MOMania

By MILF LOVER

October 15, 2007 8:02 AM | Link to this

I love MILFS!!!! All men do! Nothing is worse than a frumpy mom of two who just lets it go.

By jlpoll1984

October 15, 2007 8:07 AM | Link to this

I’m considering one not because of society pressure but because of a bad c-section and then hysterectomy. It’s for my health both physical and mental. I don’t care at 42 to be sexy but to attempt to have a normal body structure again…to feel good about myself.

By Joanne

October 15, 2007 8:09 AM | Link to this

I’ve accepted the fact that my body will never look the way it did in college, but I’m not going to stop exercising and trying to keep myself in shape. My husband tells me that I look good all the time and I have three kids. Do I wear a size 2, no, but I’m a beautiful size 8 now.

I DO want to say to the mothers that have given up on working out, that I don’t think it’s fair to yourself or your husband when you do that. I have a coworker that still wears maternity clothes and her youngest child is over a year old. I think that’s really ridiculous. She blames old age; she’s 46 and completely ignores the fact that she’s not eating healthy or staying active. If she chose to have children at a late age, I think she should also choose to take better care of herself to live longer to see her children become adults.

By Savvy

October 15, 2007 8:10 AM | Link to this

Flattering clothes? Where do you find them? When I go clothes shopping, all I see is the low rise pants, which look like crap on me because they cut right into my lower abdominal bulge. I work out and eat right, and am in a generally good shape, but the flab in the middle is still there because of my body consitution. I need to buy a size larger clothes and they look too big on me. God give some sense to the fashion industry and make them realize that not everybody wants to be 40 and still be able to wear low rise jeans. Some of us are ready to grow up.

Regarding plastic surgery, I think as a culture, we are too obsessed with our bodies. We always want to look sexy and look younger. I think we need to realize that feeling sexy is more a state of mind than physical. As long as I maintain myself clean and decent, and work out for health reasons, my husband should be satisfied with my body as nature intended it to be. Once the body becomes an issue, it is no longer a marriage I would be interested in. As for looking sexy to other men, I think I have enough self esteem that I do not need endorsements from other men to make me feel important.Ladies look within yourseleves, you are beautiful.

By savvy

October 15, 2007 8:13 AM | Link to this

Flattering clothes? Where do you find them? When I go clothes shopping, all I see is the low rise pants, which look like crap on me because they cut right into my lower abdominal bulge. I work out and eat right, and am in a generally good shape, but the flab in the middle is still there because of my body consitution. I need to buy a size larger clothes and they look too big on me. God give some sense to the fashion industry and make them realize that not everybody wants to be 40 and still be able to wear low rise jeans. Some of us are ready to grow up.

Regarding plastic surgery, I think as a culture, we are too obsessed with our bodies. We always want to look sexy and look younger. I think we need to realize that feeling sexy is more a state of mind than physical. As long as I maintain myself clean and decent, and work out for health reasons, my husband should be satisfied with my body as nature intended it to be. Once the body becomes an issue, it is no longer a marriage I would be interested in. As for looking sexy to other men, I think I have enough self esteem that I do not need endorsements from other men to make me feel important.Ladies look within yourseleves, you are beautiful.

By just a suggestion...

October 15, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

savvy - perhaps a tailor could help you? They are usually very inexpensive and the difference is huge!

By Anonymous

October 15, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

Gosh, this is just terrible. Don’t these women realize that once you have kids, your sexuality is supposed to just GO AWAY? Stop taking care of yourself, stop exercising, and stop worrying about pleasing even your spouse… just flutter around your kids and whine about how haarrrd you’re working in your lumpy sweatshirt and baggy jeans.

Look like crap, mothers! After all, you’re entitled, and there are no other legitimate priorities in life! You have a KID. All other aspects of your life, health, and personality must be dispensed with ASAP.

By Jennifer

October 15, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

The risks aren’t worth the payoff to me. Sure, the girls could sit a little higher but I’m not 25 any more. People do die from plastic surgery, and not all results are wonderful.

By Silky, silky

October 15, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this

Wow!!! I am 35-years-old. We have a 1-year-old son and I am desperately trying to figure this out. I had a botched c-section and was told two months ago that I can start working out. I’ve always been in shape and maintained very good health; however, not being able to work out has really disformed my figure. I haven’t gained any more weight but my body is no longer proportioned as it was “pre-baby”. I have been given the go ahead to work out now and will be in the gym 5 days a week (2 days treadmill, 5 days serious working out). My husband is very nice and haven’t made any negative comments about my body and we have great sex, for me it’s about looking and feeling healthy. I would NOT entertain the idea of another surgery (especially plastic surgery) because I know the same results can be achieved with a strict workout regimen and healthy eating schedule.

By Tracey

October 15, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Jennifer - I agree with you totally. My best friend had a tummy tuck after having three children. The doctor cut her from hip to hip and the incision became infected and she was hospitalized. Her husband who did not approve of the tummy tuck was furious. She regrets it. Now she has an ugly cut (cannot wear bikinis) and is the same size or bigger prior to having the tummy tuck. After the tummy tuck and the bad experience, she went into a deep depression. She told me that she wanted to get it because she would catch her husband looking at the young, pretty girls in their 20’s and she too wanted to look like that. She made it worse with the surgery.

By Mommy2

October 15, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

My stomach lost its elasticity with the first baby and I was only 23. I plan on having a Mommy Job in two years! I do exercise and eat pretty healthy but I’ve never gotten my stomach as flat as it once was. I can’t wait to be able to put on a dress and not have to wear Spanx!

By DG

October 15, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

I’ve never even heard the term “Mom Job.”

After my first child my body bounced back with no issues. After my second child returning to pre-baby shape just wasn’t working. I tried for 7 years and thought about cosmetic surgery often. At the time I thought going the cosmetic route was taking the easy way out.

I simply didn’t feel good about myself. To he!! with what everyone thought about my appearance!

I eventually decided you only go around once and why should I be miserable with my appearance when there are options available to help me?

I found a wonderful surgeon and decided I wanted to go for it. When approaching my husband about the idea he was resistant until I said, “I want to do it for me, not for you.” He looked me in the eye and responded, “OK, as long as its for you. If you are doing it for me, I don’t want you to do it, I love you the way you are.” I loved him even more for his response.

Earlier this year I had a tummy tuck, lift and some lipo. For me. Not because its trendy or because my hubby wanted me to do it. I did it for me. And, I LOVE the results. My only reqret is not having done it a couple of years earlier.

Cosmetic surgery is not a cure all for people who do not take care of themselves. It is not intended to take an overweight person and make them thin. But, it can do wonders for a person who tries but just can’t get rid of a few problem areas.

Exercise and nutrition do not resolve all issues for everyone.

By Jodi

October 15, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Does anyone know of a good doctor in Atlanta for the mom jobs? DG - who did you go to?

By nurse&mother

October 15, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Savvy I found that Talbot’s pants fit me very well. They also have a petite and a women’s section. I am petite and it is very nice to go into a store, pick a pair of pants, take them home and not have to have them altered. (also, no low rise!) You might also try Ann Taylor. Ann Taylor has a nice sale rack too. I usually choose from the sale rack, but sometimes I will splurge on something full price. These clothes have a classic look and tend to flatter many people. Good luck.

Back to the question. There is a lot of pressure today on women (and men) to be the perfect size. I think that people should only have elective surgery if it is for themselves. I’m wondering how safe it is to do three surgeries at once. That said, if I ever go under the knife, the surgeon better do it all at one time, because I will probably never go back! LOL. Ladies (and men) remember that surgery is not without risks. Statistically, a small percentage of people die from surgery whether elective or not. So make sure you go to a surgeon that is willing to spell out all risks and make sure you are a good candidate.

I hear that an abdominoplasty is very painful. I will admit that that one is very tempting. I have been doing push ups and sit ups every night and probably working out once a week. I know I need to work out more than that and so far, I have not seen any results. There is an area from my belly button going down about one to one and a half inches that has lost all elasticity. I am normally not a vain person. I try to accept what God has given me. But I may consider this one in the future. I have some other areas that are certainly not as firm as they were 11 years ago, but it is not so bad that I want to look like Barbie.

By DG

October 15, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Tracey, it is unfortunate about your friends experience but as is the case in every profession, not all doctor’s are created equal.

My scar wraps almost completely around and I can wear very small bikinis without the scar being visibile. My girlfriend also had a tuck several years ago after 4 kids. Her scar goes hip to hip and has healed so beautifully her scar is barely visibile. — we have the same surgeon

A good surgeon is an artist. There are many surgeon’s out there performing this type of surgery who do a horrible job. There are an equal number of surgeons who do beautiful work and genuinely do everything they can to minimize and hide scarring. Cosmetic surgery is not the time to be looking for a “deal.”

I did experience a few complications, not as a result of my surgeon but because of the way my body healed. My surgeon was so kind and considerate, seeing me every week for a couple of months during my recovery phase. He even gave me his HOME phone number to call if I needed anything. Even if I just needed him to calm my nerves.

By Lynn

October 15, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

I have 3 children and always got my tummy back pre-baby within the first year. It was little harder after the 3rd, but I did it. My problems only started after my hysterectomy last spring and now I have a small flap over the scar that I just can’t do anything with. I’m doing some extra tummy exercises now that the doc said it was OK but if that doesn’t work, I’m going for the tuck. I’m only 5’2 and can wear a size 2 but I can’t stand that little flab of extra skin.

By Jesse's Girl

October 15, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

I was just talking to Mr Jesse about this very thing last night!!! I agree that we all need to feel good about ourselves….that we need to promote healthy weight/body images, especially to our daughters!! However, after 3 kids….the 3 B’s are killin’ me. Booty, Boobs, and Belly. Now, I still look good and I consider myself sexy. Namely because Mr Jesse is still acts like he is 19 years old around me!! But honestly girls….I don’t like what I see when I am naked in the mirror! I have no aspirations to go back to my size 6 jeans. But I would like to wear a dress and not be sore by the end of the night from sucking it in!!! After 27 months of pregnancy, 146 hours of combined labor, breast feeding and struggling in the gym to fight gravity…….I’m tired!! I don’t eat meat and I exercise everyday! Yes,yes, yes to the MOM JOB!!!! Is it neccessary for survival? No. But will it help give me that little extra umph to usher me into my 40’s and beyond? Absolutely! Now if I can just get over the sticker shock…..

By DG

October 15, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Jodi, his name is Dr. Davis 404-252-0301. His office is on Johnson Ferry Rd.

In addition to his surgical abilities I appreciated his compassion and understanding. He shows you respect, listens and is open and honest about what is realistic and what is not realistic. He makes his patients feel very comfortable in what can be some very awkward situations. When you aren’t happy with your body the last thing you want to do is show it to anyone in all its glory! He is very good at making you feel comfortable. And, he has a wonderful sense of humor as well.

Another thing I liked is that he wanted to include my husband as well. To make sure my husband had a clear understanding of what would be happening as well as how important his role would be in my recovery.

By Lola

October 15, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

I’m getting a breast reduction next year and it’s covered by insurance because of the neck and back pain they’ve caused me over the years. The bonus is that they’ll now be small and perky, rather than huge and droopy, and it will only cost me $100 out of pocket. Not too shabby. I’ll deal with getting my tummy back on track on my own with my exercise and diet, but there’s nothing I could do to make the cruel effects of gravity reverse, other than surgery. So I’m going from a 38DD to hopefully somewhere between a B and C. After getting as big as a 42JJ when I was pregnant, I’m ready for these mostrosities to go!

By Jonny

October 15, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

In my personal experience, the best thing for a woman to do is to have a child vaginally, not via c-section. C-sectioned don’t get botched or un-botched; All of them are a botch to a certain degree in that they tear a woman’s body up.

By Jodi

October 15, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Thanks DG!

By DB

October 15, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Sorry, no plastic surgery for me! I don’t need a size 2 flat tummy to feel good about myself. I don’t need the admiration of other men to validate myself and my sexuality — I have a husband who does that every day, and frankly, the idea of being the object of some testosterone-poisoned sex-obsessed male’s MILFS obsession is just creepy.

My life is too full of people that are important to me, work that feeds the soul and causes that make a difference to my community for me to spend a great deal of time obsessing about a little extra skin here and there, or what people might think of my body. I frankly don’t give a good g-damn what they think. I eat reasonably well (mostly), exercise, and do what I can that’s under my control to stay healthy. Beyond that, if the jeans are a 12 instead of a 2, tough s**t.

It takes a lot of time, energy and money to try to keep time from catching up with you. Each person has to make the decision for themselves as to whether that is time well-spent, and the best use of the time and resources we’ve been blessed with.

By lovelyliz

October 15, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

When my sister’s best friend had her second daughter she absolutely had to have a Ford Expedition. For all the needed space. Last time I checked, that cost her more than a tummy tuck would have.

By Fulton County Mom

October 15, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

Coldwater Creek and Talbots both have clothes for those of us who have had a ‘weight shift’. Although for the last 2 months I have held to a rigid workout and seen the inches dropping off.

However, I would do a tummy tuck in heartbeat if I had the money….Not because I am to lazy to work out—I actually enjoy the time I spend in the gym and look forward to it. I would do it because I don’t think some of the ‘stretched’ skin is ever going to flatten.

Any other Mom had that situation?

By Mom to 2

October 15, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

I am in pretty good shape - I do long distance running and triathlon. And hanging over the elastic of my workout shorts is a pouch of skin that after over 4 years of regular exercise has not gone back down.

I would love to do something about that extra skin. It really bothers ME, even though my husband doesn’t seem to mind.

For those who have taken the surgical step, just how much did it hurt? How long was the recovery? And how much did it cost?

By Mom of twins

October 15, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

To the Fulton Ctny Mom: I am a mother of twins and was in the best shape when I got pregnant, I lost all of my pregnancy weight 4 months after having them but am left with a saggy belly. It’s all skin that has to be surgically removed and I hate it! I am shopping around for surgeons now and hope to have it removed in the future.

By DG

October 15, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

Mom to 2, my surgeon’s fee for the abdominoplasty was $5350 plus the cost of the surgery center and anesthesia.

Abdominoplasty is more painful than other procedures. My surgeon offers a pain pump to tummy tuck patients. It was an additional $350. He inserts a couple small tubes and it applies a regular drip of pain meds directly to the surgical site. I think he removed it after 3 or 4 days. I was out of work for a week. I thought I’d be able to return to work after 3 days as I tend to push pain aside and trudge through. Not so with this procedure. I think it was 2 weeks before he authorized me to walk up the stairs. BUT, I had multiple procedures done at the same time so, my recovery was longer. It hurts. Alot. But the pain was worth the results.

I took Percocet and Tylenol with Codeine for almost 2 weeks I believe.

And…I don’t like to take meds but I was popping the Perc’s every 4 hours for the first week. Without fail. There was no need to look at a clock. The pain told you when they were wearing off!

By Mom of 2

October 15, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

I never thought I would say this (before children I wouldn’t have agreed to any kind of plastic surgery) but I have no problem what so ever with a mommy job. As a matter of fact 3 of us from our group of 12 are considering one within the next 12 months. I do have a problem with women who get them for the wrong reasons…to fit in, make their spouse happy, or to look good for others. I’m not looking to be a skinny size 2 with a flat stomach, I have always had curves and want to keep them. But, after 2 c-sections and 1 9lb baby, I will never be ale to get rid of this cupcake I’ve developed in my mid-section without some additional help(and to Jonny…not all of us have a choice when delivering a baby and doubt that anyone would decide on a c-section for the pure pleasure of the experience). So, I say to all the moms and non-moms out there, if you have the resources go for it. Do it for yourselves and enjoy!

By deidreNC

October 15, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

OK—i am all for women (and men)feeling good about themselves…but i think its sad that it takes risky surgery not to mention the pain and expense for people to feel good about their bodies. i guess what i mean is i think its awful that our society has made women feel that they need to go thru all that to look like they are still teens. i miss looking like i did when i was 19…haha even 35 or 40 lol…but i cant imagine PAYING someone a huge bunch of money to put me to sleep-and cut on me so i can look that way again…no way!!!im a wuss :)

By FCM

October 15, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

Deidre NC I think most of us (at least on this board)are more concerned about the ‘skin flap’. I know I hate it…and there is no way I can cover it up if I ever get naked with a man again. I can ‘disguise’ it at Theresa suggests but that only works to a point.

For me, I hate the skin flap thing. If I had the money and time (which I have neither) I would get surgery….but not to look like I did at 22.

“Ms. Scarlett you done had a baby, you ain’t never going to be no 19 inches again”

By DB

October 15, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

FCM, ROFL, that line from GWTW was the first thing that crossed my mind when I was reading Theresa’s blog! Scarlett was upset because she was 20 inches, and none of her dresses would fit unless she was laced up to 18.5. Omigod, and we thought WE had problems!

By Jesse's Girl

October 15, 2007 5:12 PM | Link to this

19?! Hell….I’d settle for..well, never you mind what I’d settle for:)

By lk

October 16, 2007 7:57 AM | Link to this

I’m 52 with 2 kids in college. I’m a size 6 and in fairly good shape. I’ve never had any work done. Do I look like I did when I was 25? No way. Do I want to look like I did when I was 25? Sometimes. But I wouldn’t trade my life experiences and comfort with myself for any physical appearance. I eat right, exercise some (could do better there) and dress fashionably and appropriately. I agree with the poster that you can find stylish clothes to fit a more mature body and lifestyle. I don’t need to wear low rise jeans. They didn’t look that good when I wore them in high school! You know what they say, if you wore the style the first time around, you’re too old to wear it when it comes back the second time!

Talbots is good, JJill is another store with clothes that fit well. Eddie Bauer offers slacks in several fits with different waist heights. Brooks Brothers has a good women’s section with classic cut clothing, also. One thing to realize is that we aren’t 25 (or 30) and we do need to dress differently, but we can still look good.

I worry about the message we’re sending to our daughters when we rush to have plastic surgery. We need to be teaching them about the importance of their minds, personalities and who they are as people - not that they have to look like models all their lives.

By Poppy

October 19, 2007 6:24 PM | Link to this

I am incensed with jealous, out of shape older women suggesting that just because you’re 35 or older and happen to like low rise jeans or the latest styles that you’re somehow not a grown-up. And for the record, childbirth often does fck up a woman’s figure and I can only imagine that’s a turn off to your husband. And be real, if you’re on the dating scene or even if you are attached, you are in fact competing with younger women. Men run off with the hot girl or have an affair with her all the time. And those girls are far from perfect or size 2s. Most women, whatever age don’t have a perfect body. But that’s no excuse for saying oh, I’m old, I’ve had a kid, I give up. Talbots, J.Jill, Chicos *yawn Try Chadwicks and LaRedoute for clothes that fit and have some kind of style.