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Friday, July 21, 2006
Adults intolerant of children should grow up
'Some people leave the house just looking for an excuse to judge parents'
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Should parents make sure their kids are well-behaved in adult settings, where there is a reasonable expectation of peace and quiet, such as a concert at Chastain, a movie with an adult theme, or a nice restaurant at night? Yes, they absolutely should.
Should adults expect quiet child-free experiences in other public places, such as a mall restaurant on an afternoon, a public pool or a family doctor’s office? No, they absolutely should not.
Some adults seem to think because they chose not to have children, or because their children are grown, that they can live in a world without laughing, yelling and running kids. That’s not possible, and it isn’t the responsibility of parents to make shopping trips, restaurant meals or plane rides as quiet as possible.
Staff writer Virginia Anderson writes about unruly kids in the Sunday Living section. She explores whether kids have gotten more out of control or if society is just less patient with children than it used to be.
Let’s look at some of the situations of “unruly children� from her article and decide if the children and parents were at fault, or if some people’s expectations are unreasonable.
In the lead of the story, Anderson introduces us to a woman who was dismayed when she arrived at a hotel to find 40 to 50 kids being loud in the swimming pool.
I can’t imagine a hotel pool with kids that wouldn’t be loud. Should the parents be shushing their children?
Kids: “Marco!�
Parents: “Shhhhhhhhhhhh.�
Kids (whispering): “Polo?�
To her credit, the woman didn’t complain to the hotel management about the pool. The woman went on to say that kids were screaming in the hallway after 9 p.m. and their parents were not correcting them. In this case, she had every right to correct those children, and she did.
Another woman in the article talked about her fear of being on “a long flight with a screaming baby and clueless parents who cannot comfort or quiet their offspring.�
This one makes me crazy. Don’t those who sit in judgment think parents want to comfort their children? Don’t they think it embarrasses parents to be unable to quiet their child in such an enclosed environment? Wouldn’t they assume the parents were doing their very best to try to help their child and not disturb other passengers?
Sometimes babies cry. And, sometimes babies fly. Parents should not be expected to be banned from the skies because some are offended by a crying infant. Passengers don’t buy peace and quiet when they purchased a ticket, they simply rented a seat.
I’ve got a fear about flying, too. It’s about being next to a rude adult, who yaks on his cell phone the whole time we’re at the gate, spills over his seat and armrest into mine and takes off his stinky shoes to get comfy.
Another woman in the article complained about shopping at a store during a tax-free weekend and being distracted by a screaming child. She said the mother just kept on shopping while the child yelled.
Now I wasn’t there, but I doubt that the mother was letting her child cry because she wanted to ruin the normally silent shopping experience. The child was probably screaming and crying so that the mom would get embarrassed and leave the store. Should the mother immediately stop what she is doing every time her child cries and give in to tantrums?
Or maybe, the child was simply tired, (no matter how well you plan around naps, kids get tired on outings), and the mother was trying to finish the task at hand as quickly as possible and get the heck out of there.
Yes, there are some parents who don’t take responsibility for their children’s actions and let them run wild. However, there are lots of public places where children are perfectly appropriate laughing, talking, playing or even crying.
I assume when I fly, and in most other situations, that parents are doing their very best to control their children. I give the parents the benefit of the doubt and my sympathy.
From the complaints I’ve heard and seen, however, it’s clear that some people leave the house just looking for an excuse to judge parents.
To me, the most beautiful sound on earth is the laughter, chatter and occasional yells from a gang of happy children. I don’t know how such happy sounds can fill so many others with anger.
Does your family use secret hand signals?
Is there a private code you use to communicate with your family?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Some families use referee-like signals or sign language-type codes to communicate things like “It’s time to leave” or “I love you.” Some use hand signals to say “I’ll take over from here” with the kids or to make inside jokes.
One of our reporters, Helen Oliviero, is working on a story about families who use these types of hand signals and is looking for parents who would be willing to share their secret hand codes in the newspaper.
Do you or anyone in your family use hand signals to communicate? If so, which ones are your favorites? And when are they good to use? If you are willing to talk to a reporter, please e-mail Helen at holiviero@ajc.com, and include a phone number where you can be reached.
