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DEL.ICIO.USRemembering my sorta ‘Sex and the City” days
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Long before I had three kids and a house in the suburbs, I was living like Carrie Bradshaw and the “Sex and City” gals in Manhattan — well minus the random sex (I was already married.) and the ridiculously expensive shoes (same reason). I didn’t party much in college but I made up for it during the two years we lived in New York City in the late ’90s. We were young, newly married and had no responsibilities other than do our jobs and pay our bills.
We had money and lots of friends to spend it with. It was one of the best times in our lives, and obviously — three kids later — not one that can be repeated.
We moved back to Atlanta the summer that “Sex and City” first appeared on TV and we were pleasantly surprised to see much of our former lives mirrored on the show. (We wondered if the writers had been following us around.) As the years progressed and the show turned into repeats and a major motion picture, it always makes me nostalgic for our time in the big city.
We lived on the 49th floor of a high-rise apartment near Central Park. It was only a tiny studio, but it had an amazing view of the Hudson River and doormen to boot. My husband worked as an editor for The Associated Press. I worked as an editor at an architectural design magazine. Both our offices were full of other 20 and 30-somethings from all over the country with whom we quickly made friends.
I traveled frequently for work and was “forced” to attend cocktail parties — almost always at interesting places like the Metropolitan or Guggenheim museums. (A little culture with our liquor.)
My office was mostly young women. We spent our lunch hours getting pedicures or going shopping. Our nights were spent checking out new bars and lounges all over the city.
One of our favorites, which I believe was in one of the “Sex” episodes, was The Beauty Bar. Formerly a ladies’ beauty shop, it had the old-fashioned dryers to sit under while you drank your cocktail. And the cocktail of course was the Cosmopolitan.
Two years before Carrie and the gals sipped a Cosmo on TV, a good friend of my husband’s introduced me to this fantastic concoction of cranberry juice, triple sec and vodka. It remains a favorite today.
Another favorite bar was The Universal — regrettably now defunct. Remember the episode when Samantha runs into a look-alike transvestite waiter while she’s playing Bingo in a bar? The Bingo caller was the only transvestite that I remember there. For $45 you got a pitcher of Cosmos and Bingo cards for your whole table. There were big prizes for the winners — a designer chair found on the street (which one of our friends won) and a kiss from the transvestite (which another friend won).
While I couldn’t spend as much money on clothes as Carrie and the girls, a few fashion risks were taken.
Slip dresses had just come into style, and I happened to have a hand me down lace-bodice black slip. I threw on some high heels, my mother’s 30-year-old slip, my faux fur coat from the vintage bazaar and was ready to celebrate my 25th birthday at The Beauty Bar. I felt fabulous (as Carrie would say).
I would often meet my husband and his friends after work at lounges. One time I had just bought a very short skirt to surprise him. I was walking to the end of our block to catch a cab when I kept noticing that several cars were following me and pulling over to the curb. I finally realized they thought I was a call girl. Apparently, the skirt was a little too short. (Ah, the good old days — when I was mistaken for a hooker!)
Like millions of other woman across the country, I will be seeing the new “Sex and the City” movie this weekend with my mommy girlfriends. While I am excited to see my old friends from the city, I wonder: Have Carrie and the girls moved on like we have?
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Comments
By Jesse's Girl
May 30, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
I have had many exploits and escapades. I even know The Universal!! Perhaps that is one of the reasons S.A.T.C remains so near and dear to my heart. My friends always equated me to a strange-schizophrenic cross between Samantha and Charlotte. Sadly..or not, depending on how you look at it…that personality quirk has followed me around! I could go on..and on..about my days on tour buses and such. But man…I am so much happier now!! I’m glad I was able to experience all that I did. But I am sssssoooo thankful to be settled. My husband says ” Samantha in the bed but Charlotte in the street!” To which I say…” Whatever honey, I’m still not calling you Mr Big!”
By Good Old Days
May 30, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
God I hope they have moved on like the rest of the world has….Now I am from the younger fan base of Sex and the City….but i still lived and could relate to lots of episodes…. hopefully the movie will bring age to reality and not keep them on the same limbo as if the years haven’t caught up with them.
By FCM
May 30, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
I was late to get entrapped by SitC. Probably because I didn’t have cable…However, I immediately got the hook once I started watching! Good thing for DVDs of TV shows.
I am torn trying to decide if I am going to the movie. I would need a sitter…not sure whom I would go with etc.
I have lived in ATL my whole life. However, I do recall Martini’s with my friends of several walks of life…lived a low key/lower budget version of SitC I think…with less ‘S’ than even Charlotte!
Still, I am holding out to find my Mr. Big…..think he’ll mind I have children?
By Stacey
May 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
I have always been an old fuddy duddy and I met the bigger fuddy duddy that I eventually married during my first week of college. I guess it goes without saying that I have no “Sex In The City”ish stories to tell. LOL
My best friend was a huge fan of the show but for some reason I could never really get in to it. I do love reading books and stories with that type of setting. You guys already have me cracking up with your stories!
By Laura
May 30, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
Theresa, YOU living even sort of like the girls on SATC? Hahahahaha, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. That’s funny.
By goofin
May 30, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this
It makes perfect sense! superficial, self-involved wannabe socialites, one of which pretends to be a writer. The frizzy hair is just a laughable coincidence. It’s a freakin tv show for God’s sake! Pathetic (but with a clever sound track)
By Lynn
May 30, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this
Laura - was that really called for? Your most likely short, fat & ugly and always look for the worst in everyone to make you feel better about yourself. On topic - never watched the show so no opinion on that. I’m not a big TV fan and definately don’t do sitcoms.
By Thor
May 30, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this
Meow! Cat fight~
By Jesse's Girl
May 30, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this
I think…and this is a really crazy idea, I know…that if you despise this blog and it’s WRITER(credentialed and published to boot!) that you should JUST NOT READ IT!!! And if you do….please respect your own precious time enough to avoid commenting! Why waste your breath? Such silliness. And here I though school was out…
By meka
May 30, 2008 7:04 PM | Link to this
OMG I can’t wait my girlfriends and I will be watching the movie and eating popcorn going out for drinks and talking about all our days of SITC
By nurse&mother
May 30, 2008 9:45 PM | Link to this
Not too familiar with the show. I have only seen a couple of scenes. It seems a little superficial (JMHO). Doesn’t seem my type of show. You ladies have fun, though reminescing. I don’t have any stories like that. I suppose I was extremely mature for my age (very practical and responsible).
By crissy
May 30, 2008 10:43 PM | Link to this
Has anyone seen the movie? Who dies….that it totally dependent on whether I go or not! Thanks….
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
May 30, 2008 11:39 PM | Link to this
We’ll always be ‘Sex and the City’ gals…. just different stages. I think it’s more exciting actually…with a few kids under your belt…. all that knowledge traveling around in your head…still sipping a Cosmo… :::wiggling toes merrily::::
By Maggie
May 31, 2008 12:14 AM | Link to this
Well I just saw the movie and was very surprised to see that it didn’t take from the show, if anything it was as though the show never ended. I liked it and was pleasantly surprised. And it was a big deal for me I followed the show from beggining to end. And now the movie ! First dinner, then the movie with the one person that I love the most.me.
By crystal
May 31, 2008 12:32 AM | Link to this
All of those that feel the need to comment negatively must in some way regret the fact that they either never had the chance, or turned the oppertunity down to at least once experiance the thrill of being beautiful and powerful among other socialites as you say. There IS something wonderful about children, husbands, owning your home etc. I too know these joys. But, I have also worked hard throughout my carefree days and beyond them to assure myself the endulgence in martinis, beautiful shoes and pampering sessions at the spa. So, in the words that all will understand… Don’t hate the game girls! (Though you may a player in that game) There SHOULD be luxury in EVERY womans life. And if there’s something that you regret not experiencing… It’s never too late to enjoy things that are mildly selfish. You deserve it if you’re a mother at home, a loving wife among other things. If you truely havn’t experienced these indulgences than maybe it’s high time that you do? Don’t hold yourself back. That will in time make a spot of resentment on your heart towards your other accomplishments. Your family wants you to endulge and it’s okkay to do so.
By Eveline
May 31, 2008 1:19 AM | Link to this
Allright…all this talk about cosmos is fine and dandy…but who has had a Mr. Big in their lives??? I Have!! and we still talk. Unfortunately we are both in relationships right now, but he is my one and only Big.
By doubt it!
May 31, 2008 1:30 AM | Link to this
there’s not a chance in hell this hack is published! well, vanity press maybe,
By doubt it!
May 31, 2008 1:33 AM | Link to this
oh, and a degree and a hyphenated name are not credentials.
By laughing
May 31, 2008 4:16 AM | Link to this
This article reinforces for the 80,000th time how happy I am that I broke off my engagement. Please. Take it from a single 28-year-old who’s still that 98 lbs. We DO laugh at y’all behind your backs. Why? because when we want 5 dates in a week, we get them. When you go out for two beers and say “it’s so fun to be back out with the girls”, we know you’re going to duck out before last call. We hope you do, actually, because we’re already texting our late-night date. We know you “just feel so sorry for” us because we “just haven’t found the one”, but I have news for you - it’s not THAT hard to get married. It’s not at ALL hard to get knocked up. We just choose NOT to do so. Your “reminiscing” about how “I USED to live like Sex and the City”? It’s laughable, at best. Sorry, but “Sex” is the first word, not “married and boring”
Being single IS the show, it isn’t PART of the show.
By Shamrock
May 31, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this
Laughing-You seem so impressed with yourself and putting others down. Everyone has chosen a different path in life and your job is to understand that no one cares about you…this is about the show. What does getting “knocked up”(as you so eloquenly said it)have to do with ANYTHING? And if it is not that hard to get married, why are you still single at 28? Getting married is not supposed to be a difficult process if you are truly looking for love and not just sex.
By Carly
May 31, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
What’s with the small talk?
Fork it over!
By LB
May 31, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
The catty comments about this writer and this column are uncalled for and the perpetrators obviously have no life whatever, whether they weigh 98 or 198 (how pathetic to bandy your weight around, Laughing). Thanks, Theresa, for your perspective on the movie and your fun times in Manhattan. I’m a mom/writer in my forties (yes, published) and reading the pettiness of these blog comments is very disappointing. If you want to be a skank, go hang out on a political blog… A Fellow Columnist
By Shamrock
May 31, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this
I agree with LB… Laura did a great job writing this column and talking about her fun times in Manhattan. There are millions of us that absolutly love this series and can completely relate to the fun times with friends when we were younger. This movie is about deep friendships that last a lifetime. We may change, but our best friendships continue.
By Harold
May 31, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
Well said..LB..98lbs lbs of attitude is not flattering. I always liked SATC and I’m guy. It gave me a new perspective on dating and relationships from the otherside. Have not seen the movie but I’m going to see it soon.
By SW
May 31, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this
Laughing— Do you think you are in the show?? That is what your post sounds like. You do know it is a fictional show, right? The people are not real and, by the way, you are not one of them.
By Jeff
May 31, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this
Could this possibly be more sexist?
By MissMaverick
May 31, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this
What’s with the mean tone in some of these posted comments? Enjoyed the movie yesterday. The best possible film has been made. Smart script, great characters, fine actresses, good chemistry between the women, fun fashion, NYC, hip-hopped SATC theme, and the fine looking Mr. Big.
By Lauren
May 31, 2008 7:17 PM | Link to this
SATC was such a fun show and I can’t wait to see to see the movie. I am going to NYC next week and will see it there. How perfect! I am disappointed to see such mean-spirited, catty posts on this blog. I guess being anonymous gives some people the courage to unload on others. Actually, much of the show as about the single life but by the end of the series all were in serious relationships (two married) and Miranda had a child and Charlotte and her husband were adopting, so the single life was hardly 100% of this show as one mean poster alledged. SATC was always about four women persuing love and sex (let’s face it) all the while being supportive of each other. Too bad we can’t do the same thing in real life.
By Dandy Jones
May 31, 2008 7:39 PM | Link to this
You used sex to get you a safe life, so you don’t have to work. It wasn’t love. You know what. You are looking to climb up again honey. Why not get a craft, and earn it? What you are say about 35 ish and know you sex appeal is going down so you only have a few more years to “use” it. Not new.
You’re funny.
By nurse&mother
May 31, 2008 9:01 PM | Link to this
Not sure if one should be called “mean spirited” just because one admits that it is not her/his cup of tea (or cosmopolitin). There are lots of different types of people out there. BTW, not every single woman is on the pursuit to get laid (contrary to popular belief).
@ laughing While it might not be hard to get married, it is damn hard to find a good man that is kind, loving and continues to make my heart skip a beat after 13 years! I have had better sex with my husband than with any other man while I was single. I suspect with your attitude you will never obtain what I have. Good luck, though.
By lovin life
June 1, 2008 1:19 AM | Link to this
Laughin I am sad for you. Your late date? A little slutty samantha don’t ya think? By the way not all that easy to get knocked up. Hubby and I tried for years for our lil num 2. Oh well keep laughing at me if it makes you feel better. I will keep being happier than I ever imagined with mr wonderful and the 2 little goobers. While you are drinking I will be putting my darlings to bed, and while you late date I will be safe and loved and cared for by my husband. Good luck to you laughing! Every one else, lets not give away the movie just yet! Going for girls night out next week. I am sure many of us haven’t been yet! Cosmos for all!!!
By got a crush
June 1, 2008 5:52 PM | Link to this
The only reason I watch sex and the city, is because I’ve got a big crush on Charlotte. She is a cutie.
By erin
June 1, 2008 6:08 PM | Link to this
I saw the movie yesterday with a girlfriend and I LOVED it … it’s exactly what I wanted the movie to be.
As for those SATC days? I’m still there (I’m mostly Carrie with a healthy dose of Miranda thrown in, too), minus the expensive shoes and the NYC life.
Oh, and the catty comments on this blog are really uncalled for. We’re all adults here. Can’t we at least pretend to BE adults and get over the high-school cattiness?
By Sugar
June 2, 2008 8:02 AM | Link to this
Yea, and most MEN I know don’t like a 98 lb woman. They like a REAL woman with meat on her bones.
And “late night dates” are nothing more than Booty Calls. You have to set up a late date, cuz no one at the bar wanted you. How sad, closing down a bar, and no one to go home with.
IJust remember people, school is out for the summer, and the kids have nothing better to do…….don’t feed the trolls.
By Sugar
June 2, 2008 8:02 AM | Link to this
Yea, and most MEN I know don’t like a 98 lb woman. They like a REAL woman with meat on her bones.
And “late night dates” are nothing more than Booty Calls. You have to set up a late date, cuz no one at the bar wanted you. How sad, closing down a bar, and no one to go home with.
IJust remember people, school is out for the summer, and the kids have nothing better to do…….don’t feed the trolls.
By FCM
June 2, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
Saw the movie this weekend…they need to serve a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at the concession stand. Just saying.
By Never been there
June 2, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this
I love the Sex and the City series. But, after reading what Theresa wrote I find no comparison between what Theresa achieved and what 4 SINGLE, INDEPENDENT women went through. It is not about a woman and her husband bonding with friends and such.
By Becky
June 2, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
Why does everyone (most) want to be so negative toward Theresa’s blog? She didn’t say that everything was the completely the same..Notice the word “sorta”?? Not everyone thinks in one straight line..I never watched the show, but remember plenty of times that were sorta like things that the SATC girls do..Hope that all have a great day..
By Never been there
June 2, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this
Wasn’t even “sorta” Becky….there is no comparison…
By Wishes....Wishes
June 2, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this
I think most women who have watched “Sex in the City” have wanted to have that life. But to even compare ourselves to them…well…sounds like retro wishful thinking to me….
By FCM
June 2, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this
OK…so some of us sorta see ourselves in a (or several) of the character(s). Few of us (including 98lbs bimbos who think life happens on a late night booty call—-Carrie in movie “If he texts you at 11:30 that message says boo-tay!”) actually get to live that life.
Yes, some people do. Yes, with Theresa’s job at the time, she probably was more on the cocktail party circuit (ala Samantha & Carrie) than your average Jane. I know people who worked in DC and did the political version—doesn’t make them Hilary Clinton or Saxby Chambliss (thank God!).
Lighten up.
On the other hand. Despite 2 children and no desire to see myself as a $ex Kitten, I found I most identified with Samantha’s story line. I could see some of myself in Miranda’s current spot with Steve…However, I think most of us would like to see ourselves as Carrie and find our Mr. Big /Mr.Right….when we are able to discuss the movie without spoilers then I will be happy to explain what I mean.
By Dementia
June 2, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this
Before I had kids, I was living in Sparta. Drinking wine, watching buff men fight. Then one day I was standing next to a pit talking to a guy who looked like Gerard Butler and (can you believe it), he kicked me right into the pit after shouting at me.
Now…can we get back to “kids” related topics as that is what I thought this was supposed to be?
By Dementia
June 2, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this
Before I had kids, I was living in Sparta. Drinking wine, watching buff men fight. Then one day I was standing next to a pit talking to a guy who looked like Gerard Butler and (can you believe it), he kicked me right into the pit after shouting at me.
Now…can we get back to “kids” related topics as that is what I thought this was supposed to be?
By FCM
June 2, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this
Dementia,
This blog is about ‘Moms’ not ‘kids’. There is more to being a Mom than raising children (THANK GOD!!!). Being a Mom includes all aspects of being the woman. That (again thank God!)includes celebrating lables, love, and libido! (Carrie got it wrong there were 3Ls not 2)
By Dementia
June 2, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this
Ah….thank you so much for that FCM….even though I am a Mom also…..I sometimes forget Mom “protocol”…consider me duly corrected…have a good evening.
By Dementia
June 2, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this
oh…and that is labels…..don’t take yourself so seriously FCM……
Night!
By Theresa
June 2, 2008 5:19 PM | Link to this
Hey FCM — I think you’re right for many moms the Miranda/Stevel model is where they are — more the beginning than the middle part of the movie — again not to give away too much — Did you find the movie just sad? I cried all the way through and just left feeling sad — again not to give away too much -
By Theresa
June 2, 2008 5:30 PM | Link to this
I’ve got a question for tomorrow based on a unspoken point from the movie - I wanted to see what everyone thought about it — a lot to discuss as far as relationships/marriage goes from the movie — I think we need to pick a date and say OK after this point we’re going to reveal stuff so we can all talk about it —how long do you give moms to get out and see ti — I’m afraid it would need to be like two months to give people a fair chance - but that seems too long to wait
By cobbmom
June 2, 2008 5:59 PM | Link to this
I will not be going to see the movie. I tried watching the show and couldn’t stand it. I certainly had my days when I was younger, but its hard to be nostalgic when the show is about older women. Not to knock anyone who likes it, but I just don’t get it. Bold: Laughing - maybe its not that hard to get married or knocked up, but its not that hard to be a washed up over the hill skank either. And if you have such a great swinging single life, why are you reading a “mommy” blog? Rather pathetic don’t you think? I don’t think there is anything wrong with being 28 and single…or 48 and single for that matter. Marriage is not a requirement for a happy life. However, women like you are just sad. You may think you are laughing at us, but really there is much humor to be found in a woman still trying to be 18 despite her withered face and the track marks down her back.
By nurse&mother
June 2, 2008 6:17 PM | Link to this
Very well spoken Cobbmom! My sentiments exactly!
By Sad
June 2, 2008 6:44 PM | Link to this
Dementia - I can see why you got kicked into the pit!
By FCM
June 2, 2008 7:22 PM | Link to this
@ Theresa…Yes, I found a good bit of the movie ‘down’ hence my wanting the Ben & Jerry’s. I did not cry but I did laugh. I read today that the movie is already starting to ‘drop off’. I think we give it through next weekend and then we can start hashing the movie? I was trying to be careful with my ‘quips’ from the movie, trying not to give much away. I would hope most Mom’s saw themselves in Charlotte (I actually thought of one your blogs with 3 times comment-hehe). We may not have 3 gal pals to meet for Cosmos in a tony section of town in $525 shoes….but we do have your blog (wink). I could see some of my past in Miranda….but as I stated earlier I was surprised that minus the $ex part of Samantha, I identified with her most.
As to the aging of the women….and trust me I did not get why people watched this show for the longest time, so I have no issue that you don’t like it…I think it’s like Ya-Ya or Fried Green Tomatoes or even Steel Magnolias. Every now again somebody writes a modern definitive on female relationships. For better or worse SATC seems to do it for the late 90s gal (the one who can remember Sara Jessica Parker in Square Pegs or Footloose).
By Theresa
June 2, 2008 9:16 PM | Link to this
loved her in square pegs — that was 5th grade for me and I talked like a valley girl —like ya know — good point.
Yes I would hope we would all be charlotte but I’m afraid much are miranda
By Jeff
June 3, 2008 1:51 AM | Link to this
Yes, there are decent men out there but we’ve learned to recognize bad women and avoid them like the plague. Maybe the reason you aren’t attracting good men is because you’re not a good person. We good men (faithful, honest, respectful,decent and yes with a high sex drive that is in love with the female body)know when you are a good person and when you aren’t. Try letting go of your arrogance.
By I do NOT want to see you in a slip dress
June 12, 2008 6:03 PM | Link to this
I don’t see it. Keep dreaming.
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