MOMania

By Randall

April 30, 2008 8:20 AM | Link to this

My wife went through a lot of time, effort and money to fill the goodie bags for our son’s 2nd birthday party with Alladin figurines and plastic balloons (like swim fins, but shaped like Abu and Genie). She also bought scads of candy and so forth. Most of the stuff didn’t even make it out of our house. The party was in February and I still find an item or two from the goodie bags under the couch or behind the bookshelf to this day. Not only was I offended for having them left at the house, I felt sorry for my wife…she put her heart and soul into that party (as she does everything else in life) and the parents of the guests didn’t even see fit to take most of them out of the house. It was an insult to my wife and her efforts to provide a memorable experience.

I can’t say we won’t do them again, but if it were solely up to me we wouldn’t.

By Debbie

April 30, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

As a longtime homeschool mom, I remember seeing goodie bags for the first time at the party of a public schooler. It seemed to me at the time to be a contrived consolation prize for the generation being brought up to think they need prizes and medals and trophies for just showing up.

Eventually I bought into the peer pressure and got on the goodie bag parade too. Like Randall I found most of what was in the bags scattered all over the house, but this was due to the lack of control by the kids not being able to get out of the house to see what they had ‘gotten.’

My children are a bit past the goodie bag stage, but seeing them eradicated before my grandchildren come along would be a good thing!

By momof3

April 30, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

One of the ways I have found around this is to have something the kids can make at the party-then they take that home as their “goody”. It can be pretty simple and it takes up some of the party time too!

By TnT's mom

April 30, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this

I agree completely…. NO MORE GOODIE BAGS!

I haven’t done them in several years. Not one parent has mentioned it to me either. The last few birthdays for my now 10 yr old have been low key, party at pool, small sleepover etc. Makes it much easier. The 14 yr old has a party at the pool or a sleepover. No goodie bags!

By Dondee

April 30, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

I’m imagining you might see goody bags at the parties of all children, including those home schooled and children who attend private schools, not just public school kids. I agree they are overblown and overdone. Kids don’t need them!

By CS

April 30, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

I’m with you Theresa. I buy gifts for all of the kids’ parties we go to. I am not going to give them a gift to come to my daughter’s party.

By Liz

April 30, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

I don’t see a problem with goodies bags - it’s the stupid extravagent birthday parties that need to be done away with. Get some perspective.

By Davona

April 30, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Being invited and fed and entertained is enough of a reward for attending a party. The guest OF HONOR is the only one who should receive gifts of any kind. I have recently attended wedding showers that gift gifts to all attenders. What an ridiculous and extravagant practice.

By Allen

April 30, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Um, seems to me Liz likes to be rewarded for showing up!

By Stacey

April 30, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

I don’t recall getting them as a child and I had never even seen the practice until my (now 16 y.o.) nephew’s 2nd birthday party. Since then, every kid’s party I’ve been to has had them. I always take cupcakes and goody bags for my son’s class and you’re right…it does add up quickly. I usually grab little trinkets throughout the year when I find them on clearance so that I won’t have such a big expense all at once. My son likes that his friends think he give the best goody bags.

Last year my son went to a little girl’s party and the parents had a table set up with nice unwrapped toys and she allowed the guests to chose a toy when they left. One of the parents commented (and I agreed) that her child took home just as good of a gift as he gave. The hostess later told me that she was in Wal-Mart on day in mid January (this was a summer party) and they we selling all clearance toys for 1/2 price so she was able to get toys that were regularly $25 for $3-$5. She knew she would spend more than that on goody bags and fillers so she just bought a variety of stuff. I thought this was a great idea and one that I may use.

By DB

April 30, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Hooray! I did away with them a long time ago, when we were still doing the b-day party thing. My kids have been to some parties where the goody back had $15 worth of stuff in it! How nuts was THAT? The guests are coming, they are being entertained and fed. ‘Nuff said.

One thing we DID do is take pictures of each child opening their gift, with the guest sitting next to them. When they would write the thank-you note, we’d enclose the picture of the b-day kid and the guest. Also, for one of my daughter’s teenage costume birthdays, we took a picture of her and the guest in their costumes, printed the pictures off our computer, and then put the picture in one of those little $1 wedding favor frames from Michael’s — that was their “goody”.

By Jesse's Girl

April 30, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

The last goodie bag I gave out had really cute toothbrushes and floss in them. I figured they’d need them after eating all that cake and ice cream…and the kids really don’t care anyway. If I do it again…toothbrushes might make a second appearance. The b-day kid should be the only one oohhing and aahing over gift.

By Thor

April 30, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl - what a wonderful idea on toothbrushes! I like that! Good tip!

By arh

April 30, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

I had a birthday party for my daughter at a local stable with pony rides and all the kids (18)were given cowboy hats when they got there so that they could wear them for their ride. Just cheap one from Party City-but still. I actually had a little girl (6 yrs old) come up to me at the end of the party and ask “where is my goodie bag?”. That was the end of them for me!

By JJ

April 30, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

arh That is a WONDERFUL idea. How cute they must have looked in their little cowboy hats, on top of horses. How sweet.

As to the request for the goody bag, I would have told her she was wearing it on her head, ha ha…

By Magenta

April 30, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

It’s been awhile since my goodie-bag days, but I remember the first such party my youngster & I attended. The rule of thumb was twice as many guests as the child’s age. Well, this child was 3 and there had to have been 30 preschoolers. Yikes. And then the mom gave out the goodie bags first thing, so it was plastic toy parts from sea to shining sea. Then she delayed the cake until just before the party broke up, so 30 sugar-jumped kids went home with their unfortunate parents. Gave me a lot of guidelines for how NOT to throw a kid’s party. The only glitch I never figured out was how to keep your kid from ripping open presents, losing all the parts, and having the toy broken by his friends before the party was even over. Disaster!

By chocoholic

April 30, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

My daughter is not old enough to have that sort of party yet (only 17 months) but I cannot see myself giving out goodie bags. Nor would I expect them at any party that she is invited to. It seems like a bribe to me. Kids these days have an entitlement complex anyway and they always think they deserve something for nothing (sorry for stereotyping).

By Keysha

April 30, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Not to mention these useless plastics just add to our landfill mountains and form islands of garbage in the ocean!

By dazed

April 30, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

At my 4 y/o’s party this year, I gave out personalized juice box holders. This was partly an effort to avoid the goody bags and partly to avoid the juice box squeeze problem. Worked great and I’ve seen them used a little bit at other gatherings of the kiddos. Except for things like this I’m forgoing all future goody bags if possible.

By Joyce

April 30, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I’ve actually been thinking about this lately, esp. in light of all the dollar-store type toys that have been recalled lately. Since that’s where my budget (and inclination) lean, I don’t think I’ll do goodie bags again. As for how they started, maybe they used to be “consolation prizes” for the kids who didn’t win pin the tail on the donkey or something like that.

By fk

April 30, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

My son did not have extravagant parties, nor did he ever invite the entire class. He invited his friends. Most of the places provided party favors or goodie bags. I don’t recall making them. And, the parties stopped after 5th grade. In 6th grade, he simply invited his buddies over, and they did not realize it was his b’day until we brought out the cake, there were no gifts. The last few “parties”, his choice, were sleepovers. We took a few boys to the movies, ordered pizza and they spent the night. The big treat was in the a.m. when my husband prepared breakfast…he put on quite a show and the boys always had fun. As they left, each got a $5 movie card and a candy bar. They were always surprised and very appreciative; no waste.

By Type B Mom

April 30, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

You guys all have me re-thinking goodie bags! I do however, have a different perspective. I have had FUN doing the goodie bags for the last 2 years. AND, my little boy has had fun making them with me. It has been quality time for the 2 of us and he gets to be involved in his party plans. However, I do agree that it is a waste and now that we have a daughter and finances are a bit different, we probably won’t do them anymore. I’ve always thought it seemed silly to give gifts to guests. I agree with the comment above that it seems a part of the society of every one gets an award so no feelings are hurt. But, I still had FUN! (the last one was a pirate party with a little treasure box with stickers and gold coins). Some of the alternate ideas here are great!

By Amy

April 30, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

Best party “favor” we ever had was taking 5 boys to a Georgia Baseball Game - bought some baseballs and they had the players sign them. I like to make a memory for them all. This time we’re going to a Braves game - I believe their “favor” will be FOOD AT THE PARK - expensive enough.

By Theresa

April 30, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

*Hey Guys — I am interviewing a reading specialist at 2:30 today —- If you have any questions about your kids learning to read or something you’re worried about leave me a note on this blog and I will do my best to get answers for you ——I’m hoping this will run on Sunday/MOnday — *

By Jesse's Girl

April 30, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Hey Theresa…ask him/her if there are any strings that can be pulled to get rid of the leters “c” or “k”…we don’t need both. The Boy became almost violent the other day he was so flustered!

By new mom

April 30, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

I just found this article and thought it relevant to today’s topic: http://www.wsbtv.com/family/16001902/detail.html There are some budget-friendly ideas, and it also recommends to encourage parents to drop off and leave! I sure hope that too goes the way of the goodie bag….

By amy

April 30, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

My first encounter with “goodie bags” was with my oldest who is now 22. We went to a party at a facility with balls and slides. She had a marvelous time. I know the parent paid over $10 a child. As we left she gave us a “goodie bag”. I refused it saying the activity was the “goodie”. She was taken aback. I believe that if you pay money to entertain the children, that is a “goodie”, if all you do is have children over for cake and ice cream and they give your child presents, then maybe you may want to give a small token of thanks to the guests. Also, I was taught that no thank you note is necessary if you are in attendance when the person opens the gift and can thank you in person.

By mom2two

April 30, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

A few years ago, I got fed up with goody bags and made t-shirts for guests at my son’s party. I bought a large pack of white shirts and iron-on transfers at Costco and made the shirts at home. The party had a Blue’s Clues theme and the shirts had Blue on them. I originally planned to put each child’s name on his/her shirt but decided against it for safety reasons.

Several children came up to me at the party and demanded their “real” goody bags. Their moms, who had all said they loved the shirt idea, seemed mortified!

Weeks and even months later, I saw the kids wearing their Blues Clues shirts and it made me feel pretty happy to see a party favor being used for longer than a week (even if the kids weren’t terribly appreciative).

By Reader

April 30, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

My version of goodie bags: I decorate with something I can then send home with the guests. I’ve used small flower pots from Lowe’s, balloon bouqets, pumpkins - anything that’s seasonal or somehow related to the theme. Since I don’t use packaged themes, it’s easier to stretch the theme to include whatever I decide to use and can find!

By A. Nony Mouse.

April 30, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Okay this is sort of on the same track. When Number one son was in 4yr kindergarten they would have a birthday “thing” with cake and special plates. The Plate would then get stapled to the work for that day and sent home.

By JJ

April 30, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

I have a question, WHY do you give goodie bags?

What is the reasoning behind them?

By One

April 30, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

I’ve done goodie bags in the past, but it’s been a looonnnngg time. My little one’s almost 16, and I’m trying to think of something special for her day. Any suggestions?

By Stacey

April 30, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

JJ…My honest answer to “why” is that everyone else does. I’m not sure where and why the tradition started but I truly enjoy making them. My son has only had one “real” birthday party because I always sent cupcakes and goody bags to his class (even in daycare) and we had cake and ice cream with family. Because of that, he gave gifts to his friends & classmates for his birthday without getting any back! LOL

By FCM

April 30, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Checking in….did Diedre get the job?

I have a few interviews lined up. A few more irons in the fire….and a HUGE headache. I will find that job yet.

Just checking in.

I recall having goody bags at my parties as a kid. Also the ones I went to. That was 20+ years ago.

My child gave away small bags with non edible items.

What I still don’t get is when I go to a shower play the game the host thought up…but then I am given the ‘honor’ of giving the ‘prize’ to bride/mama to be (depending on the shower)…..Heck why play the game just give her the gift already.

By JJ

April 30, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

One I have alot of ideas for a Sweet 16. What is your budget like?

One of the hot new things girls like to is go spend the night at a nice hotel downtown. I took my daughter and three friends to the Peachtree Plaza. We got two connecting rooms, one for me, and one for them. Dinner was the Sundial.

This last birthday, 17, I took her and her cousin to the Aquarium on a Friday morning. There was no one there, we had the place to ourselves. We were there for 2.5 hours.

An overnight trip to Helen, The Lodge at Unicoi has some cool rooms with lofts for the kids, and the breakfast buffet is free, for two…..

Gatlinburg TN is a three hour drive, and fun for an overnighter…..lots of places to stay and things to see. I recomment The Johnson Inn, nice rooms, and decent prices……

By BillP

April 30, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

I wondered the same thing about wedding favors when my wife was planning our wedding.

By new mom

April 30, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

FCM, are you saying that you have been pressured/expected to give the prize you won to the bride/mommy to be at a shower?? I have never heard of that…and last summer we had 6 baby showers! (yes crazy, but had 6 different groups who wanted to do one) Anyway, thankfully, that never happened at any of my six showers, and if someone had tried to give me their prize, I would have politely insisted they keep what they won! The showers are enough of a gift, when you get to visit with everyone, the gifts are a bonus. I would feel horrible if someone felt obligated to try to give me a prize they won too!!

Back to the goodie bag issue, I don’t remember them from my childhood either. I think most people do them because their children came home from a party with one, so they feel that’s one more thing that they, in turn, must do. The madness continues…

Our daughter will be turning 1 this September, and i’m already trying to plan her party. Will be mostly family and close friends, no other little ones. Our ‘goodie bag’ will be recent pictures I will have had taken the week before. But I don’t plan to give goodie bags when she’s old enough to have a friend party.

I like the idea of a craft party, where each guest gets to make something and take it home. Maybe personalize it—like a tiny flower pot, each girl could sign their name on the pot or something. Also, I remember reading a while back about a teenage girl who decided to make her birthdays about giving something back to her community. She had her ‘party’ at a local humane society where she and friends voluntered, and instead of gifts, she asked her friends to make donations in her name. I can’t remember where I read that, but it stuck with me. I can’t imagine how proud I’d be of my daughter if she wanted to do something like that on her birthday—to be that giving!!

By gracie

April 30, 2008 5:28 PM | Link to this

I think the trend for children’s birthday parties as a whole has gotten out of hand. I think the entire bit is for the parent’s ego and not the child’s. I see no reason why a birthday party should cost more than the price of cake, ice cream, a few games and a few decorations.

By Bridget

April 30, 2008 6:34 PM | Link to this

I decided from the beginning that we would not get crazy with the parties. They each get a big event on their 5th birthday. That is about the time thery start developing friends. After age 5, they can invite two friends over for the day and I take them somewhere special. Corn Maze, Movie, Zoo, out to lunch etc. We do family parties too but it is simple… dinner and cake/ice cream.

We have done goodie bags. I agree they are a waste!

By Robin Schmidt

April 30, 2008 7:04 PM | Link to this

I LOVE GOODY BAGS!!

I love creating them and I love it when my daughter comes home with them. There is one friend who never has a goody bag and it is a let down. Each party is fun to come home with some neat trinkets.

I believe that goody bags serve as a thank you. Not for coming to my party but for the gift.

My daughter, 13, loves shop for items to go in them.

Each year we continue the theme of the party with the bags. I do not know the “magic” number to stop giving goody bags at but I know for our family that we are no where near it!!!

I agree with other posters that it is a waste of money to put in trinket/junk toys so I do not. For a Curious George party we bought the small stuffed Curious Georges. For other parties we have ordered nicer items from Oriental Trading Company. One year when we had the party at the Chatt. Nature Center I was lucky enough to be in Target one day and got nature themed lunchbags and used them for the actual bag itself.

I remember being young and going to parties and playing games and the host would have prizes for the winners of the game. (I will never forget winning a checked green multi colored paged autograph book.)

By motherjanegoose

April 30, 2008 7:39 PM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl…please don’t delete the letters c and k because then we would have to eliminate COOKIES and that would be a huge issue around here….LOL. On topic…the goodie bag thing has gone over the edge. I do not remember it as a child but do remember it for the past 20 years or so as mine have been around. I like the Blue Clues t-shirt thing…we have also decorated pillow cases when it is a sleepover or sunvisors/sand buckets, hats for the summer. I think a craft ( and I am not a craft nut) serves 2 purposes…something to do at the party and something to take home. Birthday Parties have gone WAY overboard…I had a parent offer me $600 to do her child’s party…NOPE, NADA, NOT ME! I remember reading once that a child should have as many guests as their age: 3 year olds get 3 children etc. I do feel ( in today’s day and age)it is more about the parents’ ego than the child’s enjoyment.

By Me

May 1, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

I don’t do goody bags at all. I am not going to knock those that do, but I don’t understand the purpose. You came, you ate, you partied. That is your treat. It is way more parental ego involved than doing something for kids.

By FCM

May 1, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Yes, I have attended baby showers where the ‘prize’ was a diaper bag, to be handed to the Mom to be….Or a some scented hangers for the Bride….and yes, it was told to the ‘winner’ open this and then pass it to the guest of honor as it will be a gift ‘from you to them’….WHAT????

Now, we do small $1 store stuff as prizes at the kids’ parties. We do the party where the invitees can do something (bowl, splatters, cook) and then we do some little bag with no food items but some little thing….Magic 8 balls were a hit last time.

By Anne

May 1, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

I think that goodie bags are used now for a “Thank you” for coming to your party…I normally give out a little snack size baggy with snacks of some sort in it with a label specifying, Thank you for sharing my big day with me!

By nurse&mother

May 1, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Wow, I never thought of goodie bags in this way before! I love fixing goodie bags for my children’s birthday and class parties. I usually put things in them that don’t get thrown away like picture frames and small toys like magna doodle knock offs. I agree with another poster that it is like a thank you for those that came. I do see the other point. I suppose I will rethink my goodie bags.

I agree with others who have said that birthday parties have gotten out of hand. If I spend a little more on a party for my daughter than I would like(at her request), I tell her that this is most of her gift from her father and I. SHe either accepts this or she modifies the party plans. problem solved.

By Julie

May 1, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

I do not personally have children, but girlfriend of mine does the Goodie Bags, but she fills them with fun themed toothbrushes, yummy flavored toothpaste, and a Photo of the birthday girl/boy that she prints at a photo booth that includes the “frame” around it that says “Thank You”. The kids get a fun and healthy treat, and she kills two birds with one stone with the Thank you Photo

By Tonya

May 7, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

We have always given a goodie bag. Some years we made t- shirt, theme related crafts and even given coloring books and crayons. It’s our way of saying thank you for coming and spending the day with me. We also send a thank you card along with a group photo. We have never had anyone say no to them. I think it rude to do so. They get to keep half of their gifts and the other gifts we donate to our school during the holidays when they make up Christmas baskets for families within our school who may be in need.

By Tonya

May 7, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

We have always given a goodie bag. Some years we made t- shirt, theme related crafts and even given coloring books and crayons. It’s our way of saying thank you for coming and spending the day with me. We also send a thank you card along with a group photo. We have never had anyone say no to them. I think it rude to do so. They get to keep half of their gifts and the other gifts we donate to our school during the holidays when they make up Christmas baskets for families within our school who may be in need.

By Danno

July 25, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I am refusing to do goodie bags. If it isn’t your birthday you shouldn’t expect a gift. Very simple concept. If I overheard my kid ask the host “where is my goodie bag” I would be mortified. As far as goodie bags being given as a “thanks for the gift”… this would be a great oppurtunity to teach your kids about the lost art of the handwritten “thank-you” note. I’m debating whether or not I should request that no guest brings a gift. The kids get so much from grandparents, mom and dad, aunts and uncles…

By MAH

December 19, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

I completely agree! But I still do it because I don’t want my kid to be the one that did not hand out goodie bags! I do try to give some thought into the process so that I can give them something other than cheap candy! I hate that! Some of the best items that my children have received are homemade CD’s with kids music that we still use, puzzles, etc.