MOMania

By Jane

May 1, 2008 8:25 AM | Link to this

Have done this for years with the family and in all honesty it has provided some of the best memories of the family ever! The kids love the fact that we played with them and went swimming etc. Bedtime not an issue - we started this when my children were 2 and 3 and continued when my sister had her three. I have some of the most remarkable photos of the kids sitting on the balcony watching the ocean view in the early morning when the sun comes up and in the evening when the sun was going down. Photos of the grown ups having coffee while the kids cut up and played. Lots of laughter from all age groups. Just go with an open mind and have fun! My son now has two boys and we have done this with them for a couple of years and the new granddaughters will be joining us this year. We will be doing Great grandparents, parents, our kids/spouses and now our grandchildren (4) this year. I can’t wait! The boys are really excited about helping with the cousins and being able to swim - they each have a day they get to decide what we do - SWIM is the most predominant activity with them.

By JJ

May 1, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

If it’s for a week, 9 people in a three bedroom condo would drive me up the walls. Too many people, and there really isn’t enough room, especially if 5 of those 9 are kids.

The place will be a constant mess, and the noise level would be more than I could stand.

I would definately get two condos!!! I like having my own space too. Especially if you are going for a week.

Now if it’s like a three or four day weekend trip, then I would be ok. But a week, in a small condo, with 8 other people would drive me to drink heavily.

By GL

May 1, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

This does sound like a recipe for disaster. My SIL and her husband rented a vacation condo in Orlando last year for themselves, their 3 girls (ages 6,8,10) and another couple with 2 girls (ages 8 and 3). It was a nightmare!

My spouse and I came by on a day-trip to visit and were so glad to be able to return to our own home that night. The condo was spacious enough but it was a condo and the noise just could not be contained.

The girls spent most of the day playing outside at the pool but would keep running back and forth, in and out, just being excited kids.

The worst was at the end of the day when everyone was tired and getting hungry, they all got so irritable…were impatient waiting for dinner to arrive (delivery food was much smarter than going out at this point!) and started fighting over crayons for their coloring books.

The bedrooms were “split” as follows: B1 - SIL & BIL with 6 year old. B2- Couple #2 with 3 year old. B3 - the two 8 year olds and the 10 year old.

If done properly and with a ton of patience, it can work but it just didn’t turn out that pleasing in the case of my family.

By Thor

May 1, 2008 8:44 AM | Link to this

Against our wishes, we tried this experience once - never again. Most families are bizarre and messed up (mine included); throw everyone in close quarters for a week, toss in rain, add booze, old issues start resurfacing - Kaboom! You can pick your friends, you can’t pick your relatives. Add in some tension from a couple who is arguing, and you’ll be guaranteed an experience you won’t forget. If you pack a lot of relatives with small children under one roof, you’re striking matches around open containers of gasoline.

By fk

May 1, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

We’ve done vacations with both sides of the family. We did Disney with six of my siblings and their children, 17 total. We stayed between four condos and it all worked out for us. We did the Disney parks for a few days together, splitting up to go on age appropriate stuff, but met up often and spent most of the time together. We did other things, too, and not always as a big group. It was a fun and memorable vacation. Since that went so well, we decided to do a vacation with my husband’s side. Things went a bit differently.

We rented a big house, 14 beds, at Ocracoke Island, Outerbanks, NC. It’s beautiful there. I am a true beach person. I could watch the ocean all day long…and I would not mind doing it by alone. I like to go to the beach, go for a long walk along the shore, then plant myself in a chair, converse or read. We brought lots of beach gear for the kids and expected to have a nice time.

When living in close quarters, you sometimes learn more about people than you want to know. The three year old was still walking around at 11 pm, whining. They let him roam the place till he fell asleep. Whining was contagious with this set of kids. By ten, the seven year old was whining. Same routine every night. My kid alarm goes off at 9pm—-they should be capable of entertaining themselves or in bed at that point. That’s adult time for us.

For some reason, they felt that everyone had to spend time together. It was too much together time. So long as we had excursions planned, we did fine. We went out on a fishing boat and did a few other things. There was only one day or two that absolutely nothing was planned except going out to dinner. My husband’s sil brought their video game system and their boys had difficulty understanding the concept of sharing with their cousins. I just could not understand why anyone would encourage a child to sit in front of a TV when there was so much beauty and fun things to do outside. They could play that stupid game at home.

A few of the adults started happy hour everyday at noon. And, that’s not a big deal, we were on vacation after all, except for the fact that they were pretty well sloshed by dinnertime and someone had to take care of their kids…our house was right on a canal.

By AZ Mom

May 1, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

We vacation every year with family at the beach. There are 4 kids ages 2 through 10 and 6 adults. We rent a 4 bedroom house at the beach and it works out fine. Most nights the kids were exhausted from playing at the beach and pool that they barely made it though dinner. There was enough space and adults to watch the children at any given time. Yes, the noise level was a bit much some times, but it’s only for week once a year and the kids have a blast with their cousins. The only time there is a problem is unpacking and packing because everyone is trying to get out of the beach area the same day and the same time so trying to contain the kids and pack has been a challenge. Otherwise it’s always worked out.

By D

May 1, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

Sounds like fun to me. Too bad the husbands won’t be able to join in. A family vacation always requires Dad. Haven’t you seen National Lampoon’s Summer Vacation?

By MOT

May 1, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

As you can read, it really depends on you, your comfort level, what you are open to, and your expectations.

Our family LOVES to be together, and if we have to squeeze up for it to happen we will. If you can afford the extra space then just get it and not fret over it. If you can’t then, it helps going in with an open mind, with prepping everyone, like ahead of time talking to fellow roommates about schedules: kids in particular. Activities: kids/adults. The more you organize ahead of time then the smoother it will go. I have never known any kid, and I have know quite a few, to never be ready to hit the bed after a day of sun, and water and sand. If you allow them to play hard during the day, they should be falling asleep as their little sweet heads hit the pillows—yours and your sisters.

I too know the best memories are those times we have all been together in close quarters and have had such a blast, whether it is talking, playing games—kids and adult games and mixed, enjoying good food, fun outings, the best memories are those. Not many families get the opportunity for cousin bonding and closeness these days.

By Tosha

May 1, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

My family has done this for the past 11 years and we wouldn’t trade it for anything. We gave a condo in Hilton Head and we go every year with 10 adults and 5 kids (two 12 yr olds, two 7 yr olds, and one 2 year old). Last year my aunt and uncle bought a retirement home there so that freed up some space for us, but we still love it and look forward to this vacation every year. Of course every year we have the family arguments and the kids do what normal kids do, but isn’t that what family is about? We grew up a very close family and have moved all around and this is the one time of year that we can all get together and enjoy spending time together as a family. This may not be the ideal situation for every family, but I think it’s safe for me to speak for my whole family when I say we wouldn’t trade this yearly experience for anything in the world. As a matter of fact I’m counting down the days until we leave as we speak :)

By JJ

May 1, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

FK I’m with you, a true beach lover. My childhood was spent at the beaches in southern California. I have been to the beach at least once a year since I was 2. I’ve been to the Pacific, the gulf, the Atlantic and dipped into the Carribean.

I too could be alone at the beach. One of my goals is when my daughter gets settled in college, probably her second year, I plan on taking my two dogs and renting a house down in St. George Island for two weeks. Just me and the dogs……I am SO looking forward to that.

By Jesse's Girl

May 1, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Theresa…you have just as many kids as I do. Take it from someone who has lived through this…..DON”T DO IT!!!! Its not enough space. You’re better off renting a 5 bedroom house or getting 2 condos. www.vrbo.com has some really good last minute deals on houses, with pools even! Trust me, when you guys come back in form the beach or pool and the younger ones need a nap…and they will…it will be so stressful for the older kids because they will have to be quiet and remember the baby is sleeping. Its so much easier when they have room to roam and not be muffled. Its their vacation too!!

By Together for 12

May 1, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

If you think the younger ones will need a nap, better think again.. YOU will too! My family a few years ago did a 2 bedroom condo at Disney. My sister & I and our hubbies shared one room with 2 bed. Parents got the other. At 3 p.m. EVERY DAY, we left the park to go back to the condo and get a snack and relax. We usually ended up taking an hour nap! That’s 6 adults with NO kids who were tired out and needed rest. I can’t imagine adding a bunch of kids to the mix and not being even more tired!

If you dare to do this, you & the folks you share the condo with MUST to have an agreed upon schedule of when the kids go to bed, when everybody should be up by, when the youngsters have to take a nap or have quiet time, etc. Everybody KNOWING the plan will make it a lot easier.

By mayretter local

May 1, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

When renting condos and homes and such, one should always remember to be respectful of the owner’s occupancy limits. There’s close quarters, and then there’s cramming everyone into a space that’s not intended to house the whole clan. Depending on the situation, you might get asked to leave and be out your money due to breach of contract.

By not related to health

May 1, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

How is this related to health?

By Grandmachick

May 1, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

We rented a huge 4 bedroom 4 bath home on St George Island one year. There were 7 adults and 5children. We had one 5 month old and 3 6 year olds and one 11 year old. It was Grandparents children/spouses and Grandchildren. The best vacation we ever had. It was a blast.

By Stacey

May 1, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

I grew up in a large family with two generations of kids in the same age group, it doesn’t arrangement doesn’t seem at all unreasonable for a week’s vacation. We never really took family vacations when I was growing up (couldn’t afford them) but we would rotate spending a week at a time with different cousins. We would sleep three to a bed & sometimes even on pallets on the floor and we loved it! When we go “back home” to visit, it is usually still like that because since we a scattered throughout the country now, we often try to plan the trips for the same time and everyone will just stay at a house or two. We don’t do a lot of sleeping anyway.

On the otherhand, if you really believe that this arrangement would be too stressful for you (and yours), go ahead and spring for separate hotel rooms. There’s nothing worse than spending a lot of money for what should be a vacation only to wish you were at work where you can have peace and relaxation. :-)

By JJ

May 1, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

not related to health Let’s call this one MENTAL HEALTH!!!

So it is health related…..

By fk

May 1, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

JJ: I cannot imagine foregoing the beach. I miss it. My husband and I take a quick trip to HHI for our anniversary in the fall, just to get that last glimpse before winter comes. We go to LI every summer to see family—-and the beach…and at least every other year at Christmas. Even in the dead of winter, we’ll take a ride down to the beach so I can get a dose of serenity and sanity. When my son was younger, during the summer, we’d spend 4-5 weeks on LI, going to the beach and hitting the pool at my sister’s almost everyday. My husband is a beach convert, but he would only stay two weeks.

Here’s looking ahead to summer!

By Mattie

May 1, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

My oldest is 22, and we have been doing large family vacations every two years since he was born. I have 6 siblings, my parents, and there are 13 grandchildren involved. The key to making it work is making sure everyone has a bed, and all the adults have a bedroom. It was totally worth it for the kids though, the cousins, who live across the country, have remained close as they’ve grown. Now that some of them are married, a 4th generation will be joining us this year in FL. We’ve rented a house that sleeps 28. Honestly, I find a week with my entire family tiring, especially during an election year, since we have very different opinions on the candidates, but we can argue about the Yankees vs. Red Sox on the off-election years just as heatedly. If it was just for me, I would go for a couple of days instead of the week. But, it’s for my kids, and for them to spend time with their grandparents.

By mom3boys

May 1, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Although it gets hairy at times, we’ve done this with another family…total of 9 in a 3 BR condo. Last time the kids were 14, 11, 7,6, and 5. Honestly, I had more issues w/ the other adults! This year we have a 2BR just for the 5 of us (we found it on www.vrbo). We invited the other family to rent their own place and come on down…the kids are 20, 18, and 12…they have no interest in sharing space w/ someone else’s kids. It’s way easier to do this when everyone is little. Year ago we rented a 3BR w/ 8 adults and 5 kids…that was a trip!!!

By deidre_NC

May 1, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

i have worked at a family resort for the last 5 years and have watched many family reunions take place-some of the families were fine in crowded spaces—some actually would call before hand and make sure their cabin wasnt near so and sos…pretty funny really things things i would hear. i think 2 3 bedroom cabins or a much bigger (5br) house would be much better. thats a bunch of young kids-you know they wil be fighting at some point which can be a disaster between the parents too-at one family reunion i very nicely told my baby brothers little boy to sit still unti he finished his sucker-he was running around like a madman as kids do with a sucker in his mouth..i am 11 years older than lil bro and thought nothing of my advice to the little one—my bro got mad as a hornet—-anyway-we were so crowded and i wished for somewhere to go away for a minut (or day)…anyway…not many families really thrive in such closed spaces…get something bigger!!

and have a BLAST!!!!

By Jess

May 1, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

When I was growing up my whole extended family always ventured to Myrtle Beach and stayed in side-by side beach houses on the Isle of Palms.

Extended family was just that, a lot of people. One house always had my great-grandparents, my grandparents and my aunt and uncle who never had children…so around 6 people in a 3 bedroom house.

The other house had all of the people with children and then the children. We are talking 8 or so adults and 15 children…in one house! It was wild. The house usually had 4 bedrooms and the adults were paired inthose rooms. Then the kids brought sleeping bags. The younger ones had to sleep inthe room with their parents. Once we got to around 10 we got to sleep in the main part of the house with the other kids - or sometimes- on the back screened porch if we were lucky.

I remember it always being a great time, although I was a kid. I am not sure what the adults thought but we did this year after year. I guess it wasn’t that bad!

By C'mon

May 1, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

It’s not about you!!! It’s about the kids. They’ll remember running around with their cousins making a racket the rest of their lives. So you lose a little sleep, there will be some messes, and it will be bedlam. Don’t be one of those self-centered, control freak parents; let the kids run and play with their cousins, and they’ll thank you for it.

By dc

May 1, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

A large family vacation is not staying in a hotel or a condo or townhome. A large family vacation is staying in larger home, and most importantly to stay in an area that is off the beaten path for a true family vacation. We like going to St. George Island in the bottom panhandle of FL, now that is a true family vacation spot.

By Thor

May 1, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

I am 40 years old, myself and only child, and we have one 8 year old boy. Going on vacation with my wife’s family we won’t do again. Too many children hitting, yelling, screaming, and a toddler who liked to take his poo-poo and smear it on the wall. It rained for three days so people started drinking earlier; big mistake. Try sitting on the couch all afternoon with a father-in-law who likes to watch bad TV (the marathon session of Murder She Wrote) or try speaking with an idiot brother-in-law who is only capable of carrying on a conversation about football or his job - with screaming kids all around. A 9 year old elected to clog the toilet with his paper adventure. Mother-in-Law is a terrible cook but the family was afraid to have anyone else cook as it would “hurt her feelings”. Parents who did not insist on kids washing their hands before dinner, then watching the little no-neck monsters touch and pick up rolls, corn, etc. One drama queen mother who was having a personal crisis and had to have attention paid to her while she dumps the kids on someone else. A father who worked on his lap top and cell phone all the time. And finally, the looser cousin who came down only to hit everyone up for money. I kept dreaming of a Valium and shot of Vodka or a revolver with one round in the chamber….

By Liz

May 1, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Me, my three girls, my sister and hubby and her 2 kids AND my parents rent a 5 or 6 bedroom almost every year for vacation at the beach. I would NOT do anything smaller than that, only for my own sanity. It feels cramped in the large house that we rent, so I just can’t imagine anything smaller.

Theresa, I would agree with those that say don’t do it.

By Markie

May 1, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Every year for years and years, my partner rented a beach house for her family. As years progressed, the relatives that wanted or could come, dwindled. But she still tried to do the family vacation. I have been on two,and have had a nice time. Her family is easy to get along with and everyone is respectful of space. This year, due to our finances (we can’t afford a multi-bedroom beachhouse) it is just her and myself. She misses the family trip but sometimes it is nice just to be on your own.

By Jesse's Girl

May 1, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Thor..you crack me up! Poo-poo is such a funny word! Your adventure sounds an awful lot like our last family get-2-gether. Only it was with 4 generations of women and all their children!!! No husbands allowed. I thought ” Ya know, I’ve lived a long, prosperous life. I’ve accomplished everything I set out to do….and then some! If you take me now God, I won’t mind!” We had one girl that looked like Wynona Ryder in Beetle Juice…she was a joy. Two wannabe matriarchs that if left alone would kill one another. A former table dancer turned yoga instructor that really likes her boobies. A very tightly wound newly minted Catholic that crosses herself at the end of almost every sentence. Then we had my mom who insisted on slapping meat on my plate at every meal…conveniently forgetting that I don’t eat it. As strange and goofy as my kids can be on any given day…they were the only remotely normal kids there! My only respite was waking up to the sounds of the ocean knowing that I was one day closer to getting home. I did get some really good pics that I am sure will one day come in handy for blackmail!!

By West Cobb

May 1, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Maybe you and your sister in law can split the cost of condo #2. It would be worth it to enjoy the week. I have to wonder if your parents know how noisy kids can be. They might enjoy having a place to get back to (a quiet place) after a busy day at the beach and pool.

By Markie

May 1, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

West Cobb - are you speaking to me? If so, that would be nice and I have suggested we split the cost of the house and groceries, so that we all go this summer. The beach house we rented for our two selves is $1400, but for eight people we need at least 4 bedrooms and the costs go way up - I checked. 4-5 bedrooms triples the price — or about $4200 for the week, which we can not afford. Splitting the cost will never happen for a variety of reasons. Firstly, my partner would never let anyone chip in.

By Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

I DESPISE my in-law’s family vacation every year. I am literally dreading the next one and stressed about it the entire year long. We have to cram 8 adults in a small 2-bedroom 2-bathroom condo. The parents stay in the one bedroom & bathroom. That leaves 6 people to share 1 tiny bedroom w/2 twin beds and horrible sofa in the living room, and the even smaller bathroom where the shower is literally child-size. I try every year to get out of going but “mother hen” insists that her 25-30 year old “kids” go, and they are afraid to say no to her. I guess they don’t want to hurt her feelings. We are too old for this crap! It is an absolute NIGHTMARE!!!!!! Please don’t torture your kids the way she tortures us!

By Penguinmom

May 1, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

My mom’s side of the family has an annual 4th of July reunion in the N. GA mountains. Several years we rented a 3 story cabin and had everyone stay there. We’ve had 10 or more kids between the ages of 2 and 14 in the house along with 14 or so adults. Usually one or two families stay in a hotel as well.

It worked fine. Not that there weren’t issues occassionally about who went to bed early and late but we all enjoyed it and went back to that same place 3 years in a row.

However, I will say that my family gets along really well. We actually all really enjoy each other and we all look forward to this reunion each year.

By Frequent Flier

May 1, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

Thor, the damage that you mentioned in your post is EXACTLY why we refuse to rent out our vacation condo.
Teresa, I’d advise renting a house vs. a condo. You’ll probably get a better deal, will probably have more space per person, and you will most likely have fewer problems with neighbors if the children make noise.

By JJ

May 1, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Hate Family Vacation Have you and hubby ever thought about getting your own condo at the same place? How can you possibly cram that many people into a two bedroom? There are laws against that aren’t there?

I’d be telling hubby we are getting our own place!!!! It’s not fair to you to have to stress/suffer for this. It’s your vacation too.

By kiki

May 1, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

We’ve done this for years and it is a blast. We do 4 bd condo with 3 sets of parents and 3 sets of kids totaling 13 people. The grands stay next door in their own condo. It’s fun and the kids love it. I think that some of the grown-ups would rather get a house but when the grands want you to come and they are paying the bill everyone can’t help but have a great time. Really, what do you have to complain about? Free beach is awesome beach. A priviledge. The memories and photos are priceless.

By Alecia

May 1, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

Theresa, don’t you think it is a little convenient that the hubbies can’t make it? If my husband proposed this, I would say “Not without you dear”. You are right, this is a recipe for disaster. There is a reason why the condo owners usually have a capacity limit. Anymore than 2 per bedroom is overcrowding. Last year I shared a condo at Myrtle Beach with my parents from Charlotte. They showed up earlier in the week and left earlier in the week. We spent maybe 2 days together. That was enough. Even so, hubby and I had one bedroom,parents had one room, and my 5yr old slept on the pull out sofa. I would never do this with inlaws and their bratty kids. Just think, after driving several stressful hours to get there, you have to deal with another family in a 600-800sq ft space. You will need a vacation to decompress from this one. Tell hubby that if he thinks this is such a great idea, why doesn’t he make a few schedule changes and try it.

By Lynn

May 1, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

I really can’t relate to multi family vacations since most of my family is gone. All of you should just be grateful and try to get along as long as you have each other. Take the time and make some memories!! It won’t be forever and could end sooner than you think.

By it's about the kids!

May 1, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Stop being pasty white, spoiled mombies! Dont you think that the kids would enjoy some time with their cousins? suck it up and allow them some of their OWN memories. My days couped up with my cousins, whether it was camping or the beach, are some of my fondest memories. My parents thought enough of me and my brothers and sisters to get through the HORROR that is a few days at the beach.

By its about the kids!

May 1, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

and another thing; Home depet just announced 1300 jobs cut, Delta, 1000. Trucks are being parked and abandoned along the interstate, homes are being lost.. and your going to whine about having to share a condo on a beach with your parents???!!!

By Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

JJ, we have considered getting another place nearby, except that neither one of us likes the area where they stay and we both hate going to the beach when its boiling hot outside. So if we are going to spend our money that we work so hard for, we want to spend it at a place where we will both enjoy. Thanks for the suggestion!

By Michelle

May 1, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

I am a college student and about every 2 years my entire dad’s family travels to the mountains together. My dad is one of six children, there are 21 grandchildren, and since most of the grandchildren are older, they bring their husbands, wives, girlfriends, or boyfriends. Usually there are about 40 people in an 8 bedroom cabin in the mountains. Some of my favorite memories are from these trips. Give it a try. What is the worst thing that could happen?

By Ear plugs + Zanax

May 1, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

We’ll have 16 adults (8 siblings +spouses) and 19 kids (ages 18yrs -3mos) staying in 1 house w/8 bedrooms for 1 week.

By The Selfishness is Incredible

May 1, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Thor and Hate Family Vacation: Get over yourselves. Boo hoo, you had to try to get along with others for a week.

It’s about the kids, you self-centered, self-involved brats.

By momtoAlex&Max

May 1, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

To Hate Family Vacation: I too used to be sucked into those horrible things. No more. I work too hard and my vacation days are SACRED. I say no. If hubbie insists, he can go by himself. And yes, I know that there will probably be a fight, but you get into a fight anyways when you get back don’t you?

By Thank You Lynn

May 1, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

Thank you to Lynn for reminding us what’s really important.

By Homeschool Mom

May 1, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

What kind of vacation is that for you if your hubby isn’t going to help with the kids? (and OF COURSE enjoy all the memories!)

By Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

The Selfishness is Incredible, there are NO kids (as in babies or small children) in our family. And if the in-laws really wanted to spend time with THEIR kids (30 yrs old), they would come off the beach for more than 2 minutes and spend time with us that we spend in the condo all day long because we sunburn super badly even with sunblock on. The vacation is all about them and what they want, and they don’t take anyone else’s wants or needs into consideration. How would you like it if you spent your one week of vacation that you get from your job at a place you don’t like with people you don’t like? We are miserable the whole time. There is way more to it than just that, but I can’t get into it here. Trust me, its bad.

By Ha!

May 1, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Hate Family Vacation never heard of a beach umbrella?? Hmmm…people on vacation at the beach, who want to spend time at the beach, instead of being inside all day. My lord we are the most spoiled country in the history of civilization.

“We are miserable the whole time.” Guaranteed you’re miserable year round!

By Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

MomToAlex&Max, Ha, you are right. Yes we do fight about it - on the way, during, and after vacation! Last year we made a deal and he didn’t keep his end of the bargain so I didn’t go on vacation - I went to visit my own family in another state instead! Yeah, that ticked the family off, and it was never acknowledged by anyone. MIL never said a word to me, but I know she was mad like “how dare you”, never once considering how much I give up every year or the fact that I have a family too. My vacation days are sacred too. I give up SO much time for his family. She threw an absolute FIT last year that she couldn’t see us ON Christmas day. It wasn’t good enough that we would see her the following day (she lives 3 hours away). She didn’t want to accept the fact that we were going to spend Christmas day with my 5 yr old nephew who came from another state (9 hours away). I mean, come on, she’s a grown woman. I am not sacriligious or anything, but isn’t the holiday more about the kids than about her?

By To Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Well, it sounds like some of your family members are being all that considerate of others. Let ‘em know how important your time is, and if they aren’t willing to meet you half-way, then it’s on them, not you.

Do we work to live or live to work? Family vacations can make treasured memories, but not when some family members are selfish and inconsiderate. If everyone doesn’t give and take a little, then you can have the peace of mind knowing you did your best.

By Have Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Ha!,

The umbrella doesn’t help because I can’t tolerate the heat. I am actually a very happy person and smiling all the time, so no, it’s not that I’m miserable. I have a wonderful life, great job, terrific family, just a lousy, controlling MIL! I am very thankful that I have a job and vacation and place to stay, and everything else. I just wish it wasn’t with mommy-in-law!

By new mom

May 1, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

I think the key to these types of vacations is to acknowledge upfront that everyone can do what they want sometime—agree to some ‘together’ activities, and some separate family stuff.

We’ve attended both of our families’ versions of the big vacation. His are scary…lots of selfish adults who love to disagree about what to do. If there had been kids present, they would have been more mature then them. Lots of fighting, yelling, people getting their feelings hurt, etc. I’d rather have my teeth extracted sans novicane then attend another of these trips. My family is better, we agree upfront that we will do separate things some of the time.

Vacations are supposed to be fun. Yes, kids should have a blast, but if the parents are happier, the kids will be happier! So it IS important to set some ground rules upfront, so EVERYONE involved has a great time. :)

By momtoAlex&Max

May 1, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

To Hate Family Vacation: I think we have the same mother in law. And yeah, I used to get sucked into all that dysfunction you are mentioning.

I put my foot down with hubbie and he understood (kinda). But I guess he figured that there are a LOT more payoffs with having a happy wife (wink wink) than in having a happy mother.

I’m sending you all the good vibes/mojo/karma/prayers your way!

By The beach is for kids

May 1, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

I say cram the kids in there! My extended family used to stay on the outerbanks for weeks at a time when I was a kid. There were usually 3 families in the 3 bedroom cottage. 2 adults per bedroom and the kids (usually 6-7, up to 10) slept anywhere they could find. On sofas, on the porch, on the floor, under the table, wherever. Just not with the adults. Everyday the kids were forced out of the cottage by 9 AM and were not allowed back in before 5, except for lunch and naps. With all the sun, exercise and no TV, all the kids were asleep by 7 (even with a 2 hour nap). When I was a kid, I couldn’t imagine a summer without my cousins. My family along with my wife’s sister’s family is doing it this year for the first time — my kids can’t wait and neither can I. Summers at the beach are for kids and family, and if you just relax and decide to have a kids’ attitude abbout it (“roll with it”), you can’t help but have a blast. The only person that can make you miserable is you - you’re at the beach for cris’ sake! If the noise is too much, send the kids out to th beach, or take a walk! And get rid of the TV - if you have to stay inside, play cards, board games or read.

By Hate Family Vacation

May 1, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Thanks, MomToAlex&Max! I appreciate it! Wishing you luck, too!

By nurse&mother

May 1, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

I think this depends on how everyone gets along under normal circumstances. Is there tension when everyone gets together for holidays? If so then you should consider two condos. If everyone gets along well, then one should be fine.

I think this is such a personal decision. Also, some adults need more personal space than others.

By nurse&mother

May 1, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

@Thor-your 11:21 post cracked me up!!! There was so much imagary(sp) that I felt as if I was there. LOL

By Becky

May 1, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

To all that are saying suck it up, you’ve never met my family..Drinking from the time they get up., fighting over anything..And the cigarette (sp) smoke..I’m the only one in my family that doesn’t smoke or drink & this doesn’t make for a great vacation with them..

By Markie

May 1, 2008 5:38 PM | Link to this

What I can’t understand about this family vacation idea is why everyone has to pile up on top of each other in the same space? One suggestion I made my Partner is we all have our own digs (our own condo, hotel room or small beach-house/town-house). Does everyone really HAVE to live together for a week to be “together”?