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DEL.ICIO.USAre you having more sex than the average?
You may be doing better than you think!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It seems like husbands are always the first to complain that they’re not getting it enough – but what is enough? How do you know how you compare to other married couples? Maybe you’re actually getting lucky a lot? Well, here’s some help figuring out where you stand.
According to an article in the May 2006 edition of Esquire magazine, the national average for men having sex is 58 times a year.
The article doesn’t tell us how they arrived at that number. Since it offers no explanation, I am assuming it includes married and singles. I avoided stats class in college, but wouldn’t that number be the same for women? I guess not if they were including man-on-man sex as well, but it doesn’t specify on that either.
Nevertheless, I like this number because we are, thankfully, above it.
The article goes on to say that the more often a man has sex, the longer he will live. (Oh boy, I can hear the argument now, “But honey if you want me to live longer, you’ll do it with me!)
It says that if a man has sex 116 times a year, he will add 1.6 years to his life. If he has sex 350 times a year, he will add 8 years. (That’s got to be with different women because even the nicest wives aren’t putting out that much.)
Alice, the MOMania researcher, found a bunch of other fun sex stats for us, but I’m going to wait and dole those out later.
Tell us how your number compares to the national average and if your husband thinks your number is acceptable or too low. Remember you’re anonymous – I’m the one with my name and photo at the top of the page.
Permalink | Comments (267) | Categories: Battles between Mom and Dad
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By trudy
April 19, 2006 07:12 AM | Link to this
Does sex mean actual intercourse? Or just ejaculation? Because a man could reach the 8 year goal all by himself, if you know what I mean ;)
A sidebar on anonymity—how anonymous are we on this board, really? Because, Theresa, I have seen you “out” people’s various monikers on a couple of occassions. Just sayin’
By smomma
April 19, 2006 08:06 AM | Link to this
Morning all,
Ok…since Theresa is the one who brought this up, I have a question that isn’t very appropriate to ask people but I really have been curious to know. Like I said, since Theresa brought it up…..Ok, here goes (I can’t believe I am actually going to post this) How many positions do you and your partner use? My Husband and I have about 8 that we frequently use. So, out of curiosity…is 8 alot, or are we boring?
By Joe
April 19, 2006 08:15 AM | Link to this
Oh wow, this topic was somewhat of a shocker! One way to perk up my morning :-) I just hope that the browser’s subject heading does not set off any alarms back in the IT room. I guess I had better be careful what I write. Did I mention how knowledgeable and technically gifted the IT guy is??
Mrs. Joe and I are “above average” relative to the national mean. However, our intimate life is a shadow of its former self. I am sure that this is a normal phenomenon. However, it is not that we are hohum bored with our married existence. We still have an insanely volatile chemistry. The main obstacle is our 4-year-old, who will not go to sleep without her Mommy. She also has some kind of weird sex sense. I am not kidding. Especially when she was younger, she would sense intimacy and wake up screaming. There was even the one time, when she was 2, that she woke up, got out of bed, walked into the living room and stood observing for a moment before she announced her wailing presence. I pray that the episode is not remembered. Could you imagine???!!! Your parents naked and entwined as one of your earliest memories??!!
We are also having to be careful pawing at each other (ok…yes, I am the primary pawer). The kids are starting to notice. Problem is…we are a close knit family. Sometimes, I can get them engrossed in a DVD, but we do not banish them to a “kid’s room” on Saturday mornings or evenings. I am not sure how one pulls off spontaneous intimacy behind the veil of parenthood.
My youngest child does have her own bed, which she uses occassionally. Unfortunately, it is in our room. I have long given up the notion of sending her to bed in her own room (another windmill joust, Don Quixote?). I am now focused on just getting her to bed, her own, without being petted, sung to, read to, or otherwise attached to her Mother.
By distantALsavga
April 19, 2006 08:20 AM | Link to this
morning all, can’t wait till the crew fires up on this and then i will add my response, later.
By past50mom
April 19, 2006 08:28 AM | Link to this
Theresa, Your intros usually includes your own experiences, sooo…..you go first, then I will share : )
By Jason
April 19, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this
The wife and I get it on about 4+ times a week—sometimes more, sometimes less. A nice Saturday with no obligations might be 3 times on it’s own, but we both work and weekday nookie isn’t as frequent as it could be.
So for the year, I’m saying about 220 times. Toss in about 50 orals with that too.
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 08:34 AM | Link to this
Hey Trudy — I think I’ve outed two people in six months — one lady attacked my children and the other person said his kid had died (and I’m not completely sure that was true) — Plus we still don’t know their real names - I just pointed out their behavior under different log ons — so still anonymous —
Joe - We are also co-sleepers —our kids wonder in and out — They always start out in their own beds so as long as we’re done by 2 or 3 in the morning then we’re OK — We have been walked in on one time by our daughter who was trying to come into out bed — not only do we now lock our bedroom door, we put a coffee table up against it —
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 08:37 AM | Link to this
Past50mom - I did say my number was over the average — I had a little more detail than that last night and my husband freaked out so that’s all you’re gonna get —
Jason do you have kids??? I’m thinking you don’t YET— I’m also thinking you have a really nice wife!! Tell her she’s extended your life — and I’m not sure we can say the little o word — I’ll have to ask on that - it didn’t bleep it but the computer aint that bright
By jen
April 19, 2006 08:42 AM | Link to this
Okay I am not the usual female but I want it everyday 2 or 3 times a day. But my dh does not feel the same so all I can say is thank goodness for toys. So therefore, we are below average.
By Robin
April 19, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone!
Unfortunately, My Darling Husband and I are below the national average. OF course, the fact that our 17 month old daughter sleeps right in between us, has EVERYTHING to do with our lack of sex!
By Joe
April 19, 2006 09:03 AM | Link to this
For me, on a good week twice. My wife however, about once every ten days.
By myalibi
April 19, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this
Well we are definitely over the average, but of course my husband still complains. I think it is a natural male instinct to complain about it whenever he isn’t actually engaging in “relations” at that moment. I guess we average 2-3 times a week, with random 2-3 times a day (usually no kids home on those days) thrown in.
We lock the bedroom door when we are gettin down & dirty in there so we don’t have to worry about the kids walkin in. It is when we are doing the deed in front of the fireplace that we have to worry LOL
I specifically kept my kids in their own bed from the time they came home from the hospital (unless they were sick) so that I would not have to worry about them sleeping with us.
I’m going to call my hubby right now and let him know he is above the national average :o)
By Whatever
April 19, 2006 09:11 AM | Link to this
Jen. Women like you absolutely scare me. I was once involved with a woman who was like this. She could not even go to sleep at night until she got off. The problem with this type of woman was that she was quick to stoop to the level of cheating as well. This type of woman burns your insides because she is adamant about her “sex every day” (or however many times a day), and the first time you have to be away from her you wonder if she is out getting it from somewhere else, because after all SHE HAS TO HAVE IT, like a sickness. Knowing what I know now I could never get involved with a woman on a serious level who places so much stock in sex.
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 09:15 AM | Link to this
Robin — that will get better - you will be get less tired - it’s very hard to be excited about anything when you’re taking care of a baby —
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
Oh for the love of God in heaven…Theresa….I love you girl. This will be a fun day!!!! OK…sex….first of all, I LOVE it. And with three kids, time is an issue.. Recently, my mother has moved in with us. We built an addition for her, so she definitely has her own space. But as you can imagine….we have had to get pretty creative as of late. Keeping in mind that we are both in our 30’s…still very young and limber:) I would say our sex life is above the average. But only because we try….hard. We have on ocassion had to schedule the lovin’. Which was cool…there was no pretense…we knew we needed to get busy fast…something to be said for the quickie!! But are we including oral exams in this average? Because sometimes that is all we have time for. If I had to give a number, counting in orals, I would say 3 times a week….average. Do we dare even explore locations???? In truth, our bedroom sees very little action:)
By bug
April 19, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this
we may be close to average but my wife continues to try to tell me we are above average. O magic has all but ceased, few positions to boot. She wants me to believe I’ve got it better than most men - I don’t know - if these posts are honest, I’m thinking something is awry. Summary - below average. My age=39, wife age = 32, kids 12 and 8.
By Praying & Hoping
April 19, 2006 09:19 AM | Link to this
I am not married but as a single my sex count per year is drastically low. I am praying and hoping that one day I get married and have all joys that come with it.
By SingleDad
April 19, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this
I would just about kill to have a wife that was adament about having sex everyday. My new wife (hence, I’m not SingleDad anymore) and I have 5 kids between us ages 6, 10, 14, 17 and 20. We average about 4 times a week. I would love it if she would just go into a sexual frenzy all day on the weekends, but reality steps in. Multiple times a day is icing on the cake, but it’s always once and we’re done. I am very happy as I love my wife and not everything’s gonna be just like I want it. The kids are absolutely NOT allowed in our bedroom (even during the day)and especially if the door is closed. Rules like that add to a little structure and guidelines. I am much more open minded and adventurous, while my wife is capable of ‘getting off” 3 or 4 times during our lovemaking. Doing it once just gets my blood circulating and makes me even more eager. Alas, compromises must be made and I do it wholeheartedly because of our love for each other. In spite of that, even my wife says “Once every three days isn’t enough”. I guess I should count my lucky stars.
By Lmay
April 19, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this
I have visited this blog a few times and thought it had some interesting topics, however, this one is just over the line, Theresa, this is the last time I will visit your blog, if I wanted to be in a sex chat I would log onto the internet on some other site. Why did you have to take a nice daily chat and turn it into something trashy. No one else needs to know about your personal sex life. And how many times a week you have an intimate relationship with your partner is very private thing and the number of times is different for everyone and “okay” for each individual couple. It doens’t mean anyone is normal or not normal. Anyways, you have just lost a fellow blogger…….Enjoy yourself
By SingleDad
April 19, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this
Incidentally, “oral exams” are absolutely fabulous! Oh yes, and I’m the giver. Receiving is nice, but I would much prefer the doing the giving and my wife appreciates that.
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this
Lmay….can you say PRUDE??? My God, if you don’t like the topic…here’s a thought. Wait for it……don’t comment! Or better yet, once you view the topic title…move on skippy!
By SingleDad
April 19, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this
Lmay, relax and be open minded a little. Look around you, this subject is the topic in many books, magazine articles and constantly presented to us on the TV. Hence, it is more important in most peoples lives then it obviously is in yours.
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this
I am sorry that Lmay is offended - not trying to be offensive — actually think this can be constructive for marriages — put things into perspective for both parties — also would like to say that this week is our 6-month anniversary here at at MOMania and we’ve only had sex as a topic once - so I don’t think we’ve tried to be salacious (spelling) —
Single Dad — I tend to read fast— did you say 4 times a week?? ANd you want it more?? I think she’s doing great — holy cow!! again I’m bad at math but that’s over 200 times a year — way, way over the national average — I think that’s a great wife!!
By jen
April 19, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this
Yes I like sex but I don’t have to have it before I go to sleep. Do I prefer it heck yes but I have learned to take care of myself and that solves any problems. Whatever if I scare you that just means you can’t take it.
By Dave
April 19, 2006 09:36 AM | Link to this
Sex….before I was married 2-3 times a week…after marriage 3-4 times every 6 months…..I guess I married a NUN, oops I mean NONE.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this
Theresa, I’m glad you brought this up! My wife and I have this conversation all the time. Based on the stats given by Esquire, we are waaaayyyyy over the national average. We were beginning to wonder if we were freaks or something. Fifty-eight times a year? OMG, I would explode if that’s all I got a year!
@smomma 8 positions sounds about right!
Wifey and I are more along the lines of Jason. We probably do it about 250 times a year! And we’ve been doing this since we’ve been married and we’ve been married almost 9 years.
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this
Whatever….Jen’s ideal world is one we all want to live in. I would LOVE to make love with my husband multiple times day and every night! Who doesn’t want that? But real life has a tendency of not catering to our fantasies. Lay off Jen. She is brave enough to say what we all really want. It isn’t necessarily more sex we all crave….but more intimacy. Go get some…intimacy that is:)
By Captain Sparrow
April 19, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this
This is laughable:
“It says that if a man has sex 116 times a year, he will add 1.6 years to his life. If he has sex 350 times a year, he will add 8 years.”
Yeah well what they DON’T tell you is that if a man stays married to the same nagging hag woman he almost always dies before she does.
Regarding sex, so long as there’s porn, this single guy doesn’t need a woman for intercourse.. along the lines of what “trudy” said at the top. Besides, I’m saving a boatload of money (literally as I can actually afford a boat now), don’t have to listen to constant b!tching and nagging, and don’t have to worry about what I’ll say after busting my @ss all day at work that will be taken the wrong way at home.
By GB
April 19, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this
twice since Jan 1, 2006. I’m 48, husband is 40.
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this
Captain Sparrow….sounds like you need to sail your boat to Amsterdam. They only nag if you pay them.
By jen
April 19, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this
That was good Jesse’s Girl
By smomma
April 19, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this
Dave - Ouch!! Did you say 3-4 times every 6 months?!? Sex is such a vital and healthy part of marriage. Perhaps there is something that needs to be resolved to boost your numbers. Are either of you on medication? Some medications can drastically impact sexual activity. In my marriage I have found that the better my husband and I are getting along the more often we have sex. When we are not communicating and not getting along we typically don’t “express our love” as often. Perhaps you and your wife are in need of counseling?
By TDub
April 19, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this
Twice since Jan 1, 2006? Damn, damn, Damn!
By N. Bluth
April 19, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this
smomma - Care to list the 8?? JK
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this
Oh lord —Me and Jsutin have woopee three to four times a day. We do it everywhere we can - Justin is so Crazy and a wild stallion. He is a beast!!
By Homeschool Mom
April 19, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this
18+ years of marriage, we’re both 40;2 boys ages 13 and 15 and we have sex at least 5 times per week…looking forward to it gets me through the day! I’ve always figured we were above the average (at least we seem to be with those we know) so my Hubby is much envied among the guys at work!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
People need to be wild and crazy its good for life!! I going to go wake up Justin now— All this talk is making me crazy!! Bye you all!!
By Whatever
April 19, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this
Well I guess I should set the record straight. First of all I do enjoy sex and have had great intimacy throughout my adult life. I have also been very fortunate to have had a pretty adventurous sex life to this point in my life (I am mid 30’s). I guess I just see life nowadays as so much more serious than sex, as it seems so many are making a big deal about it on this blog. Many of you seem so sex starved. This is something that my wife and I don’t even make a big deal about. No averages, no counts. Just if there is a feeling for it, do it. If not, let’s just enjoy the day that we have been given as the great friends that we are along with our kids. We really have a no pressure relatonship that flows quite well in all aspects. We rarely disagree about anything and never sweat sex especially.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
That’s what I’m talking bout, Tamika!
By GB
April 19, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
Tdub…yes, twice since 1/1…and we are worn out from it
By Captain Sparrow
April 19, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this
Hey Jesse’s ’80s Girl…
Amsterdam is a little far. Besides, the amount of drugs Amsterdamers use makes South Americans look like a church choir.
I’m thinking of a nice Brazilian woman off the coast of South America. I have given up looking in North America for a decent woman.
By Homeschool Mom
April 19, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this
Almost forgot…as far as positions…let me suggest a deck of cards that we got at Starship on Memorial Dr…used them last night when we couldn’t decide…just shuffle the deck and one of you draws a card…definitely makes you try new things :)
By smomma
April 19, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this
N. Bluth - lol…I don’t mind sharing (albeit in a mild non-titillating way) if you really want to know.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this
smomma-Now I’ve got to hear this!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this
Wow I need a Cigarette now—- Lord Oh Lord- I tell you that man is Crazy.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this
Wow that was fast Tamika!
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this
Capn’….I bet you play Halo!:)Seriously…on behalf of all the women who have chewed you up and spit you out, I apologize. Obviously someone has really burned you. Have you ever considered a singles night somewhere? Some churches have them with no obligation to join said church. Also, I am in the process of helping my mother register at eharmony.com. It looks pretty cool! Maybe you should try something like that. And don’t bother looking outside the U.S….there are plenty of women crossing our border as we speak!
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this
Homeschool Mom - I want some cards!! But, I have to ask, are they graffic? Or do they show the posistion in a non-porny way?
By SingleDad
April 19, 2006 10:03 AM | Link to this
My first wife did the same thing. Before marrage it was most every night. On the honeymoon, it was once during that week in the islands. After that, it was once or twice every month or so. We entered counceling and she decided I was a sex addict. We went to a specialist and he told me on our last session (after many group sessions) “You’ve been duped”. She actually told me once that we couldn’t do it because she wasn’t ovulating. I started wondering, “Man, I must be AWFUL in bed!” My current wife, after we dated for 5 years told me the exact opposite. I think it all boils down to the intimacy (not the sex, obviously)you see between your parents. If you are shown that intimacy and the resulting benefits are not dirty, nasty and an act for the men to enjoy and the woman to endure, you have a more open outlook on everything. It’s very connecting, brings the two of you closer, plus it feels great and can be loads of fun. Try it, you might like it.
By trudy
April 19, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this
@CS You may end up sticking with your tug boat, Cap’n. Brazilian women nag, but the accent makes it sound sexy.
By Heather
April 19, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this
Ok, I’m single mom w/2 kids ages 5 & 2. My significant other will be moving in by the end of the month and I have to say, we are above the national average. Heck, I think we’ve already beaten the average in 2006 alone! The weekends when the kids are with their dad, clothing is not an option. We usually get out of bed to eat then back we go! I’d say on average 3 times a week, but the kid free weekends, at least 6 times. Add oral and he’s a very very happy man.
I too hope this subject time won’t get me in trouble with my IT department but I’m willing to come back and check the responses today!
By hot_mama
April 19, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
When we are getting along its about every 2 or 3 days. Hubby wants it every day, and complains regularly that its not enough. And by it I mean he wants me to make him climax, and not through intercourse. I would prefer to have s-x every other day, but he seems to prefer the other which isn’t as fun for me. I have noticed something interesting - if we are having an argument and I still fool around with him then he seems to think the problem/issue is gone.
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this
Ok I will post a few. It sounds like Homeschool Mom could teach me a few things though! Most of them are pretty standard. Missionary(of course), Cowboy, reverse cowboy, doggy, (I don’t really know the name for the rest) the one where you make a letter “T”, doggy where you lay down on your side(great for when you just want to sleep but your husband really needs it), missionary off the bed( women hanging off bed, man standing up - very good for double stimulation as the man’s hands are free and there is easy access), then standing-up. Those are our regulars.
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this
Sharman— How do you use a Tug Boat— Does that not hurt?
People Should have alot of Jinga Junga.
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
@ Smomma….I predict some hate posts directed at you today. How dare you describe “hands free-easy acces”:) Email me the rest please!!!!
By jahnusy
April 19, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this
OK I picked a great day to pop in to AJC fa sho! My man and I, are waaaaaaay above average. I mean honestly i demand it every day. I tell him he gets one week a month off, and i mean that. Saturday/Sunday all day. I try to have the kids out of the house on the weekends(we have 4yr old twins) because though they will not bust in, you will hear a series of “ILL i think they’re kissin! Yuck and giggles”.. which are not condusive to X rated experience at all. But yeah i get to go home and tell him i’ve added 8 plus years to his life. I sure am glad i gotta young one (he - 26 me -35) cause i haven’t even hit my stride yet and I’d hate for him to burn out.
By Margaret
April 19, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this
This is a disgusting and Sinful topic
You all should be ashamed of your selves— There is no need to Bring your bedroom into Public. God will punish those that Sin—
This is so bad and disgusting.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this
smomma-the one where you make a “T”? I’ve never heard of that one!
By Homeschool Mom
April 19, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
The cards are “porny” at all and were only like $5…now if I can just convince my hubby that we REALLY don’t have a good place to hang a sex swing :)
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
guys —I’m really not sure we’re allowed to say that about the positions — I need to talk with my boss — i gave you a good topic— dont’ get me fired —!!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
What is the national Average?
By Homeschool Mom
April 19, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this
The cards aren’t “porny” at all and were only like $5…now if I can just convince my hubby that we REALLY don’t have a good place to hang a sex swing :) that the boys won’t notice…plus the dog sleeps in the bedroom with us and he might look at us rather oddly :)
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this
And yet Margaret you are here too!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this
Magaret— You are crazy Girl!!
Sounds like you need a man in your life and the I think you would be Sinning all the time too then!!
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this
Oops! Sorry Theresa!
By hot_mama
April 19, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this
Before my current hubby I loved s-x more and wanted it every day. Needless to say I picked him for reasons other than being a good lay. Anyway - See all you other “sinners” on the road to h-e-l-l!
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this
Jesse’s Girl - LOL! Bring on the hate. I have never been shy about my sex life and I am always more than happy to share when people ask. Sex is so important in marriage and I can’t tell you how many times I have given my friends advice on sex.
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:26 AM | Link to this
Well Miss Tamika has 890 sexes a year
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this
Theresa - oops sorry!! no more position talk! promise!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this
Sex is the foundation of a good long lasting marriage— It makes me happy and Justin happy— I just hope his Juliga Juliga— Never goes limpy pimpy!
Shout out to all the Lovers out there
Margaret get to church you heathan!!
By Bill
April 19, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this
only 11 times in the last 16 months….boy does in inhale rapidly….she could go forever without it…sure makes it hard on me
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this
thank you!
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this
Oh Margaret. I honestly feel so very very sorry for you.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this
@Tamika 890 sexes a year? C’mon now shawty!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this
My sister has gone 5 years with out any Shakak Laka. Thats a long time!!!!!!!!!!
By Susie
April 19, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this
Well I’d say if you are both happy with how often, then there is no “correct” answer to how much is enough.
I have friends who just don’t want it and will make up any excuse to their husbands to get out of it. I can’t imagine, but it takes all kinds, I guess.
I can tell you that having kids didn’t slow my husband and me down. That’s the one thing that was juuuuuust fine, right up to the end of our marriage. :D Too bad you really can’t base a marriage just on physical chemistry alone!
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this
GB posted earlier and I’m wondering if Bill is in the same boat — she was 48 — I’m wondering if Bill’s wife is older — I really think for some women the sex drive is cylical (spelling) - based on the eb and flow of their cycles — and if the woman is pre-menopausal or menopausal and her hormones are getting lower than I think (not a doctor but love to play one) that could definitely lower her sex drive — GB do you think that’s part of what’s going on?
By Bill
April 19, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this
both early 40’s…wish I knew what to do to fix it…
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this
I agree with Susie. I mean it really doesn’t matter how much you and your mate does it, as long as both of you can deal with the lack of or the abundance of sex that you are getting. Now if one of the mates is wanting it all the time and the other doesn’t. Then they are setting themselves up for some serious problems down the line.
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this
TDub— My Justin and I are very very very active— sometimes 2-3 times in one hour.
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this
Ok ok…I just had to post this…but I am still giggling from Margaret’s “GOD WILL PUNISH THOSE WHO SIN!!!!!!!” you disgusting sinners, you! Ok, I gotta go finish my giggle fit now!
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this
Hey Bill — Well I think (again not a doctor) that hormone replacement could help that some — but here’s the kicker — lots of the hormone replacement therapy has been linked to some increases in cancer — so you could have your wife want to have sex more often but die sooner — that’s quite a trade off — Are there any other 40 or 50 something ladies that want to comment - have any of you experienced this?? Has anybody found a solution that doesn’t involve maybe a higher chance of some cancers??
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this
Well you go girl! Wait a minute…..is Justin a real guy or some “toy” you picked up at Starship, Loveshack, or my favorite….New York Video?
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this
I think we have gone a bit off topic here. Susie makes an excellent point. Every marriage is different. Some are very sexually compatible, while others are hit and miss. Men really do not have a clue as to what we go thru hormonally. And most of us are also the primary caretakers of the little ones. You’d be a mazed at how we have to psyche ourselves up at times! You guys are good to go without any transition phase. And your brains are very often unengaged during the actual act. Love making for us is very cerebral….our heads must be in the right place. And sometimes…no matter how much we want them to be…they just aren’t! So, there are many issues at hand for us gals. Perhaps if your woman is uninterested, you should look at the load she has on her shoulders. Are the kids demanding too much…are you? I can tell you right now….if Mr. Jesse helps me about the house, I get “excited”. When things are in order…it makes it a lot easier on me and my racing mind! Men….you know I love ya….but if you are unhappy with your personal average, you need to be a little introspective. You’d be amazed at how adventurous we can be when the wolves of everyday life aren’t constantly beating down our door!!!
By Margaret
April 19, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this
I do love MOST of the Mom topics—
But this one is out of line. It is Sinful to bring your bedroom life out into public. It is crude and disgusting. Plus most of the people now a day dont wait until marrige for Sex. That is so shamful in the eyes our our Lord.
Sinners
By buddy
April 19, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this
margaret, it is sinful to talk about sex with your spouse?!?!!?? this is not a public place , this is a private blog that you get on to talk, if you choose to. it is not on the front of the ajc for everyone to see, now that is public ! so maggie, you chose to cum here and cast stones, you better get to church, that is a sin my friend ! read your bible or whatever you are into . and if you are married, and not making love to your man, believe me, he resents you and is surely having thoughts of others !
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this
TDub— Justin is my hot beautiful husband for 21 GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT years!! I love you JUSTIN!!!!! I am Cray over that man like it was day one. That hottie ROCKS my world!!
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this
Now how is it “sinful” to bring your bedroom life out into the public? Explain that one to me please. I guess it’s also “sinful” to bring your kitchen life and well as your living room and garage life into the public too. “hey i was in my living room the other day watching TV” Oh oh I just “sinned”.
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this
Magaret Honie— What’s wrong— Sounds like you have not had Wanky Panky in awhile of if EVER!!
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this
Tamika- was just joking baby. That is great great great. Here’s to 21 more for you guys!
By buddy
April 19, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this
go home maggie !!!!! people do not get on sites that talk about things that they are not into. for insatnce ,i am a heterosexual, so i would not visit a lesbian site . i am not into sports, so i would not visit a sports site. you are not into this and you think it is sinful… so why are you here ????? if you usually like momania blogs, but this is not your thing… then why are you here and reading all this ? that is weird and so are you . you do not make common sense. go pray about judging people.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this
LOL @ Wanky Panky
By DPR
April 19, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this
Margaret, while you are thumping your Bible, could you check a little Biblical reference for me?
I think it’s along the lines of “judge not, lest ye be judged”…
Just a little food for thought!
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this
Guys be nice to margaret — it’s totally fine for her to think this out of line —
By TDub
April 19, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this
Amen, Buddy! Pun intended.
By Kym
April 19, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this
Theresa, you may have lost a blogger but you have gain one too. Hilarious topic and as the single parent of one busy 10 year-old I am below the national average during the winter months. My peak season is spring and summer so I will make up for it then. Now I am confused is the 58 times, 58 sessions of sex, which could lead to mulitple numbers of satisfaction, or is it just 58 sessions? Either way by summers end I should be all caught up.
By Margaret
April 19, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this
If you must know I am a married women with three children. But proclaiming you sex to the World is Hateful and Sinful in the eyes of the lord!!!
And yes Watching TV is Sinful too when we have Katrina Victims Suffering!!!
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this
DPR — where have you been? we haven’t seen you in a while — good to have you back
By Susie
April 19, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this
I’m gonna say something that will probably get me trashed here, but here goes: All these guys that only get it once a month or every six weeks, or 11 times in 16 months (!!!) I don’t understand how you stay married to someone like that.
If they have a medical condition, that keeps them from being able to have sex or whatever, then that’s one thing. If it’s hormonal, or depression, then there’s help for that.
I just always felt like as married people, we owed it to each other to be intimate whenever either one of us wanted to be. I guess I’ve been lucky, because unless I was truly ill, it was always a mutual thing for us. Maybe there’s something that I don’t know about that would make a woman not want to love her husband any more than 11 times in 16 months. For me it was about feeling close, and how can that be a bad thing? I just don’t get it.
And these women who gave it up on a daily basis before marriage and then closed up shop on the honeymoon? I think their husbands should have grounds for an annullment on grounds of fraud. I can’t TELL you how many people I know who have done this or have had wives who did it.
By smomma
April 19, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this
SINNERS You are all SINNERS!! Pray to your God(whomever that may be!) to forgive you for having sex with your spouse and then offering advice to help others with thier own sex life!! You disgusting sinners, you!!!
Oh man, Margaret, you are going to keep me in stitches ALL day long!
By DPR
April 19, 2006 11:00 AM | Link to this
Glad to be back here with the old gang. My 2 young’uns have had the crud that was going around and after taking a few days off to tend to them I got backlogged at work.
But now I’m back and ready to rejoin the fun!
As to today’s topic, I will woefully hide my face :) Being a single dad is hard in more ways than one might imagine! So I have to honestly cast my vote with “below average” for the 2006 season, so far.
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 11:00 AM | Link to this
I dont know about you all But this Topic has put me in the Best of Moods!! I dont feel like Doing any house cleaning today:)
Thanks Theresa!!
By Susie
April 19, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this
Bill, there are anti-depressants (Wellbutrin for one) that will markedly increase the sex drive, and there are ones that will absolutely kill it! So if your wife is taking any kind of anti-depressants she needs to talk to her doctor and tell him she’s having these side effects. There are women who have gone on Wellbutrin just for the sex drive thing. I’ve also heard of women taking Viagara, but not sure about that.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
Hey Maggie, and you are still here, though! We all understand what you’re saying and while we do appreciate it, you’ve had your say and you’ve fulfilled your requirement of telling someone about the Lord for the day, soooooo you are allowed to go now!
By Tamika
April 19, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this
Sex is the Best anti Depressant!
By jahnusy
April 19, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
I think Margaret is just messin with you guys. Saying anything to get a comment. Poor baby is lonely.
By Jesse's Girl
April 19, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
Margaret…I understand your position, I really do. My family and I live a very Biblically based life. But can you imagine for one minute what it must be like for a couple who are having problems in this arena? I for one, would not want to discuss my sex life with our Pastor…too wierd! In this setting, we are as anonymous as we want to be….it offers a level of comfort if you will. I hope some people get good advice from today’s topic and in turn become closer to thier husbands and or wives! Again, I can see your point….perhaps you can chime in today and offer a spiritual view on this!
By Kym
April 19, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this
Amen Tamika!!
By Peter
April 19, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this
I do agree with Margaret somewhat— Seems like people sex life is thrown in our faces every day. We all got the Wonderful news about Tom Cruise eating his baby’s placenta. I could do with out that information. Margaret is wrong calling sex between two married people sinful. If it were sinful and danming how would we have kids. Anyways I am still grossed out by Tom though —That is sinful!!
By Susie
April 19, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this
Now DTub, it plainly says, “THOU SHALT NOT BRING YOUR BEDROOM ONTO A PUBLIC BLOG!” somewhere in Exodus.
And if we are gonna drag what’s Biblical into this, God also commands us not to “withold” from our spouse, unless it’s for a medical reason or during prayer and fasting.
By Susie
April 19, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this
Good grief, Margaret…we aren’t posting pictures or anything, just telling very general details of our own experience.
By TDub
April 19, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this
You’re right Susie. What was I thinking? lol
By Caroline
April 19, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this
As as single mom of a 5 year-old…I can say that I am WAY below average. However much I LOVE it, I can’t seem to find the time to get out and MEET people to get to that point.
Maybe available time isn’t the issue more than I feel guilty for leaving my little guy at home to go on a date when I’ve been working all week. I only get to spend time with him for a couple of hours every evening and then on the weekends.
Anyone have advice?
By dawreck
April 19, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this
I think s*x is one of the most if not thee most intimate way of expressing yourself to your mate and with that said I do so very frequently. In the morning before work is the absolute best for me and my spouse. And then of course several times during the day. With no kids at the present time , it makes it all the better. I would go to say we are way above the national average. Let’s see: 4 times a day (sometimes more) on a weekly basis. Yeah! way above average. As far as positions , there’s a book at Borders that gives you MANY ideas and let me tell you , it is well worth the buy. Problem is that some of us get into a ritual that because that worked last time it’ll work the next few times. Advice I was given was keep it spicy , keep him anticipating what’s next. As the Bible says in The book of Samuel “Intrigue me not to leave you” Pun intented to Marg. I think it is great that most of the people on this blog are happy sexually and those who aren’t I hope it gets better. As for me and mine , there is no question about it. Im game and down for whatever , whenever and where ever.
By Kym
April 19, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
Caroline as a single mom-plan a family fun time event with your son. That is what me and my kid do. We set aside one day for just us, it can be a Friday evening or a Saturday afternoon. We call it “Family Fun Time.” Then that evening plan a little “Mommy time” for yourself. You have to find a balance because everyone needs an outlet. Not saying it has to be a sexually one but the conversation of an adult can be a little more stimulating than that of a 5 year old.
By Theresa
April 19, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this
Caroline - i don’t have any advice but i do have sympathy — that is so tough - and even if you did find someone you liked well enough to do it with, where are you going to do it? don’t want to bring them home necessarily but then you you’ve got to arrange overnight care for your son — that doesn’t seem like fun —
By TDub
April 19, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this
Caroine-I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job raising your lil one. However you do have to give yourself some “self” time every now and then. It doesn’t have to be something sexual or anything like that. But I do believe to be the best mom you can be you have to be able to enjoy yourself sometimes and let yourself “miss” your kid sometimes. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Don’t ever feel guilty for wanting to get out and enjoy yourself. It’s your right as a human being.
By Margaret
April 19, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this
I just wish people had more repect for their lives instead of sharing their bed room garbage to the public. There is more important things in life instead of just sex.
By Susie
April 19, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this
I agree, Tamika…it sure puts a spring in my step! :)
By TDub
April 19, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this
@Tamika and Susie Oh sookie sookie now!
By DPR
April 19, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this