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November 2007
Did vaginal delivery hurt sex life?
A study says vaginal delivery should leave your sex life no worse for the wear.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
While poking around the Fit Pregnancy Web site on another story, I happened upon this story from last March. Even though it’s not new to them, it’s new to us and very interesting. Here’s the gist:
Many women are concerned that a vaginal delivery will ruin sex for them or their partner. However, a study found that the method of delivery had little impact on the sexual activity of the woman one year after giving birth. Instead it suggested that your sexual frequency would be about the same as before you gave birth. Here’s the full study.
That could be good news or bad news depending on how often you were having sex in the first place.
I have one funny friend who talks all the time about having vaginal rejuvenation - where a plastic surgeon tightens your vagina back up to the way it used it be before pushing out children.
Do you think your sex life has been affected by giving birth (not the fact that there are children in the house)? Do you think a vaginal delivery has changed sex - for better or worse? Would you choose a C-section to avoid a vaginal birth for worries about sex later? (What doctor would allow that?) Would you consider vaginal rejuvenation?
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Are you using the ‘Santa Threat?’
Are you claiming ‘he’s’ watching to promote good behavior? How many months of year can you get away with it?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We went to a friend’s house to play yesterday. It was four 4-year-old little boys and one baby (a cat and a dog too). You can well imagine the chaos.
I was helping my friend with a computer problem in her office when I heard one of the other moms yell from the kitchen, “You guys better be good. Santa Claus is watching.”
It made me laugh. We rarely pull out the “Santa Threat.” Don’t get wrong - we’ve used it on occasion. In fact, I used it last night at dinner because it was fresh on my mind. Our kids definitely believe in Santa but they don’t seem very scared that he won’t show up.
Do you ever pull out the “Santa Threat?” How many months of the year can you get away with it? Does it seem to work? Do you feel bad using it?
Permalink | Comments (4) | Categories: Family Life
2 Ga. towns tops for families
BusinessWeek.com released its top 50 places to raise your kids and Atlanta is not one of them. But two Georgia towns did make the list.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
BusinessWeek.com published recently its top 50 Best Places to Raise your Kids. The list was based on finding the right combination of safety, community and education. It used five criteria: test scores, cost of living, recreational and cultural activities, number of schools and risk of crime.
Two of the towns are right here in Georgia - Patterson (which is near Savannah) was No. 50 and Franklin (which is 65 miles from Atlanta) was No. 35. I’ve never heard of either of them - sorry towns!
Here is the link to the story and the list.
What do you think of the choices? Do you happen to live in Patterson or Franklin? Have you ever visited them? Tell us why they are so great!
Do these lists affect your perception of your own town? Would you ever choose a location to move to based on this type of list? Would you seek employment in a town that was rated high or if you happened to end up in one just feel good about it?
Permalink | Comments (97) | Categories: Family Life
Colleges compete for the loyalty of a 4-year-old
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For the last three years I’ve taken my daughter to at least one Georgia Tech game. My father, who is a Georgia Tech grad, wants all his grandchildren to see and enjoy his alma mater. But my 4-year-old son has refused to go.
We have begged him, bribed him, threatened him, but he was NOT going to see those Yellow Jackets play. In fact, he’s vowed that if he ever ran across ‘that bee’, as he calls Buzz, he would beat him up!
This is not the normal reaction of a 2-, 3-, and 4-year-old child. This is the reaction of a child who has been brainwashed by his Dawg-loving father to hate Georgia Tech. I don’t think it’s unusual for children to take on the views of their parents. They often reflect their parents’ thoughts on the arts, food, politics and even on negative things such as race.
I’ve heard from school teachers that they can often tell how parents are voting and what their general views are from what their children spout at school. Whether passively learned or actively taught, what’s talked about at home is there for teachers to hear.
Like all parents, I’m sure we’ve passed onto our kids some good things and some bad.
They know going to church is important to us. They know we don’t like clear-cutting trees to make new neighborhoods. And they know we are lucky to have warm clothes, warm food and a warm house, and we should share our blessings.
On the negative side, they know that their father likes Rihanna and the X-Box and they do too. (Neither of these is inherently bad, I’m just not sure they are appropriate for children.) For my own part, they know I tend to say bad words, which my children pick up sometimes. I’m working on that.
My son’s blind devotion to Georgia used to be cute. He wanted to wear white and red arm sweatbands like D.J. Shockley. He wore a Georgia football jersey every single day for at least half a year. (Note the photo on our blog site from two years ago. He’s in a red jersey.) But now his father’s fervent beliefs are creating an internal struggle that I don’t think a 4-year-old should have to deal with.
Michael was attending the Georgia-Kentucky game two Saturdays ago and I had planned to take Rose and the baby to see the Ga. Tech game with my parents. Walsh didn’t have a choice this year. There was no one to keep him. He was going to see Ga. Tech play.
I felt bad for the little guy. He didn’t want to have a good time. His loyalty was to his father. He resisted valiantly for a while. When the band was welcoming the team he ignored them. When the Rambling Wreck drove down the street and onto the sidewalk right in front of us, he hid behind a pole. When that bee came over, he refused to get near him. He wouldn’t hug him or pose for a photo. But when his guard was down and he didn’t think anyone was watching, he was smiling and shaking his booty to the band. His eyes widened when he saw the band playing en masse in their bright white uniforms on the steps in front of the stadium.
What truly broke him down though was Georgia Tech’s FanFest. Across from the stadium, were four blow-up bouncy activities. He completely acquiesced. (Maybe the CIA should try those on Al-Qaeda operatives. They’ll crack just like the 4-year-old.)
As with all indoctrination, kids get older and learn to think for themselves. Even at 6, my daughter has figured out that she can drive her father crazy by telling him she’s rooting for Georgia Tech or even worse that she loves those Gators. Hopefully, my son will be more receptive to that bee as he grows older.
Will you be visiting American Girl Boutique over holidays?
We’ve talked about the American Girl phenomenon before, but now that we have our own store, will you going for tea or a doll hair-do?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I know there were crazy lines when Atlanta’s own American Girl store opened. My mother has been several times and has been dying to take my daughter and my niece. My niece and sister-in-law are really into it. My daughter’s kind of into it.
My mother was smart and took my niece last week when Gwinnett County schools had early release. She knew it would crazy crowded on the weekends and guessed it would be during the holidays. They both brought their dolls (that’s right my mom has one too!). They took their time looking at all dolls and accessories and then they had a snack. (My mom warns the portion sizes are huge!) They both loved it.
I haven’t been so I can’t personally attest to the experience. Here’s a story about a family that traditionally visits the New York store.
Have you already been to the Atlanta American Girl Boutique and Bistro? Will you try to go over the holiday break? What are you most excited about seeing or doing there? How much are you willing to drop? Would you recommend the experience? How long would you be willing to wait to get in?
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Toys ‘R’ Us courting parents with safety letters
Does this e-mail make you feel better? What’s your strategy for toy buying this Christmas?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I got an interesting e-mail from Toys ’R’ Us last Friday assuring me that the company is doing everything it can to ensure that the toys it is selling are safe. Here’s an online version of the letter I received by e-mail.
It did have a couple of items in the letter I didn’t know: Toys ’R’ Us has hired a company to re-test toys off of their shelves. It is also telling manufacturers to increase their own testing frequency of any product shipped to Toys ’R’ Us. Toys ’R’ Us will take back any recalled toy whether it was sold there or not with or without a receipt. It is advocating a code system on the toys so they are more easily identifiable. The company also has developed its own safety Web site.
What do you think: Do these changes make you feel better about buying toys? Would the letter encourage you to shop at Toys ’R’ Us?
Are you making a special effort to buy toys this year made in America? Are you looking for “organic” toys? How much more are you willing to pay for toys not manufactured in China? What’s your Christmas shopping game plan?
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: Family Life
Ideal Thanksgiving: Enough for two teams
Are you hosting the family Thanksgiving this year? How do you handle your kids and out-of-town guests?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When it comes to Thanksgiving, my husband doesn’t care if we serve the potatoes mashed or roasted, if the pie is pumpkin or pecan or if the gravy has lumps. His only concern is: Will we have enough guests to field two teams for some serious competition after the meal?
Growing up with a large extended family, holidays for Michael meant playing rough-and-tumble sports with the dozens of uncles and cousins while the ladies cooked a giant meal inside. Sadly, my family of four could never muster enough people, or quite honestly the interest, to even play catch on the holidays.
But this year for the first time since he was about 18, there will be enough Giarrussos converging in one spot to make his sports dreams come true.
It only took 13 years of marriage, a bigger house and a dry run to prove ourselves worthy of hosting Thanksgiving, but we’ve finally convinced my husband’s family to spend the holiday with us.
Michael’s father, his wife and their daughter will be driving up from Florida on Wednesday. Michael’s brother and his girlfriend will be driving down from North Carolina also to join us. (Rose had told her uncle to bring a different girl the next time he visited - just for variety. Sorry Rose, he likes this one and we do too.)
And while I’m planning the menus and buying the food, my husband has been taking care of the essentials. He’s bought balls and more back-up air pumps than even the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has. He’s set up a backyard soccer goal and ordered an adjustable basketball goal to be installed at the end of the driveway before Thanksgiving Day.
He’s had the children — Rose and Walsh; the baby hasn’t expressed a preference yet — choosing up teams all week long. Uncle Victor is high up on the draft list, along with their Auntie Christina. No matter what the sport is, I’m always chosen last — even after my 50-something mother-in-law. That doesn’t seem right.
While I’m not being chosen first for the teams, I’m thrilled to have been chosen as hostess. I’ve always wanted to host a big family holiday. My mom usually hosts our family meals. When my brother’s family is out of town, I do get to cook, but it’s not a very big celebration. It’s exciting to have out-of-town company.
It’s not an easy task to finally earn the privilege of hosting the Thanksgiving meal. We had an unofficial try-out over Labor Day. My father-in-law, his wife and Michael’s sister came to visit the new house and the baby. This was our chance to prove we could make them comfortable and be good hosts.
We successfully served food on time, didn’t give anyone food poisoning, managed to take them interesting places, provided them with a clean bathroom, and kept the kids out of their belongings. When his father left us after Labor Day, he said “Well that’s the best dog and best baby I’ve ever met.” Translation: Your dog didn’t smell or jump on me and the baby didn’t wake me up at night. So he’s agreed to return for a follow-up visit, and we’re thrilled! He did have a few demands though. We needed to fix Rose’s bed before they returned. It rattled whenever you moved on it. We’ve taken care of that with a new box spring. But there are still lots of things to do before the great sports spectacular (err I mean Thanksgiving) begins:
Install basketball goal.
Fill in the small sink-hole near the left-side soccer goal.
Make sure the dog doesn’t smell.
Buy some decent coffee for my father-in-law and some really fancy coffee for my brother-in-law.
Hope the bunk bed we ordered for our son’s room shows up so Michael’s sister has a bed.
Buy some good wine so my brother-in-law doesn’t mind sleeping on a basement sofa.
Remove the frog anti-slip pads from the children’s/guest tub.
Take our Emergen-C so we don’t get anyone sick.
Oh yeah, and buy a turkey!
Does Alzheimer’s counteract jealousy?
A former Supreme Court justice is ‘thrilled’ her ailing husband has found love. How would you feel?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Would you let your spouse suffering from Alzheimer’s, or any other disease, develop a relationship with another person in a nursing home?
Sandra Day O’Connor’s son says his father, who is an Alzheimer’s patient, has developed a romance with a fellow Alzheimer’s patient at an assisted living center. He says his mother is not jealous and is happy that her ailing husband is comfortable where he is now living. Here’s the full story.
The assisted living center staff says the relationships are very childlike - the couples hold hands, hug or simply have dinner together.
My husband showed me the article yesterday morning and said there was no way he’d let me have a boyfriend at the home if he was still alive.
I told him if he was going to park me there and not try to be with me at least he could let me be comforted by someone that was close by.
What do you think? Would you let your spouse find a boyfriend or a girlfriend at the nursing home? Does their medical status affect the decision?
Permalink | Comments (14) | Categories: Battles between Mom and Dad
What to do for baby reflux/colick?
My friend’s baby is having a terrible time. Let’s use our collective wisdom to help her!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends whose new baby is having a terrible time with reflux. She can’t tell if she’s nursing her too much, too little. The drugs the doctor gave her are just not working and the poor, sweet baby is crying all the time. My friend sounds rattled and the baby is very unhappy!
None of my little people ever had reflux. My first did cry a lot in the afternoon and I’ve given her all my best tips for that - wearing the baby, taking her outside, giving her a bath, massaging her.
I was trying to find her reflux tips online, but then I figured some of you guys have to have been through this.
What are your best tips when dealing with reflux? What is the best way to determine what’s causing the trouble? (She’s seen her pediatrician and they keep calling him. I suggested a lactation consultant too.) What are the best ways to help the baby and my friend get some sleep? How did you get through dealing with reflux?
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Why is private/public school debate so heated?
Why do other parents care so much what school choice you make?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It started out so innocently - a fall festival at my child’s preschool.
I dressed up like Cinderella to help out in his classroom. Another mom showed up as Snow White. Everything was going fine until Snow White realized my first grader wasn’t at the private elementary school and then things got a little weird.
She was polite but she just kept at it - Why wasn’t she there? Isn’t it sad that we don’t have prayer in school? Isn’t it sad that they can’t celebrate the holidays? She kept insisting that the public schools don’t give nearly the workload that the private school does.
I told her why we made our decision and kept trying to change the subject. I felt just as strongly as she did about our choice, but I didn’t want to have it out in the middle of the preschool.
About a week later, another mom also started questioning me about our decision. This time I was going to cut it off. I told her we felt very good about our decision and felt strongly about it and that sometimes it wasn’t useful to discuss.
Why do parents - I guess on both sides, I’ve only experience it from one side - feel so strongly about their school choice that they want to convince you that you made the wrong choice? Do you think one side is more obnoxious about it than the other? How do you handle questions about why you chose the school you did?
Gifts parents should be afraid of
Glamorizing drugs and sending out sex toys, ’tis the season for giving.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Blogger’s note: Sorry I was out last week. The throw-up virus has become an inner-ear infection that has thrown off my entire sense of balance (literally). I haven’t been able to drive for a week - which is a terrible thing for a mom of three in Atlanta. It still isn’t solved (got to get a ride to the doctor later today), but the blog must go on - although I cannot vouch for my dizzy typing!
My biggest problem lately with the blog is there have just been too many items that I want to share with you guys, I’m having a hard time choosing! So even though it may not make for the most focused conversation, I’m just going to throw several items out there for you guys to see.
The first item is a Web site showing what appears to be a new product in the Bratz line. The line features a compact and perfume bottle that contain candy. The problem here is they kind of look like drugs. See what you think and discuss.
When I first read the headline on the second item, I thought it was a way for parents to send each other naughty gifts online. However, as I read further, it became a cautionary tale of what your teens could be sending each other online. Check it out and see what you think.
Permalink | Comments (7) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Throw-up bug heading to a school near you
It’s going around our school. Has your school already had it? Will your school be next?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I got the call today to come pick up my daughter from school. She threw up in the hallway walking to the library and then again in the clinic. The school nurse, a wonderful woman, told me to bring a bucket in the car. Not a good sign! (She also gave me a bunch of plastic gloves to take home so I wouldn’t infect the rest of my family!)
I think about two weeks ago my niece was throwing up, and it was going around her Gwinnett school, which I guess is about 20 miles from us. We didn’t see them at the time.
I’m fascinated by the idea of tracking, documenting and warning parents as viruses zoom through our local schools by using our blog community. I’m wondering if it’s possible. So let’s give it a try.
Tell us if your school has been hit in recent weeks with a throw-up type stomach bug. Tell us your general location (county, city) and the school if you’re comfortable with that. Let’s see if we can be like the CDC and track this bug through the metro Atlanta area.
We visited Phipps Plaza on Sunday so if your child was in the “Bee Movie” or at the Hanna Anderson store, watch out. Also my daughter’s Sunday School class should keep their eyes open!
P.S. I’m not feeling so good now. My husband says it’s psychosomatic. I just know I shared popcorn with her yesterday at the movie (“Bee Movie” - very cute!) and she was sleeping on my pillow for part of the night! Bummer!
Permalink | Comments (21) | Categories: Health
Me, my kids & the ER
As a pediatric ER veteran, I know the nurses by name and the best time to go. Do find you take your sons more than your daughters?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s never a good sign when you recognize the doctors and nurses at the pediatric ER. Regrettably, we have gotten to know the nurses and physicians at the Emory Eastside Medical Center Pediatric Urgent Care unit during the last three years by visiting them once a year.
It must be a boy thing. I’ve never taken my daughter (knock on wood), always my son. One of my friends who has three boys jokes that they visit Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta so frequently they keep her boys’ files on the counter.
The first time we went to Emory Eastside Pediatric unit, my then 2-year-old son had stuck a pomegranate seed up his nose. When I called the CHOA nurse line they said he needed to be taken in because he could snort the seed into his lung and aspirate on it. I told my son they would probably use an instrument to remove the seed. He thought about that and said “I choose a drum.”
It took about three hours to be seen. There were lots of children with lung issues being taken ahead of us, which I understood. The irony was when we got back there the nurses were more concerned with my son’s cold than the seed. They told me his oxygen level was too low and they did a breathing treatment to help open up his lungs. Eventually, they did use an instrument to extract the seed from his nose - although to my son’s disappointment it was not a drum.
The second trip was by far the worst for both of us and totally my fault. It was last winter and both children had colds. I always keep our medicine locked up, but I had taken down a prescription antihistamine to give them both before bed. I didn’t want to put the same medicine plunger in both their mouths so I stupidly left the bottle on the counter while I got another plunger from downstairs. The child-safety lock was sealed on the bottle, but I learned that doesn’t matter. My husband came upstairs a few minutes later and found my then 3-year-old son chugging half a bottle of antihistamine. He told my husband “I’m making myself feel better!”
We immediately called the Georgia Poison Control. They told me I had an hour to get him to the ER and get that medicine out of his stomach. Poison Control called ahead to the hospital and they took us immediately. Nurse Susan was one of the many nurses who took care of him. He had to be strapped papoose-style to a board to keep his arms immobile. Then the nurses worked a plastic tube up his nose and down his throat. They squeezed a thick black charcoal mixture through the tube into his stomach to absorb the medicine.
There was lots of screaming and crying from both us. The nurses and doctors did a great job but it was a horrifying experience.
After getting the charcoal into him, we had to wait at the hospital about five hours to make sure there wouldn’t be a reaction from the antihistamine. It was the middle of the night, but my little guy was in great spirits. He’s chatty like me and spent the rest of the night charming the nurses.
Our third visit was two Saturdays ago right before the Georgia-Florida game. I point this out because if you ever need to take child to the ER this is the time to do it - it was completely empty. I suspect, children across Georgia and Florida were sitting at home with broken arms and knocked out teeth waiting for the game to end so their parents would take them to the ER.
My son had a simple cold, but they always seem to settle in his lungs. He’s never been diagnosed with asthma but he was laboring to breathe. After consulting with our doctor, he told me take him to the ER.
Nurse Susan took care of us once more. We recognized several of the other nurses, and I’m pretty sure we had the same doctor.
They did his breathing treatment. It didn’t help as much as they hoped so they did a chest X-Ray. He liked getting the X-Ray. The technician showed him where his lungs, ribs, heart, stomach were located on the film. We left about three hours later with him breathing much better and a prescription for a steroid that has kept him bouncing off the walls all week.
We’re blessed to have a fantastic pediatric ER just a few minutes away. My cousin, who lives in rural Maryland, has to drive 3 to 4 hours to get to a decent hospital for her kids.
Welcome to the kingdom of tweendom
How do you keep your tween grounded during these crazy years?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
While parents everywhere are recovering from a sugar-crazed Halloween, I will be baking a cake. My eldest daughter turns 10 today, and the fact that we have officially entered the wild kingdom of tweendom scares me more than any costume could have last night.
It’s not that we’re completely unfamiliar with this world. Our little girl has been flirting with the tween life ever since she and her friends discovered the Disney Channel and Radio Disney. Along the way, we have tried to gently keep her from maturing prematurely. She asks for an iPod, we tell her it’s not up for consideration until we can consistently see the floor of her bedroom. (Honestly, we may never have to buy her an iPod at this rate.) She wants a laptop and a television for her bedroom; we tell her she can have both when she goes off to university.
And thanks to Disney Mobile advertisements on the radio and a few kids in her school, she recently began asking for a mobile phone. We were driving down the road one day when one ad came on the radio. In it, a girl tells her mother that sometimes it is so-o-o difficult to remember to check in with mom every time she goes from place to place. That’s why Mom needs to buy her a Disney Mobile phone, so they can always hook up with each other wherever they are. I’m sorry, but if my child can’t phone me when she should, I’m not rewarding her with a mobile that she is too young to appreciate or need.
When she asked again for a mobile, I gave her the old one I used when I first started working in Washington, DC 13 years ago. It doesn’t work and it’s the size of a small tool box, but it’s all hers. Of course, she doesn’t want it - she muttered something about mom trying to embarrass her. So, it looks like we will both be settling into our tween life roles for the next few years.
Have your kids hit the tween years? Do you have any tips for helping parents and kids get through this time? Does it get better or worse when they become teenagers?
Permalink | Comments (50) | Categories: Family Life
