MOMania

By past50mom

November 21, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this

If your kids are in Gwinnett Co. schools, you had better lie. Even when my high school junior son went to Paris to visit his sister who was studying abroad, we were told to lie by the attendance office staff. So officially he was sick, but his teachers all knew he had gone to Paris. He only missed 3 days of school becuase it was over a spring break. STUPID rules and policies that won’t allow an intelligent reason for an excused absence. He learned and saw more history in his 10 day trip than he probably learned the rest of the year!

By TheOne

November 21, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this

Come on now!! I can see this being abused ridiculously like many other priviledges. I strictly stand by the “No Unnecessary Absences” rule in my house. Now if the absence is for an educational reason, fine….including travel.

What I want to know is what happened to the days of getting perfect attendance? Of being in school when school is in session so that you don’t miss out on important info and events?

We are truly sending the WRONG message to our kids….who trust me, will only use these same excuses and tactics in life.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

Son goes to private so we don’t have to lie when we pull him out. He is a staight A student so we have no problem pulling him out of school for special events and family trips.
He always completes his work ahead of time or takes it with him. Forget those striving for perfect attendance, those are the ones that come to school and spread strep,colds and flu bugs.

By HL

November 21, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

I am so glad I grew up in the Midwest in a school district that let parents determine when the kids would be in school. My mom never felt that we HAD to be there if we did not feel like it. As long as there were no tests that day, our grades were good and we cleaned her kitchen we could stay home. She remembered as a kid needing a break and her mom wouldn’t let her. She was to go to CA during the 5th grade, but got sick with mono a few months before the trip and missed school. Her parents went to CA and left her home to attend school. At Parent/Teacher Conferences the teacher asked my grandma what happened to the trip because my mom had talked about all the time and then the teacher didn’t hear any more. My grandma said we didn’t take her because she had already missed so much school. The teacher told my grandma that my mom would have learned more in that trip than she would have being in school. This was the early 60’s. People back then hardly got on an airplane to go cross country. She would have been flying from NY to CA.

So, when my child is old enough and we do not have the days off I will take him out if we are going to be doing something. If it becomes to big of a problem, then we will find a school that works for us.

I think they are trying to cut back on truency or something with these dumb rules, but really the parents should be able to determine whether the child attends or not.

If you think kids shouldn’t get a break, then I hope you NEVER use a sick or vacation day from work because you are tired or feel a sniffle. I can understand not being leinent if your child is a poor performer. But, if your child is doing well and you know where he is, then why not???

By HL

November 21, 2006 09:42 AM | Link to this

I am with Stayinvolved. I wrote a big long post and the AJC ate it!

By HL

November 21, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this

TheOne - do you not ever take a sick day from work or a vacation day???

By scott

November 21, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Students get more than enough days to plan trips. In fact Fulton County has already approved and posted the school calendar for next year. If you want to pull your kid, fine, but do not cry foul when they have to make up 2 to 3 days worth of work for 6 classes. Believe it or not teachers continue to teach and students continue to learn while your child is away on their educational trip. Your child really misses a lot of material if their schoool is on block scheduling which is like doubling the amount of days you actually miss. When the kids finally do return the parents want the teachers to bend over backwards and accomodate their child for all of the missed class work; not taking into account the students who actually attended school.

By HL

November 21, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

Never mind…it posted it…

By lwa

November 21, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

If I as a parent give my student permission to miss school, then it is approved. Yes, there are some parents who may or may not care, then you have to look at it on an individual basis.

In the spring, my kids had an opportunity to attend the White House Easter egg roll. I sent a note ahead of time stating that they were going to attend this event and would be out of school for 2 days. The “public” school never questioned me and counted the time as excused.

By HL

November 21, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Scott- I would never expect a teacher to make-up classroom time with my child or with me when I was in school. All I would ask of the teacher is to send home the missed work before we leave. I know that I didn’t need the class time to learn. I took two weeks off my freshman year of high school and never needed help with any of the subjects and turned in all the homework the day I returned. Just like in the real world you get your job done whether or not you are on vacation or sick.

By Slim

November 21, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

I’ve pulled my kid out of school for out of town trips. I will check my daughter out of school around noon on her birthday, and she and I go out of town. I’ve never let her stay home to clean my kitchen though. Even though she is getting good grades, she needs to be in school. Yes, I take days off from work, they are called “Mental Health” days, or “mommie” days, when I need time to myself. Everyone is at school or work, and I get a day to myself, which is VERY important to me in order to keep me sane. I love my kid and hubby, however, I need to take time to myself once in a while. EVERYONE DOES!! Cuz if momma ain’t happy, no one is happy!!!!! Now if I plan a trip, and have to take the kids out of school, I will go meet with the teachers, let them know the kid(s) will be out, and will gather any work that needs to be done while we are away. However, it’s MY decision and the school cannot stop me from taking my kid out.

By HL

November 21, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

I think the cleaning of the kitchen was to gauge just how bad we didn’t want to go. I remember doing it at least three times through out my k-12 school years. We hardly took vacation around the school calendar.

By TheOne

November 21, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

I don’t take sick days unless I or my child are actually “sick” (go figure). Fortunately, she has been a very healthy child, and has not NEEDED to be out of school for an illness (thank God). AND let me state, this blog is not about “sick days”, it’s about “vacation/travel days”!!! The school system already allows several weeks for vacation (spring break, winter holidays, etc.), and so does my job, so NO, I don’t feel it necessary to keep her out just to accommodate my schedule. If we want to travel, I try to plan that around her school schedule. She happens to be a very good student, in a dual magnet program, and stays on top of her work requirements. Her school is also on block scheduling, so missing one day is like missing two. I want her to learn to honor her responsibilities, just like I honor mine. Do we all need a break sometimes, YES, do we have to lie and cheat our kids to get one, NO!!!!

By Joshua

November 21, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

Thank goodness my son understands that a full and rich life is far more important than perfect attendance. One of the many reasons that we send him to a private school is so that we don’t have to deal with a ridiculous bureaucracy if we want to take a trip somewhere. We’ll miss a couple of extra days this holiday season, and his teachers already know where he’ll be.

By scott

November 21, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

HL - you are the exception and not the rule. It is always not a matter of giving the student busy work and have them turn it in for a grade. Sometimes a student will miss a science lab or group projects that only can be accomplished while IN SCHOOL. If your child happens to be out when key concepts are being taught and reviewed, they may never get the full benefit of being in class when the teacher gives full explanations and examples. I know many of you have whiz kids but life happens. I have seen top of the line students take these educational or family breaks and out of the blue a family illness or crisis occurs. Before you know it they are looking at missing double digit days of school. I am sorry, completing worksheets and reading chapters at home is not a substitution for solid in-class instruction.

Bottom line like many of you have said it is your choice as parents. However you will not be there in college when your child has the professor who always schedules an exam right before Thanksgiving and Spring Break. Oh yeah the finals at the end of each semester but. The “I have to fly on this date because this is the flight my parents booked for me” excuse will be met with a big fat ZERO or incomplete. I have taught adjunct on the university level and the same habits kids developed before college get worst when Mom and Dad are not around.

By Swangirl

November 21, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

HL, I got what you meant totally. When I was a kid, I had to go to school no matter what. No mental health days of any kind. The only kind of break I ever got was if I had an orthodontist appt. late in the day and it was really too late to go back. And I made all As!

Meanwhile, my best friend (she still is, actually) occasionally got the kind of mental health day you are describing. Her mother told her if she cleaned her room (which was usually a disaster area), she could stay home for the day. I was always so jealous. Her Mom was a SAHM so she was never alone.

This didn’t happen that often but it in no way ruined her school performance. She graduated 10th in our high school of over 700 and has a successful career/marriage.

I think it only gets bad when the parents are pulling the kid out on a frequent basis for days at a time and then griping because it’s too hard for their child to make up the work. THAT isn’t right.

By KC

November 21, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

Scott, Do you have children in school?

By A parent

November 21, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

The state of GA has determined that if you have more than 5 unexcused absences you will be referred to social services. You might think why would a child need more than 5 unexcused absences? Well if your little league team is in the playoffs, you will miss school. If your daughter dances in the Nutcracker ballet you will miss school, if your child is musically gifted and needs to go to an audition, you will miss school. If your child aspires to excell in any non-school related activity it is likely that you will need to take time off school. The catch is that the school will not grant you these absences as excused. And if you are unexcused the teachers do not have to let you make up your work. The Killer is if your child is suspended, then they can make up their work!!

By scott

November 21, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

Yes, but guess the Saturdays and Sundays do not provide the “mental breaks” your kids need. Maybe try not having them in so many activities during the week they are getting the recomended 8 to 10 hours of sleep that is recommended for kids. That is what I do, I make sure my kids do not go to school tired so they are not in need of missing school.

By a parent

November 21, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

We can thank our wonderful president for his brilliant No Child Left Behind (AKA no rights or decision making left to the parents or school systems). Under NCLB all absences, excused or unexcused, count against a schools making Annual Yearly Progress. If you don’t make AYP you get a non-performing school designation and administrators lose their jobs, and people flee the school. Contact your legislators….tell them NO MORE. Do not support No Child Left Behind!

By Hidely

November 21, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

These parents who force their kids to make “perfect attendance”, please consider the other children who do not need to be exposed to illnesses your kids are told to ignore.

My kids’ health is more important that your frameable P.A. certificate.

By a parent

November 21, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

We can thank our wonderful president for his brilliant No Child Left Behind (AKA no rights or decision making left to the parents or school systems). Under NCLB all absences, excused or unexcused, count against a schools making Annual Yearly Progress. If you don’t make AYP you get a non-performing school designation and administrators lose their jobs, and people flee the school. Contact your legislators….tell them NO MORE. Do not support No Child Left Behind!

By Steve

November 21, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

What a ridiculous topic.

Fibbing to get more days out of school for your child? Then you compound the problem by asking your child to lie in order to go along with your story?

You have got to be kidding me. What happened to setting a good example for one’s children?

Sick days are to be used when one is SICK - not when self-important parents’ travel plans interfere with school!

By KC

November 21, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

a parent, so you blame it all on Bush huh?

By HL

November 21, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

Swangirl - yeah, I don’t think parents have a right to gripe about making up work if their kids miss school. My mom never griped. I never griped…heck I got it done faster because I didn’t have to sit through boring lectures…yes, I was the kid that got N’s for “Disturbing others while working.”

Scott - I really didn’t have classes that had labs. I get that. I took high school chemistry and high school physics. Most of my class time was lectures and not hands on work. I had a drafting class and other engineering courses that were hands on, but work at your own pace. Also, I understand what you are saying about college. I never missed tests…even in the two weeks of vacation my freshman year of HS…right before finals so no tests were missed. I only missed one test (the final) in college and it was for an Accounting III course during the summer session. I was VERY sick and could not get out of bed. The prof let me come and make it up a few days later. I definitely did not expect it but it was appreciated so I did not have to repeat the course…however, I think the zero would have left me with a C.

By HL

November 21, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

KC - you cannot assume she is blaming Bush. Yes, he pushed it, but it was Ted Kennedy that wrote it.

By Ginny

November 21, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

Personally, I think anyone that has their child in a government school should be charged with child abuse and neglect. I would never turn my kids over to the government to be educated, not with the teachers and schools the way I saw them.

I pulled both my children out of their public schools three years ago, when they were eight and six. I have been home schooling both them and my nieces and nephews (seven children in all) for the past three years. The children are excelling in ways they never did in government schools and they LOVE doing their work. And we don’t have to worry about “unexcused absences” or any of that nonsense. If there is an opportunity for an educational trip, the children take it and do their work while they are gone. Or, if we all go, we have classes just as we would here. It’s a wonderful set up and we don’t have to deal with the idiotic power trips of school system administrators and impossible to fire horrible teachers.

By scott

November 21, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

This topic is not for excused sick days, that is a totally different subject. This is about parents that schedule family vacation outside of the two weeks during Christmas, one week during Spring Break, and the multitude of three day weekend / half days that allow plenty of time to “recharge those mental batteries”

By KC

November 21, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

HL, I didn’t assume this is what was written: We can thank our wonderful president for his brilliant No Child Left Behind (AKA no rights or decision making left to the parents

mind your own business

By Steve

November 21, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

Ginny:

Child abuse and neglect? PLEASE! Get over yourself.

I have no problem with your decision to homeschool your children and I wish you could have an equally mature view of those who chose public education. According to you, I should be charged with child abuse and neglect. Very good. Once again, get over yourself. I am sure that your children will be quite well-adjusted and ready to socialize, work with, and work for people of various backgrounds after more than a decade of your indoctrination of those attitudes.

Discussion of issues is possible without hyperbole and bombastic over-the-top statements like yours.

By a parent

November 21, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

Actually, HL, NCLB was written by Margaret Spellings when she was Bush’s Chief Policy Advisor. The law is a problem because it is top-down, and short sighted. Seems like the GOP is all about keeping out of your business, unless its about your kid’s attendance, your body, or your bedroom-but those last two are for another column.

By KC

November 21, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

a parent, WTF??????????

By Nancy Morris

November 21, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

I work at a school and you have no idea how frustrating it is dealing with parents that want to take their children out of school for cruises, trips, etc. Most of them are rude and confrontational when they are told that it will be unexcused. When my children were in school there was no “NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT” but as a parent I always encouraged my children to attend school daily unless they were sick and in doing that I have two children that work every day and I am sure their employers appreciate their work ethic which was taught to them many many years before by their parents!

By Teacher's Kid

November 21, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

A-MEN Steve on your 11:08 post!

By lmm

November 21, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

Last year when my daughter was in 5th grade, she had 4 unexcused absences and we received a letter from the county (Gwinnett) stating that if she missed one more day we would be referred to social services. This letter was sent in MAY! Also, my daughter was (and is) a straight A student (in all gifted courses) and didn’t (and doesn’t) cause problems in school.

The reason she missed those days was due to the fact that her father (my ex) lives in another state and had trips, etc., scheduled for his weekends of visitation which required her missing a full day of school for 4 such trips. He doesn’t particularly care if she misses school (because he wants her homeschooled - though that is different topic of discussion for another time as I am a working divorced parent who cannot afford to stay at home and homeschool) so he schedules trips on his weekends and takes her on them. He also doesn’t care if I get another letter. I also have to take her out of school for half a day every three weeks for those visitations that he doesn’t schedule trips.

I always notify the teachers that she will miss a day/half day and why as well as to send her homework along with her so she can do it over the weekend. They have always worked with me on this because they know it really isn’t a situation that I or my daughter can avoid.

Other than above, I always schedule trips and appointments (the ones i have control over) around her school’s schedule so she doesn’t miss any more than she has to.

By Jesse's Girl

November 21, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

Thank goodness, our girls are out all week!!! So, we have nothing to worry about. I do think however that public schools in general insult the intelligence of parents. Who knows best when and for how long our children need to miss school? I decide what is best for my children, not the school system.

By annoyed

November 21, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

yesterdays topic; how I taught sunday school while in college when everyone else stopped going.

todays topic; how to lie to your kids school.

tomorrows topic; ?, maybe pro-choice websites to visit…or doesnt my husband suck?

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

Our kid has missed school to play in a golf tournament with dad, go to a businessmans special at the ballpark, sleep in and watch TV in bed all day, go to a museum, spring training, etc. Again, straight A student.

Having lost my dad this year that did the same with me when I was a kid, I will gladly take those wonderful memories over your perfect attendance certificate in the attic.
To each their own

By Steve

November 21, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

Jesse’s Girl:

I don’t think that is a very realistic attitude. If your children are in school then you must play by the attendance rules of the school. I don’t understand the problem. Parents don’t get to decide to take their child(ren) out of school for trips, cruises, family events without incurring some type of consequence (cost.) Period.

If you want to take your child(ren) on that cruise, on that two-week European vacation, or on that Antarctic expedition for that matter, you’d better schedule it in July.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

Thankfully my sons school is much like my employer …could care less if I am sitiing in my seat from 9-5 M-F but that I get results.

By Cindy

November 21, 2006 12:20 PM | Link to this

I agree with past50mom. My mother-in-law wanted to take my husband, my teenage daughter and myself to London last year. My daughter is in the Fulton County school system. We planned the trip for months in advance. Rates are cheaper off-season, so we went in November. I contacted her teachers and asked them for assignments for her to complete during the trip, and a couple of the teachers made up special assignments directly related to our travels. My dauthter missed four days of school. She is a gifted student on the honor role and is never in trouble. Please understand that we never take trips during the school year, however I felt this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that my husband and I would never be able to give her without the generous gift from my mother-in-law. I also felt like it would be a wonderful learning experience. When we returned the school sent me a letter stating that I could be fined and/or taken to court if my daughter had another unexcused absence.

My sister teaches at the school and stated she was amazed the attendance office had time to send me the letter, considering how many students they have skip class on a daily basis…

By lmm

November 21, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

As I stated above I did get one of “those” letters. What offended me the most about this letter was that there was no common sense used on the administrators part. While I agree that kids should be in school every day that school is in session, there are situations that cannot be avoided, such as visitation with a father who lives out of the state as I mentioned above. I always talk with all the teachers and the principal at the begining of school each year to let them know the situation my daughter is in and they put it in her record. She is a gifted student with straight A’s. It seems to me that they could look at her records to see what her situation is, see what her teacher’s have to say and see what grades she is getting before sending such a nasty-gram home.

IMHO, the rules are applied across the board without taking the individual’s situation into account.

By Slim

November 21, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Ginny My kid has been educated in Gwinnett County schools since Pre-K and she is one of the smartest people I know. Straight A’s, with the occassional B. I don’t think that should be considered child abuse or negligect. You would have to open a special “jail” for those parents, and it would get real crowed real fast. What kind of a stupid statment was that? My hubby doesn’t make tons of cash for me to sit on my butt all day long and “home school” my kid. My kid is getting not just an education, but knows how to behave in a social setting, and how to get along with others, tolerance I belive it what it’s called. Your holier than thou post is sad, very sad, and it’s ok to express feelings, however, you should not force your OPINION down others throat. But I guess Tolerance is not on the curriculum at your Home School. I feel bad for home schooled kids. To me, it’s like the parents are WAY TOO PROTECTIVE. And then the kids don’t fit in with society and have difficulities in relationships as they get older, because social skills wern’t taught to them. Do plan on educating them all the way through college? Or what, keep them at home, then turn them loose at age 18 into unfamiliar territory called society….. Get over yourself. I bet you hate Bush too, because everything is, after all, his fault.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

Steve, Not sure how long it has been since you taught but kids/adults/students have a choice in how they attend class. Students can choose to learn in a style that best suits them vs. some professor standing in front of 200 students reading from the same book he has read from for the past 10 years. Been there, done that and will advise my child to avoid at all costs. BTW.I also teach adults.

By KC

November 21, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

Annoyed, does your husband suck

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

OK SLIM you answer one over the top post with another. The whole sit on the butt and hubby/cash statements are silly and ignorant. I don’t homeschool but do your research before you make blanket statements. And not all folks that choose home school or private have hubbies that make a buttload of cash. It’s called 2nd jobs and sacrifice for most.
Most of the kids that have left our school to be homeschooled have left because they can not afford the added tuition as younger siblings have started school.

Careful with your own stereotypes.

By JUDGER

November 21, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

Imm-Ya see your problems began because you are divorced! If your childs father lived in the house with you and your child like a normal Christian family then there would not be these issues…If your child takes a sick day and is not sick then you are a liar and teaching your child poor values…but you already did that when you got divorced

By lmm

November 21, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

judger-I can appreciate what you are saying. But are you suggesting that I should stay with a husband who cannot keep his pants up around other women? Are you suggesting that I didn’t do everything I could to forgive and keep the marriage together? Are you suggesting that I am not a Christian and that my child isn’t living in a Christian home? Are you suggesting that I cannot be a Christian and my home can’t be a Christian home because I am divorced? That isn’t what my bible says. What? Are you a bug on my wall so you know what I do and don’t do, say and don’t say and what I teach and don’t teach my child?

I also never said that my child takes sick days when she isn’t sick. I also never said that I lied about the times she is out of school - re-read my posts. I said in my previous post that I talk with the teachers and the administrators at the beginning of schools so they know the situation with my daughter and that I always tell the teachers when she is going to be out of school and why.

By A mom

November 21, 2006 01:05 PM | Link to this

Judger-That’s totally mean. Are you one of those Christians that pays attention to all things Christian except “judge not lest ye be judged?” Your post is pretty transparent that you put that on here just to be inflamatory and get people upset. There is no point in disrupting what is supposed to be a healthy debate—though you are not the only one. We really have tripped on a ridiculous situation here. Why can’t the school’s look at each situation independantly? What are the administrators there for if not to make these kinds of decisions?

Has anyone actually gone to social services for their child’s absences? I would think that they would be too busy investigating real abuse situations.

By Slim

November 21, 2006 01:10 PM | Link to this

Judger All 6 of my kids’ fathers live together. Makes it alot easier on father’s day, or the days I choose to lay out of work. I just have to drop all them kids off at one place. Put that in your moral pipe…..and please define “Normal Christian family”. I don’t believe it exists.

By sk8ingmomma

November 21, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

Ahhh! The beauty of homeschooling!! It is so nice to be on our own schedule and not have to deal with the a county/private school’s schedule.

By Hope

November 21, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

I would never lie about my plans. My daughter missed one Friday in March, so that we could have an extended day at Disney. The teacher gave us Friday’s work on Thursday and my child turned it in on Monday.

If I were traveling this week, my child would be out of school tomorrow - so that I could get an early travel start tonight. However, we’re staying home and she’s at school.

I’m an adult and I know what is best for my child. I don’t feel the need to lie about my childs wearabouts to the school system or anyone else. I’m responsible enough to know that school is very important and that if you missed a test or assignment, you will have to work additionally to make it up. Fortunately, my child is an excellent student - so failing is not something we have to worry about.

I don’t feel the need to lie and unless your child is not meeting the requirements or never comes to school, why worry about what anyone else has to say about a missed day here or there.

We had a wonderful time at Disney.

By me

November 21, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

Wow, everyone here has a gifted student but Georgia has one of the lowest SAT scores nationwide. Isn’t that ironic?

By me

November 21, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

Judger is Renee!!!hehehehe

By lmm

November 21, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this

@ me - my daughter’s school’s gifted program has approximately 40 students in it (6th, 7th and 8th grades) - the entire population of the school is approximately 900. So, considering the percentage of gifted students to entire population (at least at my daughter’s school) no it isn’t necessarily ironic that the GA SATs are low. There are a lot of other factors that go into SAT scores as I’m sure you know - such as the ability to take tests and do well on them, the home environment, the teachers, the school environment, etc…

By John

November 21, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

The school system where my children attended allowed up to one week of educational leave, which could encompass vacation time. You simply had to submit an itinerary with educational objectives and agree to do do the work you were missing while you were gone. Nobody had to fib so long as it wasn’t abused.

That said, with the ridiculously long school holiday breaks, there is almost never a reason to penalize your child and his classmates by pulling him out of school the day before a holiday. You can leave on Tuesday afternoon and get virtually anywhere in the country well before Thanksgiving dinner with plenty of time to return. Add in the long Christmas and spring breaks and several three-day weekends along with eight weeks off in the summer and there is plenty of time to travel and take vacations on non-school days. You are teaching children very poor time management and life skills if you abuse the system by taking additional days. When I was in school, we got by with two days at Thanksgiving and two or three days in the spring. No one needs to take additional time.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 02:12 PM | Link to this

Our scores (private school) are above county/state/nation by quite a bit.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 02:17 PM | Link to this

John, are you kidding with this system stuff? You are teaching children very poor time management and life skills if you abuse the system by taking additional days. What I’m teaching my child is sometimes the system is wrong or can be bent if you can accomplish something in 3days when the system wants you to do it in 5. The system, PLEASE, stop drinking the kool aid! And then you throw in the when I was in school UGH!

By Virginia

November 21, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

I am the mother of three teenagers, and I am an elementary educator. Yes, I have taken my kids out of school for trips. With the blessing of the school system, we have taken occassional short, off season trips to Europe. We have been to Versailles, to Churchill’s War Cabinet Rooms and to the Brandenburg Gate. Our ability to go on trips was based on the reasonable cost of off season travel, often best during the early winter. I could not have afforded such trips during the usual school holidays. We would still be taking those trips, excused or unexcused, were it not for all of the extra fees tacked on now.

By Cobb Mom

November 21, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

We, too, have gotten a letter from Social Services.

Our daughter misses school for sports: she competes at nationally-ranked hunter/jumper horse shows, many of which are out of town.

When we contacted her high school, they told us that we shouldn’t worry about it, that they “had” to send it even though our daughter is an exceptional student.

What I find incredibly bothersome is that if she participated in a school-sanctioned sport, we wouldn’t have any problem with absences.

As far as having time management skills and responsibility: Try juggling four AP or Honors classes on the block schedule, having a part-time job, AND keeping an athletic partner fit. Riding is not like football or soccer: you can’t just decide to put a horse in the closet for a few days.

By Hope

November 21, 2006 02:29 PM | Link to this

Me - you are talking about the average SAT scores as a whole. Some of those schools where the average SAT score for the school is low, actually have a great number of students with excellent SAT scores.

Don’t compare my child to the average, because her test scores are always above average when the state and the county scores are below average.

Not only that when I look at the National Average for a specific subject, she is always above the National Average for all subjects.

It doesn’t make my child any less gifted, because the state of GA has low test scores.

By me

November 21, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

Hope, I get it. Guess what? I also have an exceptional child. I won’t go so far as to call her gifted but she does get straight A’s and plays sports. The schools in GA are so far behind that all children should be getting A’s as well. I was merely stating that everyone here claims to have a gifted child and I just don’t believe it. If i’m wrong and all these children truely are “genious material” we have a bright future ahead for us don’t we?

By HL

November 21, 2006 02:47 PM | Link to this

My husband keeps telling me when I complain about the GA scores that everyone has to take the SAT even if they are not college bound..which is not the case in other states. I only took the ACT and only my friends going to college took it. Not all did. I haven’t been through the GA schools, so I do not know for sure, but it is something to throw out there.

By Elaine

November 21, 2006 02:48 PM | Link to this

Hear, Hear to Scott and others. The problem isn’t the regular-attending kid who misses for a once-in-a-lifetime trip or a family event such as wedding or funeral. We’re all human beings and we understand and applaud when families make these efforts to learn and live together.

This is the problem: the family that misses a day(s) before and/or after every single day off of school—not just holidays, but even the three-day weekends for workdays. These people aren’t many, but they’re enough to cause serious problems. They have a very high sense of entitlement and an “I triple dog dare you to do anything about it” attitude. They ask for “the work” the day before or day after they’re gone. I’m sorry—school doesn’t fit in an envelope. I taught high school for eight years and was repeatedly faced with people who asked me in advance for “the notes.” Teachers don’t type out notes to teach from. We write plans for ourselves, but we don’t create xerox-able facsimiles of our class in case Suzie or Johnny has to catch a cheaper flight earlier in the day, or has to sleep in the day after because they got in so late the night before.

Also, there are some well-meaning parents who always, repeatedly check their child out at the same time for appointments…many, many appointments. Dermatologist, dentist, orthodontist, therapist, chiropractor, family doctor, and the list goes on. (I couldn’t believe some of the maintenance these kids required.) Anyway, I’m not sure some of them realize that if they check the kid out at the same time every time—say long lunch, or 30 minutes before the end of school, or come in 30 minutes late—they’re ALWAYS missing the same class.

By lmm

November 21, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this

Amen, Hope! The same goes for my daughter. She always scores higher than the state or county averages and she scores at least two to three grade levels higher than her peers on the standardized tests. She’s also one of the top two in her gifted classes as far as grades go.

I’m sure that everyone here know that an average is a sum of all scores divided by the total number of scores. As such, you will have some scores above and some below the average. If you have more people scoring low than those who score high then you are naturally going to get a low average score.

By Jones

November 21, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this

If you voted for Bush,this is why you’re having to lie to your school about your child’s attendance! Sickness and deaths are the only excused absences in public schools thanks to the awful mandate of NCLB.

By Cletus Snow

November 21, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this

It’s wrong to lie,if my child is going to be out we get any work that will be missed and turn it in on return.How can you teach you’r child that it’s wrong to lie if you do it.

By lmm

November 21, 2006 02:59 PM | Link to this

me - My daughter was evaluated using the following procedures for “giftedness”:

The procedures for identifying and placing students in Gwinnett’s gifted program are governed by the rules and regulations approved by the State Board of Education and the State Department of Education.

Referral The first step for entrance into the gifted program - a referral - may come from teachers, parents, peers, or as the results of systemwide testing scores. Referrals are reviewed by each school’s local gifted referral team. This team determines which students will be evaluated for gifted education placement.

Evaluation Following parental consent, the local school evaluates the student’s mental ability, achievement, creativity and motivation through the use of nationally normed group tests, products and performance assessment, and survey checklists.

Eligibility An eligibility team composed of at least three people, who are either a local school administrator, a teacher, a counselor or the gifted program teacher, studies the evaluation information about the referred student. The team then makes its decision about the student’s placement in the gifted program. The local school notifies parents as to the team’s decision.

A student needs to qualify in three of four areas to be placed in the gifted program. The first area is mental ability at the 96th percentile. The remaining areas are achievement, creativity, and motivation, each of which must be at the 90th percent/percentile.

Student progress is reviewed annually for continuation in the gifted program. Students must have satisfactory performance in the gifted class and in the regular classroom.

As a result of the above procedures, my daughter has been in the gifted program for 4 years.

By lmm

November 21, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

Jones - you forgot to mention that doctor’s/dental appointments are considered excused.

By Slayton

November 21, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

Doesn’t the school system(s)give enough day(s) off each month for your families to do trips? What are you teaching your kids? Is this is why your little Johnny can’t read now? Children need to be in school, on time, everyday, ready to learn!

By scott

November 21, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this

Less than 10% of the population is really considered gifted. Just because a child is in the TAG program does not equate gifted. Above average intelligence, critical thinking skills, common sense are all good. Parents throw around the gifted tag as much as the ADD/ADHD tag on the other end of the spectrum.

By me

November 21, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this

Imm, that’s Great!! Is she close to old enough to run for Governor yet?

By me

November 21, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this

Thanks Scott, your the only one here that caught on!

By Charlotte

November 21, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this

I missed a lot of days of school when I was growing up. It’s because the bus didn’t come to our area and my divorced, alcoholic mother was too drunk to drive me to school (at least she didn’t drink and drive). My dad lived out out state, so he was out of the picture. I flunked 6th grade because I missed so many days. Finally a teacher took pity on me and DROVE me to school each day. The real irony is that I went to an expensive private school.

By Alice

November 21, 2006 03:23 PM | Link to this

The gifted programs are not chalked up to what parents think they are. It’s either 45 minutes a day or 1 full day a week (at the elementary level). That doesn’t mean that your child is any better than the higher achieving student or the average learner.

I’ve seen many gifted elementary teachers have their students play board games or with a rubix cube all day. What is that about? Truly, it’s overrated. In the long run, it doesn’t mean a hill of beans if your child is in the gifted program or not.

By TRULYGIFTED

November 21, 2006 03:26 PM | Link to this

I agree. I was administered the Stanford-Benet test when I was in 3rd grade and I scored 143. I scored 1580 on my SAT and I was so friggin smart my parents did not enforce on me the importance of attending school every day. As a young adult I for the first time struggled in college because I did not twice about skipping college courses…Being “gifted”, may give you the ability, but learning how to follow rules and respect authority are what really lead to success…dedicated people can become intelligent…intelligent people are not usually very dedicated or high functioning in society. Teach your kids to do right and impressing on them that you don’t respect the school system enough to abide by its schedule is not right!

By lmm

November 21, 2006 03:58 PM | Link to this

trulygifted - i totally agree with you.

My daughter also took the Stanford-Benet test and scored a 162 on it. I’ve worked hard to impress upon my daughter that going to school, doing her homework and getting good grades is her “job”. She understands the importance of being in school, being on time, handing assignments on time, studying for tests, getting plenty of rest, etc. She also understands that there are circumstances that are not under her control and that there are contingencies for dealing with them (such as having to leave school early on every third Friday for court ordered visitation with her out-of-state father and getting her homework ahead of time, completing it over the weekend and handing it in on Monday as well as making up in-class work when she gets back on Monday). Her teachers understand the situation and work with both of us so that she is as minimally impacted as possible.

By Claire Doumee-Knightly

November 21, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

Well, my son misses 64 days a year to compete at the very highest level of youth polo and my daughter doesnt go to school at, way too busy with debutante functions. My father led the raid on Normandy and an uncle of mine is about to cure cancer. Thats all I have, I just thought i’d use this blog to tell everyone about my families acheivments, and oh yea, we live in cobb too.

By Hope

November 21, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this

Call the gifted program or down grade the program as much as you would like. I’ve seen what the regular education classes have to offer and I thank GOD that my child’s brain does not have to suffer.

I’m blessed to have a school system where the TAG/Gifted program provides a 100% more than the regular classes provide. Not only that, but she doesn’t have to sit around waiting for the underperforming students to catch up or for the teacher to re-teach the same material 1,000 times.

I’m sure she doesn’t fall into Einstein’s gifted category, but she’s definitely 10,000 times above what is taught in this state.

So you can call it “My child’s a Little BIT smarter than Your Child” program.

It doesn’t really matter, because she’s being educated a little bit more.

By Lane

November 21, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

Reading all of the posts so far, it’s clear to me that many parents don’t think twice about taking their children out of school for things that could be done at other times.

I am not talking about once-in-a-lifetime, genuinely educational trips.

But many parents seem to think it’s okay for Junior to miss school for family vacations, 101 doctor visits, etc. I work at a college, and I see students skip class all the time, and then complain about failing tests. Or geting a D- on a paper.

Georgia has a unique program where HS juniors and seniors can take college courses for college (and HS) credit. We have had a few students graduate from HS and with an Associates at the same time. Parents of gifted students should consider this, as every HS student I’ve met at this school is awakened to a new meaning of “work” keeping up with college material.

I see a lot of laziness in Gen-Y, and I think the Baby Boomer parents have bred it with nonsense like lying to schools to get extra days off. (BTW— if your student asks for work ahead of time, it’s more work for teachers than to make it up later.)

By BrownEyeGirl

November 21, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this

For my mother, I better be throwing up or dying to miss any school. My parents are divorced to and live VERY far apart. So, my mother only scheduled anything travel-related during the summer. She always taught me that going to school was preparing me for the working world. So, if I couldn’t handle going to school (grade thru high school) - the real world of college and a job was going to pretty much “kill me”. She never justifed anything - it was as it was, these are the rules. Learn to follow them because the rules are there for a reason. If you don’t like them, to bad - unless you want to take the effort to change them, don’t complain, but you better know what you are talking about (meaning: be educated). “Without rules there would be utter chaos.” - that was my mother’s favorite saying.

By Ellie

November 21, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

Lying is lying. No coving it up. If you have no problems lying your children will think the same way. What is funny is all you are the same parents saying “my kids would never lie (or do anything else).” Yet, you go around lying to school and your kids KNOW IT! How can you say that you do not regret lying to your children’s schools. I bet you are also the parent that refuse to think your kids do nothing wrong and are little angels because they are “A+ students” and “scored yadda-yadda on this”. Kids are able to do anything, and without parents teaching them about telling the truth, I guess your kids will keep on lying to you about what they did last weekend. You are need to think about being better examples to your children than trying to make your kids look cool to their friends because they went here or there. I was actually invited when I was a kid to go to another country with my best friend paid by the grandparents, my mom said no. Am I mad, NO. Because I understand why I would do the same if that happened to my children. If it was during the summer there would be another answer, as would of been my mom’s answer.

By Kelly

November 21, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this

I remember being told many years ago by an old family friend that good parents are the ones who are worried about the parental decisions they make (was that right or wrong) and the bad parents are the ones who think that they don’t make any wrong parental decisions. Every parent will make mistakes, but if you don’t learn for it - you will just keep making it and you will have to live with the outcome: a spoiled, rotten child.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this

I took many breaks from school for some incredible times with my parents and I made it through undergrad and grad school and have no trouble with the working world. I hope my son continues to do well in school and thinks for himself as he matures instead of relying on others and the system to dictate right and wrong.

By My kid's smarter than your kid

November 21, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this

Hope: “I’m sure she doesn’t fall into Einstein’s gifted category, but she’s definitely 10,000 times above what is taught in this state.”

Like Lewis Grizzard always said - “Delta is ready when you are”

Find a state to accomodate your gifted child.

By Kelly

November 21, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this

The rules are there for a reason. If you don’t like them, then take your kids out of the school. Other than that learn to follow them. It is just part of life. You are there to teach your kid how to be a good citizen. If you instil in your kids that rules are a joke, they are going to think that way - no matter how “mature” you say they are.

(Hey, this runs very closely with HOAs…. I hope you all don’t have HOAs and I wonder if you follow those rules too, since you seem so against rules in general.)

By BMN

November 21, 2006 05:00 PM | Link to this

I would never lie to the school. I would also never take trips during the school year unless there was a death in the family or a family emergency. There are three months in which we can travel to our hearts content if my spouse and I can get the time off from work. If not, we don’t go. I don’t lie to my work either. Both are completely and utterly wrong.

Because we, THE PARENTS, are the greatest example to my children - that is why I would not lie to the school (and work). If I did, I might as well just tell my kids that lying is ok as long as it was conventant to you. Which again IS wrong.

By lmm

November 21, 2006 05:08 PM | Link to this

I agree with several of the posters here. Children learn by example. Alot of parents have the “do as I say not as I do” syndrome. If kids see you are willing to lie, then they learn that it is okay to lie. They also learn that going on trips is more important or playing “sick” is more important than getting an education, such that it is here in GA. Many people are complaining about how bad the schools are here - what are YOU doing to make them better? It takes three groups of people for a quality education - the teachers, the children and the parents. There is only so much teachers can do without the support of the parents. If parents don’t get involved in their kids lives to understand what the kids are learning as well as enforcing the rules that the schools impose, then no wonder the school system is in the condition it is in.

By Jackie

November 21, 2006 05:09 PM | Link to this

Wow - you guys are brutal! On the written note I send back to school with my daughter - I simply say ‘please excuse my daughter from being absent.’ I don’t give a reason why and am simply asking for their consideration of an excused absence. They excuse the absence and I haven’t lied. I have found that the majority of the time - the day before a holiday most teachers aren’t doing ‘important classwork’ or the school is holding some type of assembly. I think they do this BECAUSE so many kids are out of school. So, if my daughter doesn’t go — is she really missing anything? Am I really setting a poor example? Oh, and I work an average 11 hour day as an office manager and I don’t call in sick and I rarely use my vacation days - so I think I’m setting the right example of ethics in the ‘grown up world’. My older kids certainly respect work schedules - even though they got the occassional extra day off.

By stayinvolved

November 21, 2006 05:14 PM | Link to this

This is really going to drive you folks crazy…….we are pulling the child out for one day to go to a championship football game as a family….oh dear…and guess what…employer knows and school knows.

See, we have made decisions in our lives to work for a compatible company, go to a compatible school and live our life to when we want to do something fun we have earned it! What’s the good word?

By Kelly

November 21, 2006 05:29 PM | Link to this

They “earned it”????? Come on - they have been in school for 3 months!! You deserve it actually more than they should, you work year-round and do more things around the house than your kids probably do. If your kid “earns” anything, that “earned anything”-right time is at the end of the school year.

By Kelly

November 21, 2006 05:32 PM | Link to this

Now I understand why kids think and act like they are entitled.