MOMania

By nurse&mother

September 6, 2007 7:59 AM | Link to this

We try to stick with Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, Travel Channel, History Channel etc. Right now, I can control what my daughter (10) watches. Thankfully, she does not know all the latest teen idols, music groups etc. I’m sure this will change in a few years, but I will highly discourage this. My husband and I definitely talk about what and how we expect our daughter to dress and act.

By fk

September 6, 2007 8:09 AM | Link to this

MTV may (it all depends on your point of view), in fact, promote less than favorable behavior, but it’s the parents who supply the money and credit cards for the kids to buy what they’re promoting, to emulate such ill behavior. Nowhere is it written that kids must follow their lead. Parents need to lead by example. So many parents need to develop backbones and actually say no. It’s not always easy.

My son knows that we never want him to leave our home looking like a thug, and I want him to repsect his girlfriend and not expect her to look or act like a slut. He is so busy that he doesn’t have time to watch such crap on TV. If we don’t approve of something, he has to buy it with his own money (he’s almost 17). That is a big deterrent. Most times, it’s not that important for him to dig into his own pocket.

Usually, when we see a show like that, we ask that he remember that it is a show, and most behavior is done for show. If parents don’t want their kids to see alcohol flowing freely, etc., they should not allow their children to watch the program. It’s the parents’ responsibility to raise their children, not the entertainment industry’s.

By nurse&mother

September 6, 2007 8:13 AM | Link to this

Back to your original questions- No, our family will not watch MTV music awards. I am torn about whether or not I feel that alcohol should be served. Personally, I don’t agree just because there are primarily teens that are not old enough to drink yet (but have a fake ID) or are just barely old enough. I feel that those young adults are probably not as mature as others and may not act as responsible as others (of course I cannot say this of all young adults).

On the other hand, I understand that if you are of legal age, you are certainly entitled to do as you please as long as it is within the limits of the law. However, I don’t think that it is very responsible on the part of MTV. I’m sure that many of the attendees will already have had their fair share of adult beverages before the show even starts.

Once again, I am merely speaking in general terms. I certainly remember being young once. Although brief, I had a few moments that I did not use the best judgement.

By Jennifer

September 6, 2007 8:25 AM | Link to this

I grew up with MTV and turned out fine. I understood that it was all a show, and it was pretty cheesy for the most part. I liked the music, like being exposed to artists not in regular play in our area. Kids aren’t dumb, they do understand what is appropriate and what isn’t. I don’t believe in sheltering kids too much.

By Camille

September 6, 2007 8:33 AM | Link to this

There are just too many things in this blog to pick apart, but I am totally in agreement with fk. First off, yes, MTV should be allowed to let the liquor flow freely. What MTV does at their own event has absolutely nothing to do with my kids. Not mention that I am quite sure that not every attendee will be of legal age to drink, but I digress. No, I would not watch it as I am just so over awards shows in general. But, I really do have to question how people (specifically the kids) watching this on tv would actually know that there is free-flowing liquor at this event. If I were to watch this with my kids (which they will not be watching), what would I be talking to them about??? The things that I already talk to them about on a regular basis???? I think that’s the problem with many parents. They wait for some such event to actually talk to children about the consequences of bad behavior, when in most cases it is already too late. Music television is not teaching my kids to dress inappropriately. I teach my kids the proper way to dress. And, since I am raising two boys, no one is teaching my sons to be thugs and disrespectful to women. It is my and my husband’s job to teach them to act appropriately, to everyone.

By jct

September 6, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

I have watched the VMA’s most years. Since MTV is a blocked channel in our house, I normally watch in the bedroom to see if this is something that I want to my teenager to see. Most times I unblock awards after my preview so that he can watch but we watch together.

We often discuss behaviors of performers. I don’t know how alcohol will change the mix because each year there are a few performers who are either drunk or high.

Most performers at the VMA’s know their bread and butter comes from the teen and tween fan base, I don’t think most will do anything to further alienate the parents of their fan base.

By Jesse's Girl

September 6, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

I am proud to say that our children have NEVER seen a music video…of any genre. So no, they will not be watching. I agree with you that MTV has glamorized sex with the videos they show and the girls in them. But they most certainly do not have the market cornered on that. Across the board, TV has (and most celebrities) lost the good bones it used to have. Meaning, you can no longer sit as a family and have TV time. I long for an “I Love Lucy” or “Andy Griffith”. We rarely watch TV. But when we do it is always The Travel Channel, Discovery, Animal Planet, or History. There will parents who allow their children to view this smut. That is their call. However, I want my kids to emulate no one. I want them to seek their path…not the path the media says is cool.

By Meg

September 6, 2007 8:44 AM | Link to this

MTV doesn’t affect my kids’ behavior because we don’t watch broadcast or network TV. We don’t plop our kids in front of the TV and let it pump all sorts of trash into their heads in exchange for keeping them out of our hair. That’s lazy parenting. Kids should have OUR values, not hollywood’s. That’s the main part of our job as parents.

By Fulton County Mom

September 6, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

Ah one of the benefits of not having cable! Not that our house is immune to it all….Fox had the Teen Choice Awards a few weeks ago, I let my eldest stay up to see Zack Efron win Hottie of the Year….she is crazy about him.

What age is to young to let them put pictures of movie stars etc on their wall?

By JJ

September 6, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

Yes, we will probably watch the show. My daughter has such a level head on her shoulders, that she is not at all influenced by MTV. She very rarely watches tv anyway, so I’m not too concerned.

By past50mom

September 6, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

MTV may have some programming suitable for tweens or teens, but the crude, rude, and inappropriate commercials would make it totally off limits if I still had young children in the house.

By kat

September 6, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

growing up with mtv was always risky but a little less so in the past. anyone who “grew up on mtv” since the 90’s up to the present is probably warped and doesn’t know it. no way you can feed that crap into your brain on a regular and not be affected.

By Ken

September 6, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

MTV is trash and I’ll never let my kids watch it. I’m only 23 and still a college student, but I can’t watch MTV for more than a few minutes without being disgusted. They promote the kind of self-destructive life style that we need to be discouraging. Forget the music videos, the worst part is their reality shows. Everyone is always drunk, and the women are sleeping with every other guy they meet. They glamorize good looks at the expense of everything else, and in general promote shallow and selfish behavior.

The music and music videos are another discussion all together. I believe that the music you listen to have a subtle brainwashing effect.. you’re hearing the same words and same attitude over and over again. If you listen to music all day, and every song to listen to talks about hoes and money, what are you going to eventually want for yourself?

By Barbara

September 6, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Blaming a tv station for the youth of today??? That’s crossing the line! You don’t think the “celebraties” and stars have a role to play in that?? Or movies perhaps???

Goes back to the old argument - parents needs to quit acting like friends and start acting like parents.

By The Nerd

September 6, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

This message is for all you kids who even think of watching the MTV Music Awards: With all due respect, the awards show in question is in bad tasts due to the acohol, and if your parents won’t let you watch it, or anything else on MTV, two words: obey them. No disrespect, but why would you watch the show in question Sunday night, ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, NO LESS?!

By The Nerd

September 6, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Oh, and BTW, if you kids want to listen to music, listen to Radio Disney.

By What!!??

September 6, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

What’s that????!!!???

Um, no….get a life

By Cammi317

September 6, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

I have discovered that it is almost impossible to control everything that my almost 10 y/o daughter hears and/or sees. No, I do not allow her to watch videos on MTV, BET or VH1 for tha matter. She is allowed to watch whatever videos are shown on Disney and Nickelodeon at home….yes, they show popular tween videos on those stations. As for the rest, she learns songs at school from other students, she sometimes watches videos on occassion at her bestfriends home and also at her dad’s home she watches them when her teenaged half-sister AND her dad are watching them. So although it is not allowed in my home, she does manage to watch some videos. I cannot control what other people allow in their homes, so the best thing that I can do is to discuss with my daughter why I do not like these videos and she understands. All I have to say to her once is I do not like this song and this is the reason why and she will no longer sing it. As a matter of fact if we are flipping radio stations in the car she will say “hurry up and change Mommy, that is that song about…”. She has no desire to walk down the street half-naked exposing herself and a good sense of right and wrong. I think she’ll survive.

By Peachy

September 6, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

I’m right here with you, Ken. I get frustrated that there are so many poor role models in our age group that make us look hedonistic and disrespectful. Whatever happened to showing people respect, and showing that you have respect for yourself? I am glad that there are a few good folks out there, but I find it sad (and not surprising) that their celebrity is somewhat dimished by the fact that they won’t dress scantily and party heartily.

All that being said, celebs are people too and are entitled to make mistakes. But since they’re more visible to kids, they’re held to a higher standard….and that means they should probably hold themselves to a higher standard.

By nurse&mother

September 6, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

I truly believe that children are influenced by several factors, not just one. Certainly parents have a role in shaping their kids, but if any parent thinks that media, peers etc, is not somehow influencing their child, (even a little bit) he/she has his head in the sand.

IMHO, if parents teach their kids that it is not acceptable to be promiscuous(for example), but allow their child to watch trashy shows showing girls and guys having sex with anything that has two legs, that is sending a mixed signal. You as a parent can teach your child lots of things including how to dress, but if your child sees that many girls/guys in the media are dressing a certain way and it is glamorized, they are receiving the message that if you want to be cool you should dress like this.

I know that it is not so cut and dried and certainly some children are more impressionable than others. Most of the time, our teens/tweens will not idolize us like they did when they were two years old. Their peers as well as the media becomes important.

I grew up with very strong values that my parents instilled in me. I had a good head on my shoulders, but I certainly was somewhat influenced by some of those around me. Growing up is very difficult on teens who are trying to make sense of it all.

By RJ

September 6, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

I grew up watching MTV, but it was a different time. Videos weren’t nearly as vulgar and women were clothed. With that said, I know that my teenaged daughter has access to videos without seeing them on tv. I do monitor what both my kids watch, but I don’t care for BET at all. So many of those videos convey the wrong message. And as we all know, there’s no way to be continually exposed to something and not have it affect you.

By nurse&mother

September 6, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

Please excuse my grammar and run-on sentences in my previous post.

By Stacey

September 6, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

My son (6) doesn’t watch MTV though I can’t claim he has never seen a music video. Right now he’s into Pokemon and Jimmy Neutron, not music. I listen to oldies and my husband doesn’t listen to music at all so we don’t watch MTV either (though we both like “I Love the 70’s & 80’s on VH-1). As far as alcohol is concerned, my husband and I are both teetotalers but we have friends who drink. My son doesn’t react one way or another when he sees them drinking a beer at their homes.

One day when my son was 4, he came home from preschool and announced that his teacher said that adults are supposed to drink beer. Come to find out, they were making a list of beverages and one of the kids said “beer”. The teacher told them that although beer is a beverage, she wouldn’t put it on the list because it is only for adults. My son thought that something must be wrong with us (his parents) since we don’t drink beer. LOL

By JJ

September 6, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

We can thank the hip hop genre and the “Thug” culture for this. To be a Thug is glamorous. To wear your pants around your thighs is fashionable (thanks to Thugs). I honestly do no know why anyone would like to look like a poor, welfare class, thug. I just don’t get it.

AND I don’t know why any self-respecting girl would want to be known as a ho (Again thug culture).

By DB

September 6, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

My kids are 18 and 16 — and they have almost NEVER watched MTV. I didn’t allow it when they were younger, and when they got older, they weren’t that interested. As my daughter said, rolling her eyes, “they spend most of their time verbally masturbating — it’s boring.” Soft porn, indeed.

I watched it a bit when it first aired (“Thriller” and “Billie Jean”, anyone? :-) ) but generally found the videos to distract from my enjoyment of the songs. As time went by and the videos became more daring and provocative, I became less and less interested.

I watched it again, in passing, when my kids were 4’ish, and decided right then and there: No MTV for MY kids. It’s practically child abuse. They were somewhat interested at ages 10/11/12 (starting middle school), but I simply said, “Nope — not appropriate for MY kids.” and that was that.

I’m not saying that they never watched it — for example, at friend’s house, they probably did sometimes. But interestingly, after seeing it at friend’s house, they weren’t anxious to see it at our house, too.

By nurse&mother

September 6, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

FCM if you have not read my post from yesterday’s topic “Are good sleepers born or made”, please look back at my 11:30am post from today.

By DB

September 6, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Peachy, your comment on holding celebrities holding themselves to a higher standard:

We can’t hold them to a higher standand because first of all, THEY have to have standards. So many of them don’t — they hit the streets hard too young, and don’t have a value system other than money. Plus, they ones that do make it big have to be fortunate enough to surround themselves with people who are committed to keeping them “real”, instead of milking them for what they can (Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan, anyone?)

I always remember George Reeves, the actor who played Superman on TV back in the 50’s. He was always very sensitive of his effect on kids, and would never smoke in front of kids or show up with a girlfriend while making appearances in front of kids. Of course, he played a hero and felt the need to maintain that heroic aspect. So many of today’s celebrities aren’t exactly portraying heros, though — what do they need to maintain, the image of a slut or a boozer? Easy enough …

By ron

September 6, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

By I guess no one watches TV

September 6, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

I love how whenever there is a blog about TV, every parent comes on and brags about how little television their child watches. Yet every survey and study shows the average kid is watching hours of the stuff every day. I guess those parents don’t comment.

Oh, and similar surveys point out that parents are great influences on their children, HOWEVER, outside factors including their peers, teachers and celebrities, also have influence over how tweens and teens develop. No one with a straight face can say that musicians haven’t had a massive influence on kids. Just walk through the mall and see all the little girls dressed up like little Fergies.

By JJ

September 6, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

OK Ron I have to respond.

Most of the parents on this particular blog do not watch alot of tv. I know this as a regular blogger. We, however, are a minority. I myself, could veg out in front of a tv for hours, watching mindless crap. And I do that occassionally. However, I have a very hard time sitting for long periods of time. I’m a bit antsy, so sitting still is hard on me. Plus, there are numerous chores to be done around the house at any given time, not to mention taking care of all our animals, two dogs, two cats & one fish who all require attention.

Second, there are only two of us in my house, and we really don’t watch alot of tv. My child is 16, carrys a full load of college prep courses in high school, volunteers around the community, and has a part time job. There isn’t really much time for her to watch tv. When she does watch it, 9 out of 10 times it’s Nick at Nite, after 9:00. Sometimes it is “MTV Cribs”. That show, I will admit, influences her to work hard, get a good education, and do something with her life so she can afford a nice “crib” down the road.

My child is NOT influenced by the “Top 40” music at all. She does like Justin Timberlake, but when we are together, in the car or at home, we usually listen to Dave FM or my CD’s. She doesn’t really care for today’s music, and prefers music from my generation, Stones, Beatles, etc.

Third, my daughter does not dress like “Fergie”. She has more respect for herself and her body than to go around showing half of her belly, butt crack, pumped up boobs, etc. Nor is she allowed to be dropped off and roam the mall. Once every third blue moon she does go with her friends. Other than that, she is a bit too busy.

You are generalizing all tweens/teens into one category. The majority of these kids are influenced by the music and tv, because their mom’s are too busy competing with the neighbors to really see what is going on right under their noses.

I, along with my family, am the biggest influence on my daughter. And it shows.

There are a few of us out here who parent their kids, are role models to their kids, and are THERE for their kids. I have been a single parent for 16 years, and I put my dating life on hold, in order to raise my child and hold her to higher standards than the norm. She is a direct reflection of my parenting and someone I am very proud of!!!

By Jesse's Girl

September 6, 2007 5:48 PM | Link to this

Kudos to you JJ…I admire you.

By dad of 3

September 6, 2007 7:07 PM | Link to this

Your worried about what a detached group of celebrity adults do on a cable show that you could control the access to, but you would consider “tranquilizing” your child to effect sleeping habits that fit better into your lifestyle????

another thought; we all love Dale Jr. in the south, how many of our kids walk around, with our blessing, with a “Bud” number 8 hat or shirt? I know, I know, noone here does that, thats way too pedestrian for this crowd. But most of us do, so why would I care what Cameron freakin Diaz does between commercial breaks on a telecast that none in my house would waste the time to watch?

By DB

September 7, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

dad of 3, I never understood the hoopla over a guy who basically drove a car very fast in circles. I know that NASCAR is a big part of the culture — heck, I was playing in the infield with Kyle Petty when I was 7/8 year old while my dad ran pit for drivers when Richmond was barely more than dirt track at the fairgrounds. But I still never really “got” it, much to my father’s shame and dismay :-)

And, given that, I also don’t understand the hoopla over celebrities in a world where true talent is rare, and whose major contribution to life is entertainment in that they can carry a tune or recite words written by someone else. So, no MTV OR Bud #8 t-shirts for us!

By Renee

September 7, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Theresa, MTV didn’t teach your kids anything that you didn’t allow them to learn. Stop blaming others and try being a parent for once. You don’t like MTV? Don’t let your kids watch it. What’s the problem?