MOMania

By smomma

March 23, 2006 08:04 AM | Link to this

I think I am a nice mix between floater and invisible mom. From some of the PTA functions I have been to I can certainly recognize the other types, some of which I just don’t have time for as I think their behavior can be a little ridiculous at times. For some of them life is a race and they are racing the world. I guess I feel like if life is a race we are only racing ourselves.

By Jesse's Girl

March 23, 2006 08:11 AM | Link to this

Actually, I am none of the above. There are two different groups of mothers that I have to endure on any given day. The ones in our neighborhood are hillarious! It is literally like an episode of Desperate Housewives. They provide endless fodder for my husband and me. They are relativlely harmless and only pester me occasionally. I suppose I have what might be considered a cool job. I am in the entertainment industry…the music side mostly. It keeps me very busy but it isn’t nearly as glamorous as these neighborhood ninnies think. But that doesn’t stop them from “dropping” by after I get back from a trip. I can’t tell you how many cakes, “extra” bottles of good wine, and new Glamour Shot pictures I have been given. The other set of murderous moms I have to deal with are the ones at my daughter’s gym. She is the newest member of a gym team and when they found out what I did for a living, the Queen Bee fell all over herself trying to get some kind of inside scoop. She is constantly planning these parties to fundraise for something or another. And she isn’t beneath using the other gym moms to “jump” me into the gang. They have even been known to show up at the venue I am at and just bump into me. Or tease me with an exclusive invite to the Nordstrom presale…now thats just wrong! So what kind of mom am I? I’m the…I’m not interested in your cakes and pictures, but I’ll take your wine mom!

By Psycho Belle

March 23, 2006 08:23 AM | Link to this

The idea that I could be in a mom clique has not entered my head until now. I don’t socialize much, because most of my time other than my job and my family time at home is spent on school work (part-time in a master’s degree program); taking kids to and fro to events, sleepovers, etc.; and activities related to social and political causes. I like nearly all the moms of my kids’ friends, but I usually don’t see them unless it’s at a school event or when we’re dropping off or picking up kids.

So I guess if I had to pick a category from the list, it would be floater mom—but I have no idea whether I’m popular, and what’s more, I don’t care. I was never in the “silly high school role games” in the first place, having decided before I got to high school that I would not be part of that.

By T

March 23, 2006 08:44 AM | Link to this

OK, This is my kids school. Here is how it is:

The Super Mom: This mom is involved in everything. She has the perfect husband that HELPS with the kids and she plays tennis, in charge of every ascept of the neighborhood. Her house and kids are perfect. Everyone hates her behind her back!

The Artsy Mom: Doesn’t believe in displince their kids ( believes it will hinder their creative side). Thinks the PTA is a politcal group that hinder the creative of the school. Doesn’t shave her legs :)

The “Whatever” Mom: Never has any input just say “Whatever” you want to do is fine with me and very dramatic.

The Lazy Mom: Never pays attend to the snack schedule. The last one to pick up child at school. Dirty house.

The Ghost Mom: NEVER SEE THEM AND NEVER PARTICITPATE IN ANYTHING!

I think all school have a variety type of moms. That’s what makes us unique!!! What works for one mom may not work for another mom…be YOU!! By the way I am one third Super Mom (my husband doesn’t help with the kids) one third “whatever” mom (I am very dramatic) and one third floater mom…pick a day of the week to see what mom I will be that day.

By Bizymom

March 23, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

Real mothers with full loads to not worry about where they fall on the social ladder.

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 09:37 AM | Link to this

I think moms change who they are as they mature into motherhood and also depending on what crowd they’re hanging with. WHen my daughter was first born I hung with a crowd where most of the ladies had a lot more money than us. Many of them lived downtown or Buckhead. They were all very nice ladies, but I think the difference in the money did affect the “role” I played in the group. I was also younger so I think that affected the role as well. Now most of the girlfriends that I see on a regular basis come from our preschool. We’re all pretty similar socioeconomically and my best buddies are all about the same age. I think we change leadership roles depending on what is going on. Artsy stuff then Laura’s in charge, motherhood doubts — we have some older mothers who have older kids we turn to. Obviously sometimes friends are going to have more money than you, but if you’re running a crowd where everyone has a Lexus and you have a Pontiac, you’re going to feel some pressure to fit in.

By pat

March 23, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

What does money have to do with being a mom? Is this about parenting or competing?

By Swangirl

March 23, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

What about Obsessed Mom? I have a friend who would fit this category. She and her spouse have three teens. Their entire (and yes, I do mean entire) lives revolve around the kids. They don’t talk about anything else but PTA, band, school sports, etc. They have no outside interests beyond these topics.

The kids have turned out great. They are wonderful, polite, intelligent kids. But I think there are times when they wish their parents would not focus on them so much and not be at their schools every blessed moment of the day.

I’m also concerned that when the kids have flown the coop for college, this couple will turn to each other and go, “Who are you? Have we met?” I don’t think they know what’s going to hit them.

By Tamika

March 23, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

Yeah I am a Queen. I make my kids call me Queen Tamika or Empresss Tamika. I take them to all the Dance recitals, Basball, football, Soccer, and little Bobbie’s Boy Scouts (which i am not a fan Of)— And we even attend the local Liions club every now and then.

By Tamika

March 23, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

and I am very concerned about Bobbie wanting to sign up for Ballerina classes.. What do I tell the child— Lord oh lord.

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this

Bizymom — I’m not trying to be a jerk to you but that term REAL mom is just throwing me over the edge! Last week there were some ladies using that term and it just makes me crazy! I think what you’re trying to say is that you’re just very busy and don’t have time to worry about what other moms are doing. I think that is a really fair statement and one that many moms will agree with.

Hey Pat — It is about parenting and not about competing. ANd that’s what I’m saying. I think when you’re running wiht a faster crowd ( just like teenagers) you can lose focus and became something that you’re not. (Haven’t you ever seen “Heathers.”) I became a follower with that group and would rearrange my child’s nap schedule to accommodate what the group was doing. They’re all perfectly nice ladies, but I just wasn’t strong enough to stand up all the time and do what was best for me and my baby. WHen my second child came I didn’t have the time or energy to run around all over town and just stayed at home. Since my kids have started preschool, I’ve been spending time with those ladies. I feel like everything we have is fine and I feel like there is more give and take in scheduling and planning things.

By Tina

March 23, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

I’d have to say I’m a floater mom. I’ve never much cared for what other people thought about me (let’s just say I wasn’t voted most popular in my h.s. class of 74 students) and my independent streak is quite wide. My closest friends (who I met two months after our three year olds were born) are all individualists.

As far as preschool stuff goes, I’m happy to pitch in and I’ll sometimes go a little nuts (I’m currently building a new sign for the preschool), but I’ve never set up a playdate with any of the other kids. Part of it may be the age at which I started having children (I’ll be 38 on Monday) and I have a tendency to keep others at arm’s length because I don’t care to get involved in their dramas and frankly, I find a lot of people to be quite flaky.

By anna

March 23, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this

To even bring this subject up is so yuppy socialite. I am secure in who I am, walk to a diffrent drum, no cliques, but very well respected and involved in community. Which by involved, I am in things because I care.

By Tamika

March 23, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

Yeah I agree what is it with Yuppie want to be— Why do we have to be the coolest and top socialite.

By anna

March 23, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

Tamika ballerina classes would be good if bobby wants to play football or basketball. helps coordination

By Tamika

March 23, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

Anna are you sure— I just dont want anyone to pick on him— Kids can be mean. I get so upset when anyone makes my babies upset.

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

Oh I’m a total ALPHA PSYCHO mom now. I just told-off the neighborhood BULLY mom, loud and clear, at my kid’s birthday party of all places. The B from H had it coming. Eight years of crap from her. No mom’s gonna mess with me now.

Better watch those STEAMROLLED moms; never know when they might go off.

By anna

March 23, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

Then get him karate too, then they won’t pick on him

By anne

March 23, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this

Yes, this is a generalization. But in my neighborhood I have observed:

Still dealing with motherhood moms: former sorority girls who are having a tough time with aging. These are mostly stay-at-home moms whose husbands tend to work long hours. Compete (and keep busy) through their children’s MANY activities. Many have a housekeeper. Active in the PTA. Got to the gym each day and check each other out to see who is the thinnest. Like to go shopping. Get together with their girlfriends for happy hours (kids included). Like to gossip (not nicely) about others in the neighborhood. Host events involving lots of alcohol. Flirt with other people’s spouses.

Half-hearted moms: always preaching about how they sacrificed to stay home with their kids - yet they seem terribly unhappy: even with a housekeeper their homes are a mess, & children sometimes wear torn clothing. Schedule children in endless activities as a way to get away from them. Subservient to husbands but extremely passive-aggressive. Get revenge on husbands by complaining about them to girlfriends. Try to get in good with sorority girl moms by going to the gym and helping on PTA projects.

Full-time working moms: drop the children off at daycare or school at 7:30 a.m. and pick them up at 6:00 p.m. Driven to succeed in their career, contributing to society as doctors or nurses, etc. or working long hours out of necessity, these women have no time for playground politics. Secretly despised by some stay-at-home moms because they are usually equal partners with spouses (or may earn more than spouses) and are perceived as being aloof, unavailable and probably “bad moms” for “putting themselves first.”

Part –time working moms (this is me): usually in a state of complete disarray. Rarely get involved in local playground politics because they only have time for work and/or graduate school, children and homes. Not really at home in the stay-at-home or the office worlds because they’re doing both. Not advancing as quickly as their male counterparts because they are not working long hours; gossiped about by some stay-at-home moms because they have not made the “ultimate sacrifice” of quitting their jobs and staying home with the children.

Earth mothers: stay-at-home moms who love spending time with their children above all else and who never refer to it as a “sacrifice,” who usually do not have housekeepers but whose homes are clean (but not perfect), welcoming and child-friendly and who are actively engaged with their children- not competing in the activities marathon but actually doing activities themselves with their children. These are the mothers who actually play with their children on the playground (versus standing around gossiping with friends).

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this

Anne: You must live in my ‘hood!

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

The Motherhood has got us now. I need a drink. NOW!

http://spaceygreview.blogspot.com/

By anna

March 23, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

Just shoot me if I get to where I have to live dreams through my kids.

By Bizymom

March 23, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

Theresa, didn’t mean to throw you over the edge, but I am just a little more than annoyed with women that use “motherhood” as a why to define their pitiful little lives. I am a wife and the mother of two(8 and 12)I work full time plus I am a full time student. More that likely I am not seen as the most social mother around and this is because I use my time wisely and focus on parenting and not social circles. A lot of times these circles consist of women that play all kinds of games and feel the need to compete with each other. I don’t have time for that , I am busy with raising well adjusted children who will one day be able to function fully in this society.

By anna

March 23, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

Bizymom, you make a valid point. Would like to make another one. Mean girls comes from mean moms.

By Bizymom

March 23, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this

I don’t understand your point! The world does’nt care how nice or mean you are. Statistics show that women still make up to 50% less than their male counterparts. If by daugher has to be a little “mean” to make it in the world then so be it.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:04 AM | Link to this

I’ve fluctuated over the years between #’s 6, 7, and 9.

When your kids get older, you realize that all the crap you made such a huge deal out of (having this brand of stroller, or that brand of diaper)when they were toddlers was a so inconsequential, and you get over yourself and everything else!

By pat

March 23, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Everytime I start to soften a bit towards the stereotypical, overly competitive, judgemental, northside, soccer mom, I read something like this. Nobody has even noticed or commented on how, according to Teresa’a pecking order, a mother that doesn’t live in the right neighborhood or go to the right church(meaning protestant) is considered “out of it” and labeled an outcast. I geuss “soccer mom’s” get what they deserve when they are lampooned and ridiculed for being petty and self-involved.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this

Smomma, you said it perfectly…I don’t have time for it!

By Jesse's Girl

March 23, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

Oh, you guys should see the social order in our neighborhood! Seriously, I should film it sometime. The Queen Bee over here is hillarious. She tries her hardest to keep all the other bees in order…they just refuse to cooporate! The Side kick and The Outcast are both having affairs. The Side Kick is messing around with the husband that used to live here with his wife and 4 kids. The Side Kick’s husband is in Iraq, so the other moms are tolerant of this behavior because they figure she has just lost her mind from lonliness. But the Side Kick’s husband got an “anonymous” letter regarding the trist and came home in January for a two week emergency leave. I am pretty sure the Reformed mom mailed the letter..she has joined the Scientology movement and feels it is her duty to rid the world of all immoral goings on. The Outcast is really a lovely gal. She is the one that keeps bringing over the exceptional wine hoping I will bring her with me to one of our venues. But she only does this to make herself look good to the Queen. But hey…it is really good wine, I’m keeping it! She is having an affair with the founder of the Pick up the Poop Brigade. All of these women are so dern funny and they don’t even know it! Desperate Housewives ain’t got nothing on West Cobb baby!

By Ronnie

March 23, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

I am an outcast mommy because I am a daddy.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

Pat, unfortunately, for some people, it’s about competing…for some people, EVERYTHING is about competing, and their kids are just another sport for them to compete in.

By just me

March 23, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

thank you queen bee that makes it official

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

Oooooh, Spacey! Details, please! :)

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

Pat — It’s not my pecking order - I am merely throwing out what a new book says — I’m asking your opinions on it — I didn’t write it or endorse it - I merely summarized it and gave you a link to the whole article about the book —- I think it’s important for women to think about it and examine if they do fall into any of these and if that’s where they want to be — a little self-examinaton never hurt anyone

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

Dang Jesse. You’re making LB (Lower Buckhead) look like Snoozeville. I’m movin’ in up that ‘a way ‘cause I’m the only one having affairs in LB, and it doesn’t even count since I’m divorced.

Still, just not having to answer to Icky Husband trumps all those FRUSTRATED moms ‘cause they suspect me of partaking in Single Person Sex. Very different than Married Person Sex, as we all well know.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

Anna, speaking of living vicariously through kids, what do you all think about these insane “cheerleader moms?” I have a friend (guy friend) whose best friend’s wife has their daughter in competitive cheerleading, and this is her LIFE. (the mom’s, not the daughter.) Even when her daughter isn’t competing, she’s at the gym or at other competitions judging.

They spend about $20,000 a year on cheerleading, with all the travel, costumes, and whatever other costs there are associated with it.

My friend says he’s not sure the daughter really even enjoys it, she just goes along because she always has and doesn’t seem to know any differently. I think these moms are as bad as those psychotic pageant moms.

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

Susie Hon: All details reside on my blog: http://spaceygreview.blogspot.com/

Don’t be too disappointed though if it’s not as tantalizing as you might be lookin’ for. I prefer to blog with a brain - or what’s left of it before The Motherhood made off with most of it.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

Thanks Spacey, I’ll check it out! I know what you mean about what’s left of your brain…heck, we even had a blog about having babies and our IQ’s.

By Chris

March 23, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

Okay, I am tripping over reading this, ha ha.

I’m a full time teacher with a 9 month old son who attends KinderCare full time, who is active in her sorority (we NPHC’ers are in it for life, but that’s for another blog) and who is in school part-time (getting the master’s degree). I also have a hubby who works full time (middle management in IT which means occasional long hours)…we travel as a family regularly, and send our son to visit our parents in Virginia and Florida every once in a while.

I WISH someone would tell me that they are better than me b/c they stay at home, etc. etc.

I guess you could put me into the category of moms who have better things to do than to worry a/b what the mom up the street thinks of me. If the mom up the street has enough time to worry a/b what’s going on in my house or what brand name of stroller I carry, then SHE NEEDS TO GET A LIFE, period.com!!!

By just me

March 23, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

Most of the queen bees are blogging here

By Valarie

March 23, 2006 12:05 PM | Link to this

Motherhood should be a wonderful thing. Sounds like all of you have a alot of good advice to share.

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

Heck… motherhood, life, marriage, war, peace, literature, REM albums, dates, sex, history, death, talk radio, church-going, weddings, funerals, puppies, kittens… yes, EVERYTHING should be just “wonderful.” Ain’t life grand, though, even if little of it turns out so freakin’ “wonderful?”

By Anne

March 23, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

Some of my co-workers and I really get a big kick out of the what we call the North Fulton Moms in Alpharetta. You know the types, they worked and waited until they’re forty to have kids, they live on six ounces of lettuce a day (gotta keep that size 3 figure)and when they shop…get out of their way, the whole world is predicated on them and their needs. They really provide us with some good laughs at the office, almost daily we have a North Fulton Mom story after trying to shop at lunch and dealing with them. I live intown (Morningside area) but work in Alpharetta. They look bitter, rushed and oh yes….hungry. But, thats what you get when hubby has to work 90 hours a week to accomodate your lifestyle.

By GR

March 23, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Theresa,

I also read this article and am glad you wrote a blog about it!

Me, I’m a floater and proud of it for the reasons outlined in the article.

This article did show me what my neighbor who drives me nuts is - a “Desperate Wannabe” - now that I know this I can try to understand her a little better.

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 12:32 PM | Link to this

Anne: I’m so hungry now! And just ask the husbands of any of those N. Fulton Anorexic moms what they like best: boney wives or that plump little office wench downtown at Troutman Flounders, LLP.

By Chris

March 23, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

justme*,

My thoughts exactly ;)

By Anna

March 23, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this

spacey, girl you seriously need a rabies shot or something

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

LOL. Heard it all before.

By anna

March 23, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this

Calling Queen Tamika, please get in here these people are scary

By Tina

March 23, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

I do not fall within the catagories of the above article for me finding even a mom that would socialize with me is the challenge. I don’t seem to find many people who have the same interest as I do so for me i spend most of my days working and taking care of my family, the problem i have is that most of my daughters parents are much older than me, one because my daught is our first and there daughter who is the same age is ther last.. people my age are just starting having children where mine is about to start high school in a year in half, so for all the older moms out there just because you see a younger mother with a child in high school relax we are after the same thing raising great kids and trying to make it every day just like you. stop and think about it once, just because we are younger dosen’t mean we can’t try to be friends. I mean we all need a ladies night out just something to think about

By just me

March 23, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

Tina, girl, you are a unclassified snob

By Spacey G

March 23, 2006 01:06 PM | Link to this

Theresa: You need to work some of that ALPHA mom magic and organize an Atlanta Area Blogger Moms Night Out. We’re expecting great things from you. You wouldn’t want to let us down now would you?

By JUST ME

March 23, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this

some of you people know so much about neighbors and other women, you would make good bounty hunters……

By anna

March 23, 2006 01:43 PM | Link to this

Spacey Gracey you sure seem angry on your blog

By Lilburn Parent

March 23, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

@Jesse’s Girl: Thank you for the comic relief. Your neighborhood is most certainly better than “Desperate Housewives”!

I think I am “QUEEN” of my house mom! I don’t have the time or the patience for DRAMA. Life is too short!

I only make time for DRAMA on the blogs. I enjoy checking them out when I have a free moment… or when I need comic relief from corporate America.

By Susie

March 23, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

Spacey, I think a mom’s night out would be fun! How about it, Theresa?

By Jesse's Girl

March 23, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

Oohhh, I know! Lets form our own gang! Hot Bloggin’ Mamas! Wait, that sounds more like a band. Well, it still works.

By Jesse's Girl

March 23, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

Oohhh, I know! Lets form our own gang! Hot Bloggin’ Mamas! Wait, that sounds more like a band. Well, it still works.

By Jesse's Girl

March 23, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this

Oohh, I know! We should start our own gang! Hot Bloggin’ Mama’s! Wait….that sounds more like band. Well, it still mworks!

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 03:57 PM | Link to this

Hey - I talked about that at the beginning with the ajc marketing people. I think they were worried I would be only person there standing all alone in a bar! They don’t have a lot of faith in the blog’s ability to turn people out for a MOMania Night OUt!

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 03:57 PM | Link to this

Hey - I talked about that at the beginning with the ajc marketing people. I think they were worried I would be only person there standing all alone in a bar! They don’t have a lot of faith in the blog’s ability to turn people out for a MOMania Night OUt!

By Theresa

March 23, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

Spacey — I talked about a mom’s night out some with the ajc marketing people but they didn’t have much faith in the blog’s ability to turn people out — I’d be the only person standing there all alone!

Spacey G - How do you think meeting everyone in person would affect our online relationship — makes me a little nervous — I do have to say I would love to meet Takmika!!

By Amazed (Independent Woman)

March 23, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this

I heard about today’s topic on GET SCHOOLED. I had to read it for myself. I am a fulltime-working single mom who thinks this is the craziest thing I have read in weeks. I’ve never been part of any clique, so I find this as amusing as I did in high school. I just emailed my best friend, so that she can get a really good laugh. This will make great conversation with my co-workers tomorrow.

Now I understand why the women who are in command of our PTA, act the way they do.

By fk

March 23, 2006 04:40 PM | Link to this

i’m a floater, as are my friends. we’re the ones having fun when volunteering at functions. we’re not there to be seen, or to get in good with a teacher or coach. we’re there just to help and have fun. most of us met thru our kids during the elementary school years, and have remained friends thru these high school years, even though our children have branched out in different directions.

for all of you who have not yet hit elementary school pta, wait. you will meet women who fit the stereotypes addressed in the article so perfectly, it’s scary! some of them do resemble a twisted set of sorority sisters. whatever, those are their lives & choices, and they will make no difference in your life tomorrow, unless you’re trying to get in good with them.

working moms and stay-at-home moms, stop picking on each other…get your acts together and show support. congrats to all of you who can do everything! just because you choose to do so, doesn’t give you the right to bash those who choose not to, or those who simply are unable to do so. every one of us has made choices in the past that affect our lives at different stages. encourage one another. we’re all moms with the same goal…doing what’s best for our kids!

By Spacey

March 23, 2006 04:57 PM | Link to this

I already belong to one local bloggers group, and it is a TRIP to get to meet everyone. Pretty cool actually. And trust me, you put it out there and they will come.

You can count on me at least. So that’s one person to lessen the “I’m a chump here alone” factor.

By Spacey

March 23, 2006 05:20 PM | Link to this

Jess: I am SO there. And I can even play 5 guitar chords. You heard about those NJ moms and their mega-hit, Eat Your Damn Spaghetti, right? They were even on CBS Sunday Morning, I kid you not. Let’s talk. I know I could get us one gig — at the Northside Tavern.

By Spacey

March 23, 2006 05:26 PM | Link to this

Here’s the website for Housewives On Prozac:

http://www.housewivesonprozac.com/

Hell, they were on GMA too!

By Spacey

March 23, 2006 05:31 PM | Link to this

Anna: Are you always so ugly (to me), boring and humorless? Must be one oppressive ‘hood you’re living in.

By Loracie

March 23, 2006 06:50 PM | Link to this

Tamika,

Many football and baseball players “secretly” take ballet lessons to help them with their game. Perhaps you should steer Bobbie towards gymnastics or dance?

By msmvance

March 23, 2006 07:19 PM | Link to this

For all of you that are “laughing” at the idea of these cliques, you are not seeing the big picture here. Like “Bizymom”, you say you work full-time, well what happens at work?? Do you all get along perfectly and there is never any levels of hierarchy at the office? I’ve worked various office environments and they all have it! Unless of course you work for yourself!

I really hate when I read on this blog that some mom thinks she is so much better than others because she is not struggling with this item. We are all trying to get through this and we ALL have our struggles. Yours might not be in the social arena with other mothers, but you have your struggles. So let’s not act high and mighty!!

By Joe

March 24, 2006 08:14 AM | Link to this

Hmmm. This is behavior that I observed at the surface and have never understood. You know, it is often thought that it is MEN who get together and establish hierarchies. That is not so much the case. Even at work, guys tend to be rather egalitarian. Among friends…definitely equal. I treat employees at every level with utmost respect, all as colleagues(we are 99% male).

However, women, the more social gender; automatically begin comparing, competing, and jockeying for position when they get together. Y’all are just blogging and there is already talk of forming a gang. Perhaps just in jest, but the thought processes are there.

Nothing wrong with all of this necessarily, just weird (from guy’s perspective). However, the competitiveness can often run with a nasty streak & a dash of OCD…quite scary.

By anna

March 24, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

Spacey how is it Im mean, but you’re the one who lambasted some woman at your kids birthday party. I just read your blog and you definitely sound like you have an anger problem

By Susie

March 24, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this

Hey, AJC…if there’s a MOMania’s Mom’s night out, I will be there! So there!

Apparently the AJC doesn’t understand about moms and our few-and-far-between “mom’s nights out!”

By Susie

March 24, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

msmvance, you are right for the most part. I work in a small office right now, and I can honestly say that we do all get along, and the times we’ve socialized away from the office, we’ve had a blast.

HOWEVER: I started my first “real” job at age 20, just after getting married, but before kids, in a huge office in a huge department. I worked for 6 years for a not-to-be-mentioned airline in Atlanta, and unfortunately I got my “education” there as far as the way women in the work place can and will treat each other. Never saw so many women on anti-depressants in one place in my life. I’m glad I got out before I invested any more time there than I did.

By Jaz

March 24, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

Why do I have to socialize with the idiots in my neighborhood just because I have a kid now? I went to a mom’s night out at a neighbor’s house. Everyone was pretty nice but some people talked graphically about chilbirth for at least 2 hours!! Gross, don’t remind me!

By anna

March 24, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

You don’t have to. I think people just like to hear themselves talk. Like everybody talks and nobody listens. Kind of like, here.

By Jaz

March 24, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

You are right Anna. I don’t have to be dragged into it, noone has to. I think most people here secretly relish this heirarchy. I noticed that when the moms got together the ones who seemed to be jockeying for “top positions” were people who had nothing interesting to say.

By anna

March 24, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

why does there have to be a top position. I am an individualist always have been. When my son was in school, he was extremely popular, star athelete, so people included me in on things because of him. My butt got kissed six way to sunday. People are so stupid

By jaz

March 24, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

I don’t know why either. I’m basically ignoring it all and I am hanging out with the people I was friends with before I had a kid, they are my real friends, not people who spend time together because of ONE common thread…children.

By anna

March 24, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

It’s like you have an identity until you are married and then you are so and so wife, then so and so mother. You probably won’t have an identity until they put you in a nursing home. By then you won’t care!

By anna

March 24, 2006 11:45 AM | Link to this

I don’t know about you but our lives are so hectic at home from problems, elder care, and general chaos, I don’t have time for a whole lot of momalizing

By Peaceforall

March 24, 2006 11:53 AM | Link to this

Anna, I agree, mine is too. I have a sister-in-law with 2 kids and she lives for attention and popularity from other parents. We don’t talk much because of that.

By Peaceforall

March 24, 2006 11:57 AM | Link to this

I thought I was the only one that felt that way. I was beginning to think something was wrong with ME.

By anna

March 24, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

my best friend is 15 years older than me. She was my working partner and knows all my trials and troubles. REally listens and cares. No social club.

By Peaceforall

March 24, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

Me too…I have a best friend…we’ve been friends for about that long. We don’t talk every day, and live 1500 miles apart, but I can talk to her about anything..anytime, any day, and she’s right there……life is funny…

By Jean

March 24, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

I too have wondered if something was wrong with ME because I don’t seem to fit into the mom cliques. It has always seemed like a popularity contest. The PTA Board moms and the over-involved moms at school pretty much run the show. It seems to be pretty much a social club. I think the teachers resent them sometimes also. My sister is one of those moms and it seems like keeping up appearances and the competitiveness of the other moms is a lot of work! Some of these moms can be very critical.