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December 2007
No more time outs; time for a ‘lifestyle change’
Demotion from Wise Man to agricultural worker was signal of serious trouble. Do you think even non-violent video games affect how kids act? How much video game time is OK at what age?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s never a good thing when you see your child’s school phone number pop up on your caller ID.
I always immediately answer: “What’s wrong? Is he/she (depending on the phone number) OK?”
A few weeks before Christmas, I received one of these phone calls from my son’s preschool director. She called to inform me that lately my 4-year-old had not been himself. Normally a cooperative, cheerful child, he recently had become argumentative and defiant.
And this day, things had gotten particularly bad. His class had gone into the church to practice their Christmas show. My son had been made a Wise Man in the Nativity because he was such an enthusiastic singer and usually a good leader in his class.
But that day, he didn’t feel like practicing. He, in fact, refused to participate at all. Regrettably, the director informed me, he had to be demoted.
He was removed from his post as Wise Man No. 2. Instead, Walsh could choose between being a shepherd or a sheep - both much less demanding roles. (The director was sorry. She is a Walsh fan.)
We were sad he lost out on being a lead in the show, but we weren’t surprised by the news that he wasn’t being cooperative. His teacher, whom we love, had already let us know he had been having a hard time. The teacher and I both felt he was acting out because he needed a little more attention at home, which we were trying to remedy.
But with this news, I started to think maybe there was more to it. I wondered if his bad behavior was related to playing his father’s video game system.
He’s not allowed to play violent games or even to play them for a long time. But he had recently started playing this addictive game called Beautiful Katamari. My rudimentary understanding of it is that you roll a giant ball all over the world picking up cars, houses, cows, etc… trying to make your ball the biggest. You travel from world to world and meet cousins. He was obsessed with collecting these little cousins.
The morning of the demotion he had been playing his video game and I made him turn it off to go to school. He was mad at me when he got out of the car and took it out on his teachers.
I decided after the director’s call that things had to change. When he got in the car that afternoon, I told him he was being cut off from the X-Box. I told him it wasn’t a punishment. It was a lifestyle change.
He cried in his car seat - anything but that.
I unplugged the whole system when we got home and put it in a closet. He just stared at the empty hole in the entertainment cabinet . He held in his little hands a controller that I neglected to put away.
Later he inquired, “How many days until my lifestyle change is over?”
I said, “Well that’s just the point. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s indefinite.”
He’s been telling anyone who will listen that he’s having a “lifestyle change”. And while it’s so funny hearing him say it, I do think it’s made an impact. For the most part, he’s back being the sweet little boy we know. He’s playing more with his toys and using his imagination. He’s being more cooperative at school and less argumentative in general.
As far as his demotion goes, he claims he didn’t want to be a Wise Man anyway. He said he really wanted to be a shepherd because he liked the outfit better.
Family fun picks for the school holidays
A few ideas for holiday fun for the unexhausted.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Well, it’s all over now. We’re exhausted and the house is a mess. Today we’re cleaning up and moving toys where they belong. If you’re not completely wiped out, here are some ideas for fun while your kids are home from school:
Cooking
Monkey bread - My girlfriend made a version of this at our mom’s brunch a few weeks ago, and it was delicious. I didn’t get her recipe before they left town but I found a bunch on the Internet. I made this recipe the day before Christmas and the reheated Christmas morning. It turned out pretty well. Here’s one recipe but the site also has a link to other versions. See what you think. The kids can totally help make it.
Pillsbury’s already rolled-out sugar cookie dough - My kids love to use cookie cutters but I’m always worn out after making the dough and rolling it out. So, we bought the already made, rolled-out dough. I got icing in little squirters in the baking aisle and lots of sprinkles.
We ended up doing one of the packages on Christmas Eve morning. They did a great job with it. It was very easy and just the right thickness to make very nice cookie cut-outs. We cut out the cookies on wax paper with a little bit of flour sprinkled on it.
Pretzels dipped in chocolate - One our friends gave these out as goodies. They were so festive but had to be easy to make. She took the large pretzel rods, bought the chocolate you melt in the microwave to dip them in, and then covered with cookie sprinkles. We tried it a week ago and they were very easy and tasty. Our biggest problem was I needed something long and thin to hold the chocolate to dip the pretzels in. I ended up just sort of rolling the pretzels in the chocolate and it didn’t look as pretty. But it did keep them occupied.
Easy gingerbread houses - If you’re feeling a little more ambitious, you can make little gingerbread houses. Many of you may have made these before, but I’m sure there are some new moms out there who haven’t seen it done. Here are the quick and dirty directions:
You need a school milk carton-size box - grocery stores have the little Tropicana boxes that would work just fine. Buy graham crackers, canned white icing and different types of candy (Twizzlers, red hots, candy canes, Skittles all work well.) Spread the icing on the sides of the little box then stick the graham crackers on to make the house. Then use the icing to stick the candy on the house to decorate it.
We also used large marshmallows and pretzel sticks to make snowmen. Use one pretzel stick to spear the three marshmallows together to make the snowman. You can also use the pretzel sticks as arms. Another cute touch is to use sugar ice cream cones turned upside down as Christmas trees. Tint the icing green and spread it on the little tree.
On the entertainment front, here are some things we’ve seen:
Movies
“Enchanted” - Three adults and one teenager took one 6-year-old girl to see this movie, and we all thoroughly enjoyed it. It was funny, cute, sweet and very tolerable to adults. I’m not sure if my 4-year-old would have liked it. It was pretty girly.
“Alvin and the Chipmunks” - A big fan of the Chipmunks, I took my 6- and 4-year-old and met my brother, his wife and their 6- and 2-year-old to see the new movie. The kids loved it. The parents suffered. There are a lot of gas passing jokes, and you really have to suspend disbelief. While I was checking my watch wondering why Jason Lee would agree to play Dave, the kids were cracking up.
“Bee Movie” - It’s still out there and if you haven’t seen it, it is worth checking out. It was cute for the whole family. The story hangs together pretty well. The animation is good. The jokes are funny to kids and adults.
The Water Horse - This movie opened on Christmas Day and my kids are fascinated by the trailer. One review I read said it had some pretty scary parts to it. So I’m not quite sure whether to take them or not. Let us know if you see and what you think. How old can kids be to go? Did you kids like it?
Stone Mountain Park Christmas - My parents took our 6- and 4-year-old a few weeks ago to the park for all the Christmas stuff. It isn’t cheap, but the kids really had a great time. They spent about six hours there. My kids sat still for all the live shows and loved seeing the Snow Fairy at the end of the parade (happens at the end of the night). They also liked riding the train. All I remember from years past was that food service was slow and expensive. The Christmas stuff is there through Dec. 30.
Fun at home:
We recently discovered that Comcast cable has Karaoke on the On Demand section under music. It’s free. They have holiday songs, as well as ’80s, country, current hits, and all kinds of categories. It’s fun for the whole family - or at least those members that can read. (Only kidding, kids would love to see their parents be silly.) Side note: Jesse’s Girl, they have “Jessie’s Girl”!!! I did a fantastic job on it — would have made you proud!
Disney’s Scene It - Santa brought this game last year and it’s very fun for all ages. We play in teams - girls against boys often. My parents like to play with us. Even the 4-year-old can get answers right in this game.
Permalink | Comments (15) | Categories: Family Life
Volunteering draws family close in far away land
What family volunteer opportunities do you know about?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As many high school and college students wander aimlessly about their houses this Christmas break, parents may be wondering how to keep them busy, how to share some quality family time with them and how to reinforce important life lessons, such as giving.
Separately, these are all formidable tasks. Together they seem nearly insurmountable. But one mom recently wrote about her solution, and I wanted to share it with you.
My husband forwarded to me this story from Associated Press writer Maria Sudekum Fisher about how she spent her last Christmas break with her teenagers caring for babies in a foreign hospital. Here are some excerpts from her story:
“TUTOVA, Romania — My teenage daughters, Emma and Lilly, are both surrounded by babies.
“Lilly, the 15-year-old who will baby-sit back home in Kansas City, Mo., only if she’s desperate for cash, has 4-month-old Vlad in one arm and Mihae-la, about 9 months, in the other. Little Abel is at Lilly’s feet making gurgling noises. Everyone is smiling. “Emma, 17, vowed years ago (when she was 12) that she would never have kids and that little girls especially bugged her. Today she’s helping supervise the toddler room, tossing Dumitru into the air, while two other young ones howl because they want a turn on this new carnival ride called Emma….
“Two weeks earlier we were home in Missouri getting ready for Christmas. Now the entire Fisher family — my husband, Hal, Emma, Lilly and I — are in Romania, at Tutova Hospital’s Failure to Thrive Clinic with seven other people from Global Volunteers.
“We’re one of the largest Global Volunteer teams to make the trip to the hospital in Tutova, a tiny town in northeast Romania.
“Our purpose is to help the staff care for 42 infants and toddlers, whose ages range from about 4 months to 4. We bring a lot of enthusiasm but no special expertise, though our team does include a pediatric nurse whose pockets are filled with Twizzlers and Cheerios….
“I saw the Romania volunteer trip as a chance for our family to visit a new part of the world, maybe lend a hand and spend some concentrated time together — which has been getting pretty tough to come by.
“Discovering my daughters’ nascent maternal instincts would be a side benefit. About two months after those first Web searches, there we were in our stocking feet —each of us up to our ears in little kids. Hal and Lilly worked in the non mobile (baby) room. Emma worked with toddlers, and I had the special-needs kids.
“Most of the children at Tutova have been brought to the clinic because they were severely underweight or their families were simply too poor to adequately care for them. They typically stay until they are 3 years old, or until they can return to their families, get adopted or move on to another facility.
“We spent our days, starting about 9 a.m., awash in children. We all held, played with, fed and soothed children until lunch.
“Emma and Lilly rose to the task. They patted the children’s backs, held their bottles and ran around the halls with them, even when they were exhausted and could have used a break….
“On our last day, Emma stood over tiny Ana Maria’s crib and cried. I told Emma that the babies would be cared for, and some would find good homes. I wanted to mean it.
I told Lilly the same thing on the train to Bucharest as she cried quietly with her head in her hands. ‘What’s going to happen to all of them?’ she wanted to know.
“I didn’t have a perfect answer. But I wanted her to understand that the days she and her sister spent with the babies were happy for all of them, and that meant something.
“We have since returned home. Emma has her toddlers’ names taped to her wall where she sees them every day. Lilly’s Facebook is filled with photos of her infants.
“They both remain skeptical about having kids. But each night before dinner, they end grace with a simple prayer, one any mother knows: ‘Bless our babies.’ ”
Every time I read this story, I tear up. I think about how much our whole family holds, hugs and kisses our new little baby, and how much attention these Romanian children must need.
While there are plenty of local charities that would be more convenient and less expensive to help (You do have to pay to get to Romania.), I can’t imagine a more worthwhile experience. Healing, holding and loving these babies. Traveling with your own children and reinforcing the importance of giving and caring. How could a Christmas break be spent any better?
Check out Maria’s story in full and read about more opportunities to volunteer as a family.
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What to buy for husbands/daddies?
We need your best ideas for gifts for the men in our lives.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve been a little stumped this year about what to buy for my husband for Christmas. I actually typed into Google “presents Michael would like.” Nothing good popped up, but I was hoping. I keep asking the kids - sometimes they have some really good insight but so far nothing that’s getting me really excited.
Help us out! Give us your very best ideas for gifts for husbands and daddies! What are some gifts that have been successful for you in the past?
What’s the perfect family holiday card?
Is it a beach shot from the summer or the children posed in front of the Christmas tree? What makes the perfect family holiday card?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
What do you use for your holiday card? Do you change it out each year or always do the same thing? Do you use photos? Do you enclose a letter too?
We are completely incapable of getting one shot of all our children smiling so for the last four years we have used a collage of all our favorite photos of the children throughout the year. We feel like our friends and family who live far away get a feeling for what the kids have been up to all year long.
This year we’ve realized we took a ton a photos of the baby and not too many of the other kids. We had a hard time filling out the card this year.
We used to write an update letter too, but we stopped doing it two years ago because we decided people were probably judging us when they read it.
What do you like to send out for the holidays?
My 4-year old son’s theme song should be ‘To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before’
What effect do you think early crushes have on kids?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When I went to pick up my 4-year-old son from Sunday school a few weeks ago, I found him professing his love to a little girl in his class.
He repeatedly wrapped his arms around her shoulders hugging her tightly, telling her each time “I love you.” “I love you.”
The girl would pull away and make a face and then move her body back into position waiting for him to hug her again.
Many mothers would have been surprised by this scene, but not me. My son has expressed his love to several little girls already in his short life.
It started when he was 2. He would come home from class and tell me he loved Montse. He was a smart 2-year-old. Montse was beautiful - olive skin, dark eyes, long blonde hair. But that’s not why he loved her. He said he loved her because she was his friend.
She was in his 3-year-old class as well. His love never wavered. She was the only girl to be invited to his all-boy 4-year-old party.
Sadly, Montse switched schools this year, so he’s had to move on to other girls. Besides his new Sunday school girlfriend, my son is also in love with Gracie at preschool. I think my son decided he loved Gracie when they showed up to school in the same Target holiday shirt - “I love my mummy!” Now he says he loves her because he likes her jacket. It has hearts on it and he says it makes his eyes hearts too.
I’m not sure how long Gracie or the Sunday school crushes will last - he says he also likes a second little girl in his preschool class. He’s very busy!
My little guy routinely attracts older women as well. While sitting in time out at his sister Rose’s field day, some 5th grade girls came over to comfort him. Before long, he was up doing the field day stations with the help of these older girls. He’s definitely a charmer. At pools, restaurants, hotel lobbies we often find him chatting up the prettiest ladies in the room.
My 6-year-old daughter also has numerous crushes, but they aren’t on classmates - they’re on random teen-age boys.
Last year she was introduced by her father to the singing group The All-American Rejects. She decided then and there that she loved Tyson Ritter, the lead singer. I’ve never seen this guy but I know what he looks like. Anytime she walks by grungy-looking teen-age boys (floppy hair, hair in the eyes, sloppy clothes), she coos “I think I’m in love! He looks like Tyson Ritter.”
Her crushes are less of a problem now than my son’s (I don’t want him getting in trouble for hugging his classmates.), but I think hers could be more troublesome later.
All I can think when she points out these boys is “This is the type of boy she likes. This is the type of boy she’s going to bring home to date in 10 years!” Hopefully, her taste will change as she matures.
Of course I have a theory about why my children have these early crushes - I always have a theory.
I credit the crushes on two things: The first is that it’s hereditary. I always had little boyfriends in school. My 4-year-old class, my kindergarten class, first through fifth grades, I had lots of little crushes and boys who liked me back.
But probably more influential on their love habits is that we are a very demonstrative family at home. Not so much between me and Michael - I won’t kiss him during the cold and flu season - but the children are constantly showered with hugs, kisses and “I love yous”.
They are greeted with several hugs and kisses when they wake up. At least two “I love yous” as they leave for school. Giant hugs, kisses and “I missed yous” when they come from school. Random hugs and “I love yous” during the afternoon and of course at bed time.
I may have messed up other parts of mothering, but these are some children who know they are loved. They see us model how to show emotion and affection, and they know how to share it as well. Boy, do they know how to share it.
What toys survived the year?
Are your kids still playing with anything from last Christmas?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I think the greatest recommendation for a toy is one that your kids are still playing with a year later. Have any toys survived the year at your house? Would you recommend them to other parents?
The marble run has survived the year and is one my son’s favorite toys. His Teen Titans and Spiderman action figures also are still being played with. His DK guides to Spiderman, Batman and Superman are still in the rotation.
As for my daughter, the Leap Frog Geography Globe, Crowns and Gowns game, plastic model of the planets, Barbies and her American Girl doll (from my mom) are still being used.
What toys are your kids still playing with from last Christmas?
Do you have a ‘tramp stamp?’
Do you have one of those lower-back tattoos? How’s it working out for you now as a mom? Or did you get it as a mom?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I had brunch on Sunday with my original playgroup from six years ago. I don’t get to see these eight moms very often, but when I do, I learn a lot.
For example, I learned this weekend that those popular tattoos on the small of a woman’s back are called “tramp stamps.” I have never heard that term before, but I’m loving it.
They were telling me about a husband who kept asking his wife, and the mother of his children, to get a tattoo on her back. We thought that was a little bit odd and maybe a little too late to be doing it.
Have you heard the term before? Do you think it’s a fair name? Do you have a lower-back tattoo? Did you get it as a mom or before? Is it embarrassing now as a mom? What do your husband and kids think? Do you think other moms are judging you at the pool or on the playground if they see it?
Do you believe in the birth-order theories?
Do your children and friends’ children fall into the generalized categories? Do you think birth order determines a child's future?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
If you read Time Magazine’s recent cover story about the implications of birth order, you would think your second- and third-borns should just start drinking now and reserve their spots at the Union Mission.
While I am exaggerating a little bit, the story, which ran Oct. 29, did paint a grim picture for the latter-borns in a family.
Based on scientific studies and anecdotal evidence about celebrity siblings, the gist of the story is that first-borns are generally smarter, healthier, more successful academically and professionally, and even higher paid than their younger siblings.
For example, the story begins by pointing out that poor Elliott Roosevelt, President Theodore Roosevelt’s younger brother, was an alcoholic and addicted to morphine. He battled depression and died young from alcoholism.
The article implies that his problems were a result of having a successful older brother he didn’t measure up against. Wouldn’t the more obvious reason for his troubles be the chemical and biological factors that caused his depression and addictive behavior?
I’m not generally a big naysayer of medical studies, but as a second-born I am incredulous about much of the birth-order research. I think the importance of birth order and the irrevocability of its implications is a bunch of malarkey.
I do not believe that the order in which a child arrives on this planet predestines him to a certain fate or specific character traits. From what I have observed and experienced, I think children react and respond to the personalities of their siblings and parents to find their place in the family. I think they also respond to the amount and quality of attention they receive from their parents. I believe these factors are far greater in shaping our children’s personalities than the order they left the womb.
For example, the article states that based on a Norwegian study the eldest is generally three IQ points ahead of the second born and so on down - probably the result of mentoring the younger sibs.
This doesn’t resonate for me or for many of my friends’ families. I know plenty of second- and third-borns who are genetically smarter than their elder siblings. I also know plenty who just worked harder. Also, how do researcher’s account for the benefit the younger children receive from learning from their elder siblings?
A personal example: My second child is reading before my first did. He knew his alphabet and letter sounds about the same time, if not earlier, than my daughter. He’s learned this by listening to her learn to read.
Our third-born was crawling at 4 and 1/2 months (long before my other two did) and is trying to walk at 8 months (again long before the other two did). She learned this by watching her older sibling and wanting to be with them.
Both younger sibs have a much greater understanding of the world around them because of watching the elders learn and function.
The story also quoted a study from the Philippines that showed that later-born siblings tended to be shorter and weighed less than the earlier borns. While it doesn’t offer an explanation of this particular study’s results, it does point out later, as there are more mouths to feed, food resources can become scarce.
Again, I’m not seeing the eldest child necessarily being the largest in my family or with my friends’ children. (I understand we’re all getting three square meals a day and in some families they are not.) My second child was born heavier than my first. He grew at an unbelievable rate putting on a pound a week for the first eight weeks. Two years younger than his older sister, only a few pounds separate them now. Our third child also was born within ounces of her siblings (bigger than her sister, smaller than her brother) and also outpaced her older sister’s growth as an infant. It appears, at least for me, when you’ve breastfed previous babies you actually have more milk to offer the next ones. No scarcity there.
And, I am only partially buying into the old Jan-Brady-middle-child syndrome. Nine months into having three children, we are seeing our middle child needing a little more attention. But unlike the birth-order theories, I think this can happen to any child, not just the middle one.
We have been giving a lot of attention to the baby of course and to our eldest child and her homework. My son has started acting out, and I believe it’s because he needs more of our time and energy. I think that a parent can remedy this with some special time for whichever child needs it.
I think children react and respond to their siblings to find a place in the family - but I don’t think that place is set in stone. And I think observant parents can help their children find that special space without anyone having to be the “bad” or “unsuccessful” sibling.
Do you pick up your own gifts?
For convenience-sake and sometimes just to make sure it’s the right thing, do you ever just buy your own presents?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I was in Target this week and I saw something I wanted for Christmas, the A&E version of “Pride and Prejudice.” I picked it up and threw it my cart congratulating myself on helping my husband get his list done for me. As I mentioned earlier in the week, he hates shopping. He rarely gets to stores so if I see it, then why not buy it?
And then I remembered a few years back when he got mad that I picked some things up at the cooking shop for myself. I wasn’t using the presents ahead of time. I just was trying to be efficient. He didn’t think it could be considered a gift if I was buying it myself.
I decided he could order the movie from Amazon, and I put it back on the shelf. We’ll see if it shows up Christmas morning.
I am sending him to the store to get one of his presents. He wants a DVR/DVD burner all in one type-thingy. Clearly, you don’t want me picking this out.
Do you ever pick up your presents for convenience or for accuracy? Does your spouse get mad? Does it ruin the idea of gift-giving or is just using your time wisely?
Permalink | Comments (3) | Categories: Relationship
Tell us how/where you fell in love?
We recently found on Facebook a photo essay of a couple’s love story. Tell us your's.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My husband recently found on Facebook a ton of photos of the U.S. Army base his family lived on in Munich when he was a child. He was fascinated by the photos. I was interested in the people who posted them.
The photos were posted by a married couple who apparently met while living on the base as teens and returned to visit where they fell in love. They took about a thousand photos and wrote captions of all the different locations that were important to their love story. They had all these photos of them kissing at different places on this former base. It was really quite sweet.
If I had to put together a photo essay of our love story, it would be set in Athens. Photos would include:
Shots at the old location of The Red and Black - The college newspaper where we met and worked together.
A meeting room in one of the academic buildings on North Campus, where he accompanied me to cover a story for the newspaper but really just wanted to hang out with me.
Bennigan’s — Site of our first dinner after covering the event. I knew I was in trouble when he tried to pay for me.
His old Audi - Long gone, the car that drove us on all our dates until after we were married. I broke the hand brake on the car shortly into our relationship and the damn brake light stayed lit for three years reminding me of the mistake.
His apartment in River Mill - Site where he tried to convince me not to go home after our first date because it was so cold outside. (Best line ever! It totally didn’t work!)
The Catholic Center - Site of our second date because I needed a ride to church.
Tate Student Center movie theater - Site of our third official date, where I decided I actually liked him.
Tell us your love story. Where are the places that played an important part in you falling in love. Describe for us a photo essay of your love story.
Permalink | Comments (19) | Categories: Relationship
Do you live with a Grinch?
What is at the root of the bah-humming? Do you overdo the holidays? How can you simplify for a more joyful, restful holiday?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
While the kids and I are gleefully pulling out holiday decorations and making our lists for Santa, my husband has begun his annual festering over how much he hates Christmas.
Like the Grinch holed up in his cave, my husband begins his slow boil a few weeks before Thanksgiving as soon as he sees the first ridiculously premature TV ad.
He grumbles; he groans: “The stores, the radio, the TV are turning what should be a magical couple of weeks into a slow death march of shopping, unnecessary decorating and burdensome tasks.”
My husband smolders over holiday traffic, unproductive employees, wasted money and the excess of the holidays. A Charlie Brown disciple, he thinks the holiday season is overblown and over-commercialized. His basic complaints are as follows:
It starts too early and lasts too long.
Workers don’t want to do anything — “It’s the holidays,” they say.
Schools don’t accomplish anything.
Every weekend is just a list to get done - shop, address and mail cards, shop, decorate.
He hates decorations. He finds them to be wastes of money, time and energy. And they clutter the house to boot.
He hates lines. He hates crowds. He hates traffic. All of these are in abundance at the mall. And, by the way, if you haven’t guessed, he hates malls.
He hates shopping in general, but especially at Christmas. It’s crowded. It’s gluttonous. He thinks Dante’s Inferno has a special level just for catalogs - especially the ones that come multiple times a week and display mostly candles.
And it all ends with that magical trip back to the miserable crowded mall to return all the stuff that you didn’t want or need in the first place.
Depressed yet? Bringing you down?
I usually just try to ignore his Scrooge imitation, but as I have been working on this piece and talking with him more about his feelings, I started to think maybe all his negativity could be used to improve our holiday experience. Maybe we could simplify to make it more enjoyable for everyone in the family.
Serendipitously, I ran across a book this week at the library called ‘Simplify Your Christmas - 100 Ways to Reduce the Stress and Recapture the Joy of the Holidays,’ by Elaine St. James.
She suggests that families first make a list of the things they like about their holiday and the things they remember from their childhood. Then make a list of everything they don’t like. Narrow down the lists and choose a few things to continue.
Don’t buy into Madison Avenue’s image of what Christmas is supposed to be like - floor covered with toys under the tree, complicated parties and meals, expensive gifts.
Don’t buy the women’s magazines with “simple” projects that took three editors and a stylist weeks to create for publication.
She points out that organizing to get through all your holiday tasks (like shopping in June) is not simplifying. Start the holiday closer to the actual date and truly eliminate tasks.
Focus more what you can do with your family, but even that doesn’t have to be complicated. She gave an example of a family who used to drive into the city to see a big Christmas musical each year. It was stressful and expensive. They decided to skip it one year and heard carolers singing close-by. The family had a wonderful inexpensive musical experience in their own town.
Focus on charitable acts.
Reduce the amount you are buying. Give your time and talent instead - such as coupons to take adventures with your kids each month. If you must buy, she suggests giving consumable things (such as movie tickets, restaurant gift cards), not things that clutter.
The book is from 1998 and has a few dated references, but overall was a fast read and helpful at refocusing me for the holiday season.
I am decorating this weekend, and I will probably do less after reading this book. We already had limited the number of gifts per child this year, and I’m almost done with my shopping.
I want us to read, watch our favorite Christmas shows, bake and cuddle as a family. If the mood strikes to go and see lights or have people over, we’ll do it simply.
We’ve started our charitable acts, and I want the kids to do several this month. I liked the author’s suggestion of having the children do at least one kind thing a week.
I think maybe by simplifying a little, my Grinch will be more relaxed and happy and in return the whole family will be too.
