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DEL.ICIO.USWithholding gab is baby’s new game
When did your children start talking? Would they speak in front of others?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our 13-month old baby is talking now. She has a full repertoire of words. Some are pretty typical — mama, dada, ball, book, uh-oh, dog, Lou (our dog’s name). And one phrase that’s pretty extraordinary. My husband has taught her to say, “Go Dogs. Sic ’Em. Woof, woof, woof.” Well, what she actually says is “Go Dog. (Nothing in the middle.) And then this little chirp of a bark that kind of sounds like a demure rooster. It’s adorable.
But it doesn’t matter how cute she is cheering for our alma mater because she refuses to do it for almost anyone but us.
It’s like I’ve given birth to the WB Frog. You know the top hat-wearing, cane-toting frog that sings ragtime and dances for the guy that found him in the construction site but won’t ever do it for anyone else. It’s very frustrating and people are starting to think I’m lying — much like that poor guy with the frog.
We stopped by my mom’s neighbor’s house the other night. I opened the mini-van door so they could see the baby, and I told them she’s talking now. As grandparents of a 15-month old they were curious to see what she could do. They waited with baited breath to hear my little darling speak.
Nothing. Na Da.
“Come on baby say, ‘Go Dogs. Sic ’em. Woof, woof, woof.’ ”
She looked at me. She looked at them. Then she just smiled. And I swear, as the van door slowly slid closed, she started babbling again.
Same drill at the pediatrician’s office. We went in last week to get her older brother Walsh’s final vaccinations for kindergarten registration. I’m bragging to the nurses how my sweet little baby is talking and even putting the words together like “Mama, wa-wa.”
They pause. They wait. They look at her expectantly.
Cue the crickets. Chirp. Cue the frogs. Croak.
Complete silence. Absolutely no cooperation at all from this baby.
Our oldest daughter Rose talked very early and to anyone. She was talking by 7 months and by 10-months was speaking in sentences. I remember taking my husband to the airport when she was 10-months old. He was leaving for a month to cover the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, and I swear they had a whole conversation. “Bye-Bye Dada. Miss you. Love you.”
A former neighbor who was an elementary school teacher used to marvel at Rose’s language skills. Every time we’d walk out to get the mail, Rose would talk to her. She would just shake her head and say, “That’s not normal. Most kids aren’t doing that.”
I didn’t really believe her though. I thought all kids were busting out sentences before they were one year old. So when Walsh came along I kept expecting him to speak. But he didn’t, and I got worried. Every time we’d see the pediatrician, I’d ask him if he thought Walsh was autistic. His response: “No. He’s a boy and he’s No. 2. He’ll talk when he’s ready. He’s fine.”
By 16 months (which seemed awfully late to me) he was finally talking. Apparently he had just been absorbing everything because when he did start speaking, he went straight to full sentences. And much like his mother, he won’t shut up now.
But this new baby is simply not playing by my rules. There’s nothing I have learned thus far that will cajole her to speak unless she wants to.
Our babysitter, Cydney, is the only one outside our immediate family that has been admitted to the inner circle. Cydney’s mother told me her daughter came home talking about how the baby was cheering for UGA.
I was stunned. “What? She heard her? Fantastic! Spread the word! I’m not crazy.”
The only problem now is that Cydney is trying to get the baby to say “Go Dogs” for her friends, and they think she’s crazy — like the next guy that found the frog.
Comments
By chocoholic
April 28, 2008 8:11 AM | Link to this
I can totally relate, Theresa. My 17-month old has finally started saying a bunch of words, but she won’t even say “Bye” when we’re in public. Back in the fall, right before her 1st birthday, my husband taught her to say “Georgia” (during football season - his alma mater is the same as yours). It was the cutest thing ever and every now and then she would impress family and friends. Then right around 14-15 months she quit saying all words and would only make animal sounds. She knew exactly what the dog says, what the sheep says, etc. but would not say “daddy” or “mommy”. Now she’s back to using her words and acquiring more everyday. The most frustrating part is that she almost always refuses to say “mommy”. When I ask her to say it, she either responds with “daddy” or our dog’s name, which sounds nothing like mommy! It’s like she knows that she’s driving me crazy!
By JJ
April 28, 2008 8:20 AM | Link to this
It is so cute when they start to talk and babble, etc. However, when they turn 17 you can’t shut them up!!!!!
By Zorro
April 28, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this
My son’s thirty-three, and the only words he can say is can I borrow some money.
By Kat
April 28, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
You spend the first two years waiting for them to walk and talk, and the next 20 telling them to sit down and listen. Sigh.
By Thor
April 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this
I love living in Georgia, but there are behavior patterns I just don’t understand - such as wanting your baby to shout out “Go Dawgs”. Things like this do not happen with the Univ of Chicago, Stanford, Cornell, Columbia or the Seven Sisters. Things are a bit different in the South.
By new mom
April 28, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Hi Theresa, I loved your wb frog analogy. Too funny!! Our 7 month old just has a few words so far: dadadadadadada (of course when she’s happy!) nanananana (we think that’s me, when she’s crying) and she blows raspberries when she’s happy. Which is almost all the time. But when she meets someone new, she just freezes and stares at them. I can imagine that she will be the same way your youngest is!
By JJ
April 28, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
Thor I do believe, dahling, that you are somewhat arrogant this morning.
If you don’t like the way we do things down here, please feel free to return from whence you came.
I guess it’s true that Northerner’s don’t really have a sense of humor.
By new mom
April 28, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
I just had to add something about blowing raspberries:
I know it’s supposed to be a good thing developmentally for them, but it makes me nuts when she does it with mouths full of fruit, cereal, yogurt, etc!!! I guess she really likes her food, but it sure does go everywhere!! :)
By nurse&mother
April 28, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
A little off subject and don’t mean to be rude, but I have a friend whose parents are from up north. I spoke to my friend’s mother a few years back and during a telephone conversation (hadn’t spoke to her in about a year), she asked me if my mom had lost any weight? What’s up with that?!? That is not the first time that I have encountered people from up north that can come across as rude and saying exactly what is on their mind. How about a little self-control. I realize that this is a generalization (and I don’t like to stereotype people) but this just seems to be my observation.
By Thor
April 28, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
When we had our daughter living in Manhattan her first words were “Taxi” followed by “Garbage”.
By JJ
April 28, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this
Totally off topic, but has anyone seen or heard about the pictures of Miley Cyrus on Vanity Fair? Does this not border on child porn? She is only 15, and posing nekkid with a blanket on the cover of this rag….then goes on to say she is embarrased? WTF? Why did her father allow this? Oh I know, MONEY….
Thank GOD I don’t have a kid idolizing this idiot.
By NameGame
April 28, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
Alright Lilina! Keep up the good work. Let them know you don’t entertain for free. Next thing you know mommy Theresa will have you performing “I’m a little teapot” after dinner parties. Blech.
Beyonce used to charge her parents friend $5 to perform. Look where she is now. :-)
By P Murray
April 28, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
Not all northerners lack a sence of humor, just the humorless ones.
By Thor
April 28, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this
Some babies are just simply dumb. Probably around 15% of the adult populous are dim-witted therefore the same percentage applies to babies as well. An untold dirty secret is that parents compare children and often comment to each other in private that their friend’s baby is dumber than a box of rocks. In no way is this an insinuation towards anyone on this blog, however we’ve all seen kids that are just plain dumb - admit it.
By nurse&mother
April 28, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this
I’m with you JJ. She claimed that she thought it was art then once she saw the pictures later and the story, she is now embarrassed. The photographer stated it was a digital camera and she and her dad viewed and accepted them before they were printed. Sounds to me like she wants to make more money by exploiting her body and she still wants to keep her Disney fan base. I think when she realized that Disney was not so happy, then all of a sudden she was “embarrassed”. Sorry, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
By nurse&mother
April 28, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this
Back to topic, my daughter was very verbal and from an early age. I remember before she was two, we used to carry on conversations while riding in the car. She was so articulate. I could understand everything. Fast forward, 8.5 years. My son learned some words at 12 months then went silent except for grunts for a few months. He would then learn some more, then stop using his existing vocab. I was very worried, but the pediatrician told me the same thing (that he is not autistic-just a boy and second child at that).
Now at two years and three months, he is finally starting to take off with some three word sentences. He is getting easier to understand too. (Whew!!)
I have a good friend whose water broke at 19weeks gestation. Her daughter was born at 30 weeks. She is 2.5 years and sounds like a genius! She makes my daughter (when she was the same age) look pitiful. She theorizes that because her water was broken for 11 weeks, she had a head start with her hearing and language comprehension. It’s funny, you hear all this conversation coming from this little tiny thing! It probably helps that her mother (my friend) is very intelligent too.
By Thor
April 28, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this
B.F. Skinner believed that he could take any child and make them become anything based on their environment (Behavioralism). Others believe it’s all genetics, I think its really a combination of both. Some babies start speaking early - some late, there often is no rhyme or reason. Remember, Einstein was labeled as average in the first grade.
By A. Nony Mouse.
April 28, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
Zorro! Oh no my son is 23 and only knows that same phrase. I was hoping he could learn a new one sometime in the next ten years. LOL>
By Theresa
April 28, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this
Hey nurse and mother - on the northerners being rude — I think there’s a couple things at play — first off definitely not all northerners are “rude” — but I do they the pace if life is faster and they’re not going to put up wiht anything wasting their time — When we lived in Manhattan, store clerks would get so irritated wiht me because i would launch into a story about why I was returning the pants and they’re just like we don’t give a crap — here’s your refund — down here we chit-chat like that everybody — the other thing is I think you do have a lot of Italians and Hispanic and other cultures where they are just more blunt - I don’t mean that as an insult and obviously not everyone who is Italian or Hispanic descent does this but some do— for example my husband’s Italian aunts say things that are pretty blunt - they’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or be rude - they just call it like they see it —- I have a Cuban girlfriend here and the things she says astound me — such as you need a better bra, I don’t like the light in your front entry way — things I would never say to anyone but her family doesn’t pull punches. My mom always said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it and I’m constantly afraid of hurting people’s feelings — that was the one big thing I would get rated down on my work evaluations — too concerned with hurting the feelings of the employee’s under me — funny thing to have on an evaluation
By Thor
April 28, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
Theresa: very good analysis and no, you were not offensive. Remember, the northeast is the most densely populated areas in America which does add to rudeness when people are packed on top of each other. I agree with your analysis.
As a New Yorker I still have a hard time with listening to Southern chit-chat. The lady in front of me at the grocery store will chit chat with the check-out clerk about something (after the transaction) and I have visions of slapping them both. This is my internal quirk but I realize it’s only 30 to 45 seconds and the people in front of me are always being nice with their chit-chat. Still, it drives me nuts.
Southerners are in general more friendly, but they are also far more reserved at allowing people into their world. I married a south Georgia girl and when we head down for a nephew birthday party the locals are rather aloof towards me, the loud Yankee who drives a foreign car, speaks loudly, uses hand gestures, and is blunt. I don’t fit in and the locals make no attempt to bring me into the fold. I’m viewed at suspiciously, even though we’ve been married for 14 years.
Northerners are more blunt, tell it like they see it which personally I prefer. The South has the best cooking however!
By A. Nony Mouse.
April 28, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this
Relax Theresa. Soon you will be trying to make her stop saying the most recent word she has learned.
By Tamika
April 28, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this
Well I don’t let my baby touch her GAB ( In my house we just call it Poop) I make sure her diaper is always clean and she nevers touches anything unsanitary!!
By Stacey
April 28, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
My son was the exact same way! Not only would he not respond, but he would kinda tilt his head and look at me with the emptiest looking blank stare. He had a hand full of people (outside of the household) who he would talk to but there seemed to be no rhyme nor reason to who he chose. He would talk his head off to the next door neighbor and cashier at the grocery store but completely ignore his grandmother and daycare teacher. He talked to the receptionist at his pediatrician’s office but would completely ignore the doctor and nurses.
I remember asking his daycare why all of the other kids his age were moved to the next level and he hadn’t and they told me it was because he hadn’t met the required developmental milestones. I couldn’t understand that because every afternoon when I picked him up, the afternoon teacher would go on and on about how smart he was and have some kind of cute little story to tell. We finally figured out that his “bonding teacher” was the one who was responsible for his evaluation and she wasn’t in his designated “IN” group. I showed the evaluation form to the afternoon teacher and she told them that he has met all of the milestones. What they finally decided to do was to have the lead teacher “spy” on him while he interacted with the afternoon teacher. As others have said though, now he won’t stop talking!
By Caren
April 28, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
Theresa, My daughter is almost 2. She has been talking for several months but only to us as well. She goes to a Mother’s Morning Out program and they would laugh when I told them how much she talked at home. She would not utter a word at school!! Starting 3 weeks ago she finally started talking at school, at the store, pretty much anywhere we go. Now her teachers say she won’t be quiet!!
By fk
April 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this
Thor: I love living in GA, also, and I did chuckle at your first post. I, too, am a northerner, from LI. Have been here almost 18 years, most of my adult life. Every so often, I get called a Yankee.
Yankee? Before moving here, the only time anyone referred to Yankees was if the conversation was relating to MLB. (We were Mets fans, way back when).
Yes, things up NY way move at a much faster pace, and I do think that gets confused with rudeness. Way back when, I worked in NYC, and 24 hour turn around meant that if the work was in by 9 a.m., it was done & out by 5 p.m. that very day, not 9 a.m. the next day. No doubt there are rude people there, but they are everywhere, it’s not a regional thing. A smile goes a long way.
There is a certain Southern accent that I would never tire of listening to all day long. I know it when I hear it, but I don’t know exactly from where it hails, though. I laughed, too, at your slapping scenario. My best friend says that about fast-talking talkative people in NY!
By nurse&mother
April 28, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this
Theresa, it’s one thing to have a friend tell you like it is.(I certainly have friends that can be frank with me and I appreciate their candor). It’s another to have someone else with whom you are not close to ask a rude question. I think it is a cop out to use one’s ethnicity, location, or age as an excuse for one’s rudness. JMHO.
By Theresa
April 28, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this
hey nurse and mother — I agree that for some folks, they are just plain old rude!
By motherjanegoose
April 28, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this
Great topic and sidelines. If you are talking to your children as much as possible, you are doing the best thing. Children need to hear language in its’ appropriate context an be totally immersed . Some children are natural chatterboxes and some are not but when they have been exposed to lots of different words, this enhances their vocabulary. This is my speaking topic ( language acquisition) and I am hired to share this information ( with more detail) across the country. People with enhanced vocabularies are generally more intersting, knowledgeable and intelligent. Think about going to a dinner party with those who are succinct( sp?) and may utter 50 words in 2 hours…BORING! I see this all the time in my workshops…adults who are answering questions and role playing and those who have given their literal two cents worth in cannot understand why everyone else is having so much fun with a silly question. Theresa…just talk to the baby and let the siblings talk to her too…you are doing the right thing! She will soak it in and let it out when she is ready. Regarding the passion for UGA and those who think it is nuts…we are not Georgia fans but our son is a Junior and loves it. For those who think other states are not GAGA over their school…try the Cornhuskers in Nebraska….those folks are NUTS! I was heading back to the airport after a Sat. morning meeting and they tell me… “don’t forget to tune in and listen to the footbal game!” I ridiculously asked… ” who is playing…?” They roll their eyes and reply…”the Conrhuskers, of course!!!” Even the corn stops growing when the games are on…lol! Having lived in 6 states, north and mostly south, I will take southerners in a minute. They are usually friendly, helpful and kind. Plus they are a lot more fun when I work in their schools.
I work in the northern states but they do tend to be reserved and sometimes pious. My brother in law ( Wisconsin) continues to tell us how good their schools are compared to southern schools. WELL Collins Hill rates a 10 on the great schools web site and we will not say how much farther down the ladder their schools are. You CANNOT convince them…do not even bother! THEY KNOW IT ALL! Which, in my opinion , is why they live up there when it is still snowing in April…they must know something we do not!
By smokey fenmore
April 28, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this
teresa, your kids are not puppets meant to entertain your family and friends. All kids develop at their own pace and reason. Also, I couldnt help but notice your bio says you “attended” UGA and that later you graduated from college. Did you graduate from UGA, Athens? with a degree in Journalism? Also, when will you do a blog devoted to the drought and the impact it has had on family life in the southeast?
By Theresa
April 28, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this
hey Smokey — I did graduate from UGA’s Grady College of Journalism. I actually finished my degree early going several summers. And we can work in a drought blog at your request.
By smokey fenmore
April 28, 2008 5:36 PM | Link to this
lest we forget, from June 07;
It’s a suburban mother’s rebel cry - We will let our kids run through sprinklers and fill up kiddy pools in the middle of the day despite water restrictions. We all know we’re not supposed to but it’s definitely being done.
We attended a kiddy pool party last week. We’d fill the little plastic pools and then when they got too muddy, we’d dump them out and fill them again. It was a corner house so I kept expecting cops to show up. I figured all the mommies would pitch in to help pay the fine if the owner got busted.
There was a discussion of which neighbor might rat the owner out. She said she witnessed the most likely candidate illegally watering their own yard, so she felt safe.
I was talking to another friend the other day who said they just bought one of those blow up water slides. I said, “Doesn’t your county have a watering ban?” He said “Screw that. You can tell by looking at my grass I don’t water. If I want to run a sprinkler for my kids I will.”
I think moms like using backyard pools and sprinklers in the middle of the day because they are easy, they are relatively safe compared to a deep, big pool, they are cheap and they can be done on the fly.
Are you cheating on the watering ban to let your kids play? Would you attend a sprinkler party when you know there is a ban on? Would you help pay a fine if the host got busted? Should families be able to trade out watering times — if I don’t water my grass today then the kids can use the sprinkler for an hour in the afternoon?
By Theresa
April 28, 2008 5:52 PM | Link to this
Dear Smokey - I knew it was you and knew you hadn’t forgotten — I’m not afraid to talk about the drought, water restrictions or evironmentalism per last week’s very popular blog on environmentalism and our schools. Happy to honor our devoted readers’ requests!
By new mom
April 28, 2008 6:09 PM | Link to this
Hi Theresa! I was just working on dinner, and I have a suggestion for a future blog topic: have the rising food prices affected your family? what are some of your ways to stretch your food dollar, while trying to put a healthy dinner on the table? Maybe not a very controversial or shocking topic, but we might all learn a trick from each other. And don’t worry, I’m not trying to ambush you like Smokey’s watering ban….
PS—did you ever try the crock pot idea for sunday lunches after church? if so, did it remind you of sundays growing up? :)
By BabyDaddy
April 28, 2008 6:47 PM | Link to this
My son is about 3 1/2 and is only now beginning to put together short sentences and is sometimes hard to understand (“Ls” are a big problem). He is very active, intelligent; navigates well through iPods, cell phone menus etc. He likes to work with tools and all kinds of stuff. He is very thoughtful and witty as well. We noticed that once he went back to daycare since the school year began back his languange skills developed a bit but he still has a long way to go as far as being articulate. I think being around other developing kids challenged him to step it up.
We were a little worried at first but I guess little boys do not generally speak as early and clearly as girls. My daughter conversely was carrying on fully articulate conversations from just before 3.
One thing I noticed is that he uses his words when he wants to. Sometimes I have to make him stop and look at me and watch me as a enunciate, then he tries and does better. I think this has been his issue all along. He wants to do things his way and in his time.
By a parent of an autistic child
April 29, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
Your comments about autism are not appropriate for a health related blog. Either move the blog or be better informed.
It must be nice in your perfect ivory tower.
By Magenta
April 30, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
My son did similar things when he was 4 and very verbal. He saw Don King on TV, when King was going through some major legal scandal in the ’90s, and somehow gathered that King was “a bad man.” But how to explain tax evasion or whatever he was in trouble for? So I told my son “He smokes cigarettes” to give him an example of “bad.” My son then went on to add “He hits his mommy and he doesn’t flush,” then added a few more examples. It was hilarious – but any time we were with friends and I’d say to my son “Tell them about Don King,” my son would get this frozen smile and say “Don King!” Great. He could sing “You Are My Sunshine” all the way through and several verses of “Splish Splash,” but somehow all of this flew out of his head if there was anyone else around except me. Theresa, I can definitely relate. How do we convince the world our babies are geniuses and prodigies when the kids make liars out of us??