MOMania

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 7:49 AM | Link to this

My kids were first introduced to death when they were toddlers with the death of our various cats and dogs. We cried, talked about them going to Heaven, and had burial ceremonies with special prayers. Then my mom became ill with Lou Gehrig’s disease. Her symptoms appeared at the same time I had my third child, and she died 5 years later, which was a blessing as she was liberated from the prison her body had become. It was very hard but I focused on her happiness going to Heaven. My kids were 9, 7 and 5 when she died and having seen her suffer I think they understood that she had departed for a better place. Earlier that same year my best friend died suddenly in a small plane crash. She was a mom friend and my kids were hit as hard as I was emotionally. You never know how long you are here for, or when your friends or family might be gone before any of you are ready for it. The long term result 16 years later is that my kids and I say “I love you” every time we hang up the phone from talking with each other.

By nb

May 3, 2007 7:59 AM | Link to this

When I was little (around..guessing 2-3 years old) I went to my first funeral. It was for my great grandmother who I was very close to at the time. I actually remember stuff from it which suprised the heck out of the family. (I could tell you where the furneral place is, the color of the carpet, walls, curtains and how the room was set up exactly - and there are NO pictures from the furneral - and no one told me.) But, when I got to the furneral parlor with my grandparent and parents I walked right up to the open casket and looked at my great grandmother while standing on the kneeler. I looked at her, turned and looked around and said “Nana sleep, I sleep too…” and I laid down on the kneeler. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room after that.

The only time that death actually really upset me was when my other great grandmother died and when a close family friend’s daughter died unexpectantly (and her oldest child and her unborn child) in a auto accident when I was in high school. But those were hard for many reasons….

By Renee

May 3, 2007 8:17 AM | Link to this

I read past50mom’s comments above about explaining that cats and dogs (family pets) go to heaven as a way to sooth children. I respectfully disagree that this is a good course of action.

True, children need some soothing. However, this diminishes the concept of going to heaven (because you believe Jesus is the Son of God and gave his life for you) when the child gets older. In her posting, past50mom mentioned the children’s grandmother dying when they were 9, 7 and 5. For them to be told that she’s going to heaven, would probably elicit a response about “oh, she gets to be with Fido and Muffy.”

When a child is young, obviously they don’t understand the entire Heaven reference and qualifications, but to say any animal or person has gone there just because they died will ultimately cause a lack of understanding about God’s great gift of Heaven to us.

Not an attack, just an opinion.

By dep

May 3, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

So, Renee, should we do what my grandmother did to me when she found out my grandfather (her ex-husband) died suddenly? He died on New Year’s Eve, and we were on our way to a church service when we found out. I was sent on to the church to tell her and the pastor so they would know what was going on. When I told her, my good Christian grandmother looked me in the eye and said, “Well, he never got saved, so he won’t get to go to Heaven.”

And if you’re suggesting that animals don’t go to Heaven, then I don’t want to go to YOUR Heaven either. In my life, I’ve loved many animals more than I’ve loved most humans, and if I can’t be with them in my afterlife, it won’t be Heaven for me.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Renee, No disrespect BUT how do YOU really know what Heaven will be? Animals are God’s creatures, as precious to Him as we are, and certainly their spirits go somewhere after death. In my Heaven, all of my pets, and the birds in my woods, the fish in my pond, the butterflies, bees, and dragonflies gracing my view, snakes and bunnies in the thicket, and spiders weaving their webs on my porch, will join me and my family in the light and love of God.

Your argument is that one must choose Jesus in order to get to Heaven. That’s fine for humans, but the rest of God’s creatures don’t have that capacity or choice. God will take care of them regardless, and they will be in Heaven when we get there!

By LaDivaBoricua

May 3, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

It truly amazes me that parents reference sleep and death in the same sentence. Ex: Nana has died, she is sleeping. Don’t you think that your child will be afraid to fall asleep? It also amazes me that people reference death and Heaven, not to get religious on you, but the bible does not say that when you die you go to heaven. It says that you will die and go back to the ground from which you came. All in all, I give my child the appropriate answer found in the bible according to their ages.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 8:55 AM | Link to this

Renee, the Bible and Christian teaching is the blueprint for HUMANS to redeem themselves from original sin. The rest of God’s creatures don’t need to be “saved” because they never sinned! And despite the fact that I am Catholic, I don’t believe that the only way to Heaven is by being “saved.”. The majority of mankind is not Christian, and I believe that God will bring all of the good souls among them into Heaven.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

LaDivaBorica, upon death your body goes to the ground, but YOUR LIFE is eternal, which means that the essence of YOU, your soul, your spirit, however you name it, will live on eternally in a different form.

By Hans

May 3, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

As a kindergardener, I had to walk 3 or 4 blocks to school.(1961). There was a crossing guard at one intersection that I’ll never forget. He was probably 60 or so. All us kids loved him as he loved us. One morning as we were waiting for him to cross us, a car sped thru the intersection and ran him over right in front of us. To this day, I’ll never forget the horror. I was taken back home and told my my mother that it was his time, and that “God” wanted him back home. I remember thinking how much I hated god. I guess that’s why I’m athiest, and never believed in god since.

By TheOne

May 3, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Your argument is that one must choose Jesus in order to get to Heaven. That’s fine for humans, but the rest of God’s creatures don’t have that capacity or choice. God will take care of them regardless, and they will be in Heaven when we get there! I agree, good way to break it down!

My father passed when I was (almost) 3, so I had an early experience. My daughter had to deal with death early on too as my youngest brother died when she was 3. She was taught then that he went home to be with Jesus and the angels. Being quite intelligent, she understood that (and being involved in church), but even with that she went thru a brief period of having nighmares.

By Jennifer

May 3, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

My kids go to a church preschool so this Easter they came home talking about death, specifically Jesus’s death. For weeks after that I was asked “Mom, are you going to die?”, “Mom, is Dad going to die”, etc. I was thrown into the death discussion before I was ready but at least we have had the discussion now. About the same time, my oldest discovered her hermit crab dead in the habitat. She said her crab had gone to Heaven to be with Jesus. I didn’t argue with her about that because I figure I don’t know any more about Heaven than she does.

By des

May 3, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

My son, even at 9, was and is a private person. I comforted him as much as I could as one grandfather died (my father), but he let his cousins comfort him and he sort of resolved it himself. He wrote a note and placed it in the casket. He did this with his grandmother and other grandfather. It was a private thing, but it seemed to resolve things.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Keith, to answer your other question about all of the violence and death in the media. When my kids were little we didn’t watch the violent nightly news, and in fact I avoid it to this day, especially the local news which is mostly murder, mayhem, misery, miscreants, misadventure and muckraking. We read the paper and news magazines and talked about what was happening, but IMO kids don’t need a constant diet of reality death.

I taught my children to challenge the truth of any story they heard or read and to challenge the authority and the bias of the reporter, publication, or network, and to do their own research. the internet is wonderful today because we instantly look up other sides of an issue or “fact,” and global warming is the poster child for misinformation and oversimplification today. The nightly “news” isn’t really news but editorials or opinion pieces.

Teach your kids to see both sides, to question and think critically and skeptically. Natural disasters (acts of God) move us to mourn the loss of life but also an opportunity to explain violent weather and plate tectonics. Knowledge is power. The tsunami tragedies resulted in the development of better ocean recording buoys that can serve as early warning systems. Tornado chasers give us better data on predicting and seeking shelter ind violent thunderstorms. Wildfires in california and killing mudslides should enlighten developers and residents to stay out of the California canyons or expect a loss. Hurricane science is at a high level, and in Katrina it was the hubris and stupidity of the New Orleans mayor and the Louisiana governor that resulted in their failure to act to protect their citizens and the resulting tragedy was in their power to avoid.

Kids become fearful when they can’t understand what happened or why people had to die. Facts and analysis help them to understand, and then say your prayers for the departed. As my dad once told me, “none of us are getting out of this alive.”

By Jen

May 3, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

I had a small fishpond on my front porch. Just a tub with a pump in it, rocks on the bottom, etc. And some goldfish that my son like to sit and watch. He was about 2 or 3 at the time. One day my son and I came home from shopping and found a fish on the porch. It had leaped out of the fish pond and died. It was a bit dried up and stiff. I didn’t think much of it. I picked it up and said, “Oh, man, it died. That’s too bad.” and I tossed it into the garden.

Later that morning I was painting our fireplace mantle and my son was watching me. He asked, “Mommy, are you going to die?”

He’d asked things like this before, but with no comprehension of what it meant. So I just told him that, yes, I would die someday.

But this time he got it. I felt his hand on my back, as I was kneeling, and I froze, realizing that he was starting to panic. So, I put my brush down and turned around, put my arms around him, and told him that we all die, but most of us don’t die until we’re very, very old.

He didn’t go into a full-blown freak out but for about a year after that he’d worry off and on and my husband and I would have to pay special attention to him and make sure to maintain his confidence.

It also helps that my husband’s mother is rather young (she’s 47 but my husband is 32 - yes, unwed teenaged mother, but college educated with a nice job and my husband went on to get a PhD). He knows that if something happened to mom and dad he’d go live with Grandma.

For him, I think the main issue is being abandoned, so knowing that someone he loves will always be there to care for him keeps him from having anxiety.

By nb

May 3, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

No one said anything about sleeping and compairing it to death to me. My great grandmother just looked like she was sleeping and so I thought she was - that is why I said “Nana sleep, I sleep too”. I guess that would be the logic of a small child who didn’t know any better if not told anything about death up to that point and I didn’t and wasn’t told anything till later after we left the funeral. I still think of her and miss her but I was not scarred by the situation or frightened. I was explained that death, like birth, was part of life and that there is nothing fearful about death. And what I saw of a funeral was the celebration of a person’s life, not wallowing in the sorrow of the person’s death.

By concerned

May 3, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this

As for the post…I do not let my children watch T.V. so we are not bombarded with all the death and destruction. However, I do have a newly 7 year old that prays every night that we do not die. Death is inevitable and children should be taught not to take life for granted (like we do when we are teenagers and invincible) or to fear death.

As for the comments…I have told my kids that the animals that died (since that is all that has died in my family since my children’s birth) have gone to Heaven. Renee is right, the Bible does not state that the animals go to Heaven. All references about Heaven in the Bible relate to people. It also states that after Jesus’ death & resurrection those that can enter into Heaven are those who are saved. That means the belief into Him and the baptisim in His name. God did give all people free choice, however since the introduction of evil He has required a blood sacrifice for the sin that we all create. Jesus was the final payment of that sin. Needless to say, it is stated in the Bible that the path to everlasting life is narrow, but the road to destruction is wide. The Grandmother that stated the exhusband did not enter into Heaven can be assumed right. However the statement is wrong. No one knows who will enter in, all we can do is live our life in faith so the WE can enter in.

As for the aethist. All that needs to be said is when that day comes: “Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess.”

Before the ripping begins. The path to salvation is enumerated different between the different faiths. Renee’s and past50mom’s faith is obviously different. All that can be said is read the Bible and pray. God will tell you if your faith is reading it correctly and what you should do. There are many Churches out there, that are presenting mis-information. However, the Holy Bible, the one true book written from God’s words, does not present mis-information.

By Dick

May 3, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

Past 50 Mom; There is only one way to heaven and that is to admit you a sinner , doome dfor eternity in hell unless you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. One will not be able to pray themselves into heaven, tithe themselves into heaven, nor do enough good works to get into heaven, only one way and that is salvation thru Jesus Christ.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

” However, the Holy Bible, the one true book written from God’s words, does not present mis-information.”

How do you know how and who wrote the buybull? It is the largest work of fiction known to man. Only xtian lemmings would fall for that crap.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

concerned, You rightly pointed out that we have different views. However, as you told your kids that your pets have gone to Heaven, can you agree that the teachings of the Bible or of anyone’s religious faith are for HUMANS and not animals? That the advice and guidance and consequences for actions are for HUMAN actions, not animals? The Bible doesn’t say that animals are NOT going to Heaven, does it?

As to the “truth” of the Bible, take your pick of Bibles, hundreds of translations and rewordings through the ages have altered the original truth or meanings of the words as they were originally written. Apply the good works and teachings of the bible but be careful of adhering to “literal” translations, that vary widely.

By lynn

May 3, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Sadly, our family has had its share of death. I lost my mother, grandmother & father in law within a 5 year time frame. My girls were 4 & 6 when the first (my mother) one passed. I did tell my children “grandma went to live with god”. Whether this is right or wrong, it gave them peace of mind for their ages at the time. Now fast forward to this past December & we all had to deal with the loss of my youngest brother and the girls are now 13 & 15. The 13 year old has handled it much better than the 15 yr old has. She has pictures with poems written about him posted on her wall & myspace. I do notice all the poems she writes make reference to being with god & meeting him again. Between going to church & the first explanation I gave her, I believe she has finally found her peace. Death is something a child has to deal with based on their age & closeness of the one passing. The old saying that children are resiliant plays a big role when facing these issues. At 15, the reality sat in for my daughter that she would never get to see her uncle again until her time came & it hurt her deeply, while the youngest shed her tears & went on with life as normal.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

Dick, You are not in charge of my salvation, so don’t preach to me, please. I gave my opinion, and I don’t presume to judge who God will bring into heaven.

By Renee

May 3, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

dep and past50mom - Seriously, do you consider yourselves Christians? If you do - then you believe Jesus was the Son of God and gave his life that we would be forgiven for our sins. The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ.

That’s not just my opinion. That’s the basic tenet of Christianity. If you don’t accept that, then you truly are not a Christian. If you have any doubts, go ask your preacher/priest if you must believe Jesus was the Son of God and died for our sins in order to get to Heaven. They will answer 100% yes.

John 3:16 —> For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that all who believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

dep - if your grandfather never got saved and accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, then your grandmother was right.

Saying animals all go to Heaven is ridiculous. State one place in the bible (or any other accredited Christian reference) where it is stated that all animals go to Heaven. You can’t do it.

Heaven is our ultimate reward for worshiping God and believing that Jesus gave everything for us. Don’t diminish that gift by saying anyone can get there. If you truly believe that, then you’ll never truly know because you won’t get there to see.

By des

May 3, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

I though this was about children and death, not a doctrine forum where we hit each other over the head with our various bibles. Can’t you just let comments go and not have to dissect them. You have yours they have theirs. Who knows who is right or wrong.

By Debbie

May 3, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

hey past50mom, Dick gave an opinion - you blasted him for “preaching” to you. All he did was state his opinion.

Guess you’re the only one who gets to do that! To bad, cause your opinion’s wrong! (that’s my opinion)

By Rev. Jerry Fallwell

May 3, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

My goodness gracious! All of the lovely young children who come and sit in my lap will get to heaven!

By Dick

May 3, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Mom 50 no I am not in charge of your salvation, just telling it like it is. I am not expressing opinion, stating facts. Not preaching either.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

des, yes, I just had to respond to Renee’s preaching to me. I posted more on how I dealt with all of the media violence when my kids were growing up. How do the rest of you handle it (disasters, mass death, the war, etc.)?

Renee, Seriously, I don’t think you have any part in judging my salvation, so you look after yours and I will look after mine. Have a good day.

By des

May 3, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

You three are just like the Pharisees, always taking the important places, praying and spouting their knowledge in public.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

to all who are responding to my comments to Dick, uuuhh, yes, he was preaching when he said, “There is only one way to heaven and that is to admit you are a sinner, doomed for eternity in hell unless you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior.” He addressed me and so he was preaching to me.

By julie

May 3, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Thanks, concerned and Dick for your comments. Too many people have been led to believe that everyone will go to heaven as long as they believe in something. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

des, My first post was about how I handled death with my kids. Renee presumed to tell me I had done it the wrong way. I don’t care what or how anyone believes or not in God. who knows what will really happen after death? All we can do is the best we know how while we are here.

By concerned

May 3, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

All I can say is the Bible does not state that animals will be there or they will not be there. I come from the assumption that when God created the earth and all animals therein, it was “All Good.” Perfect creations. However, Humans became imperfect when we bit the stupid fruit. That is why I tell my kids that our animals are in Heaven. They are perfect from the beginning to the end.

As for the truth in the Bible, yes some translations have added to the mis-information. That is why if I want to truely study the Bible, I only read the King James Version. I have noticed the disparity in the others is WILD! If you would also notice I stated read the Bible and pray. Reading God’s word brings you into the communion with the Lord. I believe God speaks to you regarding those words on the pages. Yes you can be out of communion with God and misunderstand the words, but that deals more with you and your prayer life and what you are adding in this world that will knock you out of communion. Everyone’s walk is individual, which is why I believe no one can say “So and So went to Heaven.” Just pray that they lived a right life and they knew God.

Mark - if you were to actually read the Bible you will notice that the majority of the books written tell you who wrote them. They are the words given to that person from God. In your opinion it is the largest work of fiction. However since written times, scientist have found and proven the majority of the information written in the Bible. The choice you have is to believe it or not. I am sure your nonbelief in the Bible is because there are a lot of people professing that they are Christians, but do not know how to live a Godly life. However Jesus also addressed this in the Bible. As one plead to Jesus stating “did I not do these works in your name” and He (Jesus) responded that “He did not know them”. Everyday translation: There are a lot of people out there who like to “name drop” oh I know Donald Trump. But if you get Donald and me together I guarantee you that he will say “he does not know me.” Just because they say they are Christians does not mean they live a righteous life. However their imperfections should not prevent you from walking wth the Lord.

By Jennifer

May 3, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

I was raised that I should never, ever presume to judge who was going to Heaven or Hell, that the good Lord was the person in charge of that. Live my live according to his word and let him sort out the rest.

By Renee

May 3, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

past50mom - your 10:42 remark answered the question. Clearly, you are not a Christian.

You told me to “look after yours and I will look after mine.” Jesus told us to go forth as disciples and bring others to him. I believe you are incorrect about getting to Heaven and I am trying to set you about the right path - as Jesus commanded me to do.

Your opinion of keeping to yourself, is clearly not what Jesus wanted. Therefore, you are ignoring Jesus’ commandment. Hence, you are truly not a Christian. Sad.

By des

May 3, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Okay you know it alls. If you are such good christians, you wouldn’t be mean to each other. According to the Bible, or most of them I have read, God’s greatest commandment says you love him and each other and forgive. Don’t see that here.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Renee, first you’r telling me that my animals are not going to Heaven and now that I am not going to Heaven. Oh well, guess I am doomed by blogging….

By Debbie

May 3, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

hey past50mom - NO, he was not preaching to you. He was merely stating fact. What he said is what all Christians believe to be fact, in order to get to Heaven.

Yes, he used the word “you” twice. Surely, you’re smart enough to know when someone says “you”, they aren’t always specifically referencing “you”, past50mom.

He used “you” meaning all who are reading. That’s not preaching.

BTW, you made a high and mighty remark about how others shouldn’t judge you. Meanwhile, in your 9:47 post, you specifically called the New Orleans Mayor and Louisianna Governor “stupid.” Ah, and you knew all of the facts as the disaster was occuring and would have done much better. Yeah. You’re not “judging.”

By Renee

May 3, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

past50mom - again, your 10:50 statement included: “who knows what will really happen after death?”

Again - not the comment of a Christian. I’m a Christian - I believe in God, I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I’ve led a good life and cared for others. I do know what will happen after I die. I will go to Heaven to be with my Lord.

If you don’t know this - as a fact - then you don’t have the faith required to truly be a Christian. Start believing now, it’s not to late (that part was preaching - but you need it).

By des

May 3, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Okay, now I’m seeing candidates for road rage. Can you all just post or shut up

By abc

May 3, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

I think it’s a mistake to project one’s own wishes upon what one thinks about salvation and eternal life in heaven.

Revelation says that at Rapture, Christians are removed from earth to heaven in spirit. It doesn’t say ‘saved’ or ‘born again’ or any other Southern Baptist dogma (now, don’t go thinking I disagree with Southern Baptists all THAT much, I don’t).

After tribulation, all people who have ever lived will be compared to the Book of Life, and if their name appears in it, they’ll be given ‘heavenly bodies’, that is, bodies that are ideal for that life. Spirits in heaven will also then be given heavenly bodies. The Bible doesn’t say what is prerequisite for your name to be in the Book of Life. Like lots of things in the Bible, it simply doesn’t say.

By Richard

May 3, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Concerned - I hope you do know that the King James bible is just another translation. It’s not the “original” language and is just as flawed as any others. The NIV, American Standard, those are all translated from the same source as the King James.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Debbie, Dick addressed me directly, starting out “past50mom, …”

And we were discussing “judging” who gets into Heaven, dear.
Next nit-picker? Haven’t heard from anne or Casey yet.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Listen to yourselves. “I’m a xtian, you’re not an xtian”. I can feel the xtian love here. You are all hypocrites!

Religion is a mental illness. Anyone that believes in a magical man in the sky is retarded and should seek help.

By Richard

May 3, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

abc - do you think John 3:16 doesn’t matter then?

By des

May 3, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

I think it is a mistake for you to judge each other. Only God can judge. Now back to the subject?

By Mark

May 3, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Anyone care to guess the #1 reason for war/violence/death in the world?

Religion. Yup, religion. Ignorant lemmings fighting over who’s magical man in the sky is better. Do you really believe that your magical man in the sky approves of wars and murdering other people simply because they have different beliefs than you?

Religion is a crutch for people who simply don’t believe in themselves.

By landsaf

May 3, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

No one has bothered to even respond to Hans so I will.

I’m with you…Its hard to comprehend heaven (or hell) when you are forced into that kind of situation. There is no proof that the crossing guard is ok after death. I mean, I stil haven’t grasped the concept of “God” taking away the good people “because its their time” and leaving the bad ones to torture us here on earth!

By landsaf

May 3, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

so to answer questions on how to tell kids about death, you tell them the truth: When someone dies, their life as we know it comes to an end and the body is buried as a custom. If your kids are raised in a religion, they will assume that the soul carried on to whatever afterlife is taught. If your kids are not raised religiously, then that person is simply dead/gone. Easy enough.

By des

May 3, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

I would like to thank you all. I was doubting my sanity. Thanks to y’all, I think I am okay.

By concerned

May 3, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Yes I know the KJV is a translation, which is why I always add the tag PRAY!!! Direct communion with God is through prayer.

past50mom…we are all sinners. Which is why God had to come down and save us. Do not let them anger you by stating we are sinners. I mean really, we are blogging when we are suppose to be working :). Do not misunderstand that fact that I am not proud of my sin, however I do recognize my weakness and but for the GRACE of God I should not be where I am today.

Another poster said it correctly, we should not fight about our differences. Fighting will never flesh out the truth and lead a person to the Truth. It only turns them off and away.

As for the doctrine, death questions always lead to one’s docturnal belief.

By abc

May 3, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Of course it matters, Richard. I’m not sure what your point is, could you please elucidate?

By concerned

May 3, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Mark- religion is not the #1 reason for war - usually it is the background that some people have to say they should go after the other. In fact, most wars are because the other side is jealous of what one has. They want to forcefully take a piece of property or rights. And death…we all die. It is inevitable. No one blames their death based on someone’s religion. Please have some sort of statistic if you want to have an argument based on percentages.

By des

May 3, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Doctrine, rituals and the like have little to do with believing in God. They are man made, not God made. One more thing. Reading and comprehension are two different things. You read the same words, but every one comprehends differently. And I though I was dumb.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

des : If you believe in a god, then yes, you are dumb.

By Richard

May 3, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

abc - I asked because John 3:16 specifically states: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that all who believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Your 11:03 comments “It doesn’t say ‘saved’ or ‘born again’ or any other Southern Baptist dogma” and “The Bible doesn’t say what is prerequisite for your name to be in the Book of Life” indicate a doubt as to the need to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died for our sins - and that believing this is essential to salvation.

Just wondering.

By Dale

May 3, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

I love it!!!

des: “And I though I was dumb.”

Don’t worry - you are!!!!

By des

May 3, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Mark, bless your heart, you can say what you want to me because unlike these other people I’m not delusional in thinking my opinion is always right. You just go on thinking whatever you want to. But it sounds like you keep saying this cause maybe you hope there is a God.

By des

May 3, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

Dale, you can say what you want. I would rather be dumb and happy than nasty and mean.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

des: “But it sounds like you keep saying this cause maybe you hope there is a God.”

I KNOW there isn’t a “god”. Just like I know there isn’t a santa, an easterbunny, or a tooth fairy. I only believe in what I see. Until a god allows itself to be seen will I ever believe in one. Try using logic, lemming.

By gatiggermom

May 3, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Religious topics are so touchy. Its understandable why a topic on how to talk to your children about death leads to debates on what happens when someone dies. For those who believe the Bible is fiction, you might want to skip over this. For others, the Bible tells us much about death. It also tells us no one is in heaven now except the Father and His Son. Throughout scripture - both O.T. & N.T. we read of the dead who “sleep with our/their fathers” or phrases that tell us the dead await the return of Christ. Also, Revelation explains that our deaths are not the end. Not to get preachy, but if when a person dies they go to heaven or hell, what is the purpose of the resurrection that occurs when Christ returns? Do people come back from heaven and get back into their graves, urns or wherever their bodies ended up just so they can come out of them in time for the resurrection? Christ is the only being to have been resurrected to date.

By des

May 3, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Wh6 should I waist time on you. You said God had to appear to you for you to believe. Maybe he will. I don’t have to explain or use logic or even talk to you lemming.

By Cletus Snow

May 3, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

Wow, and I thought Wooten had all the Moonbats,I suppose I was mistaken.

By des

May 3, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

I don’t know about the mis part but we hope you get taken

By julie

May 3, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

abc, the Bible absolutely DOES say what it takes to get your name written in the book of life. Jesus himself said in John 14 “I am the way , the truth and the life. NO MAN comes to the Father except through me.”

By pagan

May 3, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Based on these posts today, no one here is going to heaven.

Wthe big discussion on whether or not your pets will be up in heaven waiting on you. Who cares? They are dead, you are dead.

Personally, I don’t buy any of it. I think that when you die, you die, that’s it.

That’s the problem with religion and politics. Not everyone is going to agree. Everyone has their own opinion, and we should not be blasting others because they don’t believe what you believe. I personally DON’T believe in God/Jesus, etc. But that’s my right, and no one here has the right to tell me who or what to believe in.

Isn’t that why these Islamic Muslims are killing Americans? Because we don’t worship THEIR god??????

By des

May 3, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Obviously, the subject matter died. Rest in peace.

By vee

May 3, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

I had the job of guiding my two children through the long and arduous period of their father dying. He had a degenerative disease and died inch by inch for ten years. We had the natural opportunities to talk about what was happening and what was to be expected. My youngest was in preschool when my husband became ill. He used to date things by “that was when dad could walk” or “that was when dad was using canes”, “wheelchair”, etc. During this long time of dying we had the opportunity to be involved in the illnesses and funerals of many other loved ones. We also had funerals for turtles, cats, reptiles, etc. We also were in therapy the entire time. It was a great help to manage the inevitable ways boys express anger and grief over such situations. By the time he finally died we had a plan in place. I took leave from work for several weeks to be available to them. We did all the usual things grieving familys do. We had a memorial service, their adult friends and former teachers sent cards and/or attending the service, we scattered his ashes with his extended family at his favorite place. We continue ten years later to leave flowers there at special times. At that time they seemed to need their friends more for support. One child was away at youth camp when the death occured. He was enveloped in love and support from the other kids. He chose not to come home right away. It was a good choice for him. During that ten years it was hard for me. Many times I prayed for the suffering to hurry up and end, but my kids sure needed that time with their dad. And he needed that time with them. Sorry to ramble on, but thinking about this takes me back and I get lost in the experience all over again. It’s been almost ten years since his death. My kids have experienced a lot more than most of their friends have. It has matured them beyond their years in many ways.

By Stacey

May 3, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

My son was 7 mths old when my mother died so (of course) he doesn’t remember that at all. When he was almost 4, he started questioning why we never visited or talked to her on the phone. I explained to him that she died when he was a baby and both of his grandfathers died before he was born and they all now live with God. When he asked how they died, my husband told him they got really old because he was afraid that if he told him they were sick, he would think we were going to die everytime we had any sort of sniffle (F-I-L died of cancer at age 38). My son was fine with that explanation until I lost a baby late term (my son was almost 5 then). We tried explaining (in terms he can understand) that only God knows when we are going to die but because we had accepted Christ, we will meet again in heaven.

My friend (who was around my age) died last summer of an aneurysm. My son gave me a hug and told me not to cry because I would see her again when I get to heaven. He seemed comforted by this belief which was a comfort to me. A few days later he started asking if I was going to die and didn’t want me to go to work for fear that I would die and no one would know to pick him up from school. This lasted about a week but then he stopped dwelling on it.

By nb

May 3, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

I am getting a kick out of those people claiming they are “Christians” and when another “Christian” shows a verse from the Bible stating how a “Christian” should live they are now judging them. How? They are just stating how the Bible says a “Christian” should be and are just questioning your “Christianity” because your actions are not following the Bible’s way a “Christian” should act. So in ALL techincality, the Bible is the one doing the judging and the people here are just calling you out because you are not following it and then you claim yourself as the “it” “Christian”. That itself makes you a two-faced and a hypocrite -and I am NOT judging just telling how the Bible sees it. You cannot just pick and choose the Bible - a TRUE “Christian” should be following the Bible the best they HUMANLY can. Yes, we are all human and full of faults, but we must admit to those faults, ask GOD for forgiveness and keep trying to be more Christ-like everyday.

Also, I thought the KJV Bible was translated from the latin (or greek, cannot remember)… which I thought was the Bible was mainly written in in the NT..??

By Mark

May 3, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

Des: “I don’t know about the mis part but we hope you get taken”

How “christian” of you to make that statement. Hypocrite!

By abc

May 3, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

Of course the Bible says those things, but it doesn’t specifically say that about the Book of Life. I endeavor to not interpret the Bible is such ways. It’s pure, plain and simple the way it is.

Pagan, the truth is that Islam, Judaism and Christianity pretty much endorse the same God. At issue is whether Old Testament law remains intact; or whether Jesus came and died for our sins, offering us forgiveness and a kind of ‘new deal’ over Old Testament law; and which of Abraham’s sons, Isaac or Ishmael, has claim to Israel. Comparing the Bible, Torah and Quran show that the Old Testament’s stories appear in each.

I’d say a root motivation for ‘Muslims killing Americans’ would historically be our foreign policies, such as creation of the current Jewish state after W.W. 2, displacing Muslims in the process. I don’t offer commentary on whether I think that was a correct action; my opinions about such things don’t matter much, not even to me.

By nb

May 3, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

So I am a hypocrite for stating how the Bible says a “Christian” should be and stating how the Bible sees the behaviour of those “Christians” on this blog? Boy, that makes absolutely NO sense! I guess the Bible is the biggest hypocrite of all.

By des

May 3, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

I didn’t say if I was or wasn’t. I was just trying to get the know it alls to stop slamming each other. Mark why don’t you go play in traffic and get arrested for road rage.

By JJ

May 3, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Vee I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain. It is by far the worst experience to watch someone die. I watched my father die from Pulminary Fibrosis. I know your pain. Sounds like you did a fabulous job with your kids. I hope all are well.

I will never get over the death of my father, and it was 14 years ago. I still cry at pictures of him. As a matter of fact, my Mom recently found a letter he had written to me on my 18th birthday, and I couldn’t even look at his handwriting, let alone read the letter. My mom had to read it to me.

By Mom of a Senior

May 3, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

Oh, good grief. I cannot believe how quickly this column dissolved into a finger-pointing, Bible-thumping, cross-clasping diatribe!!!

People’s beliefs are their own. Your own religion or denomination may call for you to proselytize, but outside of stating your opinion and beliefs, it is the height of arrogance to assume a mantle of rightousness and point to someone else and declare that THEY are wrong.

We don’t know. None of us. We live, we muddle along the best we can, we embrace a way of thinking that helps us make sense of the world, and to try to come to grips with the unknowable. We hope, we dream, we aspire — but knowing is only the province of God and the unbearably smug.

By KidsSayDarndestThings

May 3, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

My 6-year-old niece lost her father a year ago today. Last summer, about 2 months after his death, we passed by a cemetery. I expected her to get upset by this sighting, but instead she said, “That’s a cemetery. That’s where people go to live again.” That simple statement gave me more strength at the time to cope with our recent loss than I could have imagined I would get (especially from a child). So wise and so true. Why can’t we all think like children sometimes???

By Jesse's Girl

May 3, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this

Honestly people…..this does not need to turn into a theological discussion…again! Kids understand what they need to. And if you have half a brain, you have the ability to articulate the death discussion with only the most neccessary information. If your children ask a question, answer it as best as you can without delving too deeply into it. When my God brother passed away in December, all 3 of the kids were aware of what was going on. Mr Jesse and I sat them down individually and spoke to them about what happened, where he was and how they felt about it. If you are religious, certainly your values will be present in the conversation. Kids do not require big fat grown up explanations. They understand issues in ways that sometimes we cannot relate to. Be truthful, be available and your kids will come to you if they need more.

By antimark

May 3, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

Too bad the original topic has not been addressed more, it was a good one. That said, I could not let Mark’s inane comment about only believing what he sees go by without my own 2 cents’ worth. Mark, if you have a toothache, do you still believe it is there even when you don’t see it? We cannot see the wind either, for that matter, just the effects that let us know it is there. So it is that His creation is all around us as evidence. God has a sense of humor, He made you even though you think your relatives are monkeys.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

des : Your proctologist just called. They found your head.

By des

May 3, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

Mark: God just called - and he did not ask for you.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

Antimark: What a foolish comparison. But I’ll just consider the source.

By julie

May 3, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

I don’t see how this could not turn into a theological discussion given the topic.

By antimark

May 3, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

Keith, can you not banish Mark to the Outer Limits? He is not contributing anything to this except to insult as he has just done to des. Mark is probably a 13 year old boy staying home from school. What do you all say, let’s put him out to pasture and get back to the task at hand. Past generations seemed to have less of an issue when teaching kids about death as it seemed to be out in the open since wakes were held in homes where people came to view the body. Death was (and still is) a part of life. Nowadays we want to shield our kids from the painful reality until we are confronted by it and have to address it. I am struggling with telling my youngest that I may have cancer, knowing that he already worries about the day when we will die.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

des: Next time he calls, tell him to tell jesus that my grass needs cutting. Thanks.

By des

May 3, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

Mark: I thought you had your arms cut off during the 911 crisis yesterday. Who is typing?

By Jesse's Girl

May 3, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Look…I am a Messianic woman. I believe in Jesus as my saviour. I do not however beat people over the head with Him. Kind of defeats the purpose if you turn folks off to the very thing you are trying to direct them toward. People who question or just do not believe look at our actions more than anything else…our words mean very little. So why don’t some of you thumpers start to SHOW the love and grace you claim to have instead of wielding it like an axe! You might surprise yourself at how it turns out.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

des : ?? Time to take your meds…..

By vee

May 3, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

I forgot to mention that during part of the time my husband was dying my kids were overly concerned if I said I felt bad or even if I sighed when tired. They were worried I would die too. We brought it out in the open and discussed the differences in having a terminal illness and just feeling bad or tired. They still continued to worry, but we continued to reassure them as best we could. These conversations just had to happen whenever/whereever they were needed. I remember such strange looks from others when I realized they were listening to me explain the concept of life insurance to two small boys while we were eating at Shoneys! (One of my kids was overly concerned about finances - he decided in 1st grade to go to technical school instead of college because it was cheaper.) By the way, EVERYONE should have disability insurance it it’s offered to them and ALL PARENTS should have life insurance. We didn’t have disability ins and really struggled. But, the life insurance save our behinds in such a rough time.

By Smitty

May 3, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Mark good one about your lawn needing mowing…ha ha

By julie

May 3, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

antimark, you said you were struggling with telling your youngest child that you MAY have cancer. Wouldn’t it be better to just wait till you know whether you have it or not. You may not have to tell him/her anything at all. I am a believer and I will pray for your health.

By Renee

May 3, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

hey mom of a senior - if you truly believe what Jesus said, then you in fact do know what happens when you die. If you don’t know - then you doubt Jesus.

Case closed.

By Allen

May 3, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

Here’s a thought. For most people their religious/spiritual beliefs are very much at the core of who they are—agreed?

Now if I were to say “My beliefs are right and yours are wrong,” isn’t that just the same as saying “I’m better than you?”

Gee, perhaps there’s a more tolerant and open minded way of looking at this.

IOW, not having died I’m not going to say I “know” for a “fact” just what’s going to happen when I do just because I may believe (hope?) something may or may not happen.

By des

May 3, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

Vee, you are a very strong woman. You did a good job.

By Mark

May 3, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this

Julie: I was thinking the same thing. I think antimark’s driveway doesn’t go all the way to the road…..

By Lynette

May 3, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

When I lost my middle child I found myself struggling for answers to all the why’s and where’s my youngest child want to know. My faith had been rocked to the core of my being. I was finally able to tell her that her brothers body was like all the pretty presents under the christmas tree. We like to see them and hold them and it makes that season of our life exciting. When it is time to go to our real home in heaven God unwraps the gift and takes the real “us” home with him and leaves the wrapping behind. What we are on the inside is our gift to God.
I can honestly tell you the issue of animals in heaven is really a non-issue. I will find out when I get there but honestly, I have other folks I love up there that I want to see more.

By Mom of a Senior

May 3, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

renee, I didn’t come on here to discuss or argue my religious beliefs with you. They are my own and are not open for your dissection or judgement. I figure I know about as much as what happens in the afterlife as anyone else — which is to say, zip. My beliefs, however, are my own, are not subject to your debate, and I feel no need to discuss them with you.

By des

May 3, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Lynette, you are also a very strong woman. I admire you for having the presence of mine to be able to explain to your youngest, all the while dealing with your own pain. For my part in this free for all, I am sorry. God bless you.

By Mom of a Senior

May 3, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Y’all go on to heaven — I think I’ll hang out by the Rainbow Bridge for some unconditional love. :-)

By Lynette

May 3, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

des, Thank you.
Everyone, I think if telling a child his pet Turtle went to heaven makes it easier for the child do it. You cannot argue theological issues with a grieving 3 year old.
As far as whether Grandpa or Aunt Mammie goes to heaven well all I can tell you is to never underestimate the grace of a Loving God.

By JustAMom

May 3, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

I don’t normally respond to, although I often read, this column.

Whatever your feelings about death, I would suggest that you discuss them with your children - soon - no matter their age.

Yes, it will bring up tough questions - and things you don’t even like to think about - and it may even cause them some initial fear. With patience and love, you can get through the questions and the fear.

I had not done that with my then four-year-old last summer when his best friend’s eleven month old brother died suddenly. It put my family in the position of having to explain not only death, but untimely death, during a time of great emotional hardship for everyone.

The conversation will never be easy, I just can’t help but think that it would have been much easier had I talked with him about it before we were faced with a tragedy and emotions were so close to the surface.

There are several wonderful children’s books which can offer a jumping off place for the conversation - on their level.

By Stacey

May 3, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Regarding scary natural and political events, for the most part, we don’t discuss the war or anything political with my son. He was less than a year old when the 9/11 attacks occurred so that wasn’t an issue. I do watch the news every night but even if he’s in the room, he rarely pays attention to it. He occasionally hears about murders (such as a Christopher Barrios case) and we used it as an opportunity to talk about stranger danger and good vs evil. I don’t know if he knows about VA Tech because he didn’t ask any question and I didn’t volunteer info. He couldn’t avoid exposure to Katrina news but didn’t appear to be particularly effected by any of it.

By 1st blog last blog

May 3, 2007 5:07 PM | Link to this

My daughter died 3 yrs ago at age 10, after a long and difficult illness. Her girl scout troop planted a tree at the school for her. Remembering her and talking about memories help. It was then and continues to be challenging to answer the questions. It seems to be comforting for all of them to think in terms of her being in heaven. Kids can ask tough questions about suffering and death, and I’ve finally learned to ask them what they think, to let them lead. Kids can be very wise.

I’ve never looked at any blog before, but I had a reason to be interested in this topic. I appreciate those of you who actually addressed it and hope that I’ve contributed to the conversation.

By GR

May 3, 2007 5:40 PM | Link to this

My husband’s mom and my dad passed away within six months of each other last year. My son who will be 5 at the end of this months knows they are in heaven and seems to be ok with it. Sometimes its better they don’t know all the details!

By fk

May 3, 2007 7:00 PM | Link to this

I started taking my son to funerals and wakes at a young age, friends of my parents. Needless to say, we talked about death at an age appropriate level. I wanted him to be familiar with the process and did not want someone close to him to be his first experience. My husband’s brother-in-law died unexpectedly when his son was 12. This boy had been to only one other wake and funeral before he attended his dad’s. My son was three when his uncle passed away, and five when my father-in-law passed away. He attended both wakes and funerals, and handled everything very well. Unfortuately, last year, my 15 y/o son accompanied me to NY for his 19 y/o cousin’s funeral. His death was a complete shock. That was, by far, the saddest experience I’ve ever had. Never before had I heard a mother wail for a dead child, nor seen so many young people come to the realization that they are mortal. My son is now 16, and we are preparing him, as well as ourselves, as my niece, 14, is losing a hard fought battle with a malignant brain tumor. No matter how you try to prepare, there is no way that you can ever be ready for something like this.

1st blog, thanks for your insight. Let the kids lead. My prayers are with you. My nephew’s friends did the same thing…planted a tree at the local park in his memory. Many of his friends called my sister-in-law in January, on what should have been his 20th birthday. She finds comfort in knowing that he is not forgotten.

By past50mom

May 3, 2007 7:05 PM | Link to this

1st & last blogger, thank you for your comments. I am sorry for your loss. Kids do know how to express their feelings when we listen to them. I am hoping that you are comforted by them and that you may find that your little angel’s spirit is hovering around you. Ever since my mom died 16 years ago, I still feel her around me at times, when I am folding clothes on the bed, cooking dinner, and sometimes in my dreams. we are all connected by love, in this life and beyond.

By Mark

May 4, 2007 8:19 AM | Link to this

past50mom - your mom is wormfood now. Nothing more, nothing less.

By Jesse's Girl

May 4, 2007 8:27 AM | Link to this

Nice Mark…nice. You’re a happy fella aren’t ya?

By past50mom

May 4, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Mark, My mom no longer inhabits her earthly body. And her body is not worm food, as the body was embalmed and sealed in a casket. We inhabit our bodies until our lives on earth end, then our life or spirit leaves the body and we journey to another place.

By LM

May 4, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

My ex-brother in law died unexpectedly several years ago. He left behind two very young children, his wife, family and friends. My daughter was devastated at the lose of her Uncle Shorty. I struggled as I watched her work through the pain. God and heaven were used in the discussion, even though my daughter is raised in a different religion then I.

We now face the lose of my mother. She has always been very open with her ideas of death and her wishes for our actions following her death. These discussion are painful and at times funny, we cry and laugh discussing the plans. This last fall, the three of us went to spend a week at the beach in FL; I grew up in St. Pete. This is the place Mom wants me to spread her ashes. The discussion turn to renting a boat, drinking mimosas and saying our goodbyes when my daughter joking said we’d wear black bikinis, we all just started laughing.

I have tried to discuss what would happen if I were to die with my daughter. At 14 she does not want to face it. I have made plans, have insurance, but don’t feel it is enough, is it ever enough?

I like several others have mentioned want my beloved pets with me in heaven. Of course there are humans I can’t wait to see again, but the love of my pets sustained me though many painful times in my life. Otherwise I’ll plan for the rainbow bridge.

By Ms. Jones

May 4, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

When I die, I do not want a funeral, nor do I want to be placed in the ground.

I consider myself a free-spirit, and I want to be creamated, and have my ashes scattered somewhere/anywhere in the Rocky Mountains.

I do not want a funeral, I want a wake. I want my family and friends to celebrate my life, and not mourn my death.

My 16 year old knows this, as does my mother and my close friends.

By anne

May 4, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Zealots - lay off Past50Mom. She may be a Libertarian and a lawyer but at least she’s thoughtful and honest.

Throughout history we have seen what happens when people use what they believe is “god’s” word to advance their own agendas. Whether it’s Sayyid Qutb or “Renee” …

By Mom of a Senior

May 4, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

My children asked me a few weeks ago what kind of funeral I would like (this was just chatting after discussing my aunt’s funeral a few months ago, nothing imminent is planned!) I told them that, at that point, I could care less and that they should do whatever makes them feel better under the circumstances. They were rather taken aback by my cavalier attitude. :-) Afterwards, though, it did make me think that it might be a kindness to have some sort of plan — after a death, there is often so much emotional upheaval that having a take-it-or-leave-it guide might be a thoughtful thing to leave behind, and might lessen the stress. Hmm. I’ll have to think about that one.

By LM

May 4, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

Morning *Ms. Jones You, my mother and I seem to have the same outlook with regards to our “after death” plans. Mom wants her ashes in the Gulf of Mexico, the beach helped her through the most difficult time of her life, she wants to be close to it again. Me, not sure where I want my ashes scattered, just don’t want to be buried. I attened a wake when I was 11 or 12, it gave me a different perspective of a funeral. I don’t want a funeral, I want my friends and family to celebrate my life and the joy I found it it.

Mom of a Senior, my mom as always let me know what she wanted done in case of her death. There was never a “talk”, just little mentions here and there. Her mother had made her arangements and had talked about her wishes. Mom appreciated having most of the difficult choices taken care of and knowing what her mother wanted. She wants the same for me.

By past50mom

May 4, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

anne, thanks! Zealots was an excellent word to to use for the bloggers whose word perfect religious views are so exclusive and shunning, and not inclusive and inviting as Jesus preached. Religious and spiritual beliefs should be about enlightenment and embracing others, not about arrogance and division.

By Fulton County Mom

May 4, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

I am not sure when death became ‘real’ to me. My children have already attended one funeral in their short lives. I am not sure how much they understand of ‘death’ now either…despite gentle probing on the subject.

My child did ask me to take her to her grave (I was driving and almost wrecked the car). I asked what she was talking about. She said “everyone dies. They go to live with Jesus and their body goes in the ground. So I want to see where my body will live when I am with God.” Obviously she gets some of it (although I do not recall us discussing any of this before that day).

How do you answer that one?

By des

May 4, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

That’s right past 50 mom but you shouldn’t be judging them if you are a christian. It’s all about love.

By des

May 4, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Isn’t it interesting how we take a forum that is supposed to be about dealing with children and turn it in to a political/religious/racial/whatever forum and make it about avenging ourselves? Aren’t you all just a bit ashamed of yourselves? A mother in Atlanta lost her only son in a senseless shooting. A four year old saw her father stabbed. Parents of a high school kid who went to an after prom party are burying their son. And we argue over what is right or wrong about religion. I will pray for all of us. Peace.

By past50mom

May 4, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

des, This is a public opinion forum where we discuss and debate, and SO WHAT if we don’t all agree, nothing shameful in that. You must be out of ideas or experiences relating to the subject, so now you want to chastise us. Whatever floats your boat! The point is that we raised a lot of interesting issues to think about regarding death and religion.

By des

May 4, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

Past50mom, you tout yourself as an intelligent woman, a lawyer. So why do you degrade yourself by continuing an argument over religion. If you were the smarter one, you would just refrain. But you didn’t. You just keep agging it on. That is my point.

By Nancy

May 4, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Mark, if you can drop the worm food comment to Past50mom, I would vote for you for president!!!

By LM

May 4, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

des I think you meant egging in on. Which you have done.

Pot meet kettle!

By past50mom

May 4, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

des, I don’t ‘tout’ myself as anything. I blog here to share my experiences with my kids lessons I learned about childrearing. And if I choose to defend myself when someone (Renee) says I did something wrong (here telling my toddlers that our pets went to heaven), well then I will. The ‘agging’ (did you mean egging?) it on you speak about brought out some interesting thoughts in our discussion, which is what I was pointing out to you. It doesn’t matter what I believe, and who disagrees because theinteresting discussion and debate is the goal for me. Get it?