MOMania

By Richard

June 4, 2007 8:19 AM | Link to this

This is funny as he11!!!

Theresa giving a quiz about ethics!!! It would help if the test giver had any ethics to start with! In her last blog, she questioned the need for water restrictions - bragging about how she and other moms ignored the LAW and used the water illegally(as long as she was willing to pay part of the fine, she figured it was alright).

Ah, you’re killin’ me! This is like Adolph Hitler lecturing about race relations. Or Jeffrey Dahmer talking about how to respect the dead.

Jeez, someone get her off of here!

By Fulton County Mom

June 4, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

1.Tic Tacs: Have the child pay for the item if able, or parent pay for it. Then have child dump said candy in the trash! Otherwise they learn: if I open Mom will buy it and I can have it. Brachs: leave a dime in the container if there is one, otherwise let Management of store know you wish to pay (the store has the right to say its ok not too…not the patron). Bananas: Teach your children patience…they can eat them when they get home, or in the car. If you absolutely need to give them the bananan to shut them up (grrr) then pay for them BEFORE you finish shopping.

3.Pool: Got a better one for you. Kid approx 10 tells dad to hold on a minute before they leave….proceeds to ‘crouch’ on the stairs and watch the area…what do you do?

4.Ugly talk: What would you do if the contractor were cursing? It is no different. Pull the person aside, explain that there are ‘young pitchers’ near by and that if they cannot refrain from such talk you will have to find another contractor.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this

Dear Richard or should I say Casey — You’re back from vacation I see. We didn’t miss you.

I hope that your negativity doesn’t prevent our other commenters from sharing their views and their experiences.

I hope you have a wonderful day trolling the internet trying to ruin discussions that you have no sincere interest in.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Fulton Co mom — I guess I would yank the child up out of the water by his arm — make him tell the life guard what he just did — and then he doesn’t get to go to the pool for the rest of the summer — that would be a pretty good punishment — an accident is one thing - intentionally going is another — we had some older kids pooping in the neighborhood pool - they installed security cameras — that ended.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

OOh or better yet when the family goes to the pool, the kid still has to go, but has to sit out the whole time —- that would really stink — my brother broke his arm at the beginning of a summer when we were little and had to sit out the whole summer when we would go to the pool with the camp — poor guy really suffered.

By Richard

June 4, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Oh yeah Theresa, you’re a quick one there (thinking I’m also Casey). Yeah, and I’m also: youareanidiot, dadof3, The Book, laura, BanAllKiddiePools, Bill Fields, cp, Skymgirl, sagegirl, Egads, Will, what the heck, Disgusted, lovelyliz and Katie.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM posted on the watering blog about what a selfish, unethical person you are. But, you’d rather believe it’s just one person that thinks you’re shameful, instead of LOT of folks.

Go back and read all of the comments from the watering blog (instead of your usual hit and run) and see what most people think about your “moral fiber”. Of course, you’ll just claim they’re all idiots.

By Koz

June 4, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

You weigh the bananas before hand? That’s going a little overboard.

By Fulton County Mom

June 4, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Theresa, I do agree with both your ideas. However, that would probably only work if it were my child in question. In this case, it was neighbor’s child, a neighbor I did not know. My children were not present.

We had someone defecate in the hot tub……DISGUSTING in either case.

By parentof4

June 4, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

By JJ

June 4, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

The tic tacs would be paid for.

The cart incident, actually happened to my daughter at a restaurant. I immediately notified the manager, and we took steps to clean and disinfect.

Banana, guumy worms, or anything else that is eaten before paid for is stealing. Even one gummy worm. Teach the kid patience, and let them know before hand that they have to be paid for before eating.

Peeing by the pool, how many people saw this? Still, get a lifeguard, and clean up after your kid.

Racist comments - fire the handy man immediately, after telling him his comments are not appreciated in my house!!!

It’s called doing the right thing. Leading by example.

Richard/Casey Do you not think that you can be traced to your IP address? HELLO?????

By The Book

June 4, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

I see Theresa is on her moral pedestal today. Some frightfully shocking mombies moments ensue.

The breastpads. Well gee, if your kids are that much of a burden that you can’t unhook them and return the unpaid item, guess you shouldn’t have had them. Huh? Just last week I noticed a bag of dogfood underneath my cart that I’d forgotten to pay for and the clerk hadn’t noticed. I immediately turned around and went back into the store and paid for it. No question about whether I should or shouldn’t. And hey, guess what? I didn’t take kids to the store so I didn’t have to hook and unhook them. A novel approach. Did you know lots of store are open 24 hours a day? You can put the kiddies to bed, kiss hubby on the forehead, and go shopping. I’m not even going to get started on leaving the kids in the van so you could throw the item back into the store, hotshot.

Who raised this woman? Wolves?

By abc

June 4, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

EVERYONE pees in the dang pool. I add a chemical that creates a purple cloud in the water when they do, busted!

By Will

June 4, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

These aren’t questions that raise any concern over a persons ethics as much as they are how do you react, after the fact, to making horrible decisions as a parent. If your kid is sick (diarrhea?) dont take him to a grocery store! Whos kid walks around the store eating banannas? Why is your kid able to open a pack of tic tacs, where are you? why would you even consider putting them back on the shelf? I can’t imagine a scenario where a handyman would just randomly make racist remarks in front of your kids, what kind of people are you bringing into your home? yanking kids around by the arm? kids peeing and pooping in public? locking kids in vans? what is there to think about when/if a child has diarhhea on a cart, of course you go to lengths to see that its cleaned up, thats not a question of ethics!

I need a nap.

By One

June 4, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

Good one abc! I HATE public pools, esp. those that serve an entire community………..just nasty!!

By meansonny

June 4, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

I believe there are few ethical questions with a finite answer. (as far as children are concerned)

One sure thing I have found with my three children (ages 3, 1 1/2, and 2 months) is that as soon as I say “never” or “always”, they will surely find some exception. Same goes with these “What do you do?” questions. There are as many answers as there are factors in the situations.

For example…What do you do when you are making a quick exit from the Target with one baby crying not only because you made him throw away his tic-tacs, but also because his sister (also crying) threw up her freshly eaten banana (paid for or not is negligable) all over him, the cart, herself, and the baby (also crying because she needs to nurse which you would like to do but realize you are leaking and…guess what…you just walked out with the breast pads you came for laying in the cart unpaid for!)

I try to do my best in any situation, I teach my kids to do their best in a situation, and I hope others did their best! My best may not be your best, your best may not be my best, but what more can you do?

By Jesse's Girl

June 4, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Some of you are such dum dums. As if any of us have a parental force field protecting us from the foibles of being mommies and daddies. We all mess up….even richard/casey/fill-in-the-personality. I think when we stray when our kiddies are very young, that is an opportunity to practice on making it right. The older they get, the more aware they become of our foul-ups and it becomes even more imperative for them to see us make ammends.

No parent is going to get it right every single time. I personally think its pretty dern cool of Theresa to post her real life parenting issues so openly. Its called having an open and honest dialogue. All of her detractors either need to lighten up or stop visiting this blog. Clearly it is causing you some concern. Sort of speaks to your level of intelligence that you keep stopping by just to beat your head aginst the wall. If you feel so strongly about the moral compass by which this little blog of our’s sails…perhaps you should cut us all loose and begin your own. Problem solved.

By The Book

June 4, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl who died and made you Queen Mombie today? It’s not your little blog, it’s a public blog. And what exactly do you think blogs are for? Surely not tea-time and chit-chat. If Theresa wants to write about this stuff, we’ll answer how we see fit. Oh, I almost forgot:

Happy Monday bloggers!! : ) smile, smile, kiss, kiss. Gimme a friggin’ break!

By DB

June 4, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

TicTacs: Pay for them, but the child doesn’t get them. Depending on the age of the child, they have to use their allowance (or birthday money!) to pay for it. My children were never allowed to graze at the grocery store, so that was never an issue. If they asked to snack, I would explain that until Mommy had paid for it, it still belonged to the store and it would be wrong to eat it. After a while, they stopped asking because they knew they couldn’t. Re: The breast pads. Sorry, I would have taken the whole crew back in to a) return or b) pay for them. Yes, it would be wearisome, but it would have been an excellent object lesson for the older ones, that no matter how inconvenient, you are still morally obligated to do the right thing.

The mucked-up cart: Hey, it happens. No point in getting hysterical and start avoiding every cart in the world from now on. The best you can do is clean it up as much as possible and alert the store, who can take it out back and hose it down. (This, by the way, is one reason a lot of people lay a blanket/towel/diaper on the seat before a child sits on it.)

Pool pee-er needs a sharp talking to about the appropriate places to relieve themselves. I mean, would they stand in the kitchen and do that? I don’t think so. Depending on age, they also need to help clean up (rinsing was fine), and also depending on age, need to sit out the next swim period. Something along the lines of “Until we’re sure you have it under control, you need to sit out the next kid’s swim.” What is it about pools that make people think it’s ok to share their urine?!? I know the chlorine goes a long way towards disinfecting things, but still … yuck. Our neighborhood pool was shut down four times last year because parent were too lazy to put their toddlers in the appropriate waterproof underwear. By the third time, the entire neighborhood was talking about imposing hefty fines on the scofflaws.

Racist comments. Rudeness and crudity does not need to be met with the same, IMHO, especially if your children are watching. If a workman uses objectionable language, you can politely and firmly say, “Please don’t use that kind of language in our home.” It’s your home, and you have the right to make the rules, and frankly, it’s not necessary to preach why. If the person stops, then your goal is accomplished — you have expressed your displeasure, and you have halted the offensive speech. If they can’t respect your wishes on this issue, then they don’t need to be taking your money. I, personally, would feel uncomfortable demeaning anyone in front of my children. Lowering yourself to their level to demean and belittle does not teach your children the higher ground of your moral stance. It teaches them that Mommy can be a b*** when she gets mad. :-) To control your temper and achieve your objective, though — now THERE’S a goal.

By Jesse's Girl

June 4, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

Thank you for proving my point so beautifully The Book. If the way she handles certain situations is so upsetting to some of you, why torture yourselves? Go write the ANTI-THERESA blog. Although….some of the explosions are quite entertaining.

By Richard

June 4, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

Ah yes, Jesse’s Girl thinks it’s fine to insult everyone - but Theresa. She’s insulted lots of people here, but wants to kiss up to Theresa. Sorry hunny, but Theresa’s just as flawed as all the others you insult.

(when you define yourself as someone else’s property - Jesse’s Girl - it says alot about your self esteem.)

By Becky

June 4, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl, I don’t think that it could of been said any better than you just said it.. I have twin granchildren that will be in 5 the end of this month & I think that anyone that has ever gone through anything mentioned above, knows that it’s not always easy. As my Mother used to say, kids will be kids & kids do still have a mind of their own…

By Jeff in Roswell

June 4, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

Peeing in the pool? Big deal. Urine is not going to kill anyone. Besides that, the chlorine is going to neutralize it. I’m more worried about the excessive use of Chlorine than Pee! If they peed next to the pool just wash it off wish some pool water - again a little pee is not going to cause a danger to ANYONE!

Furthermore, you need to lighten up on Theresa. Sometimes I feel she really doesn’t have a grip on motherhood - she’s a typical “city” mother who needs to move out of here and live in rural America. Once you’re there you’ll see what is really important. Atlanta area living is a nothing more than “Fluff”.

By Katie

June 4, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

go back in and pay for them or be a dishonest person. simple as that, really, it is. Yes, it may be hard witht he kids but it’s the right thing to do. I can’t believe you actually have to ask this question.

By The Book

June 4, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

BINGO Jesse’s Girl! You’ve got it now. Blogs are for entertainment. If it’s entertaining for us to slam the blogger, we will. And I thought this was the ANTI-THERESA blog (ha). I’m not here as a flamer or troll, I’m just here to put in my two cents worth too. Theresa obviously has some misguided ideas about life. I just try to point out to her that she and her brood aren’t the only ones on the planet.

Blog on!

By Amy

June 4, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

I do know that for the detractors, I’m beginning to think they don’t have a human nature at all. Have you never been overwhelmed????? It is hard to think straight when you are overwhelmed. To you detractors, you can hardly say you love them more just because you are ALWAYS IN CONTROL.

Theresa, I do try to go back and do the right thing to teach my kids, and the older they get the more important it is. That lesson about the tic tacs or whatever DOES stay with them, and is one of the building blocks of their character.

It is coming back to haunt me now when my boys say - “you didn’t make me stop diving in the pool when it was posted “NO DIVING” before - why now??????” Because you’re 5’9” tall and the pool is only 5’ deep! OOPS!

By Been There

June 4, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

If you leave the store without paying for something: check your receipt for the store’s phone number, call them and ask them to send someone to meet at the curb.

I’ve actually done this when I left one of my bags at the register.

By sagegirl

June 4, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Hhhmm… last week you were at a pool party violating the water ban. This week you’re allowing your children free reign at the grocery store getting five-finger-discounts.

I thinks I see a pattern here.

By Jennifer

June 4, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

As far as the breast pads go, I would have taken them back as soon as I could. I wouldn’t have taken them back with 3 screaming kids in tow. I would have probably called the customer service desk from my cellphone and asked someone to meet me at the door. I always do the kid pat-down at the register to make sure they aren’t holding onto something because I don’t want to steal anything. We were in a store when I was new at the mommy thing and my oldest was in a stroller. We walked down the corridor of the mall and I noticed she had an electric razor in her hands! I walked around and took it back and told the cashier what had happened.

By Brian

June 4, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

I have never had a child pee in the pool, but I have had a child pee about five feet away from one.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I’m not sure I buy this one. They have; you just never found out.

By abc

June 4, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Jeff, spoken truly… kids aren’t the only ones peeing in the pool, I mean EVERYONE does, adults included. Still grosses me out, I’ll keep using the purple cloud.

By Jesse's Girl

June 4, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Um Richard….my blog name refers to the Rick Springfield song “Jesse’s Girl” and the fact that Jesse is my husband’s name. A small aside…I think even Theresa can attest to the fact that I do not always agree with her. I simply have enough decorum to share my opinion in a way that does not demonize her. Perhaps you should take notes.

By Jeff

June 4, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Funny how you people will cry about pee in the pool yet, you’ll allow yourself and your kids to swim in creeks, rivers and lakes. Soccer moms at their finest.

By Road Runner

June 4, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

It really scares me that these questions need to be asked. I think that there should be some sort of license that needs to be obtained before having children. We teach our children right from wrong, and they see everything that we do. We set the foundation for their future, so do the right thing. Always. Do it even if it takes another 30 seconds out of your day.

By Jennifer

June 4, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Theresa, if you are taking requests, I’d love to see a topic on playdate/neighbor etiquette!

By abc

June 4, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Jeff, that’s not entirely true, at least not for everyone. I live on Lake Allatoona, but won’t go in it for the pollution from runoff. Fish poop? Not so much compared to side-effects of over development. Lanier is just as bad. Now, a stream up in the Smokies is a bit of a different matter, due to the current, at least to my sensibilities — and that’s all I’m talking about really, nothing scientific. Besides, the purple cloud doesn’t work in mountain streams!

By Larry

June 4, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

Aren’t we CONSTANTLY being told we can’t impose our moral standards on others by the elites in our culture? If there are no moral standards there are no ethics and stealing Tic Tacs is not only not wrong, it’s a morally neutral act. We can’t have it both ways folks. Either absolute standards of right and wrong exist or they don’t. If the don’t (which is what our kids are told over and over again in government schools), this kind of stuff is meaningless.

Don’t talk to me about the “ethics” of stealing a mint when our culture cares not about the ethics of murdering 50 million children in the last 40 years or allowing sexual perversion to be taught as ‘diversity’ to kids as young as 5. Opening an unpaid-for pack of Tic Tacks is the least of our worries.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Hey Been There — that is so smart — a great way to handle — I will use this solution if that ever happens again — very, very smart!

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Hey Been There — that is so smart — a great way to handle — I will use this solution if that ever happens again — very, very smart!

By Katie

June 4, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

2.)

As a parent of 2 medically fragile children with compromised immune systems that pick up almost every virus that is out there, I am a little bit disheartened to hear about how lightly you are taking leaving feces like that in a shopping cart without notifying the store.

E-coli and the rota virus can kill small children or at the very least land them in the hospital for extended periods of time.

This is why we cannot take out kids to the store and have the luxury of putting them in a shopping cart. I really wish other parents and even grocery stores would be a bit more thoughtful about shopping cart safety.

Do not even get me started on the lack of usable straps on shopping carts. That should be a topic unto itself.

By JJ

June 4, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

Katie There is a “blanket” type thing that I see numerous moms put in the grocery cart with their kids. I’m not sure what it’s called, but it’s almost like a blanket you put into the seat of the cart, and the child cannot even get to the handle bars because they are covered with this thing.

I myself use the lysol wipes they have at most grocery stores, at the front, to wipe germs off the cart handles.

I am becoming such a germ-o-phobe, especially at the grocery store, and more so at the gas station. I have no idea who’s hands have been where before they touch the gas pump, etc. I don’t even touch the rails on stairs or escalators in public places.

And as always, wash you hands, wash your hands. I even keep hand sanitizer in my car and purse.

By River Rat

June 4, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

It’s difficult for me to imagine you discussing ethics so soon after reading of your total disregard of the water restrictions. What message do you send to your children when you demonstrate that the rules don’t apply to you or them. I believe that you should leave the discussion of ethics to someone more qualified. My question to you would be what difference would it make if your six year old child saw or didn’t see the breast pads, what are breast pads anyway? I raised my children to believe that there are no ethical dilimmas,you always do what you believe is the right thing to do, and to live by golden rule. To do unto others as you would have them unto you, it’s really quite simple.

By InTownGal

June 4, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

This only solidifies my decision not to have children…GEEZ. :)

By Katie

June 4, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

JJ,

We use the blankets for the car seats. However, the wipes do not work. The few times I have had to go to the grocery store with the kids, I have had to literally bring a small spray bottle with diluted bleach and water and wash the cart myself.

Also, there is the issue of airborne illnesses. If there are people with colds and other air born, contagious illnesses, who go into a grocery store, they will pick up said germs. And the problem is with my son, a bad cold will land him in the hospital with pneumonia. He is only 1, so right now getting him to wear a mask is next to impossible.

It is not just about parent ethics. People do not realize that when they go out into public places with contagious illnesses that they put other people at risk for getting seriously ill.

By Jeff (different one :P)

June 4, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

OK, Ethics:

TicTacs: I like Teresa’s solution. Good job!

diarrhea: Clean as best you can, let store know, as has been suggested.

pool (pee): As has been said, NOT a big deal.

pool (poop): MUCH bigger deal! EEWWWW!!! Make the PERSON RESPSONSIBLE - no matter if they are 5 or 55 - clean it.

Racist comments: My fiancee and I would have two different solutions. I personally would make an example of the idiot, chewing him up one side and down the other, and getting physical if I thought he needed it. I would make sure my kids know that I would do the exact same to them if I heard the comment from them, and that I EXPECT them to do the same when they hear it from someone their age or younger. (or size for the bigger ones)

Pads: No matter the inconvenience, you take the kids back into the store and leave them or pay for them, whichever you decide to do. Anything less is stealing. It also provides a good example to the kiddos of doing the right thing, no matter what.

Extra comment: All these people concerned about “sanitary” conditions: While there is something to be said about avoiding OBVIOUS marks/ puddles/ etc, there is also much more to be said about not being paranoid about it. You wonder why your kids are allergic to everything? Its because their immune systems were not allowed to learn how to handle things at an early age. For example: Kid eats dirt. Many of you would make him spit it out and wash his mouth out. Not me. I’m gonna let him eat as much as he wants. Eventually he will either get physically sick and it will come back out or he will simply get tired of it and his poop will be a little extra brown. Either way, it ain’t gonna do permanent damage, and MORE damage will probably be done by the parent freaking out about it.

By eemoms.com blapher

June 4, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this

Great post and good stuff to think about!

I have a brand new baby, so I haven’t been put in these particular situations yet. When I do get to experience them, I hope to be as honest as possible and clean up after my baby.

-the [eeMOMS.com] blapher

By DB

June 4, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Jeff:

If you don’t stop your child from eating dirt, when will s/he learn that eating dirt is a no-no? There are ways of stopping a child from doing anything that don’t involve hysteria. You think it’s no big deal to eat dirt? OK, let’s see how cute you think it is to treat a child with giardia (and the accompanying diarrhea). Or pinworms or roundworms. Or pet urine. Or bird droppings … you get my drift. A firm, “No, no, that’s yucky” and a distraction is all most kids need.

Please get a child — and a clue — before you start making sweeping recommendations to the rest of us who are the in the position of making snap decisions every moment of every day with children. Yep, it’s true — not all of the decisions are the best. All of us parents were similarly superior about child raising BK (before kids). Most of us are a lot more humble and forgiving about parenting techniques AK (after kids), as all of us have done really stupid things in the process of learning how to parent. We learn, we grow, our kids learn, they grow — eventually, if we don’t kill each other, we survive :-).

By JJ

June 4, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

Jeff (different one :P)

The sanitary concerns are about me taking precautions NOT to get sick. Especially at the grocery store, gas station and common places, such as the Mall. I have no idea who used the gas nozzle before me, so I use hand sanitizer after I have pumped my gas. The same goes for grocery cart handles. I have no idea if a sick germy kid had his mouth all over it, therefore I use the wipes the store provides and wipe down the handle.

I work with two guys who do not wash their hands all day, nor bathe every single day. One of them sneezed all over the coffee area at work, without covering his mouth, then proceeded to stick a finger in his ear, then grab the spoon to the sugar bowl with that same finger. It just grosses me out. I Lysol the entire office down every single day, because of the inconsiderate, dirty people.

It’s selfish, yes, but I do not like to be sick, nor does my child. Because I take these extra steps, neither one of us has been sick in over 5 years. I also carry hand sanitizer in my car (for the gas pump) and in my purse, for shopping.

Don’t get me started on pulic bathroom facilities.

By banana

June 4, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

Why would you let your child eat a banana in a store? That’s stealing, plain and simple.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

hey banana — read —- I always pay for the bananas — every single one of them

By larissa

June 4, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

Why are you taking 3 children, one of them an infant to a grocery store.

IS there no babysitter or father to take care of them while you shop.

By Jones

June 4, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

OK, with regard to eating a banana….

Publix gives cookies to kids of all ages (my 16 year old still gets one). A very small child will not know the difference between being GIVEN a cookie but not a banana. Under the age of 5, they don’t understand purchasing. All they know is someone handed them a cookie, why can’t they have a banana too in the store?
I’m not saying that its wrong or right, but what a child sees. He doesn’t know/understand that some things are free at the store, but some things have to be paid for…….

By The Book

June 4, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

JJ - please take note that hand sanitizers do not work. Study after study has been done and all they do is rub the bacteria around on your hand. Washing with warm soapy water and RINSING your hands is the only way to truly clean them. Please especially don’t rely on these products before you eat. If you’re a germaphobe, get rid of the germs and bacteria properly. Hand sanitizers are a complete rip-off, and they rob your hands of precious moisture, thus lessening the bacteria fighting properties of your skin. It acts as a barrier between the germs and your innards. Dry, cracked skin allows germs and bacteria in your body.

Germs 101 class is now over.

Theresa - feed the kids before you go shopping and stop letting them graze.

By banana

June 4, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

Therea, Not to be argumentative, but bananas are sold by weight. If your child eats one or two, the bunch weighs less than what you’ve actually received. The scales in most stores are automatic, so the cashier can only charge you for what the bunch weighs at the checkout — not what it weighed before your child ate a couple.

So how do you pay “every single” banana?

By JJ

June 4, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

larissa

What is wrong with taking YOUR OWN children to a store. Why the need for a babysitter just to run to the store?

By Jeff (different one :P)

June 4, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

JJ:

Eh, I’ll leave it to “different strokes for different folks”, fair enough?

I personally have been pretty dang hard on this body - never crazy enough to do anything to get a broken bone, but suffice it to say my immune system could probably conquer Ebola…

There ain’t too much that I won’t put my hands on, and most of those things that I wouldn’t are obvious body fluids/ excrement (I’m talking actual puddle level, not the supposed “germs”.) and sharp things (not a fan of getting cut… immune system can handle it well, but I don’t heal that fast - hence my caution when it comes to possible bone-shattering events!).

I’ll give you a typical example for me: I used to work at Publix. Management told me to wear gloves when using the cleaning chemicals/ taking out the trash, etc. I refused. It is HARD to find plastic/ rubber gloves that fit my hand comfortably - my middle finger is longer than my palm, which is evidently NOT normal. So I would clean with nothing between me and WHATEVER but a couple of layers of paper towel and the appropriate chemical for the surface. Same thing when I worked in a convenience store. Don’t even get me started about how few precautions I took while doing the wilderness camp. (Hint: The ONLY time we washed our hands was during our daily showers and right before meal time. Otherwise, we MAY rinse them off, but that was as sanitary as it got!)

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

banana — that’s not how they do they do it — they key in bananas and then they key in the weight — they can physcially type things in and not use the scanner — that is why i tell them

By JJ

June 4, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

By Jeff (different one :P) Ok, you got it, different strokes,,,,,,

With the influx of foreigners in our country, some of who aren’t the cleanest people, there is a whole new can of worms. I just like to take precautions.

Another thing that totally grosses me out, are the condiments on the tables at restaurants. I know for a fact that some of these places do not clean the condiment bottles every day. For instance, at my local CiCi’s the parmeasean cheese dispenser at the table is filthy and I can tell it has not been cleaned in a day or two. I wrap a napkin around it, because just by looking at it, it isn’t clean, and I don’t want someone else’s nasty germs……the same holds true for the sauces at Sonny’s BBQ. Just think about the person who sat at the table before you, and grabbed the BBQ sauce, without wiping their hands, after they had been all in their mouths…….EEEWWW

I’m starting to feel like Howard Hughes. HA ha ha ….

By The Book

June 4, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Jeff (different one) I’m with you, to a degree. Parents are so concerned nowdays over their kids getting the sniffles, they take over-the-top precautions to keep them sanitized. When I was a kid, we ate candies right off the mudpies and put things in our mouths that I wouldn’t even consider as an adult. I am happy to report that I have an ironclad constitution now and can’t even remember the last time I was sick with a cold or the flu (four or five years probably). If kids don’t get sick, what happens to their immune system? It ceases to work properly.

I’m going to draw the line at kids eating handfuls of dirt (dogs maybe, kids no). Because of icky things like pinworms and other intestinal yucks, I would stop him/her from doing that.

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

bananas — I feel like I over-reacted to your question — I apologize for my mean tone —

By IMO

June 4, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

JJ, if you don’t chill out your going to give yourself a stroke & that’s a lot worse than any germ you could ever pick up.

By Cherish

June 4, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

I think a lot of you are being very hypocritical about Theresa and her parenting skills. Are you all telling me that you’ve NEVER made a mistake with your kids? She’s human. Lighten up on her, will you?

And about the diarrhea in the cart…did you all not read her blog? Her friend DID clean out the cart, and disenfected it. Maybe she should of told a mgr, but that goes back to…WE ALL HAVE MADE MISTAKES!!!!!

By zmama

June 4, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Took my 2-year-old son to a children’s bookstore this weekend. I wasn’t paying attention and before I knew it, he’d ripped a some pages from a book. I considered just tucking them back in and leaving, but I decided it’s never too early to set a good example for your kids so I paid for the damage. Of course, it’s easy to be ethical when it’s only $4.

By me

June 4, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

I’ve got news for you, your kid has pee’d in the pool…we all have….every last one of us has pee’d in the pool…don’t even try to deny it…it’s built into our DNA…we hit water, we pee…end of story…

By Jen

June 4, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

One thing to mention about ethical parenting….let’s say that we’re all human and that we don’t always do what’s right 100% of the time. Just imagine it for all you perfect people on this blog.

OK, got the visual? OK, so you do something unethical or immoral or amoral in front of your child. You feel bad about it or regret it immediately, like us imperfect humans sometimes do. One strategy is to reparate. If that’s a word, even. You can discuss with your child that you made a bad decision and how that might adversely affect someone. And how now you feel real bad and have to live with not being such a great person. You can then take steps to correct the problem…bring the item back to the store, with your child, and go to the manager to apologize. Tell them, I know I should have come back in right away but I was (1) being harrassed by my kids and felt overwhelmed, or (2) didn’t notice, or (3) didn’t want to but then I felt bad, or (4) too lazy…

Sometimes when I discipline my son I go overboard. We all do it so watch your glass walls if you respond to this. I am not talking about a beating or anything like that. You know what I mean… Anyway, I have no problem going to my son and saying, “You know what? I know what you did was wrong but I shouldn’t have done such and such. I should have just done this and that. I was angry and I made a bad decision. You’re still punished but it’s like this and that.” But in real-people language.

My mom could never do that. She felt like she HAD to stick by whatever gun she held, even if she was clearly wrong. For her it was always about control…

By Fulton County Mom

June 4, 2007 5:08 PM | Link to this

Theresa knows she is going to get a lot of opinions….and she should not take them ALL personally.

The question of was ethics…and as someone pointed out unless there is a basic foundation of right vs. wrong then ethics cannot be ‘grounded’. (def of ethics: A set of principles of right conduct,the rules of conduct recognized in respect to a particular class of human actions or a particular group, culture, etc (dictionary.com)).

I do not think anyone here thinks that Theresa doesn’t know right from wrong…As for those ‘slamming’ comments, they tended to be on 1-letting the child eat the candy or 2-not paying for the pads.

As to 1-she paid for it…so nothing ethically wrong there. As a parent she made a decision to let the kid eat it….her kid her choice…to tell her she is wrong would so Laura Mallory! I felt that she was asking us what would we do in that situation…and I told her, and some people here agreed with me, others probably felt it was harsh to toss the candy (although I will say that I did just that when it happened). I do not think Theresa felt that was ‘slamming’ her.

As to 2-Maybe she was frazzled. Maybe she did do wrong (and if she did not pay for them I already stated it is stealing)…however, I did see that there were alternatives presented to Theresa that she may not have thought of. I also saw that she acknowledge them, and believe that she will make a better choice in the future…who ever said only the kids have to learn?

In my belief system there was only one perfect person—Theresa, you were not that person ;o)

By Theresa

June 4, 2007 5:21 PM | Link to this

Everybody Let’s REVIEW — I did NOT take the pads — the pads were returned to the store as per the last paragraph — I threw that back into the store because I couldn’t find an employee — I’m not saying this was a graceful solution but they were returned — I would NEVER have left the parking lot with the pads — that is stealing - I completely agree and I returned the pads!!!!! People can disagree wtih me all they want — that’s totally fine — but they need to at least get the facts straight — I’m frazzled by folks not reading well — I’ll take any hits for anything I did but I’m not getting my chops busted for something I did NOT do — I did NOT take the pads!!

By Mommee

June 4, 2007 7:35 PM | Link to this

About the breast pads, I had a similar situation where I realized that when I got to the car I had not paid for 2 toothbrushes and some toothpaste. I had a screaming 2 year old and a starving baby. I did not go back into the store. I just had to figure that being over charged in the future would make up the difference. I’m not dishonest, I just didn’t see how I could go back in with the mess I had on my hands!!

By Katie

June 5, 2007 6:32 AM | Link to this

I am so over reading this blog. Theresa, you and your friends are out of touch and lead sheltered, pampered lives.

You do not even see how your actions can be harmful to other people. It is really sad and indicitave of how people no longer care about each other or doing the right thing anymore.

This blog should not even be in the health section. It should be in living. There is nothing even medical about this blog.

There are a plethora of health related topics you could post about and not have to recycle ideas. Examples are immunizations, autism, child safety (car seats, baby proofing, ect), food intollerances and allergies, coping with poor air quality with young children, developmental delays and early intervention, nutrition, and other things realted to HEALTH for kids and parenting.

By Together for 12

June 5, 2007 7:44 AM | Link to this

Isn’t there some way you can block Casey’s inane posts, Theresa? I think we’re all pretty tired of his pointless and inflamatory drivel.

By Casey

June 5, 2007 7:53 AM | Link to this

Hey Together for 12 - at least I do bring up quality points (you may not agree with them, but I do make points). What contribution have you made on here? Just saying to block someone else’s first amendment right? What have you done to help the topic?

Yeah, nothing.

By the way, Cherish (your 3:35 post) - you basically stated that Theresa made a mistake and we should get over it. That’s the problem - she doesn’t think she made a mistake!

By nurse&mother

June 5, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

What a great idea to call the store and let them meet you at the car!

As for letting children eat while in the grocery store- My mom lets my children grab a drink or eat Goldfish while shopping if the 16 mo old gets rowdy (only happened a couple of times). I personally find this a little embarrassing. Although I don’t allow this, it is not stealing if you pay for it! It would be stealing if you consumed the items and then threw it away without paying!

I would like to know why some posters are so angry. It is ok to disagree, but why do some feel the need to name call and put others down. I think it shows how some are immature or have some deep seeded anger. I certainly don’t agree with everything Theresa does, but I am not ugly about it.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this

NurseandMother…..I am guessing that the ones who get so incredibly irate over this blog’s topics are the very ones who sit at home day in and day out with nothing at all to do. It seems they get a perverse pleasure out of stirring the pot. But ya know what?….its entertaining, in an odd kind of way. Off to a meeting! Have a great day guys.

By nurse&mother

June 5, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s girl-I suppose you’re right.

By Bobby

June 5, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Breast Pads - If it’s a store that you go to alot, then just return/pay for them on you next visit.

By The Book

June 5, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

mommee you stole, plain and simple. What kind of message does that send to your kids? Oh, and from the rest of us - thank you so very much for contributing to higher prices at the stores.

Theresa think maybe it’s time for a blog break? You seem a tad worked up over a stupid blog. Your readers will read anything they want into your tripe. The only reason I stay here is to see what makes “city moms” act the way they do. (Forgot who said it but that was a great term for them.)

As for the poster who suggested (and those who liked the idea) calling the store from your car/van and having an employee come out to retrieve the merchandise you forgot to pay for…WTF? Does the entire world revolved around you and your children? Get off your fat rump, gather your brood, and get inside the store and either pay for the item or leave it with an employee. Calling the store to have someone stop what they’re doing and come out to the parking lot to grant your wish is just about the laziest, rudest, most self-centered thing I’ve ever heard of.

By nurse&mother

June 5, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

The book- I only thought that calling the store sounded like a good idea if the baby was squalling his/her head off. As the mother of a baby who screams at the top of his lungs when he cries, I get lots of stares if he cries in public. When he does this in public, I try to get out as quickly as possible so that we are not annoying others. I certainly wouldn’t use that just for the convenience. I’m not sure if/when I would use that method, but it is good to know. Also, it may be lazy and self-centered, but it is better than stealing:)

By The Book

June 5, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

nurse&mother you got me there. I guess calling the store would be better than stealing. But it would still be a LOT better if she’d just go in the store like the rest of us peons.

And from someone with extremely sensitive hearing…thank you for limiting the screamers time in public. I’m amazed at the number of people that sit in restaurants and raise their voices to hear one another over their squalling kid. I sat and watched a couple in Ruby Tuesday’s get asked to leave by management for a screaming youngun. They actually had the audacity to look suprised/offended.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Would all the PERFECT parents/people please leave this Blog and start your onw Holier-Than-Thou blog.

You could call it “I have nothing better to do than make nasty comment about other people’s parenting skills, on a MOM blog, because I am perfect”

Thank you and Good Bye……

By Jeff

June 5, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

I’ll never forget that I was pleasantly surprised on my last flight (a 5 hr back home from PHX):

It was a 767 or so (8 seats and two ailes wide, 2 against one window, 4 in the middle, 2 against the other window), and I was at the window seat on one side. After I sat down, the people who would sit in the middle 4 seats came in: a young couple, an older couple (both couples obviously related) and 2 small kids, small enough to qualify for the “in-lap” exception.

When I saw the two kids, I immediately started dreading what until that point I had thought would be a fairly decent ride home.

HOWEVER, for the next five hours, those kids could barely be heard. Yes, they were all over the place - generally within the seating area of the parents and grandparents, but occassionally had to be walked - but they were quiet, and that is really all I ask for. (Though I do keep a cd player with fresh batteries with me at ALL times when I’m flying for just such an emergency, and because I’m generally not overly chatty while flying.)

Anyways, long story short: To those parents that do their best to keep their kids decently quiet in public - re: not screaming - and leave if they cannot get the kid quiet quickly: A heart felt THANK YOU. To those that do not: A heart felt: Please do not be in the same places I am, because I WILL complain to management - including threatening management with my discontinued patronage if the issue isn’t resolved.

By nurse&mother

June 5, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

I would avoid flying with the little one like the plague unless it were an urgent matter (funeral, only reasonable way to get to destination etc). If we are in a restaurant and he gets cranked up, my husband and I (or grandparents) take turns stepping out with him until he quiets down.

We are trying to teach my son not to scream, but he does not have a good vocabulary. It must be the only way he knows to communicate. I might should have tried to teach him some sign language:) He is about to be at the age that we can give him a swat on the fanny for the tantrums. He is extremely strong willed. It is not so easy sometimes.

Funny, many people (myself included) would have said it is all how you parent your children. My daughter was not like my son. (same two parents, same parenting style) We have cousins that make a difference in their son versus their daughters. They always say, “he’s all boy”. I never believed that until I had a son of my own. Although in their case, they clearly let their boy get away with a lot more things than their girls, there is certainly some truth to the addage that boys are wired a little different than girls.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

In regards to flying with young children….should parents of children having a rough time simply drug them? Perhaps thwop them upside the head or run to the bathroom for a quick smack? Children should not be expected to behave like adults..they are kids and will behave as such from time to time. Sometimes there is simply nothing that can be done about a cranky child. I flew from Atlanta to San Diego when The Boy was 18 months. At one point he just lost it…total melt down. I tried bribery, candy, you name it. But for about an hour and a half, there was just nothing to be done. I spent as much time as I could in the bathroom with him….but eventually people had to pee. There was one insipid twit that continued to complain, very loudly. He was going on and on about how he would never fly Delta again and that he didn’t think it was right for a child to be in first class. I explained to him that my money was just as good as his and that whether he liked it or not, my son and I had every right to be there. He then said that I should let him spank him. Well….that did it. Security met him at the gate. Something about threatening the well being of a minor. A little kindness and understanding can go a long way:)

99% of parents are doing the very best they can at any given moment. Screw ups happen. When they do..more understanding and less judgement might be in order.

By catlady

June 5, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Nurse and Mother: Except with twins,you are NEVER the same with one child than you are with another. Never. You are older, less or more tired, less or more worried about something. So saying, children have different personalities (even twins) that interact with the different you. At least that is my take on things.

On this topic, I think there are two groups of parents: those who see only the immediate picture, and those who see the long-term. Short-term, the decisions you make just get you through the day. It seems to me that folks need to be aware of what the long-term effects of what you are doing. What are you teaching that child (assuming it is a sentient person, however young, and not a potted plant you are hauling around? (No slam intended toward potted plants) Does the child learn that screaming gets what they want? That pitching a fit causes mom leave and do a child-preferred activity? IMHO, if parents asked more questions of themselves about what they are teaching long-term, things would be better off, at least for us teachers. Please don’t discount your small children and babies. You are teaching them every minute they are awake. Ask yourself what message you are giving. That answers many of the “ethical” questions posed on this blog. Think ahead, plan ahead, and remember the child will be living in the world for the long-term and the world won’t love and forgive him like you do, so GET REAL!

Situation: you are going grocery shopping. For goodness sake, take a baggie of non-messy food along if you think hunger will strike toddlers. Time your trip so the baby nurses beforehand. Don’t wait to pull the baggie out when the screams start—that rewards the screams. Do not allow your child to graze the food until after you pay for it. That is stealing. Think what you are teaching: We prepare for our needs, OR we take what we want and justify it because we are (young, black, poor, male, you fill in the blank) and it is only a little bit we are taking and beside this store rips people off every day. Long term, which is better?

On the peeing beside the pool: We can teach that “you are little (big, white, have a headache, fill in the blank) and so you can’t help making a mess” OR you can teach “Oops! We have to take responsibility and clean up what we did.” Long-term, which is better?

As a teacher, I see a lot of people who don’t look to the future, and then express surprise, shock, and disappointment when their child “learns” the behavior and applies it for his (dis)advantage.

By The Book

June 5, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl you had me there for a while and then you stated that 99% of parents are doing the very best they can. Sorry, I don’t see it. The crime and gang problems are at an all-time high. Kids are killing themselves in mom and dad’s expensive import at a higher rate than ever before. And the current increase in designer drugs is alarming. No, 99% of parents are NOT doing the best they can. The are doing whatever they can to get by. They want to be their kids friends, not their parents. They want to give their kids everything under the sun without wondering what it might do to them when they get older. This “entitlement” generation is one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the ever-increasing obesity rate and diabetes in young children. It’s easier to haul the brood to McDonald’s or order Domino’s rather than putting a little thought into preparing a nutritious meal for the family. Both parents are working full-time so they can buy bigger houses or pricey imports to put in the driveway. They give their kids every single techno-gadget available and expect them to occupy themselves.

Nope, gotta disagree…most parents are taking the easy way out and biding their time until the kids get out of the house. That’s not raising a family. That’s putting up with one.

By catlady

June 5, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this

An 18 month old should be drugged (heavily) before starting the trip. While your money was as good as the other flyers’, they got the “extra bonus” of the entertainment you and your son provided. They didn’t pay for that, either. You should be prepared when traveling with such a small child!

IMHO, in restaurants and on planes there should be a “childen’s section”, soundproofed so that the other folks, who are also paying good money, should not have to put up with events such as this. My (now adult) children and I, when we fly or eat out, ask to be moved if we see young children come in. Our experiences with parents’ lack of planning and willingness to inconvenience us all tell us that about 75% of the time, the child’s development is not adequate for the burden about to be put on him (sitting still, being quiet, etc.) In the restaurant you can leave (and I have after explaning to the manager) but on a plane you are stuck for hours. There is nothing wrong with sedating a child (or pet) to make the trip less difficult for all.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

Catlady If kids in restaurants bother you that much, Stay at home. Thank you!

To the others: Not all parents are “putting up” with their kids. Not this parent. My child is not my friend, she has plenty of those, and so do I. She is my child, my responsiblity, and I will take care of her the best that I can. You have a problem with that? Well THAT is not MY problem.
So I should drug my kid now when I fly, because her behavior MIGHT upset SOMEONE. Sorry, but I paid for that plane ticket, just as much as you did. How was I to know when I booked the flight, that SOMEONE, a child hater, was going to be on that plane. Silly me, not thinking of strangers, but of myself and my child instead.

You people without kids, think you know everything. Try raising ONE (and let me tell you how much fun it is to do it by yourself), then come talk to us about how to raise OUR kids.

It was my choice to have children, and your choice not to. I respect your choice, why can’t you respect mine?

And if you think its easy to raise children, you are sadly mistaken. You never know when one is going into “Meltdown”. The best we can do is prepare, but again, like the weather, nothing is guaranteed.

Most parents I know are flying by the seat of their pants. There isn’t a manual for raising kids, you learn as you go along, we learn by our mistakes, and from friends, and somtimes, from our own parents.

I am sick and tired of people hiding behind their computer monitors, and judging others. You are not GOD, nor are you any better than me, so quit acting like you are!!!

By what the heck

June 5, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

Catlady, You are absolutely right. Where are the rights of others who don’t have kids with them? If the man had been screaming for an hour and a half, would Jessie’s girl think that was alright since he had paid his money, and had just as much right as anybody else to be there? If the man paid for first class, and got a screaming kid (for hours yet), then that was not fair to him. But I know, I know, everyone should just put up with other people’s little darlings.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

Sorry catlady….drugging for traveling is strictly for pets. As stated before, the world does not revolve around us parents and our children. It also most certainly does not revolve around those who do not have them. Crap happens. Sometimes we have to put up with with the demonic behavior of childless people. Again, a little kindness and understanding goes a long, long way.

By CJP

June 5, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

To all of you who don’t have kids: I wish your parents’ had not either.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

Send us parents a post card from your perfect world, won’t you? No one is saying that children should be allowed to run amok. In my situation I did the very best I could. The real problem arose when that “gentlemen” threatened my child. Not gonna happen. He pitched a bigger fit than anything my son dished out that day.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 1:46 PM | Link to this

Oh and incidently Whattheheck…..no I would absolutely not think he had a right to behave so childishly. I don’t care if he paid for the last trip on the Concord. He is the adult, not the 18 month old.

By what the heck

June 5, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

What makes everbody think that people with negative comments don’t have kids? Maybe they just don’t have out of control kids. I do have kids, and I think it is ridiculous that most kids are allowed to act the way they do. So please quit saying “those of you who don’t have kids”. Complaining about other people’s kids doesn’t mean you don’t have any.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

what the heck You are comparing apples to oranges. One situation is a very small child, the other is (and I use the term loosly) AN ADULT.

Instead of pitching a fit when a child is cranky and you don’t want it to upset your perfect world, try and little understanding, and tenderness, you don’t know the situation. When I see someone having a difficult time with their kids, instead of complaining to management, I ask if I may offer any assistance to the struggling parent. I try to be kind to others who may be in my position, since I have a little understanding as to what they MAY be going through.

But, once again, people without kids seem to be experts on raising them. Like I said before, give it a try, it ain’t easy, then let me know, in 18 years, how successful you were.

By what the heck

June 5, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

JJ, Once again people who don’t like unruly kids are necessarily childless. People who do have a handle on how to handle kids just don’t understand people who don’t or don’t care.

By The Book

June 5, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

JJ didn’t you say good-bye earlier? Just because you have no clue as to how to raise kids (do you even have any?) doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. And here’s another fly in your ointment: maybe if you asked some of the ones who have finished with their raising for some tips on quieting kids or parenting, you just might get a clue, or two.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

what the heck You are correct, and I actually agree with you.

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

Are you seriously saying that my airplane incident happened because I had no “handle” on my son? Your attitude is audacious…to say nothing of self righteous. You guys have a blessed day. I am off to take my children to a movie! Oh yeah…I said it. Breathe into the brown bag.

By nurse&mother

June 5, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

Catlady, I’m not sure exactly what you are saying to me. Are you insinuating that I am treating my son differently and this is why he is a screamer? Or were you just merely saying that oh, btw, there are different factors that make it impossible to be the exact same parent with each child?

My son came out of the womb different from my daughter. I will agree with you that there are a few things that may be different than with the first. I am not as uptight as I was with the first. That said, my discipline style has NOT changed. My husband and I do not condone whining. We are in the process of trying to teach him not to do that. This does not happen overnight. From the get go my son had periods where he screamed his head off starting at just a few weeks of age. We tried everything to get him to stop, but we were unsuccessful. He still to this day wakes up in the morning and after naps screaming and nothing consoles him. (not milk, food, or even holding).

My daughter did not do this. I don’t think this has anything to do with parenting style, so if that was the assumption, I think it is invalid. I am open to suggestions that might remedy my predicament.

As a nurse, I will have to say that the premise that “drugging” you child will help him/her sleep is not always true. FYI, medications such as Benadryl and cough meds may have the opposite affect on a child. I have seen this with my own eyes.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl Have a great time…. it’s a great day to go to a movie. I wish I could go with you!!!!

Enjoy!!!!!! (I hope everyone has a kid with them, so no one gets upset that you brought your kids to the theater).

Let us know your experience tomorrow.

By abc

June 5, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

The guy on the plane said you should let him spank him, and you portrayed that as a threat, leading to security meeting him at the gate? Vindictive much?! There must be more to it than that. That sounds crazy.

By JJ

June 5, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

abc I don’t think she was being “vindictive” when someone threathened to strike her child. I don’t know if I agree with calling security, but if ANYONE threathens my kid, they better be very, very careful. I don’t that threats lightly, especially directed towards MY child in my presence.

By HB

June 5, 2007 3:11 PM | Link to this

For me, it takes a good 16 hours for a half-dose of OTC Benedryl to wear off — I feel like I’m in a fog and just generally miserable. Unless I had reason to believe that my child would be more miserable without it (severe ear pain or whatever), I absolutely would NOT drug him and think it’s unreasonable for other travelers to expect parents to do so. Parents should discipline their kids for acting up (nothing ticks me off as much as having a 5-yr-old kicking the back of my seat with parents saying nothing), but let’s face it, very young kids/babies sometimes have unexpected meltdowns and are inconsolable. For those that rarely travel, the new situation may make a meltdown more likely.

So what should adult passengers do? Get over it. It’s part of living in society. Occasionally, you may have to sit next to a too-loud person on a cell phone in a restaurant, ride a crowded MARTA train stuck next to a smelly guy who just left the gym, or hear a kid scream for a while. Parents don’t like their babies to scream anymore than you do, but sometimes it’s just going to happen. I’m always amazed by comments like, “time your trip so the baby nurses beforehand” to keep kids from crying at the grocery store. Do you really think that moms don’t think of that? Babies’ schedules change as they grow, errands get delayed due to other events of the day, etc. Stuff happens. Do you really think if Mom gets stuck in a traffic jam and can’t hit the store on schedule that she should just skip it? “Sorry kids, no dinner tonight. I would have gone to the store, but we were running half an hour behind, and I was afraid the baby might start crying halfway through shopping, so I skipped it altogether.” Talk about judgemental…

By abc

June 5, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

From her account of the story, he didn’t threaten anyone. He suggested that he’d more effectively discipline her child than she was. Out of line for sure, what a clod; but bringing security in is ridiculous, unless there’s more to the story than related.

By DB

June 5, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

The Book, you have to be careful about throwing around statistics. You claim that Kids are killing themselves in mom and dad’s expensive import at a higher rate than ever before. The statistics on this are actually much more positive, when one trends the stats, especially over a 10 year period from 1993 to 2003. In 1993, there were a approximate 67,000 registered drivers age 16. In 2003, the number had risen sharply over ten years to 83,000. However, the number of accidents per percent of the licensed population has actually decreased, primarily due to Georgia’s teen driving laws. There may be a slight increase in the raw number of stupid drivers, but as a percent of the total driving population, the population itself seems to have gotten a little smarter.

It would be interesting to see, from an actuarial standpoint, what kids were driving when they did have a reported accident. (Keep in mind that many accidents go unreported for insurance purposes.) But as far as making a value judgement as to whether they are driving an American-made car or an import …? Or were you just sniping at the cost of the car?

As an aside, parenting a teenager is a very different kettle of fish from parenting a toddler or elementary school age child. I could be wrong, but it appears that the majority of Theresa’s blogs tend to deal with the younger set — it would be nice to mix it up a bit and include some issues that parents of teenagers have to deal with. If nothing else, it would give those of you with younger kids an insight into what you have to look foward to … :-)

By JJ

June 5, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

HB very nicely put…..

DB OMG - I have a teenager….and you absolutely right about parenting a teenager. I know there is a comedian out there who said this - I don’t know who - but he hit it on the nail….may have been Bill Invall -

“On the eve of my daughter’s 16th birthday, I put my most beautiful, respectful 15 year old daughter to bed, and when she woke up the following day as a 16 year old, I have no idea who this child is….”

It happened to me. I now have a 16 year old girl, and I have no idea who she is anymore. The once vibrant, mommy loving girl, now replys to questions with one syllable or a grunt. I have learned to be creative in my question asking, in order to receive at least a sentence for a reply, and not a grunt or nod of the head.

By catlady

June 5, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

To all who think I was off base about the airplane trip: Yes, I have raised 3 children. I have done a lot of staying home from restaurants until each child had the maturity to behave appropriately, since I rarely invested in a sitter. When surprised by a problem, I took the child outside while my husband ate. Yeah, it was a drag, but they are MY children. I was responsible for their care, entertainment, and behavior, not the other patrons.

There is a medicine which I took as a child due to carsickness that knocked me out. I know it is still available. It is not benadryl. Your child’s doctor can advise you. If I had to fly with a very small child, I would not expect others to enjoy her the way I do, and if she had ever suffered from “meltdowns” (my kids each had one) I would not take her on the plane without sedating her (and me too, if I could get by with it). Or we would not go.

Nurse and mom: I was not saying you intentionally would treat your children differently. I am just saying that you, your husband, and other children are different from one year to the next and your children are different from each other from conception. Put those two differences together and you have varying responses from both you and your child. Your first child/second child illustration is apt. Things that used to worry me about my first child had no impact on me when the 3rd one arrived 9 years later. Call it perspective, or different personalities or adaptation. I handled the same problem different ways with each child.

Re: grocery shopping and the baby. Aw, come on! You can nurse the baby in the car or in the nursing room if the store has one, or out in public if you prefer. Or you could go home and get everyone happy, then venture out again. Most folks don’t have to drive 30 miles to get to a grocery store! Or wait till Dad gets home. Or go to your plan b emergency dinner plan. Just quit making excuses for not planning or being willing to be flexible or inconvenience yourself.

Everyone feels sympathy initially when a baby or toddler starts to fuss. It is what happens after that that can determine other folks’ reactions. If the parent has planned ahead, there is probably going to be a happy accomodation to the child’s needs. However, you don’t just “happen” to be on an airplane with other tired adults who cannot escape. You got on the plane by planning your trip, and you need to plan for your child as well.

By Fulton County Mom

June 5, 2007 5:28 PM | Link to this

nurse&mom, I don’t have a boy but I have an all American Girl…she used to ‘test’ her limits with pitch when she was probably your sons’ age (estimating based on posts)….I can tell you that her Psych (yes she has one) told me this child is always going to be testing her limits and a ‘challenge’…she is ‘strong willed’. My other child (like your daughter) responds very differently….IF you think you have a ‘tester’ on your hands you might want to look at information on stong willed children (there are some good books out there).

IF he is and you would be the best judge on that I can say that I have found firm limits with immediate consequences (like you do taking him outside until he gets his ‘inside voice’) works the best….the key to realize he is a ‘tester’ (and that his ‘testing’ is not personal)and expecting things to be ‘tested’ often will help keep your sanity. As the child gets older you will direct that ‘testing’ into better paths….right now he is ‘learning’ the ground rules.

By HB

June 5, 2007 5:55 PM | Link to this

Most folks don’t have to drive 30 miles to get to a grocery store! No but when I lived in Decatur, it often took 10 to 15 minutes to go to the store just down the road. If I had done much of my shopping before baby started to fuss, then the lost trip could easily be a wasted 45 minutes to an hour of my day.

Or wait till Dad gets home. If you’re not a single parent, Dad’s never out of town on business…

Or go to your plan B emergency dinner plan. Unless due to yesterday’s unfortunate events, Plan B had to be used up last night…

Just quit making excuses for not planning or being willing to be flexible or inconvenience yourself. I just don’t see how in life anybody is going to avoid all inconveniences. Some inconveniences are worse than others. Personally, if I’m in a store, and a frazzled mom’s baby starts screaming, I’d much rather be inconvenienced by hearing the noise for a few minutes than ask her to leave not knowing what kind of inconvenience that may cause her. Odds are what she would have to do next would be tougher than me putting up with a few minutes of noise, so I’m willing to suffer this small inconvenience for a few minutes to save her what would likely be a much bigger inconvenience.

By the way, the carsickness med you took was probably Dramamine, and it can make people feel really lousy too — I know it does me. I absolutely expect parents to plan as best they can to keep kids happy on planes, but we all know that parents’ best efforts often fail. And I don’t see how skipping a plane trip is comparable to not taking kids to restaurants. Having to eat at home means giving up a small luxury. I live far from my grandparents who cannot travel, and I want them to know their great-grandchildren. I will take toys, pacifiers, books, and whatever I can think of to keep them happy, but I will not skip that trip on the off chance that one could have a meltdown.

By ethics?????/

June 5, 2007 6:19 PM | Link to this

Theresa, the law-breaking, suburban water hoarder who doesn’t care what happens to the environment - just as long as HER kids get to illegally play in the Gwinnettian kiddie pool?

Please!

A million people commented on this - and go ahead, check my IP address!

By ethics?????/

June 5, 2007 6:23 PM | Link to this

Theresa, the law-breaking, suburban water hoarder who doesn’t care what happens to the environment - just as long as HER kids get to illegally play in the Gwinnettian kiddie pool?

Please!

A million people commented on this - and go ahead, check my IP address!

By Jesse's Girl

June 5, 2007 7:48 PM | Link to this

The man on the airplane was a menace, plain and simple. He kept asking the flight attendant to “hand him that kid” so he could show me how to deal with him. He was saying…not quite shouting but definitely loud enough for all to hear….”If he were my son, I’d give him something to really cry about!” So when I informed the crew that if they didn’t do something to regain control of this tumor of a man, I would take matters into my own hands upon landing. The co-captain came to my seat and explained that security was notified and would be awaiting his arrival at the gate.

By Peachy

June 8, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

I have a 2yo who’s been a on a plane many times, so we have that pretty much conquered, but in any situation, anywhere, my rule of thumb is this: if she misbehaves or makes a scene, I am responsible for teaching her a lesson and also being a good citizen and righting the wrong.

1) Tic Tacs - I pay for them, I eat them. When she has her own allowance, she’ll pay and I’ll eat them (since she didn’t ask permission).

2) Candy sold by weight - she doesn’t ever get close enough to do that, but if she did I’d tell the clerk and offer to pay for them.

3) Bananas, grapes, and other produce sold by weight are not to be eaten until after they are paid for. Her grandfather does not follow this rule, but she has learned that what may be acceptable behavior with him may not be okay at home, and I do ask him to help me teach her.

4) Alert store personnel if my child fouls up the cart, and try to help clean up myself. Working with the public every day, I know how important it is to keep your hands clean. No sanitizers here, though. I hate that stuff.

5) We don’t go to the pool, but IF that ever happened, I’d probably wash it away as best I could. We’re toilet-training now, so it’s an interesting time at my house, almost like housetraining a dog.

6) If someone I was paying for work at my home used profanity or slurs, I’d let them know FIRMLY that if they wish to get paid, they will cease using such language. Not mean, just firm. I’d say something along the lines of, “My child repeats everything she hears and I would appreciate it if you would not say those things around my home.”

The bottom line is this: I expect others to be courteous, so I try to be courteous. I know stuff happens, so I try to be understanding. I also plan my life by her schedule, so we won’t be shopping during naptime or napping during playtime or whatever.

I must also concede that if I were actually placed in a difficult situation, I may make a mistake. I may make several. I do try to be a good parent and citizen, and I hope she will emulate me in that regard.

My biggest disdain is for parents who don’t watch or discipline their kids. At Wal-Mart, I was pushing my cart with daughter in the seat and saw a 2 or 3yo climbing out of the basket (the big part where you put groceries); if I had not turned and caught her, she probably would have seriously hurt herself. I marched up to her mother with the child in one arm and pushing my cart with the other and said loudly, “You need to hang up and pay attention. She almost fell out of your cart and hurt herself.” I put the child down, the mother looked at me and turned back to her phone call.