MOMania

By jc

June 6, 2007 7:37 AM | Link to this

My daughter will be a senior this year and has worked PT for 2 years, maintained an A average, and participated in many activities in school. Working this PT job has not hurt her a bit, In fact it helped her develop good work ethics.

By momtoAlex&Max

June 6, 2007 8:02 AM | Link to this

Is increasing their chances for a big-payout scholarship a more valuable experience than working?

You betcha! I never had a job before graduating from college. I only babysat occassionally and did volunteer work and summer school in high school. I got accepted to all 3 colleges I applied for and got a great job upon graduation. If the kids want a summer job, go for it, but I am inclined to think that you get a whole lot more out of say, building a house for Habitat than any experience you can gain flipping burgers.

By past50mom

June 6, 2007 8:13 AM | Link to this

Whether teens volunteer, have an internship, or work in a menial job, all experience is good experience. Colleges and scholarship committees are looking for applicants that have balanced resumes of good academic acievement, extracurricular activities such as sports, music, clubs or drama, and work and/or volunteer experience. Teens can get that experience year round, during the school year and during the summer. Most of the big ticket scholarships (which are very scarce!) that rely on volunteer or community work give those to highly motivated and high achieving kids who are engaged year round in those activities, not just during the summer. They are looking mostly for leadership experience, no matter what activity the teen has undertaken. And the activity is most useful when it complements the teens goals or plans for study or work after high school.

By Richard

June 6, 2007 8:33 AM | Link to this

Theresa - over in your blog about the watering ban (and your disrespect for it), lots of people voiced their opinion that you should be ashamed for ignoring the ban (you supported the illegal activity, justifying it by saying you were willing to pay your share of the fine). Yeah, check the IP addresses (as you love to do) and you’ll see its LOTS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE who think you’re unethical.

Why didn’t you go back and apologize for spitting at the water ban? Many people asked you to come back and post that you realize you were wrong by ignoring the ban.

Any remorse?

By nurse&mother

June 6, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

My mom had the motto that school and my grades came first. I didn’t work during high school, just volunteered and babysat. My husband’s dad put him to work for the family business at an early (age 14 years). I don’t have a problem with my children working a little, but school definitely comes first. If they get to a point that they cannot do their best in school because they do not have time to study or finish reports, then work hours will have to be cut back accordingly.

By abc

June 6, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

If the kids don’t work, who’s paying for cars, gas, pocket money? I think it’s a HUGE mistake to just give them all of that. All kids, once of an age where they can get a job, should have a job. Kids these days have too little a sense of the value of a dollar and what it takes to get it as it is, and that certainly carries over into the workplace with new college grads. I’ve had to deal with too many new masters degrees out of Georgia Tech who were of absolutely no use, but still thought they should be making 6 figures.

By lynn

June 6, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

oh for pete’s sake…get over the water ban blog already!

By One

June 6, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

My 14 yr old is dying to work this summer. She has volunteered for a few yrs. at a GS camp, but never had a paying job. I too am the “your schoolwork is your job” kinda parent, and really don’t want her wasting time in a fast food environment. I would much rather see her intern somewhere, or even babysit or bake her delicious cakes (for $$). The wonderful thing is that she can get internships thru the TAG program at school that will help to build her resume. Anyone know of any job opportunities for 14 yr olds?..she’s a rising 10th grader, but will not be 15 til October.

By JJ

June 6, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Richard/Casey Lay off Theresa!!! She is not going to reply to you anymore. The horse is dead, quit beating it!! Go find another blog to bother. That was so last week!!! And once again, may we inquire as to why you are in a MOM Blog???? Take your spoon home now, and quit trying to stir things up. The topic is dead, we have re-hashed it over, and over, and we Adults are DONE!!!

By Ms. Jones

June 6, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

My 16 year old had a job at the beginning of this year. Her grades dropped drastically, because all she saw were dollar signs. I made her quit the job, to concentrate on her grades. She ended up pulling all the grades back up to B’s. She is doing odd jobs this summer, babysitting, and doing some volunteer work with the Cub Scouts. Her grades are more important right now than her bank account. Although she did put quite a bit of money into her savings account when she was working (at least 50% of her check), she is not allowed to spend freely. Now, she is not working this summer, and can take out some here and there. I think it taught her a good lesson about saving money for a “rainy day”.

By Maria

June 6, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

There’s no reason to have to choose one over the other. I worked menial jobs during the summer and did service projects and clubs during the school year. And my main interest, fiction writing, was something I worked on all year round.

I do think it’s important for teens to work bottom-of-the-totem-pole jobs at some point. I learned so much from my summer jobs: that sometimes you have to suck it up and be the person who makes the copies and the coffee for the rest of the office, that some people will treat you like dirt just because you’re a young’un, that you have to prove yourself to people over and over again. You lose that sense of entitlement pretty quickly.

I paid for most of my first car with the money I’d earned at my first job. And then? I totaled that car about a month later. Talk about an expensive lesson for a 16-year-old. I chose not to drive again until I was nearly 20.

By LM

June 6, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

Both my brother and I started working very young. In many was it was good for us, gave both of us strong work ethics. Our employers loved us, we were always called when they were short handed, and we got the extra hours and overtime. Since our mother was on disability we felt we had to work to support ourselves. School suffered, finals week I worked 60 hours at one job, plus an additional 20 at my second job, I missed 19 out of 45 days in one semester just because I was tired and didn’t get up for the alarm. I was the lucky one I graduated, my bother missed graduating by one class, he as since gotten his GED. One other down side to working, I had a GUN pointed at my face when I was just 16, my brother was the night shift manager and kept his cool, thank goodness

I want my daughter to work, but not like I did. I think volunteer work is very important not only to the community but also to the child’s perception of the world and their place in it.

Earning money has been an issue in our house. She doesn’t earn an allowance, I’ve tried, but I am not going to spend every night nagging her to do chores. We have somewhat of a system of when she wants something she then has to do something for me. Although she does not do chores, when I ask her to do something or for her help, she does it, most of the time without question.

By Oh my

June 6, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

OMG, has Jessie’s girl died and turned the blog police job over to JJ? OK, Richard/Casey/whoever else doesnt’ agree with Theresa, JJ has spoken, get off the blog unless you want to agree with everything Theresa says. You know the drill—NO BLOG FOR YOU!

By JJ

June 6, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

OhMy No, she didn’t hand me the police reigns. I don’t care if anyone agrees with Theresa or not, I’m just tired of Richard constantly re-hashing last week’s blog. It’s over, it’s done, let’s move on.

You can’t please everyone!!!! We all have the right to voice our opinions. And we are entitled to have our own opinions. And it’s ok to disagree. That’s what makes us all unique and individual.

By Give me a break Richard/Casey/Trollboy

June 6, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Richard/Casey/Various Troll sign-ons, Maybe you should apologize to all the victims of the Holocaust for having the gall to compare the crimes against them to someone visiting a home with a sprinkler running. I’ve never seen Theresa complain about commenters disagreeing with her. What’s offensive about trolls like you is that you attempt to change the subject to what is interesting to you instead of the majority of readers. You have nothing to say about summer jobs, so you go complain about something else. You have nothing to say about pre-natal testing, so you complain that it’s an old topic. If you have something to say about summer jobs - please contribute. Of course you don’t, because you’re probably an overweight, single 40-something male who comes here to harass mothers because it’s the closest thing you have to an actual conversation with a woman.

By John

June 6, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

It is essential for kids to have work experience. I was on my own financially as soon as I turned 16. My car, gas, and other expenses had to be funded by me. I was also able to maintain decent grades. As a recent college grad, I can say that employers DO look at work experience. It provides them with an idea of whether or not the kid can hold down a job and follow rules.

Also, starting work early teaches kids the value of money instead of turning to mommy and daddy whenever they need something. It teaches them that life isn’t all sunshine and lollipops and they will have to work if they want something.

By deidreNC

June 6, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

my 15 yo daughter has worked last summer and now has a job working this summer…i think all kids should work at real jobs while they are still in school…whether they work during the school year depends on how well they can keep their school stuff….mine plays basketball and that is lots worse than any job hours…the dpt of labor says a kid under the age of 16 cant work more than 2 hrs on a school day…lol..tell that to the coaches of basketball or any other sport…

im a single mom and no way will i be able to afford to buy her a car next summer when shes 16…and if i could i dont think i would…where are kids gonna get their sense of responsibility if we dont let them learn it?

By Jesse's Girl

June 6, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

Isn’t it funny that those of us with manners are suddenly the “police”? Again children….we applaud your opinion, even your passionate ones, we would just all appreciate it if you expressed them like adults. Really…its not too much to ask.

Per today’s topic…..I think it is totally relative. One of my kids may be ready for the added responsibility while another may not be. I support a summer job if it can be handled in addition to the other responsibilites. I began working during the summer at age 14. It was not an issue for me to juggle everything. But my sister and brother really seemed to struggle with it. I think had I gone directly to college after high school, it would have given me a leg up. But I began singing full time with people at 18…though it still provided a valuable work ethic that served me well.

By JJ

June 6, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

Hey Jesse’s Girl Here are the blog police keys back. You can keep them…..:) I don’t want that job anymore. ha ha!!

By Richard

June 6, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

I see - according to JJ, the watering ban was “so last week”. So, Theresa admits to taking part in a crime (yes, it was illegal activity) and shows absolutely no remorse about it, and at least a dozen folks on here called her on it - and she never apologizes or admits she’s guilty of unethical behavior - but according to JJ, the statute of limitations is over? So, JJ - you believe if you commit a crime, by next week it should be forgotten about? You stated that everyone is entitled to their opinion - I guess that’s supposed to be except for me.

Give me a break Richard/Casey/Trollboy - no wonder you didn’t print your name (re: your 11:16 post). You are truly a waste of space. You dare to mention the sprinkler crime as being on the same level as the holocaust? No one else in this blog has ever compared the two - especially me. Where are you going to claim you saw that? Obviously you’re an anti-semite (sp) and are disgusting.

By the way, you stated that I attempt to change the topic to something of interest to me instead of the bloggers? How stupid are you? Um, the water ban was a topic on here with alot of hits - therefore, yes, it is of interest here. I merely pointed out that Theresa runs and hids when it’s pointed out that she’s acting unethically. You are the one bringing up new topics like ridiculing the Holocaust victims. Look in the mirror (if it doesn’t break) before you yap.

I see you’re so insecure that you want to insult my physical stature? HA - little do you know, but it makes you feel better to make fun of others. If you re-read ALL OF MY POSTS, I never said anything untrue - I’m just willing to state the truth and wimps like you get scared by it and want to cry to momma.

By Lynn

June 6, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

My 15 years old cleans our office for $80 a month & I always sub out the floor mopping at home to her :) for an extra $20 per week. This covers the extra expenses I don’t deem necessary that she has the desire for. It also gives her a sense of how far that money “won’t” go and has really taught her some careful spending habits.

By JJ

June 6, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

Nothing screams LONELY louder than ONE blogger attacking the others, and continuing to beat a dead horse.

By LOL

June 6, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

Richard = “DICK”

By Fulton County Mom

June 6, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

I think that ‘volunteerism’ teaches many of the same things you can hope to get out of a summer job ‘flipping burgers’ and perhaps more. You still learn responsiblity, completing a task, job well done, and so forth. Plus you learn to look outside of your self (no one is flipping burgers for their fellow man they are doing it for the money).

So to my mind the question is moot…both will look good on the resume (for college an later).

I do not see why study or work vs. study and volunteer is the question. It should be important to those wanting to go to college (and not everyone does or should) to study. In the teen years there should be ‘fun’ time but there should also be study and work or study and volunteer…the really ambitious would do all 3.

It probably should start earlier than teen years, as others have mentioned by earning an allowence or $$ for chores. In our house I set up a business deal, interviewed my children for the respective job(s)that were available and agreed to a payment schedule(allowence) if work was completed. It seems to be working well…I added lessons in savings accounts, spending accounts, and tithe to the payments. (This part is still early let you know later how it works).

My point however, is that children should be learning that there are no free rides (except for newborns), we have things we have to do (for no $), things we do to earn $, things for fun…etc.

We adults know life is a juggling act, however why send your child out (as an adult) to juggle without first teaching them how?!

By Give me a break Richard/Casey/Trollboy

June 6, 2007 1:36 PM | Link to this

Richard/Casey:

You dare to mention the sprinkler crime as being on the same level as the holocaust? No one else in this blog has ever compared the two - especially me. Where are you going to claim you saw that?

Here’s where I saw it. Maybe you can’t remember one day ago: **By Richard

June 4, 2007 8:19 AM | Link to this

This is funny as he11!!!

Theresa giving a quiz about ethics!!! It would help if the test giver had any ethics to start with! In her last blog, she questioned the need for water restrictions - bragging about how she and other moms ignored the LAW and used the water illegally(as long as she was willing to pay part of the fine, she figured it was alright).

Ah, you’re killin’ me! This is like Adolph Hitler lecturing about race relations. Or Jeffrey Dahmer talking about how to respect the dead.**

By DB

June 6, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Having gone through the college process this year, it seems to me that the job vs. volunteer experience isn’t really an issue — the colleges are more interested in learning more about what the kid got out of their experience than the experience, per se. And, frankly, a balance of job AND volunteer work is really ideal. My son has worked since he was 11 as a referee, so he had seven solid years of weekly work experience (and the accompanying money management experience.) On the other hand, he never worked during the summers, because we were usually traveling, or he was heavily involved in Scout stuff. A previous poster was correct in that leadership/service scholarships are few and far between, and usually go to the unusual kid who has, early-on, found their volunteer passion and has found a means to make a difference with it.

As a high school graduate this summer, however, he is finding it difficult to find a job for only 2-1/2 months, before he goes away to school. Everyone he has talked to, once they find out he’s gone in mid-August, thank him and send him on his way. sigh.

My daughter, at 15, babysat full-time last summer. During the school year, they were both so heavily involved in extra-curricular sports and art activities that there was, literally, no time for work during the week. When you don’t get home from practice until 6 or 6:30, and have 2-3 hours of homework, there’s not much time for anything else, except the occasional babysitting or refereeing job on the weekend.

Keep in mind, though, that no amount of volunteering or work experience is going to make up for grades or test scores. Grades and school come first —as I always told my kids, school is their FIRST job, anything else is just icing.

By DB

June 6, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

To posters want to keep sniping on about water bans, etc., it would be more effective, please, to keep it on the same thread instead of letting it spill over into every future thread. You’ve made your point. We get it it. Stop belaboring the point, and let’s get one with discussing other topics, please.

By nurse&mother

June 6, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

The soap opera drama is starting to get old.

By Richard

June 6, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

DB - I’d quit if Theresa only had the guts to admit she acted irresponsibly. But she is defiant that she has the right to ignore the water ban (and any laws she doesn’t like).

By Richard

June 6, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

Give me a break Richard/Casey/Trollboy - you’re grasping at straws now. Belittling Hitler (and his views) is not insulting to Jews (in fact I believe most Jews are against Hitler’s views too - I guess you’re in support of them) any more than belittling Dahmer is akin to insulting his poor victims.

Get a dose of reality.

By JJ

June 6, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Richard Do you know when to let go? You constantly go back to the watering ban and apparently cannot go forward until you get a reaction out of Theresa. It aint gonna happen, she is above you.

Have you ever, in your poor pathetic life, broken a law? People do it all the time and some of us actually laugh at ourselves. Do you drive the actual speed limit? I bet you are the one doing 55 on the highway in the left lane. Have you ever received something at a store you did not pay for and left with it? Have you ever tried an illegal drug? Have you ever run a yellow light that was almost red?

What makes you so high and mighty? Actually I know what makes you HIGH, and apparently you have a major stash!!

Now are you happy you have gotten a rise out of some of the regular bloggers? Ok, gonna sleep tonight knowing that you irritated a bunch of people? Isn’t that your goal? Step away from the crack pipe, and try getting out of mommy’s basement, and get a life.

By Jeff in Roswell

June 6, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

Richard quit being an a hole. Theresa should just ban your azz. I’m not upset about your views… just where you are posting them. The “water ban” thread is still open - go there and whine please. This thread is about summer jobs if you haven’t noticed.

By fk

June 6, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

I think teenagers should work part-time with the expectation to maintain grades. The multi-task experience teaches them to manage time and to be responsible outside the home without parental interference. It is possible to exhibit a good work ethic and maintain academic grades. It should not be one or the other. Plus, they are less likely to waste the money they earned.

By Lynn

June 6, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Theresa, I just wanted to add that this was an interesting topic today. I would love to see more blogs geared toward those of us with only teens & the allowing the parents to share ideas on getting through the tough times or raising a teen in today’s society. I still enjoy the cute toddler stories I read on here. They bring back a lot of memories.

By Jesse's Girl

June 6, 2007 5:09 PM | Link to this

I would also like to pick the brains of those moms and dads going thru the teenage years and those who have managed to come out the other side relatively unscathed. Our oldest is 10….and a half thank you very much….and I see the hormone hurricane a-blowin’. I have already had to sit down with her and explain that sometimes its ok to just cry because you’ve had an off day….and that its ok to cry even if you don’t know the reason immediately. She struggles with that one because she is the carbon copy of her father. She analyzes EVERYTHING!!! She puts a lot of pressure on herself to over-achieve. So I’ve also had to tell her to just be a kid! Even though she is more reserved and insightful of our children…I worry a little more about her as a teenager. She tends to internalize things until she just implodes. She’s also very bright. Too bright in regards to teenage angst. I worry she will out smart me with the rules sometimes:) Which is why we are seriously going to put the GPS tracking chips in some jewelry and in her car. I’m serious.

The 8 year old is an open book. She verbalizes every thought she has…..not always a wise choice we’ve explained. With her out going personality and tell-it-like-it-is ways, we worry less about having to be Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew to discover her issues. She will tell us….and very dramatically mind you.

By Theresa

June 6, 2007 7:04 PM | Link to this

Hey Lynn and Jesse’s Girl — I am happy to do more teen topics — I don’t have teens so I don’t know all their issues — I am happy to use the ideas you guys post (Jesse;s girl we can use the one above about the hormones next week no problem) — or you guys are welcome to email me the ideas to ajcmomania@gmail.com if you want to be anonymous —- we can definitely do more teen stuff - help me formulate the ideas — thanks guys!

By Jesse's Girl

June 6, 2007 7:52 PM | Link to this

The thing is…I remember vividly what it was like to be a teenager with nuclear hormones! But the issues just aren’t the same today. When I graduated in 1992 the biggest problem we had was how to inhale and what to do about the 1 or 2 girls in school that became pregnant. But that was senior year. Now kids are facing this in 5-8th! Not to mention all the new and different drugs that are out there. I guess I’m just looking for a way to handle all of this that doesn’t involve chastity belts, prozac and bars on the windows.

By Ms. Jones

June 7, 2007 8:18 AM | Link to this

Myself and plenty of friends have teens. I can say, from my experience, just keep the lines of communication open. Let them you that you are available for them 24/7.

I have been a single parent since day one with my child. (Hubby ran away after I announced I was pregnant). Now that she is in her mid-teens and in high school, I’ve noticed that she doesn’t really COME to me to discuss things. I have made it very clear to her that I am here. I have not dated, have not paraded men in and out of my house, because I wanted to focus on raising her. I think we are close, and I have always been there for her.

I try to bring up topics, just to let her know I am comfortable talking to her. We have discussed sex, drugs, etc. She’s not very forthcoming, but she does know I am here for her if she needs me.

These kids have hormones raging inside their bodies, and we need to be patient, and remember what it was like for us at that age.

Also, I have backed off a bit, allowing her to try out her “wings”. I see some good decisions, and some bad decisions, and I point out both to her. I try to build her confidence, and I hope to be succeeding. She is very polite to others and I constantly get compliments on her behaviour.

It’s tough, but it’s our job as parents to guide these teens through the teenage years. Keep your chin up, and whatever you do, do not allow your child to CONTROL YOU… You are the parent, you are in charge. And they will push that envelope as far as they can, and you have to push it right back.

By abc

June 7, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

Oh, you’re in for a real treat with teenagers. Seemingly overnight they become sullen, monosyllabic, lying sneaks. If you discipline them too much to their dislike, they’ll tell the cops they’re afraid to come home, at which point they come arrest you. You’ll hear some parents talk about their teens in other than horror story terms, but they’re the extreme minority; you won’t think your angels could turn into such monsters, but they will.

Your best bet is to ensure that you and your kids are going to a really good church!

By Pagan

June 7, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

ABC Church huh? I don’t think so. I don’t go to church, nor do my children. We are just fine thank you.

I don’t believe in church, God or organized religion. I believe in parenting my children, and being involved in their daily lives.

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Mine are not teens, but I do have to say that the teens that are active in our church seem to be on the right track. Ok so they have to be reminded no texting during the sermon. However, for many years several of them gave up their spring break to build housing in Mexico…The HS are going to Miami for Mission work. They are encouraged to share this with their friends, and with the younger youth….I agree that some will turn away from the church….however, I agree with ABC in that getting involved, and adding to that being an involved parent, will be a big bonus.

My youngsters are active at their age level in our church, I plan to keep encouraging that.

It may be mosque, synagogue, temple (sp?) or church for your child, but the key is to instill values and resposiblity while they are young.

My last pastor pointed out that you have 5 years to shape their belief in God (they can get it later but its a harder path), then the next 5 to instill right and wrong. 5 to get responsiblity….unfortunately they then are 15 and pretty much going to ignore you—-because they are practicing (we hope) what you taught them. Unfortunately the human development process does not allow true reasoning (seeing all the implications of ones actions) regarding right and wrong until the late teens to 20s.

Now I will humbly submit that just as it is easy for those w/o children to tell us parents how to parent; it is easy for those of us not going through teen years yet, to say this stuff.

I look forward to hearing what those of you have to say on the teen subjects, forewarned is forearmed as it were.

Personally, I find myself on my knees alot praying for mine…and yours.

By Theresa

June 7, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

hey guys — One of you smart ladies sent me some really good teen ideas last night — I’ve already got a blog in the system for tomorrow but I will try to do at least one teen idea a week — this mom sent a bunch of good ones — so I will definitely incorporate more teen issues for you guys! thanks so much - theresa

By DB

June 7, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

I don’t think church HURTS, by any means, but I also think the mind-set of regular church-going families are also those who don’t take a lot of c**p from their kids in the first place. So yeah, the kids at church are usually going to be pretty well-mannered. It doesn’t mean that kids who don’t go to church aren’t well-mannered, too. It takes a lot of consistency and clear expectations, and one can do that in and out of church/synagogue/mosque, whatever. In our family, we had the support of a faith-based school with high expectations. It has been invaluable.

Teenagers are basically self-centered, and manners are basically being aware and considerate of those around you — two things that are at odds with each other. If you can shake a teenager out of their bubble and help them develop a consideration for other people, the manners fall into place (with a little coaching :-)

abc, I do have to disagree with you regarding your assertion that teens turn into sullen, monosyllabic, lying sneaks. Not all do, and in fact, most don’t. Mind didn’t, and their friends are young people that I wouldn’t mind adopting, they are also pleasant, interesting and enjoyable. Yes, they are sometimes moody — but hey, once a month, so am I! Are they perfect? Heck, no. Have I caught them trying to push the envelope? Of course — it’s their job description, to stretch and find the limits. It’s my job to make sure the limits that are set are realistic and allow them room to stretch.

FCM, I chuckled when I read your observation that those of you who hadn’t hit the teenage years yet maybe shouldn’t be commenting … I disagree! If you have kids, you always have a game plan, even for the teenage years. It doesn’t mean that the plan might not be subject to change.

By Richard

June 7, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

I’ve helped my son get a summer job that I think he’ll really enjoy. It’s with the Gwinnett County water department. He’ll be checking on Theresa’s house, along with her friends’houses, every day to see if she’s throwing anymore pool parties - since she exerted her right to do so.

By abc

June 7, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

DB, you must be in a vastly different area of town than I, or you see nothing but the minority of good kids (in which case, pats on the back for you). There may very well be a lot going on that you’re not aware of, due to such effective and practiced teen lying.

In Cherokee County, specifically Towne Lake, the good kids are such a minority that I almost never encounter one. A school board member there recently and tragically lost her son to drug overdose — the kid had been a junkie and pusher all through high school. They started a memorial fund for him. My son used to tell me that the kid’s dad openly smoked pot — an assertion that my admonishments against doing so were BS, since the kid’s dad made 2 or 3 times what I did. (My kid was probably lying.) Last year a kid died of overdose at a party in my neighborhood, in the home of a registered sex offender, also a fairly recent H.S. graduate. In taking him the emergency room, his friends decided to stop at a store on the way, thus allowing him to expire. They were more concerned with lying and keeping themselves out of trouble than saving their friend’s life.

Every weekend, and I mean every, whoever’s house is absent of parents for one reason or another has a party of 30-100 kids going on. The houses get trashed, injuries and trips to the ER are common. Sometimes, the parents allow it to happen in their presence, under the misapprehension that it’s better under their supervision than someplace else without their knowledge. Few kids aren’t exposed to the big party scene, because there is so much opportunity. No kids tell their parents about it.

Shoot, sneaking out through the window after the parents go to sleep is quite common. Do you have a kid 15-18 years old? Start doing spot checks at 3AM. I hope you don’t get a big surprise.

A common ruse is for the kids to call the school pretending to be each other’s parents, asking the student be checked out for the day for a made-up reason. The schools don’t require the parent to appear in the office, they just let the kids go. This happens 50 or more times a day at Etowah H.S. They don’t show up as unexcused absences, so the parents never find out. The kids then go party at each other’s homes while the parents are away at work. My own kids, ranging in age from 17-26, estimate that these behaviors represent 70-90% of all teens.

This generation is a fright, and realizing what it is is better than saying a handful that aren’t that way represent the majority. Wake up. They don’t! Such behavior doesn’t know a specific demographic, nor neighborhood, city or county.

By JJ

June 7, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

Richard that’s pretty petty, I mean funny.

My child just got a job with the cyber police, and he will be monitoring blogs to see if people can stay on topic, and quit harrassing bloggers, and the writer. I’ve already given him your IP address. You should be hearing from him very soon.

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

ABC, do you know the schools Administrators where your children attend? My parents did and they ALWAYS knew the minute we checked out…

My Dad recently admitted that one reason they never moved was they had my room over a large piece of concrete with a steep drop off in the yard, and my brother over a 7.5 ft drop near rocks….they figured (correctly) that that would deter sneaking out a window.

I have already decide to employ that tactic and buzzers on the doors (which I have now) as mine get older.

I will agree may not STOP it but it might help discourage it some.

Then again, my brother dated one girl who’s Mom kept calling to say she thought he shouldn’t drive home (weather, time, whatever) he could sleep at their house. Come to find out she was letting them sleep in the same bed!

By abc

June 7, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

Yeah, I knew the administrators. They weren’t really paying that close of attention. A system that doesn’t require the parent to enter the building and retrieve the child is obviously not very well thought out, but it’s representative of how public schools are run. They just blame parents.

It probably wasn’t the girlfriend’s mom who was calling, likely someone pretending to be her, hm?

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

no it was her Mom she told my Mom straight out that she was letting them sleep in the same bed….that was after my Mom went to see about some drama over there…..what a mess!

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

no it was her Mom she told my Mom straight out that she was letting them sleep in the same bed….that was after my Mom went to see about some drama over there…..what a mess!

Oh, the drama wasn’t a baby!

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

no it was her Mom she told my Mom straight out that she was letting them sleep in the same bed….that was after my Mom went to see about some drama over there…..what a mess!

Oh, the drama wasn’t a baby!

By Lynn

June 7, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

Been busy all morning so I just got a chance to check in. ABC - I remember sneaking out a couple times & skipping school several times back in the 80’s, so i’m sure a lot of kids are still doing it…just not as many as you seem to be exposed to. My daughter is a pretty level headed teenager (more than I was :) but she’s going through the changes of becoming a young woman just like all her peer friends. Most of them seem to be smart well guided young adults but every now & then I run into one I have “those instincts” about & before I can forewarn her, she has an “I know mom” in store for me. Teens are really struggling these days with all the gangs, groups & pressure put on them. Sometimes I just have to put my brain on rewind & try to remember how I felt at her age. And Theresa, thanks for the upcoming teen blogs. They will get you prepared for what’s coming.

By Lynn

June 7, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

FC Mom…your kidding me? So we have to worry about the parents as much as the kids?

By Jesse's Girl

June 7, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

Please don’t tell me Towne Lake is bad!!! We were considering moving out that way!

By LM

June 7, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

FC Mom See if you can follow, I’ll to stay focused.

My mom was dating a men who had 2 sons, both 7 to 10 years older than my brother and I. His wife would allow the boys (while in HS) to bring home girls to stay the night. Next morning whe would make breatfast for them. My mom was raised on a small farm in Michigan, that was just not done. And tried to explain to him why it was wrong. He never got it, to him it was okay. Finally she said I was bringing a boy over for the night, he was the only father figure I ever had and he looked at me has his daughter. He finally got it. No I was not having a boy stay over.

By Fulton County Mom

June 7, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

LM, sometimes it is only when they have a daughter they get it….trust me the father of the girl was the drama and it all had to do with whom was sleeping where!

I cannot imagine letting my children co-ed sleepover — other than the supervised school/chuch lock in type things…..

Lynn, all I can suggest is that you communicate with the parents/gaurdians of whomever your children hang out with. My mother did not condone such goings on under her roof, was horrified that the mother allowed it, and put a stop to it. Unfortunately, yes some parents don’t seem to care.

The first time I met my (now ex) sil she was under a blanket in her bed with her b/f (clothed)…she had just graduated HS…..I should have known then to RUN not WALK as far and fast as I could from that family.

By abc

June 7, 2007 5:20 PM | Link to this

Well shoot Jessie’s Girl, I was putting my house up for sale in the next few months! :-)

For adults, TL is great; for small children, fabulous; for teens, not so much. The priviledge and availability, coupled with overindulgent parents, proves to be too much enticement. The 16 year old DUI is driving the brand new BMW his dad bought him, holding the finest herb purchased with his big allowance plus cash he stole from his mom’s purse. The kids on adderol (estimated 35% on ADHD drugs of some kind) sell them for $5 each at school, approx. the amount of cash kids spend on lunch. And on and on… but I’d wager it’s the same everywhere, and parents are just unaware of it. It took quite a lot of surveillance and research for me to catch on.

By DB

June 11, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

abc, I’m fully convinced that, most of the time, “bad kids” like the ones you described are the result of bad parenting, with too much of everything — too much leniency, too much money, too much time on their hands, and not enough parental supervision. The parents have equated MONEY = LOVE. As I told my son when we provided him with a very uncool used car, I think it’s a form of child abuse to give a teenager a BMW, a Corvette, Mustang or other “hot” car. Not only because it’s just asking for trouble, but because it sets the expectations impossibly high for the rest of their lives! He was happy not to have a BMW when it came time to pay his share of the insurance :-)

Before my son was born, lo these many years ago, I was struck by someone in my office who quit to stay at home with their middle-school teenagers. We asked, “Why?! Most parents quit when they are born and are going back to work when they hit middle school!” Her answer has always stayed with me: “Are you kidding? THIS is the time when they need the most parental supervision!”

It doesn’t matter what part of town I live in, abc — kids are basically kids no matter where you go. But having a strong parenting presence is a must, and surrounding yourself with support. In our case, the support came from a private school that shared the same values that we do — and yes, it was a true sacrifice to send them there, I haven’t had a new car in 10 years, and the furniture is becoming increasing ratty — but it was worth every penny. Support also came from incredible Scout leaders, who stressed leadership and personal responsibility. And, of course, other parents in the neighborhood, who didn’t hesitate to stop my son on the street and fuss at him if they felt he was driving to fast (more effective from them than from me!), or calling to insure that yes, there was a sleepover, and no, it wasn’t a co-ed (the idea!!)

Kids are what you make ‘em.