MOMania

By Pillsbury Doughboy

October 25, 2006 08:44 AM | Link to this

Interracial dating? I’m fine with it. My son or daughter could marry or date whomever they chose—-as long as their rich, heheheehe. But just because someone doesn’t approve doesn’t make them a racist to me. I know people who are Catholic and don’t want their kids dating Protestants. I know people who are Jewish who don’t want their kids dating anybody out of their religion. It happens all down the line. Certain interracial relationships are already accepted by most people anyway (White-Hispanic, White-Asian, et cetera). It’s all subjective. And what is race anyway?

By H

October 25, 2006 08:45 AM | Link to this

This is a pretty touchy subject. Some people are still stuck in the early 1900’s when it comes to race. My own grandfather feels my adopted black son belongs in the fields pulling weeds for pennies a day.

I don’t have a problem with people of a different race, color or creed. It’s all about attitude. Whether your black or white, if your attitude sucks, I don’t want you around me or my kids.

Now, with this said, I fully expect my child to look beyond color when he is of age to date. He is a young AA male being raised in a white home. My daughter was unexpected (biological) so his own sister is of a different race (of course, as am I). We are all people, it doesn’t matter what color the skin is.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 08:45 AM | Link to this

Theresa, much better than the sperm & cell phone issue, thanks for listening to your audience.

This one hits close to home for me, hubbie and I are different races and of course son is bi-racial. Our families never had an issue with it, kind of surprising considering the generation they are from.

We joke about what type of woman our son will marry since he is biracial but actually looks Puerto Rican (he is not Puerto Rican) but we could really care less. As long as she is kind, considerate, loving and not money hungry. I think this tends to be more of an issue in the south, in the North, West & East interracial couples/families are everywhere.

By dude

October 25, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

We’re caucasian. My wife doesn’t care if my daughter dates other races, as long as the boy has good Christian morals. And its not ok to have sex, but if she is going to, she should tell her so Mom can get birth control started. Just don’t be a lesbian, she says. I say we lock her in her room until she’s 30.

By southernmommy

October 25, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

H I agree one hundred percent.

By I think with a drawl

October 25, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

We are all the same color when the lights go off!

By Wise Diva

October 25, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

Wow, I hadn’t heard about this Theresa. That is outrageous. My parents were not surprised when I dated outside my race in HS, because I went to predominantly white schools from K-12. I don’t imagine they took it that seriously at that age because it was all puppy love anyway. They were very tolerant (or appeared to be) and didn’t discourage friendships with anyone.

It’s funny that now that I am older, my dad voices concern about my interracial dating. I guess the chances of having a “Guess Who’s Coming TO Dinner” scenario play out doesn’t sit well with him now. I can understand why he has his reservations about it though. He grew up as a young black man in the 50s, in the deep south (Alabama), Jim Crow-era. Even if he supported me having friends from all races, when it comes to marrying, he thinks I should be with someone of my race, because of the social stigma. He probably would have a really hard time if I actually married a white guy. Mom wouldn’t mind though.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this

I agree that it is more of an issue in the south. My grandparents would have a fit, but ultimatly I am the parent.

Race is lesser issue in our home. what we will object to is dating someone of a different religion. It is just our beliefs. The only hesitation I would have on them dating another race, would be more concern for both of them and the ridicule they would receive from other people.

I also know AA families who would object to the kids dating white kids. I dated a AA guy for all of about a week. When the women in his family found out, they fliped. Cussed both of us out. That was the end of that.

H you are a wonderful person for standing up to your family for the love of your child. We are looking into adopting and have been concerned about our families if we did do an interacial adoption.

By Mike

October 25, 2006 09:08 AM | Link to this

Persnally I hope my daughter never decides to date someone of another race but if she did I would accept it and certainly not resort to violence to stop it.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

I hope you have your gloves on Theresa…you’re gonna need them today. And not for the cold.

Yes, absolutely. I would have no problem with my children dating whom they please. We do have to approve of them as long as they are living in our home. But the rules will be based upon very simple values.

1….Do they have a solid moral fiber?

2….Do they treat my children( and others) with respect and kindness?

3…Do they treat their parents with respect and kindness?

4….Do they have a criminal record?

5…Are they spiritually like-minded?

I don’t care where they come from. As long as they treat my daughters and son with respect, then they are welcome in our home. Life is difficult these days…most especially for our teenagers. How unfortunate would it be to limit an experience as awesome as a first love because of the color of someone’s skin? And just a small note to all you parents of potential suitors…..regardless of your son’s nationality, my husband will probably hold a gun to his head at some point. So I apologize in advance:)

By Theresa

October 25, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this

Hey Wise Diva — thanks for such nice comments the other day— you were sooo sweet to make a special point to visit us!!

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

I hear alot of people talk about “social stigma” but being someone in an interracial marriage, 99% of the stares, comments etc. we receive are from black females. However, when we travel we are mindful of the little towns we stop at,no need to invite trouble.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s girl~ Mr. Jesse and Mr. Bella have alot in common then! He already freaks when my friends little boy (he and GiGi are only 4!) spends the night. we’re talking baby gate up in both rooms, and he sleeps on the couch. the poor kids sit by the doors and talk for an hour before falling asleep! I pity her first real boyfriend. She has a ton of “uncles” (daddy’s friends who just adore her) who will gladly take out any little boy who breaks her heart.

By morgan

October 25, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

stay involved~ that is interesting. I would not have expected that.

Our pastor adopted a little black girl and mexican twin girls. What race they would date was a big question in our little town. He comes from a racist family who completely turned around when those girls came home. they have done wonders for our community. He says as long as they are christians he doesn’t care if they are purple. Of course my son is already courting all three of them.

we talked the other day and he said ” I had a dream that Jack was driving up the driveway and Lori said but Daddy I love him!” I died laughing.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

All of this brings about a question close to both my best friend and myself. My best friend is a black woman. She and I have talked at great length of all the stigma attached to inter-racial dating and marriage. We have even received the stares…going so far as other black people coming up to us while we are out and asking her if she is trying to hook me up with a “brother”. We always laugh and go about our business. Even she can’t offer up any reasonable excuse for why this attitude lingers. Why a lot of white women date black men and why black women are so infequently seen with a white man….it seems so ridiculous to us. I have set her up with every color in the Crayola box….just trying to find her a good, honest man. If someone finds love, true love, why does anyone care where they are from or what color their skin is? I want my best friend in life to be happy…period. Next week she is going out with an Irishman….I’ll keep you posted!

By Brian Curtis

October 25, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

As long as they’re not Southern Baptist, I don’t care what race they are. You’ve got to have some standards, after all.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

Very Good Topic, Theresa. Here’s my take on it.

My dad is Dominican. My mom although born in the USA was conceived out of wedlock in France by a black French woman and a white French man. My siblings and I were raised black due to the darkness of my father’s skin. I being a “black” woman married my first husband whose grandparents were an interracial couple. My first son looks either light-skinned black or dark-skinned white. My second son was the product of me having a relationship with a hazel-eyed dirty blond white man. Now have you ever heard of anything more skewed in your entire life? At this point I wouldn’t care who my sons picked to date, as long as she is a decent, respectable young lady.

By Randy

October 25, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

Yes as long as they’re Southern Baptist. You’ve have to have some standards, after all.

By Kerry

October 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it, although I think my husband might. I have an aunt that had a baby by a black man and my grandparents disowned her. This was 33 years ago and about 3 years ago they finally made contact with her. My aunt has been living in NY since her daughter was about 3, but the daughter moved down here and lived with my family about 6 years ago. She’s still here and loves GA. It sucks that she’s just now getting to know our grandparents. It makes me angry to think that I’m related to people that were so hateful, but my aunt and cousin aren’t holding grudge, so I try not to think about it. Besides that, we’ve all coem to the conclusion that my grandparents are nuts anyway. More on the topic - no I would mind if my daughter dated someone outside of our race. As long as the person treats her well and is an upstanding citizen, it doesn’t matter what they look like.

By SW

October 25, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this

I want my kids to date and marry within their race. I would very dissapointed if they didn’t for reasons a concerned parent should have with their kids. Any relatioship is hard enough, why add another layer of potential trouble. Also, the kids a mixed race relationship produces may not be as welcome as some of us want to think if the marriage ends in divorce and one person wants to remarry. My kids ahve friends of other races but when it comes to marriage and having kids, I am firm in my belief that a marriage within their own race has a better chance of surviving.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Thats funny Brian….when Mr. Jesse proposed I immediately called my grandfather who was a high ranking deacon in the Baptist church. I was very nervous seeing as how I had just agreed to marry a Jew. My grandfather looked me straight in the eye and said…” At least he’s not Methodist!”. My other grandfather is a Methodist minister…..he was also grateful I wasn’t marrying a Baptist.

By Stinky Sullivan

October 25, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this

I only date white women. But then again, as a fine black man, it comes naturally.

To each their own, I say, however!

sS

By kevmoor

October 25, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

I would defiantly let my daughters date outside of there race, I have two beautiful teenage girls that are a product of an interracial couple. You would think as a parent rising kids in the twenty first century that the color of a person’s skin is not of an issue anymore. What can a white guy do or provide for my daughters that Black, Hispanic, or Asian guy can’t provide. As parents my wife and I are more concern with the person they date has integrity, morals, respect and intelligence more than their race.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Shouldn’t we put our kids happiness above our own opinions and beliefs. Who can say what color skin the person will have that loves your kid the best. That’s all that matters.

By Theresa

October 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

do you guys think there are some racial combinations that are more acceptable than other mixes?? I don’t think people think much about an asian and a caucasian or an hispanic and a caucasian — what do you guys think?

I think people wonder what my husband is (half Italian, half Filipino) but I don’t think they think of us an interracial even though we are.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

SW… you may be right. But my hope is that dealing with the potential drama of a mixed race relationship is the biggest problem my children will ever have to face.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

SW, I respectfully disagree and have to say you are worried about problems but your thinking IS the problem. If receiving a sneer by an ignorant person on Marta on our way to a Falcons game makes our marriage more difficult, that is news to me. Race has never caused any problems in our marriage. As far as our child, we don’t make decisions by planning what might happen if we divorce, that’s no way to live. And our son has not had a problem yet with friends, peers, etc. If anything, he has a larger group he can relate to since he embraces both races.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Theresa…the hard truth is this…..it is considered romantic to marry someone of European descent. There is still a stigma when a white woman marries a black man or a Hispanic man. And lets be clear….there is a socially perceived difference between a Spaniard and someone of South American descent. Why…I couldn’t answer that. But in my experience, it seems the ridicule lies with dating or marrying a black person or a South American Spanish speaking person. So you are right….your marriage is very likely not perceived as inter-racial.

By jsmom

October 25, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

ITA with what Raqi said at 9:52.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this

Theresa from what I was made to believe growing up, caucasian pretty much consisted of what we refer as white now, asian, hispanic, and any other nationality that was not Black or Jewish. I think that’s why those combinations are not frowned upon.

By sobegape

October 25, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

I would very much prefer that my son not date or marry outside the race. I have never been inclined to do so, even though I have been approached often. It’s just not something with which I am comfortable.

By lori

October 25, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

I used to have a big issue with interracial dating. But as I got older I realized that sometimes you cannot help who you have chemistry with. I am african american and I will admit that I have dated a couple of caucasian men. It wasnt serious to the point where we met each others families but my family does not have a problem accepting me if I was to walk in the door with a caucasian man on my arm. To all parents the only thing that I have to say is that either you can accept who your child brings home or you might lose them forever. Think about it. And i just have one more thing to say to the man who contracted to have his daughter-in-law killed and the parents that tried to have the granddaughter killed because the father of the baby was african american that is really ignorant.

By Wednesday

October 25, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

I married the one and only black man I ever went out with. In the seven years we were together, I cannot remember one single incident of “intolerance” towards us. We are now divorced, but we have a child together, who is absolutely beautiful. She has georgeous “carmel” colored skin, and beautiful dark brown hair, with natural blondish highlights (I am of scandanavian descent). She is just stunning, if you ask me, and people have stopped dead in their tracks to look at her, and she has been told by strangers that she is beautiful. She has the most beautiful eyes, smile and perfectly straight teeth (no braces needed) of any child I have ever seen, but then again I am biased ;). The only encounters we have had, is black women coming up to me and asking “Is that your baby?”. I have been asked what nationality her father is, and the majority of people asking thought he was hispanic. I have no idea who she will date, but if they treat her with respect, and are of good moral character, then whatever is ok with me. Her happiness is more important than anything else.

By abc

October 25, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

I don’t think it’s practical to think one can ‘allow’ or ‘disallow’ any aspect of their children’s dating. Shoot, once they’re well into their teens, it’s a challenge to have them listen to you about most anything!

Read this story and be sure to watch the video at the bottom of the page. It’s the most inspirational parenting story I’ve seen in a long time, maybe ever.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

Raqi….black is not a nationality. Jewish is a religion. Noy trying to be a smart a$$…just bugs me a little.

By Staceye

October 25, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this

I have dated every race on this planet and I love it!! I do not judge a man on his race…just height, handsomeness, intelligence, financial stability, morals and humor. I am a Black/Dominican woman who just loves men of all races. So if my future children decide to date other races I would say go for it. Never limit your possibilities because they are not the same race…but in actuality we are the same race, THE HUMAN RACE!!!

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

I think for white families, some races are made to be more acceptable. I know there are a lot of filipino women married to older white men in the town I live in. no one thinks anything of it. but a white woman married to a black or mexican man. All hell breaks lose. Puerto Ricans are considered as are asian but not middle easterners (not really a word is it?) And it is different for men and women. Here they believe white women should only date white men. But white men can for the most part date and marry who ever they want. As long as they christians. Growing up in Alpharetta and Dunwoody with parents who where very open minded and tolerant, this was a total culture shock when I moved down here.

I agree Theresa, people wouldn’t see you as interacial because of the color of skin. Sad isn’t it.

By KP

October 25, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

It’s funny that a lot of people here say that they don’t mind their children dating inter-racially, but then turn right around and say “as long as the person is the same religion.”

Whether you understand it or not, that’s still being a bigot. What does having someone brainwashed in the same “religious philosophy” have to do with your child’s happiness?

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

ABC…..Thank you for blessing me this morning. Forget about who your child wants to be with…….BE THAT PARENT! Be the one that loves as unconditionally as God Himself did with His Son. Thank you again ABC

By RM

October 25, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

I would let my children date outside of their race. I just want them to be happy, respected and loved. No matter what race they date or marry.

Theresa… the fact (or maybe perception of most people) is that there are only two races…Black and White. If you’re not black, you’re white.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

“She has georgeous “carmel” colored skin, and beautiful dark brown hair, with natural blondish highlights “

she sounds beautiful. I realized how out of touch my grandmother was when she said “those little black babies are always the cutest.” i mean come on

By 4theLongHaul

October 25, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s girl Correction: Black is simply another term used equivalent to African American, which IS a nationality.

I have no children but if I did, I wouldn’t care who they chose to take on as a companion, as long as they are loving, respecting, have moral values and are of like faith.

I think the reason why black females, which I happen to be, have issues with seeing black men with white/non-black females (not that I’m condoning or agreeing) is because there is already a shortage of decent/available/non-homosexual/unincarcerated black males for us to find and then to see the ones that are available with a white/non-black female is kind of insulting, or moreso, reduces our choices even the more (giving us a sense of greater hopelessness). Just my vantage point.

Nice to see my other blog friends over here

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

KP because A) we don’t call it brainwashing (now who’s being a bigot?) and B) because our religions tell us our way is the only way to get to heaven (christians, jews, muslims). Obviously we want our children and grandchildren to go to heaven.

By Jay

October 25, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this

So it just got me thinking: Do today’s parents accept interracial dating?

I’m thinking some do and some don’t. Who allows you to post all this bait?

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

KP-You obviously have a problem with religion to start with, but I can understand wanting to marry within your religion because that is so intertwined with how we live our daily lives and raise our children. Differences there can lead to quite a bit of conflict.

By Michelle

October 25, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

In the gay community, interracial dating is so commonplace, no one gives it a second thought. Maybe we’re more accepting in general, considering how we already get discriminated against just for being gay. I think it’s a double standard how whites who are opposed to interracial dating are considered “racist” while blacks who oppose it can claim they’re just “protecting their identity”

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

I have always wondered why people have a problem with race or more PC ethnicity. We all have same DNA and Chromosomes, people behave as if race=different species. Human is Human. I would not have a problem with marrying or dating out side my ethnicity due to the face that all of us are the product of interracial dating and marrying. 100% of your african americans are of mixed race weather we want to admit it or not. My father’s father is Cherokee and african american and his mother was black foot and african american. My mother’s mother was jamacian and african american and my mother’s father was Irish-german caucasian and african american. this is more common then not in african american communities we are just taught to identify and classify ourselves with what our exterior shows. When filling out applications i always put OTHER cause i am of mixed race. I had one company change my ethnicity/race to African American cause she said i “looked” black. I give honor to all my heritage from the native american, european and african diasporas So for anyone of African decent to have a problem with interracial dating or marriages is beyond me. Maternal Grandparents had 7 children when i tell you that they were from the blue black to albino. Because the world during that time period had a problem with race/ethnicity it caused division amongst my mother and her sibblings. I said all that to say that we all come from the same gene pool. It is society that projects it problem with interracial dating. Love doesn’t have a color but Hate and intolerance dos.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

To those who ‘think’ they wouldn’t have a problem, I say ‘think’ again. While I have no problem with people dating ‘interracially’, I doubt those people take into account the potential impact not only on themselves, but their families, friends etc. To those who say - if they’re truly your friends it shouldn’t matter - it does. Regardless of how we feel things should be or would like them to be in the “21st” century, reality is much different. In the end it’s not only the “daters” lives that are involved - it’s parents, relatives, friends and society in general. Not to mention the potential for children either now or in the future and the potential fallout for them.

Should things work that way - probably not. But let’s not kid ourselves either.

By Qsgirl

October 25, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Great topic Theresa. Hey WiseD! SS I see you’re over here, causing trouble, LOL! My AA mother is married to a WM, and he always says he’s a black man trapped inside a white man’s body. Would eat you under the table about some collard greens!I personally, have date men of different races, and wasn’t concerned by it at all. I did notice the looks we got, and beacuse I am an attrractive AAFM, made some people even more upset that I wasn’t with an AAM. It was funny to me, because I’ve always thought people should be with whom they chose. I have a 12yo daughter, that attends schools in Fayette county. She has 3 little white boys that “like” her. At her age I don’t care if they are purple, that “liking” bizness is out. But, when she’s old enough, say in 6 yrs, she can date who she wants. I think we put each other down, amongst our own races, more than anyone else ever could.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

4theLongHaul…….you and I will just have to disagree. Black is a color, not a nationality. For that matter, I don’t think African American is a true nationality. It has become a PC term. PC bothers me. If you are in fact directly from Africa, but now reside in this country….then are indeed African American. But if you and your family have been here for generations…..then you are straight up American. There are enough issues to divide and seperate us as a people….this one is simply unneccessary. If my husband and I went by such labels…we would need extra hours in the day to identify ourselves.

By Willy Wonka

October 25, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

Perhaps one day we can get to a point where we don’t see groups, but instead see people. It’s curious that the vast majority of comments don’t have issues with mixing of races, but still separate people by our factors (sexuality and religion are mentioned) and believe those separations are perfectly justified. In years past, most people also believed their racial prejudices were perfectly justified.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

EB, either you live in a dream world or a very small town. That is just not the way it works anymore. I live that life and so do my parents & kid, not one issue…ever!

By Keep it Real

October 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

FYI…Hispanic is NOT a race, it’s a nationality. We’re talking caucasian (European, white), negroid (black Africans), mongoloid (Chinese, Eskimo, Native Americans, and australoid (Australian Aborigines).

As for agreeing or disagreeing with inter-racial dating/marriage, I say no. There is a reason there are different races, and they should remain that way. HOWEVER…if my child falls in love, that person treats them well, is a productive member of society, etc., then it’s not up to me to say yay or nay. By then, they are old enough to decide for themselves. My kids know my stance on racial mixing, and have respect for it, just like they know I respect their opinions.

By msteven

October 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

I see NO Problem with it what so ever. I am a dark skinned black male. I have a very special love for several white singers beginining with Elvis, the beatles, Tony Bennett, Stresiand(Barbra the one and only)as well as actresses..Marilyn Monroe, judy garland(singer) and many others. I LOVED them. Does that make me a sellout?. I love several of black artists and make no comparisons. People are just People. Would I date a white person. Yup. Now with that said. I aint to sure about a Muslim or religons that have alot of restrictions. Infact any religion with too many restrictions I pass on. I dont care if the person is black white or green. some folks take this religion stuff..wayyyyyyyyy too serious for my licking. As for race, I dont care. Just give me the same unconditional love I give you in return. Everything else, color wise is irrevelent as we are All Humans with different beliefs and cultures that separate us.In this New World, the color of one’s skin should not Make any difference, for get about the OLD world. Its dead and over and in the Past.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

To clarify what I mean when I say ‘think’ again - It is very easy to say ‘I wouldn’t have an issue’ when the situation is hypothetical (yes even involving children you have / may have and who they may / may not date in the future is hypothetical).

Seeing it evolve 1st hand is entirely different.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

EB, you make excellent points. We all say it is okay but it is a fact that we will not go against the grain most time with our families. Also, children of mixed marriages still suffer intolerance from other chlldren and their parents. I don’t think anyone can deny this.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

Great point Michelle….

I think it’s a double standard how whites who are opposed to interracial dating are considered “racist” while blacks who oppose it can claim they’re just “protecting their identity”

If white people behaved towards my husband and I the way some black females have it would be on the cover of the AJC! Just shameful.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

Fine then Jesse. Any one other than African and Hebrew descendants.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

Eb if we all were to worry about what others thing and the outcome or backlash that our family and friends will receieve this world would be one big clone. I am sure that you have done somethings in your life that would embrass your parents and friends if they knew but you didn’t care cause you did what made you happy. LETS NO KIDS OURSELVES with that. my mother’s who is of light complexion marrying my father who is of dark complexion cause they were afraid of what people might thing. 38 years later the same people that had a problem with that look back and see that there concerns were not valid. My father treats my mother like a queen and they have the longest marriage in my family’s history and still are head over heels in love with each other. The same family and friends who so opposed there marriage are having problem maintaining theirs. You can’t live your life doing what makes other’s happy, that is when you are living for someone else and not yourself. What good is marrying someone in your race when they treat you like dirt just to make your family and friends happy???

By SW

October 25, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

I see a couple of interesting post made toward my input. Stinky can add that as a black man he only dates white women, admitting he won’t even date his own race. One poster upper cased all races except for white, interesting. I know what people say about mixed couples; I hear it all the time and I do not wish for my children to go through it. Men that marry Asian women are percieved as wanting a ‘traditional’ wife, black men that marry white women do it for status and white women that marry black men can’t get a decent white guy. Do I agree with these perceptions? No. Do I agree they exist, yes.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

I think some racial combinations you do see more than others and they are accepted more than others. When white people marry someone of european decent it’s okay and even asian and hisplanics are okay because for the most part they are still white. However when it comes to people from other races that are darker skinned or black I think it’s less accepted because there is a negative connotation that comes with that and that has to do with access to loans, capital and climbing the corporate ladder and the challenges that come with that having darker skin. I applaud white women who do marry black me knowing what socially black men no matter how well educated or hardworking are up against as far as society goes. I see whites/asian, whites/white hispanics, whites/indians(from the country india). I don’t see very many blacks/Indians(from the country india). I was told that was a non/no. They’ll date black men but when it comes to getting married I was told that was a non/no. As fro me I don’t care what race she is as long as she is cute, likes the arts and if she doesn’t like football doesn’t mind watching a game ane eating wings with me from time to time and romantic and yes foes to church. On another comment that was made it is rediculous to call people that go to church and have a certain belief system to “being brainwashed into a certain religious philosophy” For example me being Christian isn’t a philosophy but a faith and BELIEF and far from philosophy. In Christianity there is truth while in philosophy you talk and talk, talk, talk and talk some more with no answers being found while I have found truth and moved on to new business.

By abc

October 25, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

‘African American’, as an alternative to ‘Black’ or ‘Negro’, is obviously descriptive of race, not nationality or national origin. I don’t think it’s a matter of splitting hairs, but rather concrete definition of terms, nothing wrong with that.

Now, suppose your white 16 year old daughter shows up with her black 16 year old date. If you don’t like it, what do you think you can do about it? If you forbid it, that’ll only make them more determined to see each other. Don’t any of you have teenage kids?

I’d say it’s not so much a matter of parents being more or less accepting of it, but rather a matter of whether the kids themselves are more or less open to it. I think that kids today ARE more open to inter-racial dating. Us fogies had better get used to it. The best we can do is point out the obvious pitfalls, so that they can better prepare themselves to deal with them.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

Saying there is not one problem ever is like saying you’re not predjudiced - its a lie

By gavi1126

October 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

* Good morning*

I see a lot of familiar Bloggers from my favorite blog..

Hai WD, Raqi, and all..

I’m luving this topic as i can defeneitly relate. I’m from south-east Asia and have been dating black guys for a minute now. Its still an awakward situation at times but Atlanta has come up a lot when it comes to inter-racial dating. Women are more likely to be the ones “hating” then men. Men are rather more open to dating other races then us women.

Another positive of interracial dating is the kids.. they just come out beautiful. Speaking from what i’ve seen!!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

a Person who was born in an african country would not refer to themselves as African American, they would refer to themselves as Senegalese-American or Congolese-American African-American is a term just like European or Asian American for people who have NO CLUE to their family’s direct origins. If you are Irish-American or Italian-American you obviously know the direct country of Origin that your family is from. So when people use the term of African American it means that they have no clue of their family’s direct origin other then they are of the African diaspora

By Michelle

October 25, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

There is a reason there are different races, and they should remain that way.

What reason is that, Keep it Rollin? As far as I’m concerned, we’re all mutts. No one is “pure” anymore.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

SW, I’m sorry to say if that is what you are hearing from those around you, you are hanging out with some truly ignorant people and shouldn’t expose your children to ignorance no matter what the topic.

By Cletus Snow

October 25, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

We have friends who are a interacial couple they tell us that both sides of their families have pretty much abandoned them, which is why they came to the ATL area.They see Atl as much more accepting. They are choosing not to have children because of a lack of family acceptance.

By ut96

October 25, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

There are too many other problems in the world for me to worry or care about the race of someone I or someone else is going to date.

By mombie

October 25, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

Your all a bunch of troopers! Its whats on the inside that counts! Oh, the View is on!, those girls are troopers!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

There is documentary called “Journey of Man” it tracks and traces back the origin of man. That documentary is powerful in that it shows that we ALL no matter the country that you have a citizenship in are from the same Origin. However there is a documentary called “GUNS, GERMS and STEEL” which explains how interracial mixing by choice and by force has lead to the different ethnicities of our Modern time. Those two documentaries both done by men of the European Diaspora are very powerful.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

stayinvolved - actually neither. I’m here in Atlanta and see it exactly as I’ve described it every day.

So you’re telling me - no one has ever looked at your and your husband and done a double take? no sideways glances? I wouldn’t expect someone to confront you directly in the PC world we live in, but just because they dont’ doesn’t mean they accept your situation. Perhaps you’re the one living in a ‘dream world’.

By Momma Mia

October 25, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

I’m a white female with a black female best friend/neighbor. (I know…it’s cliche’) We have discussed the race thing, and inter-racial relationships. We agree that races should marry within themselves, but we don’t get hysterical if we seen mixed couples. It’s not our business…we’re just expressing our honest opinions. It’s not just a “white thing” to not want racial mixing. The blacks and other races are just as against the mixing as the caucasians…if not more so.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

I don’t like the term african american myself. I am a black man and was born in tennessee which means I am all american and would like to be called just that. One way I do differentiate myself from others is by saying this…..GO VOLS!!!

By Jessalyn Anglin

October 25, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

*”Shouldn’t we put our kids happiness above our own opinions and beliefs. Who can say what color skin the person will have that loves your kid the best. That’s all that matters.” *

Very well said, Raqi.

I’ve been in an interracial relationship (in Atlanta) for almost 11 years and have NOT experienced what SW fears. Our family’s have NOT experienced any “fallout” as EB suggests, either. Our three beautiful biracial children are not experiencing any fallout, either.

Of course, we’ll be open to them dating whoever they choose regardless of race or gender. As long as the person is treating my child right, why should it matter? The man I’m married to is the most wonderful man in the world. How stupid would I have been to miss out on that by limiting who I chose to marry by race? How deplorable would it be of me to prevent my children from finding a love as great as this by limiting who they can date by race, gender, or religion?

By Brian Curtis

October 25, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

KP: That’s why I laid the religion trap, and Randy fell right into it!

I guess bigotry’s okay as long as it’s not based on race, hmm?

By MA

October 25, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Date outside their race? Absolutely forbidden! They must date humans and only human. And they must be full humans not half-human. Other than that, I am okay. (So long as they are not cigarette smokers.)

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Some People Change-Maybe the reason I can say Never, Ever is because my parents have made decisions their entire lives about who they associate with, have friendships with, go to church with, etc. based on their value systems. And therefore, my husband and I have have picked friends, neighbors, school, church etc. that do not conflict with our choices.
It amazes me that you refuse to believe that folks can live without it being an issue.

By Heavens!

October 25, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

“When white people marry someone of European descent, it’s ok”…that’s a redundant statement. Caucasian IS defined as “European whites”.

By ChrisD

October 25, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

The problem with interracial dating is the culture clash. My white brother dated a Korean girl for a while, and her parents treated him like garbage. People think whites are racist, but other races are much much worse. I wouldn’t let my daughter date anyone who listens to rap (white or black) because that type of music creates or encourages disrespect toward women. It’s not a black thing, but I think the culture clashes too much. Interestingly, I once took a pretty black girl to Six Flags in NJ. We got some pretty nasty looks. Once guy said something to me and I replied “Don’t worry we’re not dating.” He looked relieved. “She’s my sister.”

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

EB-If you have read my posts you would know that we have received our share of looks. But what do I care what someone on Marta thinks about me?
People are judgemental (race, looks, clothing, status, car, etc.) if you start living your life worried about what complete strangers think of you, there is not enough therapy in the world!

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

You misunderstand what I am saying. I wish people were color blind, but they are not. And these people here telling you its okay, well a lot of them say that but they don’t mean it, at least not all of what they said. And everyone on this earth, no matter what they say, are prejudiced against someone.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

Stay involved, look at your statement: you said you and your parents carefully choice who to deal with, where to live and such. That means you all didn’t want to deal with what you know is outside this little realm of yours.

By danish

October 25, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

I am Jewish, my husband is not. My parents raised us in a pretty observant home. Several years back when my sister started to get serious with a guy from Italy, my mom was excited, and asked my dad if he was excited too, and he said, how will you feel the morning you have to go to your grandson’s baptism? That was a dose of reality for all of us, and it stayed with me.

Now,I was concerned how he would react when we found out we were expecting, but he was so thrilled to be a grandpa, the issue never came up again. Especially since we had a bris for the baby and not a circumcision in the hospital.

(It never worked out for my sister and the Italian guy….now she is dating an Asian fellow. My parents are on the fence about him. Not because he is Asian, but because he is so much older than her)

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

isidingo - There’s a distinction b/w doing certain things. getting a DUI can be / should be embarrassing but it’s not something that directly impacts others (assuming of course you didn’t kill / maim anyone). It’s your personal issue and something you should learn from.

Dating interracially doesn’t only affect you - whether you think so or not. Personally, I think if you’ve found someone who makes you happy, they’re respectable citizens etc then good for you, and I’m happy for you. Reality is that society, your parents, friends, relatives may not see it the same way… I have a hard time simply throwing away my parents et al. views in light of the countless sacrifices they made getting me to this stage is life.

By God's Children

October 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

My wife and I have three young adults.Our oldest son has a girl friend who seems to really care for each deepley. We have and will never try to dictate our feelings on whom they date of any race as long as they are happy!!!!! Isn’t that the bottom line happiness. Besides scripture in book of Act..says (from one man (Adam)came all mankind) Shouldn’t we focus on trying to love and help one another rather than the color of one’s spouse or partner!!!

By religion is debatable

October 25, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

I think the difference in discriminating in race and in religion is race is totally physical (skin color, lip/nose size, etc.), whereas religion connotes a certain personality and frame of mind. I wouldn’t have a problem dating a Middle Eastern girl, but if she was a Muslim it probably wouldn’t be cool (I’m a lapsed Catholic and mainly atheist). I could (have, actually) date a Mexican girl, but if she is a very strong Catholic (she was) it probably wouldn’t work (it didn’t). Religion and the mindset it either reflects or inspires is a deep, deep issue and one you can’t blow off. Black/white works much easier than Christian/Muslim I guarantee you.

By Joyce

October 25, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

I wouldn’t have a problem with my son dating another race. If it were to become more serious, fine; I would just hope he went in with both eyes wide open. Our (adopted) son is Hispanic (Native descent), my husband is Hispanic (white) and I am White (non-Hispanic). We’ve not encountered much hostility, but we do get curious stares sometimes. No big deal. He and his girlfriend/wife might encounter hostility, but then again they might not.

BTW, Hispanic is not a nationality. Hispanics are from all over North, Central and South America, as well as from Spain.

By Jaszmin

October 25, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

I’m in my late 20’s I dated a white guy in H.S. & still will if he’s everything I want in a man. Peresonally I’m for whatever!! but more attracted to the Black, smooth rich skin of a A/A brother however you will find stumbles & trials along he way of interracial dating. My brother is dating a Cambodian girl & they’re getting much heat from her family about it. I will say this some black women have a issue with white women dating our black men for many reason’s Some I understand but don’t condone but at the same time U have brothers that ONLY date white women because their weak in their own manhood. A strong brother will date whomever but usually stick within his race. the other brother chose the white gal because she will allow him to do whatever, say whatever when he pleases & we STRONG black women aint going for that & brothers most can’t take it so they opt out for that white chic who will allow him to do whatever he please & that’s the story my friends.
“BEHIND EVERY STRONG BLACK MAN, STANDS A STRONG BLACK WOMAN”

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

stayinvolved - You say you have your share of ‘looks’ but also that you have never had an ‘issue’. Seems contradictory.

My point - There are / will be issues with interracial dating. Should there be - maybe/maybe not. Should the opinion of strangers matter? Depends on how they communicate it I suppose (normally not). Should you consider all elements of the situation before-hand & with a realistic view? I think you should. Should you consider the impact to your family&relatives? I think that’s only fair given their potential sacrifices for you.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

gavi1126-I agree with you about most of the hating coming from women. I have dated white women in the past and i have gotten the looks and even when i have been out with a girl that was just a friend. I just go down the line and ask girls black, white, yellow or whatever and the first one who says yes i go out with. I PREFER girl who prefer me whatever race they are. I am going to open a BIG can of worms with this one but for awhile black women didn’t seem interested in me and white and hispanix women were so that’s who I went out with. The girls I have dated recently have been bi-racial (black/white, black/cuban or black/white/puerto rican) and all have been attractive and cool. Me and my black guy friends have college degrees, no kids, never been married, employed, laid-back, like sports and no drama and we still have problems getting black women interested in us as marrigable material which is interesting. If the “others” are interested I am not gonna not date just waiting on black women to recognize the kind of guy I(we) are. get in where you fit in is what I say. My parents never had a race talk with me and my momz said it’s more important how she treats me that what race she is. GO MOM!!

By BTW

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

BTW…Hispanic is NOT a race, by definition.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

I identify with being mixed race even though my exterior is African American. No other ethnicity has had to deal with a name change every decade like people of the african diaspora that were born in United States. COOL BREEZE I can relate to you with being called BLACK cause alot of people don’t understand that African Americans still have to have there voting rights renewed. No other ethnicity has to deal with that every 25 years. So alot of people would not want there children subjected to that kind thing. I am a cornacopia of ethnicities so there for I am mixed race. In college I have dated different Ethnicities. I went to college in Nashville, TN even thou it is in the bible belt it is one of the biggest examples of a city that is full of mixed marriages. When you go to the highschools 70% of the children are of Mixed marriages. My first girlfriend was from India and she went to Vanderbilt. She stop dating me cause when i met her mother and father, no matter how well i treated her, her parents said that they would disown her if our relationship went any further. I was heart broken, but I understood and we are close friends to this day. I dated a white girl at David Lipsomb after her, a Filopino girl from Middle Tennessee State, and a few African American females from my own university of Tennessee State. I got the nick name of UN (United Nations) because i didn’t have a problem with ethnicity, however females at my unversity gave me a hard time calling me a sell out. It was not until i invited my friends to a family reunion did they see that my family has all ethnicities due to the fact that I come from a long line of Military men. German, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Korean, Italian, Japanese, Somolian, South African, British, Mexican, Jamaican, Trinidadian, etc. My family reunion looks like a Gathering of the UN. 90% of the children in my family speaks 3 languages fluently. I would not trade my family for a Homogenous one, we are well adjusted and tolerant of our extremely diverse family. Yes we are looked on as being Strange, but Love has no color, race or ethnicity associated with it, but ignorance, intolerance and Hate DOES.

By ut96

October 25, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

coolbreeze, LOL, I thought was the only Vol around these boards.

Go Vols

By kevmoor

October 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

I still to this day do not understand when people say “when a Black man dates or marries a White women”, he’s doing it for status….. What status? There’s no certain status with being with a white person, ummm maybe the two are together because they met and decided they like each other and chose to be a couple… simple as that.

By SBW

October 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

The divisions of the human species. These include the Mongoloid, Caucasoid, Negroid (including Cogoid an