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July 2007
Junie B. Jones: Good or evil?
Does bad grammar ruin an exciting book series that kids enjoy?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For any parent with a child in or around the first grade you have probably heard the name Junie B.Jones. She’s not the new kid at school or the new Disney Channel star, she’s the main character in a book series that has been a mainstay for young elementary students.
However, she has also been at the center of controversy for many parents because of her grammar and spelling mistakes.
The author, Barbara Park, writes the Junie B. Jones series as if she is a 5-year-old. As a 5-year-old writer, Park makes grammatical errors as well as often spells things like they sound, which is not always correct.
Parents complain that they don’t want their children to think that is the way to speak or to spell. Other parents have issues with Junie calling kids stupid and often getting into trouble.
Just last week, my girlfriend was complaining to me about Junie’s grammar and misspellings and the very next day my husband sent me this story from The New York Times with the exact same complaints.
Did you let your children read the Junie B. Jones book series? Did you have a problem with the grammar or the misspellings? How did you handle them with your child? Do you try to explain they are wrong? What do you think of her calling other children stupid or getting into trouble? Do those things make the books off limits or are some people being overly sensitive?
Permalink | Comments (99) | Categories: Education
Thumb or pacifier?
What’s your suckee of choice?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My 4-month-old daughter found her thumb about two months ago, and she is loving it. She is an amazing self-soother and easily puts herself to sleep rolling around in her crib sucking her thumb. She looks precious with that little thumb in her mouth, but I’m not sure if it will mean trouble later on.
Neither of my first two children really took pacifiers or became thumb suckers. The lactation consultant at Piedmont had warned us against pacifiers in her classes. She prefers thumb sucking because then children can be self-soothers. Also research six years ago suggested that pacifier use led to ear infections. (Not sure if that finding has been reversed — as they often are.)
I’m realizing now that my first two babies took their sucking needs out on me. But with a third you can’t hardly sit there and just let them suck until their heart’s content.
The new baby will take a pacifier also - that green one the hospital gives out (the first years Soothie), but she prefers her thumb. (A side note: One other benefit to the baby taking that Soothie pacifier is she will also take the Soothie bottle. They have made a bottle using the exact same nipple as the pacifier so she likes it. Neither of my other two would ever take bottles at all.)
Did your babies take pacifiers or suck their thumbs? Do you think one is better than the other? How did you wean them off their thumbs or binkies?
Permalink | Comments (61) | Categories: Health
What’s the point of the gated neighborhood?
They seem to be growing fast in Gwinnett. What impact do they have on children?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am seeing more and more gated communities in Gwinnett County, and they are just making me crazy.
What is the point of the gated community? I don’t think we live in that bad of an area where they need it for protection.
I think it’s purely about creating a feeling of exclusivity and trying to point out that a neighborhood is expensive. But, hey we get that already. The houses are big - we can see that without a gate on the road. And guess what — the sign out front tells us exactly how much you’re paying for the house. So we don’t actually need the gate to tell us the neighborhood is expensive.
There are lots of big houses in Gwinnett but somehow adding the gate just seems obnoxious.
Would you live in a gated community? Why do you think they are gated? What message does it send to children? Do you think the kids on the school bus perceive the children or the gated neighborhood differently than other neighborhoods? Is it any different than just living in a big house without a gate?
Permalink | Comments (106) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Fixing things not our forte
We complement each other in many ways -- but neither of us brought handiness to the table. How about you?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I think some of the best couples possess traits that complement each other — where one is weak, the other is strong. For the most part my husband and I are good complements. He is mean. I am nice. He is neat. I am messy. He is a disciplinarian. I am a hugger.
But one trait we both are regrettably missing is handiness. Sadly, neither one of is capable of fixing anything complicated around the house.
In our old house, hanging Christmas lights was a veritable comedy of errors for the neighborhood. We were sure that everyone was watching our Laurel and Hardy-style bumbling as we crawled around on the roof trying to hook lights to the gutters and link up extension cords.
Fixing a leaky toilet and trying to repair a giant hole the kids made in my drywall required multiple trips to the Home Depot for advice and eventually an expert to repair my repairs. Any type of drilling baffles me, as well as finding studs without knocking a string of tiny holes into our walls. (I don’t think stud finders actually work.)
In our old neighborhood, I would wait until Michael was out of town on business — so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings — and would beg our neighbor John to help me fix things. John installed the toggle bolts for our medicine cabinet, put together the baby’s jumpy toy, and drilled holes in my walls for my bulletin board, among many other projects.
In a tremendously generous act of kindness, John and his wife Diane installed for us a new garage door opener, including a key pad. When ours broke while my husband was out of town.
It used to be just every now and then we got smacked in the face with our lack of mechanical ability, but now with our new (old) house it’s a common-day occurrence.
There are always things you have to do to make a house your own — like hanging pictures, towel racks and medicine cabinets. While not actually hard, we find these tasks frustrating to get exactly right. We constantly fight over the best way to do it. I always want to measure to make the holes but they seem to end up over too far. My husband likes to eyeball things but they generally end up crooked.
We finally bought a laser leveler, and somehow our pictures are still not straight. In the basement, our 8-foot-wide Jasper Johns print made it up without blood shed, but is slightly higher on the right side. We’re hoping no one will notice.
My girlfriend walked through our new house last week pointing out all the things she felt we needed to update — a new light fixture in the entry way and removing wallpaper. (She’s very anti-wallpaper.)
She and her husband would tackle these projects with no fear. She saw a few days worth of work. I saw bills for thousands of dollars because I don’t think I’m capable of stripping wallpaper (and the paint appear smooth after), and I don’t want my husband electrocuted swapping out light fixtures.
My husband is more optimistic than I am. I think it has something to do with the house flipping shows he’s watching on TV. He’s pumped about taking on a ceiling fan that is shaking and installing a light kit on another one. I personally don’t know how to fix these things, but I’m happy to assist if he wants to try.
I am committed to being handier in this house — at least until we figure out which one of our new neighbors likes to fix things.
Permalink | Comments (6) | Categories: Family Life
Still go out for baby photos?
Are people still getting professionally taken photos of their kids? Do the school photos suffice when they get to be school age? Where in the world do you hang them all?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’m taking my baby this morning to get photos made. With my other two kids I did shots at 3 months, 6 month, 9 months and 12 months. (I’m a little late with the baby - she’s already 4 months.)
I think a lot of parents used to do this but with digital photography I’m not sure as many parents are still going to studios. Lots of questions on this topic:
Do you still go to a studio (whether it’s Olan Mills, Sears, Target) to get photos made of your kids? How often did you go when they were babies? What about as they got older?
What are your favorite photo places to use? Who do you think gets the best reactions from your kids? Who treats you the most professionally? Who’s the most patient? Who gives the best deal?
Where do you hang all these photos? We were hanging photos all weekend and my husband started protesting hanging more photos of the children in the family room. He’s like, “I’m getting a little tired of looking at these kids all the time.” (There were already a ton of shots of them on the bookcases in the room.) What do you do with the photos once you have them?
Permalink | Comments (47) | Categories: Family Life
Do Un-marrieds get to sleep together?
What are your sleeping arrangement for visiting couples? Do you worry about the impression on your children?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My 30-something brother-in-law is coming to visit us this weekend, and he’s bringing along his girlfriend. I assume they will sleep together in my daughter’s double bed and my daughter will use a sleeping bag in her brother’s room.
My mom (not surprisingly) and several of my girlfriends (surprisingly) are giving me a very hard time about letting two unmarried people sleep together in my house in front of my children. My mother even noted that when my 60-something grandfather wanted to bring his girlfriend to visit us in the ’80s that she told him they wouldn’t be allowed to sleep in the same room.
We were teenagers in the ’80s so I think more impressionable about seeing unmarried people sleep together. I guess I just don’t think my 6-year-old, 4-year-old and 4-month-old are going to think much about it or put two and two together. I think later I would have more of a problem with it, but for now I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
What do you do when unmarried couples come to stay? Does your policy change depending on the age of your children? At what age do you think it matters that children not see two unmarried people sleeping in the same bed? Or does it not matter at all?
Permalink | Comments (202) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Stressed about school starting?
Believe it or not, it’s less than a month away. How will you prepare your kids without getting stressed out?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I was in Target this week and all the back-to-school stuff is already out. I know we have less than a month to go before the big yellow twinkies start circling the neighborhoods, but I’m just not ready to deal with it and thinking about it stresses me out.
The AJC’s Better Health section, much like Target, is also thinking about school starting. They’ve got back-to-school guides for immunizations, bus safety tips, backpack tips, playground safety tips and heat safety suggestions. Here’s the link to all the stories.
Now it’s your turn. They want to know what are your best tips for preparing your kids for school?
Permalink | Comments (38) | Categories: Health
Super powers would be super for Mom
What super power would you chose?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Who’s more powerful Batman or Superman? Why can you see the seats in Wonder Woman’s invisible jet? Where can I find a Ben 10 cake topper?
These are all questions regularly pondered by our superhero-obsessed household.
From Batman underwear and Ben 10 action figures to Spiderman comic books and Teen Titans DVDs, our 4-year-old is consumed by all things super and by extension so are we.
While you won’t catch us showing up at Comic-Con dressed like Captain America, we are pretty super hero literate. My husband and his brother have always been into comics and my brother is too. I grew up watching the “Superfriends” and accompanying my brother to the comic book store. Our little guy is lucky. There are plenty of people willing to share their super knowledge with him.
With all this hero talk, I can’t help but think about what powers I would choose to be a Super Mom.
While pondering this question, I recently asked my mom what power she would choose. She said, “Don’t you remember? I had a super power - super hearing.”
I had forgotten. She was amazing - able to hear mutters, whispers and even sometimes a stuck out tongue. Instead of “It’s a bird, It’s a plane…” we would murmur, “How in the world did she hear that?”
My husband had other plans for his super powers. A fan of the NBC show “Heroes,” he would like to teleport and stop the time space continuum. I’m like, “Well those are great powers, but how would they help you be a better father?”
He said he would save two hours by teleporting to work and spend that extra time with the kids. He said he would stop time to be able to work out, wash clothes and read with the kids at night.
I mentally sifted through a lot of possibilities before settling on my power. There are, of course, the obvious super powers that any mother would want: super patience, strong arms, freakish, yet powerful multi-arms, or equally freaky eyes in the back of your head. All useful powers, but I think we could be more creative
How about a little Jedi Mind Control - “You will eat your broccoli,” “You will wear your raincoat,” “You won’t talk back to me.”
Now we’re getting some place.
Another power I’ve considered many a night is the ability to silence my husband’s snoring. This would also apply to children whining. I would call myself Silencio!
After a ridiculous amount of mulling, I have finally settled on telepathy as my superpower of choice.
Telepathy is the answer to many of my frustrations since having kids. It’s not that I want to move things with my mind. Technically that’s telekinesis. I want to be able to communicate with my husband, Michael, or others without disturbing the baby I’m holding or nursing. I want to be able to silently say to Michael, even when he’s not in the room, “Bring me a glass of water,” “Come and find the remote control,” “The baby just pooped on me. I need help.” “The AC is way too cold.” And, of course, the ever popular: “I’m sitting on the toilet and there’s no toilet paper. Bring me toilet paper.”
I practice often, hoping that one day my power will emerge. So far, no luck.
I recently saw on a mother’s breastfeeding website a T-shirt that said “I make milk - what’s your super power?”
I guess until I get my telepathy up and running, I’ll have to settle for that.
More food for thought
From moms getting meals on the table to being more appreciative of our bountiful food, check out these stories.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Continuing our food theme, here’s two more stories of interest.
The first is a story from The New York Times about one working mom’s plan to get food on the table.
The second story really makes you think about how much Americans take food for granted - I know I do. It’s from an Associated Press reporter who lived on a ration diet in Cuba. She lost 9 pounds and said she obsessed over every meal.
Overall, both stories are good food for thought.
Permalink | Comments (1) | Categories: Family Life
Eating 10 foods or less?
How’s the variety of foods in your child’s diet? How about your own?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The July issue of “Gourmet” magazine had an interesting little blurb:
“One in five Americans live on a diet on 10 foods or fewer. Among the most common choices? French fries, fried chicken, chocolate chip cookies and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.”
We eat our fair share of items from this list, but I think we’re getting other things as well. I started counting just to make sure we were over 10. Here’s what I came up with:
Regularly eaten vegetables: corn, carrots, lettuce (many types), cucumbers, beans, tomatoes, peas, butter beans and broccoli.
Regularly eaten fruit: Strawberry, blueberries, peaches, apricots, cherries, grapes, bananas, watermelon, kiwi, oranges, raisins, plums, cantaloupe and honeydew.
We tend to repeat on our meats with lots of chicken, pork, beef, shrimp and fish, and we eat a ridiculous amount of yogurt. I think our variety is pretty good, but I think our pitfall is we eat too many sweets.
How does your family fare on variety of foods it eats? Give us your list below.
Permalink | Comments (31) | Categories: Health
Wine tasting for kids?
Will letting kids taste adult drinks now prevent them from becoming taboo and a problem later?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We went to a party on Saturday night with lots of families. I was chatting with a friend when her daughter asked to taste her sangria. She let her daughter take a sip and explained to me that she hoped if alcohol wasn’t taboo then her children wouldn’t feel the need to explore later.
As kids, I can remember my dad letting us taste his beer. I can also remember a few Irish wakes in Savannah where the kids were taste testing adult beverages. Michael’s Italian family also has never had a problem with the kids tasting some wine at dinner. We haven’t really been confronted with this issue yet with our own children.
What do you do? Do you let kids taste your drink? Do you think it will keep them from exploring later? For parents with older kids, has this theory worked?
Permalink | Comments (144) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Ironing out role we play in marriage
Is there conflict in your home over which spouse does what? Do you follow traditional roles or play to each other’s strengths?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In the 1950s men’s and women’s roles were pretty clear cut — wives took care of the housework and the children, husbands took care of the cars, took out the trash and made the money.
With the onset of women’s lib, women gained more power, but marital roles got more blurry. While I think it’s great for husbands and wives to pitch in wherever needed, I contend those blurry lines can sometimes lead to strife as couples navigate who should be doing what for the family.
Michael’s father is very old school about what a man should and shouldn’t do around the house.
For example, a man shouldn’t change a diaper. When my husband was first born, his young mother was trying to convince his father to help her more with the baby. So she refused to change Michael’s dirty diaper. But Michael’s father would not budge. It simply wasn’t man-work, and he wasn’t going to do it. Their stalemate went on for hours. Finally his father asked a neighbor to change him. Michael’s mother could never sway him and even when his last child was born in the 1990s, he still refused to help.
Michael’s mother passed away, but my new mother-in-law is old-school like his dad. She loves to rib me about the traditional marital roles I won’t play. When we first got married, she liked to ask me in front of my father- in-law questions about things I would not do for my husband - things they considered wifely duties.
For example, she liked to ask me if I ironed my husband’s shirts, knowing full well that I never have and never will. (Quick side note: I don’t iron. I scorch.)
I am happy to drop my husband’s shirts off at the dry cleaners and pick them up - that I can do well. My mischievous mother-in-law would giggle as she watched my father-in-law’s eyebrows rise while he pretended not to listen to the things I won’t do for his son. I also generally don’t wash his clothes or pack his bag for a trip. (I know lots of ladies that pack for their husbands, but how in the world am I supposed to know what he wants to wear?)
My own parents were a little more relaxed about their roles. My dad helped clean the house, and my mom usually cooked. My mother worked a full-time job, but my dad still filled her gas tank. Even today, he regularly follows her to the station to gas her up.
In our house, we are very modern in our interpretation of who does what — jobs are assigned based on strengths, not tradition.
My husband is great cleaner and washer of clothes so often he takes up those tasks. When he’s home, he also helps tremendously with the kids - changing diapers, giving baths, dressing and playing.
On the other hand, I handle all the finances, change toilet fill-valves, and handle all household matters - including pest control, insurance and the hiring of repair men. I also often end up taking my own car to the shop.
Some of these jobs annoy me, but I’m sure the fact that I don’t clean much annoys my husband.
The other downside to these non-traditional roles is now my husband has developed opinions about things he has no business worrying about - such as furniture and fabrics.
When we first got married Michael had lots of thoughts about what pots and pans we should buy and what duvet cover donned our bed. More recently, we’ve fought about choosing a new refrigerator, porch furniture, towel racks, drapes and medicine cabinets.
Despite some battles over décor and me having to deal with mechanics, I’m pretty sure I’d rather have those conflicts and have him help with the kids than the old-fashioned way.
What do you expect from your spouse?
Helping with the kids not enough? Are you looking for more?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My husband and I were discussing a few weeks ago a couple we used to know. He had heard through the grapevine that they were having some problems and he said he wasn’t surprised. He said, “She never lifted him up. She never made him a better person.”
I was surprised by his analysis. I thought those were some pretty high standards. I couldn’t help but think “Do I lift him up? Do I make him a better person?”
What do you think makes a couple a good couple? What do you expect from your spouse?
Permalink | Comments (37) | Categories: Family Life
