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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Should financial independence trump all family concerns?
Are stay-at-home moms making a mistake?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A new book by journalist Leslie Bennetts appears to be fueling the “mommy wars” fire between working moms and stay-at-home moms. I’ll be honest. I haven’t had a chance to read The Feminist Mistake, so I can’t comment on the book itself. But the author lays out her premise and reasons for writing it here and here .
Maintaining financial independence seems to be the driving force behind The Feminist Mistake. The book is particularly touching the nerve of stay-at-home moms who have opted out of work to raise their children. Bennetts argues SAHMs don’t weigh the risks of becoming financially dependent on men before they drop out of the workforce, and that many will face hardships as a result of their decision. Most stay-at-home wives, she says, run the risk of divorce, widowhood, their spouse’s unemployment, illness or disability.
Those are certainly risks everyone runs - working or not. And I would argue that all choices in life involve some risk. The decision to have children in the first place is rife with risk. The best we can do is to make educated decisions and cover our bases in the event the unthinkable occurs.
Financial independence is a huge security blanket, but it’s only a part of people’s complex lives. Bennetts’ arguments suggest financial independence should be the only thing that matters. If that were the case, I don’t think so many parents would be constantly questioning their decisions — whether it’s to work or stay home with the kids.
Have your say. What is your take on Bennetts’ opinion? Do you think it is wise to stay-at-home with your kids if you can? Should financial independence trump all other concerns in your family life? Do you work for the independence? Do you — working or stay-at-home — plan for those worst-case scenarios?
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