MOMania

By Diane Tavegia

May 4, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

Why yes we are so would someone please send me my check, including 35 years back pay to:

Diane @

LOLOL

By janice

May 4, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

To be honest, my worth is priceless. I work inside and outside the home and manage to do so in an efficient, thorough and organized manner, with time left for myself.

By Tina

May 4, 2006 04:10 PM | Link to this

I’m worth WAY more than the $200 a month pin money I’ve negotiated to have extracted out of our joint checking account for a little flexibility over my own needs.

What irks me about not making money while I’m at home is that I’m not allowed to contribute to my previously established and funded IRA without “earning income.” Not that it’s much each year, but I’m missing out saving for retirement on my own terms because of this major life choice I’ve made. All at-home moms should be ticked about it. Just because we’ve taken ourselves out of the W-2 workforce, doesn’t mean our long term needs can be ignored.

By Sonja Dugger

May 4, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

There is no limit to salary for working mothers. My day consists of getting myself and my son ready in the am, dropping him off by 7:30, driving 45 min to work for 8hrs, pick him up by 5:45pm, giving him an afternoon snack before dinner, clean the kitchen, give him a bath, reading books and our parent time together. A mother’s work is never done.

By MrLiberty

May 4, 2006 04:14 PM | Link to this

What is the point of having this discussion? Who is going to pay them?

Of course some stay at home moms are worth this much. But let’s also recognize that this total requires a whole lot of stuff.

Plenty of stay at home moms where I used to live in Suwanee don’t do enough to be worth $5000 let along $135K. In my opinion if you aren’t homeschooling your children you might just as well be at a job because no amount of cleaning, cooking, etc. can equal the value of consistent discipline, teaching of values, and educational enrichment that comes from homeschooling. If you just pack the kids away with the government for 8 hours so that you can get some peace and quiet, then maybe you should think about why you had children.

As long as we’re discussing value of work, I have no doubt that additional dollars would be racked up by dads that mow the lawn, occasionally cook dinner, occasionally clean, perform minor plumbing repairs, paint, etc. Nobody is giving them a paycheck either.

Marriages are successful when both parties appreciate and value what each half of the partnership brings to the marriage. The wife needs to appreciate the monetary contributions the husband makes, and the husband needs to appreciate the intangible value imparted through home schooling and the household chores that are perfomed.

There is only so much time in the day, and the contribution that each partner makes is as important as the other. Keeping the household together means that things are handled when dad or the other spouse comes home so now leisure time, etc. can be enjoyed with the financial assets the other brings.

Spouses that argue over these kinds of issues have no real sense of what is truly valuable in their relationship.

By Sabrina

May 4, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this

Don’t Cheat ME OUT OF MY PRETEND SALARY:

The salary for Working Moms can’t be true($85,876), because we actaully perform 2 full time jobs. I’m the full time housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, janitor and van driver to name a few - in addition, to my 40 hour a week job outside of my home. What do you think we do when we get home? Lay on the couch and do nothing.

Don’t cheat the working moms, because I work an additional 8 hours when I come home. I still have to maintain my home.

By Teresa

May 4, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

Tina, Regarding your statement that you are not able to contribute to an IRA since you are not working, this may not be true for you. Married couples may be able to deduct up to $4,000 each for amounts contributed to a traditional IRA (2006 amount). There are some limitations to this if your husband participates in an employer sponsored plan or if your Adjusted Gross Income is greater than a certain amount. Even if your husband contributes to a plan, your contribution may still be deductible. You may have already looked into this, but I just wanted to mention that it might be worth checking out the IRS website to see what applies to you.

By Dwayne

May 4, 2006 06:14 PM | Link to this

This cracks me up. It’s just another way for people to think that it’s ok to be a stay-at-home mome. They just use to it tell their husbands how much they are worth when most probably couldn’t get half that in the real world. It’s just a number on a web page, that’s it.

By Jennifer

May 4, 2006 06:28 PM | Link to this

No way I’m worth that much! I’ve worked outside the home and that is so much harder than staying at home with the kids. I do a lot more than most other SAHMs I know (I even mow the lawn) but it’s crazy to think I’m worth a 6-figure salary.

By Jennifer

May 4, 2006 06:37 PM | Link to this

So Dwayne are you saying it’s not ok to be a SAHM? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need validation to be happy with the choice that I made, but it’s so funny to hear people get snarky about SAHMs.

By Rebelyell

May 4, 2006 07:00 PM | Link to this

What about the stay -at- home mom’s that are only worth 30,000? You know there are plenty of those around too!

By dragon

May 5, 2006 06:44 AM | Link to this

i know the article is about mom’s, but what about us single dads? I go to work early so I can get off early and pick my kids up from school, homework, snacks, play, then 2 and a half hours later, off to their mom when she gets off.

By Together for 10

May 5, 2006 07:08 AM | Link to this

This is ridiculous. I work and I have to do just about all the same things a SAHM has to do. Just because I’m out of the house 10 hours a day doesn’t mean there is less laundry, cleaning, etc. to do! How on earth can working Moms be worth LESS than SAHMs when working Moms bring home income AND do all the Mom stuff too?

By Rod

May 5, 2006 07:13 AM | Link to this

This sort of “study” is ridiculous. Let’s see about a husband - factor in his salary as a groundskepper, lawn maintenance worker, plumber, electrician, handyman, etc.

Get over it.

By past50mom

May 5, 2006 07:32 AM | Link to this

The problem here is use of the word “worth” and assigning a dollar amount to an intangible value. Sure, if you hired others to perform comparable services it might cost this dollar amount.

You have no value system if you think you can explain family interactions in terms of money. Money is a necessary evil that is required to pay for housing, food, clothes, cars, insurance etc. and has nothing to with anyone’s contribution and worth in a family.

By reality check

May 5, 2006 08:02 AM | Link to this

Total nonsense. That is being kind.

By Joe Camp

May 5, 2006 08:30 AM | Link to this

PRICELESS. A fine woman who can maintain the home and raise a man’s children well is worth her weight in diamonds.

By George

May 5, 2006 09:13 AM | Link to this

Stay at home moms are invaluable. In my opinion it cheapens them to put a dollar figure on what they do. The dollar is not a measure of real value in this life. If it were, teachers and firemen would make the millions, and ballplayers and bimbo actresses would make $35k.

By George

May 5, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

Oh goody the guilt-ridden working moms are out this morning. This could get interesting.

By Peppermint

May 5, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this

I work outside the home for 8 hours a day - then I rush home and cram into four hours what the stay at home Moms have had all day to do…Give me a break

By Bob

May 5, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

The problem with this idea, as past50mom described, is that it assigns a monetary value to something that can’t be defined that way.

What does it mean for something to be “worth” $5? It means only that someone is willing to pay $5 for it. (Think about a baseball card, for example - it’s just cardboard until someone wants it.) So the question here is “who would pay?” An average husband making $50,000 a year could not spend $134,000 a year on van services, janitorial services, housekeepers, day care centers, etc. And his wife must not be adding $134,000 in value to his career, because he’s only making $50,000.

But since the wife is willing to provide those services for less that $134,000 (a price the market would not bear), then they must be “worth” less than $134,000. (Though there is a barter system whereby the husband puts a roof over the family’s heads, buys the food, and supplies virtually everything else - so she is being “paid” for her services.)

Here’s an example - I talk to my girlfriend every day. If she were a shrink, it would cost $200 an hour to talk to her - probably around $3000 a week. But I couldn’t pay $3000 a week to talk to her - I’d talk to my dog instead (who, presumably, won’t charge me). And my boss wouldn’t pay me an extra $3000 a week for having a nice girlfriend.

So why is there such a big difference between the cost of having a mother do these things and having a stranger do them? Well, maybe the strangers have an expertise in their niche that makes it worth paying more.

But let’s be a little more controversial. Why is it that no third party would pay the husband an additional $134,000 for the wife’s services? The answer is because the services only have value to the husband, the children and, importantly, the wife herself. Who gets the primary value out of a clean house? The wife who’s there all day. Who gets value out of smart kids that grow up to be rich? The parents who are taken care of in their old age. Who profits from kids who are taken to soccer practice? The mom who gets a break and gets to socialize with other mothers, the kids who get exercise, and the dad whose kids go to college on a soccer scholarship. Why does a stranger have to be paid to do those things? Because otherwise he or she gets no value out of them.

So why does the husband get $50,000 for his job and the wife get nothing? Because his job is “worth” $50,000 - someone outside the family gets $50,000 worth of value out of it, and is therefore willing to pay that. Taking care of your own family benefits your own family - but only marginally benefits anyone else. Therefore mothers are “worthless” economically - a fact which is demonstrated clearly by the fact that no one is paying them.

But of course you can’t measure things like “a mother’s love for her children” in cash. And this entire exercise ignores all the values of motherhood that have nothing to do with money. And in truth, a mom is not worth $134,000, or $50,000, or $0. A mom is priceless.

By joy

May 5, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

I think it’s a shame stay at home mom,is worht six figures, come on what happen to all the money back in the 60’s and early 70’s when women had to stay at home and live off the there husband made,those women had it very hard these stay at home moms today that just bull, They drive vans suv’s sit in carpool lines at school’s and raise hell, 60’s& 70’s had to walk there children to school or just stand out in the front yard and watch them walk down the street to school or till they get out of there eye sight, they didn’t have cars at all they raise those children with good value’s,and respect, now these stay out home mom with the six figuers please teach your children how to act and raise them with values because we can tell the different it should be about doing the love respect values not about money and not for pay.

By Robin

May 5, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

Hello,

I don’t know what a Mom’s salary should be. It seems that a mother’s work is NEVER finished.

I do know that it is easier to be a stay at home Mom than to work outside the home. Those of us Moms who have to work STILL have to do all the things the stay at home Moms do. We have much less time to do them in!

Now don’t go thinking I am dissing stay at home moms. I am NOT! I wish I could be one!

I am just saying that working Mom’s have it even harder than stay at home Moms.

By Robin

May 5, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

I have a friend who used to live in Australia. She has 5 children. Australia pays mothers to stay home with their children.

How about that?

By fk

May 5, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

Are some of you getting defensive? I think this topic is a touchy one for those parents who choose not to be stay at home parents. Sure, there are many who cannot afford life on one salary, that’s life. Please, do not forsake the value of those who choose to do without in order to be home with their children, or those who can afford not to work.

I have a few really good friends who admit that they felt guilty working fulltime instead of being at home. They all said the same thing, they couldn’t afford not to work, but a few said that even if they could, they weren’t capable of doing it. Let’s face it, some people are not cut out to do some jobs, and a stay-at-home-parent is one of them. I do think that many overlook the value of a stay at home parent.

There are no breaks being a stay at home parent, not even to go to the bathroom, no lunch break. Believe me, there were times I would have welcomed time where I could sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic alone and listen to easy music. You are on call 24/7/365 and everyone wants a piece of you. You are everything, the cook, the nanny, the chauffeur, the nurse, the therapist, the accountant, the mediator, the tutor, the playmate, etc.

You don’t have the novelty of taking 1/2 day off to get your nails done and a massage, or take in a round of golf, an afternoon baseball game, etc., or do the food shopping solo because the kids are at daycare. Every one of my working friends sent their kids to daycare on Monday holidays, at least for half a day, so that they could have some time alone.

You are the first one up each morning, and the last to go to bed. And, just when you think you can relax as you hit the hay, the biggest child of all is in bed next to you, all ready to play!

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. The best decision I ever made was to give up my career. There is no monetary bonus that could ever be worth more than the hug, the kiss or the sigh of relief when my child came home after a tough day at school, or the days when he had won an award, to see me waiting for him.

By reality check

May 5, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this

Do they pay those Australia women $134,000 Robin?

By Muffin

May 5, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this

I am a SAHM who homeschools her children. My husband works around 60 hours a week so I do almost everything around the house. I agree that working mothers have things to do after work but many of them also eat out more often or pick up an almost ready meal from the grocery store. I cook our meals from scratch so my children will be healthier. I teach my children because I do not look at the school system as a free babysitter. I am tired of working mothers who think that stay at home moms just have so much extra time in their days. I had a job before I got married. I had adult conversations, went out to lunch and got a paycheck. Alot of times as a stay at home mom you do not get a “Good job”. Instead you just hear working mothers who say that they have it worse. Some moms have to work but not all of them. Try to keep in mind that there are many stay at home moms who actually take care of children, house chores and their husband. We do not all drive huge SUV’s to get our nails done.

By singlemom

May 5, 2006 10:34 AM | Link to this

I get so tired of the stay at home moms vs the working moms. I just would love to have the CHOICE. I would have loved to have been able to stay at home until my child started school, then I would have worked a part time job, and be home in the afternoons, that was my plan. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out for me and I HAVE to work in order to maintain my homes, car, put food on the table, and clothes on our backs, etc…Just to have the choice would have been nice. I’m not bitter, I am in a much better place post-divorce that I really doubt I would be in had hubby stayed. However, I love my job and wouldn’t give it up for anything, been with the same company for 14 years now. I think I have done a great job working a full time job and raising my child alone. Luckily I only have one child, I don’t know if I could have done it alone with more children.

I am very envious of stay at home moms, who have husbands that make enough money to support their family, because I have really struggled along the way. But then, I love my job and the adult interaction I have on a daily basis. I think it keeps me sane….

By abc

May 5, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

Everyone’s earning capability is equal to exactly what someone is willing to pay them, no more, no less.

By Prootwadl

May 5, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

It’s an interesting number, and it certainly illustrates how much work an at-home mother has to do (and how varied the required skillsets are), but I think it’s a little unfair to only evaluate them in that manner.

I’d like to see everyone evaluated in that way, since everyone has a live above and beyond their defined “job” in the workplace.

First of all, efforts in the workplace are not always as compartmentalized as job titles. I know a number of people who go above and beyond in their normal jobs during the normal work day, performing tasks which have little or no bearing on their formal work responsibilities, and yet those folks are only “worth” what the employer pays them in salary. In reality, they should be worth a lot more.

I also know folks who are childless, but who spend as much time helping others or doing other kinds of “work” during their “off hours” as they spend doing their formalc career-related tasks during their paid hours.

Shouldn’t all of that effort be credited to them in the same way?

Face it — there are a lot of people out there who should be making a six-digit salary based on the level of effort they are willing to put out day after day!

By abc

May 5, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

Again, you’re worth what someone is willing to pay you. By definition, what your monetary worth is what it’s worth to the party receiving services. Supply and demand… by that measure, teachers are paid appropriately, as are rocket scientists, etc. CEOs seem to have a different deal.

By Sarah McCarthy

May 5, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

Muffin,

95% of the households on my street are Stay At Home mothers. Most of them do not cook diner every night, they also go out to diner on weekends. Many have admitted to having leftovers for diner and I know they buy food “ready for the oven”.

I usually prepare meals that will last for two days. We’re not big on leftovers. However, I do cook most weekends. I also bake cookies for my childs class, go on field trips (using vacation time) and visit my childs school regularly.

Don’t get me wrong, but your job is NOT anymore important than mine.

By sd

May 5, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

I have had the wonderful experience of raising a child from 8 months until now, age 4, alone, with no assistance from the government. I have been the sole provider. A stay at home working mother has the ability to schedule her own working hours. She is able to work around the house work. I work outside the home for 10hrs daily and manage my work at home. No one can put a price on a mother that works outside the home. In my case, I put the roof over our head, pay all bills, including after school, grocery, etc. The mothers that work outside the home, I commend all of you. And yes, I am one of them. We are priceless.

By Cletus Snow

May 5, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this

All salary requirements should be stated prior to employment.That being said, MOMS are priceless, as are DADS.

By Reader

May 5, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

I think one time having figures like this would come in handy would be to confront a chauvanistic man, who believes that because his wife doesn’t bring home a check her opinion doesn’t count as much as his. I knew a man who wouldn’t give up the Mustang NOR the Camaro NOR the Corvette in order for his wife and child to have a car to ride in more suited to a baby seat. His words: “When she earns the money to buy a car, then she can decide what kind of car to buy.” Well, needless to say, that guy is now an ex-husband!!

By Luvmymom

May 5, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

The whole article is a joke to those dad and mom’s that carry a job to financially support our family. Stay at home mom’s in the modern world are a “copout” afraid of the real world job force. I care for my kids for three months of the year and yes, I also get the groceries, wash/fold the clothes, clean the house, etc. completely during this time and find the job not only rewarding since I am there with my beloved children but also easy in comparison to my job as a high school teacher that also has extracurricular duties while simultaneously getting additional education to receive pay raises. I am a doting father and see my summer’s with the chores listed above as a vacation! It is actually fun most of the time (except grass stains!). The value should be more like $5.15 times 5 hours per day times 7 days per week. It is an unskilled job based on economic criteria so figure the “true” at $9,373.00 per year. Stay at home mothers need not respond since you are biased and are attempting to over value your job. Let’s hear from someone logical that works and understands what the economics would really apply….Why do the wealthy hire illegals below minimum wage to do the same job? Certainly they aren’t paying six digits!!! That is a joke.

By DC Peach

May 5, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

I have to agree we are worth this amount and then some, so when they decide to pay us for all the sick days, scraped knees, chicken pox, birthday parties, visits to the dentist. Please let me know. By the way did they think about how much gas and mielage we used also. Man we would all be rich!! LOL

By Craig

May 5, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

Stay-at-home moms are worthless. If driving Johnny to practice in a Suburban commanded a six figure sum, my mom, who successfully raised two children while maintaining a career, should be a millionaire.

By thatisscary

May 5, 2006 01:08 PM | Link to this

Luvmymom - You’re a high school teacher? You do understand that the plural of summer is “summers”, not “summer’s”, right? And that “over value” should be “overvalue”? And that one should use “who”, not “that”, when referring to a person - i.e., “someone logical WHO”. Normally I leave the grammar the hell alone. However, this comment telling us how valuable and challenging your paid work is creates the best possible advertisement for the value of educated homeschooling moms — or would that be “homeschooling mom’s”, in your bizzare grammar world? Wow, I feel really good knowing that my tax dollars - or my husband’s tax dollars - are paying for you to enlighten society’s children. Why don’t you work some more on your simultaneous education to receive pay raises. Maybe there’s a class on grammar or spelling.

This article on the “value” of work done is just saying, “Hey, good job moms! The work you do has value too!” Why are people like Luvmymom so threatened by the amount given? The amount is meaningless anyway.

By Jess

May 5, 2006 01:11 PM | Link to this

Just asking…when did the term “stay at home mom” or SAHM come about. Not too long ago I think they were called House Wives. Why did the term change? Is it cooler to be considered a sahm than a house wife?

By fed up

May 5, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

Okay, if you’re going to be rude, so am I. There’s no such thing, Craig, as successfully raising children while maintaining a career. If you are working outside of the home, then someone else is raising your children, period. So there. I apologize to all the moms out there who are working their butts off to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads, but someone else is raising their children for the better part of everyday. The children may be happy, they may be thriving, but someone else is raising them, and that’s a fact.

By Bob

May 5, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

To respond to thatisscary’s question: why an acerbic reaction to giving a figure? Here’s why I think the reaction was generally negative:

I’m (obviously) in group number 2, though maybe also groups 3 and 4.

By singlemom

May 5, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

Sorry Fed UP - no one else is RAISING my child. I am doing that thank you. Someone may have “Kept” her when she was smaller, so I could work, but I am the one instilling values, morals, etc. and as far as I know that is raising a child. I would love the chance to be a stay at home mom - but being a single parent, I would rather have a roof over our heads, and food on the table. Therefore I have to work. And by the way, after working a 40 hour week, fighting traffic 5 days a week, I still manage to grocery shop, cook 6 meals a week at home, pack lunches for both of us, and do all the other stuff involved with owning a home and raising a child, and spend just about every waking hour with my child. So don’t tell me someone else is RAISING my kid!!!!

By Craig

May 5, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

Fed up, you are wrong.

By reality check

May 5, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

Fed up, you are wrong. There are many women - and single dads like me - who successfully raise children while maintaining a career.

There’s your fact, fed up. So what if they have to have help? If your way works for you, fine, but there are many different circumstances and no one way to achieve success. If the kids are happy and thriving who are you to pass judgment?

By Tiffany

May 5, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

I think this is a big joke. Should stay at home moms be paid for being a mother? No, you made the choice to have a child and you should not be paid for taking on the responsibility of raising it. I wonder how much these women think they should get paid for watching Days of Our Lives or any other soaps. Imagine how easy you have it being a stay at home mother nowadays. Washing machines, dryers, dish washers, and many many more modern day conveniences make life as a stay at home mom very easy. And don’t give me that crap about cooking, cleaning and other things. 80% of Americans eat out at least 5 times a week. I just really don’t look at raising a child as a job and if you do you should not have had children in the first place!!!!!

By singlemom

May 5, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

Also, Fed-Up, While I am working my child is in (high) school. I don’t think the educators are raising my child. They are educating her. And when she was younger, yes she did stay with a neighbor after school, for maybe 30 minutes until I got home. I don’t think my neighbor was raising my child for 30 minutes a day. You are so very wrong and I wonder how many kids you have.

By Bobby Elrod

May 5, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this

So when is someone going to calculate what us dad’s should be paid? Lawn Work, Car Repair, House Repairs, Our share of the chores, and watching the kids, etc…

By Bob

May 5, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

Excellent point, Tiffany. Why doesn’t a mother get paid for raising her kids? Because they’re her kids.

Same reason I would have to pay someone to wash my car, but don’t get paid for doing it myself.

By Denise

May 5, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this

What about Stay At Home Dads (SAHD)? Are they worth the same amount? or more?

By Mike

May 5, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this

When did parents become victims? If you can’t handle the drudgery of raising kids, don’t have kids. Get a dog. Better yet, get a silk plant. You can stay at home or work. All you need to do is dust the thing occasionally. Or throw it out and get a different one. Good grief!

By reality check

May 5, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this

Good question, Denise, but stay at home dads aren’t interested in nonsense like this.

By Muffin

May 5, 2006 02:27 PM | Link to this

The dollar amount given has no value. It does say to a SAHM or housewife that they are valued. If you do not value stay at home moms that’s fine. I would be sure that they have a husband who does find value in what they do. I am here for my children or husband at any time of the day or night. I don’t have work problems on my mind or not enough time when someone needs me.

My mother was a SAHM and always told me that the work that she did was not valued. She also worked once I was in high school and said that staying home is more difficult. That is because working moms have little value for us and pawn their children or errands off onto us. 30 minutes here and there add up.

There are alot of parents who must work and have no choice but there are so many who work to buy another SUV or larger house. As many stay at home moms will tell you, sometimes you could stay at home if you tried. This is not to single mothers. I know that you can’t.

Since it is so close to Mother’s Day we should all remember that ALL mothers work hard. We just have different jobs and are in different places in our lives.

By singlemom

May 5, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this

@Muffin - I couldn’t have said your last paragraph any better. You hit it on the head.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day to all the Moms, and honor your own Mothers as well……I will be hosting a Mother’s Day cookout at my house for 20 with my VERY SPECIAL MOTHER as honoree.

I would not be the mother I am, if she (and my father) had not set a good example of parenting. Both my parents worked very professional jobs, and my father travelled alot. My father was a psychologist (now deceased) and my mother was a nurse and worked with cancer patients and worked her way up the ladder and became a very well respected leader in the nursing community. She even went back to school and got her Master’s degree in nursing when she was 42, on top of working a 40-50 hour week at the hospital and raising two kids, (with help from my father too). She deserves the very best.

By getreal

May 5, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this

Fed up, Get real. That is some delusional idea that some women have so they can view themselves as a martyr because they “put their children first over themselves and careers” <>. Puhleeze. That must mean that you home school your children as well?
The overall goal for any parent is to raise wonderful children who are attributes to society. SAHMs hold no advantage over working mothers in this regard.
So get over yourself. Save the martyrdom for Mother Theresa.

By Sabrina

May 5, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this

Fed Up - You’re an idiot.

Muffin - I am a single mom, but even if I were married to my daughter’s father - I would still choose to work. My grandmother was a Stay at Home mom and I watched how my grandfather doled out the money. That was enough to make me go to work everyday and I wouldn’t stop, unless “I” hit the lottery. Notice that I said if “I” hit the lottery.

Both my parents worked and raised two college educated daughters. My mother still works today, she’s retiring with full benefits in 2 years. Why did she choose to continue working? She likes spending her own money.

Not only that but my daughters in the Gifted Program, never makes less than A’s, participates in several extracurricular activities and gets a healthy meal each day.

I wouldn’t give up my career for anything. The only burden in my career is finding a man who earns more.

By abc

May 5, 2006 04:19 PM | Link to this

Sabrina, why do you require a man who makes more money than you do?

By Lilburn Parent

May 5, 2006 04:49 PM | Link to this

@Muffin: I agree with you for the most part!

I however believe that most SAHM are worth MORE than that $ amount initially listed.

When I was at home with our youngest… I most certainly became a jill-of-all-trades. I took care of some much… I was on the verge of burn-out. It is an incredibly hard job. I applaud all who make the sacrifice.

By Lilburn Parent

May 5, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this

Oops! Dang typos… “some much” should be “so much”

By thatisscary

May 5, 2006 06:27 PM | Link to this

Bob - Hey, thanks. You make some good points. I agree that the number itself is ridiculous and without meaning. How much life insurance does your spouse have on you, stay-at-home parents? That’s probably a good idea of your real economic value, and it’s probably pretty low.

That said, though, I still don’t understand why people are so venomous about the basic idea that SAHMs have any value at all, monetary or otherwise. I believe a couple of people said SAHMs are worthless. I guess that’s their own little soapbox and they take any opportunity to jump on it, for whatever reason.

Anyway, Bob, thanks for your thoughtful answer/comments.

By Becky

May 8, 2006 09:11 AM | Link to this

The only problem I have with this ‘study’ is that it almost ignores the fact that working mothers do all of that stuff PLUS work a full time job.

By Jess

May 8, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Right on Becky! Its really hard being a working mom. Iwish I could stay at home, I always try to defend myself and comeup with good reasons why I have to work and that my child is doing well in daycare. Which he is for the most part. It really hurts when people say that I am not raising my child. I am, but just in a different manner than others. I wish I could be at home with him and I envy sahms so much! So I would like to thank all the rude and judgemental people out there for making me feel like crap about my decitions.

By Ga_Tech_92

May 9, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this

Here are my thoughts on this topic.

Rule number one: Not every SAHM is worthless, not all are priceless. I’ve known both sorts. The same can be said of SAHDads.

Single parents obviously have very little choice in the matter. Either they stayed in an unhealthy relationship, which sent a horrible message to their kids….or….they became single and had to miss out on the possibility of being a stay at home parent.

For working parents to condemn stay-at-home parents, is silly. See Rule number one. For stay-at-home parents to condemn working parents (especially single ones), is silly. See Rule number one.

From my experience, I was very fortunate to have the LUXURY of staying at home with my son from the age of 6 months till around 18 months. I worked IT jobs remote on my laptop and brought home about as much money as my wife (at the time, now ex). I always felt that I was a perfect stay at home person because there was no “honey do list” required. I did the “guy work” and the “mom work” and the LUXURY of knowing my son was well taken care of and getting to share those special moments with him “steps..words…etc” was priceless. To be able to stay at home, in my experience, is a NO BRAINER, it’s a priceless luxury from my experience. Now I’m a single dad and work full time (no free ride here, must pay the rent) and I am the one to pick up my son, make dinner (can’t afford to eat out), clean up, give bath, brush toothies, read book, tuck in for bed…then usually I plan on some “me time” but I fall asleep exhausted.

My logic goes this way: I’ve never made six figures doing anything and I’m usually pretty well thought of at whatever I do, so it’s not for lack of skill or effort. I’ve also worked without a child. I’ve worked and raised a child. I’ve stayed home with a child. Of all the options, I wouldn’t hesitate to be a stay home person if I had a partner who supported this and could afford it. Therefore, since I’ve never made six figures and would pick staying home to experience the special things in life 100% of the time…I would have to conclude that there is no way a stay at home person is worth six figures….unless every parent who really is a good parent is priceless.

Pet peeve: IN closing a pet peeve of mine is when I hear stay at home parents fussing about how hard it is and how much easier it would be working. Let me tell you, anyone who has ever done both will probably gladly swap places with you…this tends to imply that your just whining and probably have it made by most peoples standards. If anyone is a stay at home parent now and would like to work instead and who believes a stay at homer is worth six figures…just let me know…I’ll switch with you anytime…you’ve got it made!

Bless all kids and moms and dads…never ever forget good dads are important too…many of them silently wish they could see all those precious moments with their kid…first steps…first words…but they know someone has to work…so they sacrifice the most precious things in life in the name of “being the provider”…sometimes it’s the truly thankless job. I’ve been lucky enough to have tried all angles (worked, not worked, parented, not parented) so I think I’m uniquely qualified to conclude for myself.

/thanks for listening