet”. I realize that some people are predisposed to be bigger than others….but I also think it is a crutch for many. Being unhealthy is not genetic.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

ha:

As bad a shape as I am in right now, even the Wii Fit can be fairly intensive.

But then, I’m talking more about the yoga/strength training modes moreso than the balance modes such as the hula/tight rope walking.

Even the 1p run in the aerobic mode has been known to get my heart rate up to acceptable levels to qualify as genuine exercise.

Way I figure it, once I get solid on Wii Fit, I can start going to one of the gyms not too far from my new office.

By John

July 16, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Would you all be so nice to a hacking smoker has not to tell them it’s their smoking habit that makes them cough the way they do? It’s the same with almost all fat people. They’ll tell you their size has nothing to do with their unhealthy diets and lack of exersize, but we all know the truth.

By positive self image mom

July 16, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

I have to say that I kind of agree with the mom that scolded you. I have a 4 year old daughter and I’m very aware of what I say about my body around her. Yes, I would like to lose weight (10-15 lbs after 2 kids); No, I don’t discuss it around her b/c I want to promote a positive body image (the word fat is never used in her earshot - about me or anyone else). What we do discuss is the importance of exercising/being active (which is why she isn’t allowed to watch too much t.v.) and the importance of not eating a lot of sugary foods/candy. She’s a very healthy, active little girl but her grandmother and aunt (my husband’s mother and sister) are both size 0-2. They barely eat and exercise religiously. Clearly, my sister-in-law was heavily influenced by her mother — so much so that she won’t ever take a bite of a donut and only buys fat-free and/or sugar free products just like her mom (while running 10 miles a day)! Which proves to me how much a mother’s self image and own habits can influence a child, particularly a girl. Anyway, I’m afraid of her thinking that is the norm, so I make sure she is exposed to lots of healthy, fresh foods and lots of different kinds of foods. With all the other outside influencers she will be exposed to in her childhood/adolescence, I want to at least try to be a positive influence.

By Becky

July 16, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

ha, I have a friend who lost about 40 pounds on the wii dancing game..So as Jeff said, it can work for some people..

By janis stevenson

July 16, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

My 6 year old already has formulated opinions about fat and skinny despite the fact that it is not discussed in our house at all. I am overweight due to a number of factors and when my girls tell me they like my tummy cuz it looks like I am going to have another baby, I am not offended. My daughter did me she thought I was trying to lose weight. when i asked where she heard that from, she said no one, she just figured it out. I try to stress to my kids that everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and the important thing is to be healthy. there are plenty of unhealthy skinny folks and plenty of heavy folks that are in far better shape. (I do realize that weight brings its own health related issues). our bodies are partly genetic, and partly our own doing. we all have to find our happy place and not stress weight and size and body image esp to our children. my kids eat healthy and make good choices. they are active. I am not going to make them clean their plate like I had to (explains my overeating) and I dont mind if they eat a quart of blueberries or just broccoli for dinner. because it’s not b

By CP

July 16, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

My kids are pretty young & active; my son always measures average at his checkups while my older daughters measure on the taller side and are naturally slim. The baby is still too young to tell what her growth pattern will tend to be. I really don’t think I’ll ever have to have the discussion with them about their weight but I try to emphasize eating healthy now.

One thing I’ve noticed in children that are overweight isn’t really what they eat but what they drink. Lots of Coke or KoolAid - tons of sugary stuff. My kids get milk, limited juice, and as much water as they want. And no, I don’t force it on them. My 4yr. old daughter says, “water always works!”

I do allow sweets now & then. I’m trying to show them that you can have everything but just keep it in moderation. And dessert only happens if they finish every bite of dinner.

By Numbers Guy

July 16, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

I’ve fought with my weight all my life. Outside of a few years in my 20’s, I’ve always been too heavy. I won’t comment on the spouse’s weight (I would really like to continue my oxygen habit), but I think she has the same memories.

The offspring so far has been completely healthy in this area. I don’t think he’ll battle what I have, but we’re both concerned that he may be like his uncle, who was fit through college and then sorta ballooned.

In any case, maintaining a proper weight is never a given and requires work for most of us. What you seem to be saying to your kids here is that if you see something about yourself that you don’t like, put in the effort to fix it. Nothing wrong with that lesson.

By jct

July 16, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

You can get a pretty decent workout with a Wii. I Box standing up 30 minutes per day. I lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks.

I took boxing in a gym so I use those same techniques with the Wii. It’s all in how you choose to use your Wii.

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

My daughter is 13 and obese. I have tried everything to encourage her to exercise and she resists. I could lose 20 pounds so I hit the gym every morning and go walking at night. I beg her to go with me, bribe her, do anything and everything to encourage her. She cries about how she looks in a bathing suit, but won’t put the effort into looking and feeling different. I tell her that she’s beautiful, but she is an unhealthy weight. Also, I try not to harp too much on my weight-loss efforts or her weight. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Any suggestions?

p.s.: there is no junk food in the house, but she gets up late at night to sneak food.

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

To be honest….I am sick to death of hearing the thyroid explanation. It cannot be that millions of thyroids everywhere are uniting to wreak havoc! I have several friends…some very over weight and some not-so-much…that blame their thyroids. I know when I have gained weight sans pregnancy, its because I was eating too dern much!

Totally off topic….but Jeff…remember when people were submitting photos of their dads to AJC for Father’s Day? I was looking through to see my neighbor who’s mug was submitted and saw a “Jeff” standing with his dad and a glowing bride named “Terry”. Was that you and your’s perhaps? It struck me as you for some reason.

By Beck

July 16, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Jeff,

This quote from above “but didn’t realize the need to exercise until it was too late” makes me concerned for you. It is never too late to start exercising. There are so many little things that you can do to incorporate a little more exercise into your routine. The more you do, the more you can do and the better you’ll feel (it really does give you tons of energy).

I’m not saying jump in with both feet all willy-nilly :) but with a doctor’s clearance by all means start with walking and other light activities. Water aerobics is an excellent activity if you tend to overheat, it burns tons of calories, tones and is very easy on this joints. It also helps with edema (swelling) if there are other underlying health issues.

Jeff, I applaud your decision to become active, you will definitely be a happy(ier) person for it.

By CP

July 16, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

I agree with Janis that telling (or guilting) a child into clearing their plates just for the sake of finishing everything isn’t healthy. If you’re full, why continue to eat? The way I do meals at home is you don’t have to finish your meal but you will not get dessert if you don’t finish - & dessert is only once a day.

By Beck

July 16, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

John, I’m not defending unhealthy eating. Some people were raised with more knowledge about what to and what not to eat than others and the others need to seek out that information as adults.

However, you have to eat, you don’t have to smoke.

I would hope most of us would take that into account.

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl, I had to laugh at your comment. So true!!! I, too, used the thyroid excuse until I actually tried eating less and getting up off the couch. Oh, and don’t forget the “hypoglycemic” thing. Most of us who are overweight and claim that one are just freaking out because hunger pangs are so unfamiliar that we freak out and think we’re going into diabetic comas. No, hand to God, I really had myself convinced on this one. Then my uncle, a recovering addict, told me that when he counsels other addicts he tells them that they are not going to die if they stop drugs, it just feels that way. I applied that to eating and realized that I really do panic when I feel hungry. I didn’t realize that the hunger pang is a good thing: it let’s you know it’s time to refuel…in moderation.

By Dietitian

July 16, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Hello! I am a Registered Dietitian and working on my masters in Youth Development. It is essential that you do NOT make negative comments about yourself in front of your child. If they look like you and you say’ I have fat thighs’ then they will start to believe that about themselves, cause they look like you and you dont like yourself. It is important to NOT “diet” and teach and practice healthy lifestyle habits through healthy eating and being active. A positive body image starts at home, so even if you dont like parts of your body, dont say it in front of your child, you can be honest about health, etc. but skinny does not equal healthy, so even if they are bigger, they can still be healthy. Healthy comes in all different shapes, sizes and colors.

By Numbers Guy

July 16, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

How do you go about doing something willy-nilly? I have this vague impression that it involves goofiness with arms and legs, but I could be very wrong.

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Peachykeen…get her to a doc now! At 13, she is already dealing with hormones and social issues that even the most fit of girls will struggle with. Add obesity to this equation…and depression will most certainly be encountered. She has to understand that if she dislikes her weigth and wishes to be more healthy…she has to take an active role! There is no pill that will make it better. She has to get active or her weight will continue to balloon. I know you know all of this….but have you taken it for granted perhaps that she knows this?

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

I tell my daughter to throw the food away if she is full. Don’t just finish something to keep from wasting it. I also encourage her to only share out a small portion, then go back if she is still hungry. I hate to throw away food, but I remember my parents (immigrants) making me eat every last drop. It took years for me to stop loading the plate and eating like it was my last meal. But I also figured out that I need to share out my daughter’s meal until she learns to serve herself smaller portions.

By Dietitian

July 16, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

A couple more comments: giving dessert as a reward for eating dinner is not a good habit to create. Dessert can be enjoyed at times as a normal part of life, fruit can be dessert as well. Giving food for reward in any situation can lead to emotional eating. “If I do this,,,,I can eat this…..” Find NON-food rewards. And always give choices…broccoli or carrots, they get a choice, but still getting veggies, etc. Dont restrict or force too much with anything. allow choices and moderation.

By CP

July 16, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

@ peachykeen:

It sounds like it might be more than just food or diet with your daughter. Just reading your post, it seemed that your daughter is now a teenager who is becoming more independent and food is one thing she has control over.

I’m not trying to imply that you’re a controlling person or a domineering mother or anything of the sort. Just that there may be more to it.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

JG:

Not the one you’re thinking of, though there ARE pics of both myself with my dad and T with her dad in one of the first galleries from Father’s Day. (Thanks for pointing it out though, as I never knew they went through until I went through all the galleries hunting!)

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

We’ve been to a pediatrician, psychologist, etc., and she is just determined not to exercise until she’s good and ready (not sure when that will be). She has begged me to let her friend come over and the friend loves to swim. So I leave during my lunch break to pick up her friend and take her over to my complex. My neighbor watches them when they go swimming. It’s the only way I know to sneak exercise into her day. I also encouraged her to ask our neighbors if she can walk their dogs for a couple of bucks a week. Also, her father’s two sisters are a good 350 pounds each! My daughter looks just like them, is built like them, etc. I talk to her about their unhealthy choices and how it has affected their health. I also explain to her that it’s easier to build healthy habits now than to try to lose 200 pounds later. (one of her aunts has to sleep sitting up in a chair because she can’t breathe when she lies down). All the docs have said my kid is healthy and just being rebellious. It breaks my heart because I don’t want her to develop high blood pressure and diabetes. I have never allowed video games in the house, but I might just give the Wii thing a try.

By Liz

July 16, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

LOL, when my stepdaughter asked why I wasn’t having any ice cream with my burger at Sonic I told her I was watching what I was eating so I could lose weight. She said “Pfft, you’re skinny like a stick and you look like a high schooler.”

I’m not, but that was sweet of her :-)

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

First I will say I could loose some weight too. My kids are both thin.

Maybe I am the only one here thinking about this but, have any of you taught your children how rude and hurtful it is to point out flaws in others appearances especially weight.
Let me just say to all of you fretting over your childrens wieght, they can always loose weight but those hurtful words last forever.
Theresa perhaps, in addition to teaching Rose about healthy living you might teach her about compassion too.
I have trained my children from a very young age that we do not comment on anothers appearnce in the negative ever.

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

CP, agree with your comment. So what do I do? Just leave it alone and hope she decides one day that exercise is not a bad thing? Any other suggestions? Because my way is clearly not working.

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

These were 2 seperate photos Jeff…something told me it was you.

By jct

July 16, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

I came from a ‘clean your plate’ family. I have struggled for years with my weight. I worked with a nutrionist who asked me to bring in a dinner plate and a salad plate from my dishes. After I kept a food diary she found it was not what I was eating but portions. The deal was that I eat off the salad plate. (All my dishes are oversized.) This has helped a lot. It is easier for portion control and I don’t think that I am eating less because the plate is full. The mind trick works for me. I started feeding my family off the salad plates. I want my son to learn proper portions. Of course, he has seconds but he is tall and lean.

By CP

July 16, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but laugh reading A. Nony Mouse’s comment about rude comments. We do the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything” at home but sometimes kids just say the darnest things. My mother relayed this to me after my oldest 3 spend the weekend with her.

My mother was getting dressed & since my kids are still young & don’t care, she let the girls in her room while she was in her underwear. My mother is on the very large side & my 5 yr. old daughter saw her she said, “Grandma, you have a big belly. But that’s okay because it goes with your big butt.” My mother died laughing & had to call me to tell me about it.

By JJ

July 16, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

How many of you on this blog, eat out at restaurants more than two times a week? How many of us eat fast food?

My daughter and I went out last night to O’Charleys. I am appalled at how much food they put on your plate. There was no way I could have sat and ate and entire plate of the 1/2 portion of baby back ribs, and smashed potatos. I did eat all the “fresh” brocolli. This is why we do not go out often. I ended up taking 1/2 of my order home with me, and that will be tonight’s meal. (Daughter will be out tonight, I will be dining alone).

I think alot of people have issues with weight, especially with the kids, by eating “on the run”. I know alot of us are very busy, but I much prefer to cook at home. I can control portions, etc. Have you ever seen the “nutrition” value of a Big Mac? It will turn your stomach…..

I have a friend who has horrible eating habits, and is passing them down to her kids. This woman will hit three drive throughs for one meal. French fries here, salad here, and milk shake here. She NEVER cooks at home, and constantly complains about how fat she and her kids are, and cannot figure out what the problem is. I have pointed this out to her numerous times (we are very close), but she just doesn’t hear me.

They will be in a restaurant ordering dinner, and critizing the kids for what they order. Then insists they drink diet drinks, as opposed to water.

She will say to the kid, if you order that hamburger, you will do 2 miles on the treadmill tonight. Then they go get ice cream for dessert……

By Beck

July 16, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Numbers guy,

By new mom

July 16, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

I would like to second what a. nony mouse said about hurtful words. I remember, as a little skinny girl, hearing both my parents make derogatory comments about ‘fat’ people, that they were lazy, slobs, etc. I remember jokes about people on tv (the ‘too many twinkies’ line from the movie classic flight of the navigator was used a lot) but also hearing how family members ‘used to be so pretty…..’ implying that they were no longer so, with their extra weight.

I am in NO way denying that being overweight is a serious issue and can lead to health problems. I have 10 baby pounds I’d love to shed, and I’m working on it. However, those fat jokes stuck with me to this day. I remember saying ‘what if I got fat’ and my dad saying ‘you will never be fat’. Well, I knew better, that people change, and I was scared to gain too much weight or appear fat in front of my family.

I’m sure they didn’t mean any of the jokes they made to harm anyone, they each learned it from their own families. But what we say and how we joke around teaches our children about what we value, and how to treat others.

I am going to try to teach our daughter that everyone is valuable, special, and unique in their own way. We should all strive to be healthy and active. However, I think it’s even more important to develop the inner character to encourage others, and not put anyone down (even yourself!) :)

By CP

July 16, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

And I had a talk with my daughter about how it could hurt someone’s feelings to say something about another’s appearance.

peachykeen: I’ve not tried the Wii fit (we’re not big into video games here either) but my brother has a Wii system that I’ve played once before that was sports. I was sore the next day so I know it gets you moving. Maybe if you could get your daughter something like that that you both could do together. Or maybe her friend could do it with her.

Being that school’s starting back soon (thank you, God!!!!) is there any activity she could get involved in with that? Not neccessarily sports but something that will occupy her after school.

But even if she doesn’t want to change anything, I’d still continue to stress the importance of being healthy over being thin.

By John

July 16, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

The portions of food served at resturants is ridiculous. My wife and I went to Red Lobster a few months ago and one plate of food was more than enough for both of us. Resturants seem to think everyone is an oversized glutton these days.

By MOT

July 16, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

I have birthed 10 kids. 7 boys, 3 girls. Most of the boys are tall and thin, three are shorter, and fuller. The girls are thicker, taking after the girls in my husbands family. So they have to work at staying fit. The older two who have had kids, have done a great job at regaining their healthier sizes. The youngest of all 10 is a girl, 14, and just starting to put on a little extra padding, though she also grew an inch this past year (she is now at 5’7”), and she frequently walks with me or swims with her sister. I noticed she could lay off the sweets and walk more, and I encourage her to walk with me, but it was time for her physical, and the female dr. charted her growth and wt. on the little chart and showed my daughter where her BMI was and how it was right on the border. The dr. telling her what she needed to do was a big help. This youngest LOVES getting all aspects of her life organized and feeling she is on top of things, so she promptly came home and made her some charts and has been living by those charts getting to check off her increased activities, eating better foods, etc.

So I would recommend the following:

1-NO negative comments about anyone in front of kids—-and not even to yourself-negative talk is self defeating.

2-If there is a weight problem either direction or a fitness problem allow the family dr. to help talk about it.

3-Appeal to the things that motivates the child/person—the organizational side of my child, or perhaps those that are goal oriented like to see their progress and get the non-food rewards.

4-Get the family on board for everyone’s sake with better eating habits and getting the junk out of the house. This is probably the hardest for us because my husband was raised in a home that kept a floor to ceiling wall to wall of cabinets full of junk food. (And note his dad is type II diabetic, CHF, can only sit in his recliner on O2 day in and day out,etc, his mom is not well, both are same age as mine who hike and are vital and active in their mid-70’s). Trying to get him to quit the evening sweet snacking drunk with a qt of milk, and followed with something salty that he has done for the 50+ years of his life has been impossible, but now that it involves his teen daughter I think he is making a better effort than ever before.

The disgusting thing is that he is only a tad overweight, NO blood pressure problems, perfectly healthy. While I, who have been walking for 10 years, eat oatmeal only with raisins and skim milk everyday and whole grains and eating sweets I do not do…I am the one with the blood pressure trouble and high choloesterol—being native american adds that genetic component. My mom eats like a rabbit and is on two cholesterol meds and bp meds!!!

But we keep working and fighting it. I hope those of you who have overweight kids will be able to put together a plan that is right for that child and help them find healthy success.

By new mom

July 16, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

If you’re going to go about something willy-nilly, you had better not dilly-dally.

By JJ

July 16, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

peachykeen Do you cook for your daughter? Try smaller portions, smaller plates, and smaller silverware. That has helped me out tremendously. My daughter instintively reaches for the “salad” sized plates at our house. And, when I cook like a steak or a chicken breast we split it. It’s just the two of us, so I can buy the smaller cans of veggies and we split them too. If I buy bigger packages I freeze stuff in smaller packages. I wish grocery stores would stock “individual” sized things……

Also, take her to the Mall. Just getting up and walking around. You don’t have to buy anything, but actually getting up and walking around will do some good.

Teenagers are very stubborn.

Also, as much as I hate to suggest this, have you tried bribing her to exercise? Or using money as an incentive? Do you have a scale in your home? How is her blood pressure?

How about dance lessons? Hip Hop has some great moves…..

Wii is a great game to get kids off the sofa. I love the Dance pads. Me and some friends did it one night and I sweated my butt off. But oh my gosh we had a blast.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

new mom:

You sound like T with that last sentence.

I am much more pragmatic. I don’t mind putting people down - with reason.

If you’re calling a 5’0”, 80 lb girl fat, YOU’VE got issues.

If you’re calling a 5’0”, 280 lb girl fat, you’re stating the obvious.

No reason for the first one, and I would punish my kid if they did that.

I see nothing wrong with the second one.

Then again, I’m one of these people whose biggest motivation is often to prove someone else wrong, particularly when it comes to statements they have made about me.

By new mom

July 16, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Jeff, I understand where you are going—you are all about being honest and calling something as you see it. I think that’s good, but where I differ is that I think treating people with kindness is even more important. Perhaps calling a 5’0” 280 lb girl fat is stating the obvious, but is it helpful? Is it kind? Or could you be more help by encouraging her to choose healthy foods, getting active, and making sure she knows she’s loved for who she is? I have heard people who have lost lots of weight say things like ‘when I was bigger, I knew people liked me for me, now do they like me for me, or my new body?’

I think the difference between our approaches is truth, vs. truth with love.

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

My Mom was obsessive about food. She stood over me a screamed at me till all the food was gone. having a meal with my family was literally a living hell. To this day I have serious issues with food, including the overwhelming desire to eat every meal alone.
As I said I could loose some pounds but I do not dwell on it. I am 5’10” and a size 12. I’m the size of the average woman in America. I think the only reason I am not morbidly obese is that I was very rebellious as a young child and promised myself I would never eat anything I neither wanted nor cared for.
PeachyKeen, I hope things get better for your daughter.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

new mom:

There again, I see blunt honesty as the kinder approach. If you try to be nice, you will overly inflate their self esteem when it needs to be DEflated in order to allow them to hit rock bottom, which is where true change begins.

Blunt honesty forces them to either ignore you or deal with what you have pointed out. Their choice either way, but at least if they choose to deal with whatever you have pointed out they are on the road to recovery.

One can never know the true majesty of mountain peaks without first knowing the utter depth of the valleys. <- An EXTREMELY valuable lesson for kids to learn as early in life as possible, particularly with good parents who can then work to put them on the path back up the mountain.

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Jeff just wait till your kid comes home crying because some jerk has been brutally honest about some aspect of their appearance. Only then will you get it.

By Good Grief

July 16, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

I believe in calling a spade a spade. If you are fat, then you are fat. Why do we have to step on eggshells these days? Oh, that’s right, we don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt. Everybody’s a winner and everybody’s special. No one is better than anyone else. Good grief! The problem is there is no longer any shame anymore. That is why fat women and men walk around in tight clothing and don’t think a thing about it. There is no incentive to succeed or better yourself anymore because if work, school or whatever doesn’t accommodate little Suzy or Johnny then mommy and/or daddy will step in and raise holy hell until they do. We are raising a bunch of lazy, spoiled whiners. If people were more like parents instead of friends to their children, the world would be a much better place.

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Good Grief and Jeff! There is a difference between stating the obvious and being cruel. Kids do not know the difference. I mean the color of the a persons skin is obvious and we don’t go there. Why then is it okay to torment the fat kid. Oh yeah! They dont fit the image set up for us by the print media.

By new mom

July 16, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Yes sir, Drill Sargeant Jeff, Sir!

I think we will need to agree to disagree on this one. Coming from a female perspective, I know how harmful fat jokes and comments can be—on a girl who was at times too skinny! I hate to imagine how difficult it is for an overweight child to deal with the issues that go along with it, then have a grown man call them fat, just to deflate their self esteem even further. I would guess that many are already at ‘rock bottom’ and don’t need the added “help”.

I think this is the parent’s role to help their child deal with obesity, by riding the house of junk food, getting active with them, cooking healthy foods (as JJ suggested) and helping them have some identity beyond being the ‘fat kid’. But I don’t think outsiders trying to deflate their self esteems does any good…

Getting back to the original blog topic, I still think it’s important for kids (especially young girls) to not hear their mommies put themselves down. That’s where we learn that ugly habit…”my thighs are too wide, my tummy is too big” Self destructive words that eat away at our very souls. Here’s an article I would encourage all moms to read (you can read it too, Jeff, for a look inside the female brain) http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/raisingkids/articleoprah.aspx?cp-documentid=5980998&page=2

By brutally honest

July 16, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

jeff, in the name of brutal honesty, i saw your previously mentioned picture and it fit perfectly with the mental picture i had of you from reading your moronic postings. i was only surprised no one was dressed as a vulcan or storm trooper.

By DB

July 16, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

You know, growing up, I was taught that it was extremely bad manners to EVER comment on ANYONE’S appearance — unless it was something that could easily be remedied, such as a piece of toilet paper stuck to a shoe. Something along the lines of “if you can’t say anything nice …” I think that also carries over to our dealings with people that we profess to care for the most — why offer them anything less than the basic good manners that we would offer to anyone else in the world?

I think it makes a difference on the age of your child, whether or not this is something that you discuss with them. When they are young identify with you the most — perhaps not. I think an earlier poster had a good point, you don’t want them to compare their thighs to yours and judge themselves accordingly. When they are older and have more a sense of their own self, and have begun to take responsibility for their own actions — then yes. My 17 year old daughter is FAR more disciplined with regards to exercise and laying off the sodas than I EVER was. She has seen me struggle with my weight, and I think seeing that struggle has illuminated some basic principles. She deals with stress via exercise — I deal with it via the pantry. Personally, I think her way is healthier :-)

Kids KNOW if they weigh more than they should. Their peers are more than happy to sneer at them, behind their backs and even to their face — they don’t need their parents to join in. They need their parents to help support them in making good food choices (and quietly eliminating bad ones around the house) and encouraging exercise (i.e., limiting the PlayStation and computer time). Interestingly enough, my son lost 30 lbs. his first year in college — he discovered the fitness center and weight room across the street from his dorm. As he put it, “you have to pay for pizza one way or another…”

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

A Nony Mouse and new mom:

So you got picked on in school.

Big whoop.

Guess what? EVERYBODY did at some point.

I’ve told my own horror stories here of being picked on so bad I LITERALLY had to run the quarter mile from my bus stop to my trailer as fast as possible and lock both doors, just to avoid being beat up every day because I was smarter than all the other kids.

I’ve got even worse stories from my MS/HS years.

Childhood is not SUPPOSED to be ‘easy’. It is supposed to be training in somewhat-controlled situations for adult life.

And guess what? Even as adults, while people may not say things directly to your face, they WILL say them as soon as you leave the room!

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Jeff….look at it this way. Are you brutally honest with your wife? Because I gotta tell ya….going on the notion that she is the one in the pic I saw…she’s obese. Would she feel hurt and angry…would you…if someone said that to her? Practice thoughtful consideration with your children, or whomever, regarding sensitive issues. If you still feel the need for brutal honesty…save it for when your kids think they can sing and want to audition for American Idol. This country needs more brutally honest parents for those children:)

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

See….I simply don’t subscribe to that schhol of thought. I may gripe about this/that/or the other to my husband…thats part of married life. But I say what needs to be said to people’s faces. Its about respect. If I have a beef or an opinion to share, its said in person. And I disagree also Jeff, with your assessment of childhood. Yes, it is supposed to be a learning experience to ready us for life as adults. But it isn’t suposed to be difficult. It doesn’t have to be. If more parents would teach their kids manners…then we wouldn’t have the need for a conversation about brutally honest vs thoughtful consideration.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

JG:

Actually, I HAVE pointed it out to her on quite a few occassions.

Of course, I haven’t been mean about it either, and maybe I should have clarified that earlier. One CAN be brutally honest WITHOUT being mean about it.

BTW: I don’t look it even in street clothes - REALLY didn’t look it in that tux - but I am also obese. Therefore the reason I plan to use some of my newly freed up time for exercise!

By new mom

July 16, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Jeff, actually I wasn’t picked on very much. I haven’t ever been fat/obese/overweight, but I have known people who have had their hearts nearly broken over things that cruel people said to them. And I have tried to not be one of those cruel people.

Maybe the difference is that some people are respectful of others and don’t want to hurt them further, and others take pleasure in hurting them, as long as it’s the ‘truth’.
And the adults I CHOOSE to be around don’t put people down even if they have left the room, that is rude.

I hope our paths never cross, you are beginning to sound like someone who enjoys getting back at people by putting them down, instead of raising them up. The adults that I know who were picked on in school can be some of the meanest adults I have met—cause now they can seek their revenge!

By JJ

July 16, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

AND may I add, that you NEVER know the person’s situation.

By jct

July 16, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

Jeff,

Definition of Brutal - ‘characteristic of or befitting a brute; cruel’ (american heritage dictionary).

You therefore can not be brutal and kind at the same time.

I am honest with my child and spouse but I will not be mean about it.

It’s about manners. Manners get a bad rap because manners have been used to be nice to a persons face and brutal behind the back. Those are not true manners.

My spouse and I have gained weight since getting together. Instead of focusing on that, I focus on giving complements when an outfits looks good, hair cuts, etc. I focus on the positive and look to cook healthier meals.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

new mom:

Our differences basically come down to this:

Evidently, you’ve RARELY known the darker side of life, if at all. Therefore, most things to you are rosy or at least adequately bright.

Me, I’ve known all too well the darkest of nights. But I’ve also seen the brightest of days. So I mold myself as a gatekeeper. One that helps people in the darkness find the light, but also one that keeps the darkness out of the daylight. Because of this, my view of both dark and light is different than the vast majority of people.

A great illustration is this poem by Samuel Shoemaker, I Stand by the Door

By Theresa

July 16, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Hey Guys — An editor just sent me this related story about kids and exercise — check it out — I hope I linked it up right here — [Kids become less active as they grow older.Activity drops between ages 9 and 15; weekends are the worst] (www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2008/07/16/kid_fitness.html)

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Jeff, fat people don’t need to be told they’re obese. They’re fat, not blind…they have mirrors and they know exactly what they look like. It is unnecessary to tell someone how they look (unless they ask). That being said, I think we are too sensitive to our kids’ self esteem. I’m not saying be cruel, but I do think it’s okay to be honest. CP, I do cook every day. My daughter wants to be a vegetarian because she loves animals. But I had to explain to her that not eating meat doesn’t automatically make you healthier—you can be an obese vegetarian if all you eat are Cheetos and heaping plates of pasta. We eat on salad plates, I make sure I add tofu and beans and other good sources of protein. We are black-hispanic and rice and beans are a staple in our diet. So she gets up in the middle of the night to warm up a big ol’ plate it. She tells me I’m being mean by limiting her portions so she revels in the fact that I sleep like the dead and don’t realize she’s eating another meal until the next morning. We will never be skinny: we are built low to the ground for hurricane season. But I sure don’t want her to look like a Oompa Loompa (no, I don’t tell her that!).

By new mom

July 16, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Jeff, I’m guessing you have forgotten that in my previous posts I have written about dealing with infertility for eight long horrible years, and not wishing that on my worst enemy. (and I also remember encouraging you and T not to give up on having your own child, and for you to encourage her through it)

For me, those dark nights/days/years have given me an intense appreciation of everything and everyone in my life, and a sincere thankfulness to God for it all. And I guess it’s through that appreciation that my ‘rosy’ outlook has developed. Everyone has things they deal with, and we all have the choice to let them destroy us, or to allow them to make us better and stronger.

Have a great day everyone! :)

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

Jeff Yeah there was some stuff in my childhood.
I was never over wieght as a child but, my heart really hurt for the ones who were.
I grew up in a really tough area and everybody was a target of some sort. It was a fact of life.
NO ONE needs you to point out some flaw they have been looking at in the mirror all of their life.
If you do this with your family esspecially your children exactly where do you expect them to find a safe welcoming loving environment? Trust me they will find one even if it is not at home or safe.
Normally I don’t have issues with most of the things you say in this forum but, today I guess your true self came through. Wait till you have children and you cannot make things better no matter how much you try or how much you want to and then talk to us.

By Beck

July 16, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Peachykeen - I couldn’t agree more about your outlook in the 1:03 post.

Jeff - I think the most polite and neutral thing I can offer is a quote from Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins—endorphins make people happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands… they just don’t”

Jeff, have some exercise, please :)

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

Love ya Beck!

By new mom

July 16, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Beck—awesome reference! :D

By FCM

July 16, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

UM….I am F-A-T. If your tummy can hang over your belt your not ‘thick’ or ‘plump’ your fat.

However, I used to be ‘skinny’….starving people in 3rd world countries would have sent me their dinner!

I heard for so long that I was just like my father’s side…that I had to watch it or I would be fat. Self predicting? No.

When I had the babies (a long time ago)….I took most of the weight off right away. Part of this may be because of the post-partum meds I had…they killed the appitite along with the anxiety.

Off the meds, marriage falling apart, becoming a single mom, work, bills, ailing family (parents and extended), crazy daycare people (don’t get me started), demanding job, getting a career started, losing a job….well anyway along the “rollercoaster’ we call life my weight has yo-yo’d more times then I can count. One guy said he could date me, but only if we never saw his friends…he had this image and they would never understand how he could date a ‘fat chick’ while being so ‘fit’ (and he was, most of the men in my life have been model gorgeous and ‘fit’). WTH?

My Mom thinks its ok to tell me I am fat. She says “we are going to lose weight because we’re fat.’ I think **yeah, I eat a healthier diet than you. Smaller portions blah,blah (treadmill too) and still put ON weight.” It is about stress, about control, and about a host of other things that very deep seated in the genes, environment, psyche, social settings—most ‘heavy’ people flock to other ‘heavy’ people…..There are no easy answers.

Do my kids know I am working on my health? You bet, they know I am not happy about my tummy, and that I am working very hard at taking care of that issue. That is why we don’t buy ‘junk’, we don’t eat ‘sugar’, and we drink lots of water.

Ok show of hands: How many people went to look for Jeff and T in the photos????

N & M: Job goes well thank you. I really like what I do. The comment the other day was to the post you had about having to pay bills after he spent his pay in a bar….it was contributing rather than saying you were living that life….I did live it. It bit.

By Beck

July 16, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Well thank you Ms. Mouse, I enjoyed your posts as well ;)

By Sabby

July 16, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

I think it’s a MISTAKE to focus any attention on weight.

I think the focus should be on health.

And, in order to achieve better health we should discuss what makes us health. It’s not our weight. It’s our lifestyle - diet and exercise.

See, people DO come in all shapes and sizes. And I don’t mean fatness vs thinness.

I am female, 5’4”, and weight 160lbs. That puts my BMI in the “Overweight” category.

However, I jog 3 miles every other day. I ride my bike to work every day (10 miles round trip).

My resting heart rate is 52. My blood pressure is 80/60.

I am VERY fit. But I am big. Thick. A hoss.

I can probably take you AND your brother in a back-alley fight. ;)

And I wear a size 10.

But what I love is how fit and strong I am. I never get winded. I never feel like my legs are made of lead and my lungs are going to explode. If I get my heart rate up during exercise I love how it comes back down real fast.

THAT is what we should be talking about in front of our kids.

If you keep yourself fit like I do then WHO the frick cares how much you weigh?!?! It’s completely irrelevant.

By CP

July 16, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

peachykeen: I liked your last post. “low to the ground for hurricane season” Ha ha!! Too funny. Just a thought but if she’s wanting something to snack on at night, would she be satisfied with something like a fruit bar? You know the popsicle things made of fruit juice, often low-calorie. The body uses more energy digesting something cold too.

As far as the back-n-forth about saying mean things… Just think how you yourself would take the same comment you are wanting to tell someone else. Personally, I believe in God, heaven & hell, Jesus Christ, the whole nine. That doesn’t make me think I’m better or that I don’t make mistakes, often on a daily basis. But what it does do is put things into perspective for me, especially how I relate to other people. I think it’s important to remember the “golden rule:” Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

By A. Nony Mouse

July 16, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Nony has her hand way up. LOL

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

Built low to the ground for hurricane season…..Oh my goodness! YOu guys don’t make me snort-laugh very often…but that one did it! Boy…I sure am glad I don’t post my pics on AJC!!! Everyone would be snort-laughin’!

By Georgia Girl

July 16, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

*FCM-HA! I totally did went searching for Jeff and T. Just had to know. :)

*New Mom-I’ve been lurking on this blog for a while, but I’ve really enjoyed your comments here lately. You seem to have a very positive, appreciative outlook on life, and a very quick wit too! Please keep sharing your thoughts-I’ve really enjoyed reading them.

And I’ve gotta say, it’s always driven me crazy when people use “honesty” as an excuse for rudeness. I look at things more from a helpful or harmful viewpoint…will saying something critical be a means for someone to improve or to give up? I would hate to hurt someone who is already struggling about their weight, appearance, etc.

By Beck

July 16, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

Alright Ms. Lady, I’ve got to know which island on that note.

My Bajan butt thanks you for that perspective ;)

By Lynn

July 16, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

I can surely relate to this article. I have a 16 year old with a models body and a 13 year old struggling in her sister’s image. It’s definately not something that I have to point out to her, she’s very aware of it. Rather than trying to deflate her self image I strive very hard to inflate it. She’s every bit as beautiful as her sister, she’s just still carrying some of that baby weight, and that’s what I tell her. She doesn’t over eat, she eats the same things we do, she just carry’s it different. I’m surely hoping that with gaining a little height, she’ll loose a little weight. If not, I’ll help her any way I can but I’ll do it with love and care.

By Theresa

July 16, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

I am worried Jeff’s feelings are hurt —- let’s be nice to all our friends!!

By Sabby

July 16, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

Georgia Girl, I hear you on the “honestly” factor. You should liek this:

Will Ferrell (Ricky Bobby): … with all due respect, Mr Dennit … I had no idea you had gotten experimental surgery to have your balls removed … Molly Shannon (Mrs. Dennit): … ha ha ha ha ha … Greg Germann (Larry Dennit, Jr.): … what, what did you say, what was that, what was that? Will Ferrell: … woah woah, I said with all due respect … Greg Germann: … no, that doesn’t mean you get to say whatever you want to say to me … Will Ferrell: … sure, sure as heck does … Greg Germann: … no no, it doesn’t mean that … Will Ferrell: … its in the Geneva Convention, look it up …

By faye

July 16, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

My mom was big - to the point it embarassed me as a teen (she’s since had gastric bypass, for better or worse). I never wanted to be like that, although I took after my dad’s side of the family (“thick,” as someone else said, but strong…put it this way, I excelled at the shotput in HS track). Not being like my mom’s otherwise petite side of the family, I heard comments as I grew - particularly during my teen years. I was pretty self-conscious about my weight (125lb) at the time (although I would kill to weigh that again).

So I’m careful about what I eat and my family goes to the gym together (or does somethng outside like hiking or tennis) 2 - 4 times a week. It would be nice if it were more, but it is what it is.

I worked really hard not to give my daughter any of the same kind of issues, and she has a healthy sense of self-esteem about her body, even though she could stand to lose a few pounds (she found the freshman 15, lol). My son, also “thick,” just lost about 30 pounds - it was amazing, but not because he did it - amazing in that none of us realized that he could lose that much. He’s 6’2” and it was so well distributed, he had no belly or love handles or anything - he never looked 30 pounds overweight.

BTW, some people do have a real thyroid issue - I’m one of them - diagnosed and on medication. Once I was on the proper dosage of medication, my weight stabilized and I could lose it fairly easily with diet and exercise. If it’s an issue, go to an endocrinologist and get the proper dosage of medicine - then try to lose weight. The medicine alone won’t make you lose weight, but it should keep you from gaining it, if it’s thryoid-related (it won’t do squat if it’s too-much-food-and-not-enough-exercise related).

By peachykeen

July 16, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Honduras…and my best friend is Bajan!

Hey Jeff, come back! The ladies will play nice, we promise.

By Sabby

July 16, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Sorry for the dialogue all squished. Didn’t keep my line breaks….

By Dr. Phil

July 16, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

It’s not what you’re eating….it’s what’s eating you.

By Jeff

July 16, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

Theresa:

Actually, I was getting some work done/ on my lunch break. (Yes, I do actually work, even at my current job!)

Besides, you should know by now that my skin is dang near bulletproof! (Well, at least as far as verbal attacks go, and particularly online!)

By Beck

July 16, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Peachy, right as I typed that something said, wait, no, it could be Central America or South America too, but… …y’all are better shielded from the hurricanes… …and not by your butt ;)

Tell your bajan buddy I said hello; it’s a small place, we could be fam :)

By new mom

July 16, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Hi Georgia Girl—thanks for the kind words! And welcome, glad you are writing. I can’t say we always agree here on our little blog family, but what fun would that be? ;)

I love the ‘with all due respect’…when you hear that, just watch out! Kinda like when you hear something ‘honest’ and it’s followed with “…bless her heart”

By Obnoxious Kid

July 16, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

No Fatties allowed….only thin beautiful people…

That is why you get high blood pressure and die when your fat….because fat is ugly.

By Good Grief

July 16, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

What was that old saying, fatty, fatty boom ba latty. Or, fatty, fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the bathroom door.

Ha, Ha, Ha!!!!

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Why would Jeff’s feelings be hurt? I’m not saying I wouldn’t thump him in the back of the head upon meeting him…just for giggles…but I think he knows he lends a certain jena se qua.

By Sabby

July 16, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this

Just to be a smart@ss…it’s “je ne sais quoi”…

By Jesse's Girl

July 16, 2008 7:02 PM | Link to this

I love a good smart a$$.

By Mr. Anderson

July 16, 2008 7:25 PM | Link to this

I would suggest that telling your children you are making some dietary choices to improve your fitness and actually following through on those choices and becoming a fitter person is the best thing one can do. Many of us see overweight children nowadays. Many times, they are coupled with overweight parents that clearly don’t lead by example and likely do not talk to their children about fitness. I would encourage parents to be honest with their kids about fitness but make clear they still love their kids. They just want to love less of them.

By Rod

July 16, 2008 7:28 PM | Link to this

We have soooooooo many overweight children because parents want to coddle them and act like everything they do is so wonderful.

All these parents are doing is dooming their kids to an unhealthy life of FATNESS.

You’re the parent - act like one. If your child’s overweight, control what they eat. If you don’t love your child, ignore the problem and it’ll go away (when they die).

By JJ

July 17, 2008 7:17 AM | Link to this

Wow, I picked the wrong day to go do my pre-op testing….ha ha

These comments are great. What a great blog day!!!! Sorry I missed it.

And Welcome to all the Newbies!!!!

Peachykeen Your 1:03 post was great. I too love the hurricane comment.

By FCM

July 17, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

Jeff-you and T look very happy in the photos! Where were the nerves?

I did not ask the ‘show of hands’ to throw things at your ‘thick skin’. I wanted to know how many people got curious and went to look…You made it easy saying you were in first group and saying confirming that JG found you in wedding attire.

Shalom!

By JJ

July 17, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

WHERE ARE THE PICTURES? What gallery are they in? I went to the first 6 galleries, and didn’t see any one with a glowing bride?
I wanna see, I wanna see….

By jeff is a tool

July 17, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

last few pics of gallery #1

By FCM

July 17, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

JJ—Jeff and T are not in the photo together…each are with just their Dad…Gallery 1 photos of Father’s Day.—-at least according to the infomation in yesterday’s posts.

By JJ

July 17, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

I did see one of a lady named Tonya, marrying a Jeff Sexton…..

Thanks, I’ll go look again.

By new mom

July 17, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Are the normal people still on this blog? Cause today’s ‘is your wife smokin hot’ blog is horrible…

JJ, how did your pre-op stuff go yesterday?

By JJ

July 17, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

New Mom Thank you for asking. It went well, considering my blood pressure is through the roof. I have never had issues with BP, until I was diagnosed with this, so I’m chalking it up to stress. The Anesthesiologist (can’t spell that one), wasn’t too concerned, and they will take it again before the procedure. I was afraid they would cancel the surgery and I would have to wait longer. I’m ready for this to be over. I have seen more doctors, had more blood drawn, in the last 4 months than my entire life, pregnancy included….

I agree about today’s topic. I’m not sure why Theresa did this one for us MOMS…….hee hee.

Have a wonderful day.

By FCM

July 17, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Autofilter on the corp comp will not let me access today’s blog…probably thinks its a naughty site…HAHAHA….I will have to see it tonight. I imagine with that title all the immature trolls are out.

Theresa—how come your blog cannot stay open late like the Evening Edge ones…is it because they are on a different server?

By JJ

July 17, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

FCM You aren’t missing anything, trust me.

This one guy swears up and down his wife is smoking hot, and posted his “facebook” to show her off. She just looks average to me, but he is in love with her, so more power to him………

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

By new mom

July 17, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

JJ, I’m glad you had good results and everything is on schedule! It’s bad enough to dread a surgery, but I’m sure you just want to get it over with! I just said a little teeny prayer for you, hope you don’t mind too much ;D

FCM, today’s blog is basically a “deep” discussion based on a guy who said ‘thank god for my smokin hot wife’, a line from a MOVIE, to which everyone is overreacting. I guess not all blog days can be riveting…

Yep JJ, I totally agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have always thought that the more I get to know someone, and the sweeter that someone is, the prettier they get to me. Maybe that’s why I think all my friends are beautiful! I think y’all are all beautiful too, in a virtual blog sort of way :)

By JJ

July 17, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

New Mom I don’t mind…..thanks….

I’ve decided this is a “procedure” rather than “surgery”. It’s outpatient and takes less than an hour, and I will go to my Mom’s that afternoon…..

Procedures are less stressful….ha ha.

By new mom

July 17, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

JJ, then it’s totally a procedure and going to be a piece of cake… or at least not nearly as bad as a surgery! Please keep us all posted on your progress, we’ll be thinking about you!

By robo

July 18, 2008 5:29 PM | Link to this

My sweetie of 19 years is smokin HOT! And to think, she puts up with me. She even says I’m a handsome hunk when I’m climbing mountains, partying, and being a kid with my buddies, which she encourages me to do.

For that, I will just have to spend the reat of my life trying to make her happy. Tough relationship, huh?