MOMania

By Pillsbury Doughboy

October 25, 2006 08:44 AM | Link to this

Interracial dating? I’m fine with it. My son or daughter could marry or date whomever they chose—-as long as their rich, heheheehe. But just because someone doesn’t approve doesn’t make them a racist to me. I know people who are Catholic and don’t want their kids dating Protestants. I know people who are Jewish who don’t want their kids dating anybody out of their religion. It happens all down the line. Certain interracial relationships are already accepted by most people anyway (White-Hispanic, White-Asian, et cetera). It’s all subjective. And what is race anyway?

By H

October 25, 2006 08:45 AM | Link to this

This is a pretty touchy subject. Some people are still stuck in the early 1900’s when it comes to race. My own grandfather feels my adopted black son belongs in the fields pulling weeds for pennies a day.

I don’t have a problem with people of a different race, color or creed. It’s all about attitude. Whether your black or white, if your attitude sucks, I don’t want you around me or my kids.

Now, with this said, I fully expect my child to look beyond color when he is of age to date. He is a young AA male being raised in a white home. My daughter was unexpected (biological) so his own sister is of a different race (of course, as am I). We are all people, it doesn’t matter what color the skin is.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 08:45 AM | Link to this

Theresa, much better than the sperm & cell phone issue, thanks for listening to your audience.

This one hits close to home for me, hubbie and I are different races and of course son is bi-racial. Our families never had an issue with it, kind of surprising considering the generation they are from.

We joke about what type of woman our son will marry since he is biracial but actually looks Puerto Rican (he is not Puerto Rican) but we could really care less. As long as she is kind, considerate, loving and not money hungry. I think this tends to be more of an issue in the south, in the North, West & East interracial couples/families are everywhere.

By dude

October 25, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

We’re caucasian. My wife doesn’t care if my daughter dates other races, as long as the boy has good Christian morals. And its not ok to have sex, but if she is going to, she should tell her so Mom can get birth control started. Just don’t be a lesbian, she says. I say we lock her in her room until she’s 30.

By southernmommy

October 25, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

H I agree one hundred percent.

By I think with a drawl

October 25, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

We are all the same color when the lights go off!

By Wise Diva

October 25, 2006 09:04 AM | Link to this

Wow, I hadn’t heard about this Theresa. That is outrageous. My parents were not surprised when I dated outside my race in HS, because I went to predominantly white schools from K-12. I don’t imagine they took it that seriously at that age because it was all puppy love anyway. They were very tolerant (or appeared to be) and didn’t discourage friendships with anyone.

It’s funny that now that I am older, my dad voices concern about my interracial dating. I guess the chances of having a “Guess Who’s Coming TO Dinner” scenario play out doesn’t sit well with him now. I can understand why he has his reservations about it though. He grew up as a young black man in the 50s, in the deep south (Alabama), Jim Crow-era. Even if he supported me having friends from all races, when it comes to marrying, he thinks I should be with someone of my race, because of the social stigma. He probably would have a really hard time if I actually married a white guy. Mom wouldn’t mind though.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this

I agree that it is more of an issue in the south. My grandparents would have a fit, but ultimatly I am the parent.

Race is lesser issue in our home. what we will object to is dating someone of a different religion. It is just our beliefs. The only hesitation I would have on them dating another race, would be more concern for both of them and the ridicule they would receive from other people.

I also know AA families who would object to the kids dating white kids. I dated a AA guy for all of about a week. When the women in his family found out, they fliped. Cussed both of us out. That was the end of that.

H you are a wonderful person for standing up to your family for the love of your child. We are looking into adopting and have been concerned about our families if we did do an interacial adoption.

By Mike

October 25, 2006 09:08 AM | Link to this

Persnally I hope my daughter never decides to date someone of another race but if she did I would accept it and certainly not resort to violence to stop it.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

I hope you have your gloves on Theresa…you’re gonna need them today. And not for the cold.

Yes, absolutely. I would have no problem with my children dating whom they please. We do have to approve of them as long as they are living in our home. But the rules will be based upon very simple values.

1….Do they have a solid moral fiber?

2….Do they treat my children( and others) with respect and kindness?

3…Do they treat their parents with respect and kindness?

4….Do they have a criminal record?

5…Are they spiritually like-minded?

I don’t care where they come from. As long as they treat my daughters and son with respect, then they are welcome in our home. Life is difficult these days…most especially for our teenagers. How unfortunate would it be to limit an experience as awesome as a first love because of the color of someone’s skin? And just a small note to all you parents of potential suitors…..regardless of your son’s nationality, my husband will probably hold a gun to his head at some point. So I apologize in advance:)

By Theresa

October 25, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this

Hey Wise Diva — thanks for such nice comments the other day— you were sooo sweet to make a special point to visit us!!

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

I hear alot of people talk about “social stigma” but being someone in an interracial marriage, 99% of the stares, comments etc. we receive are from black females. However, when we travel we are mindful of the little towns we stop at,no need to invite trouble.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s girl~ Mr. Jesse and Mr. Bella have alot in common then! He already freaks when my friends little boy (he and GiGi are only 4!) spends the night. we’re talking baby gate up in both rooms, and he sleeps on the couch. the poor kids sit by the doors and talk for an hour before falling asleep! I pity her first real boyfriend. She has a ton of “uncles” (daddy’s friends who just adore her) who will gladly take out any little boy who breaks her heart.

By morgan

October 25, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

stay involved~ that is interesting. I would not have expected that.

Our pastor adopted a little black girl and mexican twin girls. What race they would date was a big question in our little town. He comes from a racist family who completely turned around when those girls came home. they have done wonders for our community. He says as long as they are christians he doesn’t care if they are purple. Of course my son is already courting all three of them.

we talked the other day and he said ” I had a dream that Jack was driving up the driveway and Lori said but Daddy I love him!” I died laughing.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

All of this brings about a question close to both my best friend and myself. My best friend is a black woman. She and I have talked at great length of all the stigma attached to inter-racial dating and marriage. We have even received the stares…going so far as other black people coming up to us while we are out and asking her if she is trying to hook me up with a “brother”. We always laugh and go about our business. Even she can’t offer up any reasonable excuse for why this attitude lingers. Why a lot of white women date black men and why black women are so infequently seen with a white man….it seems so ridiculous to us. I have set her up with every color in the Crayola box….just trying to find her a good, honest man. If someone finds love, true love, why does anyone care where they are from or what color their skin is? I want my best friend in life to be happy…period. Next week she is going out with an Irishman….I’ll keep you posted!

By Brian Curtis

October 25, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

As long as they’re not Southern Baptist, I don’t care what race they are. You’ve got to have some standards, after all.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

Very Good Topic, Theresa. Here’s my take on it.

My dad is Dominican. My mom although born in the USA was conceived out of wedlock in France by a black French woman and a white French man. My siblings and I were raised black due to the darkness of my father’s skin. I being a “black” woman married my first husband whose grandparents were an interracial couple. My first son looks either light-skinned black or dark-skinned white. My second son was the product of me having a relationship with a hazel-eyed dirty blond white man. Now have you ever heard of anything more skewed in your entire life? At this point I wouldn’t care who my sons picked to date, as long as she is a decent, respectable young lady.

By Randy

October 25, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

Yes as long as they’re Southern Baptist. You’ve have to have some standards, after all.

By Kerry

October 25, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it, although I think my husband might. I have an aunt that had a baby by a black man and my grandparents disowned her. This was 33 years ago and about 3 years ago they finally made contact with her. My aunt has been living in NY since her daughter was about 3, but the daughter moved down here and lived with my family about 6 years ago. She’s still here and loves GA. It sucks that she’s just now getting to know our grandparents. It makes me angry to think that I’m related to people that were so hateful, but my aunt and cousin aren’t holding grudge, so I try not to think about it. Besides that, we’ve all coem to the conclusion that my grandparents are nuts anyway. More on the topic - no I would mind if my daughter dated someone outside of our race. As long as the person treats her well and is an upstanding citizen, it doesn’t matter what they look like.

By SW

October 25, 2006 09:43 AM | Link to this

I want my kids to date and marry within their race. I would very dissapointed if they didn’t for reasons a concerned parent should have with their kids. Any relatioship is hard enough, why add another layer of potential trouble. Also, the kids a mixed race relationship produces may not be as welcome as some of us want to think if the marriage ends in divorce and one person wants to remarry. My kids ahve friends of other races but when it comes to marriage and having kids, I am firm in my belief that a marriage within their own race has a better chance of surviving.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Thats funny Brian….when Mr. Jesse proposed I immediately called my grandfather who was a high ranking deacon in the Baptist church. I was very nervous seeing as how I had just agreed to marry a Jew. My grandfather looked me straight in the eye and said…” At least he’s not Methodist!”. My other grandfather is a Methodist minister…..he was also grateful I wasn’t marrying a Baptist.

By Stinky Sullivan

October 25, 2006 09:47 AM | Link to this

I only date white women. But then again, as a fine black man, it comes naturally.

To each their own, I say, however!

sS

By kevmoor

October 25, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

I would defiantly let my daughters date outside of there race, I have two beautiful teenage girls that are a product of an interracial couple. You would think as a parent rising kids in the twenty first century that the color of a person’s skin is not of an issue anymore. What can a white guy do or provide for my daughters that Black, Hispanic, or Asian guy can’t provide. As parents my wife and I are more concern with the person they date has integrity, morals, respect and intelligence more than their race.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Shouldn’t we put our kids happiness above our own opinions and beliefs. Who can say what color skin the person will have that loves your kid the best. That’s all that matters.

By Theresa

October 25, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

do you guys think there are some racial combinations that are more acceptable than other mixes?? I don’t think people think much about an asian and a caucasian or an hispanic and a caucasian — what do you guys think?

I think people wonder what my husband is (half Italian, half Filipino) but I don’t think they think of us an interracial even though we are.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

SW… you may be right. But my hope is that dealing with the potential drama of a mixed race relationship is the biggest problem my children will ever have to face.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

SW, I respectfully disagree and have to say you are worried about problems but your thinking IS the problem. If receiving a sneer by an ignorant person on Marta on our way to a Falcons game makes our marriage more difficult, that is news to me. Race has never caused any problems in our marriage. As far as our child, we don’t make decisions by planning what might happen if we divorce, that’s no way to live. And our son has not had a problem yet with friends, peers, etc. If anything, he has a larger group he can relate to since he embraces both races.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Theresa…the hard truth is this…..it is considered romantic to marry someone of European descent. There is still a stigma when a white woman marries a black man or a Hispanic man. And lets be clear….there is a socially perceived difference between a Spaniard and someone of South American descent. Why…I couldn’t answer that. But in my experience, it seems the ridicule lies with dating or marrying a black person or a South American Spanish speaking person. So you are right….your marriage is very likely not perceived as inter-racial.

By jsmom

October 25, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

ITA with what Raqi said at 9:52.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this

Theresa from what I was made to believe growing up, caucasian pretty much consisted of what we refer as white now, asian, hispanic, and any other nationality that was not Black or Jewish. I think that’s why those combinations are not frowned upon.

By sobegape

October 25, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

I would very much prefer that my son not date or marry outside the race. I have never been inclined to do so, even though I have been approached often. It’s just not something with which I am comfortable.

By lori

October 25, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

I used to have a big issue with interracial dating. But as I got older I realized that sometimes you cannot help who you have chemistry with. I am african american and I will admit that I have dated a couple of caucasian men. It wasnt serious to the point where we met each others families but my family does not have a problem accepting me if I was to walk in the door with a caucasian man on my arm. To all parents the only thing that I have to say is that either you can accept who your child brings home or you might lose them forever. Think about it. And i just have one more thing to say to the man who contracted to have his daughter-in-law killed and the parents that tried to have the granddaughter killed because the father of the baby was african american that is really ignorant.

By Wednesday

October 25, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

I married the one and only black man I ever went out with. In the seven years we were together, I cannot remember one single incident of “intolerance” towards us. We are now divorced, but we have a child together, who is absolutely beautiful. She has georgeous “carmel” colored skin, and beautiful dark brown hair, with natural blondish highlights (I am of scandanavian descent). She is just stunning, if you ask me, and people have stopped dead in their tracks to look at her, and she has been told by strangers that she is beautiful. She has the most beautiful eyes, smile and perfectly straight teeth (no braces needed) of any child I have ever seen, but then again I am biased ;). The only encounters we have had, is black women coming up to me and asking “Is that your baby?”. I have been asked what nationality her father is, and the majority of people asking thought he was hispanic. I have no idea who she will date, but if they treat her with respect, and are of good moral character, then whatever is ok with me. Her happiness is more important than anything else.

By abc

October 25, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

I don’t think it’s practical to think one can ‘allow’ or ‘disallow’ any aspect of their children’s dating. Shoot, once they’re well into their teens, it’s a challenge to have them listen to you about most anything!

Read this story and be sure to watch the video at the bottom of the page. It’s the most inspirational parenting story I’ve seen in a long time, maybe ever.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

Raqi….black is not a nationality. Jewish is a religion. Noy trying to be a smart a$$…just bugs me a little.

By Staceye

October 25, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this

I have dated every race on this planet and I love it!! I do not judge a man on his race…just height, handsomeness, intelligence, financial stability, morals and humor. I am a Black/Dominican woman who just loves men of all races. So if my future children decide to date other races I would say go for it. Never limit your possibilities because they are not the same race…but in actuality we are the same race, THE HUMAN RACE!!!

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

I think for white families, some races are made to be more acceptable. I know there are a lot of filipino women married to older white men in the town I live in. no one thinks anything of it. but a white woman married to a black or mexican man. All hell breaks lose. Puerto Ricans are considered as are asian but not middle easterners (not really a word is it?) And it is different for men and women. Here they believe white women should only date white men. But white men can for the most part date and marry who ever they want. As long as they christians. Growing up in Alpharetta and Dunwoody with parents who where very open minded and tolerant, this was a total culture shock when I moved down here.

I agree Theresa, people wouldn’t see you as interacial because of the color of skin. Sad isn’t it.

By KP

October 25, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

It’s funny that a lot of people here say that they don’t mind their children dating inter-racially, but then turn right around and say “as long as the person is the same religion.”

Whether you understand it or not, that’s still being a bigot. What does having someone brainwashed in the same “religious philosophy” have to do with your child’s happiness?

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

ABC…..Thank you for blessing me this morning. Forget about who your child wants to be with…….BE THAT PARENT! Be the one that loves as unconditionally as God Himself did with His Son. Thank you again ABC

By RM

October 25, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

I would let my children date outside of their race. I just want them to be happy, respected and loved. No matter what race they date or marry.

Theresa… the fact (or maybe perception of most people) is that there are only two races…Black and White. If you’re not black, you’re white.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

“She has georgeous “carmel” colored skin, and beautiful dark brown hair, with natural blondish highlights “

she sounds beautiful. I realized how out of touch my grandmother was when she said “those little black babies are always the cutest.” i mean come on

By 4theLongHaul

October 25, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

Jesse’s girl Correction: Black is simply another term used equivalent to African American, which IS a nationality.

I have no children but if I did, I wouldn’t care who they chose to take on as a companion, as long as they are loving, respecting, have moral values and are of like faith.

I think the reason why black females, which I happen to be, have issues with seeing black men with white/non-black females (not that I’m condoning or agreeing) is because there is already a shortage of decent/available/non-homosexual/unincarcerated black males for us to find and then to see the ones that are available with a white/non-black female is kind of insulting, or moreso, reduces our choices even the more (giving us a sense of greater hopelessness). Just my vantage point.

Nice to see my other blog friends over here

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

KP because A) we don’t call it brainwashing (now who’s being a bigot?) and B) because our religions tell us our way is the only way to get to heaven (christians, jews, muslims). Obviously we want our children and grandchildren to go to heaven.

By Jay

October 25, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this

So it just got me thinking: Do today’s parents accept interracial dating?

I’m thinking some do and some don’t. Who allows you to post all this bait?

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

KP-You obviously have a problem with religion to start with, but I can understand wanting to marry within your religion because that is so intertwined with how we live our daily lives and raise our children. Differences there can lead to quite a bit of conflict.

By Michelle

October 25, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

In the gay community, interracial dating is so commonplace, no one gives it a second thought. Maybe we’re more accepting in general, considering how we already get discriminated against just for being gay. I think it’s a double standard how whites who are opposed to interracial dating are considered “racist” while blacks who oppose it can claim they’re just “protecting their identity”

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

I have always wondered why people have a problem with race or more PC ethnicity. We all have same DNA and Chromosomes, people behave as if race=different species. Human is Human. I would not have a problem with marrying or dating out side my ethnicity due to the face that all of us are the product of interracial dating and marrying. 100% of your african americans are of mixed race weather we want to admit it or not. My father’s father is Cherokee and african american and his mother was black foot and african american. My mother’s mother was jamacian and african american and my mother’s father was Irish-german caucasian and african american. this is more common then not in african american communities we are just taught to identify and classify ourselves with what our exterior shows. When filling out applications i always put OTHER cause i am of mixed race. I had one company change my ethnicity/race to African American cause she said i “looked” black. I give honor to all my heritage from the native american, european and african diasporas So for anyone of African decent to have a problem with interracial dating or marriages is beyond me. Maternal Grandparents had 7 children when i tell you that they were from the blue black to albino. Because the world during that time period had a problem with race/ethnicity it caused division amongst my mother and her sibblings. I said all that to say that we all come from the same gene pool. It is society that projects it problem with interracial dating. Love doesn’t have a color but Hate and intolerance dos.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

To those who ‘think’ they wouldn’t have a problem, I say ‘think’ again. While I have no problem with people dating ‘interracially’, I doubt those people take into account the potential impact not only on themselves, but their families, friends etc. To those who say - if they’re truly your friends it shouldn’t matter - it does. Regardless of how we feel things should be or would like them to be in the “21st” century, reality is much different. In the end it’s not only the “daters” lives that are involved - it’s parents, relatives, friends and society in general. Not to mention the potential for children either now or in the future and the potential fallout for them.

Should things work that way - probably not. But let’s not kid ourselves either.

By Qsgirl

October 25, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Great topic Theresa. Hey WiseD! SS I see you’re over here, causing trouble, LOL! My AA mother is married to a WM, and he always says he’s a black man trapped inside a white man’s body. Would eat you under the table about some collard greens!I personally, have date men of different races, and wasn’t concerned by it at all. I did notice the looks we got, and beacuse I am an attrractive AAFM, made some people even more upset that I wasn’t with an AAM. It was funny to me, because I’ve always thought people should be with whom they chose. I have a 12yo daughter, that attends schools in Fayette county. She has 3 little white boys that “like” her. At her age I don’t care if they are purple, that “liking” bizness is out. But, when she’s old enough, say in 6 yrs, she can date who she wants. I think we put each other down, amongst our own races, more than anyone else ever could.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

4theLongHaul…….you and I will just have to disagree. Black is a color, not a nationality. For that matter, I don’t think African American is a true nationality. It has become a PC term. PC bothers me. If you are in fact directly from Africa, but now reside in this country….then are indeed African American. But if you and your family have been here for generations…..then you are straight up American. There are enough issues to divide and seperate us as a people….this one is simply unneccessary. If my husband and I went by such labels…we would need extra hours in the day to identify ourselves.

By Willy Wonka

October 25, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

Perhaps one day we can get to a point where we don’t see groups, but instead see people. It’s curious that the vast majority of comments don’t have issues with mixing of races, but still separate people by our factors (sexuality and religion are mentioned) and believe those separations are perfectly justified. In years past, most people also believed their racial prejudices were perfectly justified.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

EB, either you live in a dream world or a very small town. That is just not the way it works anymore. I live that life and so do my parents & kid, not one issue…ever!

By Keep it Real

October 25, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

FYI…Hispanic is NOT a race, it’s a nationality. We’re talking caucasian (European, white), negroid (black Africans), mongoloid (Chinese, Eskimo, Native Americans, and australoid (Australian Aborigines).

As for agreeing or disagreeing with inter-racial dating/marriage, I say no. There is a reason there are different races, and they should remain that way. HOWEVER…if my child falls in love, that person treats them well, is a productive member of society, etc., then it’s not up to me to say yay or nay. By then, they are old enough to decide for themselves. My kids know my stance on racial mixing, and have respect for it, just like they know I respect their opinions.

By msteven

October 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

I see NO Problem with it what so ever. I am a dark skinned black male. I have a very special love for several white singers beginining with Elvis, the beatles, Tony Bennett, Stresiand(Barbra the one and only)as well as actresses..Marilyn Monroe, judy garland(singer) and many others. I LOVED them. Does that make me a sellout?. I love several of black artists and make no comparisons. People are just People. Would I date a white person. Yup. Now with that said. I aint to sure about a Muslim or religons that have alot of restrictions. Infact any religion with too many restrictions I pass on. I dont care if the person is black white or green. some folks take this religion stuff..wayyyyyyyyy too serious for my licking. As for race, I dont care. Just give me the same unconditional love I give you in return. Everything else, color wise is irrevelent as we are All Humans with different beliefs and cultures that separate us.In this New World, the color of one’s skin should not Make any difference, for get about the OLD world. Its dead and over and in the Past.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

To clarify what I mean when I say ‘think’ again - It is very easy to say ‘I wouldn’t have an issue’ when the situation is hypothetical (yes even involving children you have / may have and who they may / may not date in the future is hypothetical).

Seeing it evolve 1st hand is entirely different.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

EB, you make excellent points. We all say it is okay but it is a fact that we will not go against the grain most time with our families. Also, children of mixed marriages still suffer intolerance from other chlldren and their parents. I don’t think anyone can deny this.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

Great point Michelle….

I think it’s a double standard how whites who are opposed to interracial dating are considered “racist” while blacks who oppose it can claim they’re just “protecting their identity”

If white people behaved towards my husband and I the way some black females have it would be on the cover of the AJC! Just shameful.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

Fine then Jesse. Any one other than African and Hebrew descendants.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

Eb if we all were to worry about what others thing and the outcome or backlash that our family and friends will receieve this world would be one big clone. I am sure that you have done somethings in your life that would embrass your parents and friends if they knew but you didn’t care cause you did what made you happy. LETS NO KIDS OURSELVES with that. my mother’s who is of light complexion marrying my father who is of dark complexion cause they were afraid of what people might thing. 38 years later the same people that had a problem with that look back and see that there concerns were not valid. My father treats my mother like a queen and they have the longest marriage in my family’s history and still are head over heels in love with each other. The same family and friends who so opposed there marriage are having problem maintaining theirs. You can’t live your life doing what makes other’s happy, that is when you are living for someone else and not yourself. What good is marrying someone in your race when they treat you like dirt just to make your family and friends happy???

By SW

October 25, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

I see a couple of interesting post made toward my input. Stinky can add that as a black man he only dates white women, admitting he won’t even date his own race. One poster upper cased all races except for white, interesting. I know what people say about mixed couples; I hear it all the time and I do not wish for my children to go through it. Men that marry Asian women are percieved as wanting a ‘traditional’ wife, black men that marry white women do it for status and white women that marry black men can’t get a decent white guy. Do I agree with these perceptions? No. Do I agree they exist, yes.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

I think some racial combinations you do see more than others and they are accepted more than others. When white people marry someone of european decent it’s okay and even asian and hisplanics are okay because for the most part they are still white. However when it comes to people from other races that are darker skinned or black I think it’s less accepted because there is a negative connotation that comes with that and that has to do with access to loans, capital and climbing the corporate ladder and the challenges that come with that having darker skin. I applaud white women who do marry black me knowing what socially black men no matter how well educated or hardworking are up against as far as society goes. I see whites/asian, whites/white hispanics, whites/indians(from the country india). I don’t see very many blacks/Indians(from the country india). I was told that was a non/no. They’ll date black men but when it comes to getting married I was told that was a non/no. As fro me I don’t care what race she is as long as she is cute, likes the arts and if she doesn’t like football doesn’t mind watching a game ane eating wings with me from time to time and romantic and yes foes to church. On another comment that was made it is rediculous to call people that go to church and have a certain belief system to “being brainwashed into a certain religious philosophy” For example me being Christian isn’t a philosophy but a faith and BELIEF and far from philosophy. In Christianity there is truth while in philosophy you talk and talk, talk, talk and talk some more with no answers being found while I have found truth and moved on to new business.

By abc

October 25, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

‘African American’, as an alternative to ‘Black’ or ‘Negro’, is obviously descriptive of race, not nationality or national origin. I don’t think it’s a matter of splitting hairs, but rather concrete definition of terms, nothing wrong with that.

Now, suppose your white 16 year old daughter shows up with her black 16 year old date. If you don’t like it, what do you think you can do about it? If you forbid it, that’ll only make them more determined to see each other. Don’t any of you have teenage kids?

I’d say it’s not so much a matter of parents being more or less accepting of it, but rather a matter of whether the kids themselves are more or less open to it. I think that kids today ARE more open to inter-racial dating. Us fogies had better get used to it. The best we can do is point out the obvious pitfalls, so that they can better prepare themselves to deal with them.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

Saying there is not one problem ever is like saying you’re not predjudiced - its a lie

By gavi1126

October 25, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

* Good morning*

I see a lot of familiar Bloggers from my favorite blog..

Hai WD, Raqi, and all..

I’m luving this topic as i can defeneitly relate. I’m from south-east Asia and have been dating black guys for a minute now. Its still an awakward situation at times but Atlanta has come up a lot when it comes to inter-racial dating. Women are more likely to be the ones “hating” then men. Men are rather more open to dating other races then us women.

Another positive of interracial dating is the kids.. they just come out beautiful. Speaking from what i’ve seen!!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

a Person who was born in an african country would not refer to themselves as African American, they would refer to themselves as Senegalese-American or Congolese-American African-American is a term just like European or Asian American for people who have NO CLUE to their family’s direct origins. If you are Irish-American or Italian-American you obviously know the direct country of Origin that your family is from. So when people use the term of African American it means that they have no clue of their family’s direct origin other then they are of the African diaspora

By Michelle

October 25, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

There is a reason there are different races, and they should remain that way.

What reason is that, Keep it Rollin? As far as I’m concerned, we’re all mutts. No one is “pure” anymore.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

SW, I’m sorry to say if that is what you are hearing from those around you, you are hanging out with some truly ignorant people and shouldn’t expose your children to ignorance no matter what the topic.

By Cletus Snow

October 25, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

We have friends who are a interacial couple they tell us that both sides of their families have pretty much abandoned them, which is why they came to the ATL area.They see Atl as much more accepting. They are choosing not to have children because of a lack of family acceptance.

By ut96

October 25, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

There are too many other problems in the world for me to worry or care about the race of someone I or someone else is going to date.

By mombie

October 25, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

Your all a bunch of troopers! Its whats on the inside that counts! Oh, the View is on!, those girls are troopers!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

There is documentary called “Journey of Man” it tracks and traces back the origin of man. That documentary is powerful in that it shows that we ALL no matter the country that you have a citizenship in are from the same Origin. However there is a documentary called “GUNS, GERMS and STEEL” which explains how interracial mixing by choice and by force has lead to the different ethnicities of our Modern time. Those two documentaries both done by men of the European Diaspora are very powerful.

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

stayinvolved - actually neither. I’m here in Atlanta and see it exactly as I’ve described it every day.

So you’re telling me - no one has ever looked at your and your husband and done a double take? no sideways glances? I wouldn’t expect someone to confront you directly in the PC world we live in, but just because they dont’ doesn’t mean they accept your situation. Perhaps you’re the one living in a ‘dream world’.

By Momma Mia

October 25, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

I’m a white female with a black female best friend/neighbor. (I know…it’s cliche’) We have discussed the race thing, and inter-racial relationships. We agree that races should marry within themselves, but we don’t get hysterical if we seen mixed couples. It’s not our business…we’re just expressing our honest opinions. It’s not just a “white thing” to not want racial mixing. The blacks and other races are just as against the mixing as the caucasians…if not more so.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

I don’t like the term african american myself. I am a black man and was born in tennessee which means I am all american and would like to be called just that. One way I do differentiate myself from others is by saying this…..GO VOLS!!!

By Jessalyn Anglin

October 25, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

*”Shouldn’t we put our kids happiness above our own opinions and beliefs. Who can say what color skin the person will have that loves your kid the best. That’s all that matters.” *

Very well said, Raqi.

I’ve been in an interracial relationship (in Atlanta) for almost 11 years and have NOT experienced what SW fears. Our family’s have NOT experienced any “fallout” as EB suggests, either. Our three beautiful biracial children are not experiencing any fallout, either.

Of course, we’ll be open to them dating whoever they choose regardless of race or gender. As long as the person is treating my child right, why should it matter? The man I’m married to is the most wonderful man in the world. How stupid would I have been to miss out on that by limiting who I chose to marry by race? How deplorable would it be of me to prevent my children from finding a love as great as this by limiting who they can date by race, gender, or religion?

By Brian Curtis

October 25, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

KP: That’s why I laid the religion trap, and Randy fell right into it!

I guess bigotry’s okay as long as it’s not based on race, hmm?

By MA

October 25, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Date outside their race? Absolutely forbidden! They must date humans and only human. And they must be full humans not half-human. Other than that, I am okay. (So long as they are not cigarette smokers.)

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Some People Change-Maybe the reason I can say Never, Ever is because my parents have made decisions their entire lives about who they associate with, have friendships with, go to church with, etc. based on their value systems. And therefore, my husband and I have have picked friends, neighbors, school, church etc. that do not conflict with our choices.
It amazes me that you refuse to believe that folks can live without it being an issue.

By Heavens!

October 25, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

“When white people marry someone of European descent, it’s ok”…that’s a redundant statement. Caucasian IS defined as “European whites”.

By ChrisD

October 25, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

The problem with interracial dating is the culture clash. My white brother dated a Korean girl for a while, and her parents treated him like garbage. People think whites are racist, but other races are much much worse. I wouldn’t let my daughter date anyone who listens to rap (white or black) because that type of music creates or encourages disrespect toward women. It’s not a black thing, but I think the culture clashes too much. Interestingly, I once took a pretty black girl to Six Flags in NJ. We got some pretty nasty looks. Once guy said something to me and I replied “Don’t worry we’re not dating.” He looked relieved. “She’s my sister.”

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

EB-If you have read my posts you would know that we have received our share of looks. But what do I care what someone on Marta thinks about me?
People are judgemental (race, looks, clothing, status, car, etc.) if you start living your life worried about what complete strangers think of you, there is not enough therapy in the world!

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

You misunderstand what I am saying. I wish people were color blind, but they are not. And these people here telling you its okay, well a lot of them say that but they don’t mean it, at least not all of what they said. And everyone on this earth, no matter what they say, are prejudiced against someone.

By some people change

October 25, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

Stay involved, look at your statement: you said you and your parents carefully choice who to deal with, where to live and such. That means you all didn’t want to deal with what you know is outside this little realm of yours.

By danish

October 25, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

I am Jewish, my husband is not. My parents raised us in a pretty observant home. Several years back when my sister started to get serious with a guy from Italy, my mom was excited, and asked my dad if he was excited too, and he said, how will you feel the morning you have to go to your grandson’s baptism? That was a dose of reality for all of us, and it stayed with me.

Now,I was concerned how he would react when we found out we were expecting, but he was so thrilled to be a grandpa, the issue never came up again. Especially since we had a bris for the baby and not a circumcision in the hospital.

(It never worked out for my sister and the Italian guy….now she is dating an Asian fellow. My parents are on the fence about him. Not because he is Asian, but because he is so much older than her)

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

isidingo - There’s a distinction b/w doing certain things. getting a DUI can be / should be embarrassing but it’s not something that directly impacts others (assuming of course you didn’t kill / maim anyone). It’s your personal issue and something you should learn from.

Dating interracially doesn’t only affect you - whether you think so or not. Personally, I think if you’ve found someone who makes you happy, they’re respectable citizens etc then good for you, and I’m happy for you. Reality is that society, your parents, friends, relatives may not see it the same way… I have a hard time simply throwing away my parents et al. views in light of the countless sacrifices they made getting me to this stage is life.

By God's Children

October 25, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

My wife and I have three young adults.Our oldest son has a girl friend who seems to really care for each deepley. We have and will never try to dictate our feelings on whom they date of any race as long as they are happy!!!!! Isn’t that the bottom line happiness. Besides scripture in book of Act..says (from one man (Adam)came all mankind) Shouldn’t we focus on trying to love and help one another rather than the color of one’s spouse or partner!!!

By religion is debatable

October 25, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

I think the difference in discriminating in race and in religion is race is totally physical (skin color, lip/nose size, etc.), whereas religion connotes a certain personality and frame of mind. I wouldn’t have a problem dating a Middle Eastern girl, but if she was a Muslim it probably wouldn’t be cool (I’m a lapsed Catholic and mainly atheist). I could (have, actually) date a Mexican girl, but if she is a very strong Catholic (she was) it probably wouldn’t work (it didn’t). Religion and the mindset it either reflects or inspires is a deep, deep issue and one you can’t blow off. Black/white works much easier than Christian/Muslim I guarantee you.

By Joyce

October 25, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

I wouldn’t have a problem with my son dating another race. If it were to become more serious, fine; I would just hope he went in with both eyes wide open. Our (adopted) son is Hispanic (Native descent), my husband is Hispanic (white) and I am White (non-Hispanic). We’ve not encountered much hostility, but we do get curious stares sometimes. No big deal. He and his girlfriend/wife might encounter hostility, but then again they might not.

BTW, Hispanic is not a nationality. Hispanics are from all over North, Central and South America, as well as from Spain.

By Jaszmin

October 25, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

I’m in my late 20’s I dated a white guy in H.S. & still will if he’s everything I want in a man. Peresonally I’m for whatever!! but more attracted to the Black, smooth rich skin of a A/A brother however you will find stumbles & trials along he way of interracial dating. My brother is dating a Cambodian girl & they’re getting much heat from her family about it. I will say this some black women have a issue with white women dating our black men for many reason’s Some I understand but don’t condone but at the same time U have brothers that ONLY date white women because their weak in their own manhood. A strong brother will date whomever but usually stick within his race. the other brother chose the white gal because she will allow him to do whatever, say whatever when he pleases & we STRONG black women aint going for that & brothers most can’t take it so they opt out for that white chic who will allow him to do whatever he please & that’s the story my friends.
“BEHIND EVERY STRONG BLACK MAN, STANDS A STRONG BLACK WOMAN”

By EB

October 25, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

stayinvolved - You say you have your share of ‘looks’ but also that you have never had an ‘issue’. Seems contradictory.

My point - There are / will be issues with interracial dating. Should there be - maybe/maybe not. Should the opinion of strangers matter? Depends on how they communicate it I suppose (normally not). Should you consider all elements of the situation before-hand & with a realistic view? I think you should. Should you consider the impact to your family&relatives? I think that’s only fair given their potential sacrifices for you.

By cool breeze

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

gavi1126-I agree with you about most of the hating coming from women. I have dated white women in the past and i have gotten the looks and even when i have been out with a girl that was just a friend. I just go down the line and ask girls black, white, yellow or whatever and the first one who says yes i go out with. I PREFER girl who prefer me whatever race they are. I am going to open a BIG can of worms with this one but for awhile black women didn’t seem interested in me and white and hispanix women were so that’s who I went out with. The girls I have dated recently have been bi-racial (black/white, black/cuban or black/white/puerto rican) and all have been attractive and cool. Me and my black guy friends have college degrees, no kids, never been married, employed, laid-back, like sports and no drama and we still have problems getting black women interested in us as marrigable material which is interesting. If the “others” are interested I am not gonna not date just waiting on black women to recognize the kind of guy I(we) are. get in where you fit in is what I say. My parents never had a race talk with me and my momz said it’s more important how she treats me that what race she is. GO MOM!!

By BTW

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

BTW…Hispanic is NOT a race, by definition.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

I identify with being mixed race even though my exterior is African American. No other ethnicity has had to deal with a name change every decade like people of the african diaspora that were born in United States. COOL BREEZE I can relate to you with being called BLACK cause alot of people don’t understand that African Americans still have to have there voting rights renewed. No other ethnicity has to deal with that every 25 years. So alot of people would not want there children subjected to that kind thing. I am a cornacopia of ethnicities so there for I am mixed race. In college I have dated different Ethnicities. I went to college in Nashville, TN even thou it is in the bible belt it is one of the biggest examples of a city that is full of mixed marriages. When you go to the highschools 70% of the children are of Mixed marriages. My first girlfriend was from India and she went to Vanderbilt. She stop dating me cause when i met her mother and father, no matter how well i treated her, her parents said that they would disown her if our relationship went any further. I was heart broken, but I understood and we are close friends to this day. I dated a white girl at David Lipsomb after her, a Filopino girl from Middle Tennessee State, and a few African American females from my own university of Tennessee State. I got the nick name of UN (United Nations) because i didn’t have a problem with ethnicity, however females at my unversity gave me a hard time calling me a sell out. It was not until i invited my friends to a family reunion did they see that my family has all ethnicities due to the fact that I come from a long line of Military men. German, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Korean, Italian, Japanese, Somolian, South African, British, Mexican, Jamaican, Trinidadian, etc. My family reunion looks like a Gathering of the UN. 90% of the children in my family speaks 3 languages fluently. I would not trade my family for a Homogenous one, we are well adjusted and tolerant of our extremely diverse family. Yes we are looked on as being Strange, but Love has no color, race or ethnicity associated with it, but ignorance, intolerance and Hate DOES.

By ut96

October 25, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

coolbreeze, LOL, I thought was the only Vol around these boards.

Go Vols

By kevmoor

October 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

I still to this day do not understand when people say “when a Black man dates or marries a White women”, he’s doing it for status….. What status? There’s no certain status with being with a white person, ummm maybe the two are together because they met and decided they like each other and chose to be a couple… simple as that.

By SBW

October 25, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

The divisions of the human species. These include the Mongoloid, Caucasoid, Negroid (including Cogoid and Capoid), and Australoid races. Due to racial mixing, the genetic and physiological differences are not always clear in individuals.

A population of individuals who identify themselves from a common history, nationality, or geographical place. When responses in the “race” line item on vital records are associated with the definition of Hispanic origin (NOT race), they are re-coded to “white race,” as described in the National Center for Health Statistics instruction manuals for coding vital records. Individuals identifying themselves as either “white,” “black,” or “other” race can be of any ethnic group.

By Elizabeth

October 25, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

WANTED: A good-hearted person to love my daughter unconditionally, respect her and treat her right. Race, religion and/or sexual orientation not an issue.

By Try Again

October 25, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

The TRUE definition of HISPANIC: “A US citizen of true born Hispanic heritage, from any of the Spanish-speaking areas of Latin America or the following regions: Mexico, Central America, South America and the Caribbean Basin only.”

By Reality Check

October 25, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

The There are distinct races and they should stay that way comment is hilarious! Thanks for giving me a chuckle today. Bless your heart, that’s probably all you could muster.

Anyhoo, at least 70% of black Americans have white ancestry. 70%. Yes, millions of white Americans have black cousins and don’t even know it. Additionally, some of the folks that look pure white have black blood. In the old days, it was called the “just one drop” test.

Any Christian knows that the world started with Adam and Eve. That’s it, folks. Just 2 people. So, at the end of the day, we are all relatives.

So, seeing as how we are all racially mixed creatures, I guess we should simply judge a person on his or her personality or character. Stop living at the shallow end of the pool! Get a true education! Visit your local library and search out the facts! Stop trying to live in Fantasy Island! Bless your hearts! I know some of you are still striving for “racial purity”, but my dear children, it does not exist!

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

When I was dating my son’s white father we got more static from black men than anyone else. I asked this one black guy who I worked with about his negative attitude towards it and he said that, I quote “They have already taken everything else from us, now they want to take our women”. I found that to be an interesting statement. It didn’t deter my relationship with said man, but I found it interesting. There was another part to his comment but I opt to leave it out because it will stir up some crap in here.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this

EB your parents did what made them happy in their marriage. My parents didn’t have a problem with any of the females that I dated in college no matter their ethncities. The only thing they tell me was we don’t want to meet all these females that you are dating, only bring home the ones that you are SERIOUS about. Which I totally understood. My parents said early on that they would stand behind whomever we decided to marry or date. It could be cause they are both from mix marriages themselves. My mother had problems in the 60s and 70s because of her light complexion but that made her stronger and she more then anyone is all for us finding who makes us happy regardless of race or gender or religion. Now my father did say to marry anyone except someone who is SOUTHERN BAPTIST lol, He said that is a Lynching waiting to happen. Beauty is Beauty regardless of ethnicity and Love is Love. I understand that a child doesn’t want to disappoint there family but who can give a flying flip about friends caring who you marry. If they are real friends then they will stand by you regardless. Faux friends try to mold you into their own images and likes. A Real parents is more concern with there child’s happiness then tryin to clone their marriage.

Throughout our nations history it took someone going against what their parents and friends thought to make changes. Lawyers who fought against segregation went against what their friends and family wanted. If people people didn’t go against their family and friends then Minorities and WOMEN would have ever got the right to vote. It only takes ONE person to go against the grain to make change.

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this

think it’s a double standard how whites who are opposed to interracial dating are considered “racist” while blacks who oppose it can claim they’re just “protecting their identity”

I completely agree.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

Joyce….your average person does not make that distinction. The lay observer looks at Mexicans and other South Americans as Hispanic. Spaniards are not looked at with the same sensibility. You are right in your post…absolutely. But for the most part….where dating and marriage is concerned….the entire issue is perceived differently in regards to Spain and other spanish speaking countries. My husband is of Spanish descent, we have encountered this.

By lbr

October 25, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

Whites didn’t take anything from blacks. They were sold as slaves by their OWN people. We gave them their freedom, and look what they did with it. Enough said.

By abc

October 25, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi, that dude’s statement was simply racist, no matter that he felt justified in his resentment of white men. Any racist will come up with a rationale for their racism.

By One Love

October 25, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

I served in the U.S.ARMY proudly for 4 yrs.I’ve traveled around the world and i have seen different races date and marry with no apparent problems. This issue in America has been a very sad and disturbing one. People are taught these hateful,ways of life no one is born to be a separtist.I bet if we exert some of the negative energy in being seperate into just being a little kind towards one another this would become a little better country.It’s easier to smile than frown try it sometimes!!!

By Laura

October 25, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

My husband and I (both white) adopted our first son from Ethiopia this year. As his mother I will have LOTS of opinions about whether they are worthy (and I am sure none will be good enough)! However, the color of their skin is will not be among the reasons they don’t measure up.

As for the term “inter-racial,” it drives me nuts! We are all from the same race, the human race. We are all homo sapians.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

LBR….we are all trying to have an open, intelligent discussion. PLEASE….troll season is next month.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 12:17 PM | Link to this

The funniest things that shows you the result of trying to keep a blood line Pure can be seen if you have ever been to the TENNESSEE STATE FAIR in Nashville. You have people that come from all 9 states that surround Tennessee (WV, VA, GA, NC, SC, AR, MS, AL and KY) The Caucasians that come from the country and mountains and are inbreed look like Mutants. They are so ANTI any ethnicity other then American WHITE. It is pure comedy and a livin walking example of what happens when you do not introduce different DNA and GENES into your family pool. If you don’t beleive me GO AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. My professor of Plant Pathology who is Caucasian pointed it out to me. So if we take it from a genetic point of view it is important to introduce new ethnicities into your family gene pool.

By Raqi

October 25, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

abc you are correct because the other parts of his statement make references to slave masters and black slave women.

By Laura

October 25, 2006 12:20 PM | Link to this

Just to springboard on what One Love just said — that’s another good point. America is supposed to be the land of freedom yet we are the most socially resistent to change and progression. The level of ignorance astounds me daily.

What’s amazing is that my son is at daycare and plays with children from ALL different ethnic backgrounds. He has been seen to hold hands with a little white girl and seems to gravitate most to a hispanic teacher. He sees mommy and daddy; not the white woman and man who change my diaper.

This idea of separatism is learned, not inherent. The cycle CAN stop if we stop teaching our children these antiquated and horrifically wrong social ideas that promote a bigoted mindset.

Okay, that’s all I have to say (for now…)

By Earl

October 25, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

If my daughter comes hoome with a negroid, she’s gonna get a whuppin’.

By lbr is an idiot

October 25, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this

lbr, that is the stupidest, most racist comment on a blog that has been relatively intelligent and free of trolls. Thanks for revealing the level of ignorance and hate that still exists among some. “We gave them their freedom.” Give me a break. Moron.

By Earl

October 25, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

Elizabeth,

Tell your daughter to lose a few pounds and then maybe you won’t have to beg for dates on her behalf.

By stayinvolved

October 25, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

EB- A look from a stranger is hardly an issue, happens everyday to everyone for various resons. I would think an issue might be comments from people you actually know, care about, respect, value. My child has never come home and complained that someone said something about his black dad however, he has come home and complained about another child beating him at the 30yd dash.

By EB

October 25, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

isidingo- I have no problem with people ‘going against the grain’. I just think it’s important for people to understand that we are not here just for ourselves. Others (parents etc) may not unconditionally accept our actions simply b/c they ‘make us happy’ or ‘it seemed like the thing to do at the time’.

Maybe they will and if so… great! One less hurdle to overcome. But they may not and we shouldn’t dismiss them simply b/c they’re ‘not onboard’.

By aa

October 25, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

This is a interesting board. Do I have a problem with interracial dating. Yes, because white people think black people are (expletive deleted) anyway.. There are beautiful african american women in this world that need a strong black man to support them. I think that people that adopt african kids that are white are fake, adopt a black child in your own country.stop making it seem like you are doing the right thing your not. Racism is around even on the train in the morning to work. Black people need to stick together and love each other… We need our own culture… We need to love Africans our roots, I cant stand to see a African marry a white women…thats disgusting.. So please keep it real!!!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

Ibr… I always find it funny when people use that as an argument to condone slavery. Africans were not the only ones that had slaves, Slavery exist in all cultures but only in the United States do we say one thing and do another. We dogged South African during their dark period but we were doing the same thing The United States didn’t give african slaves there freedom. They saw that if they didn’t do something this country was going to burn to the ground literally cause of the civil war. Southern racist love to say that WE GAVE THEM THEIR FREEDOM. As I recall you were forced to do so because the YANKEES SPANKED YALL BACKSIDES. Slavery is by no means a new concept on this planet. Before any European explorer knew that the African Continent existed they were enslavin each other in Europe. So don’t even pull that they sold their people into slavery Card. If it were not for Europeans coming and exploiting the west african monarchs in the first place the Slave trade never would have had a market. Europeans Built Slave forts and built the ships. So don’t pull the hollier then thou card. One thing that most modern day slavery has in common is that EUROPEANS were directly involved. From the Holocaust to Apartheid to the African slave trade to Native American masacures what do they all have in common DIRECT EUROPEAN INVOLVEMNT. Slavery is a evil moment on Humanity regardless of ethnicity or country of Origin.

By Wednesday

October 25, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

When I started dating my now ex-husband (who is black), I told my parents about it. My dad was more laid back than my mother, who flipped out. Not because he was black, but because she knew it would not be readily acceptable, and it was a “hard way of life” choice I was making. However, once they met him, and got to know him, and saw that I was happy, they were ok with it, (even though it took about a year). We had a beautiful wedding in the catholic church, paid for by my parents.
They love their mixed grandchild, just as much as their white grandchildren (my sibling’s kids).
As far as I know, my child has never experienced racism towards her and she is now in high school. She has friends from every walk of life, black, brown, blond, asian, hispanic etc.
I dont understand why there are still people who TEACH their children intolerance and racism. I could not imagine going through life without being exposed to other cultures and ways of life.

By SW

October 25, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

Although I make it clear what I prefer, which is that my children date within their race, if they chose not to, I would accept their decision. With this said, if my daughter came home and told me she was marrying a Muslim, converting to the Islam faith and will begin to cover herself in the Islam tradition…this is when dad and I intervene, tie her up, put her in the car and wisk her way to her uncle in Montana!

By Sarah

October 25, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this

ISDINGO, if you want to take one group of people such as the whites you mentioned at the Tennessee fair as being the type of white you’d never date or want your kids to date, the same can said of the thugs at the Hip Hop Awards. If my daughter came home with a thug with a grill and all that ghetto crap, she’s on her own and if she has kids, keep them away from me. The fence swings both way dearie. Now, call me racist…yawn.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 12:40 PM | Link to this

EB.. you are showing that you are a person who decision is governed by what your family and friend’s think and we are not just for ourselves. If your parents were METH heads and your friends were METH heads would you feel obligated cause your family and friends are METH heads to be one as well? look at it from that POV. We all have to be our own men or women. Your mother and father i am s ure did a few things that there parents didnt’ approve of and went against there beleifs. and if you don’t think so then you are living in a fantasy world. How can you say you are all for people going against the grain but you said that we are no here for ourselves that is a major contradictory statment. You can’t be for one and beleive in the other. My parents and friends didnt’ want me to major in agriculture, but i did anyway. It has taken me to 48 states and over 90 countries. If I did what my parents wanted me to do i would be pulling out the baby teeth of some 3 year old child or i would be defending caucasian highschool students from attacking their classmates with weapons in some courtroom.

My father told me early on the old cliche “you can please some of the people some of the time, you can please most of the people most of the time but you can’t please all the people all the time”

By Laura

October 25, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this

“I think that people that adopt african kids that are white are fake, adopt a black child in your own country.stop making it seem like you are doing the right thing your not.”

AA — I sure as hell hope that was not a reference about me and my child. You have no idea who I am, who my husband is or a thing about our Ethiopian son. My love for my child is not conditioned on his color; it is conditioned on the connection we have.

I find it really disheartening to see your thoughts as a black individual. I think that women need strong men and men need strong women. I am not discounting the experience of black people in America but bigotry will never go away if both sides don’t see the beauty in true diversity.

My family is diverse and it is beautiful. Believe it.

By Joyce

October 25, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this

Hi Jessie’s Girl—No, most people don’t make the distinction, even within the ethnic group. Many Hispanics don’t believe my husband is also until they hear him speak. Also, many people who see me out alone with my son first think that he is my bioloigcal son and his father is Hispanic. Most Hispanics, however, along with others who are familiar with the ethnicities, realize by looking at my son that he’s most likely 100% indigenous; some even get his national origin right on the first try!

By DebbieDoRight

October 25, 2006 12:43 PM | Link to this

If someone finds love, true love, why does anyone care where they are from or what color their skin is?

That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read

By Angela

October 25, 2006 12:44 PM | Link to this

What an awful comment by lbr. I’m a white woman embarassed that another human could have such a horrible view. Slavery was a horrible thing, and for you to make light of it or make a mockery makes me want to throw up. People like you are what make this world a messed up place. Go put some tape over that mouth!

By DebbieDoRight

October 25, 2006 12:47 PM | Link to this

My husband looks white, (blondish curly hair and hazel eyes). He is a product of an interracial marriage and when we first met I thought he was white, (cool white guy, but white guy nonetheless). It wasn’t until I met his family that I knew that he was bi-racial.

I was very angry because I thought I was being so forward thinking and so cool and so 90’s to be hanging with a white guy when all the time I was so full of it! Sigh..

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

Sarah. please go back and read my statement. that statment was made it was not to say that i would not let my child marry a mount hillbilly that is inbreed. It was to show WHY YOU SHOULD INCORPORATE NEW GENETIC DIVERSITY INTO A FAMILY GENE POOL. don’t take that statement out of context. DEARIE. I am african american and HELL i would not let my daughter date a guy with a gold grill and his pants hanging around his a*. But i am also sure that if your daughter came one with a NEO Natzi SKIN HEAD that you would just him in the same manner not because he is white but because he is not acceptable material for your daughter DEARIE. SO please go back and reread my statement and look at it for what it was ment to mean DEARIE. I am African American and a damn Handsome one at that. I don’t have a “grill” i have perfect white teeth, and I listen to all types of music. I am proud to say that my pants do no hang around my but cheeks and i wear a belt daily DEARIE. Call your Racist ok RACIST YAWN…. Dearie.. I take that back i would rather call you a Selective reader. That term is much more fitting

By people won't change

October 25, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

I’ve seen some very intelligent responses to this blog and i want to sincerely thank all of you who care so deepley about this topic and believe we all should date,befriend,marry whomever we’re happy with regardless of the smallmindedness of a few soon to be extinct sad persons. We spend a lot of time fighting amongest ourselves about race in the U.S. That will probably be our destruction.God Bless Us All……

By Theresa

October 25, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

You guys have been having such a nice discussion but in the last few minutes we’ve had a couple of racial slurs — I’m going to delete those but guys just don’t do it —— have your arguments but no racial slurs on the site or they’ll shut us down from downtown — I don’t control that — the big guys do -

By Wednesday

October 25, 2006 12:55 PM | Link to this

Sarah - would you really turn you back on your child for bringing home a “thug”. You would not want your grandchildren around you? That’s sad. The word isn’t racist, more like “intolerant”. What if the “thug” made hundreds of thousands of dollars, and treated your child like a queen, and gave her everything her heart desired…..But because of what he looked like you don’t want her or her kids?

By SW

October 25, 2006 12:56 PM | Link to this

I have to agree that some celebrities appear to be making it vogue to adopt brown skin children. When we see Paris Hilton do it, then we’ll know its for fashion and not for the welfare of the child.

By sue

October 25, 2006 01:07 PM | Link to this

A lot of the comments against interracial dating have referred to how the children will be not be accepted by other children. I don’t think most kids today concern themselves with that.

My son had 5 other boys at his 11th birthday party: Two had white mothers and black fathers, one had a Hispanic mother and a black father, one had a white mother and a Hispanic father, and the only other “white” child has a mother of Mediterranean decent and is very olive skinned. Not one of those boys had a problem with the ethnicity of any of the others. The only one that stood out in the pictures was the very blond birthday boy.

And although he is too young to date, I truly don’t think that I would have a problem with my son dating outside our race (I, personally, went on a couple of dates with black men, although I never seriously dated outside my race). Of the girls that he has had crushes on, two have been Hispanic, one has been Asian, and one looks to be Middle Eastern. He’s bought in to the “dumb blond” stereotype, and doesn’t care at all for the blond girls (even though he and both of his parents are blond).

By Laura

October 25, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

SW and others — I wish you could research the conditions of the countries where these celebrities are adopting “brown skin children.” You might then see that when eyes are opened to the horrific suffering of these innocent souls you cannot turn away from them. If you have or can find the means to do something, you are compelled to. I know from where I speak. My first child is Ethiopian.

Celebrities have thefinancial means to do it and so I am glad that they do — if it is considered en vogue to do so, maybe more children will live because of it and there is nothing negative about that.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

Not all black men who wear there pants around there butts or have gold teeth are all drug dealers. It is urban fashion that has roots in hiphop culture. it is no longer exclusive to African American Urban Youth. Caucasian subBurg youth are doing ti as well. Travel and you will see that HipHop Fashion has affected fashion all over the world. I saw it in Tokoyo, Beijing, London, Paris, Cairo, Dakar, Rio, Mexico City, Berlin, Seoul, Sydney, Everywhere it has become international. Fashion like music doesn’t belong to noone. It might have its roots in a certain community or ethnicity but it soon becomes the property of everyone. Is it to say that that all people that listen to HipHop are drug dealers and that all people that listen to Rock are hippies or skin heads. No that is not the case. I have Blues, Rap, World, Reggae, Salsa, classical and opera. I love all types of music. I even own a few pairs of Timerlands boots but at the same time my favorite pair of shoes my BIRKENSTOCKS sandals. Yeah i get all types of looks from all types of ethnicities it is rare to see a black man wearing Birks but heck they are comfortable. So you can not define a person by there hair cut or there fashion. I know a Preacher in Nashville who dresses in Goth he is not Gothic or wicca he just love to dress in that manner. I know CEO here in atlanta that are Brooks Brother’s by day and FUBU, PHAT Farm and RocaWear by night. and they make 6 figures a year but if you saw them out on the street you would dismiss them as a THUG or a Hooligan. I have seen some caucasians who are the best dress but don’t have a job. It is fashion. no longer can you judge a man by what he wears. Look at our senators they wear some of the best business clothing there is and they are Crooks. Look at the ENRON scandal.. they are Corporate THUGS.

By my kid has two moms

October 25, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

my son, cutie that he is, dates (thankfully only occassionally and is not serious yet — he is only 16) and he dates people who interest him and treat him well. He self-identifies as bi and has date male and female of several different ethnic backgrounds. As long as he is happy and being smart about unprotected sex (I wish he wouldn’t at all, but I am not that naive) we are fine with whomever he brings home.

By Azian Boy

October 25, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

Does race matter? Yes and no. Yes to a degree, if we’re talking about marriage, and they are people of two different cultures raised in two different ways. No, if they are just exploring and dating…

I’m an Asian man who has dated every race, and will continue to do so, but will probably settle down with a woman of my own kind. Why? Because I find that I have more in common with Asian women, because there is less explaining to do, and less navigating around certain points… Certain things that people of other races may take for granted, I may take seriously, and vice-versa… I’ve found this to be the biggest challenge when dating women outside of my race. We may be attracted to one another, we may enjoy spending time together, but at some point, differences rise up. All couples have differences, but it is so much harder if you do not share common values, resolve conflicts in similar ways, or pay more than lip service to genuinely respecting differences… It is easier if that person was raised in a similar environment and shares similar cultural values.

In the end, it shouldn’t matter who you date, but reality is, your upbringing, your culture, and your family dynamics play a huge role in who you ultimately end up with, and whether that relationship will last or not.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

Celebrities adopting children from other countries is nothing new Josphine Baker a famous African American entertainer did it. IF i recall correctly she had children from almost every continent if not two. The reason why so many people adopt children from other countries cause it is alot easier. The United States has alot of children in the foster system but they make people who WANT children to love jump thru hoops and flames and still deny them. So when a country like South Africa, China or Thailand, Ethopia allows it i think it is beautiful. I am seriously thinking about adopting several children from other countries WHY? Because my aunt and uncle who both have no criminal record, have great jobs or rather careers making combined 300K a year are adopting. I can see the hurt in their eyes when we have a family function and they do not have children of their own due to Medical reproductive reasons on both their parts. They have been trying for 2 or 3 years to adopt here in the United States, and have been declined but they recently went over to South Africa and Bostwana and Senegal and The Gamiba and they have been approved in less then a few months in every country. They were only going to adopt one child they are now going to adopt 7. Now the sad part is that these productive citizens whose cup runneth over with Love can not even adopt one of the many children that need homes here in the USA but can go to other countries and adopt 7 children in less then 4 months. I will be meeting my new cousins as soon as the process is finalized. What makes the process even more moving is that one of the children is a child that has special needs.

The american adoption process is very flawed and is almost set up to keep those children in foster homes and orphanages. I don’t knock Madonna for her adoption or any other Celebrity or average citizen for when they have to travel beyond our borders to find a child to love.

By EB

October 25, 2006 01:38 PM | Link to this

isidingo - and i thought we were getting close to and understanding. - )

saying that i respect others opinions and that i support ‘going against the grain’ are in no way contradictory. i can and do believe my parents have valid views on many topics, just as i believe that they are wrong on others. in the end i believe in having as much information as possible thereby allowing me to make an educated decision. as much as it pains me to say - i think you’ve completely missed the boat or are simply one to ‘go against the grain’ in an endeavor to prove something - to whom i have no idea.

my life is my life - as my parents lives are theirs. does my life belonging solely to me thereby give me the right to act and do as i please? if so, i could get downtown a he** of a lot faster, have possibly billions of dollars in my accounts after having taken them from whomever i saw fit, etc and so forth. because according to your logic as i follow it, i have no obligation to anyone other than myself.

a tad narcissistic don’t you think?

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

Azian Boy isn’t your own kind HUMAN??? you mean from your own culture?????? And just to let you know their is explaining to do weather you date in or out of your culture or ethnicity.. I find that when i have dated women of my same ethncity that i have to explain the way i do things because we come from two different family that do different things and were raised in different ways. Prime example I dated a young lady from maryland. She put sugar on her Grits and they have Crab on major holidays that shocked me being Atlanta Born and raised. She ate Pork and beef I don’t. She was Catholic, I am African Methodist Episicpal. yeah we have alot of things in common bein from the same country and being of the same ethnicity but we had to do alot of explaining of why we did everythin different. What caused us to break up was when she came to my family’s home in Decatur and she found it ODD my family sat down at the table for EVERY Meal. She refused to eat at the table and that let me know that she doesn’t value family time as I do and it would have been a major problem if we had decided to get married and have kids, cause i would have demanded everyone eat as a family unit and she might have been on of those you eat when you want to where you want to kinda of families.

So even within a Culture or as you put it a KIND (which still baffles me that you used the word Kind as if we are different species) there are differences in how an individual is raised, that can cause problems in a relationship.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

EB I understand what you are saying. But what you think i am saying is not accurate. I Love my family, I would never do anything to embrass my family or anyone that i say that i Love and value. I just think that there are somethings that you have to do to make you happy? What good is gaining the world if your lose your soul? Marrying out side of your ethnicity is not going to cost you your soul. But stealing, and hurting others will.

By all means do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t hurt others. If you love a woman of another ethnicity but your parents say that they dont’ want you to marry her because it will make them look bad in the eyes of there friends, coworkers and church members seems to me to be a problem for them and not you. Do you give up your Love to make your parents happy. Time heals all. They might not like it but I am sure they will get over it. I think that is the part of the contribution to the high divorce rate in the USA is because people are marrying people they don’t love to make mom and dad happy and therefore livin a life of regret and unhappiness.

It is very possible to do what makes you and your parents happy. But is a fine line when you have to live fo ryou and not for them. My father wanted me to go into the military, I didn’t. yes he was upset and said that He would be embrassed cause I would be breaking tradition. The military will make you man and let you see the world. Well he now is eatin Crow because i am a outstanding specimen of a man and i have seen more of the world then any of my military enlisted cousins and uncles. So yes I went against what my father Demanded to do what makes me happy and he got over it and is still proud of me for going against his decision that he had set for MY life. I am drug free, a wonderful career, no criminal record, a passport full of stamps and I hold my head up high. I think that means more to them then me not being in the military

By bellamomma

October 25, 2006 01:59 PM | Link to this

“Men are rather more open to dating other races then us women.”

i agree but I think that is because it has been made more socially acceptable for men than women.

By EB

October 25, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

stayinvolved - the look may be inconsequential, the intent / thought process behind the look may/or may not be - don’t know i wasn’t there. from what i’ve seen some people interact with interracial couples differently than they do with non-interracial couples. Staring / gawking, making under-the-breath comments etc.

Truthfully i’m happy to read that your child has had no issues related to being bi-racial. Hope it stays that way.

By Lawd Have Mercy!

October 25, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

Jeez. Who cares? We live in a world where white women want big lips and big butts, black women want white women’s noses and blue eyes. What is the big deal with interracial dating? As long as two people love each other and their values and beliefs are the same, it’s stupid to stay apart because of skin color. That goes for Asians and Hispanics as well! As the races meld together, the human race is actually becoming more attractive? Remember Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth I!? Ugliest people I’d ever seen! They were pure white with pencil thin lips and frizzy red hair!!!! Let the races mix! Human features will be beautiful and all the ridiculous racism will stop. I’m a white woman in my 40’s I speak with maturity and wiseness.

By john

October 25, 2006 02:09 PM | Link to this

I have dated ladies of ALL colors. And surprisingly, the only friction I received was from African-Americans, not Whites.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:11 PM | Link to this

ISIDINGO…you make some very valid points. I respect you and wish others were as “worldly” as you. I never veer off when I approach a group of young black men wearing gold and low riders. It truly is an urban fashion and white kids everywhere try to emmulate the koolness. Conservative society seems to think that unless one wears starched button downs with fitted pants that the indivudal must be a threat to society or a loser. WRONG!!! I’d love to have the bank account that Dupri and Pharrell have!!!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this

EB people are going to have a problem with anythin that you do. It has nothing to do with who you are dating or married to. I have been out with friends of all ethnicities and people were not talking about race. I have even been out with a group of friend who was all of African decent and one of my closet friends came in with his new girlfriend who was blond hair and blue eyes. The women in the gather were not talking about her bein with a black man they were talking about her Weave and he shoes and if her breast were real. She had lipstick on her teeth. She was not a bad looking person by no means. But race was not the issue. People are always going to have something to wear. I am guilt of talking about something my friend has on or a hair sytle that is horrible. I say it under my breath, i say it with a Text message and i have even wrote it on a napkin lol. But they could careless about him being with a white woman. I even told him his tie was not matching what he had on as well as his unpolished shoes.

I am sure that people are talking about alot more then just race under their breath. what is that line from that song LETS GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT. “People are talking talking about people” they are going to talk about you regardless of your race.

By Lisa K.

October 25, 2006 02:18 PM | Link to this

My daughter is approaching her 12th birthday and the whole dating thingee has become a small conversation between my husband I. We are Christians and as long he has the same beliefs and core values and morals, it doesn’t matter.

By Something's Phishy

October 25, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

To Keep it Real:

How is “Hispanic” a nationality?!! What nation do Hispanics come from — Hispania? Hispanic is a race. Mexican is a nationality.

By Harry

October 25, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

Love should have no boundaries or barriers and its sad that only children in this day and time see people as people and not skin color or ethnicity until they learn the differences as they get older. It takes 2 strong people straight or gay who have a good handle on themselves to date outside there race, so many obstacles they face from stares and comments, let alone become serious in a relationship. YOu would think as adults, most people could be more accepting of interracial dating. But its hypocritical how its said in the US, we are a melting pot of a host of cultures and ethnicities but on the same token not my daughter or my son will get involved or marry outside there race. I have heard the comment, ” They were raised better than that”. As long as human beings are of all races, shapes and sizes there will always be naysayers on this subject, we still balk at people who marry outside there religious upbringing, this controversy will always be. People will always have issues regarding interracial dating, sad to say in the 21st century. Heck we haven’t done much about racism that’s an age old problem that still rages. Think about how that adds to the problems of interracial dating. Thoughts to think about!

By Elizabeth

October 25, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

Earl… your comment “Tell your daughter to lose a few pounds and then maybe you won’t have to beg for dates on her behalf.” is so stupid that it’s really not worthy of a rebuttal; but as the hot-headed Italian mother of a child who I would defend to the death, I feel I must correct you. Granted I’m biased, but my daughter is absolutely gorgeous (and only 14 by the way) and I doubt I’ll ever be put in the position of begging for dates on her behalf.

My comment, when taken in the spirit with which it was written, is simply trying to answer the question which serves as the title of this blog “Would you allow interracial dating?”. In other words, if my daughter came home and told me she was in love with a Jewish black lesbian I would care less as long as that person was kind, gentle, respectful and loved her with all of their heart.

Now, go iron your robe and your hood so you’re ready for your next meeting. (Sorry folks… I couldn’t resist.)

By some people change

October 25, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

Approaching 12 and considering dating? Heavens to mergatroid!

By some people change

October 25, 2006 02:29 PM | Link to this

Elizabeth, your comment to Earl was what Theresa asked us not to do.

By mombie

October 25, 2006 02:30 PM | Link to this

troopers, it’s whats on the inside that counts! ooh, celine is on, tt 4 now

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:31 PM | Link to this

Elizabeth honey, in this day and time, instead of using hood and robes, use a “bhurka” comment. If you want to insult someone on their racist beliefs, the best way to make your point is to make reference to them being a conservative Islamist with repressive values!!!!! Even the Klan allows rights for women…know what I mean?

By bobbie

October 25, 2006 02:33 PM | Link to this

I have tried to date white men, but the treatment when we are out from black men is horrible. It is downright intimidating…people look at me like I’m a traitor….I didn’t really have too many bad experiences from white women….a few white men looked curios, but no rudeness. I am married now to a black man, but i still find white men attractive.

I really think black women are missing the boat sitting around waiting on a black man like he is the answer for cancer. We should get our attitudes right and explore other options. No sense sitting around being lonley in your big pretty house by yourself or sharing some black man. Do something different.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

You know how i think is the best at dealing the race issue are COMEDIANS. They talk about everyone, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Dave Chappell and even more the creaters of SOUTH PARK. They beleive that if you make fun of everyone then noone can get offended. Sometimes laughter is the best way to heal the racial scars that have been inflected on the world. Also forums like this as well do alot for the understanding of different ethnicities and backgrounds.

I think the biggest problem with the United States is that we are to full of ourselves. I have found that we are the only country that tries to control the world BUT we don’t SEE the world except thru the eyes of the TV screen. That fuels alot of our ignorance and intolerance. I have been all over the world. When other countries citizens go on holiday they go to other countries and other parts of the world. Americans we just plop down in front of the TV on holiday we don’t even see our own country let alone others.

The problem is that American citizens are just Citizens of the United States they are are not World Citizens. That is why race relations is such a touchy subject in this country. Venture outside of the borders and alot of the way we view African, Asian, European, Middle Eastern and Latin American countries and their citizens would very much improve.

By EB

October 25, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

isidingo - i agree.. people will talk, girls especially (sorry ladies but it’s true).

dating interracially simply serves to stir the pot as it were and may subject the ‘daters’ to unwanted/unwarranted attention from others. should you not date someone b/c some idiot may or may not approve - of course not, we’ve already established they’re idiots.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

Bobbie, it really sucks that you got stares from being a “traitor”. I was once married to a man from India and I’m a white woman. Those were THE best times of my life but different goals in life led to our our demise. I still love that man with all my heart and until people of ALL colors learn to love and be open, society will continue to fear and retreat from exploring beyond their own race.

By abgroove

October 25, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

I dated outside of my race once. Everyone in my family disliked her very much. Everyone. They all told me that she wasn’t good enough for me. I stopped dating her partly because of family pressure.

By Shirley

October 25, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

It is a sin according to the Bible. I do not believe it is a good thing. Bad for everyone concerned, including any children born of the couple.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:47 PM | Link to this

ISIDINGO…I am also a world traveler! And it’s not just racial acceptance outside this country, it is also sexual preference. America may be the mighty power, but it’s almost as repressive as the Taliban in some of it’s beliefs. You being a world traveler, you’ll know it’s cool for straight men to hug and hold hands in foreign countries. But sexual preference is also tolerated as witnessed in the Pigale district in Paris!!! And don’t forget the Bralizian/Grecian beaches where topless women are totally acceptable. Believe it or not people, America IS the most conservative country in the world!!!! Been there! Seen it!!!! No wonder the races seem to think it’s a tabu to date interracially!!! So sad.

By Common Sense

October 25, 2006 02:47 PM | Link to this

Men are more acceptable of dating outside their race….of course they are! Most (I didn’t say all) of them will take whatever they can, whenever they can…they could care less what color she is!

And to answer the question of the day “Do parents today mind if their teens date outside their race?”

This one does.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this

Shirley…please quote the verse and scripture that we and our children will go to hell. You belong in the same cesspool as the Taliban and their repressive beliefs !!!

By abc

October 25, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this

Now, yall are making no sense with that ‘men more willing to date outside their race’ thing. Is it not true that for every man dating outside his race, there is a woman that is also dating outside her race? I’d say that by definition, it’s a 1-to-1 proposition.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this

I BLAME THE MEDIA FOR FUELING ALL STEROTYPES

The Media has painted the Black man to be Violent and abusive and bad fathers or the baby daddy to many women The Mandingo-to many-father-to-none. The media has painted the black woman to be a generation Welfare recipiant and a baby making machine. But the media has notpainted the white woman in a good light either. Girls gone wild have painted the white woman to be a gold digging plastic surgery flash your breast for a dollar permissious when under the influence slut or a submissive-I DREAM of GENIE- LEAVE IT TO BEAVER clone. Now they have not left the white man in the dark either. They are painted as the money hungry will stab even their family in the back to make a dollar putting mother in a home to get her out of their hair or the NASCAR Loving Southern cross and Bar flying redneck. Ooh but let me no stop there. they have painted the Latino/Hispanic person as a cartell being broder crossing only working as house keepers and in construction illegal. Asians are painted as Math loving bad drivers. Middle eastern people as camel riding extremist

Everyone gets their bad POV in the media and noone is exempt. If we see the world we will see that none of these things are 100% true of any ethnicity. But we let a few images form our opinions of the masses. It is not limited to Ethnicity, but religions and lifestyles and even politics and economic situations.

I BLAME THE MEDIA for fueling our hatred and stereotypical ideas of other ethnicities/races. Turn off the TV and see the world and alot of this madness will stop.

By Stacey

October 25, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this

Allow - yes, encourage - no.

I am a black woman who is often mistaken as biracial. I never dated anyone of another race although I did have crushes on white guys as a teenager (classmates & celebrities).

I don’t have an issue with people dating other races if it “just happens” but I do have a problem with it if the person dates exclusively outside of his / her race. My teenage nephew told me last week that he is only attracted to white and hispanic girls. When I asked why, he said he didn’t know. I don’t deny hoping he outgrows this but will still love him if he doesn’t.

Why is my business who others date? It isn’t, but neither is a lot of what I have opinions about.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

Common Sense….which of the two following vehicles do you drive? A huge SUV with a soccer ball sticker plastered across the tailgate or a pick-up truck with a confederate flag in the window. Those are the only two blazing neons left that announces “I’m a racist and better than everyone else!!”

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

thanks abc….for every white man dating outside his race, doesn’t that mean the woman is dating outside her race as well? Do the numbers people.

By Staceye

October 25, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this

Earl & AA should be put on a deserted island called Moron’s Plain and let them fight to the death with their own ignorance….

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this

The idea of Masculinity and Femininity is different in other countries as well LAWD HAVE MERCY you are so right. I had low self esteem growing up but it took my first trip to an african country now my esteem is borderline Narcassistic. Because men are not judge in AFrican countries by the kind of car that they drive or the size of there muscles. You are so right. I am a very slim man. I have always been looked at my life as being fragile and weak cause of my frame. No matter how many trophies i won in track or swimming i was still seen as being Fragile, When I went to China, Japan, Brazil, The Gambia, SOuth AFrica, Senegal, Mexico, Jamaican, Trinidad. the United Kingdom, Spain, France. Noone cared about my slim frame it is seem to be sexy in those countries. It is only when i returned to the United States did my esteem taken an attack. We judge each other and i am even guilty of it myself. I use to think that all fat people were lazy cause i come from slim stock until in college I was outran by a guy that i saw as Lazy and a big fat slob. I was shocked by my view has changed. I dont’ care what someone has on or their size, if you are unconditional and can love ou are alright with me. I tried to hide how slim i was all my life. now I dont’ care I am slim and proud because I am handsome and sexy :) But it took me getting out of this BUBBLE we call the UNITED STATES to see that this world is made up of all types and it takes all types to make the world go round.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

Stacey, it’s not necessarily a bad thing when love attracts us to a “specific” race. I would suggest to look at it as how same sexes are attracted to only each other. Same thing with racial preferences. It just happens to be how one’s libido operates. I know alot of white men who love the voluptuousness of black/hispanic women. And there are alot of black women who love the “exectuve” type white man who will give them the luxury lifestyle complete with the gated community and interior decorator. The thing is..they have to find the partner who ALSO shares the same openness. Harder found than said!

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 03:14 PM | Link to this

Oh Shirley…please tell me you are not trying to equate the mixing of “tribes” of the Old Testament with today’s issues. Please tell me you aren’t doing that. Even theology scholars will tell you that is bunkity bunk. There are actual passages that touch on other sins mentioned in this blog today….but interracial marriage “ain’t” one of them.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this

Hey! LawdHaveMercy……ease up on the big SUV’s. I happen to drive a very lovely Expedition. No soccer sticker…..but a lovely vanity plate!

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:18 PM | Link to this

ISIDINGO…you are crackin me up!! I was skin and bones and flat chested for SOOOO many years. Then when I hit 43, all hell broke loose. For a white woman, I finally got those boobs and booty I always wanted when I looked at a black woman….plus a few more curves in all the wrong places!!! LOL!!! Look at this way…at least you will never have to deal with cholesterol and high blood pressure usually associated with “fat” frames! LOL!!! That’s me now!!!

By some people change

October 25, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this

The only thing that has been left out of this conversation is polygamy……………

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

Thank you Jesse’s Girl!!!! Dontcha just love the biblical philanthropical righteousness?

By Laura

October 25, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

“It is a sin according to the Bible. I do not believe it is a good thing. Bad for everyone concerned, including any children born of the couple.”

Shirley, first of all what bible are you reading? And one more thing, Shirley: Jesus did not really have blonde hair and blue eyes.

By Shirley

October 25, 2006 03:23 PM | Link to this

To Jesse’s Girl and Lawd Have Mercy: I prefer to follow God’s word not yours.

By TC

October 25, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this

@Jaszmin, that was the most stupid racist comment I have read so far…sure there is more to come though. According to one of your own AA guys that works for me, the reason they like to date white women is because their afraid of the crazy things you AA women do for stupid reasons. He forgot his AA girlfriends ice cream for her big fat butt one afternoon and woke up from a nap with her about to pour boiling grits on him. He also said you tick of an AA female and you better guard your car, cause that’s the first thing their going to try and destroy. If you women would learn to act like ladies, you might could keep your men. You on the other hand claim it’s because you are strong..LOL..it doesn’t take much strengh to pour sugar in your boyfriends gas tank. Sorry for the negativity, but your blog really p** me off as you can tell.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this

Hey Jesse’s Girl!!! LOL!!! Sorry bout that SUV comment. But I know you know what I mean. If anyone looks down their $$ noses, it’s through those soccer stickers with the corporate “paid for” car washes and vacuums! I hereby grant you a reprieve from driving a roadhog! :-) Confession…I drive one too but only a simple Explorer…complete with month old McDonalds french fries stuffed between the seats and last year’s bubble gum embedded in the “cup holder”.

By Lawd Haver Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Shirley…still waiting for that verse. Prove it and I will follow! Amen.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this

Shirley…I am referencing my Bible as we speak. If you have a passage for me, please tell me so that I can look it up directly. I know this book. There are passages that relate to homosexuality, lying, jealousy….a myriad of sins we all commit everyday. I honestly have not come across anything that deals with race mixing. Educate me.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 03:33 PM | Link to this

Yeah but I have a hard time finding clothes. I am slim lol 5’11 135 with a 26 waist. I can’t find clothes to fit me.. I have a long torso and long arms and legs. When I got off the plane in South African I got all kinda of looks and stares i had my first date there before i could even get out of the airport lol. The same happen in Brazil and the UK and Japan. and the thing is also that is where i buy all my clothes. Because American clothing companies do not make stuff to fit the slim man. With the waist line of the USA gettin bigger the clothing is more suited to fit them. I have dated women all over the world and it is when i leave my baggy none fittin clothes in the United States is when I redress myself in the more form fitting clothes of the rest of the world I am a Diamond in the rough. But i do not meet the standards of what is attractive in the USA but I am Internationally sexy to the rest of the world lol. Even this is not directly related to interracial dating but indirectly it is. What is viewed as un attractive and not the standard in the USA is different in the rest of the world. Look at New Orleans it was the city that gave the USA diversity Creole and Molatto is common place there and in other Former, Spanish, portuguese, British and French colonies. All but the United States. For a country that preaches tolerance and freedom we are sure the most close minded nation on this planet.. THE DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO mentality is contagious in this country.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this

Laura…the freaks come out at night. Let’s just ship Shirley to Afghanisthan. I think she secretly wants to wear a bhurka and submiss herself to the wiles of any man who walks by. Shirley!!! You shouldn’t be on here speaking. Your master will have a fit when he finds you speaking a mind of your own.

By Linda

October 25, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this

I have no issues with interracial dating. I am a white female and I have been in an interracial relationship with a wonderful black man for the past five years. I would not feel offense if either of my daughters chose to date/marry outside their race. I believe that people today, who are racist, should honestly take a look at their reasons for racism and reevaluate life in the 21st century. Race is just that … RACE. I firmly believe that if God had not intended for races to mix/mingle he would have not created this diverse universe that we live in. Our blood is all the same color … and it all runs through our veins in the same fashion.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

TC hold on a minute. Crazy things are not restricted to African American women. The woman that ran over her husband more then a dozen times was not African American she was Caucasian, Lorana Bobbitt lets us not forget her She cut off her Husbands penis, She was not African American either. Ohh lets us not forget the women that Killed her Husband or Fiance’ AND boyfriend by givin them Antifreeze. OOh and lets not forget about the world famous RUN AWAY Bride she was not all that stable either. And none of the situations that make it into the NATIONAL MEDIA are about AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN. so don’t pull that card that African American women are Crazy. Atleast they don’t make it in the news for Cutting off their Husband Penis. To me that is beyond Crazy. The woman that drove her children into the Lake, and the women that Drown each of her kids in the bath tub one by one…. HUMM are those not all CAUCASIAN WOMEN???????? All doings those things to get back at their husbands or mates. So lets be fair if you are going to give examples of crazy things that Black women do Lets pull in the National Circulated things that WHITE WOMEN HAVE DONE TO THEIR WHITE HUSBANDS.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

ISIDINGO…I can see you are a man who accepts himeself..outside what others maythink. Good for you!! Self-confidence is half the attractiveness others may find in another. You are obviously not lacking in self-confidence and for good reason. Keep travelin’ when you can…it’s good for the soul. As a traveling soulmate, wouldn’t it suck if every one and every thing were all the same?

By Mike K.

October 25, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

To Jesse’s Girl and Lawd Have Mercy: I prefer to follow God’s word not yours.

Shirley you forgot to put in “my interpretation of” before “God’s word not yours.”

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

Linda! That could NOT have been said better!

By Sarah

October 25, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this

ISDINGO you do like to post your opinion don’t you? When people like Madonna and Angelina Jolie adopt children of another race I beleive to be as much of a fashion statement, or a trend, as their current excercise regime is or the way they currently wear their hair. I am highly suspect of anything these two media hounds do. Another point, a six figure income does not ensure good breeding and/or class, a pedigree. One may have a seven figure income and still act and look as if you were raised in Building C of the projects, do not construe money with class or social acceptance.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this

Mike K! Amen to that!!! LOL!

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

Shirley…..the book of Numbers speaks of how Moses married out of his tribe or race. Both his people and her’s were unsetteld by this. But God passed judgment on them and not Moses and his new wife. The book of Acts also touches on this. Thought you might like to know.

By Staceye

October 25, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

TC you missed you boat to Moron’s Plains….what kind of crazy crap are you speaking of? Black women are not the only ones who get their revenge on their men in crazy ways. And refering to Black women and their “fat @ss”…why are other women paying for body parts that God gave us naturally? Why do other’s get skin cancer trying to “tan”. If being Black or AA or whatever the hell you want to be called is a negative thing…then stop imitating!!!

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 03:58 PM | Link to this

Sarah, I find ISIDINGO’s comments very realistic and reflecting society. And no…you are very wrong. Seven figures does NOT imitate those who make four figures in the projects. Are you living in a vaccuum? While those who make seven figures may cross the same criminal boundaries as those who earn four-figure salaries in the projects, the difference is…the seven figured-salary believes they are ABOVE the law and are very seldom prosected with the same fairness and intensity of those with the four figure incomes of those in the projects because they have the BIG bucks, tesulting in lesser fines and lesser senttences for the seven figures …and sometimes no sentence at all. Money CAN buy things..even legal wrongs!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 03:58 PM | Link to this

Sarah, by no means do i think money=class but when adopting income is a major portion of it. Now Madonna is not my idea of an ideal parent but is any parent an idea parent. She has raised 2 children already and if she has the love to give to another one then so be it live and let live. We can argue all day as who is fit or unfit to adopt but the longer peopel argue the longer children will go without parents. My aunt and uncle are godfearing, productive honest well educated citizen that just by chance can’t have there own kids. They have so much love and they want to share it. As long as a person has a good heart and can support a child i am all for them adopting.

And as far as me posting my opinion. ISN’T THAT WHAT WE ARE ALL HERE FOR? WHY COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMEONE POSTING IN A BLOG THAT IS SET UP TO EXCHANE OPINIONS? Now that I don’t get. If something that I say sparks a conversation then Great. I am enjoying myself and enjoying reading other people comments. And you are not going to rain on my parade.

By myopinion

October 25, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

You can believe what you want but I believe if God wanted us to all intermingle he would have made us all the same race. Red birds and black birds and blue birds do not mix they have more sense.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

Staceye…I already made reference to white girls wanting to imitate black women. (and vica versa…small noses, blue eyes). But here, here to the big butt and big lips! I’m half-way there with the big butt! LOL!

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

myopinion and those said birds also have the brains the size of walnuts and they eat there own feces and push there young out of the nest if they are weak. Having a degree in Animal Sciences with a concentration in Animal Behavior. Birds and other creatures have been known to interbreed especially if they have compatible DNA. So since ALL humans have 23 sets of Chromosomes we are all the Same Species. SO what is the problem GOD ment for humans to be with humans and since there are no subspecies of human your Argument doesn’t have Merit. AFrican Americans has the same amount of Chromosomes as a European American. SO Genetically speaking your argument is full of flaws and doesn’t fly. YOu are acting like we are different species and we are mating out side of our species.. Race is not a species. Homo sapien is all of our species yours and MINE.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 04:16 PM | Link to this

See ISIDINGO…this “racial” interest is an all new thing to me as far as Madonna goes. Since when did she EVER show an interest in adoption…expecially children of a different race. I find her motives suspect. I have been a Madonna fan since her Dick Clark “I want to rule the world” comment, and I have never once seen or heard her show interest in adoption, much less interest in “other” racial children. Lourdes may be Spanish but she never showed “real” interest in poor or orphaned children in third world countries. Is she chasing Angelina Jolie? One who I believe really IS seeking best interests of the chilren? I think Madonna’s full of crap, trying to get her name in the good book. And this African child, David? She’ll have very little contact as her hired “African” nanny raises him. He WILL be well cared for and educated, but I don’t think for one minute that Madonna will embrace this child as she does Lourdes or Rocco, Jr. I find it but nothing more than an attempt for this vain Star to have the public say “oh wow..look at here and her selflisness” while she re-creates herself, as usual, once again. As much as I used to like her, I don’t buy her “sincerety” in wanting to give a poor child a chance. Publicity and public worship…that’s what I see.

By Lawd Have Mercy

October 25, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this

ISIDINGO…your comment to myopinion was BRILLIANT!!!! And by the same logic, that is why the human race cannot breed with Apes!!! Who are so similar to our DNA that it is only a single percentage difference that we can not! Yet, we can breed with those of a different skin color. Seems obvious to me!

By MYOPINION

October 25, 2006 04:21 PM | Link to this

Like I said its MY OPINION! Birds have brains the size of walnuts and use their brain alot more than some loud mouth homo sapiens. I still do not recall blue, red and/or black birds mixing together. Humm if they did we would have pscho birds, right?

By Michelle

October 25, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this

According to the Bible it is also a sin for men to shave, that should tell you how out of date the Old Testament is. The New Testament speaks of love and acceptance.

By Jesse's Girl

October 25, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this

My Opinion….please read my last post to Shirley. Or better yet…look it up.

By TC

October 25, 2006 04:23 PM | Link to this

Isidingo & Stacey, So, it was OK for Jaszmin to have her say but not me? For your information I simply asked an employee of mine why he preferred white women and that was the statement I recieved from him and the big fat butt comment was not made in a racial mannor (white women have some big ones too) but when your 400+ pounds like she was, I think the terminolgy applied was well suited.

By SW

October 25, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this

I think the majority of these post are thoughtful although I question how many on here would change their opinions if or when this happens to them. I question the total truth factor here. I wnat what is best for my kids, a good education, a good mate,a good income and most of all good health. The same would apply to me if my child is gay. Do I want that? No. Would I accept this, of course I would. I don’t wnt my blonde haired blued haired daughter dating a skinhead, a tattooed freak that looks like a pin cushion. I want her to have a healthy mix of friends and relationships but in my heart I want her to fall in love and marry a male of her own race and saomeone compatible in her religious beliefs too. I want life to be as easy for her as possible. Will I love her less if she chooses otherwise? I will love her no matter what she chooses, she is my child.

By myopinion

October 25, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this

I agree with ya in regards to the Madonna statement Lawd Have Mercy but I think Jolie should give the country money to raise their own children. Her adopting two doesn’t help the rest of those poor children who need food and clothing.

By Stacey

October 25, 2006 04:38 PM | Link to this

Lawd Have Mercy…I know that even if we deny it, we all have our preferences. I am bothered by those who say they would never date someone of their own race. My husband has a black male friend who only dates white women because (in his words) black women are too hateful and materialistic. When I asked if that included his mother, sister and me, he said no but that we are the only exceptions. Although it was probably meant to be a compliment, it actually hurt my feelings (don’t know why).

My nephew has always had a thing for girls with long hair. Beyonce was just as beautiful as Britney. He recently transferred from a school that was 80% black to one that is 60% white. It’s since then that he’s only attracted to white & hispanic girls. It may be a phase, who knows. My son is 5 and thinks that all girls, including me, are DISGUSTING.

By abc

October 25, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this

Nothing in the Bible condemns inter-racial marriage. Rahab and Ruth are both examples of it. From a genetic perspective, racial differences are extremely slight. The Bible does condemn marriage between a Christian and non-Christian.

Yall watch too much TV and read too much People magazine with all the Madonna and Angelina stuff… do you REALLY care what they do? Do you think they REALLY represent anything about normal society?

By MyEyesBecameOpen

October 25, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

Years ago the Grand Master of the Klan David Duke was asked this very topic and his reply was “I want my Grand Kids to Look Like Me”. As a black male I pondered it and said I do too. But as the years rolled by, I realize what he was saying is I want my Grand Kids to have the same Skin Color that I have. Now I realize that no matter what two races brought the child into the world, if you look past the skin color, you’ll see the parents in that child. I think interacial dating is ok. I think all women are beautiful no matter what race they are.

By G. Chell

October 25, 2006 05:01 PM | Link to this

If we strictly interpret the Old Testament and God separating the languages at the Tower of Babel, the very existence of white and black America is a sin. At the Tower of Babel God did not separate the races. He separate the human tribe into language groups so that they do not challenge God. By mixing various language groups into one, the creation of the white American identity is a sin according to the old testament.

By KittyKat

October 25, 2006 05:04 PM | Link to this

I will not allow my daughter to date outside of her race….the HUMAN race, that is!

Love sees no color. :)

My family has a few interracial members and I like it that way. We’re not bland, we’re spicey!

By KittyKat

October 25, 2006 05:09 PM | Link to this

Hi Shirley,

Unevenly yoked means christian & non-christian couples, not black & white.

Trust me, I don’t think that God would put these interracial couples together if he was against it. I have seen some that have prayed for God’s guidance is finding a mate, and sometimes the mate is of an opposite race. That’s ok. They are still active in church and been married for several years.

By Reality Check

October 25, 2006 05:13 PM | Link to this

Shirley, bless your heart, dear. Bless your heart. (shaking head)

The beautiful colors of the rainbow COMBINE to create art like none other.

Please also remember that Adam and Eve are the foreparents of us all. Each and every one of us. These people that you don’t want to mix with are already your relatives! LOL!

Hey, if you don’t already know, cats come in different colors, too! They seem to get along just fine!

Bless your heart, dear. YOU came from a mixed background. You may not want to face that, but as the rest of us informed people know, the world is a lot bigger than the little spot of land you exist on.

Please educate yourself quickly! Travel the world! Take an anthropology class. See “Roots”, volumes 1-5.

You folks are cracking me up today! (rolling in chuckles)

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 06:33 PM | Link to this

I love the comment that KittyKat made.. she will not let her daughter date outside her race.. THe human race. isn’t that all that matter. We have people that are acting like cause your skin is alabaster and mine is brown and there is olive that we are different species. We all have 23 pairs of chromosomes no matter what the Hue of our skin. that is where the origin of the word Human came from HUE meaning color and Man. And if we are refering to biblical reference if we are all created in GOD’s image. does that not mean that GOD him/her/itself is in fact all of us? SO by saying that you don’t like interacial dating or marriages is that kinda saying that you dont’ want and image of GOD dating or marriaging and other Image of GOD??????

I agree also with Reality check. If a German Shepard can breed with a Cocker Spaniel they are totally different on the outside but they also contain the same DNA. If people are going to use nature to condone interracial dating and marriages then you can also use that same POV to argue for it.

By ISIDINGO

October 25, 2006 06:49 PM | Link to this

Woops that last sentence should have been if they use nature to argue against interracial dating and marriages then you can use Nature to agrue for it.

By Mr. Praline

October 25, 2006 07:09 PM | Link to this

@ Something’s Fishy-No, “hispanic” is not a race. It’s a term used to identify people who themselves are from or whose ancestors came from Spain or countries where the Spanish language predominates. A hispanic person can be of any race-see http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hispanic/hispdef.html. Cubans are considered Hispanic and if you have ever been in Miami you know that there are both black and white Cubans living there. Jose Conseco (the former baseball player) is hispanic and Linda Ronstadt is (IIRC) part hispanic-both are obviously Caucasian.

By Joe

October 25, 2006 07:51 PM | Link to this

The vast majority of interracial dating involves black men and white women. I’ve seen very few white men with black women- north or south. Regardless of what others have said, life is difficult for children born to interracial parents.

By StarKilLer

October 25, 2006 08:56 PM | Link to this

I see nothing wrong with inter-racial dating, and as I white/persian man married to a black woman, I am so glad my mind was open.

The bible does not say anything against this, unles your interpreting it with the racist morals and culture you have been taught. Go and actually read copies of the translated manuscripts before they were put in KJV and NIV formats. If you won’t and you believe that it’s still wrong, then your believing in a false god basicly.

Now to the topic of general ignorance and who me and my wife have gotten the most flack from. Older generations of white and black people (50+), more white than black. some black men of all ages, and this one is a stupid reason most of the time. It’s ok for a black male to date a white female, but not ok for a white guy to date a black female because then the white guy is putting them down, llama logic to me.

Oh and the birds and other animals thing is another example of llama logic. It is all biological and something that someone who isn’t very educated would use to make an example with.

Oh and btw, my answer, hell yes.

By Fulton County Mom

October 26, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this

OK I did not check in yesterday and what do I get something I could speak from personal experience about! I will put myself in timeout later.

I have not dated outside my ethnic zone. However, I have many friends who did and married into it as well.

My SIL is from England and is Black. No not African-American, she is the first to say she is neither African or American so that “lable” doesn’t fit her. African-English or English-African just isn’t done!

When she and I worked together people asked all the time what my parents thought of “it.” These people could not even say what they wanted to know. My answere was “My parents think that my brother and she are living together. Why did you hear that they weren’t?” My parents were way more concerned with the morals of living without marriage than they were about what skin looked like.

I think my parents have a healthy attitude. I wish more people did.

Now many of my friends (white guys) have Chinese wives. Not Chinese-American, these ladies were born in China. I can honestly say that it has never occurred to me think anything about it.

My friends, and my family, have always been welcome in my home. So my children have always been around “mixed” relationships. I hope that the learn to see people as people. It’s the adults who teach them differently.

Only once did my daughter every say anything about it. I pointed out that with a Black Aunt, a Latino Uncle (South American),and a Jewish Aunt she was in the most rainbowed family I have ever seen. Then we talked about how 2 of her relatives were not even American (South American and English).

I am proud that both sides of kids’ families have such rich ethinic backgrounds to build from.

Stop judging a book by it’s cover people!

By Roseanne Rosanna Danna

October 26, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this

Interracial dating…like gay marriage, I think it is fine if both parties are so inclined. For me personally, I have nothing to do with it because I don’t run. I get shin splints and my legs hurt. But if you have two people who both like to race, more power to them. I dated a racer once. She started running and didn’t stop. Left me in the dust. It just wasn’t meant to be. And gay marriages. How many people are gay shortly after they get married? Yeah right, they have the honeymoon period and then they aren’t gay any more. Just glum and accepting. And what’s going on with this 700 mile Mexican fence? Who’s building it? Day laborers? I thought the border was longer than 700 miles. And why do we care if North Korea has nudes? I like nudes. The more the better. Damn. What a mess this world is in.

By LISA

October 26, 2006 09:12 AM | Link to this

Of course I would allow interracial dating. God made us all, why would one race be better than another? In each race you have people who are aren’t the best people to be with, those are the people you need to watch out for.

By lovelyliz

October 26, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this

I am fine with it. I’ve done it in the past and would do so again. My parents would be more concerned about me dating someone from a different. They wouldn’t object, just be concerned.

On the other hand, my sister’s in-laws and friends, especially the ones who claim to NOT be racist, would loose their minds if their children dated outside of their race.

By abc

October 26, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

G.Chell, God didn’t disperse the people of different languages because of their differences, he did it because they built the Tower of Babel in order to be closer to heaven and more like gods themselves in that way, which angered God (they ‘rose up against him’), and so he dispersed them.

By lovelyliz

October 26, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

I should clarify that it’s her friends & in-laws who were born and raised in the same area where they now live who have the biggest problems with this issue.

By bellamomma

October 26, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

Did anyone see the article about the man who circumsised his TWO year old DAUGHTER with a pair of scissors in her BEDROOM? That is horrible. He needs to be locked away forever. The article said the little girls mother didn’t know for a year ?!?!? WTF! she had to be bleeding badly and her own mother didn’t notice? Sorry but that put this topic into perspective for me at least.

By sharon

October 26, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

It’s easy for me to sit here and say I would be okay with it. In all honesty I don’t think I would want my daughter to marry a white man. I would be slightly okay if she dated him, but marriage would be hard for me to take. Relationships are hard enough without race being a factor. On a few occassions I have gone out to lunch with a white male co-worker, the looks and the service we get is unpleasant to say the least. People like to say that it’s the Black women who act a fool when they see the black man with the white woman, but I’m here to tell you the white men and white women are just as unpleasant. At the end of the day I want my children to be healthy, educated, happy and successful. I also want to look across the table and see grandchildren who look like me.

By Ms. Writer

October 26, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

I have dated outside of my race and men are equally stupid across the board..:) But seriously, the only people we got flack from was older white women and young black men…whewwww the stares, I mean glares were amazing….my mom was also not raised in the south, but in Japan so she was not raised under Jim Crow…she doesnt care as long as he “loves Jesus”…even my grandma who grew up in Georgiagoddamn and experienced the ignorance and n word outburts of hatred said that life is too short to hate….loving is much easier…and men are beautiful no matter what..have you seen Christian Bale, Isaiah Washington, Orlando Bloom, Derek Luke????

By Michelle

October 26, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

A two year old girl was circumcised? Interesting, I’ve never heard of a little girl born with foreskin.

By Summer G

October 26, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

If you choose to date someone outside of your race because you believe the stereotypes we have developed and conceived throughout the years to be true, then I say shame on you. If you choose to date someone outside of your race simply because you looked past what appears on the outside and saw the true heart of the individual for who they are, then Kudos to you!
I feel for our children these days, because of the adults they have as role models. The prejudice, the ignorance, the unexplained hatred, and the list goes on, is so doggone re-doggone-di-cu-lous!! We can go on and on about this, but the bottom line is this.
One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does………Who are you to judge?

By JustAskin'

October 26, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this

We have a bi-racial son. I am black with white ancestry from my great grandmother and son’s father is from Europe (Bulgaria). We get the stares and snide comments from just about every race. I am still trying to figure out “what my kind” is. We have gone places and heard the n-word lover or better yet, I think I white. Your desired mate may never come in your same shape, size, color, or even sexual orientation. I am not saying join hands and sing some songs or have racial sensitive classes, but have some repsect for the common man. It may not be what you like, but what quality of life are you gaining by expressing your views to some that probably doesn’t care?

By paul02085

October 26, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this

I think it stinks. I agree with Sharon. I want my grandchildren to be of my race. I cannot stop my children from doing what they want but they know i disapprove strongly. If that makes me a racist so be it.

By G. Chell

October 26, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this

“G.Chell, God didn’t disperse the people of different languages because of their differences, he did it because they built the Tower of Babel in order to be closer to heaven and more like gods themselves in that way, which angered God (they ‘rose up against him’), and so he dispersed them.”

This comment is directed at people such as Shriley and others who believe that interracial dating and marriages contravene the will of God. If we strictly interpret the Tower of Babel event, God set language boundaries. It was changed to race boundaries due to convenience by white Americans because they are a product of a mixture of language groups, into one entity called white. However, looked at it from any point of view, God did not intend the language groups to mix as per the Old Testament..hence the literal interpretation suggests that by mixing groups such as German and English into one entity called white, the white Americans are product of sin, and this most likely includes Shirley and others who now find it convenient to say that God opposes interracial dating and marriages.

By G. Chell

October 26, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

People such as Sharon and Paul are the reasons why immigration is good for America. People here in Northern Virginia had the same mindset in the early 1970s. However, with the influx of immigrants whites and blacks were forced to change their views. The other whites or the bitter enders as I call them fled to whiter areas, but many returned to Northern Virginia because there were not many jobs in places like Danville and Lynchburg. Race is an American invention.

By Lorrie

October 26, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

Yes, I have something to say on the matter of interracial dating—WHO CARES! Happy dating!!!!

By Randy

October 26, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

I agree with what has been said by many here, what’s more important is marrying someone who has your same core beliefs and morals. Christian women need to marry Chrisitan men.

By lovelyliz

October 26, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Remember what Chris Rock said:

See, it don’t make no sense to hate nobody

It don’t make no sense to be a racist, sexist, or nothing, but…It don’t

It doesn’t

It don’t make no sense

‘cause whoever you hate will end up in your family.

By the bangles

October 26, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

“A two year old girl was circumcised? Interesting, I’ve never heard of a little girl born with foreskin.”

check out ajc’s home page it is on there. Horrible story. man should be shot in his weewee.

By they call me chacha

October 26, 2006 12:56 PM | Link to this

I am more open to the idea of my son dating outside our race than my daughter. Don’t know why but I am. I don’t really know if I would be cool with her marring outside our race and certainly not our faith. my son, as long as she is a christian and can cook and clean, marry away baby.

By By me

October 26, 2006 02:25 PM | Link to this

I always say to my children: marry for love and know that the rest of you life will be a compromise (regardless of culture, religion and financial status). I believe that a family members that come from different cultures, religions and financial backgrounds have to compromise more and have to be more open to life’s differences. Race does not matter. What matters is the culture you live in. I am from Lithuania. My parents would not say anything if i were to marry a black guy, but my mother mentioned multiple times that she would not approve me marrying anyone from Poland (Poland and Lithuania shared a common wealth 100 of years ago, but then history between two countries went very sober). As God is a wittness, i did just that. As lovelyliz cited: whomever you hate will end up in your house…

By B. Killebrew

October 26, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this

When Africans sold other Africans as slaves, it was almost entirely Africans from other nations. African nations would sell citizens from enemy nations that were war captives, etc. The Africans of the various West African nations did not see themselves as the same “people”; just like the various nations (French, German, Sicilian, Latvian, Basque, Slovenian, etc.) of Europe. The white, European Castilians would have sold the white, European Basques as slaves in a heartbeat!

By Elane

October 30, 2006 08:47 AM | Link to this

“Dating outside the race” isn’t the issue, as I see it. What I do see, often, and especially in ATL, is the following: a white girl who is either overweight or poorly groomed, or both, who very clearly lacks self-esteem, hooks up with the most “gangsta”-looking black male she can find. He treats her like absolute dirt and usually gets her pregnant. She has the baby and keeps it, while he runs off somewhere. I can’t tell whether this choice of partners is a desire to defy parents’ wishes (because the girl’s parents are more often than not quite prejudiced), or to find the person who’s most likely to mistreat her, due to her own self-image. Or is it both? Take away that factor, and I have no problem with interractial relationships.

By AY

October 30, 2006 04:02 PM | Link to this

I have never told my sons that they cannot date outside of their race, but hope that they do not. I can’t stop them nor will I try. I will respect their decision and accept it.

Personally, I have never dated a man outside of my race and have no intentions of doing so. All of my friends feel the same as I do.

I am a AA woman and yes, at times it bothers me when AA men only date white women. The reason it bothers me is because they use excuses to exclude AA women, such as: they are loud, uneducated, too demanding, materialistic, gold-digger, mean, and the list could go on.

There are plenty of women of all races who could be any or all of the above, it does not just belong to AA women exclusively. That is stereotyping and just plain wrong. You cannot determine that everyone from a certain group is the same just because a few were that way.

It would not bother me if a AA man dates/marries a white woman and she just happens to be the woman he fell in love with. But, to put down AA women to justify dating a woman from another race is where the issue is.