Home > Health > MOMania > Archives > 2007 > August > 26 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USTales of the toilet: Dirty diapers pale next to these
How do you handle your your child’s poop crisis?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There are many common experiences that bind parents together - the joy of holding your child for the first time, the thrill of seeing them crawl or walk, and the nastiness of getting pooped on.
When you become a mom, you know you’re going to have to change diapers, but what you don’t realize is how much time you will spend thinking about and dealing with poop.
Parents of small children talk about their kids’ bowel movements all the time - at the playground, the pool, even at work. I used to have a boss that would give me daily reports about his daughter’s potty training - and believe me, I hadn’t asked.
My husband doesn’t want me to write about this topic. He thinks it’s gross. And, while it is nasty, I think dealing with poop is such an everyday mom experience that it is appropriate to discuss, even for a newspaper.
Every mother gets “christened” by their child at some point. I think it’s one of those evening out experiences - no matter how rich you are, no matter how many nannies you employ, at some point you will be mopping poop off yourself or your furniture.
Two weeks ago, while my husband was meeting fabulous people at an ESPN cocktail party in Las Vegas, I was cleaning up poop.
My 4-year-old son had three random bouts of diarrhea - two in the family room and one in the backyard. He had apparently eaten too many real fruit popsicles. On the messiest of the three occasions, he called me into the family room. I watched him climb off the couch with his underwear clearly hanging low in back. He waddled toward me with something dripping behind him.
I had to think fast — my son didn’t know where to go and my daughter and the dog were both heading toward the poop-filled hallway. I was like super spy Jason Bourne - the training was innate. It just took over.
First, I picked up my son and sat him on the toilet with his underwear still on. I needed him immobilized. Then I yelled at my daughter to step over the poop and go into the basement. I hooked up the dog so he wouldn’t try to lick up the mess and then started disinfecting the hardwood floor - three times.
Without going into details, I decided the best thing to do was cut off my sons underwear along the sides and let them drop into the toilet. He cried that I cut his Power Rangers underwear.
Six years ago I wouldn’t have known how do deal with that large of a poop crisis. Like a long-distance runner, you have to build up your endurance —from learning to handle a baby’s rocket-propelled runny bowel movements to many months later when you graduate to coaxing your children into pooping on the toilet and not in their pants.
Most parents accept cleaning up their own child’s poop but it is especially nasty when you’re “blessed” by someone else’s child. Our new baby’s godmother stopped by the other day. The baby’s diaper gapped and leaked all over her pants. I felt terrible. She quickly left and later at the baptism sort of held the baby out at some distance from her.
While I have adapted to cleaning up human poop, doggy poop just grosses me out. After I had mopped up my son’s poop for the second time, the dog decided to get into the act. I found three piles near the fireplace. I couldn’t catch a break that week.
I have a favorite saying that Homer Simpson once used when he was angry at his dog Santa’s Little Helper. Homer called a family meeting and the kids wanted to know why. He answered because “We’ve never had a member of the family we could give away before.” Our little dog needs to remember that.
When did you first get pooped on? Tell us how you’ve handled your child’s poop crisis.
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Comments
By fk
August 27, 2007 7:24 AM | Link to this
We still laugh at my husband’s first messy diaper experience…16-1/2 years ago. The baby was only a few weeks old and my husband was changing him on our bed. I kept warning Daddy-O that he needed to cover the baby with a dry diaper in case he decided to go #1, to be prepared, have everything within arm’s reach b/c the baby would be moving all over soon. Needless to say, my husband, who had never really been around babies, knew it all. He thought worked quickly…not.
The little guy sprinkled on the comforter and my husband freaked out. As he turned for the diaper, the baby let loose some gas, and his poop flew across the room, and you guessed it, landed on my husband’s new shoes, in the laces and all, two pair…dock siders and sneakers, neatly lined up along the foot of the dresser. I thought he was going to puke, and all I could do was laugh. Our son was a breast milk baby and you know what that poop is like…gross!
The dog is another story. He is ten years old, a lovable yellow lab. Have you ever seen the carpet commercial where the lab drags its butt across the carpet? Welcome to my world. All of my family members, hundreds of miles away, had to call me to tell me about that commercial. Heck, I did not need to see the commercial, I live it. Up until two years ago, the dog had pooped only once, and it was on our old carpet, but he was just a puppy. We waited five years to replace the carpet. And, wouldn’t you know it, within a year, he had pooped, wet and barfed on the carpet, then started dragging his behind across it.
I was beside myself. At one point, he was obviously sick, so we barricaded him in the kitchen. However, that week he became an escape artist and I found diarrhea, etc. in rooms he wasn’t even allowed to go. Naturally, husband and son were never around for these episodes. I was mad, dog poop is repulsive and emotions got the best of me. All the while, I cried and gagged as I cleaned up. For sure, I thought the next stop for me was the professional “couch”.
By DB
August 27, 2007 8:07 AM | Link to this
I think I’ll pass on this topic … some things don’t belong in my long-term memory!
By KA
August 27, 2007 8:22 AM | Link to this
I’ve forgotten the early poopy baby accidents, but do recall some horrific stomach virus projectile vomit episodes; in the bed, on the wall and floors, in the car, and at the grocery store…..enough said. Kids are grown and gone and now I am dealing with my geriatric cats and dogs who forget their house training. Clorox clean up and a mop are close at hand.
By Fulton County Mom
August 27, 2007 8:41 AM | Link to this
I am with your husband on this…you shouldn’t have written on it. I personally don’t know anyone who discusses this subject in public unless it is many years later when they can laugh about it.
By observer
August 27, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this
I agree with DB, Fulton County Mom, and your husband. Some things are best left not said.
By what the heck
August 27, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this
Theresa, sometimes you should listen to your husband. He was right on this one. I can’t believe this is what you chose to write about. NASTY!
By Jeff
August 27, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this
I’ll ask one question about this:
Is this something that a dad that works 100 miles from home can possibly avoid when mom works 2 miles from home and grandma is a mile away from home (and doesn’t work, AND likes to be highly involved in our lives anyway…)???
Because in my mind, dog poop is bad enough… human poop is worse! (Can ya tell this is the part of parenting I am LEAST looking forward to?)
By VLS
August 27, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this
Theresa, I am embarrassed for you. This is the WORST blog subject by far that you have come up with. If you are hurting for ideas…please just take a break…
By AmazedNOT
August 27, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
Geesh! How gross! FultonCountyMom is so right!
By oh my
August 27, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this
What a unlikely subject. I’ve never seen a more gross blog subject. Maybe a few days off is what you need.
By nurse
August 27, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this
Gee Whiz people. Poop is a natural part of life. If you don’t like the subject or want to participate, why did you click the link?
By Joyce
August 27, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this
My worst experiences with this subject were 2 accidents in the bathtub. The poop was bad, but the panicked 2 yo was worse! At least disinfecting wasn’t too bad; everything was contained in the tub, so I just filled it w/hot soapy water, added some bleach and let it sit for a little bit.
I will say that between potty training and his intestinal parasites when he first came to us, I really did feel like poop was the only thing on my mind for about a year!
By Jo
August 27, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this
Blaughhhhhh!!!!! Serves me right for clicking this link at lunchtime. Gag, retch (yes, I know, I tend to be quite girly..)
By LindaLou
August 27, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this
Accidents will happen. Your poop stories are so funny! Thanks for the laughs. I know my son would have a fit if I had to cut his Power Ranger underwear off of him.
By what?
August 27, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this
Nurse, last time I checked, we had the right to our opinions. It is not for you to say that we cannot voice them, so back off, woman.
By howlovely
August 27, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this
Nurse, you are not the blog patrol. Don’t try to tell people what they can and can say, or what they “need” to do. MYOB, Butch
By MommyToBe
August 27, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this
Theresa, this is funny. As a 16 week pregnant Mommy to Be and mother of 3 fur babies, I find this absolutely hilarious. I know what I’m getting into now…. :) However I am pretty broken in now with the dogs. They hate to go out in the rain, so if it is raining, I’ll inevitably find hidden poop. Guess I can’t blame them. The rest of the time, they are perfectly house trained, so we don’t give them much grief for it.
By Toddler Mom
August 27, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this
As a mother of a one year old, I too am amazed at how much of my past year has been spent discussing the nature of my son’s body habits. Another new mother and I were discussing how we couldn’t remember the last time we were able to walk out the door without discovering some sort of mysterious stain on our clothing. From mopping up poopy messes (and playing the “oh yeah, we had carrots for dinner!” game), to darting around unexpected streams of pee, to trying to get the rag on the shoulder before the spit-up lands, to digging for a hard-to-reach booger - it is all part and parcel of parenthood. And one day we’ll look back on it and think “those were the good ol’ days!”
By gwinngirl
August 27, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this
Okay I will the one to say it…unless someone else already has and i missed it…but POOP HAPPENS> and sometimes you have to laugh about it. My mom cut the article out for me ( a new mom to an 11 week old) and my husband and I got a kick out of it. I agree with the nurse…. you knew what you were stepping into when you clicked on the link….
By DadMania
August 27, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this
I wouldn’t really say I’ve been pooped on but my daughter has had some issues getting to the toilet in time. I have some good photos of her returning from the pool and going potty on the tile. I think those will be great when she tries to start dating. I think that will keep the boys away just fine.
Actually, I’d say I feel bad for her when she has an accident. The most recent incident was when she had poop in her underwear before she could get on the toilet. As she called out for me to help her, her voice and scared look make my heart sink when she just didn’t get their in time.
Accidents happen and I just want to be sure she knows that I am not mad and will take care of her when she needs me.
By Fulton County Mom
August 27, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this
Actually, for the record, the blog title was not yet on the lead page. I have MoMania in my blog favs and just go directly to it daily without seeing the title….so NO I really wouldn’t have known.
It would not stop me from saying I agree with Michael Giarrrusso…I have agreed with him on several things…..It would be fun to see he and Theresa do a he said/she said parenting column sometimes.
By STORM WARNING
August 27, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this
oh…. smells like poop in here….
By Brad
August 27, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this
Yup. Poop happens, it’s part of life, and I think Theresa was venting in her own way as well as letting other parents know that they’re not alone in these stinky situations. It is nice to know when “it” hits the fan you’re not the only one - nearly all parents (of children and/or pets) will have to deal with it at some point.
By Jonny
August 27, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this
Grossness is like major injury: When it happens, you go numb. I think that’s why when grossness happens, you just deal with it. Puking during active grossness is not an option. A good stiff drink, however, is an option.
By clever?????
August 27, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this
This is no worse than the normal crap that comes from this..blog?. Also consider it’s in the AJC and it will make perfect sense. Trendy glasses and a hyphenated last name does not a writer make. Sorry, but if you write about crap, literally, you’ve got to expect to take some, literally. But if the AJC measures the success of its blogs not based on the relevancy of the topics or the quality of the writing, but instead on the number of responses, then maybe, she gets the last laugh. Afterall, shes at home cleaning up crap, writing about it, then getting paid for it. Credibility wont put gas in the SUV!
By Laura
August 27, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this
Theresa:
Your husband is a smart man. You should listen to him.
By Ronda
August 27, 2007 5:22 PM | Link to this
I not so fondly remember nursing my husband through a horrible case of rotavirus that he got from our daughter. It was coming out of both ends for hours. I finally insisted he go to the E.R. While he was waiting on tests, I took my daughter to Chick-fil-A to get some dinner. Right when I was sitting down to dig into my food, she projectile vomited all over each of us. I quickly wrapped up what was left of the food, apologized profusely and jetted out of there. I was a long vomit smelling drive home. I hope to never have that experience again.
By monteal
August 27, 2007 6:10 PM | Link to this
I dont care much for gross stories but I laughed and laughed Im not going to take the time to share my numerous stories on the subject ( i have 4 children )but I can say finding a floater in the bath tub under the bubbles ….and an accident on the move from new Mexico to Georgia in a moving truck that had to be cleaned up in a mall bathroom …..and a day of a stomach virus all my kids got on the same day ( I cleaned the same hallway up at least six times ) and then of course I got it from spending my day cleaning it up.these qualify me to be able to laugh like I can feel where you are comming from …thanks for the giggle …..and remember they do grow up…then you can laugh to…
By mjaa
August 27, 2007 7:24 PM | Link to this
I have an 11 month old. This was FUNNY! No worries…you speak the truth about parenting a baby. IT is ALL over the place….
By Katie
August 28, 2007 6:30 AM | Link to this
I think you’re scraping the barrel for topics to discuss. If you can’t come up with an intelligent one then don’t write one at all. Or is it that you don’t have a life and all you really do have to talk about is poop??? How full your life must be.
By nurse&mother
August 28, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this
I hate that I missed this one yesterday (had to work 12 hours). I too am not sure why everyone got so bent out of shape. Poop happens! I guess being a nurse and seeing all body parts and bodily functions, I am immune to getting quesy (sp?).
I can tell lots of poopy tales including how I removed an impaction in my then 16 month old. I was worried his bowel would rupture. But thankfully, I was able to remove it. I am still not sure how such hard thick stool was able to pass out of his little bottom.
And then there was the time that my son ( I think he was 13 months) had blood in his stool after eating glass fragments from a baby food jar that he broke (we didn’t realize that he got into the pantry and dropped a jar onto the tile). We found him in the kitchen a few minutes later. We had to take him to get an xray.
My daughter did not have as interesting poopy stories as my son.
I wanted to make one last comment. Who in their right mind would find baby poop more disgusting than dog poop???? Yuck!! At least I know what has gone in my children’s bellies. With a dog it could be road kill etc. And you know what goes in must come out.
By Jeff
August 28, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
FYI everyone, Yahoo has an article on their main page about “diaperless babies”…
By Theresa
August 28, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this
Jeff - don’t ruin it — I was going to use it later — my boss just sent me the video — I wasn’t sure if I would have a revolt if I ran something else about poop
By nurse&mother
August 28, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this
Oh I can tell you some stories of diaperless babies.
By Jeff
August 28, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this
Theresa,
OOPS! Sorry! Thought it was interesting considering some of the posts here yesterday!
By nurse&mother
August 28, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this
Theresa I can’t wait to tell some of my stories of the kids without diapers/underwear. When should I expect this blog?
By clever????
August 28, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this
After the poop debacle of yesterday, the typer of this blog pulls out the Vick card to stir up some easy responses. Tune in tomorrow, the topic will be; whos better; working moms or stay at home moms? Thursdays topic; hulk hogans son was driving fast, do you let your kids drive fast? AJC should be ashamed, but they wont be. If they were interested in decent topics, written well, Keith would still be writing this blog.
By Angie
August 28, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this
Y’all need to lighten up. Next thing you know you’ll be telling us that you don’t poop, or if you do, yours doesn’t stink.
Yeah, it’s gross, but it’s one of the first nasty things parents have to face. I used to freak out when someone would throw up, or when my pets had a poop accident. I remember when my oldest was a year old and threw up on my bare feet. I nearly freaked! Now, ten years and two kids later, I can clean it all up without a single gag. Parenthood is good for ya…it toughens you up!
Theresa, how about next time we talk about blood, snot and boogers so we can really watch the wimpy folks cringe? Or how about ear wax…some kids produce an awful lot of ear wax. Did you know that cats like to lick ear wax off a person’s finger? One of the many disgusting things I’d have never learned if I hadn’t had children! :-)
By Bigredd115
August 28, 2007 5:45 PM | Link to this
I don’t have any stories that I would like to tell…but yours was funny!! And gross…but still funny!!! Glad it wasn’t me.
By Aimee
August 29, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this
Fabulous topic that is too taboo for most people! As a mommy of a 10 month old, I laughed out loud reading it. I have had my share of poopy experiences — including a leaking poopy diaper while my daughter was in her jumperoo. I found poop smeared between toes, under toenails, up the legs, etc. Keep it up!!!
By Marty
August 30, 2007 6:59 PM | Link to this
I was a single parent for 8 years, with at first a 14 year old boy and twin boys age 10. When the twins were 10, I prepared a bath for the first one, had the water already in the tub, he was naked ready to get in, when he became sick to his stomach and started to throw up. I told him to bend over the toilet. Picture this bathroom, with the toilet on one wall and the tub on the opposite wall. Most parents know how much gas pressure a human body can have, so now picture this… As he was bent over the toilet, all hell broke loose at the other end. Each time he heaved above, it looked like a garden hose hit the opposite wall and it all ran into the water in the tub. All I could do is stand back and watch in amazement. I think I had to use a strainer when I drained the tub. I don’t recall how long it took me to clean that up.