MOMania

By RissaMom

September 26, 2006 08:19 AM | Link to this

I work for a local county government. I love my job and my boss, however the overall work environment isn’t family-friendly. There is no maternity leave for female employees (we have to cobble our maternity leave through sick or annual leave) or take unpaid leave via FMLA. Although we live and work in one of the most congested area in metro Atlanta, we no longer offer telecommuting as an option. Most supervisors realize that us working moms have to take time off when our children are sick (as a divorced, working single mother with no immediate family around here)but i stay available via phone and email. and yet, sometimes i feel that it is unappreciated. i love what i do and is avialble often after hours to respond to company needs yet the feeling is often unreciprocated. it is quite frustrating.

By RissaMom

September 26, 2006 08:21 AM | Link to this

I work for a local county government. I love my job and my boss, however the overall work environment isn’t family-friendly. There is no maternity leave for female employees (we have to cobble our maternity leave through sick or annual leave) or take unpaid leave via FMLA. Although we live and work in one of the most congested area in metro Atlanta, we no longer offer telecommuting as an option. Most supervisors realize that us working moms have to take time off when our children are sick (as a divorced, working single mother with no immediate family around here)but i stay available via phone and email. and yet, sometimes i feel that it is unappreciated. i love what i do and is avialble often after hours to respond to company needs yet the feeling is often unreciprocated. it is quite frustrating.

By RissaMom

September 26, 2006 08:22 AM | Link to this

I work for a local county government. I love my job and my boss, however the overall work environment isn’t family-friendly. There is no maternity leave for female employees (we have to cobble our maternity leave through sick or annual leave) or take unpaid leave via FMLA. Although we live and work in one of the most congested area in metro Atlanta, we no longer offer telecommuting as an option. Most supervisors realize that us working moms have to take time off when our children are sick (as a divorced, working single mother with no immediate family around here)but i stay available via phone and email. and yet, sometimes i feel that it is unappreciated. i love what i do and is avialble often after hours to respond to company needs yet the feeling is often unreciprocated. it is quite frustrating.

By Brian Curtis

September 26, 2006 08:26 AM | Link to this

Thankfully, NO, My company is not “mother friendly”… and a good thing, too. I’ve got plenty to do without covering for someone else’s job too.

Now, if you want a realistic accommodation of people’s work/life demands, you could push for a WORKER-friendly company: one that treats all employees equally and recognizes that we ALL have obligations and responsibilities outside the office. But a “mother-friendly” company? Heck no, what a terrible idea.

Interesting side note that “we need women to have babies.” Really? I hadn’t noticed that we were running out of people on this little planet of ours. And I could’ve sworn that there are still a few kids in foster homes and orphanages… so where is this dreadful dearth of babies we’re hearing about?

By stayinvolved

September 26, 2006 08:43 AM | Link to this

Fortunately my position is one that is mother friendly which means that my boss is flexible so I can work from home and work in the middle of the night etc. to make sure I get the work done. My employer ends up getting quite a few extra hours from me than if I were tied to my desk. And I can pick my child up from school, go on field trips, have lunch with him etc. Not every position can be worked from home so they offer flex schedules such as 4 day weeks/9 hour days with every other Fri. off. I also do not have maternity leave but am given 3 wks sick & 3 wks vacation a year so that works for me.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

I’m with Brian on the worker-friendly concept; I don’t have children to care for, but I do have aging parents. Co-workers expect me to cover for them when their kid is sick, but if I need time off for any personal reason, God forbid. They won’t cover for me. I have been tapped to work weekends and holidays because I “don’t have a family”. The examples are endless.

More companies should institute flextime, there’s very little reason not to do that, except that people in charge are generally men, who rely on women to take care of family responsibilities. Why the heck we all have to fight traffic and sit in the same place from 9-5 like little drones escapes me.

By Not A Mom

September 26, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this

I am a woman who chose not to have children, but I do have a life outside of the office. Why should mothers get extra flexibility in their jobs that I don’t? Personally I feel that ALL employees should have some flexibility in their hours, no matter what their family situation may be. We all have things we need to do outside of work. Not just moms.

By stayinvolved

September 26, 2006 09:07 AM | Link to this

At my company your schedule and flexibility with hours is not determined by your gender but by your position and business needs.

Sorry NoKidz, sounds like you work with some terribly selfish people. I recently had to balance work, motherhood and caring for a dying parent. Could not have done it without the help and support of my coworkers.

By eric martin

September 26, 2006 09:16 AM | Link to this

clearly home depot is not mom friendly, waking my wife up at 5:30 am today was not cool.

September 26, 2006

Deborah Platt Majoras Federal Trade Commission 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Washington, DC 20580

Robert Hardelli 2455 Paces Ferry Road NW Atlanta, GA 30339 Sent via Fax 770-431-2685

Re: Complaint on Home Depot for calling us at 5:33 am on 9/26/06

At 5:33 am (eastern time) on September 26, 2006, we received a call at our home phone number (770-667-0505) from Home Depot (number 770-831-5005) asking for Donald. I have a serious problem with this.

First, our number is registered with National Do Not Call Registry and we pay a fee with Bell South to block any solicitation. I thought there were rules/laws against a business calling a number that was registered with the FTC Do Not Call Registry.

Second, the fact that anyone would call a residential number at 5:30 am is completely out of line. We have a 2 and 5 year old and value what little sleep we get.

Third, the person the Home Depot is unknown. We do not know a “Donald” and have no idea why Home Depot would be calling us. Matter of fact, we do not even shop at Home Depot because of their poor service and prefer Lowes.

I am requesting that immediate action be taken by both the FTC and Home Depot to resolve what I would classify as harassing tactics and a complete miss use of phone solicitation.

Eric Martin

By Pat Weaver

September 26, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this

Re Brian’s rant: Get real. It would be lovely, in a perfect world, if men felt the need to equally share responsibility for sick kids, kids’ dental appointments, school conferences and other endless kid-related stuff that requires moms to take off time from the workplace. Very few do. But most don’t - and the men who run corporate America continue to assume it’s mom’s job to cover this ground, and thus, it remains her de facto responsibility. Until that changes, women will always have to take more time out of the office than their male counterparts. If Brian’s had to occasionally “cover” for female co-workers who were trying to keep their families afloat, well boo hoo. There may indeed, be some women who may abuse the dubious “privilege” of getting to juggle work and family and enjoy the crazed pressure cooker that lifestyle creates. They are a small minority.

And when you consider things like getting more for doing the same work, being top-of-mind for raises and promotions, and having no “glass ceiling,” males do get a few perks to compensate them for the trials they must endure when Employee Jane must run take little Johnny to the pediatrician - especially those dads who have absolutely no intention of being the one who has to take their own “little Johnnys” to such appointments.

As for not needing babies - true, the third world - and our own poverty class - is popping out babies with gusto. But do you really think these teaming hordes will be the ones who create the next wave of new technologies, find cures for society’s ills, or even just have the means to consume the new high-end products of the future? No - those will be the children of the educated class…most of whom will, of necessity, come from families where moms must work.

When men and women share as equally as possible in child-related responsibilities (because women conceive and give birth, nature has ensured the load can never be truly “equal”) - then I’ll agree - companies should strive for a truly “worker friendly” environment where we all take care of our children. Unfortunately, until then, giving worn-out moms a break or two is more than most are willing to do.

By lovelyliz

September 26, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

I worked for a company that was parent friendly, but was so at the expense of the singles.

Singles were always the first ones asked to work late. For company events, the parents were given extra time off and the singles remained behind. Parents were allowed to work flexible hours while the others had a more rigid schedule. Clearly the personal life of singles just didn’t matter as much.

In a conversation I had with some coworker about this subject, the answer was for me to get married and have kids.

I wish this had been an isolated incident, but unfortunately it was not.

I would like to see companies have more flexibility period, but it should never come for one group of workers at the expense of another.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 09:23 AM | Link to this

I think it just depends on your job and where you work. I took my time finding a job. I was part time after only two weeks of maternity leave but was able to bring the baby with me. I am able to leave when I have a sick child (those are my sick days) and can even bring them to the office depending on the symptoms. Every one in my office has kids but I am the only woman. The guys here appreciate what I do and are very willing to work with me. We have a family first policy here as long as it is not abused. By the end of 2008 I will be opening my own store and we too will have a family first policy.

In todays world it has become almost necesary to have to incomes. But our children shouldn’t suffer for it. I do not think it should be gender based though as there are more and more households with “reverse roles” where mom is the “bread winner” and dad works for “a little extra”.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 09:28 AM | Link to this

I’m not so sure my co-workers are selfish, just self absorbed in their kids.

That isn’t such a bad thing in itself; people who have children and then don’t instinctively place them at the center of the universe are sick, sick people. They don’t need to have children in the first place, and such a worldview is both necessary and normal. And wonderful to see!

The problem arises when parents fail to realize that their parenting instinct will inevitably clash with the outer world, and refuse to make sacrifices (i.e. working in a more flexible job, or not working, or God forbid, getting the other parent to help raise the kid) that seem to be inherent with having children. That’s when other people get screwed over.

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

I work for bosses that are compassionate about personal situations, not just children. Not only that, in time of need, regardless of how you view someone else, everyone is there to help you, just like family, or more than family in some cases.

By stayinvolved

September 26, 2006 09:35 AM | Link to this

Eric, find another blog…your over reaction to a wrong number has nothing to do with the topic and you obviously have too much time on your hands.

By Atlantaguy

September 26, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

Are you serious? Mother friendly? Its a friggin job…your kids are your personal life and choice…they have nothing to do with work. Kids are no more a valid excuse for missing work or getting special hours than just choosing to lay out. If you need to leave early because of your kid…fine, but take half a day vacation…can’t work the hours of the job because of your kid…fine…find antoher job. What has the PC world friggin come to? What happened to personal responsibility and not being accomidated by the world?

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

pat you are exactly right. Co-worker bob doesn’t take his little johnny to the dentist or doctor. No his wife leaves her job to that. It is such a double standard. Many men today expect women to contribute and income. No biggy, except we are STILL demanded to be the sole caregivers to the fruit of his loins. I constantly fought with my hubby about this to the point that I quit my job. I told him he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too. I work part time now but the money I make is my spending money. And you can bet he hasn’t complained about helping with doctor duty since then!

By Atlantaguy

September 26, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

Are you serious? Mother friendly? Its a friggin job…your kids are your personal life and choice…they have nothing to do with work. Kids are no more a valid excuse for missing work or getting special hours than just choosing to lay out. If you need to leave early because of your kid…fine, but take half a day vacation…can’t work the hours of the job because of your kid…fine…find antoher job. What has the PC world friggin come to? What happened to personal responsibility and not being accomidated by the world?

By Childfree

September 26, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

I agree with Brian. I get tired of all the moms coming and going as they please, leaving those of us without kids to cover their work.

By Childfree

September 26, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

I agree with Brian. I get tired of all the moms coming and going as they please, leaving those of us without kids to cover their work.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

If you have kids with men who refuse to share domestic responsibility, then that’s your problem, not your co-workers.

You need to either check out potential sperm donors a little more, or put your foot down and quit being a doormat.

Good for you BellaMomma! Don’t shift crap onto your co-workers, go to the root of the problem…the guy who wants you to do the childcare plus work the same hours he does.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

atlanta guy just so you know alot of times when your co-workers with kids leave early that does come out of their sick or vacation time. Mine always did, because it was only fair.

i have never seen a single person say “I need to go to the doctor” or “my mom is sick I need a couple of days off” and been told no. The fact is most companies do offer the same type flexibility to everyone. you just have to ask. If you are valuble to the company they will do what it takes to work with you. If not, find another job! Oh, but “Fluffy/Fido has a cold” is not really a valid excuse.

At my old job we had singles leave early to “catch up on some sleep” or get their hair done etc. No one cares as long as it comes out of your sick time buddy! And I have noticed that people with out kids call in on Mondays a whole lot more often than parents.

By Temp

September 26, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

I swear, there is nothing more selfish or self absorbed than a woman who has pushed a squalling brat out between her legs. Everyone and everything should cater to you and the needs of your hideous little spawn. If you want the kids, don’t complain when I make more than you and get treated better than you by the company. I’m actually at my job every day and productive, unlike the women who decide that they can work part time but think they should be paid full time.

By Rosie

September 26, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

My company is very accommodating to the higher ups - three months paid maturnity leave, while staff only gets six weeks, and no leave for those of us who have adopted children. You would think with all the expenses involved in adoption that companies would at least offer some paid leave but most don’t - they offer family medical leave WHICH IS UNPAID TIME OFF! And they don’t offer staff part time, but they do offer it to upper management. At least make it equal.

By Temp

September 26, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

I swear, there is nothing more selfish or self absorbed than a woman who has pushed a squalling brat out between her legs. Everyone and everything should cater to you and the needs of your hideous little spawn. If you want the kids, don’t complain when I make more than you and get treated better than you by the company. I’m actually at my job every day and productive, unlike the women who decide that they can work part time but think they should be paid full time.

By mommyto2

September 26, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

How you spend your sick time is up to you. parents generally use theirs on the little ones.

when I worked I did leave early every day but I wasn’t paid for it. I made it clear that I needed that schedule and my boss agreed to it before I was ever hired. And when I quit, I stayed on part time for a month and a half to train my replacement.

if you don’t like the way your company is run, go start your own.But don’t hire ANYONE with kids!

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

Temp: you too were someones hideous spawn once. Go screw yourself so we don’t have anymore of you! This is a parents blog dealing with parental topics. I am able to appreciate the non parents who offer a different view but DON’T insult I.E. “noKidz”.

I am sure there are some moms who do the things that you all are saying, but there are a lot who don’t and at the end of the day like someone else said “if you don’t like they way the company is run, start your own” because it is really up to the boss as to what the policy will be.

By AtlMom

September 26, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Why are there so many “mommy” haters out there? Wow - did I really read: “…nothin more selfish that a woman who has pushed a squalling brat out between her legs…” What is selfish about that? That is one of the cruelest things I have ever read. Being a Mom, whether you have given birth to the child or adopted, is the most selfless act you will ever live. Clearly, you must have a poor relationship with your Mom, Temp. Sorry for that.

Let it be noted, I work full time, I am a mother to a wonderful 2 year old and when I have to work from home because my child is sick, I actually WORK. No one else has to cover me, but believe me, I cover for many others when they are out.

I am sorry to get off topic, but your rant, Temp, was cruel and way off base. I am sorry you live such a sad life.

By Childfree

September 26, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

@ mommyto2: Oh, if only it were that easy. Haven’t you heard of the federal laws in place barring discrimination in the workplace? Employers are not legally allowed to ask in interviews if a candidate had children, and they’re not allowed to not hire someone based on whether they have children.

By Childfree

September 26, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

I agree with Brian. I get tired of all the moms coming and going as they please, leaving those of us without kids to cover their work.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

Rosie, that sucks! You totally should get maternity leave when you adopt! That is so sad.

I have been reading a lot about mom’s starting their own business and we are really starting to take over the small business world. In my town there are almost more mom’s who own companies than men! it is awesome to see. I think family (all types not just kids) needs to become the focus of our society. The changes would be amazing!

NoKidz, I agree that people shouldn’t have kids of the kid is not going to be the center of THEIR universe. I hardly expect anyone else to revolve around my babies!

By mechelle

September 26, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

It is always mommy who does the bulk of the work, in the parenting, the marriage, hell at work. Men are so, so, self centered. And, unfortunately, they make the most money. And, many of their wives are at home with little becky and rusty. While the real working moms multi task, and work, take care of home, do after school activities, and still find the time to have sex with these useless bums

By Workingmotherof6

September 26, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

Pat Weaver, I was with you until “and our own poverty class - is popping out babies with gusto. But do you really think these teaming hordes will be the ones who create the next wave of new technologies, find cures for society’s ills, or even just have the means to consume the new high-end products of the future? No - those will be the children of the educated class…most of whom will, of necessity, come from families where moms must work”.

How ignorant. Who are you to say which children will accomplish what? How cynical of you. I bet you drive around with a fish on the back of your car too.

Anyway, workers should be cognizant of their family and/or personal responsibilities when choosing a position. I don’t think it’s fair to expect a company to continuously extend courtesies because of an employee’s personal circumstances if it impedes on the productivity of the company or becomes a burden to other co-workers. Situations beyond our control are going to arise. In those cases it is prudent for an employee to review and accommodate the needs of its most valued employees. But this is not something everyone in every position should expect. Having a family is a choice that most working mother’s make knowing full well of the culture of the work environment. We need to make this decision responsibly. If you happen to work for a company that is family/mom friendly, that is great! But if your company is not and does not offer flextime or work from home opportunities, you should look for a job that does or try to build up your support network (family, friend, church members and co-workers) that may be able to help out when the need arises. I must say in this economy where two incomes rule, companies would be wise to implement policies that would allow as many positions as possible the opportunity to telecommute and/or flextime. I also think the state should reward and offer incentives to companies that do this at an exceptional rate.

By lovely

September 26, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

The comments being made are indictive of what our nation has become. We are so quick to “put the job” first is it any wonder we are so screwed up. We put mom and dad in a home at the first sign of forgetfulness. We put our spouse after the job, the hobby, the kids etc. on our list of priorities and the we think buying Johnny that new bike, video game or car (which is why mom and dad are both working)is more important than being at his little league game.

By lovely

September 26, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

childfree: that was called sarcasim. I am afraid that parents who work out number the childless who work so that really wouldn’t work anyway! And yes I realize that but I also know that many companies ask those questions “just to get to know you” and you would have a difficult time proving that is why you didn’t get the job.

By William

September 26, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

U.S. citizens are the first to b*** about plant closings and outsourcing. But who can really blame upper management for making those decisions in a U.S. market as soft as it is now? We are spoiled and have a self-centered value system, from unrealistic union salary mandates to costly support of female employees who opt to give birth and then expect the company to step up and provide all of the answers to the demands of child bearing. If you want to work, work, if you are going to have children , have children. And if you are going try to do both, good luck!, but expect conflicts and compromise. Mother Friendly?

By William

September 26, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

U.S. citizens are the first to b*** about plant closings and outsourcing. But who can really blame upper management for making those decisions in a U.S. market as soft as it is now? We are spoiled and have a self-centered value system, from unrealistic union salary mandates to costly support of female employees who opt to give birth and then expect the company to step up and provide all of the answers to the demands of child bearing. If you want to work, work, if you are going to have children , have children. And if you are going try to do both, good luck!, but expect conflicts and compromise. Mother Friendly?

By mommyto2

September 26, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

childfree i was kidding! Jeesh!

Mechelle you are too funny!

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this

Pat Weaver is right…if a culture only values women (and girls) for their ability to breed, that’s at least 50% of the population that’s not going to be creating the next new wave of technology.

And yes, I have a fish on the back of my car. But he’s being eaten by the Flying Spagetti Monster.

By abc

September 26, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

Hm, how about pet owner friendly companies?

By Atlantaguy

September 26, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

OK…lemme throw this out there…single guy request a Friday off because he wants to go skiing. Same Friday a Mom asks off because her child has a school event. Only one can be off…who gets it?

By blogbully

September 26, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this

this is a hot topic!! Mommies verses Childless people! Ok the Childless People will say some nasty things and really hurt the Mommies feelings but Ultimately my money is on the Mommies. Have you ever watched animal planet? Wow!

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

I feel that there are a lot of insensitive people that have read this article. In our society today it’s hard enough to raise a child with moral values, and unfortunately the expenses to have a healthy and happy homelife involve both parents working. For those of you that CHOSE to not have kids or DON’T have kids, then you have no idea what it’s like to work and try to raise kids. How would you like us to all quit work and live off your taxes, I guess we could do that. I don’t see what the problem is with giving people time to care for and raise their children as long as their job gets done. I work for a wonderful company that takes each individual situation differently and we have the technology today that we can work from home and no-one has to pick up our slack. Never doubt a women, we’ll get it done!!!!!

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

NoKidz I want to thank you. You are really contributing a different view to this blog in a very constructive way and I personally will take what you have said into consideration, should I ever be employed by a less family oriented company! I also completely agree with what you have said about the “breeder” mindset. As a mother to two girls and a boy I insist on teaching them that they are equal in ability.

I do have one question, what is the Flying Spagetti Monster?

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

It is obvious that those protesting about kids do not get heard at work, or do not have the guts to say what they feel at work. My bosses have the guts to say to those that do, if it is not involving you, butt out. You don’t like where you work or their policies, leave. That simple.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

Atlanta Guy~ Who asked first? That is only fair!

By william

September 26, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

How about jogger friendly companies? I choose to jog for exercise. Maybe I should ask my boss to allow me to take 3 afternoons a week off so that I can jog. They should provide me my shoes and singlets. If I get hurt jogging, I will ask, no I will demand that my boss pay my salary as well as any medical expenses I incur. While they do that I will expect them to be encouraging and supportive and if they are not I will report them to some obscure government agency. Jogmania unite!

By stayinvolved

September 26, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

Single Guy will get the day off because if he was a good worker he requested the day off in advance when he planned his trip and Mom will take a stack of work with her and work from home and everyone will hold hands and sing Kumbaya Monday morning. But that is only if Mr. Big Boss decides not to have a few cocktails during his 3 hour lunch and skip the rest of the day and go play golf with Mr. Big Little Boss.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

Babygirl you have an awesome point. It is between the employee and the boss. Co-workers do have that right to chose what is an acceptable reason to miss work. Applause for your boss and you!

By scv

September 26, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this

My employer, a large bank based in Charlotte (narrows it down some!), is incredibly WORKER friendly. So all these folks complaining that mothers get all the perks would get a fair shake here. There is maternity leave of 6 weeks, otherwise known as Short Term Disability (which all workers qualify for). If there is a C-section, then you get 2 more weeks seeing as it is a major surgery. Every employee gets 10 days a year that doesn’t carry over as Family Care Time. If your kid, spouse, partner, parent, etc is sick or even just has a doctor’s appointment, then you use this time and not vacation time to attend to the issue. Also, everyone gets 4 hours a month of community involvement time. This can be used for parents who want to attend whatever event at school or even just have lunch a few times a month with their kid, and the time is also for any volunteer work one wants to perform. So every employee has access to these benefits.

When we were transferred here for my husband’s job, they bent over backwards for me to set up and work remote, a situation that has worked very well for 3 years now. And I still am fairly compensated.

As for picking up the slack when parents are out for whatever reason, that’s not really a huge issue in our group. And we find that the working mothers are more efficient when they are here and it all evens out. Many (not all!) of the fathers whose wives are all home spend amazing amounts of time shooting the $$$$ and staying late for face time without getting as much done, because they have no need to hurry home and take care of any household issues. So I’ll put my 8 hours a day against some of these other guys’ 9 or 10 hours any time. (And for those nosy, I’m writing this while on a conference call)

Just as most times when one changes jobs/companies, I could easily jump ship and get another $15-20k a year but my company’s benefits and employee focus has earned my loyalty, and that is just what they are banking on.

By Pat Weaver

September 26, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

It is amazing, isn’t it, to see how this subject just brings out the venom in people. Women, particularly, are so hard on each other, and judgemental of the choices other women make. I say, “walk a mile in their shoes.” Yes, when I was single and “child free”, I’m sure I probably resented the occasional times when a mom would “get” to leave early to take care of a pressing family problem. What I didn’t understand in those days was the price - sometimes in money, sometimes in stress, sometimes in prestige and promotion opportunities - that she paid for that “privilege.” I didn’t know, nor did I care. So I’m not surprised or offended that many the single folks here feel the same. I get it…but I AM surprised by the level of rage many obviously feel.

If a single person is denied leave to take care of important medical or family issues, they aren’t being treated fairly either. And clearly, if someone continually creates more work for other staff without making up for it, that is a particular personnel problem that should be addressed by a manager. But if you’re ticked that you didn’t get to take off early Friday for Cabo because your co-worker’s kid had a 104 degree fever, sorry, I don’t feel your pain.

It’s astonishing, too to see how people leap to judgements about others on OTHER topics, based on how they feel on one specific topic…they draw an entire “picture in their heads” of who and what that person is and believes. What’s with the “fish on your car” deal? It’s humorous - I’m the last person you’d see with one - but would having one disqualify me from having a valid opinion? It’s also completely non-related. I’m merely pointing out that people who have many children indiscriminately - without considering consequences - almost always aren’t able to provide them tools for the future to help them be productive citizens. Of course there are exceptions. But let’s not pretend that they’re NOT exceptions. There will always be (thank god) kids who rise above their circumstances. And the “fish” comment was a fairly broad slander: I know thoughtful, intelligent people who have them, and boorish, closed-minded bigots who do too. Both call themselves “Christians,” so, let’s not bring religion into this. My whole point was this: right now, and until things change, working moms need a break now and then, not just for personal, “selfish” reasons, but so the next generation of people/citizens/consumers will be, hopefully, not completely screwed-up. Ond day, hopefully soon, men will share more in that burden. Then and only then, will businesses feel the need to provide that same kind of flexibility to all.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

You’re welcome, bellamomma. I try to put my point across in a constructive way. However, there are folks like “insensitive people” who think that…well, I’m being insensitive. Their own insensitivity towards co-workers is sitting like a beam in their eye. I had a mom who worked, and I don’t freak out every time another employee goes to a parent-teacher conference. But to ask me to shoulder the load of raising your kids, instead of asking the other 50% of their gene pool…insensitive. And kids do require sacrifice. The question is, who will do that? I think it should be shared, and that means among co-workers, SOMETIMES.

BTW, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a deity, of sorts. Try a google search, you’ll think it’s hilarious. Unless you’re with the people who backed the Cobb County School Board, and then you’ll be outraged.

By Theresa

September 26, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

Hey guys — You have probably noticed the double postings — we do have a computer glitch — our fantastic team is fixing it now so we should be better the rest of day.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

SCV your job kicks a*! I am jealous!!!

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this

abc…..funny you should say that. I used to work with a company that would allow certain employees time off for their sick dogs and cats, or to take them to the dr. Hell, they’ve even bring them into the office all day. And any time I needed to be out to take my child to the dr. or because she was sick, it was A BIG DEAL!!!!

Now, I work for a more family friendly company, but my co-worker (who by the way has no kids) is a SLACKER!!! She won’t do half the ish she’s supposed to do…I do dang near all the work for our area. So you best to believe, ANY time I NEED to be out for my child, I’M OUT!!! and yes, that time does come out of my PTO, but it’s supposed to!!!

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

To jogger-I really feel bad for you. Why are you so unhappy. Obviously you don’t have children of your own, so you should have plenty of time to get out there and take a lap or two. Those of you who work places where your mommies in the office are coming and going so much maybe ya’ll should find a new job. I work in an office with 40 women, over half of whom are mothers and to be honest with you we cover each other’s backs if needed and help each other out. I’m glad I work in a FRIENDLY!!!! environment. I’d hate to know that if my son was sick I would need to go in so SOMEONE won’t harbor such anger at having to do my job.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

ok I am totally going to have to go pray after saying this but that is really funny. Ahhh I am so going to be punished for that one!

By stayinvolved

September 26, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

Sexione you bring up a great point. I dread the days I go into the office because of all the slackers that just want to stand around and drink coffee and visit the candy dishes. I can accomplish my work in 4 hours when it takes them 8. I want to get in and get out so I can get home to my REAL life. Fortunately my boss treats us like grown ups and watches our deadlines and quality of work vs. watching the clock.

Slackers are much more a problem in my workplace than mommies.

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

To NoKidz you are being insensitive, but you can’t help it, until you’re in the position of having a family and having to put your priorities in order you’ll always be insensitive to some subjects. My boss’s wife is able to stay home and raise their 2 kids, so fortunately for us mothers we are appreciated and respected in the work place. If I ever need a new job do the world a favor and post a sign, “PARENTS NOT WELCOME.”

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

the only crappy thing about my job with men was when I was breast feeding (this should get some angry posts) and there wasn’t really any place I could pump. So I sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes three times a day and I had my own cooler(putting breast milk in the break room fridge is just gross). Didn’t feel bad though because the guys do that couple of times a day. Just with a news paper not a breast pump.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

sorry, in sensitive but you are over reacting. All nokidz has asked is not to be abused because she (i am assuming) doesn’t have kids. It is not fair for her to always stay late on holidays with out being compensated. My co-workers always let the mothers leave early on Halloween to get the kids ready for trick or treating. In exchange we always covered for them the day after new years.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

s**! I am the slacker and the mom!

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

southernmommy you’re a riot. I like that one.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

Of course, most of the child-less people are compassion-challenged, they have NO CLUE about parenthood. It’s seems as though until you are a parent (by birth or adoption or happenstance), certain things are just incomprehensible.

By William

September 26, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

The “jogger” has 3 children. Wife stopped working to raise them then went back to work when they started school.

By william

September 26, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

BTW, jogging was used as a metaphor, I’m sorry it went over your head.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

lala…….LOL, u r too funny!!!

By CorporateWatch

September 26, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

If being mother-friendly involves making my wife travel 3 days out of every work week plus not filling vacant positions then her company is not making this list!!!

I am taking care of my 4 year old virtually alone. Corporate American 2006 really s u c k s!

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

it is so not like me to take up for the non-breeders but here I am. A lot of childless people don’t understand what it is like to have responsibilty for anyone other than themselves and Fido. And as some of the other post have shown the can be stupidly mean about it but they aren’t all that way.

By Jen

September 26, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

Well this topic is perfect for my big soap box which is that there are not enough good part time jobs. When will society recognize the completely untapped workforce that is the stay at home mom? Many of these women with school aged children would work if they could get something that paid more that minimum wage and allowed them to use thier brains or education. If better part time options were available then you wouldn’t have women who have to work full time because they have to work, shifting their job duties on to the non-parents so that they can take care of their children’s urgent needs. Any FTE job should be able to be split into two part time jobs and more employers should consider doing it. I am so lucky to have the part time job I do getting paid $23 an hour and working 25 hours per week. If I have to leave early to care for a kid I can make up the work on weekends or an evening. The only thing that would make it better would be if I were able to telecommute. I am the only person with my company who has a job like this (we are a multi state company) so it is too bad, I can’t call my company mom friendly.

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

bellamomma,there’s no over reacting here at all, it’s just frankly responding to something that is obviously more sensitive to those without children. Have ya’ll ever heard of the word “NO”. No-one said you had to pick up the slack for us working mothers who would love to get home and get our kids costumes on (since we’ve gone into Halloween) to get them in bed at a descent time. The company that I work for, let’s everyone leave on holidays early, not just parents. If that’s your companies policy, you might want to look into the discrimination act.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

Thanks! Has anyone else notice how most non-parents are really really bitter,gloomy angry people? I for one am glad they aren’t reproducing. Who needs that thorn in the a*? I will quit talking about my kids poopy diapers if you quit surfing for a Halloween costume for your cat! I am done for today boys and girls. I have to get back to work wink

By CorporateWatch

September 26, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Wife put in over 50 hours of work at office last week alone.

She is expected to travel from VA to TX during the next month to cover territory.

She is also expected to cover 2 other positions due to vacancies.

All this and no 2006 bonus due to ‘poor company financial performance’

PRICELESS. Thanks GWB!

By Been There

September 26, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Quote: The magazine ranks annually the top 100 employers based on five criteria: flexibility, leave time for new parents, child care, elder care and the number of women occupying top jobs. Here’s the story.

Yes, there are needs other than caring for children — and the companies were rated on that, as well.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

NO, how about this one?…

The Slacker is the one that hogs ALL the time off the day before and after holidays. If the holiday is on a Monday, she has already asked for the previous Friday. She has snatched up the day after Thanksgiving, the week of Christmas (when the kids are out of school), and several other “prime” days. I know this could not have happened before I got here because then there would have been no one to do the work. So I’m thinking her greedy, lazy butt did this immediately upon my arrival….even knowing I have a child.

SO HOW’S THAT FOR BEING A NON-MOMMY SLACKER WHO LEAVES ALL THE WORK FOR MOMMY TO DO!!!!! (I’d better take a break…..this is NOT the post office!!!) LOL

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

thank you, thank you very much! (cheesy i know!)

Corporate Watch, gee it sucks to have to juggle a career and a kid. OH, wait now you know how working mothers feel!Sorry if that was mean!

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

oh yes blame the president! that makes since. How about stand up and take responsibility. Quit!!!! Find a new job! Un employment is at a new low so there are other jobs out there slick!

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

A. That was not the company I USED TO WORK FOR’s policy (note the past tense used). We were expected to work unitl 5 regardless, this was just somethinggaspnice we did for each other.

B. Jen you are right. Stay at home moms are an untapped resource and we do need more part time jobs.

Stay at home moms are rapidly becoming a force in small business as OWNERS!

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 11:56 AM | Link to this

In regard to time off on holidays, its who asks first and gets it. I don’t think children at home should be the requirement for christmas. I have been in my job 28 years and have worked my share so I ask off and don’t give it another thought. First come first serve

By scv

September 26, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this

southernmommy yes, it is a lucky situation. my company has been on the top 100 list for a few years now. and just for you, concerning your BF story, though our bigger corporate buildings have a “mothers room,” the small building where I am has no real option except for a few vacant offices with no locks. I found out that I got 2oz more each time using the adapter in my car vs the outlet in the office. So I spent those 20min 3x a day in my car in the corner of the parking lot to be more efficient. Problem was it drained my car battery as the end result and there went $100. Fun while it lasted.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this

sexione~here’s what you do. When the little twit leaves early or is even in the bathroom, get on her computer and send an email to the boss with a few choice words. the google for some porn and you should be clear of her soon! (this is only a joke and may or maynot work)

ps watch for cameras!

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

haha! my pump didn’t have a car adapter! Boo! Of course my bathroom (again I am the only woman here) didn’t have an outlet either so for the first few weeks I used…. an extension cord. Boss finally stopped laughing and had an outlet installed! I really do love my job!

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

babygirl……it’s also about TEAMWORK!!!

My thing is, DON’T grin in my face like we are such a great team, and you know yo azz don’t do 1/8 of the work. DON’T grin in my face, and then hog up all the resources like you’re the only one in the damn dept. DON’T grin in my face, knowing you’re being a greedy *itch, and expect me to GRIN back, when you’re constantly being inconsiderate. I know that it’s first come, first serve. But I also know there are plenty of thoughtful people who will say, wait, I don’t just have to have that day, I was just taking it so I could spend the holidays with my DOGS!!! And it is done even in some other groups within this very same department right now!!!!

HELL, IT SHOULD BE THAT THE PERSON/PEOPLE THAT DO THE MAJORITY OF THE WORK GET FIRST PICK!!!!

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

lala….now that’s not a bad idea. The only problem - the Slacker is buddy, buddy with the boss. Hell, how else could she get away with being “the Slacker”?

On a much brighter note….that’s all about to change. There’s a new sheriff in town, and he’s not interested in all these little “cliques” and “friendships”. I can hardly wait for things to change.

By grown children

September 26, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this

stayinvolved. please send me your company’s name and email address, so that I can send them my resume!!!!!! Sounds as though you work for a wonderful company.

I agree with ATLmom and southernmommy. That “Temp” person has a sad life. I really fill sorry for that person.

By mykidsdad

September 26, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

It seems that childless adults have a huge misconception about parenting. When a mom or dad has to leave work, it’s not always for soccer games, doctor visits and ballet recitals.

Parenting is a second job. Parents, especially with younger children, do not go home, crack open a beer and turn on the TV while the kids take care of themselves. They tend to nearly all their kids needs until the kids fall asleep. All this while trying to deal with any meltdowns, tantrums, misbehaving and general chaos that ensues until bedtime. Maybe then do parents get a break. But by then they’re just too tired to do anything except crawl into bed before starting all over at 6 a.m the next morning. And yet, there are some childless adults who call parents “selfish.”

If a childless adult saw what their parent co-workers had to deal with the minute they left the office, they might have a clearer picture of what it’s like to be a parent. That or they’d be really scared into never having kids.

By the way, ask any parent and they’ll tell you, despite the stress they go through, that having kids is the most amazing thing in the world, and all the trouble is worth it.

By SingleMom of 2

September 26, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

Wow! This subject has really hit home with many people. Ok I am a single mother of two children. (ages 3 and 4 1/2 yrs old). My youngest has Cerebal Palsy. I have lost two jobs in the past because I have had to miss days for him. I see some of you say not to work if you have that problem well gee lets see. If I don’t at least try to keep a job then I can’t support them at all. Lord knows their daddy isn’t going to do it. I don’t expect any special hours or special days I just expect to be treated fairly. If someone has to cover my shift then I am more than willing to repay the favor and do the same. And as far as MOST of the men that are blogging on here need to get a grip. Because you complain about women missing work but yet you are steady getting us pregnant. And I feel that ALL parents of small children, whether you are single or married need certain time off to take care of things but for the most part try to make it know ahead of time so that your shift is taken care of without putting it in someone elses hands. AND FOR THE PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS ON HERE THAT ARE COMPLAING WELL SOMETIME YOU KNOW US PARENTS DO HAVE THINGS IN OUR LIFE THAT ARE UNEXPECTED. OH ITS CALLED LIFE SO I AM PRETTY SURE YOU DO TO. YOU DONT SEE US COMPLAINING TO COVER FOR YOU…. ANYHOW EVERYONE HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!! STOP ALL THE HATING…

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

AND on another bright note…..everybody knows she’s a SLACKER. Every one in the department knows, other depts. constantly praise ME for always taking care of them. And the bosses know as well, and you better believe it is being noted. She’s making herself look bad, and I don’t have to say or do anything (but my job, which I am paid to do anyway).

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

Its been my expereience that when someone is tooting their own horn, saying they do all the work, they really don’t. Those who work hard, usually keep their mouth shut, cause they don’t have time.

By Eric

September 26, 2006 01:07 PM | Link to this

Fortunately my wife works for a company based on California, where they actually treat women like human beings. With few exceptions (like Turner, Aflac, etc) Georgia companies treat women like second class citizens.

ALL Americas work too hard for too little anyway. Europeans are JUST as productive, but get more quality time off than Americans. We’ve been brainwashed into thinking working more is working smarter.

By Stinky Sullivan

September 26, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

You know 2 words for this blog…BIRTH CONTROL. See when I get with a woman i make DAMN sure she is on the pill. That way, I can hit it and quit it and get the hell on!

But then again, if you have seen how good-looking I am, you would understand why so many women would want me to be their “babydaddy.”

Winks at the ladies, sS

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

Quick sexione, check your slackers computer and see if she is really….BABYGIRL!

singlemomof2~wow. I am truly sorry you are having a hard time catching a much deserved break. May God bless you and your Little ones!

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

dear Stinky, This is not a singles chat line. Get a grip. How old are the women you’re hitting, 16, ya know that’s a felony. No women in her right mind would waste her time on you.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

oh hell no! Stinky you need to take that and shove it babe! No one hear is looking to you for that.

P.S. Birth control does not protect against HIV, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Something you may want to keep in mind. I am assuming the only play you can get is if you pay so this is really a concern! and if you were to acidentally get a chick pregnant she would never admitt it out of shear humiliation. you are the reason they have made the morning after pill OTC

By frank123

September 26, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this

I’m an attorney an I can come and go as I please as long as the work gets done. My lawfirm prohibits work being done when my kids are in the office. This includes the time I work on weekends. They also want the kid’s visit to be brief. Therefore we keep a very low profile when I am here on weekends with the kids. I don’t want work part time. I just want to be able to have the kids in my office while I work away.

I can see Temp’s bitterness since Temp wants a full time job, but at least Temp has a job due to others that are allowed to kick back with their kids. One day Temp will be full time and will hopefully less bitter.

By kizz

September 26, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this

To mister Stinky: With a name like that, I’m pretty surprised that you can find any woman who would want to be with you. I’m pretty sure that these women that you mess with may want you for a baby-daddy, until they find out what a pr**k you are as a person. “Hit it and quit it”????? I guess the next blog will be about how you need to get medication for the STD that you caught while hop-scotchin from woman to woman. I’m praying that you don’t have any boys that you are teaching to think that way about women. That would be a different discussion other then parents at the work-place.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

cringe

By blogbully

September 26, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

I just threw up a little

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

single mom of two~ with creeps like stinky out there i really am sorry you are having to deal with dating and you other sruggles.

By By me

September 26, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

Wow. Lot’s of heat here. Personally, I would like to see more companies providing child care. Parents can save a lot of time by not having to drive the child in the morning/evening. It is nice to walk out of the job and be able to pick up the child in just a few minutes. As for other policies, i am against them, unless you agree to work 50% and get 50% of a paycheck. I think when people have children, they have to make one of the follwoing decisions: 1. Mom works, dad watches kids. 2. Dad works, mom watches kids. 3. Mom and dad works, nanny watches kids.

A lot of women complain about child doctor appointments, after school activites, etc. Why not hire a nanny to do so? The money that you make at work will pay for it. And remember, nanies can stay with sick kids at home too while mommy and daddy is at work.

By Stinky Sullivan

September 26, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

To all hatin’ on SS, Ya’ll probably all 250 plus porkers who hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful. Seriously, I only get with fine, slender honeys and they know what’s up. Shoot, they looking for some fun too. And all that STD talk…sounds like you been hanging wit some STANK people.

WInks at the ladies,

sS

By 2JsMom

September 26, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

This post has at times been hilarious to me. WHAT company do you all work for where being a parent, just allows all these extra benefits??? Last time I checked at my job, ANYTIME, I had to leave early every minute was coming out of my personal time. And maybe my requests for those days around the holidays OFF were submitted at the BEGINNING of the year because I knew LAST year that the kids would be out of school. I also know that most parents will submit requests for days OFF from work the same as when the children are out of school. SO BOO HOO if you didn’t have the common sense or initiative to submit your request earlier! BTW, a week before Thanksgiving and/or Christmas would not be the best time for submittal. So before you start you sob stories of how ‘parents’ get all the fringe benefits, do some research, you’ll realize that we all get treated the same.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 01:41 PM | Link to this

actually stank, I am a size two and I have never had a problem atracting quality men but that is not the point. You are pathetic.

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

Dear by me 5. Single parents. What’s your answer now???????

By kizz

September 26, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this

To SS: Do you have a hairy chest, wear 50 gold chains, doin the wink-and-a-gun at the “ladies”? Bet you get all of the groovy ladies in your corner… Sounds like you are a blast from the past, who is himself a porker, wishing that he WAS God’s gift to the “ladies”. Don’t sell your self short hon, I’m pretty sure you’re perfectly happy being an “undercover brother”.

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this

Dear BY ME: 5. Single parents. I would love to hear your answer to this one……

By CorporateWatch

September 26, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this

Lala you are an idiot. Hope that wasnt mean.

By singlemom

September 26, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

I work for a VERY family friendly company. It’s a small company, and if I have to leave, anyone can cover my desk if need be, with no attitude. We are a team, and we all help out each other. I am very fortunate with this job, as whenever my child has been sick, or needs to go to the doctor, etc, they tell me to leave - see you tomorrow. Like I said, it’s a very small company and we all help each other as a TEAM!!!!! Oh and Stinky Sullivan - why aren’t you responsible for YOUR OWN birth control - why does your woman/ho have to be on the pill? Why don’t you do us all a favor and get a vasectomy? We certainly don’t need anymore of your type. Irresponsible JERK!!

By By me

September 26, 2006 02:18 PM | Link to this

To all the insensitive people: If you are a single parent (mom/dad):

Single parent works, nanny watches a child.

I know it is not easy, but hey, you made a decision (or it happened to you) TO BE a single parent and thus, you take the responsibility that comes with single parenthood.

You should not be working 80% and getting 100% paycheck just because you are a single parent.

By Cletus

September 26, 2006 02:33 PM | Link to this

If you want to be a mom ok be one,go home and take care of your kids,Please don’t ask me to cover for you any more than you’d be willing to cover for me to play golf.if my wife worked where I do I would expect for her to be treated same as me.We all have to make choices and pay for them, please don’t ask me to pay for your choices.

By To all insensitive people

September 26, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

By Me: I work 110%, I don’t have to take special time off to “god forbid raise my child.” Fortunately, my child is in good health and his other parent offers support if time is needed off. But like I’ve said before I work in a very friendly, team work environment and we help each other out should the occasion arrise. My percentile of work has not been calculated and shouldn’t be because no complaints are ever brought forth. By the way you obviously don’t have any children and ever had to price a nanny, if I could afford a nanny I would just stay home…….

By By Me

September 26, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

And I 100% agree that women should have much longer that 6 weeks maternity leave. This is just insane. I am not asking for a paid leave. Just to have an option to spend a little more time with your newborn and have an option to come back to the same workplace.

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

I don’t think anyone asks for anyone to cover for them. We have what is called annual leave and sick leave and when it is granted, it is up to the supervisor to “cover” that person. If it happens to be you, it is not the person’s fault taking the leave. When you take leave or vacation, do you worry whose covering for you? I think not.

By singlemom

September 26, 2006 02:42 PM | Link to this

By Me Oh honey if were just that simple. Why do people without kids no more than people with kids? It was not my choice to be a single parent, but i won’t go into that right now. I simply cannot afford a nanny to stay home with my child. After I have paid the mortgage (not rent thank you), paid all the bills to run MY HOUSE, how on earth do I squeeze in a Nanny? Oh I know, I’ll go get a second job to pay for a Nanny. I’ll just work two jobs and pay someone to raise my child for me. Why didn’t I think of that sooner?

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 02:48 PM | Link to this

Yes lala…….the Slacker is BABYGIRL!!!! babygirl, get yo azz back to work and stop SLACKING!!!

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this

im not slacking, you’re just whining. If you’re doing your job, why are you worrying about someone else. You shouldn’t have time working as hard as you say you do. Sounds like your just jealous of this person getting more attention than you.

By Boss Man

September 26, 2006 02:57 PM | Link to this

SLACKER, BABYGIRL, SEXIONE. GET BACK TO WORK ASAP….. AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED NO-ONE HAS NO ROOM TO BE CALLING ANYONE SLACKER ON HERE!!!!!!

By Brian Curtis

September 26, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

Nobody is forced to have kids; it’s a personal choice, and one that you (and you alone) deal with the consequences of.

I’m not furious or resentful—just insistent that my employer treat ALL employees equally regardless of family situation, parent/nonparent status, etc.

Does anyone remember the bad old days when Jim and Sue were up for a raise, and it went to Jim because “he’s got a family to support”? THAT’s what a family-friendly workplace sounds like to nonparents who have to cover for their parent-colleagues.

The argument that “raising a kid is haaaaaard” is a sob story. Nobody ordered you to have or raise kids, and you’re not performing some sort of selfless Public Service by having them. It’s a personal choice you made, and it incurs ZERO obligation on your coworkers to help you sustain that choice.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

Look, I’m back with the insensitivity!

Maybe some of the posters here don’t have kids because we didn’t want to be in the position that some of you working mommies are. An amazing number of women pick inappropriate fathers (oohh, he looks so hot in that shirt! I want his baby!) and then end up having to work, since their husband can’t support the family, or because they end up divorced due to babydaddy being a jerk (see singlemom’s example.)

So, again I have no problem with helping out co-workers with some slack, for whatever reason. But the bigger problem is that women are generally expected to work and raise children. If you have a kid in this situation, and push the extra work off on others, that’s uncool. Yeah, some women have no choice. But can a lot of you working mothers honestly say that you HAVE to work? Or that if you have a husband/partner around, that he is equally responsible for the children?

Open fire, ladies!

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

Nope, not buying it……YOU SOUND LIKE A SLACKER TOO!!!!!

It’s always the slackers thats making excuses. And who said anything about the other Slacker getting more attention? I never mentioned attention, other than she’s making herself look bad, JUST LIKE YOU!!!!

babygirl aka The Slacker, lol

By Erica`

September 26, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this

This debate has truly raised the divide between those with children vs those without. I think we’re missing the larger issue which is “family/life” friendly companies. For those of us with baby-boomer parents, an employer who has a level of compassion and provides for those inevitable situations such as illness of child, parent, and allows a some flexibility will always retain good employees in the long run.

I have been on both sides of this debate. For the majority of my career, I was single and hardly ever needed to take time off. I was often annoyed by all of the moms who “pimped” their kids for constant time off and slacking at work. That all changed whe a member of my family became catastrophically ill and I had to take time off to provide care. My employer treated me with great humanity and compassion and was generous with my leave, allowing me to be there for my family when I was needed most. I am now the mother of an almost 1 year old, and I feel fortunate to work with folks who allow family friendly perks such as teleworking and flex time. As bad luck would have it, my mom became very ill when my baby was 2 weeks old and my employers really worked with me in terms of giving me some flexibility with my maternity leave as I had a sick parent and a newborn to care for.

What is my point for this forum? I have 2. First, if you’re a slacker on a job or always looking to “get over” on your employer, that will be consistent whether you are a mommy or not. There are always employees who are looking to the max for the minimum regardless. My work ethic has been consistent throughout my career, mommy or not. I give 100% at work and always take pride in doing my job well. How does being a mom change that? Not too much, except for I can’t always work crazy overtime because I have to pick up my little one. Second point, employers who are realistic about employees having family responsibilities as well and who allow for a balance between work and family will attract and retain quality employees. Can I go elsewhere and make an additional $20-30k? Sure, but my time has now become more valuable than what amounts to an extra 600-800 dollars a month after taxes.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this

Nope, not buying it……YOU SOUND LIKE A SLACKER TOO!!!!!

It’s always the slackers thats making excuses. And who said anything about the other Slacker getting more attention? I never mentioned attention, other than she’s making herself look bad, JUST LIKE YOU!!!!

babygirl aka The Slacker, lol

By Brian Curtis

September 26, 2006 03:07 PM | Link to this

Erica: Well said… which is why I called for “worker-friendly” companies at the outset, not just “mother-friendly.”

Discrimination in favor of one type of worker over others is never an acceptable solution.

By Boss Man

September 26, 2006 03:09 PM | Link to this

As a single mother I would say “Yes, I have to work.” And it really doesn’t have to do with the shirt, honey, some men just run from responsibility. Unfortunately the women ends up raising the child, working, playing mommy, daddy, doctor, nurturer. I could find a wealthy man to throw money my way and support my child and I, but instead I chose to work. I would hope that if something did happen and I had to take off work, my coworkers would help out. If became excessive I would expect to lose my job!!!!!!!

By Jules

September 26, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

Children don’t ask to be brought into the world, that is a choice that adults make, and as adults we accept that life is not fair. Employers should treat all employees the same, if one has a flexibile scheule then all in the department should have the same option.

And if your child is too sick to go to school, do us all a favor, stay home with the child. Please do bring your sick child to the office so that I can catch whatever he/she has, I don’t come to work sick and use my PTO (or go without pay) you should do the same. I don’t mind help out or covering for someone when they are out, but it would be nice if it was done for me when I am out.

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

Yea im a slacker that is why i have 28 years on the job and respect from my bosses. You just don’t get it. When you are asked to do something by your boss, the coworker ON LEAVE has no obligation to you. They earned that leave. Your obligation is to your boss and if you don’t like what is going on tell them. Dont keep dissing someone. When I fill in for someone on leave, I don’t whine about what they are doing………..stop whining

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this

JUlES-COME ON NOW, SO WHEN YOUR COWORKER CALLS IN BECAUSE THEIR CHILD IS SICK, SOMEONE HELPS OUT, BUT IF YOUR SICK, NO-ONE HELPS OUT, LETS NOT BE OVER DRAMATIC.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 03:22 PM | Link to this

babygirl…….blah, blah, blah, blah

babygirl aka The Slacker, blah, blah, blah

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 03:24 PM | Link to this

baby girl you are exactly right.

boys and girls, when a mommy leaves early to pick up a sick kid, that comes out of her sick time!

By By Me

September 26, 2006 03:24 PM | Link to this

To Singlemom: The financial issue that you face is faced by two parent families as well, and, yes there are 2 parent families that cannot afford a nany. This by no means should entitle you or anyone else to additional priviledges/beneffits at work.

I have three kids and can tell you that i did not expect to be treated at work differently just because of this. I and my husband took sickdays to accomodate kids, hired nannys, and when we ran out of options, turned to friends. I have been there. I came to this country with $100 in my pocket and very well know what is to live from payday to payday.

I work for a consulting company and pull 60-80 hour weeks. This is my choise now. I know a few people in our company who work 50% because they have children and company accomodates that.

By Lynn

September 26, 2006 03:27 PM | Link to this

All the guys on here seem to drag down the working moms, but how many times a day does your stay at home wife call you just to say the baby took a crap or remind you what to bring home from the store after work? Seriously, I work with all men and know this first hand. Most of my guys work (goof off) in the field. They come into the office maybe twice a week and I can’t get anything done for the stupid nextel beeps from their wives. Their children are younger than mine so they are constantly taking off so mom can take one to the DR or ballat while he stays with the other one. Geez guys, put your women to work so they’ll let you get your own job done! I’m tired of taking up the slack for the men with whiney wives.

By babygirl

September 26, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

sexione you and stinky would be perfect for each other.

To people on both sides. Your argument is not with each other but with you and your boss and the company policies. Dissing other employees is not accompishing anything

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this

When you came to this country did you take an English course because your spelling and grammer is god awful. And yes 2 parent homes do have financial issues also, but it is definately easier with 2 incomes to afford a nanny, that’s with 2 n’s…….

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this

ok, yes having a child is MY CHOICE. I am puzzled though as to how these parents are pushing their work off on you? What exactly are you doing that is their responsibilty? I am curious what industries this would be in. In every job I have ever had there was only one that required “covering” and that was in the food industry when I was in high school.

By Jules

September 26, 2006 03:36 PM | Link to this

To Right One: I work in a department of 3. The other person who is my equal does not know how to process 95% of the stuff that I do. She has been shown, but you have to show her numerous of times. I have trained her 5 times on one item and there are handbooks, she just doesn’t have the desire to learn. And why should she, our supervisor sure doesn’t care.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 03:39 PM | Link to this

i said it before and i will say it again, if a business owner wants to give a mommy special treatment tough s**. it is not up to anyone else!

“wah wah mr.boss let susie off because the hospital called and her kid is there. I wanted to leave early to bathe Sassy before the cat fashion show”

or

“mr. boss i need thursday off. my mom has to have __ removed and i need to be there”

i think that would take presidence over Little Susie’s PT conference. you whine that you aren’t treated equally but really you are. your freaking dog just isn’t as important as a HUMAN!!!!!

By singlemom

September 26, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this

By me I never said I was entitled to special benefits because I have a child. I stated in my first post that I worked for a very family friendly company. Everyone here gets time of for various things, even the ones without kids, none of us get our pay docked for leaving early. everyone has doctor/dentist appts. Everyone here gets sick once in a while and has to leave, and we all step in. It’s no big deal here, everyone WILLINGLY helps out when one of us is out of the office. We consider ourselves family, as we have all worked here for at least 10 years. That’s the benefit of a small company. An earlier post stated single parents should hire nannies to take care of their kids. I didn’t have a kid so someone else could take care of her.

By Just can't win

September 26, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this

So working moms annoy single/childless workers because you constantly have to “cover” for them or take up their slack when they have to deal with family issues. But stay at home moms apparently annoy you so much (because they talk to their working husbands during the day?) that you want them to become working moms — who will ultimately annoy you by having to take time to take care of the children. It sounds like a no-win situation.

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this

LYNN YOU ROCK!!!! I have to answer the phone when these women call! Argh! My kid poops too but hubby really doesn’t have to know everytime~

By Class

September 26, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

Dear Lynn- I agree with you completely, you sound like you work in the same area I do. If you have a muscle in between your legs you get special treatment. Nextels going off all the time when they come in from the field. Whining wives that no matter what my door is made of I can’t drown it out.

Every work place environment is different, I really feel bad for those of you are being forced to work with these single parents that are never at work. That must be awful, having to do their job and yours while they’re at home wishing they could be at work because their having to deal with a sick child. Believe me when I say, work can be a great escape!!!!

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

ok like half my post didn’t make it through so I just want to retract all of that. Thanks! Now I DO look like and idiot.

By Stinky Sullivan

September 26, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

Singlemom, And you wonder why you’re a single mom! I’m sure your entitlement attitude had NOTHING to do with that!

Dude was like…SEEEE YAAAA!!!

Don’t blame him though.

Please don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

sS

By scv

September 26, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

Hey, RIGHT ONE…

Before you play English teacher,
1) It is grammar not grammer. 2) It is definitely not definately.

Thanks, chief.

By Class

September 26, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

Dear Jules: sounds like your coworker needs to find another job. It’s just not sinking in

By blogbully

September 26, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

i can’t believe I am saying this but why b*** about something you can’t change? If the only place you have the guts to complain about this is on a blog the that should just be tough cookies for you tiger!

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

SVC- NO PROBLEM SPORT!!!!!!!

By By me

September 26, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

To Right one: Yes, i took english classes. I also speak 3 languages and and have 2 college degrees and i am doing masters in ivy league college. I wonder how well would you write in my, or in that matter, any other foreign language. P.S. I can always have a secretary to check my spelling mistakes, but certainly i cannot hire anyone to do the thinking that i am doing. I get paid for ideas, not spelling. And in case you are wondering, i make 6 fig salary.

By cyndi

September 26, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

<<>>

Sorry Pat, you’re wrong. If my life interests outside work include traveling, (which they do), and I’ve scheduled to leave Friday mid-day, your kid doesn’t trump my plans.

By scv

September 26, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

Oh, 3) “Spelling and grammer [sic] is god awful” should be “spelling and grammar ARE god awful.

By Stinky Sullivan SUCKS!!

September 26, 2006 03:52 PM | Link to this

SS would you please do us all a favor and jump off a bridge! your comments are not welcome or appreciated you FREAK OF NATURE!!!!

By blogbully

September 26, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

Skanky, I paid alot for my lunch and I want to keep it down please.

By i am the boss here

September 26, 2006 04:00 PM | Link to this

actually Cyndi, in my company no your little trip will have to wait. and yes i am sure you are glad you don’t work for me, because we are a family not just a team and in this family you would be the better old hag aunt from whom everyone runs!

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

SCV-Why don’t you consider being an English teacher, since you ARE god awful good at it.

By blogbully

September 26, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

BY ME is from: a.india, b. pakistan, or c. mexico

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 04:02 PM | Link to this

just because there is Ivy growing ON the school doesn’t make it Ivy LEAGUE honey. Just to clarify.

By Sexione

September 26, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

babygirl, you are STINKY!!!! LOL

By By Me

September 26, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

Singlemom: It sounds that you worked in a friendly company that treated all employees equally. It is different then just mother friendly. My point is that if the company provides flexible workday, it should provide to all employees and not just mommies/daddies.

I see how workplace is going to change because technology enables working from home (from conference calls to web meetings) and thus everyone will have more flexibility with work schedule.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

This has been a really good topic! Good day everyone. Theresa I am hoping for another stimulating topic tomorrow.

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

by me is from-drum roll D. All of the above.

By SingleMom of 2

September 26, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

THANKS LALALADY & BELLAMOMMA.. I NEED ALL THE BLESSINGS I CAN GET. MY SON IS DOING BETTER NOW THAT HE IS GETTING OLDER BUT WE STILL HAVE ISSUES. YA KNOW EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN OPINION BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE MALES ARE GETTING PRETTY RUDE WITH THIS TOPIC. HEY MALES WHY ARE YOU GETTING TO RUDE?? (YEAH I SAID MALES NOT MEN, B/C IF YOU WERE REAL MEN THEN YOU WOULD NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS TOPIC AT ALL).

By Lynn

September 26, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

Just can’t win - are you just now figuring that one out? I’m sorry guys but if your wife isn’t ringing your phone every 5 mins, she’s ringing mine and personally I don’t have time or give a crap about the late mailman or the milk being out of date. Your stay at home wives are bored. Find something for them to do so we can do our job please.

By NoKidz

September 26, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

My goodness….when bloggers go bad!

Glad I ain’t working for i am the boss here, if you would cause a worker to miss a planned vacation, which they had already asked for time off, so they could accommodate a child emergency for another co-worker.

Way to build a family working environment! Sibling rivalry there must be something to behold!

Uh, is someone going to shoot me down for using “ain’t”?

By Stinky Sullivan

September 26, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this

Lalafemale, With your insult-laden mouth, you are a far, far cry from being a lady.

sS

By i am the boss here

September 26, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this

i am sorry i miss read. no if the trip was scheduled then would just be out two people instead of one. And that should have said bitter not better. Damn it where is my secretary!

By RIGHT ONE

September 26, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this

NoKidz—-scv will probably shoot ya down for using “ain’t”. He/She was an english teacher in a former life. It’s been fun, to sum it up for the day, everyone that doesn’t have kids will never get it, one day if they’re ever blessed, they’ll understand…..

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this

this coming from the same male (NOT a MAN by any means) who said “i can hit it and quit it”? how gentlemanly. You my dear are the one with the foul mouth and rude insinuations. apparently other agree with me too!

By thisishilarious

September 26, 2006 04:35 PM | Link to this

I am the boss here, you gave her the day off to be with the sick kid…

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 04:39 PM | Link to this

i was not even talking to or about you either Stinky so butt out! go harass some women walking down the street or call you 1-900 number. Can anyone picture stinky as the uncle from Napolean Dynamite? EWWWWW!

By southernmommy

September 26, 2006 04:41 PM | Link to this

well I am off to pick up kids! yes, it is before 5pm! P**?

By Stinky Sullivan

September 26, 2006 04:42 PM | Link to this

I never claimed to be a gentleman…just to be one in-shape, good-looking young man with a lot of money and no problem with the LADIES. Get it LADIES, as in NOT YOU.

But let’s not make this about me…let’s make this about you and your penchant for INSULTING people.

Look long and hard at the mirror before you start insulting people.

By i am the boss here

September 26, 2006 04:46 PM | Link to this

um, yes! why not? they are her sick days. how she uses them is up to her! If she takes more than is aloted i will dock her that time or take it from her vacation time, which ever she prefers. In addition this same rule applies to my guys too. And to the three employee’s with out kids, if they want to use a sick day to clean house or sleep in or what ever THAT IS FINE TOO!

ps the only woman here has kids under the age of 5 who obviously can’t stay by themselves! She works hard so I GIVE her all the time she needs.

By lalalady

September 26, 2006 04:49 PM | Link to this

Honey you are way to sleazy to even argue with. I am married but I would love to meet this love machine you claim to be. I think I could bring along my mirror and burst your bubble babe!

I have often found men who claim to be sexy on the internet are alot like men who claim to be 14 year old girls on the internet:

fat middle aged perverts

By scv

September 26, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

RIGHT ONE, far from it, my good friend. My degrees are in math, so I’d be better at quantifying mistakes rather than correcting them. I just found it comical that your post critizicing someone’s spelling and grammar was laden with errors of your own. Blogs are not sacred text, why should entries be spellchecked? And, yes, kids are a blessing, indeed.

By bellamomma

September 26, 2006 04:56 PM | Link to this

theresa, I would love to see ADHD done as a topic and how it effects the family. We could discuss some of the treatments. Austim is another good topic too because it is a growing concern! just a thought

By Nikita

September 26, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this

I work in a state position which is relatively family-friendly. We have to cobble maternity lave together from sick + annual leave, but both are quite generous so that shouldn’t be too hard for anyone who has some service time in already.

I am childfree/childless/whatever, and i can’t say I’ve had much trouble being abused by mommies with kids to care for. I did have a coworker who never got asked to stay late, but my boss also overlooked the fact that I keep score and if I stay late then I will come in late at some point to make up for it.

Agreed 100% with Brian regarding benefiting one class of worker to the detriment of others — it simply is not fair, and it’s not surprising that the effect is resentment and in some cases a reluctance to hire women.

By mykidsdad

September 26, 2006 05:27 PM | Link to this

Boy this blog went south fast. A lot of bitterness and immaturity out there.

I can’t wait to go home to my kids.

By NWNE

September 26, 2006 05:46 PM | Link to this

Have you ever watched animal planet? Wow! Yeah as I matter of fact I have: in fact just yesterday morning I watched a lion, newhead of his new pride, KILL every single sub that wasn’t his, and I watched the lionesses do absolutely nothing about it.

And let’s face it having children IS selfish, because only the mother and father (assuming it’s a married couple and no one got oops’ed) made the decision. No one asks the KIDS if they wanted to be born into this miserable life.

In the old days people wanted more help on the farm, then it was the factories, then it was because “everyone else has a baby” and then tax breaks, and then “because I want them to live the life I never had”, and so on and so on ad nauseum.

Even “to please God” is a selfish reason, because you’re simply trying to ingraciate yourself to God.

So…if you decide to force a child into being then do not expect the world to bow down to you. Reproducing is not magical, it is not mystical, and you are not the only woman to ever give birth.

Plants, bacteria, viruses, cats, dogs, goldfish, house flies, and earthworms do it all the time, everyday, along with the humans.

You bred. You get to deal with the consequences. Bed, made, lie.

NWNE

By bushwacker

September 26, 2006 06:24 PM | Link to this

As long as us single people with no kids get the same amount of time off its ok with me. I’m already helping raise other peoples kids the way I’m taxed so I should get the same benefits.

By ISUPPORTMYFAMILY

September 26, 2006 06:27 PM | Link to this

WELL HOW ABOUT I STOP WORKING AND STAY AT HOME WITH MY CHILDREN AND LET ALL OF YOU (ANTI-MOMS WORKING FOR A LIVING)SUPPORT ME WHILE I LIVE OFF OF WELFARE PROGRAMS. SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT PLAN SINCE I WOULD BE THE TYPE TO GET ON YOUR NERVES.

By ISUPPORTMYOWNFAMILY

September 26, 2006 06:41 PM | Link to this

CONT…BUT THEN AGAIN YOU WOULD CALL ME LAZY AND NO GOOD IF I DID THAT. SO YOU GIVE ME YOUR BRIGHT IDEA ON HOW I SHOULD RAISE MY KIDS CORRECTLY SO THEY DON’T END UP DEAD OR IN JAIL PLUS GET UP OFF MY A** TO TAKE CARE OF OWN AND PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE SO I DON’T USE YOUR TAX DOLLARS TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY. JUST IMAGINE IF YOUR MOTHER WASN’T ACTIVE IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE SHE HAD TO WORK WAY MORE THAN SHE COULD HANDLE CAUSE OF HEARTLESS PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELVES.

By ISUPPORTMYFAMILY

September 26, 2006 06:54 PM | Link to this

OH MR. BUSHWACKER, GUESS WHAT! THE SINGLE PARENTS THAT WORK WITH ACTUALLY PAY TAXES JUST AS YOU, SO YOUR NOT SUPPORTING THIER KIDS. THAT THE WHOLE POINT IN THEM WORKING. DON’T YOU GET IT?

By Jules

September 27, 2006 06:43 AM | Link to this

TO ISUPPORTMYFAMILY: You should have thought about how YOU were going to raise your children BEFORE you had them. Childless people should be entitled to the same benefits as those with children.

By dad

September 27, 2006 07:07 AM | Link to this

-+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+- ah, the generation-old question: “Where is the balance between working and raising kids?” Answer: There is no balance. RAISE YOUR OWN KIDS, THAT IS YOUR WORK. And stop shipping them off to daycare, government indoctrination camps (schools), and pre-pre-pre kindergarten. Some mothers are practically putting their kids up for adoption. WHY, WHY, WHY can’t you see that they are YOUR kids. There is no job in life more important. Ignore the rest of the world and do what makes sense, RAISE YOUR KIDS YOURSELF!

By Brian Curtis

September 27, 2006 07:46 AM | Link to this

WSB 98.5 FM is discussing this issue on their Wednesday morning show (i.e., right now), if anyone wants to tune in.

By Cindy RD

September 27, 2006 08:19 AM | Link to this

To say that ANY company is mother-friendly is completely ridiculous. These “mom-friendly” companies say they offer perks and there are constant Best 100 company lists that pop up. But look deeper and you’ll see those perks DO NOT apply to the file and rank employees….only management and Executives. All other women must be at their desk..no telecomuting, showing up late because you want to attend “Little Suzy’s play at school”, or leaving early because Haverty’s is delivering your new furniture, or taking two hour lunches for errands, hair appointments, lunch dates with friends or even to have lunch at school with your child. Get real. I’m a file and rank and see this inequality and servitude to management everyday. It sickens me. It’s to say secretaries, clerks, etc. are less than management and don’t deserve the same perks. We’re nobodies.

By Nikita

September 27, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this

I Support — here’s my question…if you have to go on welfare or require substantial leeway at work to raise your kids, then why did you have them? They are a responsibility which you chose to create and take responsibility for.

By Jay

September 27, 2006 09:11 AM | Link to this

Not every position is conducive to flexible hours. If you are an administrative assistant or answering phones on a help desk, then yes, in many situations your presence at your desk is necessary and your absence can have a negative impact on normal business practice. In these situations, I can understand why some employees may not have as much flexibility as others.

I hope people are comparing apples and apples when making their comments above, vs comparing apples and oranges. All positions are NOT the same, and all employees cannot always have the same flexibility in their work schedule.

I have never worked for an employer that did not allow me some flexibility in regards to my family. And, I never will. I bust my backside to ensure I do a wonderful job for my employer, I go above and beyond. I work nights, weekends, etc. whatever it takes to get my job done. No one covers for me when I have a sick child, or a conference to attend. If I need to take care of something with my child/children I do - no “permission” needed and no questions asked…because my employers have always known, the work will get done, and it will get done well. — when all is said and done, my kids come first, if my career reaches a point where I can’t meet the needs of my children and the needs of my employer simultaneously, then I’ll get a new job.

By abc

September 27, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

I would think it’d go the same way for dads though… frankly, working in a production technology capacity through the dotcom boom, long hours caused me to miss most of my kids events. Even birthday parties weren’t scheduled for when I could be there, as all the other kids to be invited couldn’t make it on a Saturday, or some reason like that. While many would blame me for working so much and not ‘being there’ for the kids, SOMEONE has to make the dough. Now that women represent such a large part of the work force, and have contemporary ambitions of career and so on, they experience the same things dads have dealt with forever.

By Cindy RD

September 27, 2006 09:39 AM | Link to this

Jay, the point of my comment is that what is the purpose of stating a company is mom-friendly if it applies only to salaried women? Many women, particularly those without degrees, work because we have to in order to help support the family. If one must punch a time clock and account for every minute of their day, it is unfair to state a company is family-friendly. You are very fortunate in your position. As a high-level secretary with top notch skills and 30 years experience, I have never had the luxury of flex time. And it creates alot of resentment in the heart of hourly employees. We bust our tails as much as anyone and are required to work overtime and weekends as much as any salaried person. We just don’t get the perk of showing up late, leaving early and taking extended lunches. Remember that next time you take a long, long lunch with your salaried buddies. While you’re relazed, laughing, and taking your time at the mexican restaurant, the secretary is back at her desk humping to get out a spreadsheet or powerpoint so that it will be ready for your 2:00 meeting when you finally return! Been there! Done that!

By bellamomma

September 27, 2006 09:42 AM | Link to this

NWHE~ You sound like a pathic, pitiful person. You make no sense (how can an unborn child make a decision?) and if we all thought like, you the human race would end with us. Twit.

By babygirl

September 27, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

bottom line - we have all agreed to disagree

By lalalady

September 27, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

way to go Cindy! I have no sympathy for anyone with out kids. You think you have it so hard. Well I did too unitl I had a baby! Now I know hard! And before one of you childless whiners tells me I shouldn’t have kids unless I can handle them, I can and do deal with the difficulties, quite well I might add.

Jay you have the right attitude about your family and job.

everyone is missing I supports point~ if you want to b*** about moms in the work place then we will have just quit and let you support us SINCE pretty much everyone here with out a child has implied that mothers have no business in a work place BUT have agreed that the children need to be provided for!

yes, i can “take care of” my kids financially and emotionally, BUT that means I have to work at a JOB! And if my boss wants to reward my hard work with flexibilty than that is between me and him! Not you !

By Brian Curtis

September 27, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Lalalady: Wrong. If the boss isn’t treating all employees equally, it’s most definitely a concern for all of us… and possibly a lawyer or two as well.

Unequal treatment is not “a private arrangement between Mommy and her boss”—it’s discrimination. And it should be challenged and fought as such.

By babygirl

September 27, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Brian what planet did you grow up on? Happens all the time and you will never know. If you were truthful you would probably admit to something the boss let you do. Geez

By Jay

September 27, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

Cindy, its unfortunate that you feel taken advantage of…and resentment towards salaried employees. I know many salaried employees that have limited flexibility due to the specific requirements of their jobs. Its not an issue that only impacts Hourly Moms. I must say the need for you to punch a clock sounds more like its required due to the need your position fills vs your employer being unfriendly towards working parents.

Business lunches are not always fun and very seldom relaxing. Through the course of my career I’ve had to take many 2 hour lunches…with clients. Or drinks after work, business dinners and trips across the country to have End of Project celebrations, kickoffs, etc. I don’t get “paid” extra for the hours spent traveling, delay’s in the airport, “entertaining” clients etc etc. — which I don’t mind saying, is most often boring as h e double LL !! And, news flash, my “real” work still needs to get done as well. Often the flexibility allowed some employees is a result of all these extra’s required by their position. I don’t have an issue doing these extra’s as they are required to successfully fulfill my role, but these extra’s also enable me to feel no guilt for taking an hour and a half to go get my hair done. After all, I couldn’t do it Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday evening as I was travling……on business.

There are many inequities in the workplace…some are real, some are perceived as they are based on peoples limited perceptions of other employees contributions.

By lalalady

September 27, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

BRIAN CURTIS: No one said it was un-equal treament. It is none of my business if he wants to let another worker off on Friday as a reward for extra hard work. As far as a schedule goes, the schedule I set up when I started my job was agreed upon by my boss and I. I can not help if some other people did not do the same. They may make a little more than I do for their hard work. I prefer to be compensated with time off.

I come in an hour after everyone else and leave an hour earlier. But I also work from home a few hours a week (after hours) and I only take 30 minutes for lunch. Other people come in early and take a two hour lunch and still other come in early, leave late and take a half day every friday.

I don’t complain when I have to help cover when Jane leaves at 12 on Fridays and she doesn’t complain when she has to answer the phones the two hours a day I am gone. And if you want a job this nice GO FIND ONE! But understand it comes at a price. I could make double what I make in a more rigid enviroment BUT I trade MONEY for FAMILY.

By southernmommy

September 27, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

AMEN!!! That is what I am saying. I could make way more money, but I chose to make just what I need and spend more (lots more) time with my kids!

the fact is, at the end of the when you are mad because mommy susie gets to leave early for carpool, keep in mind she may be $$paying$$ for it!

By NoKidz

September 27, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

I’m not mad just because mommie susie leaves early; I’m mad if mommie susie leaves early and I have to work more to compensate for her not being there.

If y’all have jobs that are inherently flexible, awesome. It sounds like some of you have chosen to keep/find jobs like that instead of going for more money, or prestige, or whatever. But I think some of you are underestimating what your co-workers have to do when you’re not there.

And please, knock off the “oh, when you grow up and have children you’ll understand” comments. Everybody in life has trials and complications, so don’t act like everyone else should issue you a parent pass. Or listen like you’re the grownup who has superior knowledge and wisdom.

By babygirl

September 27, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this

let me splain this to you lucy (nokidz) Your problem is not with mommy, it is with the boss who let her off and made you work. She has permission and they put you doing her job. THE BOSS, got it? Other than that, if you don’t understand, you must be hung up on people with kids.

By lalalady

September 27, 2006 01:16 PM | Link to this

and another thing, as far as not having kids with out being prepared to care for them, there is this thing called LIFE and in LIFE, CRAP that you would never expect can happen at anytime. Ever lose a job,a spouse or get sick? What about people whose children develop cancer. they have to work to pay for chemo and they have to spend time taking care of their kids so please, what do you suggest?

By bellamomma

September 27, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this

babygirl you are exactly right! that is the boss’ issue.

By NoKidz

September 27, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

Nice rationalization…if the guys are hanging around the water cooler BS’ing while the women work, and the boss is okay with that, I bet you’d howl like a stuck pig. Or if my co-worker is knocking boots with the boss, and someone else has to pick up her slack, that’s cool?

Let me ‘splain something to you, aptly-named Babygirl; doing something because you can get away with it doesn’t make it right.

If your only concern is getting permission from the boss, and you could give a flying flip less about everyone else in the office, you must be a real joy to work with!

By southernmommy

September 27, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this

NoKidz:would you feel guilty if your co-worker had to work harder or later because you were on vacation or sick? no, because that is YOUR aloted time, just as my sick days and un-paid car pool time are mine! If you don’t like covering for Susie while she is out TELL YOUR BOSS! I am sure you and he can work something out. Like maybe since you can’t be a team player, when you are gone they will just stack your work on your desk, etc. instead of covering for you!

By lalalady

September 27, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this

if you read that to mean no one with out kids has it hard, then you truely do just have an issue with parents. What I mean is there are more important things in life than you having enough time to get into costume for the Cher concert. Everyone has to make the most out of what life deals them.

By southernmommy

September 27, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

Did you ever think that maybe the boss notices the guy at the cooler and that is why you got the promotion not him?

All I can say is if you spent half as much time working and worring about you and your job as you do EVERYONE elses, then you could be boss and make all the decisions.

The work place may not be fair but neither is society.

By babygirl

September 27, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this

If all you do is complalin and b**, then I bet people like you a lot.

By NoKidz

September 27, 2006 01:41 PM | Link to this

Yes, I would feel guilty if I took twice as much vacation time or four times as much sick time or whatever as a co-worker in a comprable job, and they had to do more. Especially if I was constantly doing kid things, while my husband/partner/whoever expected me to offload on my co-workers because he didn’t want to do it.

Anyone notice the title of the column :”is your company mother friendly?” Why aren’t y’all tapping daddies to do some of this, instead of whining to your boss? Dividing up the kid chores might make a difference.

By Ciindy RD

September 27, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

Jay, I don’t resent salaried employees..my husband is a very successful one. I resent companies that state that they are family-friendly when in fact those flex schedules are reserved only for the salaried women. Like the salaried women, I still have young children, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, cub scouts, etc. except I don’t get the extra flex time to balance my family/work schedule like the salaried women. That’s the resentment and why it’s ludicrous to advertise family-friendly families when in essence they should really advertise “family-friendly for salaried only”.

By Elaine

September 27, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this

This is another one of those days that makes me seriously question the validity/identity of a large number of posts. Why are so many people without kids so actively involved with the MOMania blog? Why would they even visit the page?

I think it’s clear from the valid posts that more companies should be human-being-friendly (as opposed to just Mom’s). Really, if people feel like their lives are in order and can take care of their personal issues, they’re going to perform better at work. It’s not some pie-in-the-sky altruistic stance that a corporation makes; it’s just good business. It’s just like companies that give flu shots or health screenings—they aren’t just being nice. They’re trying to help their employees stay healthy which in-turn helps productivity (and save on health insurance costs). The same goes for flex time and the like, more companies should figure out that it really helps them in the long run. Cox is one of those companies. At least with the people I know who work there—it seems as though that company really respects people’s personal lives, and in return gets a whole lot of good work out of them…

By NoKidz

September 27, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this

Well, checking in after over an hour, the silence is deafening.

But then it isn’t surprising that y’all can’t offer any ideas why I should cover for you, while your husband, or whoever else decided to be a parent doesn’t have to take the trouble. Hey, shouldn’t I be next in line to take the responsibility, before him? Gosh, silly me. Not having children has not only made me bitter, it’s destroyed my capacity for logic.

Or you can go back and hide behind the boss. Enjoy your second shift at home while the guys watch TV, putter around the house, or wait for you to make dinner.

By Nikita

September 27, 2006 04:04 PM | Link to this

Lala, this “it’s called life” argument doesn’t wash. I have ovaries — I don’t have kids. ‘Cause I also have birth control of both natural and artificial means. As do you. As do ALL of you.

Furthermore, having kids doesn’t mean pawning off all responsibility upon others and expecting to be compensated as though you haven’t. However, by your earlier comments you seem to believe that you have the right to demand that others compensate for your life choices. and that’s just wrong. It is as wrong as if I expected my fellow employees to not hold me to the same rules because I have someone else to care for, or a grueling golf schedule that I don’t want to infringe upon.

By southernmommy

September 27, 2006 04:34 PM | Link to this

Wait, what does ovaries have to do with it? That makes no sense. So, say you are a stay at home mom with a very wealthy husband, so you have two kids. you can devot your time and money to them. But then hubby runs off, dies, is in a cripling accident so YOU have to go to work to support this family now YET still need to be “around” so Johnny adn Susie don’t become teen parents or criminals or run a muck in the streets and further inconvience those people who chose not to have kids. That, my dear, is called life. Now YOU tell me what to do in this situation. Kids are a part of LIFE and society weither you have them or not. You are never going to get ride of all the kids and moms so just deal with it.

By bellamomma

September 27, 2006 04:36 PM | Link to this

Elaine I am with you. I find it sad that there are so many people bored or hateful enough to invaid a parents blog (with out having any children) and berate parents for their lifestyle choices.

By southernmommy

September 27, 2006 04:39 PM | Link to this

If those extra hours I am gone are A) aloted to me as most companies have a set amount of vaca time or B) coming out of my pay then it is not your comcern. If you have a problem with it, talk to the boss.

By Jay

September 27, 2006 05:05 PM | Link to this

Cindy, your experience is unfortunate, I can’t help but wonder where you are employed. I’ve worked for 6 different companies in my professional career and have not been witness to the situation you describe.

By Jay

September 27, 2006 05:21 PM | Link to this

A family friendy employer is a smart business decison, a Mommy friendly one is just plain stupid.

Those that are whining the loudest and blaming workplace Mommy’s for all the misfortune they feel is being unfairly thrust upon them in the workplace, need to take a long hard look in a well lit mirror. I assure you, your issue will be staring you in the face.

By ISUPPORTMYOWNFAMILY

September 27, 2006 07:19 PM | Link to this

FOR ALL THAT DO NOT READ BETWEEN THE LINES MY NAME IS I SUPPORT MY OWN FAMILY, and i was being sarcastic about getting welfare. I actually work and so does my husband. for the most part i don’t request to leave early or come in late. if i ever request anything i do in way in advance. actually the single people who are lazy often ask me to cover for them. this pay period i worked 15 hours overtime.

By Nikita

September 28, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this

Southern, if you’re not throwing your responsibilities onto your coworkers, then you have no right to be angry. ‘Cause that’s who I’m referring to. It is possible to raise children without demanding special accommodation from coworkers and employers — people do it all the time. But I am referring to those who do not.

By bellmomma

September 28, 2006 09:00 AM | Link to this

Jay your last post was perfect. That is exactly how it should be.

By southernmommy

September 28, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this

The point is, if someone is gone for any reason, SOMEONE will take up the slack. If you are gone do you think the company shuts down. No a co-worker covers your responsibilities, but you should be expected to return that “favor”. And parents tend to trade golf and travel time for PTA meeting and little league. Both require someone to cover. I just don’t think it is fair for you to try to say working mothers dump their responsibilities on you when, really you are doing the same!

By SNY

September 28, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

I have read each and every post on here and you know what, all of you are correct in one way or another.

Companies should be more understanding of a parent’s situation. But they also need to be understanding of all of their employees situation. I once worked with a woman who paid more money for her dog to have health insurance than she paid for herself. She has no children so her dog became her child. She took off to take the dog to the vet and she took sick time when the dog had surgery. I could care less about the dog, I backed her up because I cared about her. She was scared and hurting. Just like I would have been if it had been my child. Do I think that a dog is as important as a human - NO I don’t, but that is MY opinion.

Now, when I was out sick because I was pregnant, she helped me. Should I say that it was my fault for getting pregnant and it was my decision, no I don’t think so. I had no idea that being pregnant could cause blood clots. So should I have been fired because I got sick and was out for 3 months? Should I feel guilty because she had to pick up my work for 3 months? Should she expect me to cover her for 3 month once I returned to work? The answer to all of those questions is NO!! Now, I did take her to lunch once a week for the next 3 months once I returned. I know how hard it is to be responsible for 2 desks at the same time and I appreciated her help. The person that didn’t was our boss. She was taking work home and he basically told her that he didn’t care how hard she worked or how much work she took home, she wasn’t going to get any extra money for it. He did however, give her 1 day off for comp time. I thought that was crappy and I told him so. He, of course, didn’t like my attitude about it and he told me so. But I had to stick up for her. I thought that was just plain mean and wrong. A person cannot help getting sick or their child getting sick. For those of you without children, trust me, it breaks our hearts when our children are sick. We would rather it be us. No parent wants to see their child uncomfortable.

I do think that it is time for the dads to be more active in the daily life, but it is like the dad posted earlier, sometimes that’s not possible. But, dads need to make it more possible. Put your foot down. Explain to your bosses that your family is more important than your job. Sometimes, you just can’t be there.

Everyone has something that is important to them, it doesn’t matter what it is. We should all be granted equal amount of time off to pursue whatever it is that tickles our fancy.

By mommyto2

September 28, 2006 02:02 PM | Link to this

SNY~Good post.