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December 2006
New New Year tradition — embracing my mess!
Don't waste time and energy apologizing for your messy house. Behold the Clutter Utopia!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I am not a spring cleaner. However, I am an after-Christmas organizer.
This is not completely by choice. It is mostly a forced march that after 12 years of marriage I know is expected.
Apparently, my husband is not alone in this after-Christmas cleaning quest. I learned from a recent New York Times story that January is now “Get Organized Month.” (Hooray!)
Surprisingly, this article didn’t focus on how to become a more effective organizer in the new year. Instead it highlighted a new movement — the anti-anti-clutter movement. The story was chock full of experts telling people to say yes to their mess and not to clean at all!
What a relief. Finally someone (with an actual degree) who understands me. Finally someone who is willing to let me off the hook and allow me to embrace my true nature of slothfulness!
The Dec. 21 article referred to many studies that show that messy desks are signs of people with creative and limber minds. It said that messy closet owners were probably better and nicer parents than their tidier peers.
The article goes on to say that mess apologists sould stop wasting time and energy feeling ashamed of their clutter. There are many more worthy things to worry about and devote their time to — like their families. (Here’s the full story.)
So is that it? Does this mean I can give in to my lifetime struggle of trying to force myself to be somewhat tidy when I really just want to leave my clothes on the floor and my dishes by the side of the bed?
As much as I want to embrace this as our new family policy, I fear things would get out of hand.
Even when I’m trying to be organized, I still can’t find things. Currently, my checkbook has been missing for 16 days. I also can’t find an important receipt for a return to Toys ‘R’ Us and somewhere in my house are rolls of wrapping paper that I put in a “safe” place so my son would stop messing with them.
Even though I want to believe in a Clutter Utopia, my logical side tells me I cannot give up and go hardcore messy. This is not a realistic way for a soon-to-be family of five to operate.
It pains me to say it, but there must be a system. There must be order and a method to running your household and your family.
However, I would also argue for moderation. Families should find a balance between a clean house and one where kids can play. They need to devote some time to organizing but also leave time just to be with their kids.
For example, I made two vegetables to take to my mother’s house for Christmas dinner. I ran out of time and made a decision to leave the dirty dishes in the sink. We were already 15 minutes late when my husband came downstairs and saw the dishes. He told me to go on with the children, and he would follow after he cleaned the dishes. He would rather miss seeing his children opening Christmas presents than leave the kitchen disorderly.
Now I think those are messed up priorities, probably the result of something goofy in his wiring. He would counter that he recently found a plate and chocolate wrappers inside the drawer of my bedside table, and that is screwed up. (It was a very small plate.)
While The New York Times article made me feel better, I think I’ll have to keep up the good fight. I’ll try to keep the public places in our house neat and tidy and continue to stash things in my off-limits underwear drawer. And hopefully, that darn wrapping paper will turn up before next Christmas.
Do you think mess indicates creativeness and real living or just laziness? What is your standard of cleanliness and organization in your home? Who dictates that standard? Do you think that a Clutter Utopia could work for a family?
Permalink | Comments (37) | Categories: Family Life
When is Christmas over?
Have you already taken down your decorations? Does it break your kids’ hearts?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It was just a week ago that we finally got all our decorations just the way we wanted them and now my husband is ready to rip everything down.
I’m just not ready for Christmas to be over yet and neither are our kids. We have a fake tree – it’s not like it’s a dried out fire hazard. There’s no reason other than he’s just ready to be done with it that we need to take anything down yet.
When will you take down your decorations? What dictates when it’s time? Do you think the kids care when the tree comes down or the Nativity scene is put away? Do your neighbors care how long your lights stay up outside?
Permalink | Comments (14) | Categories: Family Life
Do nannies discriminate against blacks?
A new article from The New York Times suggests that African-American families do not have the same access to nannies as other races.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A story in yesterday’s New York Times examines whether African-American families are discriminated against when trying to hire nannies. Here’s the full story.
The Times reports:
After interviewing nannies and their agencies in Atlanta, Chicago, New York and Houston, it found that many African-American- and Caribbean-descent nannies did not want to work for families of their same background. They accused the families of low pay, fears the employer would look down on them and fears that the neighborhood would be unsafe.
“ ‘Very rarely will an African-American woman work for an African-American boss,’ said Pat Cascio, the owner of Morningside Nannies in Houston and the president of the International Nanny Association.”
“Many of the African-American nannies who make up 40 percent of her work force fear that people of their own color will be ‘uppity and demanding,’ said Ms. Cascio, who is white. After interviews, she said, those nannies ‘will call us and say, ‘Why didn’t you tell me’ the family is black?”
What do you think: Do Atlanta African-Americans have a harder time than other races hiring nannies? What have your personal experiences been hiring nannies? Do they seem to care what race their employer is?
Permalink | Comments (24) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Christmas break means precious time with kids
How do you celebrate your kids being out of school for the holidays?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have been counting down the days – not the days until Christmas but the days until my kids got out for Christmas break.
I know the highlight of the season for my children, like many, is opening presents Christmas morning, but for me it’s having them home for almost two weeks with no schedules to keep and lots of fun to be had.
I didn’t realize how much real school would change our lives.
Much to my husband’s chagrin, we’ve never been a particularly scheduled family. Dinner and bed times floated depending on the day’s activities. The kids and I rarely used an alarm clock before this year because even the biggest sleepyhead can make it to preschool by 9:30 a.m. (I was actually late some.)
But now that my daughter is in kindergarten, it’s 7:30 to bed and 7:30 to rise. Dinner time is set, as is bath and lights out. There is precious little time to lay about, cuddle and play.
So my plan for the holiday break involves no formal plans at all.
I want them to stay in their pajamas all morning and drink hot cocoa with gobs of whipping cream floating atop. I want to cook Saturday-morning-worthy breakfasts on the weekdays – chocolate chip pancakes or sweet rolls smothered in icing.
I want to curl up on the couch with them and read “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!,” “’Twas the Night before Christmas” and other favorite holiday tales over and over again without bedtime bearing down on us.
I want them to imagine their own Christmas stories. My daughter’s tooth is loose and she is already working on a tale about the Tooth Fairy coming on the same night as Santa Claus. (Consider this copyrighted.)
I want to make buttery popcorn and watch all those Christmas specials we’ve recorded during the last few weeks.
I want us to figure out how to cut delicate snowflakes from paper, something I have never been able to do, and decorate them with lots of messy glitter. I want to build reams of colorful construction paper chains to drape over doorways and across our mantel.
And I want the kids to bake!
My kids love to help me in the kitchen. They love to measure the ingredients, stir the batter, run the standing mixer and of course taste-test whatever we’re creating.
My 5-year-old daughter will tell you we only use pasteurized eggs when we’re baking so we can always eat our dough. (She actually uses the word “pasteurized.”)
My Godmother sent us an early Christmas present of 3-D cookie cutters that we’re dying to try out. You can make reindeer, Christmas trees and even a sleigh that stand up on their own. She also sent rocket ship and race car cutters that my son is excited to see in action.
I want to make big batches of frosting to tint and squeeze out of pastry bags all over our cookie creations. And we also have special seasonal sprinkles when we need a little extra color.
When my little guy is ready for a rest, my daughter and I will tackle some tougher holiday recipes – like chocolate truffles. We’ve never made them before, and I think my daughter will enjoy rolling the chocolate in her hands and dipping them in ganache and nuts.
I want my kids to have happy memories of Christmas beyond just one morning of ripping open wrapping paper. I feel so lucky to have this time with them, and I want to make the most of it.
What are your special plans for Christmas break? What are your family’s holiday traditions? What do your children enjoy doing in their downtime from school?
Permalink | Comments (23) | Categories: Family Life
Do you want a white Christmas?
Have your kids ever seen snow? Do they want a white Christmas?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We had a little bit of snow the winter before my son turned 1. I don’t think we’ve had it since or at least he has no recollection of it. He really wants to see snow!
I would love to have a white Christmas. (Obviously not Colorado’s version.) Other than wrapping, all our tasks are done. I would love for the kids to watch the snowflakes fall and be able to play in the fluffy stuff. I guess the only catch would be getting to church.
We’ve even talked about driving up for the day to North Carolina so my son could see some snow during the holiday break.
Are your kids fascinated with snow? Do you think snow would improve a Georgia Christmas or is that the beauty of it – no snow?
Permalink | Comments (57) | Categories: Family Life
What seasonal outings are best with kids?
What are the best places around Atlanta (or beyond) to take kids during the holidays?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
What are your family’s favorite outings for the holidays? Do you go to the same places every year, or do you try to mix it up? Do you just go with your immediate family or do you try to involve cousins or grandparents?
What is worth your family’s time and money?
We’ve done the Callaway Garden light show and froze our bottoms off in the open-air trolley. (My mother doesn’t like to drive through in your warm car.) We’ve done the Stone Mountain Christmas village two years in a row. (Kids liked it pretty well. Expensive but close by.) My husband took my daughter to the “Nutcracker” last year at the Fox. (She really loved it!). But so far this year we haven’t done anything. I wondered about some of the stuff up in North Georgia. The AJC had a whole special section on different outings in small towns in North Georgia.
Tell us your best and worst experiences with holiday outings with kids, and what places you would recommend the most.
Permalink | Comments (28) | Categories: Family Life
How much will you spend on kids’ gifts?
Do you set a price limit or base it on the number of gifts? How many come from Santa? How many from you?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
How much will you spend on your kids’ gifts this holiday season? Do you set a limit on the amount you will spend for each child? Do you set a number of presents you will buy? (Like each child will get three.) Do you worry about keeping it equal between each child or do you think they would even notice?
Do all the presents come from you or do some come from Santa? Which ones do you wrap?
Do you buy presents for your kids to give to each other? Do they help choose or do you just pick?
Permalink | Comments (114) | Categories: Family Life
Real estate signs differ for a child
Did your children help you pick your house? How did your kids handle moving?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
House hunting with a 3-year-old If he strips off all his clothes this is the house you should buy With my burgeoning belly as a constant reminder that we will soon need more living space, we have been trying to decide between adding on or buying a bigger home close-by.
When we bought our house eight years ago, we had just moved back from Manhattan. In New York we had a 700-square-foot studio apartment (it was just one room —no separate bedroom) for which we paid $1,675 a month. Our new house had three bedrooms; more than 2,000 square feet and we were paying less for our mortgage than we did for our rent. We thought it was palatial. We would never have predicted we could fill it so quickly.
I have spent the last few months looking at houses. I was’t sure in the beginning how my 3-year-old son would do walking through other people’s homes. I mostly worried he would break things or put sticky fingers on their walls. So far he hasn’t destroyed anyone’s property, but there have been a few incidents.
In the first house we checked out, he was following me through the rooms — hallway, kitchen, the family room. In the family room I turned around and saw him eating a pear. He had taken it from a bowl on the owner’s kitchen counter. I was so embarrassed. A few minutes later, he found a bowl of candy. Now he thinks each house is a potential bonanza of goodies for him to nibble on.
In one house, he liked the grown boy’s room. He hung out in there, turning on the guy’s stereo system, checking out his sports memorabilia. He even tried to drink the guy’s souvenir Coke. He also liked the hunting rifle hung on the wall. Momma didn’t.
As we enter each house, his radar hones in on potential toys. Most of the houses we’re looking at are 20 to 30 years old and owned by retirees whose children are grown and gone. There usually are old toys in basements or bonus rooms, and my son thinks he’s found a treasure chest each time. One home had buckets and buckets of Legos. Another had a pinball machine.
My son is actually a pretty good barometer for forecasting if the house would be good for our family. If he strips off his clothes and runs around in just his undies, then I know he feels comfortable. (He’s only done it once so far. I’m glad we have a realtor with a good sense of humor.) Sometimes I get there ahead of the realtor so we can check out the backyard. If he’s happy spending a lot of time poking around then I know it’s a good one.
My new rule of thumb is if I lose the little guy in the house while walking around then it’s too big for us. This actually has happened.
There are other signs a house is not for us, and they generally involve death-defying decks or catwalks as hallways. That first house we visited had a three-deck system leading down to a pool (another no-no in my book). As soon as we stepped onto the deck, my son put his toe on the ledge and leaned way over the top rail to look at the pool. It was a three-story drop. I was like “O.K. that’s it. We’re out of here.” Big scary decks are a total deal breaker.
As are catwalks masquerading as hallways. We looked at one immaculate house, but it had this open-railed hallway that ran over the family room. All I could see was my two children yelling “bombs away,” or worse yet the new baby crawling though the rails.
My little guy was enthusiastic about the search until we found a serious possiblity. He broke my heart with the “Momma, I don’t want to move. I want to stay in my house. I want my backyard and my play set.” (Someone beat us to the house, so he was saved.)
His fear of moving has even forced him to embrace my pregnancy. “The baby can sleep in my room,” he bargains. Well, at least he’s willing to share.
Have you ever had to house hunt with your kids? Did they help you decide which house was best? How did your kids handle moving? How did you ease the stress? Have you ever added on to a house as your family grew? How was that experience?
Are your kids BlackBerry orphans?
Is all that pecking away interfering with your family time? Are your kids noticing?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Do you have a CrackBerry habit? Are you constantly checking or typing on your BlackBerry or Treo while at home with your family? While businesses may think it’s great that they can get a message to their employees any time, any place, the BlackBerry appears to be causing problems for some families. The kids are noticing that mom or dad aren’t paying attention to them because they’re too busy responding to e-mails from work.
Check out this story that ran in The Wall Street Journal about the trend. There are several sources in the story from Atlanta.
I know my husband is constantly pecking away. He doesn’t do it so much with the kids but more when he’s talking to me (or rather when I’m talking to him!!) It is very annoying!
Do you have a problem with this? Is your BlackBerry interfering with your family time? Have your kids or wife (husband) ever said anything about it? Do you wish you never got the thing?
(By the way, just wanted to wish all our Jewish friends a very happy Hanukkah!)
Permalink | Comments (22) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
How much say does the stepparent get?
Is your second husband allowed to discipline your child from the first marriage? How much say do they get in rearing the child?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
By popular demand, I give you Melanie’s question from yesterday about stepparenting: In your second marriage, does your spouse discipline your kids (not biologically his) or is it mainly your deal?
Lynn further added with this scenario: How is the new daddy supposed to raise the stepchildren without saying a word? My ex told me yesterday my new hubby should never even say a word (which most the time he doesn’t) when we are arguing just because he told my daughter she shouldn’t talk to her mother that way. I think he was right in line at the time but the ex doesn’t see it that way. How can we raise the children when it’s one-sided? I feel like he pays to raise her and she lives in a home provided by him so what’s wrong with a little advise just because he’s not her bio father?
So how does it work in your house? How much say do stepparents get? Do the children or teens respect what the stepparent says? Does their financial contribution to the new home earn them more say as a stepparent? Why would the ex object to them parenting if they are married to the mother? (I can kind of see where an ex wouldn’t want just a boyfriend interfering.)
Permalink | Comments (164) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
Cupcake controversy: Tasty treat or Evil?
Should kids be allowed to bring cupcakes to school for celebrations or are they health threats?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Washington Post reported yesterday that many schools across the nation are banning cupcakes as they try to enforce new federal “wellness policies.” The argument goes that as more kids are obese, diabetic and have life-threatening allergies the cupcake needs to be limited or removed from their school diet. (Here’s the full story.)
The Post says it’s not the kids that seem to be fighting it the most, it’s the parents. Here’s a quote from the story:
“ ‘The cupcake-as-symbol-of-childhood is powerful: It’s wrapped in the cultural definition of what it means to be a good mother, something that’s a moving target in this society,’ said Kathryn Oths, an anthropologist at the University of Alabama who studies food and culture.
‘I don’t have children. But I guarantee that if I did, I’d make them cupcakes for their birthdays,’ she said. ‘It’s just ingrained in us as the proper thing to do.’
So when that cultural norm is threatened by cupcake bans, she argued, people feel compelled to rally to its defense.
‘Think about it. Banning cupcakes is almost like an assault on the national identity,’ Oths said.”
One of my friends had mentioned earlier this year that her school in Forsyth County had asked the mothers to only bring in store-bought treats. She believed the motivation was to help limit treats, reduce possible food allergies and to be sure the food was safe. More recently, they were told to combine all birthday celebrations into one a month — so less cupcakes are being brought to class.
What do you think: Are cupcakes an American tradition that should be allowed to continue in our schools or are they a health threat that should be limited to one party a month or even banned?
Permalink | Comments (59) | Categories: Ethics of rearing kids today
What not to say to a pregnant woman
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There are times in a woman’s life when her husband needs to tip-toe a little and really think before he speaks. Pregnancy is definitely one of those times.
Despite knowing that a woman has to be sensitive about her ever-growing size and that she is on a hormonal roller coaster (They do know this, don’t they?), many men still manage to say the stupidest things.
Even though this is my third pregnancy, my husband has managed to step in it on several occasions. Here is a quick sample:
A few weeks ago, I was searching the closet for something to put on my “blossoming” body. I asked him where his purple sweater was. He just stared at me and said, “You can’t fit in that!”
Earlier in November, I asked him about driving down to Florida to let the kids visit his father. He said, “I don’t like to travel with you when you’re like this.” “Like what,” I said. He replied, “Pregnant.”
My husband may not rank high on the sensitivity scale, but he’s far from the worst judging by the responses I got last week on-line when I asked for best-worst pregnancy comments by a man. We had more than 160 posts, many of them from men. Here are some of the highlights (or lowlights) with the commentors screen name:
By Kristi — When I was two weeks from having our first child, my husband watched me walk down the hallway and said, “I’d love to see you in a penguin suit.” We had friends over and the husband looked at him and told my darling husband “She will never forget that for the rest of her life - idiot!” We all laughed but I have never forgotten it.
By CD – My husband said: “Gee, I can’t wait ’till you have this baby. Then you can go back on your full dose of medication.” (i.e., antidepressants).
By Joe — When my former-size-4 wife was pregnant the first time she packed on the weight fast. She was sitting in front of the TV one day with a half-gallon of ice-cream and a spoon eating it from the container. I asked her if she planned on eating this way for the next five months. She gave the standard reply that she was eating for two, and I asked for two what, two NFL linebackers. She threw the ice cream at me. She must have forgotten that when she first discovered she was pregnant she told me, “Don’t let me get out of control eating. Say something if I start to get that way.” With the second child I never said a word no matter what I saw her eat. I just let it go — like she did her figure.
By Reba — The worst comment I received while I was pregnant came from my manager. During a staff meeting, he stopped mid-sentence to chuckle and announce to the room, “Reba, you look sooo pregnant today!” I was 7 months along—hello?? I had no idea how to respond to that. Did he think it was a compliment? Why was it necessary in the midst of a business meeting? Luckily no one else was ridiculous enough to chime in.
By MsYvone — Right before I became pregnant, I was on Weight Watchers, and it wasn’t a big secret at work. At three months I announced that I was, in fact, pregnant. At about five-months pregnant, one of my very sweet, but very clueless (when it comes to women) co-workers, Scott, confessed to me that he had forgotten that I was pregnant, but had remembered I was on Weight Watchers. He said he had spotted me the other day and thought to himself, “Man, I bet she’s unhappy with the way that’s going!” Then he said, he remembered later that I was pregnant. It’s one thing to think it, but what makes him think I want to hear that? Then he added, “Man, you’re gonna be huge!” Thanks. Thanks a lot, Scott.
Finally, several of you commented that your husbands asked if the baby was theirs. I guess I should be grateful that my husband is just commenting on my weight.
Does your child believe in Santa?
When did he stop believing? Do you try to perpetuate the fantasy? What do you tell younger sibs when their older sister figures it out?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
You guys clearly wanted to talk about Santa yesterday. So here is the Santa topic courtesy of Stacey:
Do your kids believe in Santa Claus? How long did they believe? How did they find out the truth? What was their reaction? How do you handle younger sibs when the older sibs know? Did you do much to perpetuate the fantasy of Santa? Did it change the holiday when Santa was gone?
My mother went to great lengths to perpetuate Santa at our house. One year she even tracked soot on big men work boots all across the family room carpet so we would believe he was there.
A nun broke the news to my brother in the fifth grade. He was absolutely heart-broken and my mom was super mad at that nun.
Permalink | Comments (127) | Categories: Family Life
Where are you hiding the presents?
Do your kids snoop around? Are the presents in the house, in the car, at a neighbor’s house?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for repeatedly taking a Game Boy from its Christmas hiding place at his great-grandmother’s house and playing with it, according to an Associated Press story. Here’s the full story.
“ ‘My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months,’ said the boy’s mother, Brandi Ervin. ‘It was only to teach my son a lesson. He’s been going through life doing things …and getting away with it.’”
There are a lot of other issues going on with this family, but the story made me wonder where are YOU hiding the presents? Do your kids hunt for them? Is it a challenge every year or as long as they aren’t in the open you’re OK?
This is the first year I’ve really tried to hide the presents. They are currently in the attic. (Our kids rummage through closets on a regular basis.) My mom always used to put presents in locked luggage in her closet, which I think is brilliant. My friend reports a self-storage place near her was advertising, “Rent your Santa Hiding Place Here.”
Where is your best hiding spot?
Permalink | Comments (69) | Categories: Family Life
Can young kids really question their gender?
Would you support them if did?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The New York Times published a story a few days ago about young children that tend to favor behaving like the opposite gender. The story talks about how the children express these tendencies, and how their parents and schools are handling it. Here is the full story. It is long, but well-worth your time.
I honestly have never read anything like this. You hear about it with adults and teens, but I find young children struggling with their gender surprising. All children role play. Many children try to wear inappropriate things. (I used to love to wear sandals in the winter and my little guy loves wearing my heels. I don’t think this indicates more than he likes to hear the clomping noise on the bathroom floor.) But should the parents tell their child, “No, a skirt is not appropriate for a boy” or let him wear what he is comfortable in?
And where does the peer pressure we discussed yesterday play into this? I think a parents’ instinct is to protect their child from ridicule, but at what cost? Should the child then feel badly about the gender they identify with? Can a child really know who they identify with?
What do you make of this story? How would you handle as a parent?
Permalink | Comments (95) | Categories: Health
Premature aging hits the pre-tween set
How do we keep give our kids a childhood without making them into outcast fuddy-duddies?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Is 10 the new 15; 4 the new 10?
An Associated Press story last week reported that tweens, kids ages 8 to 12, are dressing more provocatively than their predecessors, talking on cell phones, listening to sexually-charged pop music and playing mature video games.
The story had anecdotal and scientific evidence to support these conclusions. However, I don’t think any mother who has ever been to a mall needs a scientist to tell her that tweens are acting more like teens.
I think the more shocking angle to this trend, and one that deserves to be examined by researchers, is that the process of premature aging is trickling down to an even younger generation – the preschoolers.
Researchers need to get out their little notebooks and study the 4-year-old queen bee who was in my daughter’s class last year. She intimidated and isolated the other girls based on what hair bows they were wearing or if they had sparkles on their T-shirts.
They should make a few phone calls to the Sesame Workshop and ask why a “Sesame Street” episode last week showed a young teenage girl teaching preschoolers dance moves that were a little too provocative for 3-year-olds.
They should call Disney and find out why the company is trying to convince us that our 6-year-olds need cell phones. (According to news reports, Disney is targeting 8- to 12-year-olds, but some ads focus on children who appear younger than 8.) Who in the heck are 6- and 8-year-olds calling, and when are they in a place where they wouldn’t have access to a phone to reach their parents?
A researchers could do an entire doctoral thesis on the phenomenon of the Bratz dolls and the copycat My Scene My Bling Bling Barbie dolls. If you haven’t seen a Bratz doll let me enlighten you: Think of a streetwalker – big hair, lots of eye makeup, big jewelry, tight or skimpy clothes. This is a doll for little girls to play with and emulate?
And in case 3 and 4-year old weren’t already enticed by the dolls they see in the stores or in ads, the company is now marketing Bratz Kidz and Bratz Babyz. These versions have slightly less make-up and slightly less revealing outfits. That should make you feel better about purchasing one for your preschooler.
The AP story noted that “tweens represent $51 billion worth of annual spending power on their own from gifts and allowance, and also have a great deal of say about the additional $170 billion spent directly on them each year.” I don’t know what the figures are for younger children, but I’m pretty sure they are way up there, too.
The wire story on tweens also observed that “technology and consumerism have accelerated the pace of life, giving kids easy access to influences that may or may not be parent-approved.”
This, too, applies to pre-tweens judging by our household. My 3-year-old son loves to play on the computer. It is in our kitchen, and he plays on sites such as Noggin, Nick Jr. and PBS Kids site while I am close at hand. For good behavior he can play some on the Cartoon Network site. My son has seen ads and games for a show called “Ben 10,” that airs on Cartoon Network. He knows he is not allowed to watch it. However, he has figured out how to pull up video clips of the show on the computer to get around my rule. My son and I routinely have this conversation: I say, “How old are you?” He says, “3” and holds up his little fingers. I say. “Right you are 3, not 10. You can have that (insert the multitude of inappropriate toys he has asked for) when you are 10.”
I feel I am in a constant battle to remind my children to be kids. I want them to ride their bikes, knead Play-Doh, chase the dog and build with blocks. As parents we are the gatekeepers. We can control what kids see and hear in our homes, but what happens when they head into the preschool and elementary school environment? How do you counteract the barrage of age-inappropriate influences from their peers, media and society in general?
You can’t say THAT to a pregnant lady!
What are the worst things a man has ever said to you when you were pregnant?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My husband really stepped in it last week. I was searching the closet for something to put on my “blossoming” body and asked him where his purple sweater was. He just stared at me and said, “You can’t fit in that!”
Now it might have been true, but the wise man would have lovingly handed over his sweater and let the pregnant wife figure that out for herself. Besides wanting to beat him (which I did not do), that comment resulted in a shopping spree to the maternity store for more shirts and sweaters.
Earlier in November I had talked with him about taking the children down to see his father before the baby comes. They have not seen his father in almost two years. His answer was, “I don’t like traveling with you when you’re like this.”
“Like what?” I said.
His reply, “Pregnant.”
(He thinks he’s currently helping his case by standing over my shoulder while I’m writing this saying, “Tell them it’s because you whine and complain a lot.” — Thanks honey!)
I’m working on a possible column about the worst things men have said to pregnant ladies. Tell me your best worst comments. They may be included in a later column.
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