MOMania

By TheOne

January 4, 2007 08:06 AM | Link to this

Ok, you are putting waayyyyyy too much importance on this. Unless said person holds the key to your life (living, breathing, eating, taking care of your kids, paying your bills, etc.), WHO CARES!!!! People come and people go, but as long as my family (1 child) and I are safe, happy and healthy, LIFE GOES ON!!!! Don’t mean to sound rude, but I’ve never been one to hold my breath about what some other woman (or man) is doing. Come on now……..

By theresa

January 4, 2007 08:20 AM | Link to this

Normally I would agree with you on this but she has been our best friend in the area. (I have friends in alpharetta, downtown, henry county, marietta but they aren’t really practical for play dates) She has a boy and girl exactly the same ages as mine and I really, really like her (it’s not torture when the kids play because we have just as much fun as they do.) this summer we went to the pool with them at least two times a week so it’s just been sad not seeing them very much because of differing school schedules. We moved three times in six years so I totally get the moving of friends in and out of your life —- I generally roll with the punches but this friend would be sorely missed.

By Michelle

January 4, 2007 08:58 AM | Link to this

It hurts to be thrown away, doesn’t it?

By JustAskin'

January 4, 2007 09:12 AM | Link to this

I don’t understand why this would even be a concern. You as a parent should not even worry yourself if anotther parent is “blowing you off”. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard. I totally agree with the first poster. You are putting WAAAAYYYY too much importance on this subject. Yes, before you start berating me, I am a parent. There too many more important things in life that wondering if another parent likes you or not. For example, my son has one best friend. We recently we to his birthday party. There were a lot of children and his family memebers there. My son and this boy played together the entire party. The birthday boy didn’t want to play with anyone else. As the other parents huddled around and discussed taxes and tried to get their kids to play with the birthday boy and impress the birthday boy’s mother, all I could do was laugh at all of them. Life is not about impressing others and keeping up with the Jones’. It’s about family and survival. I don’t mean to be rude to you Theresa, but this seems like the writings of a mother that has way too much time on her hands.

By jenny

January 4, 2007 09:17 AM | Link to this

Boy it must be nice to have so many “friends” that you can throw away one or two. Do not worry about this woman. I am sure that you can do better for friends. Your friends are not necessairly determined by you kids friends. My mother’s best friends daughter and I are the same age. We girls fought like cats and dogs for years and even went on one disasterious family vacation together. The next summer my parents and hers went together and left us behind . All of us were happier. Again this life is too short to worry about people who view others as disposable..MOVE ON AND GOOD RIDANCE.

By bellamomma

January 4, 2007 09:17 AM | Link to this

Still this article is a little creepy. If I was said friend it would make me uncomfortable.

Everyone needs a break now and then. Even best friends. My sister in law’s best friend makes me jealous. rather, their relationship makes me jealous. They are high school friends. Their husbands are friends and they each have two girls the same age! They do everything together, vacations sports etc. My poor daughter has almost no girl friends because all of my friends with kids her age have boys. I would love for Ava Grace to make a good friend her own age who is not a boy but so far we got nothing!

By gena

January 4, 2007 09:29 AM | Link to this

I am a college student, mother, and wife. Most of my friends are college students. Those are the people that I’m surrounded by most of the day but…I’m 28. I have recently found that I desire friends that have something in common with me. So I find myself being more likely to talk to the other moms at my daughter’s basketball games and softball practices. I have a couple of mom friends with children that my daughter enjoys spending time with. I do also try to nourish their friendship because I enjoy spending time with these children’s mothers. I hope that even if our girl’s break up…we won’t. But I can definitely see how it could happen. For those who say this shouldn’t be a concern, of course it should. Shouldn’t your friendships succeed or fail based on the actions of you and the other person? Anytime something or someone else breaks up a friendship…its unsatisfying…even if the someone or something else was your collective kid’s beef.

By past50mom

January 4, 2007 09:31 AM | Link to this

Theresa, I agree with The One, people come and go. Kids and their interests change many times as they grow, and as a mother you will have a shifting group of mother ‘friends.’ Note to self; your children are separate people from you. You will cultivate and have your own circle of close friends. And you may expand the circle to develop long term friendships with some of your kids’ friends’ moms, but these are more often just short term social friendships. Don’t feel sad or stressed when people move on, because it’s not the same as being rejected by one of your close friends.

By Grandma

January 4, 2007 09:35 AM | Link to this

First off, I wouldn’t sweat it. Stop calling her to “find out why”. Ignore her like she’s ignoring you, and maybe she’ll see what it’s like or maybe even start to miss you as well. It doesn’t matter what the reason is behind her calls stopping…sometimes things happen. (Like a string of illness in the family which takes up your time. It’s a time when the last thing on your mind is calling a buddy.)

I’ve just been through a similar situation. I stopped hearing from a very long time friend (college, and I’m now 57). I called with no response. Finally, after a couple of calls and messages to call me, I quit. It wasn’t long before she called me and apologized. Sometimes folks just need time to themselves, and we don’t have to explain it to every friend in our address book first.

By Vincent T. Bell

January 4, 2007 09:43 AM | Link to this

Disclaimer - I am not a mom

My opinion on this is that most people tend to be lazy when it comes to friendships. They don’t want to work on a relationship and would rather “move on” to a new one instead. Relationships are very important to life and not trivial things (as the first poster, refering to herself as “TheOne,” believs). Sure our families are to be first priority, but it is in relationships that life is lived. I think Theresa is right to be concerned about these relationships - she appears to be one who actually works on them.

My wife has, time and time again, been the recipient of lazy “friends.” She will make plans, schedule times to meet, etc. only to have these “friends” forget, double book, pretend ignorance, ignore calls, etc.

We’ve been in GA 11 years now and I think this is worse here in the South. When someone says, “Let’s get together for lunch,” it generally means, “Have a nice life and please don’t call me.”

-Vin

By mom too

January 4, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Glad many of you don’t get hurt feelings by things. We live in a very small suburb where everyone knows each other. You can go to school, church and shopping all within 10 minutes from home and always run into people you know. My daughter went to school with several girls all through jr high and high school. They cheered together all 4 years of high school. We moms spent countless hours together. Now a few girls and moms walk right by the others like we’ve never even met. It’s a momentary hurt but puzzling. I too am a transplanted yankee and have seen fewer people down south who are real friends.

By past50mom

January 4, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

mom too, As a mom who has had many friends over the years through PTA, Scouts and my kids’ sports I can tell you that when you haven’t seen people for awhile, you can forget their names, and they can forget yours! If I see someone I remember I go up and say hi, I’m past50mom, and I know we did PTA together, but I’m having a senior moment and have forgotten your name! I have a lot of social friends and close friends. To have a friend, you must BE a friend, go up, say hi, and excuse their lapsed memories!

By past50mom

January 4, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

mom too, I am a native Floridian, but my dad was career military and we moved a lot, so I learned how to make friends wherever I landed. I know it’s harder to make freinds for people who have only made a few moves, and don’t feel at home in their new state. But you are not alone! In metro Atlanta most of the people are NOT native Georgians, not Southern, and are in similar situations to yours.

By Kat

January 4, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Regarding moving: remember that a friend in one situation may not be a friend in another. For example, I once lived on a military base in a remote area. I had one very close female friend because we seemed to have a lot in common. At this particular base, most of the military wives I knew had (maybe) graduated high school, and had achieved their only ambition, which was to get married and have babies. Nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy, but my friend and I were the only college-educated ones in the bunch, and we had a much broader world view. She was the only one I knew who could have a stimulating conversation about something other than kids and husbands. However, once our spouses were out of the military and both of us had relocated to the Atlanta area, it was a different story. Once our friendship was exposed to the real world, we had nothing in common anymore, and I discovered that she had some very unpleasant snobby attitudes. Also, she had a child by that time and he was a royal brat. I’d like to be able to say I was forthright with her, but the truth is, I just let the friendship fade away. Sometimes I think it’s best to just let a friendship die a natural death. It doesn’t have to be a big scene where everone comes clean, just let it go.

By beth

January 4, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Teresa, I commend you because friendships DO take work. And often, having just ONE friend when you move somewhere can make the difference in how you adjust to your surroundings. Believe me, I know.

But try not to take it personal when someone doesn’t call back for awhile, because it likely isn’t YOU.

If the kids don’t want to play with your friend’s kids, no reason why ya’ll can’t still be friends.

As far as mom too’s experience with folks not speaking, I do NOT understand that. I think a smile or a hello is one of the most basic things we as humans can do. It breaks my heart when ANYONE-Northern or Southern chooses not to greet or speak to someone that they know. Or don’t know for that matter.

By Stacey

January 4, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

I don’t really relate to Theresa’s perspective on this issue because I’m not really “friends” with any of my son’s friends parents. We have friendly, casual conversations when we’re together (school functions, birthday parties, etc) but that’s about it. I had him at 30 and most of my friends’ kids are a lot older than mine.

I only have two or three actual “friends”. It would hurt me to lose either of them, especially without explanation.

By theresa

January 4, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

One other point to this and I guess part of why it matters to me — I’m not really to the drop-off playdate point so I usually hang out wtih the mom while the kids play so it does make a difference to like who you’re hanging with.

By Leen

January 4, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Good friends are a treasure. I made my best friends when my sons were young, and even though my family has relocated three times since, those are still the women I keep in touch with. It gets much harder to make real friends when your kids are older. I have made lots of aquaintances here in AT, but no one I can call a real friend. I’m still trying, it takes an effort to make and keep a friend.

By bobthebuilder

January 4, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

Kat: Your “friend” (acquaintance) only seems snobby to you because she went to a better college and has a world view broader than yours. All things are relative.

By slightly scared

January 4, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

anyone else have the image of teresa cooking a rabbitt in the kitchen waiting for the phone to ring? (you cant just ignore me!)

By By Me

January 4, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Theresa i think you have to make one very important distinction: is this YOUR friend or it is a mom of your son’s friend and you just socialize with her because of your son’s playdates. There is a big difference between the two. Friend will accomodate YOU and will stay with YOU. Your son’s friend’s mother is just there because of her child and she accomodates her child needs. Of course, she socializes with you, but likely she would not even be in a contact with you if not her son’s desire to play with your boy.

By the way * i cannot imagine why would you address this issue publicly. Relationships do not get fixed by public exposure. I think it makes this situation even worse for you, your son and other mom. *

By Kay

January 4, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Is this for real. If I am only a friend to someone because our children play, then we dont have much. Therefore why worry about it. I choose my friends because we enjoy each other, have things in common and if our children play thats great. If our children decide not to play, I would still be friends. Thats just the way it is. Kids move on, adults should know better.

By Vincent T. Bell

January 4, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

for “By Me”:

Theresa is a columnist and asking a question - she’s not using this forum as a way to “fix” a relationship. C’mon!

-Vin

By Penguinmom

January 4, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Okay, read the whole article to see that Theresa’s friend did finally get in touch with her.

First, it was December! You Know, School’s Out, Christmas, Shopping, mania! I barely even talked to my sister during that time. If I had a friend who was truly worried because I hadn’t talked to her during the holidays, I’d be worried about how much that friend depends on my relationship with her and would probably start backing off some.
Did you email her? When everyone in my house is sick, I’m not as likely to return calls because our schedules get all messed up. But I can send an email even if it’s 3am and I’m up because the youngest can’t sleep. I am way more likely to return an email no matter what because it is on my time schedule. Calling someone back is a much more of a time committment.

Second, I have never totally ‘dropped’ a friend. I have, however, just not made the effort to try to get together anymore. Her son and my son ended up with totally different interests and her son wasn’t that nice of a kid anyway. Plus, I have had two more children and so our lives don’t mesh as well anymore. I still see and talk to the mom occassionally but I don’t try to set up any type of play date.

btw, this is just a thought based on the responses so far but I wonder if those of us who are more technically savvy and more likely to blog are also those who are more likely to be independent-minded and not worry about friendships as much? Thinking about my non-blogger (i.e. non-technical) friends I can imagine several of them having a similar reaction to Theresa.

By momof3

January 4, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

I think Theresa clearly means this is HER friend, whom she met by way of her children. And I think with children as young as hers, it is a concern. When her kids are older and into their own things with their own schedules, Theresa and her mom friend can get together on their own time — away from the kids — and enjoy their friendship. But at this age, the kids come with the mom — it’s a package deal. So if the kids aren’t getting along for some reason, then the moms will not have much of an opportunity to get together.

I had a mom friend for several years who had two boys the same ages as my two girls. They got along very well, and the mom and I became friends. When they went off to school, I had just had a third child and her boys went to a different school (with a different start and end time). Her days were freed up with the boys in school and I was still taking care of a young baby. We are still friends, but our schedules and lives have taken us in such different directions that we rarely see each other. She’s not my only friend and I completely understand how/why things have turned out the way they have, but I do miss hanging out with her sometimes.

Being a stay-at-home-mom is very rewarding, but it can also be isolating. When you find another mom whose company you enjoy and whose children get along with yours, its understandable that you would want to protect that relationship.

By theresa

January 4, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

let me reiterate that I truly truly like this lady. She’s so much fun and I admire her and appreciate her advise. So we are friends outside of our children — As I said in the blog, I talked with her yesterday about it and totally told her that I was worried she was mad at us or that the kids didn’t want to play — so she knows all this — wouldn’t surprise her in any way — I’m not trying to fix anythng through this — I’m asking what is your expericence in your life — what have you found to be true

By lovelyliz

January 4, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

I have no children and absolutely love, love, love my niece. That said children are not the center of the universe. The world does not revolve around them. True they are very important and should be considered, but children do not have to be involved in everything.

I went through a mutual dumping with a friend because she expected my schedule and activities to reflect that of her child. I don’t want to see every and only kid friendly movies. Chuck-E-Cheese and the like are not places that I want to go to every time we get together for lunch.

Other friends and family with kids were more flexible. We occasionally do things with their kids, but not all the time. If a sitter can’t be found then we put it off until another time.

By By Me

January 4, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

For Vincent T. Bell:

She is presenting her personal problem publicly. This column could have been presented much differently to address the same issue. Her “self” is so hurt that she cannot see pass it and puts her feelings first even in her job.

I assume all of her friends know and read this blog and from here it is not difficult to figure out who she is talking about. Now,this is BAD, no matter how you slice it.

By des

January 4, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Maybe its just me, but I don’t really find the time to spend time with much of anybody but my family. Family time to me is more important than seeing “friends”.

By meme

January 4, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

A mom friend and I are no longer friends because I didn’t agree with the way she disciplined her children.

By danish

January 4, 2007 12:55 PM | Link to this

How about my single friends who disappeared after I had my baby? The ones who were thrilled during my pregnancy and then once I delivered, I never heard from them again?

By Stacey

January 4, 2007 01:15 PM | Link to this

lovelyliz…Your post is on target and made me realize that I may have dumped a friend(acquaintance)for the reasons you stated.

In my “pre-mommy” days I had a group of coworkers (4 of us total) who would get together (outside of work) about once a month for “girl’s night out”. Two of us didn’t have kids, one had teenagers and one had a (5-6 yr old)son. First of all, the kid was a terror and she did not believe in discipline (he needed “freedom” to express himself). She did not like to leave him with a babysitter so we were limited to kid-friendly activities. That was fine sometimes, but other times we wanted to go to a nice restaurant or a play and she would warn us that “Sweetie Pie” was not going to sit still and quiet long enough for that. After about the 3rd or 4th time, we stopped inviting her. We still ate lunch together at work but once she left that company, we lost contact for good.

By Stephanie

January 4, 2007 01:43 PM | Link to this

I understand where Theresa is coming from- my daughter is also not of the age to do drop off playdates yet, and it really does make a differance if the kids and Moms all get along. I have a friend I truly enjoy, and love to do things with, but her children are more aggresive than mine, and playdates often end up with my daughter crying. This makes it difficult to schedule a lot of activities, because I have to balance my enjoyment with that of my daughter. Luckily my friend is aware of the problem (she can see it herself without me saying much) and we try to keep a close watch on the kids when we are together. We are also trying to use it as a occasion to teach both girls how social interactions ‘should’ work- my daughter could be more aggresive and hers could tone it down a bit. We are hoping if they both work on their weaknesses with us there, it will be better for both of them in the long run! But I will say if the girls got along all of the time I would probably be open to doing a lot more with them, which is too bad since I do like the mother a lot. Im pretty sure the mother is aware of that as well, and I feel bad about that, but we do see them on average once a week, so I think that is a good compromise. (They live in my neighborhood, and neither of us work, so theoretically we could be doing stuff together daily without much effort)

Theresa- I met you a couple of summers ago, my daughter Jordan took gymnastics with your son. I have to say at the time I remember thinking I would like to know you better because you seemed like you would be such a great friend! You seemed like a great Mom and lots of fun!

By bellamomma

January 4, 2007 01:50 PM | Link to this

Kat: Your “friend” (acquaintance) only seems snobby to you because she went to a better college and has a world view broader than yours. All things are relative.

bob the builder you are my new best friend!

By southernmommy

January 4, 2007 02:01 PM | Link to this

GOOD GOD PEOPLE! This is insane!

Theresa~ I have been a dumper. I have stoped calling a friend because of the way she was parenting. She could tell I didn’t approve by my actions and we RARELY see each other. The kids are still friends (at 4 however close you can be) but only see each other at birthday parties or when our husbands get together.

I have also been busy and not called or returned a friends call for several weeks.

By Kat

January 4, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

Hey, bobthebuilder: No, the reason she seemed snobby is because she was. A lot like your attitude, in fact. For example, she once opined (there’s a big college word, you might need to look it up) that people who live in apartments should not have children because they obviously aren’t financially stable enough to support them. And she was talking about ALL people in ALL apartments, no matter how nice or expensive. And the fact that everything is relative was my point exactly: sometimes a friend in one situation just doesn’t work in another. Sometimes you just outgrow a friendship. By the way, why on earth do people who don’t like the topic feel obliged to bash Theresa for her choice of topics? If you aren’t interested, don’t participate. That’s fairly simple. Better yet, get your own blog and write only about life-or-death matters that you consider to be of global importance. Otherwise, lighten up, already!

By Jess

January 4, 2007 02:20 PM | Link to this

Every time I read this column, I get agitated. I’m not writing this to be mean…I don’t know if its because of the topics, or if its because everyone that writes in is so self-righteous (except for over5omom)or ignorant or just wanting to make everything negative. Not many people here seem very nice. Most of my “mom” friends were friends from before we were moms. I don’t know why poeple who have no kids continue to write in and procede to make absolutly no sense…. I think that moms that work outside the home might find many of these columns irrelevant because they don’t have the free time to worry about who is friends with whom or if they are getting the cold shoulder or if they are a certain steriotype of a particular type of mom.

By sue

January 4, 2007 02:25 PM | Link to this

My former neighbor used to try to set up play dates for her daughter with my son, but my son really didn’t like the daughter. She was loud, whiney, and bossy and my son would get frustrated with her.

I would sometimes babysit to help the mom out, but would always resist efforts to get them together socially. It was awkward for me, because I really liked the mom and didn’t want to say, “You know, Billy doesn’t really like Sally,” but after too many excuses, I did finally tell her that I didn’t think the kids got along well. She was surprised, and I think a little hurt. She insisted that Sally really did want to play with Billy, so I had her watch my son while I went to a doctor’s appointment or something. When I got there to pick him up, she said, “I see what you mean. They really don’t get along.”

The sad thing was, poor little Sally never did get it. I guess that she got the same reaction from all her friends.

The next time she tried to get them together, was the day moved. She called to ask if it was, “OK” for Sally to come over to say good-bye. When the family moved, we lost touch (even though they only moved 10 miles away). I hated hurting the mom’s feelings, but I hated coming up with excuses, too.

By Jen

January 4, 2007 02:50 PM | Link to this

@Stacy: “I had him at 30 and most of my friends’ kids are a lot older than mine.”

Boy, where do you live? You need to move to my neighborhood. You’d be just shy of the young side of motherhood.

My husband and I married at 23 and had our son at 26. We’re both professionals now at 32 (me with MS and him with PhD) and live in the Big City. I find that our son’s peers’ parents are anywhere from 7 to 10 years older than us. Most of them are professionals, too, only they didn’t get carried away after a Christmas party 6 years ago….but I digress.

As a result of this age disparity I am not friends (though we are friendly) with any of them. Not because we don’t wish to know them better but because I think:

(1) They’re a few steps ahead of us financially and career-wise (2) They’re taken aback by our youth and perceive it as a maturity issue (though I find being parents of kids the same age is a great leveler)

And they might not be wrong, not completely.

So, I have made no friends through my son despite how he’s a very popular child at school. I have two 40something friends who have no plans to have children, two friends (one male) with infants, and one friend with a teenager (she’s 51).

Also, as a working mother (where I work outside of the home) there are no playdates. The closest thing to it is when I go over to my 51 year old friend’s house to visit her and bring my son along. He loves her son like an older brother and since her son is an only child he gets a kick out of playing older brother for a few hours.

As to the topic at hand, I’ve dumped friends, but it’s because of something about them that I didn’t like. And of course after having a child I lost a bunch of casual single friends. However, I’ve never dumped a friend because my son no longer like them or their child. But then again I don’t think there’s anyone that kid doesn’t like….

By Fulton County Mom

January 4, 2007 03:30 PM | Link to this

This is silly. I am sure there a better things to talk about.

Yes, I have friends who are parents…some that I met through my child knowing theirs first.

My gracious you sound worse than a HS person looking for a date…he “looked at me’ what do you think that means? Maybe she is just not that in to you..

By Stacey

January 4, 2007 03:31 PM | Link to this

Kat…I was in no way bashing Theresa with my post. I simply said that I didn’t relate to this particular situation. I often agree totally with what she says but sometimes I don’t. IMO the point of the blog is to find out how others relate. I would hope that doesn’t mean that opposing views aren’t welcome.

Jen…I guess I should have clarified something. I’m the “baby” in my circle of friends. Everyone else is 7-12 years older than I am (one has a granddaughter who’s older than my son). One of them has a child who is 6 years older than mine, but 6 years is a long time in kids when one is interested “Pokemon” and the other “Blue’s Clues”.

By MP

January 4, 2007 03:43 PM | Link to this

I think that women just sometimes have a hard time being friends. In a woman’s life she is always being judged or judging another woman’s behavior, looks, parenting skills, bank account, etc. It is harder if you are a stay at home mom. I had met someone over the summer who I really liked at first but my kids really disliked her kids. The more we were around them the more I started looking at her parenting skills and realizing why her kids were brats. Of course because we are both stay at home moms there was the “Which husband makes more money” problem. I would never disclose what we make and that would just drive her crazy. When they ordered pizza she had to brag about how much it cost. I’m sorry but if you paid $75 for 3 pizzas you are too stupid to have kids. That was the end of that.

By des

January 4, 2007 03:47 PM | Link to this

Fultoncomom, I’m with you. There are more important issues in raising children. This social stuff drives me crazy.

By ABS

January 4, 2007 04:06 PM | Link to this

I am the mother of three kids, ages 10, 13, and 16 and my husband and I definitely have OUR OWN FRIENDS!!!! My social life does not revolve around my kids….that’s sad if it does! Of course our friends have children of similar age and my kids hang out with these other kids when we are together, but those aren’t my kids best friends. I like some of the parents of my kids’ friends, but no way would I be social with them….that’s just too weird. I don’t have that much in common with many of these parents except that we are parents and when I go out with my friends I like to talk about things I’m interested in (art, music, politics) not about what my kids are doing! Yikes!

By Iamwoman

January 4, 2007 04:53 PM | Link to this

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso: Get a Life..People have several issues going on and life does not revolve around you…

By GR

January 4, 2007 05:10 PM | Link to this

Theresa and posters -

Thanks so much for the great blog and comments. I’m a transplanted Yankee, over-40 stay at home mom with a son with mild special needs and though I have some great friends - mom and not, I am generally perplexed about how hard it is to find and keep them.
Now I know I am not alone.

By fk

January 4, 2007 06:59 PM | Link to this

I wonder if all of these opinionated people have true friends? My husband and I were “transplants” to Atl. back in 1990. I have several friends from childhood, high school and college, thus, it was very difficult for me to leave my family and friends behind. I became a sahm as I was halfway thru my pregancey when we moved. I met acquaintances through the years, but I did not meet my “real” friends here until my son went to elementary school. There are four of us. When you make that connection, you know it. Our children are now in high school and move in different social circles, but we moms still get together at least once a month, and communicate often. And, there is a much broader friendship base as well, but these women are my inner circle. We come from different areas as well…WA, OK, FL & NY. I am still close with my old friends. Our lives move at different paces…a couple of them have much younger children, so it’s hard to keep up as we have opposite schedules. TG for email! Friendship is not about competition, it’s about connecting.

By Magenta

January 4, 2007 07:37 PM | Link to this

Mom-friendships can certainly be tricky. Kids are so unpredictable in their behavior…you can love the mom but occasionally not love her offspring. I’ve had a couple of mom-friendships that ended for just that reason (in both directions). However, I also have one very good friend named Jenny, who I would not have ever met if her daughter had not been my son’s kindergarten classmate. That was over 10 years ago. I think we both had the mindset that sooner or later our kids would grow up, so their little peccadilloes weren’t something we needed to stress over. It’s worked out extremely well.

By meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

January 5, 2007 06:30 AM | Link to this

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By Friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend

January 5, 2007 06:34 AM | Link to this

Whine whine whine…nag nag nag

By Live Love Learn

January 5, 2007 06:38 AM | Link to this

Old or young, I’ve found that most people mean-spirited, egotistical, prima-donnas….It’s all about the “me” generation.

By Ya'll

January 5, 2007 06:43 AM | Link to this

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “HOLY SH*T…WHAT A RIDE!!!

By Georgia Cowboy

January 5, 2007 06:48 AM | Link to this

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By milf hunter

January 5, 2007 06:51 AM | Link to this

Are their any milf on here? Heh heh.

By To Peter P

January 5, 2007 09:13 AM | Link to this

Reverse of this discussion of friends fading, my wife and I have been networking with new friends over the past few years. We plan to have a child in two years and are looking for like-minded people who we know and reaching out to those we do not know very well.

Today is my 36th Birthday, and I have been a lifelong happy-go-lucky fellow who has friends in high and low places and have long embraced them all as my own network. However, as I began to build my life with my then girlfriend and now wife, I began to cull those whose were less savory reserving them for the four drinking holidays throughout the year - Halloween, xmas, New Year’s, St. Pattys, 4th of July. Now that I am married I realize that my liver needs a vacation from these people and so do I as a person, husband and someday father.

Many of my friends are doing likewise and I have been fortunate to attend a steady stream of successive marraiges and civil unions of my dearest friends who also have plans to create or adopt children in the following years.

My wife is looking specifically for future moms with whom she can communicate and share with, while I have been a bit different in my approach. I really have no need for father-to-father relationships as most of these guys have been my friends for years. I am looking for the most elusive of treasure, the nine-to-ten year old daughter of older married couples.

YES!

Through building a relationship with these friends I hope to draft these minors from the farm league into professional babysitters once our future children come of age knowing that these kids are liable to do their best given our family’s mutual relationship to do well. I vow to pay handsomely for that kind of trusted asset!

Tales of a now 36-year-old newlywed…

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