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Friday, February 2, 2007
Sports-watching tips for people who aren’t into sports
Tattoo sightings, critiquing coaches' clothes and gossipy back stories told by my sports-fanatic husband help
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Like many American wives I will be watching the Super Bowl Sunday night, but I won’t really be paying attention. At least not until they flash to a particularly suggestive cheerleader or they show a player up close with some interesting tattoos.
I know there are a lot of women out there who truly like sports, but I think there are even more women who have just learned to put up with it being on the TV all the time. During the last 15 years, I have developed my own coping mechanisms to survive watching sports with my husband.
It was quite a shock when we first starting dating to adapt to a true sports fanatic’s viewing life. I rarely watched sports as a child. My dad went to Georgia Tech, and he’s just not that into it. On top of which, my parents didn’t have cable until I went off to college so I had never even seen ESPN.
But I learned quickly.
Michael and his roommates watched about six SportsCenter broadcasts a day. I was baffled - how much could change in a 12-hour period. With each subsequent child, my husband’s sports viewing has lessened, but to this day whenever I turn the TV on after him I know I will hear “Na Na Na, Na Na Na.”
We had only been dating about three months when Michael invited me to a Final Four party. I was clueless. I didn’t know what March Madness was. I thought a bracket held up a window treatment, and I didn’t know that people really had a “party” to watch a basketball game. I showed up with my school books. I figured I could study during the game.
He claims he seriously thought about breaking up with me that night.
But now I’m a seasoned veteran. I have my favorite sports to watch, my favorite ESPN anchors and my own little points of interest to keep an eye out for during games.
My husband also has made some adjustments in his viewing. He’s learned that I love back stories. If he can tell me interesting factoids about a player’s childhood, his marriage, his recruitment or his training then I am far more likely to follow along. All these details make the games more human and help me feel a vested interest in the athletes.
One of my favorite sports — because it always has compelling back stories — is boxing. I know this goes against all my peacenik ways, but I love watching these scrappy little guys duke it out for the American dream.
I’m not sure my husband can tell you where we went for our first Valentine’s Day together, but he does remember the first boxing match I ever got into. Arturo “Thunder” Gatti was getting beaten to a pulp. He could barely see through his swollen face and he came back to win.
My husband tells me how and where the fighters grew up. He tells me about the different trainers and their methods, and he gives me inside scoop on dirty management deals.
My interest will wane when other professional sports are on. When that happens, I have a list of things to look for, which may help others like me.
— Tattoos are always fun to look at. Who’s got the most? What do they say? What do they mean?
— Check out the appearance of the coaches. Are they in shape? How badly do their clothes fit? That Notre Dame football coach is killing me. A better tailor could really help his appearance on the field. And what is with the Patriot’s head coach who always wears sweatshirts (often with torn sleeves)? It’s like he’s reliving “Flashdance.”
— Which players are affected by the weather? I love to see who pretends it’s not cold and doesn’t wear long sleeves under their uniform despite snow and ice. This can apply to baseball too.
— Salacious questions are always fun and help keep you involved and informed. Ask your husband: Who’s been accused of steroid use or drug use? Who’s cheated on their wives? Who’s left their wives? Who didn’t show up to training camp on time? Who’s blown all their money?
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