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DEL.ICIO.USShould race matter in adoptions?
A law passed in 1996 says it shouldn’t be a factor, but now there’s concern black children adopted by white families aren’t faring as well as they could.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Time magazine posted a fascinating report this week by Jeninne Lee-St. John questioning whether white families who adopt black children can rear them as well as black families could. Here’s the full story. (In a related story, Madonna’s adoption of an African child was approved this week. Here’s that story.)
The story says: “ ‘Color-blind’ adoption, the report contends, allows some white parents — who may not be mentally ready or have the appropriate social tools to parent black children — to raise youngsters, who may, in turn, experience social and psychological problems later in life.”
“The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a non-profit that studies and provides education on adoption, examined national statistics and studies on transracial adoptions — those in which adoptive parents and adopted children are of different races — in the U.S. over the past two decades. In its report, ‘Finding Families for African American Children,’ the institute argues that race should be a factor in adoption placement, and that agencies should be allowed to screen non-black families who want to adopt black children — for their ability to teach self-esteem and defense against racism, and for their level of interaction with other black people. ”
“The authors’ recommendations reflect the findings that transracial adoptees report struggling to fit in with their peers, their communities and even with their own families. The study also says that minority children adopted by white parents are likely to express a desire to be white, and black transracial adoptees have higher rates of behavioral problems than Asian or Native American children adopted transracially; they also exhibit more problems than biracial or white adoptees, or the biological children of adoptive parents.”
The story suggest that because of the law saying race shouldn’t matter in adoptions that families weren’t given advice on how to help their children adapt.
The story says that since the law was passed the proportion of transracial adoptions has only increased modestly — from 17.2% in 1996 to 20.1% in 2003.
The story reports black children are adopted less frequently and more slowly than kids of any other race. “Fifteen percent of U.S. children are black, but they account for nearly a third of children in foster care and a third of those awaiting adoption. White children are five times as likely as to be adopted than children from any minority group, and are adopted out of foster care an average of nine months sooner than black children.”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with educating families adopting children about how to help them be proud of the race they were born into and how to help them adapt if they’re new family is a different color. But I can’t imagine it would be better to leave these children in the foster care system than to get them adopted into a loving home.
What do you think: Does race affect how children are reared when adopted? Should families be educated about how to combat racism and how to help their children be proud of their race? Should race be a factor when adopting?
Permalink | Comments (101) | Post your comment | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Comments
By momtoAlex&Max
May 29, 2008 7:44 AM | Link to this
This will be a hot issue. Can’t wait to read the opinions.
If I remember correctly, the statistics also show that there are a lot less black couples wanting to adopt than white couples. Since you quoted here that black children make up a large percentage of children waiting to be adopted, it seems to me that placing a “race block” on adoptions is probably not a good idea. I would think that educating couples on transracial (btw, I hate that word) adoptions and the challenges that arise from that would be a MUCH better alternative.
By jct
May 29, 2008 8:02 AM | Link to this
There should be no racial block. That is quite ridiculous.
However, if you choose a transracial(hate the word too) adoption, you should be responsible enough to have people in your support system who can help you with issues of racism and race relations.
Theresa, I did not read the article. In your research on this topic was there any ‘survivor guilt’ discussed. I could see how an older adoptee having guilt that they got out but people in country of origin are not faring as well. Just a thought…
By FCM
May 29, 2008 8:03 AM | Link to this
Stephen Curtis Chapman doesn’t seem to think it should matter. He not only adopted 3 from China (bless the family on the loss of the youngest), but he also started a program to help other people do the same.
On a more personal level, I know 3 families who adopted daughters from China. These families would be classified ‘white’ by most people. These children are now in loving caring homes getting many things they probably would not have if they stayed in China. Isn’t the love/care in the home the most important thing?
Kirk Cameron (Growing Pains) was on the View yesterday (I really need to get those interviews to turn into job offers). He and his wife Chelsea adopted their first 4 children. I saw the photo and I believe they were multi-ethnic. Again the love/care is way more important then the color of the skin.
By motherjanegoose
May 29, 2008 8:07 AM | Link to this
I may be naive…. DOES LOVE HAVE A COLOR? I hug and hold hands with thousands of children each day who simply want a kind word. These are children who live in a home with a parent or two. I cannot imagine a child knowing that he is waiting to be part of a family and it has to match his color. I realize ethnicity is important but love is more important. That being said, I know how society is. I am white and have a good male friend who is black. Our entire family is friends with him and we have been to inner city church with him ( out of state). When I am at meetings and we grab a cup of coffee to chat or have dinner in the lobby of the hotel…I get the looks and remember that many folks think we are a mixed race couple…we are not even dating…just friends.
By First Time Mom
May 29, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
I was a nanny for four and half years to a white couple that adopted two little boys. One is half white half black and the other is black. This couple didn’t care what color their children would be, they just wanted to care for and nurture their children. And they are doing a fabulous job. They are aware and try their best to teach the boys about their heritage and are proud to be a “rainbow family”. I am proud of them for adopting locally. There are sooooo many babies and children here in the States that need good homes and love.
By goofin on the mombies
May 29, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
It’s what’s on the inside people! Why cant you see that, love is color blind, it’s what’s on the inside!, BTW, whatever happened to Ricki Lake?
Love lifts us up where we belong, where the eagles fly and the something, something
almost wish I didnt have to go to work, this should be good. Edgy, sensitive material but teresa doesnt have to take ownership of it, she didnt write it, so she’ll get hammered for a while then pop in with a bunch of dashes telling the masses how she supports transracial adoption, dating, organ swapping and she ust wanted to use the article as a way of generating sorely needed responses on her blog. Brilliant!
By Sarah
May 29, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this
If race matters then I must ask are the adoptive parents suppose to teach their adopted children of a different race how to act Chinese, or black, or whatever their race is? Isn’t this equal to saying you’re suppose to raise them in accordance with their socially perceived stereotypes? I think people who want to offer their home, time, love, money and support to a child….those are the most important things. Of course the childs native culture should be a part of their lives but to deny the adoption predicated on race, I find very disturbing.
By Joyce
May 29, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
Should families be educated on combatting racism and promoting pride in one’s ethnicity? Prospective parents defintely need to receive training and support on how to combat racism and foster a good self-image for their child and his/her ethnic identity. To do otherwise is irresponsible. Should race be a factor in adoption? Not to the point that a child is denied the chance of a “forever family”. That would be tragic.
By Stacey
May 29, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this
I am not against transracial adoption because, as the story points out, there are a lot of black and other ethnic minorities in foster care needing to be adopted. I do believe, however, that both the adults and all of the children in the family need some kind of training and/or counseling in dealing with inevitable questions and discrimination they will face. While I truly believe that there are color blind individuals in America, as a whole, we are a very prejudiced society.
By lately
May 29, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
I think that as long as the parents are loving and want only the best for the child, race should not matter.
All babies are the same inside. They are not born with preconceived notions of race and color. Just because they have a darker or lighter shade of skin should not prevent them from being placed with a couple who will love them and provide for their needs.
The world is changing so rapidly that it is doubtful these children will even be stigmatized or deal with the same issues that we see now (or at least we can hope!)
By Susan
May 29, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this
Does race matter? Sure it does. Let’s not be blind about differences. Should adopting parents attend classes, educational events, and support group meetings about racial issues impacting children and young adults? Yes they should. Again, let’s not be blind about differences and let’s be practical. Some people are not exposed to different race groups and class groups. It’s not a bad thing. What becomes the bad thing is if they adopt prejudicial treatment and form power structures based on differences. I’m not familiar with the adoption process, but I sincerely hope (and would like to research) if there are screenings and background procedures to discern inappropriate behaviors regarding race, gender, and social attitudes and practices. So in this vein, should race be a factor in adoption? Yes it should in the sense that agencies are acknowledging differences and helping parents get through appropriate educational experiences to take on the lifelong challenges (and rewards) of adopting different race-group children. I’m all for everyone adopting everyone. I like the question posted, “Does love have a color?” Love does not have a color, but there are differences with race, class, gender, and social/cultural practices. I believe we should learn about each other and YES, PLEASE ADOPT THE CHILDREN IN FOSTER CARE REGARDLESS OF RACE. At some point the children in foster care will make their own decisions about how to interact with people different from them. If they are raised and nurtured in a supportive home that acknowledges differences, then they will continue to live their life in the same fashion.
By goofin
May 29, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
Brilliant!
By Theresa
May 29, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Hey JCT — the article mentions adoptions from other countries but was mainly focussed on American parents adopting children from this country of other races.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
The VAST majority of racism in this country comes FROM Black Americans.
This article is further proof.
White people, by and large, simply do not care about race anymore. Again, this article is further proof.
If blacks are so concerned about making sure a black adopted child is ‘raised black’, why don’t they adopt more kids themselves?
Wait… that would mean they couldn’t celebrate 12 yos having babies….
By Jan
May 29, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this
I don’t believe race should be an issue brought into play by anyone but the adoptive parents. I believe couples wanting to adopt children want just that—children. I do feel, from experience, that adopted children have more issues to deal with than children in natural biological environments, for whatever reasons. For that reason, I’m not sure it isn’t harder for a child to be raised in a different racial family, as they get older. I wish all children in need of a home and nurturing could be placed in a safe and loving environment from birth.
By Jesse's Girl
May 29, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
I can speak personally on this subject. Out of my 3 best friends…one of them was unable to conceive. They tried for nearly 10 years. When a couple goes through that…it changes your perspective from” I want to have a child of my own” to ” I want to be a mommy to any child”. They adopted 2 white/blabk mixed girls and after some time the same adoption agency contacted them to see if they would be interested in adopting a sick white child that they could not place. She once told me that while they were going through their interviews that no bones were made about the fact that for every 50 white couples that come through the door, there are only about 2 black couples. And while most of the white couples come in desperate for any healthy child….what few black couple come in only want black children. My friend said the racism was painfully obvious in the adoption process. But she and I both agree that it really can’t be helped ( and it is understood to both of us)….as with most things…you accept it and move on!
The crux of children that are placed for adoption are black children. There is nothing racist about that, its the simple truth. Its the whole socio-economic circus we live in. I think given the choice, most couples would like to adopt within their race. I don’t think it will change any time soon. For the most part, whites are more wealthy than any other race….good, bad or indifferent…that is the truth. Since blacks make up the majority of foster home rosters…I don’t see the numbers improving any time soon. Its supply and demand, to put it crassly. There are simply more white couples with money willing to adopt any child. There are less black couples with the available funds to adopt.
Having said all of this…..I have witnessed first hand more loving black foster families than I have white. There are few things more awesome than a black grandmother giving of herself to children of all races. I have seen that too many times to discount its power! I do think that couples who adopt inter-racially should be incouraged to undergo some education beyond the norm. Even if you find you never need the wisdom…at least you can rest assured knowing you truly did everything in your power to prepare yourself!!!
By We all need love
May 29, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this
Duhh, this is America and we make race an issue in everything we do. Sad but true. My mom is a foster mother and she just adopted a 16 white young man. He’s been in the family for years. He’s midly retarded and was severly beaten and neglected by his parents and siblings. He was so pitiful when he came to live with my mom… regardless of his color he is treated the same and we love him. He is my little brother. He is a sweet kid.
By Theresa
May 29, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Since we have a lot of people visiting today — I want to point out we have linked up the Summer Fun Guide — It’s under the calendar of events in the top left-hand corner — we will be adding more and more information over the next few weeks so keep checking it out— also it will be there all summer so if you need to look up an amusement park or find out what free movie is playing near you, it will be there.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Susan said ‘I sincerely hope (and would like to research) if there are screenings and background procedures to discern inappropriate behaviors regarding race, gender, and social attitudes and practices.’
But who gets to decide what is inappropriate? Ellen Degeneres? Louis Farakhan? Jeremiah Wright? Jerry Falwell? Pat Buchanan? Bob Barr? George Bush? Barack Obama? John McCain? Ted Kennedy? Hillary Clinton?
Hopefully you get the point: There should be NO screenings -other than a felony criminal background check, MAYBE - in order to adopt.
And BTW: I mean ZERO screenings - meaning I don’t care who is willing to adopt. I don’t care about their color, creed, sexual orientation, religion, hair color, family history, ANYTHING. What is best for that kid is to be with someone who loves them, as long as that sense of ‘love’ isn’t so warped as to include sexual behaviors with minors.
Individual Liberty and Personal Responsibility are, after all, WONDERFUL things!
By T
May 29, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this
Wait… that would mean they couldn’t celebrate 12 yos having babies….
If blacks are the ones that are racist. Why is it that you are the first to make a racist remark that has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Hopefully, all of the other posters will use there voice and intellegence when noticing that a child without a home could use a loving one to go to. Regarless of race. That comment is the type of pejudices that the future parents will have first of all learn to deal with themselves. Then teach their children that racism ,however on the decline, still exists. Thanks for playing.
By Sarah
May 29, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this
The current trend of adopting a child that doesn’t look like you seems to be taking hold because of so called celebs, always seeking acceptance and self-grandness in the form of media coverage, are headline makers when they adopt. Afterall, don’t we all want to be like our idols? The Madonna’s and Angelina Jolie’s of the entertainment world have started a trend. One seems to be trying to ‘one-up’ the other. I can imagine Aneglina on the phone now, talking to one of her adoption contacts, requesting a child that no one has as if the child was a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. What’s next for her? A child that’s part Aztec, part Neanderthal?
By Karen
May 29, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Why is this only with white and black kids and families? There are alot of international adoptions being done and I’ve heard nothing about if these kids are being raised in the wrong culture. I’m sure if you ask these kids black or white…they would prefer a loving, stable environment. To the comment that whites don’t care about color, you got to be kidding! You really don’t believe that do you? But I do agree with you regarding why aren’t more blacks adopting if they have an issue with “transracial” adoption
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
T:
That wasn’t a racist remark. It was a remark on the FACT that black communities typically CELEBRATE 12yo kids having babies, while white communities typically SHUN said 12yo.
And I’ve see it with my own eyes in both scenarios.
By motherjanegoose
May 29, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
Foster parents are so wonderful and it bring me to tears when I think of how they can give a child a chance.
It also makes me cry when I know that children are being abused for no fault of their own and THEN we have these children in Gwinnett County who are “looking for a job this summer but I am being very picky as I DO have a life and several things I want to do too!” Oh, did you say you have no experience but you are a prima donna…include that in your resume.
I have a passion for children and it pains me that there are those who are not loved.
Many of our spoiled children have NO idea how lucky they are!
By Eric
May 29, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
I have no problem with adopting a kid of any race. Every child in the world wants to be loved. Color should never determine that.
To the poster who calls himself Jeff, That was a very ignorant comment that you made. People like you are why topics like this one appear on blogs.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
Once again Jeff sticks his foot in his mouth.
By Wow!
May 29, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Wow! I saw this show on TV and it was about gays and adoption. I was dead against gay adoption until I saw this show. Why, I can’t really explain. Anywoo there was this gay couple and they adopted 2 blacks kids… One was a toddler and one was a male teenager. When the interviewer asked him how does he feel about being adopted by two white gay men. He made the most profound statement. He said if they hadn’t I would be lost. No one wanted me. I was black, older and a male. The saw me and open there hearts and home to me. He went on to say that their S$xual preference didn’t matter to him and he wasn’t ashamed of them. They taught me how to be a man and to respect others differences. He went on to say we have our problems as any family but their is alot of love. He asked the reported don’t I deserve to have someone love me and don’t they deserve to give love. I was in tears watching this show. I learned at that moment that prejudices hurt our society- racially, sexually, gender… it is unecessary. These kids need a home and love and if the family was purple they should be allowed to love whom they please. Love with your heart not with your eyes
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Karen:
I was raised in a fairly redneck-infested area of Bartow County.
Yet my elementary school principal was a black man, and I was raised back then - by my PARENTS - to respect and obey that man just as much as I respected and obeyed my own father. (Didn’t hurt that the gentleman in question had been one of my dad’s HS teachers.) My parents REQUESTED the only black Kindergarten teacher at the school for one of my younger bros (don’t remember which brother), even though they had been perfectly satisfied with my own Kindergarten teacher and she was still a Kindergarten teacher at that school!
We didn’t hang around my step-grandfather in law any more than we had to when I was growing up because of his proclivity to drink beer and fling the N-word around almost every other word.
Most kids I knew could point to similar experiences.
So I NEVER saw racism coming FROM a white that wasn’t sunned.
And then I went to work in a school system where I was one of 15 white teachers in the ENTIRE SYSTEM, and where ALL of the administration was black. (As well as about 80% of the county and 99% of the students in the schools.)
NEVER have I seen the level of racism that was directed against me. I had kids PHYSICALLY ASSAULT me simply because I was white while administration did NOTHING other than try to get rid of ME.
And then you have people like Louis Farakhan and Jeremiah Wright…
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
Jeff is a clear reason why transracial adoption is difficult. instead of understanding that a 12yo has already been impregnanted and there is nothing that can be done about it but support it-(using one of his stereotypical statements: cause the VAST majority of ABORTIONS come from whites), he insists that blacks CELEBRATE 12yo births. Is that assinine or what? what this clown interprets as a celebration is just support. NEWSFLASH clown, no one wants their 12yo daughter pregnant!!!!!!! Jeff I must say you are showing your ignorance and ignorance is why transracial adoption is so hard!!! YOU just dont know, don’t wanna know, don’t take the time to know, or don’t care to know
By T
May 29, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
Which black comunity celebrates such ignorance? Maybe thats an issue to address. If you are refering to lower income communities, then possibly what you are seeing is the effects of poor education, and the lack of proper parental supervision. Then again, that is the issue at hand. Allowing the right guidance to show that adoption does not mean that you love your child any less, but will not let the mistakes you made effect that of the childs. If someone wants to become a parent to a child it should not matter what color they are.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
Couple of corrections to my last:
Should have been step grandfather, not step grandfather in law. Man in question was my mom’s step dad.
Futhermore, should have been shunned rather than sunned, didn’t catch it, as my browser is having sizing issues with the comment panel here on the page.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Hey Jeff:
Get over what happened to you and move on. After all that is what people like you tell black people about slavery “RIGHT”
By Jesse's Girl
May 29, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
While the way Jeff worded his comment is very “bull in china shopish”…Dear Lord, I do understand his perspective. In my work, I am surrounded by very talented people. A little over half of those people are black or of mixed race. 80% of those are either parents themselves or have siblings that are. That doesn’t take away from their contributions to music, but it is cause for concern. Its just a symptom of a larger education problem. I find myself envious at times of some of these people I work with….they have street smarts like you wouldn’t believe…you can’t take advantage of them. But the lack of general common sense causes them to take advantage of themsleves…if you will. I do see teenage parenthood as a badge of honor almost with the urban set that I choose to work with. They are incredible people! There is very little pretense…they are who they are. But the lack of education and good old fashioned common sense about sex is unreal!
So yes…I do see Jeff’s point. It should be a more shameful event…the pregnancy of a young child. But sadly, its not in most cases. Its a cycle. But I have to beleive it is one that can be stopped! If our foster care system is to change for the better….and it absolutely has to…we have to start with the ones who need the common sense the most. Which is why I whole heartedly support mandatory sex ed.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this
Hey Jeff:
Get over what happened to you and move on. After all that is what people like you tell black people about slavery “RIGHT”
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
jeff you are an unbelievable!!! you have placed yourself in a predominently black town, where the majority of everything you do involves black people, inside a country that has invoked treatment worse than that on hoards of blacks throughout the nation an you want to scream foul. you r an idiot is what you r!!!!!!
By LuvliMom
May 29, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
I think that it should not matter the race of the child, as long as the child is given a loving home and not because it’s like a fad to do so. However, the parents need to be sure there is a support system for the child and family where the child is able to learn about his/her culture. Take Angelina and Brad, it’s great they adopted, but I think they (the children) are not getting a fair amount of interaction with others like them.(from what I see who knows behind the scenes) I say this looking at Zahara (is that right?) and how everytime I see her out, it seems they fail to make sure her hair is combed. I know small issue, but still important as they should realize they need to keep her groomed just like their other daughter.
As for black adoptions, no there aren’t as many adoptions, but there are probably a range of reasons. I was told by a friend who wanted to adopt, she was turned down as they said she was not suitable because she is single though she is a warm/loving person, has a great job, and tons of family and friends ready to help if needed. Seems odd she was turned down. I do agree with others that more blacks need to adopt if they have the want and means to do so.
A comment made that blacks are quicker to celebrate a 12 y/o having a baby is very stereotypical. What you may see in one instance or glorified/misconstrued on tv does NOT define a whole race.
By Logically Speaking
May 29, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this
No - race should not matter. Parent just need to be aware of issues that may arise and proactively find ways to educate their adopted children. My husband and I are African-American and are seriously considering adopting one or two childen.
Jeff - why do you have to be ignorant? Is it more about us African-Americans being racist or about us calling people like you on your sh#$ instead of laying there an taking it? We don’t celebrate a 12 year old having a baby. We may however, make the best of a bad situation - something we have done for ages and will continue to do. Overcoming obstacles and becoming stronger as a result is what plenty of us do everyday. But go ahead and continue spreading your ignorance and focusing on those of us who fit nicely into your stereotypes. I pray you don’t spread this foolishness to your own children. That would just be sad….
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
Jeff how dare you call yourself working in a school system!!! they need to get rid of you
By Karen
May 29, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
I don’t know any mother that will celebrate a 12 year old given birth… Maybe what they celebrate is the fact that there is a new life and deal with the issue at hand. My black mother would have beat the crap out of me… but then again I was raised differently. Guys give Jeff a break. He’s just going off the images that he sees. I must admit I am taken aback when I see these young girls pregnant myself. I’m 35 single w/ no children and I’m still not ready (lol) but that’s my issue. I don’t know how a young kid will handle the responsbility
By Lisa
May 29, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this
Race still matters today and we can’t ignore that. I do believe that children need parents that love them, regardless of their race. I have personal experience with this matter as I was a child adopted by parents of another race. I think parents (and mine did this) have to learn to educate themselves about the culture of their children if different from their own, but outside of that, I don’t believe there should be additional requirements. Love is love and all children need parents to love and support them. That is more important than race any day.
By new mom
May 29, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this
During my one (and only!) year teaching in an elementary public school, a little girl, who happened to be black, made a very strong impression on me. She was a fifth grader, and at first she acted tough and had a lot of discipline problems. My principal told me that she was the oldest of 5 kids, and her home life was rough. I never met her mother—she never showed for conferences, never returned phone calls, nothing.
Over the course of the year, she started responding differently to me, and would initiate hugging me, always wanting to be by my side, etc. One day that sticks in my mind I was waiting with my bus riders after school, and several of us were sitting on the desks. She sat next to me, laid her head in my lap, and told me she loved me. I got choked up, realizing I was more of a mother figure to her than her own was. I remember when I was very little laying my head in my own mother’s lap the same way.
I talked to our principal and told her that I would adopt this girl in a heartbeat. The principal informed me that she doubted it would ever happen, for two reasons: one, I was white. two, the mother would NEVER give her up, willingly, at least, because this precious 10 year old girl was RAISING her younger brothers and sisters. All from different fathers.
I left it that if anything ever happened and we could help, even temporarily, with her or her brothers and sisters, for the principal to call me. I’m not surprised that we never got a call.
I still think about that sweet girl today. If she’s still in school, she’s going to be a senior next year. I wonder if she has children, and if so, how many. And I wish I could have done something more. But most of all, I hope that she has been loved by someone, if not by her own mother, hopefully by a teacher, someone.
By karen
May 29, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this
Jeff, wow I’m sorry for your experience. You should have sued there a*******es. I understand why you said what you said. I agree that there is reverse discrimination. More than blacks care to admit. It should not be tolerated on any level from anyone. Black or white. But please don’t group us all in that category… there are some racist ignorant blacks just as they are white.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
Eric:
Difference:
I rail on the things that happened DIRECTLY TO ME.
Blacks rail on things that happened GENERATIONS ago, by people that are by and large DEAD.
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
If jeff can say something that ignorant and not know it then he probably, unknowingly, said something assinine to the kid that tried to jack him up!!! think about your involvement Jeff!!!
By Mary
May 29, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
Adoption agencies require parents to attend seminars about various adoption issues, including race, identity, heritage, etc. I don’t know where the Donaldson Institute has been—probably too busy advocating gay adoption, unmarried parent adoption, opposing safe haven infant abandonment, and interviewing a lot of unhappy people.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this
Jeff:
Difference
Not all black people did this to you and yet you include all.
True the the symbols of slave error oppression are dead and gone, but their agenda lives thru people like you.
CHECKMATE
By Logically Speaking
May 29, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this
Jeff - your experience is unfortunate though hopefully eye opening. You saw first hand what it is like to be judged just by your skin color. Not fair is it?
By T
May 29, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this
Jeff, If no one has said it, I am sorry these types of things happened to you. No it was not right. However, if we are to see your point of veiw of the wrongful things that happened to you. Then please do the same. It is a scary thing that you are a teacher and believe this type of stereotypical nonsense. I can only hope that you do not spread that type of message the young minds that you are molding. You should learn from that experience, because that is what it feels like to be the minority. Its not right. It needs to change. Do not let that change your view of an entire culture.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this
Karen:
Thanks, but even I have noticed a mostly generational gap within the black community.
Honestly, those old enough to have any memories at all of legal Jim Crowe are, for the most part - Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama, and Bobby Jenkins being notable exceptions - not racist at all. Even though these are the very people I could see as having an actual grievance agains the white community.
Skip down to roughly 30s and below, and you see a LOT more racism coming from blacks. Within this group, the non-racist is the EXCEPTION. Even though these are the very people raised in the same era as myself, when all have equal access by law to anything they want. HOWEVER, the typical attitude I see in many of these people is “You HAVE to let me do x because I’m black.” I point here to things such as Affirmative Action - which to my mind is nothing more than legalized discrimination against whites -, the Genarlow Wilson case, and a case I don’t remember the parties to but was a big deal in Cartersville a few years ago. (In this particular case, some black guys had murdered someone and were being tried for Capital Murder. Jackson, Sharpton, and all the rest came to Cartersville trying to paint these kids as ‘innocent black boys’ even though the police had enough evidence that they had done it to get a conviction 10x over.)
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
It is people like kreese that I can also point to as racist fools.
Point blank: There is NEVER a reason to EVER aggressively touch a teacher. Most white families teach this. Few black families do, in my experience.
Eric:
Enough of the community did it for me to observe that it wasn’t selected individuals yet symptomatic of the entire community. Therefore I include the community, and I do so validly. Note that my experiences have been confirmed on multiple times by black americans not of the specific community in Randolph County, GA, and this only reinforces the validity of my comments. Check Louis Farakhan. Check Jeremiah Wright. Check Jesse Jackson. Check Al Sharpton. Check Barack Obama. Check two females - both with BS degrees from HBCUs - that I have worked with professionally. (One was my team leader in Randolph, the other was a colleague on a National-level board of directors.)
When I was growing up, I only saw this in isolated people of either race, and concluded that it was NOT symptomatic of the entire community, because most other people I knew of the given race shunned the comments made by the few.
This was NOT the case in college and after, and I have since adjusted my stance to where it now is.
By Mary
May 29, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
The Donaldson Institute is a liberal organization (see its advocacy list above). Therefore, its conclusions have to be screened for bias. For example, do its seminars attract unhappy people, while happy people are too busy with their lives to attend events and complain? Agencies already screen parents. Discussions about race, pride, etc. play an important part in international adoption seminars that prospective parents must attend. I’m sure the same is true for domestic transracial adoption. So is this just an attempt to pile on additional uber-liberal sensitivity training?
By Lisa
May 29, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
While I feel like we could have a whole blog on racism, affirmative action, etc. I feel that we are losing site of the purpose of this particular blog. Can we get back to race AND adoption? thx
By E's Mommy
May 29, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
Adopting is a very difficult process- both emotionally and financially. We have an adopted daughter- it was an open adoption, and though we knew the mother, the paterternity was not so clear. We knew our daughter might be biracial, and prepared ourselves. We read books, talked to other parents of biracial children (both biological and adopted), and spent many, many nights disucssing how her race might effect the choices we made when raising her. We were fully prepared to do whatever was necesary to raise a happy, healthy child of any race.I say all of this to make this point: There are already many, many safeguards in place when adopting a child- your entire life is carefully scrutinized. To add one more requirement in the form of some type of sensitivity awareness training is not only unnecessary and unfair, but due to likely enforcement and quality control issues, might be ineffective as well. Parents of biological biracial or multiracial babies are not required to take such training. Adding additonal hurdles only makes it harder for some people to adopt.
By JSP
May 29, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
Slavery. Oh come on. I guess it was just a matter of time before someone brought that up.
By Paul
May 29, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
Eric, You’re a pathetic loser. What does slavery have to do with the topic? Why don’t YOU get over your hatred and take a minute to remove that chip off your shoulder. Well you’re at it, get an education.
By T
May 29, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
I rail on the things that happened DIRECTLY TO ME.
Blacks rail on things that happened GENERATIONS ago, by people that are by and large DEAD.
I was not around for slavery, but no I do not blame you or any other white person for what happened in the past. You should not generalize an entire population for what happened to you. Is that not what you are saying that blacks are doing? If every black person or any other human being told you about just one time they themselves were discriminated against or prejudged. I think you will find that you are not alone. Just dont continue the trend. Your parents went through all the trouble to keep racism away from you. Dont let it enter your heart as an adult. All children deserve a loving home like the one you grew up in.. Again thanks for playing.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this
Jeff:
Genarlow Wilson and a Cartersville murder has nothing to do with transracial adoption. Because of your previous posts just look how far we are off topic.
Honestly, I hope no one has to go thru what you have, but life is not fair. We should learn from our problems, not berate an entire culture of people because you blame them for all the stress in your life.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
T:
Difference being when it is done TO a white, the black community RARELY says ANYTHING about it.
Yet let a white do something TO a black, and all of a sudden everyone is OUTRAGED.
Isn’t that the DEFINITION of ‘double standard’????
(Example, from personal experience:
One of the cases of the physical assault against me: Two black kids - male and female - were fighting. I was across the room when it started. I yelled across the room in my most commanding voice - and I have a deep voice, so it gets VERY commanding - for them to stop and return to their seats. I began walking towards them, continuing to repeat the order for them to cease and desist. By the time I got to them, the girl had the boy in an arm bar. I grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm in order to force her to release the hold - exactly as I had been trained when I had done Juvenile Justice-related work a year before. She proceeds to rake her fingernails across my arm - attacking ME. Unbeknownst to me at the time - I found out about 20 minutes later - she had drawn blood. After she released that hand from the boy to attack me, I was able to physically separate the two combatants. (Re: I basically slung her across the room, as gently as possible. Going for both safety and maximal distance between combatants.
The GIRL was fighting, the GIRL had assaulted a teacher, and all I had done was break up the fight in the exact manner as I had been trained to do - with repeated verbal commands, physical proximity, and finally defensive maneuvers designed specifically to force release and separation.
NOTHING was done to this student, even though the rules on the books said a MINIMUM of 5 days OSS. Instead, Bobby Jenkins tried to fire ME over it.)
By whiteindian
May 29, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this
I am Caucasian-Native American. My husband is Finnish-American. We have been trying to adopt for over a year. We were rejected three times because we have such “racially diverse” backgrounds from the children we tried to adopt. Then, last month, we got a call from DFACS that said if we were willing to adopt an African-American child, they had a list of about 15 children that we could choose from and those children would be placed in our home before the end of the month. The reason there are more African-American children in the “system” is cyclic—mother already has several children by different fathers, oldest is taking care of kids, sees mother’s actions, realizes she can have kids and get paid by the government to have them. There has to be a desire to break the cycle. I want children, but I don’t believe that it would be fair to raise a child in a way to make them give up their own heritages and cultures. If a couple can be comfortable with themselves enough to allow that child the freedom to explore his or her own natural relationships, then the “transracial’ adoption will work.
By peachykeen
May 29, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
Jeff, sorry for your experience, but as a black woman I’ve had the same experiences from whites growing up. I remember going on a school trip to a park in Boston and two white teenagers letting their dogs loose on us. We were only 4th graders and our poor teacher and her son tried to shield us from the German Shepherds. We were terrified, screaming and crying while these boys were laughing and goading the dogs into attacking us. All the while they called us racial names. I am 44 and still remember that day like it was yesterday. But what I remember most is all the other people in the park, white, black, hispanic, Asian, running to our defense and fighting off the dogs. Racism from ANY group is hurtful, but we are not all like that. And, no, we don’t all celebrate young girls’ pregnancies. Please don’t stereotype me and I won’t stereotype you. ON the adoption thing: I don’t see anything wrong with transracial adoptions. But can somebody please teach white folk how to comb black children’s hair? Look at that poor little Zahara. Brad and Angelina need to take a class or hire a black nanny. I’m just sayin’.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
Jeff:
Genarlow Wilson and a Cartersville murder has nothing to do with transracial adoption. Because of your previous posts just look how far we are off topic.
Honestly, I hope no one has to go thru what you have, but life is not fair. We should learn from our problems, not berate an entire culture of people because you blame them for all the stress in your life.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this
Eric (and a few others):
We’re off topic, granted. But not because of my intial posts. Go back and look: My first two posts dealt directly with today’s topic, specifically my second post where I indicated that there should be NO screenings of ANY kind other than a possible felony criminal history check.
It was only when people began attacking me that the discussion veered off.
And besides, it proved helpful. Assuming some of those who have indicated that what happened to me was wrong are indeed black, it does restore a modicrum of hope in me for the black community. Honestly, after my experience in Randolph I feared that people like Bill Crosby and Morgan Freeman were the exceptions in the black community rather than the rule.
By Eric
May 29, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
Paul and JSP
All I have to say to you two is you are the typical losers. You saw one word in my post and that sat you off. You missed the whole point because of your narrow mindness. I am not the only one that should seek more education.
By jmb
May 29, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this
Jeff- enough with throwing out the same names in every blog. It’s obvious that you google just enough information to throw out an opionion that you have no idea about. I say again - your a true idiot.
By FCM
May 29, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
I live in a multi-ethnic extended family. My SIL/BIL include: Hispanic, Black (she does not claim African-American), and Jewish. All of whom are married to whites of Irish or Italian origin. You may surmise that most of the family is Christian or non-denom. Therefore each of the children of these unions is either religiously or ethnically different from each of their cousins. In fact my own children are product of 2 different Christian backgrounds, but are the only ‘white’ Christian granchildren in the bunch!
One day my child announced at the family table that she doesn’t like ‘brown people’…This was shocking as I work hard to raise them ‘color blind.’ I later learned this behavior was coming from some child in the school who refused to play with my child because she wasn’t black—to the point she said she did not like white people. So, I do agree that hatred can be taught by anyone. However, no particular race has a corner on the predjudiced, baised, or culturalism markets.
I stand by the fact that children need to be in loving/caring homes. Whether that is with gay parents (I can’t stand Rosie O’Donnell’s politics but respect her as a parent), single parents, 2 parents, grandparents, traditional, non-traditional, or inter-racial homes. I would gladly adopt a few children (probably older than my own) if I could afford it.
I do however think that because of so many narrow minded people in the world, that families that adopt outside their race have some ‘special’ issues only known to others of inter-racial families of any kind. For instance the in the African-American community, I have seen first hand, shun those they see as an ‘Oreo’ (black skin but ‘acting white’ due to their insides/up bringing). They really need to stop calling Bill Cosby names, and embrace what he is teaching—actually we all should listen to Dr. Cosby. The white community may shun the same child by the way, because while he/she was raised by ‘whites’ in a ‘white community’ (whatever the heck that is—most communties are a melting pot)…b/c of their skin they would be seen as part of the African-American community.
Look at Halle Berry or Barak Obama…they either embrace one side of their heritage (and get called out by the other side) or they get slammed in the press for ‘playing both sides.’ It’s a shame.
My friend Craig was biologically of mixed race. His parents did adopt him as a baby and they are African-American. At some point Craig learned he was adopted and his biolgoical mother is white…Craig identifies with the “African-American community’ by his own claim. However, we talked about this issue once, he said he could never shun or express hatred to the ‘white community’ because he knew that he was part of that in his genetic makeup. He further said that until more people of mixed race were to step up and claim both the hate would continue.
Tocquville said in Democracy of America that only 3 could happen to stop the race hate in America. 1- create a separate country and put all of the African Americans there (not gonna happen) 2- ship these people back to their country of origin (ok then we need to ship me back to Ireland too!) 3-the races would blend until everyone realized they had no room to throw stones.
Well it is taking a lot of time, but evolution and revolutions do take time, but I think option 3 is running it’s natural course.
Sorry for the long post, but obviously I have some strong feelings on the issue.
By LisaF
May 29, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
Jeff,
I’m a black woman and let me say that i’m sorry for what happened to you.
Based off what you’ve described, I’m going to guess you work in a lower income area.
As a black child, I was raised by my parents to be respectful, honest, and hard working. I am a good (IMHO) person today because of them. What you described is something that I’ve noticed in Altanta in poor black areas. Because of the break down in parenting, we have black children that our violent and out of control. Please try not to let the black kids you work with set the tone for all blacks. These kids (having babies way too young, quitting school, violent, disrespectful) are part of the black community but they aren’t all of it. There are many black people who are educated and know how to be part of society.
I have had white people say racist comments to me but I’ve always attributed those hateful comments to them and not to the whole white race.
I think the majority of people (of all races) are good.
By JSP
May 29, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
Eric, I’m a loser? Name calling. Very childish.
Set me off? I’d have to care about your opinion for that to happen.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
Oh, I should probably mention the following, since many appear to think I still work in Randolph:
About a month and a half after the incident with the boy and girl I described above, a male student spit in my face. I sent him to the office. He claimed I had spit in HIS face. Administration believed him!!!.
I left Randolph within a week of that happening, and other than grabbing my gear and paychecks, have never been back to that county in the nearly year and a half since.
I am a very successful programmer now, in a truly professional environment where I am both appreciated and respected. Truthfully, other than the fact that I have a 100 mile one-way drive to work right now, I could not be happier.
Will I ever go back to teaching (which is something I LOVE)? Probably, ut it won’t be K12. If I go back, it will be at the collegiate level.
By Sarah
May 29, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this
I think at the end of the day when you put the child to bed, be the child black, white…mixed, whatever, and you say your good-nights and sweet dreams the child does not care which race the adoptive parent is. They care that they are loved and taken care of.
By Peace
May 29, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this
I don’t think there is anything wrong with Transracial adoption, but I do think White families that adopt Black kids need help understanding how to care for Black hair.
By Jesse's Girl
May 29, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this
Well said Sarah…very well said. I admire any couple…black, white, gay, single even…for choosing to adopt. It takes a special kind of love to see a child, the product of another person, and love them like your own. I wish I had the mind-set to be like that. Alas…the good Lord gave me just enough patience for my own! I still think a little extra “class-time” would behoove anyone who wished to adopt outside their race. But when its all said and done….you are loving a child. You are giving them a life and a chance. Just like any good parent.
By Gerald
May 29, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
Jeff:
So, do you think that from your own singular experience, you are able or qualified to make generalizations concerning the behavior of all other people in this state, country, and on the planet? Especially when other people report different personal experiences? Now I could tell you of my experiences growing up as a black male in rural south Georgia - and those of my father and grandfather - but they are irrelevant to the discussion. Instead the discussion is the need for all races to adopt children of all races from foster care. Are you personally doing so Jeff? Are you personally being a positive influence in this world to those less fortunate and in need of your help? If you are, then I commend you. Otherwise if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem, and for that you would have no one to blame for yourself.
By Gerald
May 29, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
Peace:
“but I do think White families that adopt Black kids need help understanding how to care for Black hair”
Now that was simply outstanding! Don’t they have the “black hair” magazines at the grocery store for that?
By micha
May 29, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this
This has little to do with the adoption issue but seems to fit the overall conversation. My 16 year old daughter broke up with her boyfriend of a year a few weeks ago on the basis that she liked a young man who’s mother is white and father is black. I must add that he’s a very handsome young man too. The problem lies with my ex - her dad and his family. They are firm believers that mixing races is just something that will not be accepted. It pained me to try to explain that to her when there really is no reason at all. I could tell that she understood and didn’t as well. She ended up getting back with her boyfriend but it was not what she truely wanted and it’s still bothering me. Has anyone else been faced with this and if so, how did you handle it?
By Lulline
May 29, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this
You’ve got to be kidding! What does race have to do with wanting to give a child a loving stable home. Too many blacks kids sit on the shelves for years, sometimes into adulthood waiting for someone, anyone to want & love them. Too many of our women are having unwanted babies that end up in the wrong homes being passed around until they end up with the state. If someone truly wants to adopt a child, it shouldn’t matter what race the child is.
We have to fight harder to keep the government from destroying what little hope children have of ever finding a loving home. Adoptions run in my family like wildfire and no matter what race the child is, we always manage to give them the balance they need. We also have friends of other races so there is a lot of role models and playmates to choose from. It’s no different than couples of other races coming together and having their own children. Kds can end up being raised by someone of another race due to their parents divorce, re-marriage, death or abandonment and families deal with those scenarios every day! The biggest heartache for a parent is watching our children being made fun of or being teased so we know how important it is to have a sense of belonging. There’s no silver bullet here, all we can do is pray for the best.
It’s time we get past our destructive mentally and see the good that can come of “cross adoptions”. Life is a challenge but it’s not that difficult to expose a child to their culture. Look around you, the face of the human race is changing fast. We all need exposure and acceptance to make things better.
Bob Marley said it best when he sang, “If you know your history, then you know where you’re coming from, then you wouldn’t ask me, who the heck do you think I am”!
By Eric
May 29, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this
JSP:
I see that you really don’t care about my opinion. You don’t care so much that you posted a response. It is amazing how much criticism one person can lash out, but can’t take it when someone else is critical towards them. LOL!
By T
May 29, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this
Jeff:
Sure its a double standard in that situation and in a lot of them. Unfortunatly, now days the teacher catches alot of c&% no matter his or her race. Things like that happen to many people of all races. You are not alone.
and to peachykeen
yes, please show them how to fix the childrens hair. If someone would have shown my mother maybe I wouldn’t of had to look crazy all the time.
By DB
May 29, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this
My only question is this: What is it, exactly, that white parents are supposed to be teaching a black child that is different from what they would teach a white child?
And here I thought it was enough to teach love, honor, courage, kindness, respect for others and yourself, and to encourage a love of learning, a good work ethic and a sense of responsibility.
Silly me.
By Carl
May 29, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this
Interesting article, but it hits upon a real problem we have in our society. We always group people by gender and skin color. No one can be an individual. My wife and I adopted our son 3 years ago, he’s a wonderful bi-racial child. We intend to raise him without regard to race. He will know he’s adopted and if he has questions about his heritage we will answer honestly. But, we will not stress one culture over another. We want him to succeed because of who he is not what he is. Sure it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
Jeff you are kidding me right? First of all you did attack that girl. You used a technique meant for Juveniles on a young GIRL. Did you use the procedure that the school system taught you to use? I teach now and under no circumstances are we to place our hands on the children in any offensive manner and here you are bragging about how you twisted her arm and slung her against the wall to RESTRAIN HER!! Dude, you need help!! Duh, if you ARE AS BIG as you say you are, why not just RESTRAIN her, she attacked you because you hurt her, duh!!! and with all of these things happening to kids in school these days by adults, yes a childs’ word has creedance-it at least warants a look. It’s like that in most all school systems, Jeff, you still don’t have a valid point you are just expressing your racial overtones, once again you are talking about one person’s experience in a predominanly black sector that has been known for racism, in the past, and you say all black people are like that—its probably reactionary too!!! Dude, you are LOST!!!! But this discussion that I am putting forth is at the heart of the article about transracial adoptions, we dont know enough about each other and quite frankly, according to jeff, all white people have made up their minds and don’t want to know—so biased of me to say that, huh jeff?
By Corde
May 29, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
Come on Jeff… Can you be anymore racist? I am Black and I dont personally know anymore of my kind, LOL that would celebrate a 12 yos having a baby. Please kill the nastiness. By the way, categorizing a total group of people is racist, Idiot!
By Michelle
May 29, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
I love the idea of any family adopting any child. I am a biracial 34 year old woman. I see myself as a mixed woman. My mother is white and my father is black. I always looked at myself as being mixed. How in the heck can I choose that I am either going to be black or white, if God did not make the decision. I figure I am the way God wanted me to be. Now, I am honest with myself, I know people, who actually care about race, see me as a black woman. You know that stupid one drop of blood law, but I think that is really stupid. How can I make that choice. My mother is white and my father is black, how could I denounce either of their races. We as a country put too much into the color of a person’s skin. I think if you want to adopt a child, just as long as you are a GOOD HUMAN, you should be able to adopt ANY child.
By Sandy_G
May 29, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this
The charge is that black children raised by white families would fare better if they were raised by black parents. The problem is even though that “may” be true, if there aren’t enough black families to adopt black children, where does that leave the child? Should black children be raised in a series of foster homes or an orphanage rather than place them with white families?
I’d also like to see the statistics that back up this assertion. Is this something that has been studied and proven? Or is it just an observation based on anecdotal evidence from a handful of adopted children? What are the statistics related to criminal activity, emotional problems, drop-out rates, teen pregnancy rates, drug use, etc. for black children raised by blacks vs. whites? Or are we talking about issues related solely to feelings of “not fitting in” with other blacks, etc.?
I don’t think you can make generalizations based on race (it’s called prejudice or bigotry) and each case should be looked at individually. I mean, come on, we just had a white kid from an interracial family graduate from Morehouse College as the valedictorian, for goodness sake. Here’s a white kid who did quite well in a majority black college. He had a black stepparent and black inlaws from childhood. He faced prejudice from other black students at the college but overcame it.
It just goes to show you that kids are capable of doing anything, if they have the right support from their families. If it’s proven through studies that white families don’t do as good a job of raising black children, then by all means, give white families more education, counseling, etc. or offer them resources to expose black children to their cultural heritage, but don’t keep good families from adopting children because of the color of their skin.
By Theresa
May 29, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this
Hey Guys — the conversation seems to have veered back onto course — try to stay focussed on the topic at hand —- should race affect adoption — should adopting families be educated about another race or how to deal with racism, should they move or make an effort to socialize with people from the child’s race that they are adopting —
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this
kreese:
I had been (at the time of the incident, it has since expired) certified by the state of GA to use the technique I used. And when I was certified, it applied specifically to kids in her age range. (10-18).
As I noted, per training, the proper form is to first force the aggressor to release the hold (which I did), then separate the combatants (which I did), THEN restrain, if necessary. I deemed it unnecessary at the time, as her fury was now directed at me and not the boy she had been attacking.
As far as kids’ words having credence: Any SMART teacher/administrator knows that kids will do ANYTHING to get out of trouble, including lieing their tails off while swearing on a Bible that they are not. To the point that SMART teachers NEVER believe ANYTHING a child says unless an adult can back it up, AND the teacher’s own investigation proves it to be true.
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this
WHOA I see the problem, I just went back and read some of the comments and as I was reading one of Jeffs’, Again, I realized that He is making comments off of faulty information. He said that the Genarlow Wilson case was about murder and the police had overwhelming evidence, well you are totally wrong. the Genarlow Wilson case was about statutory rape, and before you go to convicting him, JEFF, the young girl consented to have sex with him, he was convicted because she was (soph)15 and he was (sen)17. Before you go railing on anything jeff you need to get your facts str8. How can anyone take you seriously and you are talking out the side of your neck. which brings us back to the topic, transracial adoption is difficult because we don’t know enough about each others’ culture and Jeff shows us that some(blk&wht) dont care enough to discover the truth and instead rely on stereotypes, everyone except the valedictorian of Morehouse. He placed himself outside himself and got a broad perspective. Jeff thats the kind of informed individual that needs to be blogging here, not you
By Michelle
May 29, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this
I think just as long as the kids are in a good family, that is all that matters. There are not enough classes in the world to prepare you for racism. Since, I am mixed, my parents just played it by ear. My mom did not know anything about growing up black and my dad did not know anything about growing up white. AND! The defintely did not know anything about growing up mixed. You just learn and deal with everything that you have to face in this world. Just like everyone else does.
P.S. My white mom did my hair way better, then I do my daughter’s hair. My daughter and I have the same texture hair. Like I always say, I was just not born with the hair combing gene. LOL!
By nurse&mother
May 29, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this
I suppose the alternative is to let them sit in foster car as opposed to being adopted. From what I understand there is a huge need for Africa American adoptive families. Does anyone think this would be better for a black baby’s (child, teen) self-esteem?
Children are ridiculed every day for various reasons including short stature, poor background, looks, shyness etc. All children need parents that will assist with this. Teasing/bullying is not race specific.
By Jeff
May 29, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
kreese:
A) I specifically mentioned the Wilson case AS WELL AS another case out of Cartersville where a black man murdered someone. In the Cartersville case, I specifically mentioned that I have forgotten the name of the murderer, but that it was a big deal in Cartersville several years ago.
B) In the Wilson case: It only goes to show that blacks want special treatment for blacks, REGARDLESS of the law. Wilson was CAUGHT ON TAPE committing statutory rape at a time when the mimimum sentence was 10 years in jail, and you can’t TELL me he didn’t know it, because EVERY male near that age in this state does! Yet blacks demanded special treatment, and the black justices of the GA Supreme Court (Chief Justice Sears and Justice Benham in particular) let them have it. Of course, Wilson is now free while a white kid who committed the same crime at nearly the same time - yet was smart enough to NOT get it on video tape - is still behind bars. (Look it up in the AJC archives. Article titled “Court rejected plea that mirrored Wilson’s”, written by Steve Visser and published in the AJC on Oct 14, 2007.)
By kreese31
May 29, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this
Jeff go back and read that case different circumstances, joshua widner had intercourse with the 14 yr old, Genarlow had sex with a 17 yr old, but the 15 yr performed f******. widner accepted his sentence, genarlow, always maintained his innocence and fought,both girls in genarlows case admitted it was consensual, didn’t see tht in Joshua’s case. this is not an example of blacks receiving “handouts”as you claim. I am not trying to offend you but it looks like you are one of those wht guys that feels that he doesn’t have everything that he deserves so blame the blacks!!!!
By nurse&mother
May 29, 2008 5:49 PM | Link to this
Wow! I didn’t proof my past post. Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors.
By Peaches
May 29, 2008 9:25 PM | Link to this
Let me get this right…a qualified and caring couple wants a baby and is glad to take a black child into their home and into their life. They know there will be some special challenges, largely imposed by the ignorant perspectives of outsiders but they desperately want to go ahead with adopting this child. There is certainly nothing racist about this couple.
Now there is someone who releases a report ( not a study of actual damage mind you) who speculates that these children won’t be “black enough”. Who is the racist?
By Peaches
May 29, 2008 9:25 PM | Link to this
Let me get this right…a qualified and caring couple wants a baby and is glad to take a black child into their home and into their life. They know there will be some special challenges, largely imposed by the ignorant perspectives of outsiders but they desperately want to go ahead with adopting this child. There is certainly nothing racist about this couple.
Now there is someone who releases a report ( not a study of actual damage mind you) who speculates that these children won’t be “black enough”. Who is the racist?
By Kickin it with the Mombies, tuesdays at 9 on the WB
May 30, 2008 7:05 AM | Link to this
You almost got to 100 - great job googling the race bait thing - you must be tired - keep googling over the weekend - I think a real writer said they were gonna write something really cool and stuff - if not - do black, ITP SAHM mom’s vs. white OTP working mom’s - who’d win in a jello tub? - anyway great job of googling - totally cool - you totally deserve 2 last names -
By FCM
May 30, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this
@Theresa,
Don’t let the turkey’s get to you. If you wrote about Cholic or the strain of Strep that attacked right before school ended these same turkey’s would complain that it wasn’t interesting. Both would be relevant to Mommyhood but I doubt they would get much traffic.
By Tamu
May 30, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this
Race does matter….. Not only in knowing black history, but also in understand societies ills… being black in america greatly differs from being while in america…the proof is in everyday existence…One should NEVER try to assume that they can raise a black child even though they are white. If done the result is a black child who is lost and who truly don’t know themselves.
By Tamu
May 30, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this
Race does matter….. Not only in knowing black history, but also in understand societies ills… being black in america greatly differs from being while in america…the proof is in everyday existence…One should NEVER try to assume that they can raise a black child even though they are white. If done the result is a black child who is lost and who truly don’t know themselves.
By Katie
June 2, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this
Race should not matter in the adoption process. Tamu, you’re an idiot. If you want to educate a child in the history of the black people, have the child read books. Knowledge is hidden there.
By Lex Luthor
June 2, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this
Simple fact: Race does matter
Proof is in half of the material published by the AJC itself.
By Michelle
June 2, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this
To Jeff - I am Black and have NEVER seen a pregnant 12 year old or know anyone who would celebrate that. Please do not take the single incident you know of and generalize one race to say that “Black people celebrate 12 yos having children”. This statement, for me, negates anything else you have to say.
By atlpython
June 2, 2008 6:55 PM | Link to this
I haven’t read all the comments but did not see mentioned. I don’t understand why african american kids > 12 months old in foster care are automatically considered special needs and come with a subsidy check that an identical child of any other race would not get. It’s like there has to be an incentive to take the african american child > 12 months old.