MOMania

By Jesse's Girl

May 9, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

I think you pretty much covered it! For me…it would have to be the single mom. More specifically, the moms who get pregnant…know they want this baby even if the father is a dud…and they do what it takes everyday of their lives to provide for their child. These are the moms that inspire me the most. The ones that get pregnant young, but still go to school. The ones that find themselves faced with the “mother” of all choices…and they choose motherhood. The ones who drop their babies off at the sitter or daycare in the morning and pick them up 10-12 hours later because they were out making their lives possible. The ones who do it alone and have absolutely no resentment for the child. The ones who sleep with their babies because they love to cuddle with them. The ones who wake up and thank God that they are mommies. These are the moms I am in awe of. They are my heros.

By Thor

May 9, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Single mother’s in general I do not admire. Either it was a bad choice in becoming pregnant by a dud of a dad, or they entered into a marriage which failed - all a mater of choice and decisions. The child does not benefit from a busted up family.

I admire the Mother’s who can keep a marriage working without divorce, a mother who instill discipline, education, respect and comfort.

By PA

May 9, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

I was a preemie. I almost did not survive, but with the will of God, and the love of a wonderful mother, she is probably my best friend. My dad is my other!
Thank you mom, you sacrificed more than I ever thought you could! Love, Pam

By jbean3

May 9, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

All the mothers you listed deserve honor and praise. My mom was a single mom and she had to give up things to make sure I was raised in the best environment. Sometimes it was a struggle, but she taught me how to be intelligent, independent, and strong. Mother’s day is hard for me because my mom died during this time (9 years today).

So, to all mothers - have a beautiful Mother’s Day!!

By DYJ

May 9, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Single mothers. My husband was in the hospital for almost 2 months after our daughter was born, so I got a taste of what single mothers go through. I did it but it was trying and tough.

By Jesse's Girl

May 9, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

Yes, well Thor..please keep in mind that it takes two to make a marriage work. Children can be harmed to a much greater extent if parents stay together in a horrid marriage. Its recognizing one’s own strength as a woman and a mother that has the power to transform a child’s life.

By Monnie Dearest

May 9, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Thank you so much Thor for that sensative comment about single mothers…

What about the single mom whose husband died? How many military moms out there are now faced being a single mom because of death….

No need to comment unless you walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

A single mom does not get up one day and decide “Gee I think I will get pregnant a become a single mom” -

Dr. Thor-Laura take your condesending comments elsewhere…

There are also the mothers who have given up their babies for adoption - the most self-less thing a person can do.

I was raised by a single mom after my father died and when my ex WALKED OUT ON HIS RESPONISILITES I became a single mom - now married again with Bonus children and now grand-children I am grateful to have been so blessed.

God Bless ALL the Mommies!!!

By fk

May 9, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

I have a few to add to the list:

Step Moms: For they love their husbands and all who come with them. Sometimes, they get little respect for they usually have little say in what goes on in the raising of stepchildren, and for those times when they have to step aside and take second or third place in line, or someplace further back. No doubt, it is very hard to bite one’s tongue for years. Many times, they are finally recognized when the children become adults, but sometimes, never. Good for you stepmoms for hanging in there!

Moms of Terminally Ill Children for they carry on and make life “normal” under the most abnormal of all circumstances.

Grieving Moms. The loss of a child is the most unnatural experience for a mother to endure, yet they carry on, facing every difficult moment thereafter.

By AW

May 9, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

You forgot moms who fight cancer and life threatening diseases but throughout remain strong for their families. Happy mom’s day mom!

By JJ

May 9, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Thor……..I’m sorry you don’t respect single mothers/parents. I hope you never become a single parent.

You may eat those words one day.

By KM

May 9, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Anyone who has a child is a mother and every situation is different. Motherhood should not be generalized and put into categories. Sometimes life deals you cards and you have no choice, whether you are divorced, sick, etc. I certainly didn’t. And I am an amazing mother. I was hoping to read a more inspirational article on Motherhood.

By mtc

May 9, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

What about the Mother who gave up her baby? And the Moher who loves that child more than words can say.

By KM

May 9, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Anyone who has a child is a mother and every situation is different. Motherhood should not be generalized and put into categories. Sometimes life deals you cards and you have no choice, whether you are divorced, sick, etc. I certainly didn’t. And I am an amazing mother. I was hoping to read a more inspirational article on Motherhood.

By KM

May 9, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Anyone who has a child is a mother and every situation is different. Motherhood should not be generalized and put into categories. Sometimes life deals you cards and you have no choice, whether you are divorced, sick, etc. I certainly didn’t. And I am an amazing mother. I was hoping to read a more inspirational article on Motherhood.

By KM

May 9, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Anyone who has a child is a mother and every situation is different. Motherhood should not be generalized and put into categories. Sometimes life deals you cards and you have no choice, whether you are divorced, sick, etc. I certainly didn’t. And I am an amazing mother. I was hoping to read a more inspirational article on Motherhood.

By JG

May 9, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

The card to my mom w/flowers today said this:

Happy Mother’s Day and I am sorry for all the crap I put you through all through the years - you will be happy to know your grandchildren are paying me back generously!

She loved it!!

By Nixon

May 9, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

I’m sorry, but to you married mothers, who have had a “taste” of being a single parent…..you still have your hubby and his income, even though he may be over seas or in the hospital. But to really get a taste of single parenthood, try doing it on your income ONLY, with no financial assistance from the dead beat dad……(no matter how many times you have tried to collect, the courts really don’t care).

THAT’s what a single parent has to do. Be both mom and dad, and make due with losing hubby’s income. When 1/2 of your household income isn’t there anymore, and you are solely responsible for everything….then come talk to me about being a single parent.

By publicenemynumberone

May 9, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

What about high school age moms? It has to be tuff to raise a kid and study algebra and stuff.

By Single ATL Mom

May 9, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

I am a PROUD single mom. I am raising my daughter in the best possible way that I know how. I work full time, go to school online part time and run a online business.

I do this with little support from her father and would do it again if I had to.

Thor people like you are the type that need to live a day in my shoes and see what its like. My daughters father told me to “Get rid of it.” Then didnt talk to me until his mom found out.

My daughter is my world. She is 7 makes all A & B’s and is going to be in the TAG program (Talented and Gifted )next year. My daughter does ballet, cheerleading and pageants. She is a well rounded polite child.

So what marriage is needed for my daughter to turn out better??? Seems to me like she is doing just fine.

By Becky

May 9, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

Thor, sorry for whatever has made you so bitter..My Mom & Dad were together until she passed away in 1990..Take it from anyone of my siblings, we would of much rather that they had divorced..So don’t be so hard on single Mom’s (or single Dad’s).. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all..

By dad1

May 9, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

My hats off to those women who truely are single parents but please do not consider yourself single if, Dad is here everyday or you are pushing him out of his child’s life.

I want to be a part of every minute of my child’s life. Sharing my child is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The time I do share with you is for the benefit of our child. Two parents supporting one child is what every child deserves. Even if I can only see my child every other weekend and 2-4 evenings a week.

By JJ

May 9, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

*Single ATL Mom * You go girl…..

By D

May 9, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

mom’s are great. but they don’t need any more credit than they already get, everywhere in society mom’s are portrayed as superheroes, they’re not. a mom that does a good job raising their own kid is a noble person, but still only human. when we raise our children we do it for our own selfish reasons, not for anybody else, maybe to show off to someone else for our own reasons, but they’re our kids for our reasons. I actually think dads need a helluva a lot more credit. men have made monumental changes in their attitudes and behavior towards family life in the last 30 years, however they get very little credit and are portrayed as lazy dopes most of the time. even by women who have fathers and brothers and even sons. also good step-parents deserve a lot more credit than they receive, there should even be a step-parents day. because step-parents have the same responsibilities as most parents but without the automatic love and authority that come from having your own child. they have to do many of the same things and hopefully earn the love of their step-child. that’s a tall order for anyone.

By Thor

May 9, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Kennedy phrased it best: “Success has a thousand father but failure is an orphan”.

Making bad decisions is not a red badge of courage. Getting pregnant prior to marriage (a personal decision or failure of planning), getting pregnant by the wrong man who leaves you or won’t pay the child support (again, a personal decision coming down to free will and your choices). Pregnancy outside of marriage is quite frankly a bad choice with great consequences; it is something which should not be fawned over. Choosing the wrong mate: many people line up with the wrong mate and do not except the fact they made a bad decision; now the child does not have a father.

I applaud Mother’s who wait to get married, wait to see if their marriage is stable before becoming pregnant and making the right choice in a husband and father.

Do not glorify poor decision making for I do not see (in general) a single mom as something to aspire towards. A Mother who has a wonderful marriage (she had to hold it together and make it work), a mother who waits for the right time to have children, and then makes the right decisions while raising the children. That I celebrate, for the choices generated via free will were excellent!

By JJ

May 9, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Why do father’s “allow” the courts to decide how often they get to see their kids. I know there are some very bitter women out there, who “take” the kids from their dads, but if you really don’t like every other weekend, you can change that.

Ever hear of “joint custody”?

And you can take your ex-wife back to court and fight for more time with your kids….

It will also reduce your child support payments……

By Monnie Dearest

May 9, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

Yes Nixon been there done that for 10 years I raised my kids alone with no help - not even from my own family -

Through whatever phase you are in your lives the most important thing to do is be there and love your children…

By publicenemynumberone

May 9, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Hey Single ATL Mom, can you do me a favor? Lets try to break the cycle. Teach your daughter to get married before she mates. Maybe birth control can be one of her talking points in her beauty pagents?

By JG

May 9, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

So Thor what you are saying is that if a husband decides to cheat on his wife and leaves her and the children then it must be her fault for not holding it together it TAKES TWO to make it work and if both the husband and the wife do not work at a marriage and family together by putting God FIRST then you are bound for disaster.

By JJ

May 9, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

JG Didn’t you know it’s always the woman’s fault? We made the bad decisions, we married the jerk, we ended the marriage, we couldn’t make it work, etc……

Let me tell you something Thor, if I had known that my ex was going to be dead beat, do you really think I would have married him? I was 28 when I got married, so I didn’t RUSH into anything.

You really shouldn’t bash single moms on this particular blog. There are ALOT of us here.

And you should never judge anyone, you don’t know their circumstances. I certainly did not choose to be a single parent, but that’s how I ended up. I am gladly playing the hand I was dealt.

Do I regret marrying the jerk? NO, because I wouldn’t have my beautiful child. She was worth everything I went through with him!!

And she’s mine all mine. He chose to leave us and miss out on his child.

I believe a man who runs from his child is a COWARD!!!!

By Single ATL Mom

May 9, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

First of all, I was engaged and planning a wedding when I found out I was expecting.

Lastly, I definitly will tell my daughter to get married before she has children.

What you guys fail to realize is that this is not something that we decide to do. This is something that happens. We should not be attacked for taking care of our kids, we should not be attacked for doing a job that some of the fathers are failing to do. We should not be critize for not doing like so many today and have an abortion and act like it never happened.

We are mothers that half the time get looked down on becuase we are single mothers and mothers day is the one time of the year single or not that we are celebrated.

By Single ATL Mom

May 9, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Publicenemy1,

How about you go to another board to vent your fustrations out on and leave this one alone. Its obvious you are a sad little person that has nothing better to do then to critize what other people do.

GET A LIFE.

By Thor

May 9, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

I have been married once for almost 15 years. My wife and fortunately made the right decision. There is a certain amount of pride in a good, stable marriage for a child. There is also a certain amount of disdain for those who make foolish choices in partners, marriage, etc.

If your man cheats on your or leaves you, please forgive me but you obviously have something off in decision making. A man does not simply cheat; once a cheater, always a cheater. So, this wonderful man you married just went off the deep end? I think not - the flaws in loser dad were there, you just didn’t pick up on it, therefore made a bad decision with consequences.

On the other hand there are way too many men who abandon their kids or skip out on child support; disgusting. A “Man” does not do that to women or his children. Mother’s raise the children - not the dads. Mother’s do the heavy lifting, not the fathers (in general).

If your bozo daddy skipped out, cheated on you, left you, or simply flaked out, obviously there is a flaw in decision making. Perhaps getting married too soon? Perhaps getting married too young? Perhaps falling for passion rather than rationization? If you are left as a single mother you have made poor choices - if you have a long term stable marriage you have made good choices. Personal responsibility; free will is a doozie, especially when children are involved.

By messed up

May 9, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

the woman who had me is the worst mother in the wordl. when i was ten, my father tried to molest me while my mother was in the hospital haveing my brother. i told her about it when she came home, and she threw a knife at me and said i was trying to breakup the family. it came out late that my father plan for is 6 girls was to start a prostitution ring. to this day my mother still blames me for them splitting up. the reason i say this from the time i was ten to now she is very abusive (physically & verbaly.). when i lost my job, i went to her and ask for money to buy food. her answer to me was”you know you have food and i will not give you a dime. so i never celebrate my mother!

By publicenemynumberone

May 9, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

ATL,

My wife is happy. I’m happy, My two kids are happy.

Those of us that didn’t make poor choices don’t have to lower our standards.

You made poor choices, you live with it.

By KM

May 9, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

This is about being a good parent to a child until they are old enough to go off into the world on their own. It is not about who is right or wrong, or who made the better decision about trusting someone when they took a vow. I am a single mother with 3 children, divorced. I don’t need a piece of paper binding me to someone in order to be a good parent. Yes, both parents living under one roof is ideal and what I believe in, but when you have no choice you make the best life you can for them. I wish for my children love and happiness always. Don’t we all want to be happy?

By Single ATL Mom

May 9, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Public,

See thats what I was, am and will continue to do. Live my life, raise my daughter and continue to raise her right.

This is a board to celebrate mothers. Not bash them. Being a mother NO MATTER SINGLE OR NOT. Is NOT a poor decision, its pro-life decision. One that I am thankful every day that I made cause my daughter is worth it.

By youdontunderstand

May 9, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Thor- you do not understand anything outside of your little bubble. No one would choose to be a single mom, the reason they are to be celebrated is b/c they stuck around and did one of the hardest things while the dad just went off and did his thing. No one is here to talk about why people become single parents, we are here to recognize and give credit that life is hard enough and being a single parent is even harder. I’m proud of single parents for keep pushing on and trying to do the best for their kids in a tough situation.

By well, you know

May 9, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

not everyone that has a child or doesn’t have a child is deserving of praise. Stalin and Gary Ridgeway had children and George Washington and Jesus didn’t. it’s hard raising a child, it’s hard being responsible, period. it’s takes a lot of work. but I do praise the parents that have done a good job for their children. it’s a learning process and nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes, just trying to do a good job everyday for your family and yourself is commendable. people have children for their own reasons, not the child’s. maybe it’s to prove they weren’t the reason their own family had so many problems and they can prove that they can do better. maybe it’s to entrap a man or maybe it’s just to become a parent for the status that it brings today. but we have children for our reasons, not for others, it is a selfish thing that we do for ourselves, a gift we give ourselves. so it’s not the most outstanding thing we can do for the world today and another person is not exactly what the world needs more of, either. I see people getting so excited over their birthday and sometimes I just don’t get it, I admit it, because really, how hard was that to do? and how many people were able to do the same thing before ya? and that whole miracle of birth thing, whatever…everybody does it, every animal does it, hell it’s harder to pass the SAT’s then get pregnant or be born. but I do think that good people who do good things for their families and work hard at it are the best. but being a Mom or Dad for whatever reason doesn’t give someone the right to wear a medal of honor without earning it. and don’t ever use your child as a pawn. it’s hard work and it’s a nice thing when you see someone, Dad’s and Step-Parents included, do it well. my Mom was a great Mom in my opinion, she wasn’t perfect, but life didn’t always pitch one down the middle for her. she always tried and she always cared. she did more with what little she had than I ever could’ve believed possible. that’s a great parent. and a great parent is one that will work harder at being a great parent and care less about the credit they’ll receive for promoting themselves as a parent. this is the first Mother’s Day for me without my Mom. I always thought she was wonderful because she was my mom. her absence is a deafening silence. she never needed credit but always gave more. that’s a great mother and that’s what it’s all about. not silly or stupid mistakes you may have made getting to the point of parenthood.

By new mom

May 9, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Geesh…a few days ago we had the working mom vs. SAHM battle. And now the married vs. single mom battle. Great.

Come on, y’all…are single mothers really causing you some inconvenience that you feel the need to attack them? And, on the flip side, am I somehow less of a mother because I have experienced motherhood having my husband with me? I honestly think we ALL need to get a life!

To quote Kramer from a Seinfeld, “Well, this has officially bottomed out”.

By new mom

May 9, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

to “well you know”,

You seriously need to break up that long novel of a post—no one wants to give themself a migraine trying to read that. I know I didn’t bother. life is too short.

Try the “enter” key, located on the right side of your keyboard. :)

By JG

May 9, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Moms are not attacking each other

Thor is attacking the single mothers of this blog because they did not make wise choices and should have visited a psychic prior to getting married to Mr. Wrong - then she would have known that he was perfect and life would never throw them a curveball.

Why isn’t Mrs. Thor on this blog defending that kind of mentality?

I will tell you because she is either curled up in a corner from all the mental abuse or preparing a lovely homemade dinner for you or she is secretly out with her boyfriend spending your money because you are such a wonderful man and a good provider.

Life happens, thank God everyday for it and know tomorrow will be better.

By Jesse's Girl

May 9, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

Two of you in particular really have some issues. Its sad that you have such vapid attitudes towards people who had experiences different from your’s. To all the moms out there….

YOU ALL ROCK! THANK YOU FOR DOING ALL THAT YOU DO EVERYDAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. WHETHER YOU GAVE BIRTH OR ADOPTED…YOU ARE A BLESSING. LOVING A CHILD IS A PRIVLEDGE, BEING A MOTHER IS A PRIVLEDGE. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

By KM

May 9, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Obviously Thor’s wife hasn’t realized yet that she married a loser.

Happy Mother’s Day!

By know

May 9, 2008 5:32 PM | Link to this

damn that new mom is gonna be hell catering to, good luck to her man. she must be a republican what with reading being such a chore for her. just put all your effort into try to raise your child well, that, if you try hard enough, will be all the preaching and teaching you need, Toots, I’m already grown, different than you, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

By new mom

May 9, 2008 6:02 PM | Link to this

This blog is a RIOT!

I actually love to read (real reading, not just this stuff) it’s the strain on the eyes I was referring to!

Thanks, “Toots”!! Your post was hysterical!

Have a happy Mother’s Day, now that you’re ‘grown’ and all.

By new mom

May 9, 2008 6:02 PM | Link to this

This blog is a RIOT!

I actually love to read (real reading, not just this stuff) it’s the strain on the eyes I was referring to!

Thanks, “Toots”!! Your post was hysterical!

Have a happy Mother’s Day, now that you’re ‘grown’ and all.

By know

May 9, 2008 6:11 PM | Link to this

new mom when your child has just lost you 3 weeks ago and this is their first mother’s day without you, do you want some self-righteous person criticizing them for their blogging etiquette, or the fac that they missed a comma or didn’t CAPITALIZE anything? there are so many more imnportant things to focus on and take care of, always cure the cause and don’t whine about the symptoms, you’ll see…and you’ll change, like it or not.

By Mikey

May 9, 2008 6:13 PM | Link to this

sure is sad a new mom and already so old she’s losing her vision and her sense of humor, lots of luck Junior!

By cobbmom

May 9, 2008 6:42 PM | Link to this

I think the thing is that some married moms are bitter because we keep hearing about how tough it is to be a single mom and they seem to get more “props”, while as married moms are portrayed as having it easy. Like we just sit at home sipping margaritas with our girlfriends with our husbands paychecks.
Anyways, I think a big pat on the back goes to the grandmothers who are raising their grandkids out of necessity.

By new mom

May 9, 2008 8:10 PM | Link to this

I’m not sure where my post went, but I wanted to tell “know” that I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. I’m sure that’s hard for you, especially this time of year.

Happy Mother’s day all—even those who aren’t technically mothers, we all give back to others in one form or the other. During the 8+ years of us trying to have a baby, kids we worked with in our youth group would wish me happy mothers day. It was nice to be recognized and thanked, even though the holiday was so hard every year.

We never know what someone else is going through in life, do we??

By motherjanegoose

May 9, 2008 10:31 PM | Link to this

I admire the Moms who truly love their children and would do anything to help them be the best. This often means, stepping back and letting them fail and make poor choices but being there to wipe the tears and offering hugs and support. We give them tools and they choose to use them. We all make mistakes and just when you think your life is perfect $#^! happens.

My own mother was critical, overbearing, obsessive compulsive and never thought I could do anything to meet her standard of perfection. We were not friends. She passed away nearly 13 years ago and we do not miss her…neither my sisters nor myself. It is so sad, isn’t it? I remember bringing her a geranium plant ( for Mother’s Day) when I was small and her telling me this was not a flower she liked. WHO WOULD TELL A LITTLE GIRL THIS? If my children felt towards me as I do my own Mother, I would be crushed.

I am thankful for my nearly grown children and even though we do not always see eye to eye, we are friends and enjoy each other’s company. We have love and acceptance.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who fill the role of Mother and love their children for who they are!

By nurse&mother

May 10, 2008 12:29 AM | Link to this

I have learned over the years to try not to be so judgemental. I have had to eat my words and opinions lately. It is so easy to look from a distance and form an opinion. I am learning to try to view something from many angles.

Happy Mother’s Day to all. I want to wish my friend Shannon an especially happy Mother’s Day. May you one day find out what it is like to be a mother. I am praying that you will one day know such joy!

By motherjanegoose

May 10, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

What is up with that lady in Arkansas that is now going to have her 18th child @ 41?

This is someone who I do NOT admire.

I do not care if they are financially secure…anyone who has that many children is crazy.

You simply cannot give 18 children quality time and I am fairly sure the older ones get the brunt. Do not let the smiling faces in the photo trick you…something is awry ( sp?)here. My youngest sister ( who I love dearly and am very close to…she is wonderful) was a surprise and passed on to me when I was 13 and she was born. Mom thought I could handle her and gave me the responsibility even when she was sick.

What Mother could cook, clean, do laundry, read to, wipe tears, make lunches, pick up and drop off, comb hair etc., for 18 children. Is she NUTS?

WOW…do they ever go on family vacations ( imagine taking them to an amusement park) or even out to eat? How many pizzas would you have to order for take out?

Who will be paying for college and car insurance ( for those of you who are not there yet…it is nearly always more than you expected).

Mind boggling!

By mom of 3

May 10, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

I too admire the military moms who are holding it together while their husbands are deployed. I can’t imagine how tough it is. I also admire the moms who are working hard (either in or out of the home) and still taking time to spend time with their children. As far as Michelle Duggar (mom of 17, soon to be 18) it’s certainly her decision to have all those children and it’s not my concern as long as they are self supportive. She is probably a wonderful mom. However, if she is a great mom it is NOT because she has 17 kids. It’s the quality not the quanity. There are many exceptional moms who have only 1, 2 or 3 children. They deserve just as much attention as she gets.

By Jesse's Girl

May 10, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

I totally agree MotherJaneGoose. They keep having children under the notion that if they keep getting pregnant, then God must be willing it and blessing it. So untrue…God gave us free will. Its up to US what we choose to do with it. Apparently they choose to knock boots:) I have seen their special and the older children raise the younger ones as soon as she is finished nursing. I think she calls them mentors or something like it. The older ones are “assigned” a younger child that they are responsible for in almost every way. They will grow up effectively thinking of their mentors as the ones that raised them….this saddens me. The show potrays without a doubt that the parents do not in fact have time to love on and be attentive to each child. This is not the hallmark of stellar parenting. This is simply a cae of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

By fk

May 10, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Who really holds the hallmark on stellar parenting? What is the right amount of children to raise? Why is a two-parent household better than one? Is it something you read in a book or magazine? There may benefits, yes, but is it better? Who knows? Just because something does not work for you, or if you don’t agree with it, or if you’ve never heard of it before, does not make it wrong. Who is so justified in themselves that they feel they have the right to cast judgment upon others in regards to any of this? It’s one thing to state an opinion that it’s simply not for you, based upon either positive or negative experience, but what gives anyone the right to feel superior to judge others?

I always felt the purpose of this blog was a place for mothers to come together, offer advice or different ideas on how to deal with certain circumstances, etc., not to judge. What happened?

We were talking about Mother’s Day. Why is there any judging going on? IMO, there seems to be some posters out there who have issues that date back to childhood, which have not yet been completely resolved. Perhaps they should work on those issues before tackling the issues of others?

Life is what you make of it. Stop judging and get on with it. Enjoy. Happy Mother’s Day.

By new mom

May 10, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Does anyone else LOVE watching Jon and Kate plus 8? They certainly didn’t plan their crew, but I think they do a great job caring for and loving their kids. Their senses of humor are so sharp—I guess you’d have to be with that many. Plus it makes me think that one baby sure isn’t that hard!

Back before we were trying, (9 yrs ago) I probably would have thought ‘well they deserve to get that many kids, having fertility treatments and all’. Now, on the other side of it, we realized that could have easily been us. We were told that we wouldn’t get pregnant unless we continued on to ivf, since all of our treatments up to that point all failed. We surprised everyone, especially ourselves, when we got pregnant on our own after thousands of dollars spent!

The Gosselin’s story hits home for us—it could have been us, and I hope we would have been as good of parents to six/eight as we are to our one and only.

For those of you out there who are trying, and who know that Mother’s day is a difficult holiday to get through, please don’t give up. Don’t lose that desire to love and care for a child, because, be it natural, adoption, etc., you may still be a mommy.

Mothers come in all shapes, flavors, styles…and I think the common thread is LOVE.

If you have a female in your life who has helped you by setting an example, being a mentor, etc., don’t be afraid to wish them happy mother’s day too. We ALL need all the love we can get :)

By new mom

May 10, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Well said, fk. :)

I used to enjoy this blog when we weren’t so busy attacking each other and our situations, or the ‘who has it worse’ contests.

Can we get back to the advice, ideas, encouragements, and thoughts on ‘how to get through the day’?

Happy Mother’s Day! :)

By deidre_NC

May 10, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

thor and public enemy need to shut up

HAPPY MOTHER”S DAY to ALL the women who love and nurture any child whether it is their child or someone else’s-and the all the mothers single or married or whatever. anyone who love and helps a child is a blessing-man or women—its just the day to honor WOMEN-men have their own day…

By motherjanegoose

May 10, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Thank you Jesse’s Girl for agreeing with me…NO Mother can be effective with 18 children and what in the world is she trying to prove. Perhaps the publicity is what she is seeking? Is this really a contest?

I DO have issues ( from childhood)FK and this has helped me be a better parent by not doing what was done to me. There are those who grew up in poverty and vowed to get an education and make something of themselves…because of issues they had as children…good for them.

EVERYONE HAS ISSUES…open your eyes!

Ny husband grew up with 2 parents who are still alcoholics and ( because of these issues) he is fine tuned to the devastation this causes….he knows leaps and bounds more about this ( than me) and how to recognize those who may be hiding this to others. He is GREAT with our children and will be honored for Father’s Day. A complete turn around from his upbringing, as are his siblings who are all involved in their own children’s lives.

GEE why do we study history…so we can learn about ISSUES that we do not want to repeat.

We have forgotten one spectrum of MOTHERS who need to be praised…that is TEACHERS!

These are the dear souls who tie shoes, wipe noses and butts… dole out ice cream money to those children who never have any, praise and hug those who never hear it at home, lend a listening ear and sponsor school trips as chaperones. HATS OFF TO THOSE WHO SERVE AS MOTHERS TO THEIR STUDENTS….bless you!

I enjoy reading the majority of these posts and most times it is enlightening to realize that there are many different types of folks who have different ideas about what is right. nurse and mother mentioned something to the fact that as you get older you tend to open your eyes about things and ( hoepfully) look at the bigger picture…that is so true!

As I mentioned before, when you travel across the country…you learn that the world is bigger than our I tiny) perception in metro Atlanta.

Last week, in South Dakota…a billboard:

FISH GAME FOWL… say no to animal activists… I chuckled as I passed this and thought we would NEVER see this in Atlanta…nor the pheasants that were running freely next to the road.

By fk

May 10, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

You certainly can’t change the circumstances into which you were born, but you can overcome them. And, that is truly an awesome accomplishment. However, does one’s own success story somehow give one the authority to sit in judgment of others?

You acquire knowledge not only from books, but from one’s own experience along experiences of others as well, if one listens with an open mind. And, if you are a truly a good communicator, then you are able to pass the knowledge along. Knowledge is power, but when you intermingle it with personal judgment, the lesson tends to get lost in the mire. There is a difference between opinion and fact.

By Peecee

May 10, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

I wish I could hold my mom one more time and tell her (belatedly) how much I love her. But, that’s not to be since she has long ago departed this world. I put many a gray hairs in mom’s head and have regretted it every day of my life since. I will never know or experience the love a mother has for her son (or daughter), but I pray every day and ask the Good Lord to please forgive me for not loving her more and showing her that I loved her. However, Happy Mother’s Day to you who are mothers; God knows your sacrifices and will forgive your offspring. To my mom in Heaven (yep, she’s there!): Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven…you go girl! Your son…

By nurse&mother

May 10, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

Amen FK on your 10:21 post.

As for Jon & Kate, I like to watch it, but Kate seems like a little bit of a smart a$$ who doesn’t have a lot of respect for her husband. I think she seems a little like a control freak. She gives off the air that she likes having the “perfect” family. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jon snaps one day! LOL

Not necessarily judging, just giving my humble opinion since someone asked.

By wouldn't you lke to know

May 10, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

To “Mother Jane Goose”: I feel so awful for you! What kind of mother could say such things to a child who offers a flower?No child should have to go through that. My own mother growing up was an alcoholic, but at least she was kind when she wasn’t drunk. And guys, keep the hate mail out of this blog! It’s fine in the Vent section, but this is about Mother’s Day!

By wouldn't you lke to know

May 10, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

To “Mother Jane Goose”: I feel so awful for you! What kind of mother could say such things to a child who offers a flower?No child should have to go through that. My own mother growing up was an alcoholic, but at least she was kind when she wasn’t drunk. And guys, keep the hate mail out of this blog! It’s fine in the Vent section, but this is about Mother’s Day!

By wouldn't you like to know

May 10, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

To “Mother Jane Goose”: I feel so awful for you! What kind of mother could say such things to a child who offers a flower?No child should have to go through that. My own mother growing up was an alcoholic, but at least she was kind when she wasn’t drunk. And guys, keep the hate mail out of this blog! It’s fine in the Vent section, but this is about Mother’s Day!

By wouldn't you like to know

May 10, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Sorry for putting my last comment 3 times - my computer must have glitched.

By Jesse's Girl

May 10, 2008 5:55 PM | Link to this

FK….not judging by any means. But if you have to give over responsibility of your youngest children to the older ones…which they indeed do…then it may be time to entertain the notion that you have officially had enough children. I do not doubt her heart or spirituality…but in my opinion, she has missed the boat on the whole quality over quanity lesson. As for Jon and Kate….they all do a remarkable job…but I agree, she is a bit over the top. Then again, she does have 8 children. And she does assume the crux of the responsibility for their care. I might be a freak too! Happy Mother’s Day all!!

By WOW

May 10, 2008 5:55 PM | Link to this

Thor, if I had not been on my second stiff margarita then I would think I was hallucinating while reading your posts. However, there are multiple posts from you so I just really do not know what to say. Your logic is very, VERY disturbing and THOROUGHLY uninformed! WOW!

By Voice of Reason

May 10, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this

Note to ALL AJC BLOGGERS: Just click “Post” ONCE, and then wait. At the bottom, it should say, “There will be a delay of up to 5 minutes before your post clicks in,” not before it “appears.” It does go through; it just takes forever to “click.”

By DB

May 10, 2008 7:50 PM | Link to this

So, exactly WHY is it that mothers get all this gooey treatment every year? I have to admit, I never understood Mother’s Day — seems to me that many of the mothers I know celebrate Mother’s Day, ironically, by getting AWAY from their kids (a “day off”, the spa, etc., etc.) Did someone’s mother feel unappreciated, and decided to make the rest of the world feel guilty?

I finally called a moratorium on Mother’s Day a while back — thank me by working hard in school, by making good choices, by being a caring individual, by showing me, every day, that I did something right when I raised you :-). I don’t need a special day to pseudo-celebrate a basic biological function. My thanks come from snuggles on the couch during a movie, from the kiss on the cheek before they leave for school in the morning, from a surprise pan of brownies cooling on the stove when I get home from work … nothing you could do on the second Sunday of May could possibly be any better than that.

By Lauren

May 10, 2008 8:29 PM | Link to this

I just went to watch my oldest daughter dance in her annual recital along with my other children, my husband and his mother and my mother. It was such a proud and happy day. My daughter was so beautiful in her dance we had so much fun together as a family. My husband and I both have wonderful mothers who continue to shed love and light onto their family. We are very lucky. I am so happy right now. I wish that everyone could feel this kind of joy, not just on Mother’s Day, but every day. Family brings so many smiles and, though it is very hard work sometimes, I would not trade this life for any other. Love to all on Mother’s Day!

By Jeff

May 10, 2008 8:53 PM | Link to this

It will be interesting to see the comments for Father’s Day. After being bombarded by ads to buy everything for the woman in your life for Christmas, Valentine’s and now Mother’s Day, I predict a complete silence on Father’s Day. I love my mom but would just like a little reciprocity and respect on Father’s Day. We’ll see how you women behave and show the respect you so eagerly demand then.

By Jeff

May 10, 2008 9:24 PM | Link to this

You forgot about moms who bat left handed on Tuesday nights in a home game against right handed pitchers. Seems like we included everyone else, so I thought I’d throw that in.

By DB

May 11, 2008 12:14 AM | Link to this

Jeff, when you’re a dad, you can have all the respect you deserve… :-)

By nurse&mother

May 11, 2008 1:07 AM | Link to this

Motherjanegoose- Have you read “Raising self-relient children in a self-indulgent world”? It is a great book that I just finished reading. It is geared to parents as well as teachers. If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to.

It was recommended that I read it to help me be a better parent. It starts out comparing pre-WWII society with today. One of the points that one of the co-authors states is that children that lived in the pre-war era were needed to help their family survive (work on the farm, help mom with necessary chores etc). They had a purpose in life (although not many opportunities) whereas the baby boomer generations (and into today’s younger generation) don’t seem to have much of a purpose. When talking about the Duggers, this book comes to mind.

While a few months back I would have agreed with you, after reading the book I am forced to rethink my opinion. I’m not sure that I agree completely with Michelle Dugger and the Dugger philosophy, but I think that she may be onto something. Her children are needed and vital to their household. If someone doesn’t do their part, it will negatively impact the family. These children probably have a very strong sense of self worth and are probably good decision makers.

Long story short, it is a great book if you haven’t had a chance to read it yet. It has much more info besides the comparisons with pre and post war eras. It is chock full of examples on how to help your child think for him/herself, make decisions, think about consequences of actions etc. I plan to buy a copy and give it to my daughter’s school for their repertoire (sp?).

By Jeff

May 11, 2008 2:00 AM | Link to this

Actually, I am a father to a wonderful five year old little girl. But the arrogance that are displayed by women now a days shows that the whole self-esteem issue from the early ‘90’s has more than been resolved. I am a great father and learned from my father how to be a real dad but there seems to be so few good and honorable women left. Check that, there are so few good and honorable people left, both men and women. But I’m sick and tired of being beaten up and disrespected by women who are the most sexist people in the world right now. We are all equals and deserve to be treated as such.

By Emily

May 11, 2008 8:21 AM | Link to this

Jeff, you sound like a very bitter and unhappy person. Thanks for spoiling the mother’s day blog with your bellyaching and griping. If you feel so beaten up and disrespected then why do you spend so much of your free time on a mom blog. You are a loser. Come to grips with it.

By Db

May 11, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Hmm — a different Jeff from our regular, recently-married Jeff? If so, apologies — we often tease him about his opinions on raising children, by pointing out that the best-laid battle plans tend to fall by the wayside when confronted with the enemy!

I am a woman, early 50’s, who long ago realized that while women’s lib may have helped in the workplace, I’m not so sure it was a blessing on the relationship front. Somewhere along the line, it seems like both sexes have confused “personal freedom” with “personal irresponsibility”, and the concept of “personal happiness” became more important than commitment and vows.

By nurse&mother

May 11, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Jeff as tempting as it is, please don’t label all women as sexist. By your counter remarks, you are doing the same thing that you don’t like. I realize that there are lots of prejudiced people, but not everyone is. Just as you don’t like being disrespected, neither do I. I am sure you are a great father.

By LN105

May 11, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

I’ve never commented on this blog before but I’ve been “lurking” for a while. Back to the original question: “what moms do you admire most?”- I would have to say my mom.

I was born w/ a heart defect and 75% binaural congenital deafness (which the doctors didn’t realize and didn’t believe I had until my mother forced them to give me a hearing test by entering me in school a year early- apparently testing was not done in the late 70’s where I lived and you could only get tested if you were in school.)

She barely slept during my first year because she had to monitor me constantly and feed me every hour since I couldn’t eat very well. And she had to constantly drive me 2.5 hrs each way to the nearest major Children’s Hospital for my doctor’s appointments.

She taught me how to speak and refused to let people speak “baby talk” to me (and apparently p** some people off in the process by insisting they speak normally and directly to me), and I’ve had doctors/voice teachers that were astonished upon learning of my hearing impairment and every one of them has literally said “kudos” to her for doing what she did.

She chose to raise me in the hearing world so that I would have more opportunities and by that, created a lot more work for herself. (Oh, at one point she also had to nurse my brother for several years through severe migraines while she was dealing with my issues.)

She got me through some extremely rocky years during junior high when I literally didn’t think I would survive. She encouraged me to learn and explore beyond the limited horizon of my hometown. When I changed my major from business to the arts in the middle of my junior year of college, she was the only one in my family who was supportive. When I moved 13 hours away after graduating college, she surprised me by showing up at my doorstep when she sensed I was homesick.

This is just an abbreviated list of why some mothers deserve to be remembered. True- some don’t deserve the title and it’s also true, that it’s “all in a day’s work for a mother (or parent/parental figure. When Father’s Day rolls around, believe me, I’ll be praising my Dad here too.)

What makes my parents even more special is the fact that they come from families where it would have been so easy for them place blame/responsibility elsewhere instead of making the decisions they did.

To the Trolls who keep on bashing people- GROW UP! We all make poor or downright bad decisions at some point- if you say you don’t, you’re a liar. What matters is what we CHOOSE to do afterwards- accept the responsibility or go on being an immature brat and blaming others. Stop volunteering to cast the first stone.

My apologies for the length of this post. Now you know why I generally CHOOSE to lurk. :-)

By nurse&mother

May 11, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

LN105 what an inspiring post! Last few paragraphs are right on. Sounds like a truly exceptional lady. Happy Mother’s Day to all!!

I am having a great day spending it with my dear husband and two wonderful children. I am thankful for the beautiful day, healthy family and no major problems.

By tswope

May 11, 2008 7:05 PM | Link to this

This actually hits me in two places … I’m a single mom with a special needs child. I have three children, the oldest of which has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is so nice to know that there are people who recognize and appreciate the problems we encounter. Thank you. And Happy Mothers Day to all moms out there!

By motherjanegoose

May 11, 2008 7:39 PM | Link to this

nurse and mother: I will go out and get the book you recommended and thanks!

FYI…I grew up in the the era of doing work and actually did chores on the farm. I mentioned this before and got ridiculed of being married to the farmer in the dell. It infuriated me as those who have never pulled their weight on a farm and shop with a snooty attitude at Whole Foods HAVE NO IDEA the hard work rural folks put in so that we all can have food on our table. It is NEVER a picnic.

Back on topic…I believe in rearing responsible children and my own son began with his own car payments at 16 and had his car paid for in 3 years. My daughter buys most of her own things she wants with the $$$ she has earned from various part time jobs. She even works for me. I agree that children today are not responsible as they are reared in a self indulgent and self oriented society ( by Moms and Dads who are going to be sorry later). I do not feel that having 18 children and pawning the younger ones off on the older ones is the answer. Just my opinion. Today, in church, I read this verse and thought of the column: Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is the people parish…

While each of the contributors do not always agree eye to eye…this is a tremendous opportunity where we offer counsel, in our areas of expertise!

By nurse&mother

May 12, 2008 2:09 AM | Link to this

Motherjanegoose- The book may not be as enlighteing to you as it was to me. I bet with your background and education, (not to mention experience) you probably already subscribe to the authors’ ideas.

After reading the book, I thought,”boy have I screwed up as a parent”. My husband and I joke that maybe it’s not too late to be good parents for our two year old. LOL.

I am already incorporating some of the ideas into everyday use. I have noticed some positive results with my nearly 11 year old. I certainly don’t expect miracles, but anything positive (no matter now big or small) is good. I think it is helping to open communication between us as well as make her feel respected and feel that she has choices. We are doing pretty good about eliminating the power struggles and screaming (most of the time). I feel better and she feels better. It is definitely a work in progress, though. Sorry for the ambiguity. I am just trying to be concise.

Anyway, let me know what you think. I felt like I learned so much, I have been telling all my co-workers about it. Hope you had a good Mother’s Day.